Your Mind Is What Your Brain Does for a Living: Learn How to Make It Work for You

by Steven Jay Fogel, Mark Rosin

Your default programming—the automatic choices all of us make in life without even noticing—can sabotage you, but you can learn to interrupt your self-defeating behavior and make better choices. Steven J. Fogel shares what scientists have discovered about your ability to “rewire” your brain to act in ways that will make you happier and offers sage advice about how to resolve long-term dysfunctional relationships that are causing you stress, frustration, and pain. Put the past where it belongs—in the past. Be mindful, live in the present, and lead a fulfilling life full of possibilities!

Genres: Health, Nonfiction, Self Help, Psychology, Personal Growth

288 pages, Paperback

First published March 6, 2014

About the author

I am an author, entrepreneur, business owner, and professional real estate investor. My official bio, from my publisher:

Steven Jay Fogel set a goal of becoming a millionaire by the time he was 30. He achieved his objective and was proud of his success, living the lifestyle he’d always dreamed of. He had a talent for making and keeping money.

But his happiness was fleeting. He soon found that the old line “Money can’t buy happiness” was true—and the joke was on him!

At 26, he had a lovely home, a wife and, soon, kids. At 36, he came home every night to a Hollywood mansion, a picture-perfect family and all the things he’d thought he was supposed to have. He was outgoing, good at telling jokes and stories, and usually had a smile on his face.

But no matter how much he accomplished—how much he had—he never felt truly happy for long.

For the past 35 years, he’s been searching for answers to the psychological and spiritual mysteries of life. He engaged in every method for self-transformation that came across his path, hoping to find the antidote to his emotional pain. He became a painter and a writer; took up music, acting and standup comedy; and produced independent films, in addition to running his company.

What was missing was a sense of purpose to his life.

Then, after many years of searching for it, his purpose came to him: to share the self-transformation techniques he’d learned on his search in order to help others relieve their unnecessary pain and get out of their self-imposed straitjackets.

Steve Fogel is a principal and cofounder of Westwood Financial Corp., one of the largest owner-operators of retail properties in the United States with a portfolio of over 93 shopping centers in 23 metropolitan markets worth over one billion dollars. He is a licensed real estate broker and past chairman of the California Arts Council.

He is the author of My Mind Is Not Always My Friend: A Guide for How to Not Get in Your Own Way (Fresh River Press, 2010); The Yes-I-Can Guide to Mastering Real Estate (Times Books-Random House); and Your Mind Is What Your Brain Does for a Living: Learn How to Make it Work for You (Greenleaf Book Group Press, March 2014).

Reviews

[GONZA · Rating 3 out of 5]

Manual that mixes the theories of transactional analysis, cognitive behavioral therapy and schema therapy to resolve then the problems related to childhood trauma and of the script beliefs through Mindfulness. Very interesting, except that at times I found it a bit simplistic and as a psychotherapist I can say that several of the resolutions put in place by the author would not have been just as easy and quick if not mediated by psychotherapy, which remains, in my opinion, a conditio sine qua non.

Manuale che mischia le teorie dell'Analisi Transazionale, della terapia cognitivo-comportamentale e della Schema Therapy per risolvere poi i problemi legati ad i traumi infantili ed alle convinzioni di copione attraverso la Mindfullness. Molto interessante, se non fosse che a tratti l'ho trovato un po' semplicistico e da psicoterapeuta posso dire che parecchie delle risoluzioni messe in atto dall'autore non sarebbero state altrettanto facili e rapide se non mediate dalla psicoterapia, che resta, a mio modo di vedere, una conditio sine qua non.

THANKS TO NETGALLEY AND GREENLEAF BOOK GROUP FOR THE PREVIEW!

[Kim · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book was alright. I was torn, because when I read the description, it felt like it would be a self-help type book. If it was written as a memoir, I think I would've enjoyed it more. It was written as if what helped him could help everyone, when he found this path of self-discovery through the guidance of lots of counseling and connecting his own childhood experiences. I did enjoy how he connected past childhood events to who we've become, and I did recognize a lot of my automatic reactions stemming from childhood experiences. I will say it was eye opening and did help me not only recognize my own programming, but also insights in how to be a better parent. If you are searching for ways to reprogram your mind, I think this would be a good read, but I wouldn't recommend relying on it solely, as his methods might not apply to everyone and some experiences will be best helped through proper counseling.

