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If I Can't Have You: Susan Powell, Her Mysterious Disappearance, and the Murder of Her Children
In If I Can't Have You, bestselling author Gregg Olsen and co-author Rebecca Morris investigate one of the 21st Century's most puzzling disappearances and how it resulted in the murder of two children by their father.
Every once in a great while a genuine murder mystery unfolds before the eyes of the American public. The tragic story of Susan Powell and her murdered boys, Charlie and Braden, is the only case that rivals the Jon Benet Ramsey saga in the annals of true crime. When the pretty, blonde Utah mother went missing in December of 2009 the media was swept up in the story – with lenses and microphones trained on Susan's husband, Josh. He said he had no idea what happened to his young wife, and that he and the boys had been camping in the middle of a snowstorm.
Over the next three years bombshell by bombshell, the story would reveal more shocking secrets. Josh's father, Steve, who was sexually obsessed with Susan, would ultimately be convicted of unspeakable perversion. Josh's brother, Michael, would commit suicide. And in the most stunning event of them all, Josh Powell would murder his two little boys and kill himself with brutality beyond belief.
Every once in a great while a genuine murder mystery unfolds before the eyes of the American public. The tragic story of Susan Powell and her murdered boys, Charlie and Braden, is the only case that rivals the Jon Benet Ramsey saga in the annals of true crime. When the pretty, blonde Utah mother went missing in December of 2009 the media was swept up in the story – with lenses and microphones trained on Susan's husband, Josh. He said he had no idea what happened to his young wife, and that he and the boys had been camping in the middle of a snowstorm.
Over the next three years bombshell by bombshell, the story would reveal more shocking secrets. Josh's father, Steve, who was sexually obsessed with Susan, would ultimately be convicted of unspeakable perversion. Josh's brother, Michael, would commit suicide. And in the most stunning event of them all, Josh Powell would murder his two little boys and kill himself with brutality beyond belief.
336 pages, Hardcover
First published May 6, 2014
1264 people are currently reading
20415 people want to read
About the author
Gregg Olsen
115 books7,225 followersThroughout his career, Gregg Olsen has demonstrated an ability to create a detailed narrative that offers readers fascinating insights into the lives of people caught in extraordinary circumstances.
A #1 New York Times bestselling author, Olsen has written ten nonfiction books, ten novels, and contributed a short story to a collection edited by Lee Child.
The award-winning author has been a guest on dozens of national and local television shows, including educational programs for the History Channel, Learning Channel, and Discovery Channel. He has also appeared on Good Morning America, The Early Show, The Today Show, FOX News; CNN, Anderson Cooper 360, MSNBC, Entertainment Tonight, CBS 48 Hours, Oxygen’s Snapped, Court TV’s Crier Live, Inside Edition, Extra, Access Hollywood, and A&E’s Biography.
In addition to television and radio appearances, the award-winning author has been featured in Redbook, USA Today, People, Salon magazine, Seattle Times, Los Angeles Times and the New York Post.
The Deep Dark was named Idaho Book of the Year by the ILA and Starvation Heights was honored by Washington’s Secretary of State for the book’s contribution to Washington state history and culture.
Olsen, a Seattle native, lives in Olalla, Washington with his wife and Suri (a mini dachshund so spoiled she wears a sweater).
A #1 New York Times bestselling author, Olsen has written ten nonfiction books, ten novels, and contributed a short story to a collection edited by Lee Child.
The award-winning author has been a guest on dozens of national and local television shows, including educational programs for the History Channel, Learning Channel, and Discovery Channel. He has also appeared on Good Morning America, The Early Show, The Today Show, FOX News; CNN, Anderson Cooper 360, MSNBC, Entertainment Tonight, CBS 48 Hours, Oxygen’s Snapped, Court TV’s Crier Live, Inside Edition, Extra, Access Hollywood, and A&E’s Biography.
In addition to television and radio appearances, the award-winning author has been featured in Redbook, USA Today, People, Salon magazine, Seattle Times, Los Angeles Times and the New York Post.
The Deep Dark was named Idaho Book of the Year by the ILA and Starvation Heights was honored by Washington’s Secretary of State for the book’s contribution to Washington state history and culture.
Olsen, a Seattle native, lives in Olalla, Washington with his wife and Suri (a mini dachshund so spoiled she wears a sweater).
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 711 reviews
June 7, 2014
Even knowing this story intimately, inside and out, as I do, I still couldn't put this book down. I learned several things that even I didn't know. It was accurately factual and well-researched, and told Susan's story very well. The authors did a wonderful job.
April 10, 2019
On February 5th, 2012, hours before the Giants defeated the Patriots to win their fourth Superbowl, America's television screens were filled with images of what remained of an exploded house. Josh Powell--a person of interest for more than two years in the disappearance of his wife Susan--had killed his two young sons and himself in order to prevent his in-laws from taking custody of the boys.
