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The Bleeding Heart
From the bestselling author of The Women’s Room comes a resonant novel about love and marriage
Dolores Durer, a divorced English professor and the mother of two adult children, has sworn off love after a series of disastrous affairs. Electronics executive Victor Morrissey is in England to open a branch office. He has four children and is unhappily married.
From the moment they meet—on a train—their connection is instant and passionate. The two Americans abroad embark on an affair that will have consequences in both their lives. Each carries baggage. Dolores is haunted by family tragedy; Victor is tormented by marital estrangement. Driven by an impending sense of urgency, knowing their time together is finite, they struggle to transform their pasts into a hopeful future.
Dolores Durer, a divorced English professor and the mother of two adult children, has sworn off love after a series of disastrous affairs. Electronics executive Victor Morrissey is in England to open a branch office. He has four children and is unhappily married.
From the moment they meet—on a train—their connection is instant and passionate. The two Americans abroad embark on an affair that will have consequences in both their lives. Each carries baggage. Dolores is haunted by family tragedy; Victor is tormented by marital estrangement. Driven by an impending sense of urgency, knowing their time together is finite, they struggle to transform their pasts into a hopeful future.
408 pages, ebook
First published January 1, 1980
30 people are currently reading
507 people want to read
About the author
Marilyn French
49 books280 followersShe attended Hofstra University (then Hofstra College) where she also received a master's degree in English in 1964. She married Robert M. French Jr. in 1950; the couple divorced in 1967. She later attended Harvard University, earning a Ph.D in 1972. Years later she became an instructor at Hofstra University.
In her work, French asserted that women's oppression is an intrinsic part of the male-dominated global culture. Beyond Power: On Women, Men and Morals (1985) is a historical examination of the effects of patriarchy on the world.
French's 1977 novel, The Women's Room, follows the lives of Mira and her friends in 1950s and 1960s America, including Val, a militant radical feminist. The novel portrays the details of the lives of women at this time and also the feminist movement of this era in the United States. At one point in the book the character Val says "all men are rapists". This quote has often been incorrectly attributed to Marilyn French herself. French's first book was a thesis on James Joyce.
French was diagnosed with esophageal cancer in 1992. This experience was the basis for her book A Season in Hell: A Memoir (1998).
She was also mentioned in the 1982 ABBA song, "The Day Before You Came". The lyrics that mentioned French were: "I must have read a while, the latest one by Marilyn French or something in that style".
French died from heart failure at age 79 on May 2, 2009 in Manhattan, New York City. She is survived by her son Robert and daughter Jamie.
In her work, French asserted that women's oppression is an intrinsic part of the male-dominated global culture. Beyond Power: On Women, Men and Morals (1985) is a historical examination of the effects of patriarchy on the world.
French's 1977 novel, The Women's Room, follows the lives of Mira and her friends in 1950s and 1960s America, including Val, a militant radical feminist. The novel portrays the details of the lives of women at this time and also the feminist movement of this era in the United States. At one point in the book the character Val says "all men are rapists". This quote has often been incorrectly attributed to Marilyn French herself. French's first book was a thesis on James Joyce.
French was diagnosed with esophageal cancer in 1992. This experience was the basis for her book A Season in Hell: A Memoir (1998).
She was also mentioned in the 1982 ABBA song, "The Day Before You Came". The lyrics that mentioned French were: "I must have read a while, the latest one by Marilyn French or something in that style".
French died from heart failure at age 79 on May 2, 2009 in Manhattan, New York City. She is survived by her son Robert and daughter Jamie.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 46 reviews
November 2, 2023
I finished this book a few days ago, but only now have figured out what I want to say about it. This was in some ways an admirable novel, admirable in the sense it is essentially an 80's feminist read, and I noticed a lot of it stands today, but on the other hand, it was a frustrating and sometimes yucky romance, mainly centred on one woman that just wouldn't give her guy a break.
