Life, Everlasting

by C.D. Loza

When Peter woke up, he had no memory of his life. He didn’t even know his name or what part of the world he was. Until he met Zarath, who jugged his memory and made him remember in the strangest of ways. From being sucked into a book to repossessing his old body and his old life, Peter was made to remember everything that has happened until the very end. But that end was just the beginning. A beginning that would take him beyond his wildest imagination of what life, no matter how lost, could still be.

Meanwhile, after their son’s death, Theresa and Gino packed their bags and moved to the US to start a new life. After decades of spending time away from each other, they’re forced to live together in a foreign land. As past wounds come to the surface, Theresa has to grapple with what it means to start all over again after everything she’s ever dreamed of fell apart. Finding strength in herself she otherwise didn’t know, Theresa restarts her life in ways that both terrifies and energizes her.

Life, Everlasting is a story of a family coping with loss. Told in alternating voices of Peter and Theresa, it is a story of new beginnings, of finding one’s footing in strange grounds and of marching on and discovering that life goes on for both the departed and those left behind.

Genres: Literary Fiction

209 pages, Kindle Edition

First published September 3, 2013

About the author

C.D. Loza works in the morning and, on his free time, he either reads, writes and does household chores.

Reviews

[Kevis Hendrickson · Rating 3 out of 5]

I’ll admit when I first started reading this book, I didn't think I'd like it. I was anticipating a thoughtful, but grim tale about death. I had expected it to be rife with melodrama and tear-jerking scenes. As it goes, I was wholly unprepared for this story and at first felt blindsided by some of the fantastical elements and slow, plodding beginning.

It did take some time, but I eventually warmed up to the story, finding myself becoming decidedly fond of the main characters as they became familiar to me. This book takes a very intimate look into the lives of a grieving mother Theresa who has lost her only son, Peter, in a car accident—and most interestingly Peter’s journey in the afterlife. The story shifts back and forth between the POV of Theresa and Peter. We mostly follow them through the doldrums of their daily lives as they learn to live with death and the new life they must create for themselves either here in this world or the next. The author paints his story with subtle strokes and soft colors, carefully selecting his words to guide us through his story. There are times when I feel the story moves too slowly for its own good when the story introduces and explores some of the supporting cast. But ultimately, the tale does cast a spellbinding effect where the reader is lost in the pages of the story as it unfolds to its bittersweet ending.

Editing issues exist in this book (incorrect use of punctuation with dialogue, improper shifting of narrative tenses, etc.). But the average reader probably won’t notice them and I don’t personally consider any of the mistakes deal breakers, especially considering the quality of the writing and strength of the author’s voice. In fact, some of the passages in this book are as haunting as they are beautiful. I had to slow down a few times to reflect on the philosophy, metaphors, and imagery in the story. There were several touching scenes that moved me such as when Theresa and her husband Gino had a tearful go at each other during their trip to NYC.

Overall, Life, Everlasting by C.D. Loza is a beautiful story that does a wonderful job of dealing with death. But it does so in a very positive and uplifting manner. I’m actually glad this book wasn’t what I expected. It turned out to be something better.

Disclaimer: This book was provided to me in exchange for an honest review.

[Douglas Wallis · Rating 4 out of 5]

It is impossible to know what happens to us when we die, therefore this book cannot be anything but a fantasy. But this is one person's imagined afterlife presented as a fable using modern imagery to show us how Peter who dies accidentally tries to come to terms with the futility of his life that was cut short and the unimaginable prospect of facing unending time.

Whilst he takes this limitless journey his parents, Therese and Gino continue their mortal existence after the loss of their only son. This is an often painful history told in minute detail of a mother's agony and attempt to live with her loss. Her husband is gradually developed from the shadows by his monosyllabic conversations and actions seen from her viewpoint.

Their attempts to adapt to emigrating to another culture is described in the minutiae of details that reinforces the painful difficulty she has trying to form a new life with her loss and her hollow marriage.

The two strands of the book's story are fascinating in that they tend to use similar imagery but in totally different contexts. I found Peters struggle to come to terms with inconceivable concepts, such as endless time, was good attempt at a very difficult subject and managed to convey his bewilderment.