[Angela Street · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is an extremely good book that explores how our present behavior is impacted by traumas and events that happened in childhood. The author explores how we often react in a dysfunctional manner in the present due to "tapes" that play in our head that are left over from past events. He discussed brain research and how to reprogram your brain and which areas develop during various stages of childhood. Each chapter has exercises to do to practice mindfulness which is a way to force your thoughts and reactions into the present. I really liked the last chapter that talked about some very specific ways to be more mindful. My only negative is that the book was wordy at times but overall it was chock full of excellent information and I would recommend this.

[Toni · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is one of those books that you need to read once and then go back and employ all the different exercises. I think that adding a journal with this book would be key. There are a ton of great insights here. It is like a guidebook to life and how to get more out of it. I came away understanding so much more than I thought I would.

My favorite part was about how we can be a frog in hot water. I know that really applied to me personally. I would recommend this to anyone who is interested in learning more about how our brains work for and against us. Definitely a powerhouse book. Check this one out.

I received this as an ARC (Advanced Reader Copy) from NetGalley in return for an honest review. I thank NetGalley, the publisher and the author for allowing me to read this title.

[Ramya Sainath · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book says the same thing over and over again. I expected too much reading the title. But disappointed. Few chapters on neuroscience is ok. Otherwise it gets too repetitive.

[Cal · Rating 3 out of 5]

“What You Need to Know to Create a Happier Life” is the subtitle of this book. I must first say that unless you take this book seriously and apply it to your life, your life won't exactly be happier. After reading it, I wasn't any happier, but my eyes were definitely opened. This book was enjoyable and a great tool in helping me understand myself and also understand others. The book provides a lot of information and knowledge as to how one can improve their life and make their mind function in a more positive way.

Part one of the book is titled, “The Past: An Illuminating Place to Visit, but You Don’t Want to Live There.” I have always wondered why some people would act certain ways and have such negative attitudes. After I read part one, I had a better understanding of why certain people are the way they are. I understand that their childhood has affected their behavior as adults. I am now able to be more compassionate towards those people and not form judgments against them.

Part two of this book is titled, “The Mind and the Brain: Why Your Machinery Works the Way It Does and How Your Brain Allows You to Change.” I was able to learn a significant amount of information about my brain and mind from this section. These chapters teach the reader about themselves and their behavior. I learned why I would react inappropriately in certain situations and how I can stop myself from acting in such a way. The reader will learn to recognize beliefs about themselves and the world that keep them stuck in their old ways of behaving and thinking. The chapters in this section provide information that is essential to change the wiring of the brain. I found this section very fascinating and important.

Part three is titled, “Frog in Hot Water: Long-Term Patterns That Create Frustration and Suffering and How to Break Them.” I love how he uses the analogy of a frog in hot water. If someone were to put a frog in a heating pan of water, it would remain there until it died from the heat instead of jumping out. Fogel goes into detail about how people can be the same way. I came to realize that there are reasons why I resist change. I thought Fogel did a good job helping the reader realize why they may not want to change. He also offers ways to help the reader change and provides a lot of eye-opening information.

Part Four of the book addresses tools and techniques for a happier, healthier life. Fogel provides exercises for decreasing anxiety, increasing gratitude, mindfulness, loving-kindness, and well-being. The techniques are really awesome and were very helpful. He encourages the reader to create their own “pages of wisdom.” These pages can provide any advice or wisdom you would give yourself and are to be referred to again and again. Pages of wisdom are important in the journey to mindful awareness.

This book is an informational book, so there is no characterization.

The book is set in present time for the readers of today.

The main theme of this book is for the reader to realize that they have the ability to change the way their brain is wired. The reader will learn to self-improve and become more mindful of themselves and others. Though we all have this ability, it takes a lot of commitment and hard work.

I would recommend this book to anyone with a reading ability at or above a high school level. The content of this book and the author’s style of writing may be difficult for younger audiences to read.

[Writing Goddess · Rating 4 out of 5]

...in general, the machinery hears and sees what it expects to hear and see and we believe that what we're seeing and hearing is accurate, even though the "sender" may be intending an entirely different message.