Dolores and Victor meet, fall into a passionate love, and never look back, until they realise that they have very different views on the world, and the one carries a lot of baggage. I don't see this as a negative, as it made the novel more interesting, and I enjoyed reading the debates about societies roles for women, what is expected of us and what isn't.
Dolores was overbearing, as she constantly labelled all men as the same. They apparently think the same and do the same with absolutely no room for improvement in between. I can appreciate the author is a feminist, I'm a feminist, but even this was a little overwhelming.
I think Dolores loved Victor, but she punished herself for admitting that she needed a man in order to live and function. A woman obviously doesn't need a man, but I don't think she should have considered this a flaw.
Overall, this book was readable, and I found parts good discussion points, but the screaming from Dolores was too much for me.
Dolores and Victor meet, fall into a passionate love, and never look back, until they realise that they have very different views on the world, and the one carries a lot of baggage. I don't see this as a negative, as it made the novel more interesting, and I enjoyed reading the debates about societies roles for women, what is expected of us and what isn't.
Dolores was overbearing, as she constantly labelled all men as the same. They apparently think the same and do the same with absolutely no room for improvement in between. I can appreciate the author is a feminist, I'm a feminist, but even this was a little overwhelming.
I think Dolores loved Victor, but she punished herself for admitting that she needed a man in order to live and function. A woman obviously doesn't need a man, but I don't think she should have considered this a flaw.
Overall, this book was readable, and I found parts good discussion points, but the screaming from Dolores was too much for me.
November 21, 2020
How on Earth can anybody call this book a ROMANCE?! This is Literary Fiction. Clearly. It's a character study. It's about gender politics and human relations and parenting and trauma and abuse and suicide and mental health. Romance? Are you kidding me?
There are thousands of books written by male Literary Fiction authors that follow the same structure as The Bleeding Heart. Two people, in a relationship, having intense discussions about life. Stephen Dixon, Philip Roth, Ernest Hemmingway. Not ONCE has anyone even begun to consider their works "Romance".
I'm not even saying this book is especially good. It's a pretty good book, well written but a little heavy handed at times with just how miserable it is. What I'm saying is... HOW? How can you finish reading this very feminist novel and decide it was a Romance? I'm pretty sure at no point do any two characters even say "I love you" to each other!
The fact that people are on this website STILL thinking a book like this is Romance just because it was written by a woman shows how far we have not come, even in 2020. I'm sorry, Marilyn, about that rolling you must be doing in your grave. Don't be mad. Apparently, somehow, they still don't know any better.
There are thousands of books written by male Literary Fiction authors that follow the same structure as The Bleeding Heart. Two people, in a relationship, having intense discussions about life. Stephen Dixon, Philip Roth, Ernest Hemmingway. Not ONCE has anyone even begun to consider their works "Romance".
I'm not even saying this book is especially good. It's a pretty good book, well written but a little heavy handed at times with just how miserable it is. What I'm saying is... HOW? How can you finish reading this very feminist novel and decide it was a Romance? I'm pretty sure at no point do any two characters even say "I love you" to each other!
The fact that people are on this website STILL thinking a book like this is Romance just because it was written by a woman shows how far we have not come, even in 2020. I'm sorry, Marilyn, about that rolling you must be doing in your grave. Don't be mad. Apparently, somehow, they still don't know any better.
February 26, 2014
All the angsty romance I’ve been reading lately has had one (well, probably myriad, but let’s stick to one for now) thing in common: the protagonists are young. Early to mid-twenties. Just starting out in life, overcoming childhood tragedy. Which has got me thinking: why not angst about older people?
And then The Bleeding Heart came up, and now I know why. Maybe. Angsty romance with older protagonists -- in this case, in their fifties, I think, so a little older than I was aiming for, but that’s irrelevant -- isn’t so sunny in the end. In the end, the protagonists are mature enough to know that there is no happily ever after. That all the things that have shaped them have irrevocably damaged and jaded them, and the most we can hope for is happy for now.