This book is an account of Susan Powell's troubled marriage and her suspicious disappearance, but it is also an account of the two years of investigation that followed. Given what the reader learns of Josh's pattern of controlling behavior, his scarcely credible alibi, his suspicious actions following his wife's disappearance, and the many pieces of supportive evidence accumulated by law enforcement, it is almost impossible not to ask: shouldn't he have been charged with murder and taken into custody? True, Susan's body was never found, and prosecuting a murder without a body is a difficult undertaking. On the other hand, if he had been charged and incarcerated, his two sons might be alive today.
Olsen and Morris do a good job of setting out the details in good order, creating suspense and mystery where they can, and yet giving us a disturbing portrait of the Powell marriage and the entire Powell family, including Josh's father Steve—an odious man sexually obsessed with his daughter-in-law--who, although probably not a murderer, may be the real villain in the piece.
This book is written in an efficient, straightforward style, and delivers what it promises. If you like true crime books, I think you will be pleased with this one.
August 11, 2017
This book pulled me in and I couldn't put it down. After learning about this couple on the news, I had to find out more. It's such a harrowing story and I was hoping to learn details that weren't in the documentaries.
It's well researched and a true crime story that will leave you shocked. It's difficult to read at times, but I wanted to know the truth and every fact. I feel so sorry for Susan's family and I still can't believe what people are willing to do to keep things in their control. It made me wish I could help her and her two beautiful children.
Overall, the book was written well and it's a fast-paced read. I don't want to spoil the details, so if you'd like to learn more about the Powell family, you should read this one.
5*****
It's well researched and a true crime story that will leave you shocked. It's difficult to read at times, but I wanted to know the truth and every fact. I feel so sorry for Susan's family and I still can't believe what people are willing to do to keep things in their control. It made me wish I could help her and her two beautiful children.
Overall, the book was written well and it's a fast-paced read. I don't want to spoil the details, so if you'd like to learn more about the Powell family, you should read this one.
5*****
August 13, 2016
I felt like this after finishing this book:
I'm disgusted by the police. I had no idea that the circumstantial case was so strong against Josh Powell. Those poor kids shouldn't've died. I mean, it would've been terrible if the only thing the police had against Josh was his wife's disappearance. That wouldn't lesson the tragedy. It's just the fact that they had so much against him. Enough to, at the very least, terminated his parental rights.
Let's see: a) they found Susan's blood in an area that Josh was frantically trying to clean. b) cadaver dogs were altered that there had been a dead body in the brother's car. c) he destroyed a lot of evidence after he got back from his camping trip. d) he cancelled automatic payments to things like daycare a good four or five days before she died and then told the babysitter that she wasn't needed after Susan disappeared (that he was going to have his family watch them.) e) when police notified him of his missing wife, he made a cellphone call to ask her where is was -- and the police found her cell in his car with him. f) the testimony that Josh said over and over again how much he wanted Susan to die and how he could get away with the perfect murder. g) the fact that both the sons were telling, and kept telling, pretty much everyone (along with drawing fucking diagrams) of what happened to their mother.
Un-fucking-believable.
I'm disgusted by the police. I had no idea that the circumstantial case was so strong against Josh Powell. Those poor kids shouldn't've died. I mean, it would've been terrible if the only thing the police had against Josh was his wife's disappearance. That wouldn't lesson the tragedy. It's just the fact that they had so much against him. Enough to, at the very least, terminated his parental rights.
Let's see: a) they found Susan's blood in an area that Josh was frantically trying to clean. b) cadaver dogs were altered that there had been a dead body in the brother's car. c) he destroyed a lot of evidence after he got back from his camping trip. d) he cancelled automatic payments to things like daycare a good four or five days before she died and then told the babysitter that she wasn't needed after Susan disappeared (that he was going to have his family watch them.) e) when police notified him of his missing wife, he made a cellphone call to ask her where is was -- and the police found her cell in his car with him. f) the testimony that Josh said over and over again how much he wanted Susan to die and how he could get away with the perfect murder. g) the fact that both the sons were telling, and kept telling, pretty much everyone (along with drawing fucking diagrams) of what happened to their mother.
Un-fucking-believable.
February 21, 2015
"Mommy's in the trunk...Mommy and Daddy got out...And Mommy never came back.
I'm thinking unless you've lived on another planet the last few years, most everyone is aware of the basics of this sad story. Utah wife and mother Susan Powell goes missing after the husband takes the two young boys *camping* to a very remote location in the middle of the winter and in the middle of the night at that. Comes home the next day and spends hours cleaning out his van and areas in the home instead of taking part in the search effort.
Why the local police detectives weren't all over him like bees on honey from the get-go should be a dereliction of duty.
Any-hoo, you either know the story or you don't, so I'm not going to blather on and spoil further for those new to this sad saga. And for those like me who have been following the case in the news and know what the ending is, there's so much more you didn't hear on the newscasts that will make you very, very angry at the injustice of it all. Josh Powell had a very disturbed father who with one exception raised a very disturbed pack of kids.
"Sitting at home all summer wasn't ideal in a home not really set up for little ones - a household with an uncle on meds, a caregiver aunt who'd been thrust into the role without any training, and a grandfather who was obsessed with pornography.