Such misinterpretations often result in our machinery's getting activated - going on full battle alert - which makes us respond as if our life is being threatened, whether that threat is real or imaginary.

This book is an excellent tool for those seeking to change habits of thoughts and behaviors, who get squicked out by anything that sounds too woo-woo New Age-y. It's a blend of cognitive behavior therapy, transactional analysis, and schema therapy, wrapped in the language of computer programming and mechanical devices.

This book is not and CANNOT be the only tool in the toolbox for someone seeking to enact change in his life. Just as there are many things you can do with a hammer, but you will still need screwdrivers, levels, tape measures, etc., so a person needing to make change will also need professional mental health guidance, which is touched upon, but IMO, somewhat minimized here.

The language is simplistic and repetitive at times. And because neither the writer nor co-writer are mental health professionals, the personal examples boil down to... the author's, unlike other books I've read by therapists which use examples from many different patients. So you may either "connect" with the author, or feel his experiences are nothing like yours, and you may tune out.

My favorite parts include:

An event occurs and our minds interpret the event to mean that something is wrong; then our minds draw a lesson from it about how we should act in the future, and the lesson becomes part of our programming.

A terminal relationship is characterized by these three qualities:
1. Both parties are not having their needs met.
2. Both parties are in pain.
3. Both parties have no way of resolving conflicts between them.

A fulfilling relationship is characterized by these three opposite qualities:
1. Both parties are having their needs met.
2. Both parties enjoy the relationship.
3. Both parties can resolve their conflicts.

It's certainly worth adding to your "healthy brain reprogramming" shelf, if you have one.

[Beverly Diehl · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5 stars. Sometimes we have our wires crossed.

...in general, the machinery hears and sees what it expects to hear and see and we believe that what we're seeing and hearing is accurate, even though the "sender" may be intending an entirely different message.

Such misinterpretations often result in our machinery's getting activated - going on full battle alert - which makes us respond as if our life is being threatened, whether that threat is real or imaginary.

This book is an excellent tool for those seeking to change habits of thoughts and behaviors, who get squicked out by anything that sounds too woo-woo New Age-y. Wrapped in the language of computer programming and mechanical devices, it's a blend of cognitive behavior therapy, transactional analysis, and schema therapy.

I received a free ARC of this book via Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.

This book is not and CANNOT be the only tool in the toolbox for someone seeking to enact change in his life. Just as there are many things you can do with a hammer, but you still need screwdrivers, levels, tape measures, etc., so a person needing to make change will also need professional mental health guidance, which is touched upon, but IMO, glossed over here.

The language is simplistic and repetitive at times. While it didn't make me run screaming from it, it also did not have me racing to read the next chapter. And because neither the writer nor co-writer are mental health professionals, the personal examples boil down to... the author's, unlike other books I've read by therapists which use examples from many different patients. So you may either connect with the author, or feel his experiences are nothing like yours, and you may tune out.

There are many excellent nuggets of wisdom about the way we can run on "automatic pilot" instead of REALLY hearing and seeing what is around us. It's certainly worth adding to your "healthy brain reprogramming" shelf, if you have one.

[Chris Torretta · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is chock full of real information. If you're looking for a ton of (over my head) science then this may not be for you, but if you want a practical, thought provoking book that you can actually understand, then this is totally for you!

Let's be honest, changing how you think can be an arduous task. I started doing this on my own just about four years ago. It was very difficult and to this day I still have to work at it. This book makes it look so easy. And honestly, I loved this from the get go. I was able to look at my life right away and think about the scenarios that are in this and apply them. Even as easy as it is to read it is still full of info so I had to take it in chunks. Actually it has so much info that I will probably re-read it. Especially since I normally read a book in a few days and I made sure to read this one slowly, and again in bits. And it is a bit simplistic so it may not take you long at all to read this.

I also really enjoyed the fact that once I read something I felt that I could easily discuss this info with other people. I've read some books where I had to read one chapter over and over again just to get the concept inserted into my brain. And again, Mr. Fogel talks about his own therapy which to me means so much. We all have some issues in our life and he's willing to help us face those issues head on and work through them.

As I said, a bit simplistic but will be perfect for someone that isn't looking for the science behind the brain but how to stop your brain from beating you up! And that in itself makes this book awesome!

