What do you think?
Rate this book
Twin Stars and a Mother from Mars: Heartache and Joy in an IVF World
In the beginning, there were two. Somewhere in the middle, she felt like she was the only one on the planet. In the end, was her heart complete?
Once you're on, it's difficult to get off, and when Tru Spencer found herself on the IVF merry-go-round it seemed as though life had temporarily come to a grinding halt. The conflict between lonely isolation and excited hope was exhausting, and the up and down range of emotions she was willing to endure astonished even her. When her wildest dream was confirmed she thought she could relax, but the nature of that dream meant the battle was only half-won. Her reserves of strength were needed right until the end - would her twin stars finally shine?
Once you're on, it's difficult to get off, and when Tru Spencer found herself on the IVF merry-go-round it seemed as though life had temporarily come to a grinding halt. The conflict between lonely isolation and excited hope was exhausting, and the up and down range of emotions she was willing to endure astonished even her. When her wildest dream was confirmed she thought she could relax, but the nature of that dream meant the battle was only half-won. Her reserves of strength were needed right until the end - would her twin stars finally shine?
282 pages, Paperback
First published October 11, 2013
18 people want to read
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 3 of 3 reviews
December 30, 2013
Before anyone jumps to the wrong conclusions, I was sent a free review copy of this book, rather than because I'm investigating IVF! Having said that, it's a subject that I did have cause to be interested in personally years ago, and so I understood where the author was coming from in needing to write this book.
It's a well-written, coherent and detailed account of her personal experience of three rounds of IVF, resulting, fortunately, in the birth of healthy twins. (I don't think that's a plot spoiler as it's already in the title and blurb!) She says she is a very private person, so it must have taken huge courage and conviction to share such personal information with the world at large.
It must be stressed this is a personal account by a non-medical person and only conveys what were the right decisions for the author - e.g. switching clinics and methods part-way through her journey, and going private.
I think this would be a compelling and invaluable read for anyone who is either considering IVF themselves, already embarked on it, or who knows someone else going through the process. It makes it very clear that it involves not just an incredibly complex medical procedure that takes over your whole life for months at a time, but also a huge strain emotionally and mentally. Tru Spencer was one of the lucky ones - she ended up with the family that she yearned for. Many don't. I think it's also important for people considering IVF, especially at their own vast expense, that it isn't a guaranteed fix, and it would have been entirely possible for this story to have ended in continuing childlessness.
It would be a good idea for anyone contemplating undergoing IVF to read this book first, to decide whether they have the stamina for it - and to be clear that there is absolutely no shame in deciding that this highly interventional process is not for you.
It would also be a good idea for medical staff working in this area to read this personal account, to help them understand more clearly exactly what it feels like, physically, mentally and emotionally, to be the patient - too easy to forget, as Tru's experience indicates, when administering IVF is simply your daily routine.
By the way, I love the fact that this book has a light, pretty, non-threatening, non-medical cover in the colours of sugared almonds - it's almost like a recommended decorating theme for the nursery. A nice, optimistic, gentle touch.
It's a well-written, coherent and detailed account of her personal experience of three rounds of IVF, resulting, fortunately, in the birth of healthy twins. (I don't think that's a plot spoiler as it's already in the title and blurb!) She says she is a very private person, so it must have taken huge courage and conviction to share such personal information with the world at large.
It must be stressed this is a personal account by a non-medical person and only conveys what were the right decisions for the author - e.g. switching clinics and methods part-way through her journey, and going private.
I think this would be a compelling and invaluable read for anyone who is either considering IVF themselves, already embarked on it, or who knows someone else going through the process. It makes it very clear that it involves not just an incredibly complex medical procedure that takes over your whole life for months at a time, but also a huge strain emotionally and mentally. Tru Spencer was one of the lucky ones - she ended up with the family that she yearned for. Many don't. I think it's also important for people considering IVF, especially at their own vast expense, that it isn't a guaranteed fix, and it would have been entirely possible for this story to have ended in continuing childlessness.
It would be a good idea for anyone contemplating undergoing IVF to read this book first, to decide whether they have the stamina for it - and to be clear that there is absolutely no shame in deciding that this highly interventional process is not for you.
It would also be a good idea for medical staff working in this area to read this personal account, to help them understand more clearly exactly what it feels like, physically, mentally and emotionally, to be the patient - too easy to forget, as Tru's experience indicates, when administering IVF is simply your daily routine.
By the way, I love the fact that this book has a light, pretty, non-threatening, non-medical cover in the colours of sugared almonds - it's almost like a recommended decorating theme for the nursery. A nice, optimistic, gentle touch.