Therese's character was well developed and thoroughly convincing, her isolation and attempts to cure her melancholy are heartrending. Her eventual ability to live with her new life is an achievement that justifies the gradual development of her story.

This is not a bleak story but more a mysterious analysis of the eternal question of if or what is an afterlife contrasted with the raw loss of those left behind. Unfortunately endless time is a difficult concept to draw to a conclusion and the book did cut it a bit abruptly short.

[Jeffrey Carl · Rating 3 out of 5]

The subject matter of this book is sensitive and tender. There are matters of death and those that have to move on with life after the unexpected death of a loved one. There are matters of displaced families moving to unfamiliar cities and losing both their social networks and their comfort zones. There are matters of the dead, and speculation on afterlife; the difficult transitions, the good, the bad, and the eternal. What is missing is some sort of forward motion. The author never really develops a validation of life, or of death. It's more like a validation of ennui. Maybe there is validation for those that are in need, and I am just fortunate I don't need the sentiments. But there's not enough here to dig into, to share the feelings, and find a way forward.

This is literature that is deeply ingrained in the human condition, and those conditions have drained the characters from connectedness to their worlds. That is a difficult world to bring to life through the pages of a book. The masters have struggled with few successes. I can applaud the attempt, but it falls short of succeeding for me. This book is not for the every man. It's for the person that needs to see they share in quiet desperation when dealing with heavy matters of the heart.

[Sean Torres · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book took me some time; over the matter in which I had an issue with the writing style of the author. For example, I feel that there wasn't any 'real emotion' from the characters whenever they spoke in dialog and felt that they were 'robots' whenever they spoke. I feel that the writing should improve on how a character feels whenever one speaks, and actually allow the reader to 'feel' what said character. That was what bothered me the most aside from other issues in the writing such as grammar.


As for the story however, I felt that the author made it quite heartwarming for one's eyes and mind. Patience was needed for me to fully grasp what was going on with the main protagonist (Peter) and those that were close to him. Quite a heartwarming story, it really makes you consider when you will one day have to face the hardships when you lose someone close to you. That or when someone would have to face the hardship of losing YOU. We need stories like these to remind us to value the time we have with the ones we care deeply, and I applaud the author for reminding us that.

Thank you for a beautiful story~

[Nicolas Wilson · Rating 3 out of 5]

There's some surreal twists, and the exotic settings are well built. It's got some flaws, though, in the technical aspects of the writing. It could use an edit, as tenses pretty regularly change mid-sentence (Especially where has/have/had is concerned), and there's some other sometimes jarring issues in the written tone. Aside from the occasional spot of too-strong exposition, the story itself is pretty evocative and strong. It's very setting-focused, rather than story-focused, and the afterlife portrayals are very vivid. At times, the real-world portions of the narrative felt disjointed, and the conflicts presented are definitely more subtle, as the story focuses the most on the settings, on Peter, and his surviving family members' alienation and lack of connection to their own respective situations. I'd love to see the dialogue smoothed out, and characterizations deepend, as well as some of the minor grammatical errors fixed.

If you are interested in heartwarming and surreal takes on religion, the afterlife, then you'll love it for the story.

[Dan · Rating 5 out of 5]

A nuanced and moving tale about grief and the afterlife.

there is much detail in the story. the author has vividly imagined what heaven is like. even the place set on Earth comes very much alive. but more than that, the story perfectly captures the nuances of grief. Cleverly, the author uses the stages of grief not to those left behind, but the one who died! it made me think that maybe the dead also grieves for the life they lost and moving on is as hard as for those left behind.

There are also a lot of allusions to philosophy and Narnia, if one reads through the details of the book, which makes the story very rich and compelling.

[Aischa Zorindell · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a coming-of-age story of a boy who finds himself in a strange place with no memory. This is also about a family coping with the loss of their loved one and how grief becomes a catalyst for change. Poignant and life-affirming, this book reimagines life and what comes after it in ways you have never imagined.

[Rubin Johnson · Rating 3 out of 5]

A Personal Outpouring of Grief

Life, Everlasting by C. D. Loza is an imaginative outpouring of grief for a life that ended young. The book is dedicated to Bryan Nathaniel [1988-2006]. As this is the first long work of fiction by this author, it is easy to imagine the power of the prose may come from first hand knowledge. The author treats us to descriptions of various places from Manila to New York City to a war-torn hell to one of several heavens.