*shudders*
And ya know, not a spoiler since it's a matter of public record but
This story will make you cry at the injustice of it all, and will also make you very, very angry - and not just at the Powell family but the spineless police detectives and other official agencies that couldn't seem to talk to each other. The circumstancial evidence is just too compelling to be coincidence.
Josh Powell, may you burn in hell forever and a day.
My copy obtained via library loan.
I'm thinking unless you've lived on another planet the last few years, most everyone is aware of the basics of this sad story. Utah wife and mother Susan Powell goes missing after the husband takes the two young boys *camping* to a very remote location in the middle of the winter and in the middle of the night at that. Comes home the next day and spends hours cleaning out his van and areas in the home instead of taking part in the search effort.
Why the local police detectives weren't all over him like bees on honey from the get-go should be a dereliction of duty.
Any-hoo, you either know the story or you don't, so I'm not going to blather on and spoil further for those new to this sad saga. And for those like me who have been following the case in the news and know what the ending is, there's so much more you didn't hear on the newscasts that will make you very, very angry at the injustice of it all. Josh Powell had a very disturbed father who with one exception raised a very disturbed pack of kids.
"Sitting at home all summer wasn't ideal in a home not really set up for little ones - a household with an uncle on meds, a caregiver aunt who'd been thrust into the role without any training, and a grandfather who was obsessed with pornography.
*shudders*
And ya know, not a spoiler since it's a matter of public record but
This story will make you cry at the injustice of it all, and will also make you very, very angry - and not just at the Powell family but the spineless police detectives and other official agencies that couldn't seem to talk to each other. The circumstancial evidence is just too compelling to be coincidence.
Josh Powell, may you burn in hell forever and a day.
My copy obtained via library loan.
June 7, 2019
Oh, I feel weird saying I loved a true crime book with a sad ending but it really sucked me in.
A young mother mysteriously disappears. All hints seem to point to her controlling husband. When shocking secrets come to light and the couples two young boys begin to open up, it all culminates in a breaking point that only a few saw coming.
A young mother mysteriously disappears. All hints seem to point to her controlling husband. When shocking secrets come to light and the couples two young boys begin to open up, it all culminates in a breaking point that only a few saw coming.
July 22, 2025
"'Let's not refer to this, please, in public, as a tragedy. This was not a tragedy. This is a horrible murder of two little kids. Let's not dress it up. Let's not sanitize it. Let's not distance ourselves from it. It is something wrong. It is something evil.'" -- Pierce County, Washington sheriff Paul Pastor, page 298
I don't read much true crime these days- not like I did 20 to 30 years ago - but occasionally I will get caught up in a narrative, and become so enthralled that I will read a book in a single day. Olsen and Morris' If I Can't Have You worked like that for me. Although I have only vague recollections of the case - which began with the mysterious disappearance of of a Utah wife/mother in December 2009, and somewhat concluded (not the best phrasing, I know) with the horrific murder of her two sons by the suspect husband, which was followed by his suicide, in February 2012 - this publication was excellent in its account pacing and detailing the involved persons and what transpired during those 2+ years. I admired the faith and fortitude inherent in Chuck and Judy Cox - parents of the missing woman, and grandparents to the slain little boys - and I can't possibly imagine how they were able to manage to navigate this situation. I also believe the above-quoted lawman was correct when he referred to evil being involved (because these days we're more likely to just assign psychological explanations instead), and it was very unsettling to be shown how the extended Powell family of suspects blended in - at least on the surface - for a time in the average American suburbia, when underneath there was so much wrong with some of them that it was like danger living next door.
I don't read much true crime these days- not like I did 20 to 30 years ago - but occasionally I will get caught up in a narrative, and become so enthralled that I will read a book in a single day. Olsen and Morris' If I Can't Have You worked like that for me. Although I have only vague recollections of the case - which began with the mysterious disappearance of of a Utah wife/mother in December 2009, and somewhat concluded (not the best phrasing, I know) with the horrific murder of her two sons by the suspect husband, which was followed by his suicide, in February 2012 - this publication was excellent in its account pacing and detailing the involved persons and what transpired during those 2+ years. I admired the faith and fortitude inherent in Chuck and Judy Cox - parents of the missing woman, and grandparents to the slain little boys - and I can't possibly imagine how they were able to manage to navigate this situation. I also believe the above-quoted lawman was correct when he referred to evil being involved (because these days we're more likely to just assign psychological explanations instead), and it was very unsettling to be shown how the extended Powell family of suspects blended in - at least on the surface - for a time in the average American suburbia, when underneath there was so much wrong with some of them that it was like danger living next door.
February 27, 2017
This book has two major flaws. First, there's just not enough material to make this book of this length interesting. We all know that poor Susan Powell is dead and we all know it was because of her husband, Josh, and an undetermined number of his creepy family members. But because Susan's body has never been found, her husband can never be brought to justice by a trial, and none of the remaining Powells are talking, there's not really too much to write about.
