How Not to Marry the Wrong Guy: Is He "The One" or Should You Run? a Guide to Living Happily Ever After

by Anne Milford, Jennifer Gauvain

Don't walk down that aisle until you read this book! Whether you're engaged, in a serious relationship, or looking for Mr. Right, How Not to Marry the Wrong Guy can help you decide to take the plunge or run in the opposite direction.
Anne Milford canceled her wedding five months before the big day. It was a heart-wrenching decision, but one she has never regretted as she is now happily married with three children. On telling her story, she realized her qualms were remarkably common. That too many brides - she learned later from hundreds of interviews - were staying in mediocre or bad relationships for all the wrong reasons. Women who felt they'd already "put in too much time to quit now," or that if they got married, "he'd change." Co-author and social worker Jennifer Gauvain has counseled too many women to count who are in the same awful predicament.
How Not to Marry the Wrong Guy will help readers listen to their guts, pay attention to those red flags, and get out before saying "I do," when their heart is screaming "I don't!" "From the Trade Paperback edition."

Genres: Relationships, Nonfiction, Self Help

ebook

First published January 1, 2009

Reviews

[Bibliophaerie · Rating 5 out of 5]

To me this book is the objective best friend/mom/aunt who tells it like it is, even if you don't want to hear it. For any woman who thought they had to change a guy or hope he'll come around - you must read this! While aimed primarily at women who are engaged and having severe cold feet, it's also a real eye-opener for women who are contemplating marriage or simply in a relationship that leaves them with doubts or concerns. My favorite advice is about trusting your gut and paying attention to red flags, some of which aren't as obvious you think. It also has something you rarely see - lists of qualities that make a guy a good husband and advice from women in both unhappy and happy marriages. It's a refreshing break from the Industrial Wedding Complex that is thrust in women's faces on a daily basis and reminds us that there is more to marriage than just a pretty party.

[Farheen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Where are all these women that shared their stories?! We all need to go out for a drink.

[Casey · Rating 4 out of 5]

I originally decided to check out this book because I thought the title and cover were funny. I didn't expect to get past the first few pages, really, but the introduction totally intrigued me!

The authors interviewed numerous women from varying backgrounds asking them to give advice to other women on how not to make the mistakes they did. So the book is filled with snippets and stories from women who have been through bad relationships and marriages, giving the reader a good idea of how to recognize "red flags." It also serves the purpose of letting the reader know she's not alone in her situation. The book's objective is to help women recognize unhealthy relationships, and to realize that although it is hard to break it off, it will only get worse if it's allowed to continue.

I personally am in a very satisfying relationship, but I still feel as though I learned from this book. At the very least, the various anecdotes given within have helped me realize why it's possible for so many women to stay in relationships they know aren't good for them. (It also helps confirm for me the healthiness of my own relationship.) Regardless of one's relationship status, I would recommend this book to anyone who is interested in the psychology behind bad relationships, or anyone who wonders why the divorce rate is so high in this country.

[Maureen · Rating 1 out of 5]

I expected more from this book...I didn't get as much out of it as it talks about people who get engaged not wanting to married and it's not cold feet. They are forcing themselves to marry. I think it could have delved more into the reasons psychologically and help individuals know themselves better before jumping into such a huge commitment.

[Sally · Rating 3 out of 5]

I bought this book when I just broke up with my ex boyfriend. The decision to split was not mine but his. So I needed a book to make me feel better and be thankful for the separation (because everyone keep telling me that he was a loser). But since I was so focus to recover from the broken heart by distracting myself with so many activities (like traveling, shopping, going to the gym), I didn't get to read this book until recently when I am already in a relationship with a great guy (at least that is what everyone seem to think).

So from the view point of me who got out of 7 years relationship with the wrong guy and are currently in love with the new guy, this book is used as my check list whether the current guy is the right guy.

There were so many useful advice given by this book, but based on my own experience, I know women are all master of seeing the positive side in her man. Despite 9 billion obvious fault, if there is only 1 positive side, then woman will think he is not that bad. But actually he is THAT BAD.

I love that there are so many true story shared by many woman even the author. I like how this book try to comfort reader who might have cold feet and reassure them that it's okay to lose a few thousand dollar rather than risk losing more than that in a divorce.

I would recommend this book to anyone who want to get married. This book is not to scare all the brides and groom, but rather to convince them whether they are ready to get married and whether they are the perfect match for each other. If anyone scared to read this book because they are afraid they might be influenced to runaway from the wedding, then there might be something wrong with the relationship.

[**Carla** · Rating 3 out of 5]

I won this book in a book give away. I got it in the mail about 4 days ago and today I had a day with nothing on my to do list so I sat out back and read it. I actually sat and read the whole book in one sitting.