The book alternates between following Peter Ramirez through the first sixteen years of his life (and then some), and his grieving parents, Gino and Theresa. We learn of Peter's childhood, academic prowess, and athletic limitations. The writer takes Theresa's point of view to show us greedy money-grubbing Filipino relatives, an insecure wife, and a mostly distant father. Watching them handle changes in their life circumstances with grief so close to the surface is touching.

In general, the book kept to the theme of everlasting life. In one short section, however, the following two sentences appeared, expressing a different notion.
"Waiting was the worse part of being dead."
"The worst part of being dead was not knowing."

Chapter titles were interesting in taking us through the stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. The text, on the other hand, shows grief to be a never ending process as evidenced by several scenes, including an especially poignant visit to a store selling Legos. One character's self-talk referred to the notion of 'one step at a time' on multiple occasions, reminiscent of advice for dealing with difficult situations, including grief and the associated depression. I couldn't help but think the book's instructions for learning how to survive eternity are also meant to help one survive while grieving.

A common offering to grieving people is the expression "Your loved one is in a better place." This book describes such a better place, full of exciting adventures and wonderful beaches. If a reader is looking for a traditional novel driven by a plot and characters changing and growing as they confront obstacles, this book will disappoint. On the other hand, if you seek to learn how others deal with grief, or how someone else imagines heaven, this book may be of interest. I particularly liked one feature of this heaven as per the quote below.
"You will be able to see the big picture. If you have to make a decision, your mind can take a snapshot of your current reality and you can conjure it to help with your decision."

The book is decently proof read. The author sprinkles in names of various endangered plant and animal species as well as other intriguing episodes (e.g. a mugging) which ultimately had no role. I received a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

[Eisah Eisah · Rating 4 out of 5]

I received a free copy of this book in exchange for a non-reciprocal review.
(There will be spoilers).

After finishing the book, I have to say Theresa and Gino make the story for me. Peter is all right. I felt like a lot of his stuff was just there, although there is some payoff at the end.

But Theresa and Gino are great characters. They feel real, and the way they handle their son's death is portrayed very well. How they treat and feel about each other is realistic, too. They feel like a couple who has been apart much of their life, and who are trying to adjust to living together. While they don't hate each other or anything, they do have some resentments over their choices. And even though they're detached from each other there is still a hint of something there.

I liked when Theresa worried that Gino would get upset if she spent money on herself, and being pleasantly surprised when he seemed okay with it. Gino seemed like the type who didn't talk a lot but he still wanted to support her.

There were parts that offered too many details. For example, discussions about whether to go to X restaurant or Y restaurant. I also never felt like I really knew much about their family in the afterlife. They were mostly a bunch of names for me, while I did get some impressions of the people who were still living.

But overall, I found Theresa and Gino to be great, deep characters going through an incredibly hard situation. I really wanted them to be okay in the end because they both seemed like they deserved it. I liked how they could be detached, but neither was ever portrayed as being horribly wrong or something - they just made some different life choices that the other didn't agree with.

For example, Gino serving in the military for so long, which kept him away from his family. On the other hand, Theresa constantly letting people mooch off of her and giving away their money. Neither was a bad person but you could understand why they would get irritated.

It's a touching book. I'd recommend it for anyone who is looking for a somewhat sad story of a family dealing with the grief of a lost son.

[K.A. Krisko · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book presents a unique vision of what happens when someone dies unexpectedly, from the point of view of both those left behind and the one who died. Yet it’s neither a ghost story nor a religious exposition.

Therese and Gino grow slowly through the book as they each deal with their grief and sense of disassociation. We see the baby steps as they move towards a new life, probably with each other, probably in a new country. There’s a great deal of detail here, but it seems necessary to walk us through the slow, agonizing forward-motion of healing. I found Therese very well-written and believable, and her story, to me, was the crux of the book.