Second, what there is to write about isn't written about terribly well or objectively. Josh Powell is not a sympathetic figure in this story -- none of the Powells are -- and his actions clearly stand as awful on their own. Repeated remarks about how "evil" Josh or his father are feel like overkill. Similarly, I didn't need to be convinced that Susan *didn't* deserve to be murdered; I was already on the her side, and after a certain point, talking about how wonderful Susan was became boring.
The poor pacing, filler material, and lack of objectivity made reading this book feel like talking to Susan's gossipy neighbor. I gave the book two stars because the case is perversely interesting and I did have enough interest in the subject to finish the book.
Second, what there is to write about isn't written about terribly well or objectively. Josh Powell is not a sympathetic figure in this story -- none of the Powells are -- and his actions clearly stand as awful on their own. Repeated remarks about how "evil" Josh or his father are feel like overkill. Similarly, I didn't need to be convinced that Susan *didn't* deserve to be murdered; I was already on the her side, and after a certain point, talking about how wonderful Susan was became boring.
The poor pacing, filler material, and lack of objectivity made reading this book feel like talking to Susan's gossipy neighbor. I gave the book two stars because the case is perversely interesting and I did have enough interest in the subject to finish the book.
July 8, 2019
The story is appalling; this book is merely competent. A young Utah wife and mother is declared missing while her hot-headed husband and two sweet sons are out on an unusual winter camping trip. To the consternation of her family, the husband refuses to cooperate with the police.
.
If I Can't Have You is good enough reading, but at times it drags, more from the inherent slowness and broad time span of the story itself than any deficit on the part of the authors. I wish more had been made of the fact that the frustratingly slow procedural results along the way came from the clash in philosophies and investigatory styles of the two government agencies at work: the police, who focused on looking for the missing wife and mother; and social services, which concerned itself with the welfare of the two little boys. The authors mention this clash, but do not really develop it. Otherwise, it's a good enough recount though the reader is warned at every turn when something gruesome is on the way -- what, we cannot imagine. It's that kind of book.
.
If I Can't Have You is good enough reading, but at times it drags, more from the inherent slowness and broad time span of the story itself than any deficit on the part of the authors. I wish more had been made of the fact that the frustratingly slow procedural results along the way came from the clash in philosophies and investigatory styles of the two government agencies at work: the police, who focused on looking for the missing wife and mother; and social services, which concerned itself with the welfare of the two little boys. The authors mention this clash, but do not really develop it. Otherwise, it's a good enough recount though the reader is warned at every turn when something gruesome is on the way -- what, we cannot imagine. It's that kind of book.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
July 12, 2017
از داستانهای خوب سبک جنایی که این امکان رو میده که خواننده خودش بتونه مساله رو حل کنه و همچنین دید مناسبی از ذهن مجرم میده. البته اینکه درنهایت مساله هرگز حل نشد و ... کمی آزار دهنده بود. البته چیز زیادی هم برای حل کردن نبود چون تقریبا از همون ابتدا مشخص بود که چه اتفاقی افتاده. داستان ناپدید شدن سوزان پووِل در منزلش در شهر یوتا هستش در حالی که شوهرش و دو پسرش به کمپینگ رفته بودن.
داستان هیجان انگیز و در انتها خیلی تلخه. نثر مناسب و توصیفات دقیق و مناسب شرایط جنایی داره. سرعت پیشرویش هم مناسبه.
داستان هیجان انگیز و در انتها خیلی تلخه. نثر مناسب و توصیفات دقیق و مناسب شرایط جنایی داره. سرعت پیشرویش هم مناسبه.
August 24, 2014
I found this book to be flat and emotionless. It was like reading a newspaper article.
Nevertheless, it's a heart breaking story and I feel that at least part of the tragedy could have been avoided.
August 30, 2016
What I want to actually say in this review would be deemed HIGHLY inappropriate. To have been a friend or family member of Susan Cox Powell must be the most frustrating, exasperating, saddening thing imaginable. To live with no closure and so much pain and death is unbelievable. There were whole chapters that just broke my heart or simply made me want to vomit from the pervading evil and sickness in the Powell family. And I'm sorry but I have to say this-WTF 911 dispatcher???? Were you even listening to the case worker? I closed the book completely numb having missed hours of sleep 2 mornings in a row to finish this tragic tale of a wife's misery and abduction and her friends' and family's neverending pursuit of the truth.
January 4, 2021
My Rating: 4 stars
Genre True Crime
The mystery surrounding the Susan Powell mystery is a very high-profile case. There have been a few investigations shows detailing her disappearance and the aftermath, so I decided to take a peek at the book because I knew OF the case but not much ABOUT it. Well, this book and the entire story surrounding her disappearance is absolutely DEVISTATING. How a man can not only (possibly) kill his wife and then himself and his children is SHOCKING, disturbing, and utterly heartbreaking. I’ll admit, the story brought tears to my eyes, but I also felt a ton of outrage while reading it. I kept asking myself how the hell did this man get away with everything. Why was he NEVER arrested? They could have had him in cuffs so many times, but they never did! The evidence against him was ridiculously high and the police never once took him into custody. How this happened is beyond me and I can only imagine the outrage these families have felt because I felt it and I’m not even a part of the case! Gregg Olsen and Rebecca Morris did a good job bringing this case to light in this novel and while I’m glad to have read it (I am a true crime junkie) I am also sickened. I find myself wondering if the police in their town are to blame because they could have done SOMETHING to protect those children. Ugh. Their story is devastating.