So this book is to help women determine if they are in the right relationship for them and if they really want to marry their guy or if they should dump them/call off the wedding.
I believe this book would be of great help to women who are already married too. I myself am married and as I read through the book I found myself evaluating my relationship with my husband from the time we started dating til the present ( we have been together 8 years and married for 2 of them).
This book was great for getting into the details that you can't over look when you are with someone and the idea of spending the rest of your life with them comes up. the book have many great tips and a lot of real life examples.
The book have 5 main key points that make up the 5 parts of the book: How not to DATE the wrong guy; How not to get ENGAGED to the wrong guy; How not to MARRY the wrong guy; How to BREAK UP with the wrong guy; and last How to FIND the RIGHT guy.

Each section gives quotes from real people who have been in the situation and have gotten out of the wrong relationships and started a new better life.

I would recommend this book for woman to read whether they are looking for a relationship, have a boyfriend, have a fiance or even married.

[Michelle · Rating 2 out of 5]

A couple things:

There were a lot of first-hand accounts, which was fine up to a point, but which got tedious pretty quickly. More than a page of testimonials at a time is too much; I wound up skipping most of the vignettes because they were repetitive.

The chapter on how the Internet can ruin one's relationship was really out of date, especially for a book published so recently (2010). The book presumes that most women met their boyfriends/husbands through traditional, in-person means, and assumes that social networking sites will cause massive rifts. (It also assumed that the woman could not trust her partner when it came to social networking, and advised against doing too much checking up on him vis-a-vis FaceBook.) It struck me as very out of date, and even cliche-ridden, in this capacity.

It struck me as sad that apparently so many women don't find it acceptable or justifiable to call off their wedding if they know ahead of time that they're marrying the wrong person.

[Cara · Rating 3 out of 5]

I felt that this book was really accessible. I've read other books and articles about red flags and the like, towards the end of an abusive relationship and after finally getting out, so it wasn't exactly new information for me, but I liked the way this was presented because I think women who maybe aren't already aware that the man they're dating might not be right for them wouldn't outright reject what this book was saying the way they may reject other, less delicately presented, information. I also liked the way the book encouraged women not to feel bad if they do decide to end these wrong relationships, because I know when I was getting out of that abusive relationship I was still so mentally messed up that I genuinely thought that things were my fault, or it was my fault for leaving or something. Clearly time has helped me to gain perspective, but this book offers some perspective in a nice easy-to-read package. Yeah, a bit fluffy, and not exactly new info, but I actually think it would be a good resource for many women looking to evaluate their current or past relationships.

[Alisa · Rating 3 out of 5]

I found this book on Goodreads First Reads Giveaway.. I didnt win it but it looked interesting enough so I read it. I thought that this book was going to be funny and light but instead it ended up being a sort of how-to book on how to know if the person you are engaged to or dating is truly the one for you. It gives signs to look for that they call "Red Flags" in the relationships, signs that are pretty much screaming at you to get out and get out now but because you want to get married you arent paying too much attention to it. I liked it, I just thought it was something else..lol.. plus.. when I looked at the flags and realized that my last relationship was FILLED with them...lol... I was glad I got out.

[Shirin Abdel Rahman · Rating 4 out of 5]

It is not about how to get a BF/Husband, actually it is about how to leave the wrong one , how to avoid divorce and heartbreak when marrying the wrong guy.
Drop dead romance when it comes to looking for a husband since marriage has nothing to do with big parties or your dream wedding dress,the author states many aspects to look for when you look for a long term partner such as socioeconomic differences and what kind of husband do you need in order to have the kind of marriage you want.
Marriage is not lovely dovey like romantic movies portrays ,it is miserable unless you find the right person.
bottom line:
1-Date a man who treats you with respect.
fall in love with a man who respects all the women in his life.
Seek a man who does not just talk the talk but walks the walk.

[Amanda Croley · Rating 2 out of 5]

I won this book in one of the goodreads giveaway's. It talks about the importance of following one's gut, and watching for the red flags. The personal stories from women whom were interviewed were interesting. I think this book would be helpful to any woman whether single, dating, engaged or married. I hate to say that I quit reading half way through, because the thoughts and idea's presented were redundant. It still had an important message that could be useful to any woman.

[Sasha · Rating 3 out of 5]

Sometimes it seems as though they stated the obvious but maybe women really need to see things in "black-and-white" to see outside of their own situation. I like Alex's (best friend) advice..."Just marry me.." :)

[Brooke · Rating 2 out of 5]

I read some article online about the authors of this book and decided to check it out. The advice was fine, pretty common sense. I think the concept is great, but the advice gets redundant.

[Ctny · Rating 3 out of 5]

I wasn't taught how to really build a healthy relationship or work towards marriage, so this book gave me some great concepts to ponder.

[Kelly · Rating 2 out of 5]

I could've written this one.....