[Sandra · Rating 3 out of 5]

Steven Jay Fogel's book started off well, so well that I considered suggesting my husband read it to help me understand his compulsion to overdo taking care of those around him. But as I continued reading, the message became repetitive rather than clearer, and Fogel's use of his own terminology, annoying. For example, in Chapter 14 he says, "Although it's clear that my programming's avoidance techniques are self-defeating, when my machinery and programming are running on automatic pilot, I don't see the consequences clearly. Even if I glimpse them, if i remain on automatic pilot I allow my dysfunctionsl programming to run me." Lots of words to say that my unconscious mind is often in control of my behavior and reactions unless I choose to consciously question my motivation and intention to discover more positive options. And translating his terms - programming, automatic pilot, identify, Operating Principles, Guiding Principles, act, myth, shadow self, frog-i -hot-water - became work, not clarification. In the end, I realized that if I suggested my husband read this book, he might throw it at me if he made it to the half way point. And I no longer care what that means about his programming, machinery, or Operating Principles.

[Heath Henwood · Rating 2 out of 5]

Your Mind Is What Your Brain Does for a Living
Learn How to Make It Work For You
Steven Jay Fogel and Mark Rosin
Greenleaf Book Group Press

The concept of the book is good, but it is let down with a lack of detail, and lacks the documentation to be consider a valid text. It is part manual that looks at the theories of cognitive behavioural therapy to resolve problems.

Each chapter has some discussion questions to help the reader reflect on topics. The book discusses the authors own testimony, but not over the top as some books do. The book is easy to read, but a bit repetitive at times.

Overall, people will read the book because of their desire to improve, however I didn’t feel that it was either educational or life changing.

[Lauri Rottmayer · Rating 3 out of 5]

I think I may have expected something different from this book but it was interesting.

The author lays out his theory and background research for why he believes that the brain can be reprogrammed to get you past childhood hurts. You just have to be aware and stop the machinery.

I am a big believer that the way we think affects the outcome of our lives. There are exercises throughout the book to put into practice what the author is describing and to bring you to the point of a better life.

I think this would be a good book for someone who is ready to do some introspection to find ways to change their life for the better.

[Dawn-Lorraine · Rating 3 out of 5]

I'm typically not into "self-help" books, but this one sounded interesting. The idea of breaking away from the default programming of your brain is fascinating. The author provides a lot of detail without getting overly scientific about things. He uses analogies from his own childhood and how he was able to break his personal cycle. Each chapter contains exercises for the reader that build on one another as the book progresses. I think this could be an insightful read for those new to this version of therapy who aren't looking to slog through a lot of scientific data.

[Kirsti Call · Rating 3 out of 5]

Thanks to netgalley for a preview of this book! As a marriage and family therapist, I thought I'd love this book. This is the type of book that I love reading after all. I found this book to be just ok. I guess I was expecting more science and less memoir. There's a lot of good stuff in this book that will get you thinking, but some of the exercises need to be moderated by a good therapist. I believe in good therapy after all!

[Pam Thomas · Rating 5 out of 5]

really loved this book and all the information contained init, explains in great detail about how we can create a happier life, changing your inner world by learning ways to work for us instead of against us. A journey of life balancing mind and body and spirit by doing only things which give you inner peace, understanding how the mind works and making choices with mindful awareness, a key to self transformation by changing the way you think and act.

[Becky · Rating 2 out of 5]

Read the last section, part IV, Tools and Techniques for a happier, healthier life. It contains the most applicable information. This author fills most of the other pages discussing his childhood, how his brain was programmed, and how that affected the rest of his life. The tools and techniques assist in reprogramming your brain.
Happy Reading!

[Heather · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book had some interesting information about the mind, but it lacked substance. There was not enough detail in the author's explanations of how the brain and mind work together. Overall, not a bad read.

[Cathleen · Rating 3 out of 5]

I received an ARC copy of this book from the Publisher and Author through Net Galley in exchange for my review.

This was an interesting read, that was informative and thought provoking. I wish the authors had written in more detail when explaining how the brain works.

[Michelle · Rating 3 out of 5]

Overall a good read, with nice practical exercises at the end of each chapter. The main issue I had with this book was that it felt very repetitive throughout.

[Melissa · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5⭐️ - interesting look at how the subconscious mind can control our behavior without us even being aware it is happening.