If you enjoy true crime novels and have heard about this case, I recommend giving this book a try. While I wish there were more answers in terms of what happened to Susan Powell, I think her story SHOULD be told to help prevent things like this happening in the future.
𝗠𝗬 𝗥𝗔𝗧𝗜𝗡𝗚: ⭐⭐⭐⭐
Genre True Crime
The mystery surrounding the Susan Powell mystery is a very high-profile case. There have been a few investigations shows detailing her disappearance and the aftermath, so I decided to take a peek at the book because I knew OF the case but not much ABOUT it. Well, this book and the entire story surrounding her disappearance is absolutely DEVISTATING. How a man can not only (possibly) kill his wife and then himself and his children is SHOCKING, disturbing, and utterly heartbreaking. I’ll admit, the story brought tears to my eyes, but I also felt a ton of outrage while reading it. I kept asking myself how the hell did this man get away with everything. Why was he NEVER arrested? They could have had him in cuffs so many times, but they never did! The evidence against him was ridiculously high and the police never once took him into custody. How this happened is beyond me and I can only imagine the outrage these families have felt because I felt it and I’m not even a part of the case! Gregg Olsen and Rebecca Morris did a good job bringing this case to light in this novel and while I’m glad to have read it (I am a true crime junkie) I am also sickened. I find myself wondering if the police in their town are to blame because they could have done SOMETHING to protect those children. Ugh. Their story is devastating.
If you enjoy true crime novels and have heard about this case, I recommend giving this book a try. While I wish there were more answers in terms of what happened to Susan Powell, I think her story SHOULD be told to help prevent things like this happening in the future.
𝗠𝗬 𝗥𝗔𝗧𝗜𝗡𝗚: ⭐⭐⭐⭐
May 18, 2014
I can remember reading bits and pieces about the Powell family on the internet. Just like everyone else, I was spellbound by this story. Hoping for a happy ending. Even though Susan was missing. I was praying for the two little boys, Charlie and Braden. It seemed like the boys were going to get their happy ending until that unthinkable act by their father took them away.
I am familiar with Mr. Olsen's work as an author. I can not imagine writing a book like this. I don't know how Ann Rule does it. I have read some of her books as well. This story is really sad. It goes to show you that we all have our secrets. You never know what people are hiding behind closed doors. It is very sad that Susan was so dedicated to her husband, despite all the signs that he exhibited in their marriage. If she could have found the greater strength to leave sooner, this story might have been different. Again, it is easy for me and others to say ...could have, should have, would have, when we are not in the situation. However the authorities were sloppy in the way that they handled the investigation. We have all these agencies that are supposed to help people and protect them and yet too many innocent lives are being lost every day. This needs to stop. I thought the authors did a good joint job of writing and telling Susan's story. They gave her a voice again. Although, this book was hard to read at times. Especially as the secrets and violence escalated. Ann Rule fans will like this book.
I am familiar with Mr. Olsen's work as an author. I can not imagine writing a book like this. I don't know how Ann Rule does it. I have read some of her books as well. This story is really sad. It goes to show you that we all have our secrets. You never know what people are hiding behind closed doors. It is very sad that Susan was so dedicated to her husband, despite all the signs that he exhibited in their marriage. If she could have found the greater strength to leave sooner, this story might have been different. Again, it is easy for me and others to say ...could have, should have, would have, when we are not in the situation. However the authorities were sloppy in the way that they handled the investigation. We have all these agencies that are supposed to help people and protect them and yet too many innocent lives are being lost every day. This needs to stop. I thought the authors did a good joint job of writing and telling Susan's story. They gave her a voice again. Although, this book was hard to read at times. Especially as the secrets and violence escalated. Ann Rule fans will like this book.
August 15, 2014
I read this book in three days, not just because of the book's extreme readability, but because I couldn't stand to be a part of the evil of the events described therein for much longer than that.
Like many others, I followed this case compulsively when it was in the news. The book reports, in great detail, of what happened. But more than that, it functions as a reminder of other important things:
1. Susan's family (I'm clearly referring to the Coxes here) have suffered nearly more than one can possibly conceive.
2. It keeps Susan and her children in the public's memory.
3. It works to set the record straight and refute the shameful and disgraceful lies that the Powell family tried to perpetuate for so long. And, therefore,
4. It reiterates how despicable the Powell family is/was.
Let's be clear here: the victims of Josh's horrific acts are Susan's family and her friends. Josh never was a victim, even though some might try to scapegoat his father for Josh's behavior. This is wrong. Though Steve is clearly an evil man and a horrible father and human being who deserves to spend the rest of his life in jail, Josh is wholly responsible for what he did. There are many, many cases of people who overcame massive personal struggles to become good and successful people. Josh obviously did not try to rise above his tortured childhood. He not only was a narcissistic, cowardly, monster, he reveled in his evilness. He chose to kill his entire family. Though his sister and father will doubtlessly keep trying to convince the media that Josh was the victim of a conspiracy by the media and the LDS church (which is, yes, just as ridiculous as it sounds), they are wrong. Josh was purely evil.