Meanwhile, Peter struggles to figure out what has happened and how he’s going to fit into his new world. Peter’s journey, oddly enough, was not that interesting to me. This vision of the afterlife was odd and not particularly satisfying. It seemed hollow and goalless.
This book is an exploration of mental growth and journeys. Nothing much really happens, and yet, by the end, we know Therese intimately and feel a sense of satisfaction as she is able to continue her life.

The end was a bit abrupt after all the detail and immersion of the rest of the book. I would have been okay stopping before that part, knowing that everyone is going to keep on keeping on until it’s time for them to move on.

I’d recommend this book for those who’ve experienced the sudden loss of a loved one and those who enjoy literary fiction that explores the psyche.

[Scott Spotson · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book tries hard, but moves at a pace too slowly for me. I felt like this was a dramatization of an essay upon what it is like to live in Heaven (or whatever afterlife every religion believes in) and the kind of life that bereaved parents live after a teenage child's death. I felt this wasn't a story, but more like non-fiction. A lot of what the parents did after the son's death did not relate directly to the son's death--there is a lot of discussion in the story about how the mother adapts to new technology and becoming independent. This could have happened without a death of a teenage child, as millions of women have learned liberation in some countries such as the Philippines as modern technology invades households that previously were not wired in.

I found it more interesting imagining what Heaven was like. However, aside from the initial memory loss and meeting loved ones who have already died, it seems much like the wealthy on this planet crossing off their "bucket list" of things to do on today's Earth. i.e. fly a plane, hang glide from the tip of a volcano.

I don't know any better than others what Heaven is like, but I can't imagine it as just doing what you could do on Earth if you had millions in cash to spend and no responsibilities. Even that, after a while, can get tiresome.

[Emma Jaye · Rating 3 out of 5]

A carefully crafted, eloquent story about the afterlife and a grieving mother left behind.
Her son in heaven, explores his new environment,finding comfort in being reunited with his dead grandparents. The book is filled with vivid descriptions and the sense of depression of both main characters comes through the pages easily.
I wasn't quite sure what the purpose of the story was, yes it was uplifting in that Heaven exists and the teenager eventually starts to explore his new life. However, the quiet grief of his mother, who seems to be just going through the motions of life after the death of her only child was heart-wrenching, and I think the book would have worked without the mother's story being told in such detail.

The pace of the book was a definite stumbling point, for example 7 pages of following the mother in a book shop while she tries to find a book to fill her now empty life. After all the slow, very detailed descriptions of daily life, I felt a little cheated at the end that I didn't get to see the big reunion between the main characters at the end of her life.

I found the author's version of Heaven interesting, but reading about Theresa's grief and hopeless plodding through life was distinctly uncomfortable.

[Michael · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book is two parallel stories that never really intersect. A teenaged boy dies in a tragic accident. His story line progresses through the stages of grief, regarding his own death; then, he becomes an afterlife explorer; finally, he achieves a measure of contentment in heaven and prepares for the eventual arrival of his parents.
The other plot line is the boy’s parents, told through his mother’s eyes, trying to go on living after the tragedy. She spends the first eighty percent of the book barely holding it together, going through the motions of life. Finally, she has her breakdown, but does not really experience catharsis. The pivotal moment arrives, spends its energy, then quickly fades.
The ending is rushed and barely connected to the body of the story.
Overall, I feel the plot lacked direction. It is a narrative of grief and depression without an underlying theme or moral or even a sense of healing. The main characters do not ask anything of the reader other than empathy, nor do they deliver anything of substance. Although I did not expect a story about death to be exciting nor entertaining, I did not expect it to be flat and lifeless either.

[Kathryn Dionne · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a touching story by a talented author. C.D. Loza tells a story of a man and woman, Theresa and Gino, who have lost their sixteen year old son, Peter, in a car accident. The story is told from both the parents' perspective and Peter's.

I found the story very well written for the most part. The author has a wonderfully descriptive voice. My only issue was that I felt there were many times when the story's pace drug a bit with details not necessary for the progression of the story.

I do believe that C.D Loza has the potential of being a truly great writer.

[Paulette Hampton · Rating 3 out of 5]

I thought the story was very heart-warming and unusual. I was delighted by the author's ability to turn a phrase so well. I would have enjoyed more depth and texture in the characters' personalities. There were some grammar issues as well. Overall, however, it was a good read.