February 21, 2014
I read Twin Stars and a Mother from Mars when I was 37 weeks pregnant following a fourth cycle of IVF, so it was an emotional read to say the least. Tru Spencer writes honestly and openly about her experience of IVF and her subsequent twin pregnancy, and while it was a story that I could relate to on many levels, it also made me realise how different and precarious every IVF journey can be. Not everyone is fortunate enough to be blessed with the happy outcome that Tru and I have had.
I appreciated the way Tru Spencer chose to write her story using a diary format enabling the reader to follow the many downs and occasional highs that occurred over the years Tru and her husband were trying for a family. IVF is financially, emotionally and physically draining and the often negative tone showed a true reflection of this and took me right back to the many difficult times my husband and I have been through over the past few years. However, Twin Stars is far from all doom and gloom. Admittedly I did have a box of tissues on hand and found certain aspects of the story particularly difficult to read purely because I had been through the exact same emotions myself not so long ago, yet despite everything the story was tinged with hope and was incredibly emotional and wonderfully satisfying.
Twin Stars and a Mother from Mars is a worthwhile read for anyone thinking about IVF, about to embark on their first sniff of nasal spray, in the middle of treatment, or who has already been through the trauma of one or multiple rounds of treatment. Although everyone’s experience of infertility and IVF will be different, it can be unbelievably isolating and Tru’s story will make you feel that you’re not alone and that there’s always hope even at the darkest of times. It’s both a heartbreaking and beautiful account of one couple’s journey to achieve their dream of having a family, or in Tru’s case, twin stars.
I appreciated the way Tru Spencer chose to write her story using a diary format enabling the reader to follow the many downs and occasional highs that occurred over the years Tru and her husband were trying for a family. IVF is financially, emotionally and physically draining and the often negative tone showed a true reflection of this and took me right back to the many difficult times my husband and I have been through over the past few years. However, Twin Stars is far from all doom and gloom. Admittedly I did have a box of tissues on hand and found certain aspects of the story particularly difficult to read purely because I had been through the exact same emotions myself not so long ago, yet despite everything the story was tinged with hope and was incredibly emotional and wonderfully satisfying.
Twin Stars and a Mother from Mars is a worthwhile read for anyone thinking about IVF, about to embark on their first sniff of nasal spray, in the middle of treatment, or who has already been through the trauma of one or multiple rounds of treatment. Although everyone’s experience of infertility and IVF will be different, it can be unbelievably isolating and Tru’s story will make you feel that you’re not alone and that there’s always hope even at the darkest of times. It’s both a heartbreaking and beautiful account of one couple’s journey to achieve their dream of having a family, or in Tru’s case, twin stars.
February 14, 2014
I highly recommend this warm and detailed personal account.
This lovely book spans nearly four years, during which Tru Spencer and her husband put normal life on hold in their quest for parenthood.
Most of their bumpy IVF journey is written as a diary, so it's a detailed personal account of their ups and downs, some of which are frankly harrowing. While assisted fertility is routine for those providing it, it's anything but to those going through treatment. If you read this book, you soon realise you're not alone in having to cope with stress, hope, despair, spiralling expense, the effect on the rest of the family (including your own parents), the impact on work, and above all the helplessness that comes with the process.
Making babies is a gamble for anyone, but especially for those having fertility treatment. By the time they get to IVF, most people are well-established in their careers and used to being in control. It's hard to lose this and face the unknown, as the author explains so well.
This book would be most useful for anyone having fertility treatment. In fact they should probably know something about the emotional fallout before they embark on treatment. As a doctor, I think it would also be a useful resource for health care professionals and medical students.
It's not a medical book but there are a few helpful references. Just one note of caution: don't assume that everything Tru went through will happen to you (though it may, because life's like that).
Like the rest of the book, the end is hair-raising but left me with a warm glow. I love a happy ending.
This lovely book spans nearly four years, during which Tru Spencer and her husband put normal life on hold in their quest for parenthood.
Most of their bumpy IVF journey is written as a diary, so it's a detailed personal account of their ups and downs, some of which are frankly harrowing. While assisted fertility is routine for those providing it, it's anything but to those going through treatment. If you read this book, you soon realise you're not alone in having to cope with stress, hope, despair, spiralling expense, the effect on the rest of the family (including your own parents), the impact on work, and above all the helplessness that comes with the process.
Making babies is a gamble for anyone, but especially for those having fertility treatment. By the time they get to IVF, most people are well-established in their careers and used to being in control. It's hard to lose this and face the unknown, as the author explains so well.
This book would be most useful for anyone having fertility treatment. In fact they should probably know something about the emotional fallout before they embark on treatment. As a doctor, I think it would also be a useful resource for health care professionals and medical students.
It's not a medical book but there are a few helpful references. Just one note of caution: don't assume that everything Tru went through will happen to you (though it may, because life's like that).
Like the rest of the book, the end is hair-raising but left me with a warm glow. I love a happy ending.
Displaying 1 - 3 of 3 reviews