There is a poignant quote near the end of the book by Paul Pastor, the Pierce County (Washington) Sheriff, that needs to be repeated here: "This was something evil. Let's not refer to this, please, in public, as a tragedy. This was not a tragedy. This is a horrible murder of two little kids. Let's not dress it up. Let's not sanitize it. Let's not distance ourselves from it. It is something wrong. It is something evil."
The heartbreaking book by Olsen and Morris brings to light not only the evil, but also the good. It is very heartening to read about the family and the community of Susan and the boys and their acts of love.
Like many others, I followed this case compulsively when it was in the news. The book reports, in great detail, of what happened. But more than that, it functions as a reminder of other important things:
1. Susan's family (I'm clearly referring to the Coxes here) have suffered nearly more than one can possibly conceive.
2. It keeps Susan and her children in the public's memory.
3. It works to set the record straight and refute the shameful and disgraceful lies that the Powell family tried to perpetuate for so long. And, therefore,
4. It reiterates how despicable the Powell family is/was.
Let's be clear here: the victims of Josh's horrific acts are Susan's family and her friends. Josh never was a victim, even though some might try to scapegoat his father for Josh's behavior. This is wrong. Though Steve is clearly an evil man and a horrible father and human being who deserves to spend the rest of his life in jail, Josh is wholly responsible for what he did. There are many, many cases of people who overcame massive personal struggles to become good and successful people. Josh obviously did not try to rise above his tortured childhood. He not only was a narcissistic, cowardly, monster, he reveled in his evilness. He chose to kill his entire family. Though his sister and father will doubtlessly keep trying to convince the media that Josh was the victim of a conspiracy by the media and the LDS church (which is, yes, just as ridiculous as it sounds), they are wrong. Josh was purely evil.
There is a poignant quote near the end of the book by Paul Pastor, the Pierce County (Washington) Sheriff, that needs to be repeated here: "This was something evil. Let's not refer to this, please, in public, as a tragedy. This was not a tragedy. This is a horrible murder of two little kids. Let's not dress it up. Let's not sanitize it. Let's not distance ourselves from it. It is something wrong. It is something evil."
The heartbreaking book by Olsen and Morris brings to light not only the evil, but also the good. It is very heartening to read about the family and the community of Susan and the boys and their acts of love.
February 2, 2019
Probably one of the most chilling, tragic cases I've ever heard about, but it's not told in the most engaging way.
Since Susan Cox's family was, understandably, most receptive to this story being told, a lot of the book deals with their side of the story. But theirs' is the side that is in the dark--though they have suspicions and theories, they have no idea what really happened to their daughter. Only the Powells presumably knew that, and the ones who could have revealed the truth are dead. (Unless you believe Josh's father Steve had something to do with Susan's disappearance, and I don't. Susan's husband Josh's actions toward their own children proves what he is capable of.)
Because of these limitations, a lot of this book is repetitive filler, focused on the increasing bad blood between the Cox and Powell families, or the Coxes' frustration on the lack of justice in the case. The authors did the best they could, but this book is far from a page-turner. It's very easy to put down, unless you want to read for the 500th time that Josh's dad was sexually obsessed with Josh's wife. (Eww.)
Since Susan Cox's family was, understandably, most receptive to this story being told, a lot of the book deals with their side of the story. But theirs' is the side that is in the dark--though they have suspicions and theories, they have no idea what really happened to their daughter. Only the Powells presumably knew that, and the ones who could have revealed the truth are dead. (Unless you believe Josh's father Steve had something to do with Susan's disappearance, and I don't. Susan's husband Josh's actions toward their own children proves what he is capable of.)
Because of these limitations, a lot of this book is repetitive filler, focused on the increasing bad blood between the Cox and Powell families, or the Coxes' frustration on the lack of justice in the case. The authors did the best they could, but this book is far from a page-turner. It's very easy to put down, unless you want to read for the 500th time that Josh's dad was sexually obsessed with Josh's wife. (Eww.)
August 3, 2024
This was a reread for me. I read it 5-6 years ago and it’s as tragic now as it was then. Maybe more so because Susan is still missing 😢 This whole story is a complete tragedy. From Susan, to the horrific murder of her two boys by their ‘father’. The book it’s self is so well written, plenty of information in there without bogging you down, and if you’re not a fan of the courtroom, this has minimal scenes in it. It was heart wrenching to read some of the autopsy report about the boys so be warned ‼️ triggers for murder, domestic/emotional abuse, child murder, suicide, CEM themes ‼️
I truly hope that they can one day find Susan’s body so she can be buried with her boys 😓
January 18, 2022
Story 4/5
Narration 5/5
"If I Can’t Have You", is a sad, well written and documented, True Crime story.
Narration 5/5
"If I Can’t Have You", is a sad, well written and documented, True Crime story.
December 17, 2021
The disappearance of Susan Powell was a case with which I was only vaguely familiar before reading Gregg Olsen and Rebecca Morris's book. This is despite the apparently prominent coverage it received. Maybe that's down to me (consciously or not) dismissing the story as an example of "missing white woman syndrome"; a sad story for sure, but not the kind that I'd follow with as much interest as that of a serial killer or someone like John List, a more well-known family annihilator than Josh Powell.
It turns out that there was much more to the story than I knew going into If I Can't Have You. There's the self-centred husband and father who appeared to view his family as a form of property. The obsessive and delusional father-in-law with a laundry list of sexual deviancies. The public battle over the missing Susan Powell's reputation, which divides two families. The questionable police work done in the months and years following Susan's disappearance. And, of course, the brutal murder-suicide that caps the whole tragic tale.
Gregg Olsen's straightforward, occasionally speculative style can be hit or miss. It didn't really work in If Loving You Is Wrong but it's a good fit for a story where every new twist arrives with a grim inevitability and all but a few relatives of Joshua and Susan Powell act almost like NPCs. In what may be his best true crime book, Olsen and co-author Morris make the case, without overtly pressing it, that much of what happened after Susan Powell disappeared could have been avoided. The book could have been closed. Yet the case remains open-ended, Susan Powell's killer(s) never faced true justice and as of 2021, her body remains unfound.
It turns out that there was much more to the story than I knew going into If I Can't Have You. There's the self-centred husband and father who appeared to view his family as a form of property. The obsessive and delusional father-in-law with a laundry list of sexual deviancies. The public battle over the missing Susan Powell's reputation, which divides two families. The questionable police work done in the months and years following Susan's disappearance. And, of course, the brutal murder-suicide that caps the whole tragic tale.
Gregg Olsen's straightforward, occasionally speculative style can be hit or miss. It didn't really work in If Loving You Is Wrong but it's a good fit for a story where every new twist arrives with a grim inevitability and all but a few relatives of Joshua and Susan Powell act almost like NPCs. In what may be his best true crime book, Olsen and co-author Morris make the case, without overtly pressing it, that much of what happened after Susan Powell disappeared could have been avoided. The book could have been closed. Yet the case remains open-ended, Susan Powell's killer(s) never faced true justice and as of 2021, her body remains unfound.
July 10, 2019
This is a well-written account of the Susan Powell disappearance and subsequent murder of her children that played out locally in Utah a few years ago. There are not a lot of good guys in it. The evil and perversion of a family, the slow movement of the police, and the helplessness of everybody else makes this a difficult book.
After many years of training--from Nancy Drew to Erle Stanley Gardner to Mary Higgins Clark, with advanced training by Patricia Cornwell and John Sandford and, seminars by a host of others, I feel qualified to give the first rule of murder investigation: It's always the husband/lover. This true crime book is a study in frustration. Why can't the West Valley Police ever make a move? Why do the police/attorneys want a perfect case before an arrest? Why don't agencies talk to each other? Why can evil, cunning, perverts thwart the good guys at every turn? Why can't some women stop believing they can change their husbands and protect themselves? Why can't life have the nicely orchestrated outcomes that my beloved mystery genre does?
After many years of training--from Nancy Drew to Erle Stanley Gardner to Mary Higgins Clark, with advanced training by Patricia Cornwell and John Sandford and, seminars by a host of others, I feel qualified to give the first rule of murder investigation: It's always the husband/lover. This true crime book is a study in frustration. Why can't the West Valley Police ever make a move? Why do the police/attorneys want a perfect case before an arrest? Why don't agencies talk to each other? Why can evil, cunning, perverts thwart the good guys at every turn? Why can't some women stop believing they can change their husbands and protect themselves? Why can't life have the nicely orchestrated outcomes that my beloved mystery genre does?
April 20, 2017
This book follows all the twists and turns of the Susan Powell disappearance and the fallout that occurred because of that. I fully admit that I was buried deep in grad school world when this happened, so I COMPLETELY missed all news stories about this at the time. So I genuinely had no idea where it was all going as I read it.
The writing is well-paced and sucks you in, with only a few flaws. For instance, the writers love doing something like this: "The police began to focus on Steve. They should have been focusing on Mike." Don't spoil it before you spoil it! At one point they also described one of the Powell brothers as having "Bipolar Schizophrenic Disorder" - whaaaaaaaaaaa? Other than that, it was a fast easy read, and I finished it 48 hours. The book doesn't try to answer why it happened or even what happened; it simply reports speculation of others and the scant evidence found by police. This might drive some people crazy and some people might really really appreciate it, depending on how they approach true crime.
The writing is well-paced and sucks you in, with only a few flaws. For instance, the writers love doing something like this: "The police began to focus on Steve. They should have been focusing on Mike." Don't spoil it before you spoil it! At one point they also described one of the Powell brothers as having "Bipolar Schizophrenic Disorder" - whaaaaaaaaaaa? Other than that, it was a fast easy read, and I finished it 48 hours. The book doesn't try to answer why it happened or even what happened; it simply reports speculation of others and the scant evidence found by police. This might drive some people crazy and some people might really really appreciate it, depending on how they approach true crime.
June 18, 2016
This gets 2 stars from me strictly for horrible writing & editing.
The storytelling was so bad! but the information itself was intriguing. We were all mesmerized by these events and there is lots of information in this book that I had never heard!!! Heartwrenching and sad ... and I wish so much that the boys could of been spared what happened to them in the end. ;(
The storytelling was so bad! but the information itself was intriguing. We were all mesmerized by these events and there is lots of information in this book that I had never heard!!! Heartwrenching and sad ... and I wish so much that the boys could of been spared what happened to them in the end. ;(
January 30, 2017
3.5
I had trouble getting into this book at the beginning finding it boring and dragging. Around the middle of the book it picked up speed and became harder to put down.
I had trouble getting into this book at the beginning finding it boring and dragging. Around the middle of the book it picked up speed and became harder to put down.
August 7, 2014
This was an interesting, but also very horrifying story about a marriage gone terribly wrong. Susan Powell disappeared in December 2009, and she nor her body have ever been found up to the present day. Her husband no doubt murdered her, and his family, a sick group of individuals except for the oldest daughter Jennifer, probably knew exactly what happened to her. Her husband, Josh Powell, killed himself and his five and seven year old sons, when he learned that custody of the boys was probably going to be taken from him. He hit the two boys on their heads with an ax and then poured gasoline on himself and them, and blew up his home, killing all three of them. The boys were still alive when that happened. Another brother, Mike, who was probably involved in the disposal of Susan's body, committed suicide not too long afterwards. The father of the Powell children is a sick, perverted sex offender, and is no doubt largely to blame for his dysfunctional family.
This story actually sickened me; the many details in it are almost too much to take in. I found myself feeling much empathy for Susan's family, the Cox's, and how they to this day have had no closure as to what happened to their daughter.
This story actually sickened me; the many details in it are almost too much to take in. I found myself feeling much empathy for Susan's family, the Cox's, and how they to this day have had no closure as to what happened to their daughter.
September 11, 2018
This book scared me, but not for the reasons one might think. Susan Powell went missing. She left behind two young sons and her husband, who as this book carefully lays out is most likely responsible for her murder. Two years later, a still free but under investigation Josh, murders his sons then kills himself. As horrific as all this is - and it is gut wrenchingly horrific - a man killing his family and himself is common enough that it isn't in your face scary. What is scary is how much evidence the police had that Josh and possibly some of his relatives (father, brother, sister?) were responsible for Susan's disappearance/murder yet didn't arrest him. Lots of evidence. Yes, most was circumstantial as her body has never been found, but so much that it just doesn't make sense why he was never charged leaving him free to kill his children. Scary rage in 3...2...1...
Overall, Gregg Olsen's true crime work reads flat - at least the few I've read. This is no exception. I read this for the case rather than the author. There were some interesting aspects to why Susan stayed with Josh (her Mormon faith) and the reactions of his family that could have made this so much better had it been explored with more depth.
Overall, Gregg Olsen's true crime work reads flat - at least the few I've read. This is no exception. I read this for the case rather than the author. There were some interesting aspects to why Susan stayed with Josh (her Mormon faith) and the reactions of his family that could have made this so much better had it been explored with more depth.
February 5, 2015
What an incredible story...the in depth story of the disappearance of Susan Powell, why her husband was "a person of interest", how the legal system failed her two sons, brutally killed by their father and how one family fought to find their daughter who married into a family of psychologically damaged people that protected their own. Steve Powell was sexually obsessed with his daughter-in-law and his family protected him. He and his son worked to denigrate the character of Susan before her family, her children and whoever would listen. Josh Powell, married to the woman of his father's fantasies continually denied a problem. A woman is gone and her family has little hope of finding her, dead or alive. Her sons cruelly killed by their father so that her parents couldn't have them...a truly tragic tale that shows how evil can exist.
June 11, 2014
I rated this book 4 stars and not 5, not because I didn't find it absolutely compelling, but because I was really frustrated with the ending. Not the book ending, the story's ending.
This was a sad, SAD story, I couldn't put the book down because I was hoping to find some closure for that poor family. The role of the police in this crime is unbelievable, they could have prevented Josh's heinous crime and save those poor kids.
The book was really well written and researched.
June 2, 2015
I bought this book because during a recent book fair, I listened to a panel of true crime writers, including Rebecca Morris. I can't imagine there is anyone who hasn't heard of this case. It is well written and I found it hard to put down. It's a sad story, heartbreaking, really. It's also sickening and horrifying at times. It left me sad, wishing things had not turned out the way they did!
July 3, 2016
Fantastic and horrifying. I had only heard a little about this case, and the entire story as presented here was very well done. Not light, happy, fun reading, but if you love true crime you will love it.
July 22, 2016
I do not know why I wanted to read this. I sort of regret it, but now I know that true crime is best left to Wikipedia entries for me.
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