Okay, so that’s probably not always the case, and the same can probably be said for some young angst too, but that’s the impression I got after reading The Bleeding Heart. Characters have too much history, too much experience to expect or even want more. They’re too set in their ways to compromise, almost. They’re tired of compromising. They’ve done enough of that already.
In The Bleeding Heart, Dolores, an American English prof who’s on sabbatical in Oxford, meets Victor on a train. Despite the fact that Dolores has been enjoying, more or less, her years-long celibacy, she’s attracted to Victor, who won’t stop looking at her. He follows her home. Celibacy ended.
But, we soon learn a lot about Dolores. How she feels about men, in particular. How they’re always disappointing her by doing exactly as she expects they will. Victor leaves her flat quickly after their first night. He has work; its urgency and importance necessitate abruptness. Dolores isn’t surprised but she’s furious by this little thoughtlessness. However, Victor remains in her life.
I was surprised by that. A lot of things about this book surprised me, most especially my reaction to it. Dolores is argumentative, opinionated, an outspoken, passionate feminist and liberal. Victor’s a capitalist; she’s a bleeding heart. They’re very different, and they’re constantly arguing about their differences. But they’re mature enough to respect their differences and see past them. Or at least Victor is.
Dolores constantly rails on him about all the ways men, and especially men like him, are ruining the world, are abusing women. And it drove me nuts, how she never let up, how she would never compromise, how Victor couldn’t ever win. But also, she was right, so my response was complicated. If she’s right, why should she compromise? Because she wants him in her life? Why should we compromise our principles just for male companionship? But if you want his companionship, shouldn’t you at least give him a break now and then? I was constantly questioning my reaction. Why did I always side with Victor when Dolores so often made very valid points and Victor did in fact represent the enemy? What does that say about me and how I’ve bought into the very status quo that Dolores is fighting?
So many times I would’ve left her and never come back. That’s how infuriating I found her, even when I admired her for fighting. But Victor doesn’t leave. And that confused me even more, although when we learn more about him, we can imagine that Dolores’s passion and honesty are a draw, and that he’s not averse to a little conflict. But wow. No conversation is safe.
Dolores and Victor aren’t what they appear on the surface, though. They’re adults with established careers, the respect of their peers, grown children, but they’ve both been through horrific experiences. So you learn how they’ve been shaped, and how complex they are, and how maybe a little arguing is a small price to pay for time spent with someone who is real and makes you think and feel deeply. This book made me think and feel deeply, and it wasn’t often pleasant, but it was enlightening.
Also, it was written in 1980, so it’s informed by a different female experience (for the most part; I’m not naïve enough to think society’s changed that much). The women are housewives, even those who have careers. The men do not lift a finger, do not know their children, have all the say. That would probably make me furious and obsessed too. A lot has changed since, in part because of the influence of Marilyn French’s first novel The Women’s Room, which was particularly concerned with the oppression of women. The Bleeding Heart is a rant, sometimes a tiring one with moments of hypocrisy and unfair generalizations, but all the more real because of it. As poignant as the romance was, because they do see past their differences enough to want to be together, I didn’t enjoy it all that much (especially the more explicit parts of it -- yeesh). But I couldn’t ignore the message. And I was torn apart by the revelations Dolores and Victor make. Adult angst might not be as fun as new adult angst, but its effect is much more powerful. And so I found this an infuriating but powerful book.
Lila
Reviewed from ARC. Re-released by Open Road Media September 24, 2013.
Full review at nomdeplumepress.wordpress.com.
And then The Bleeding Heart came up, and now I know why. Maybe. Angsty romance with older protagonists -- in this case, in their fifties, I think, so a little older than I was aiming for, but that’s irrelevant -- isn’t so sunny in the end. In the end, the protagonists are mature enough to know that there is no happily ever after. That all the things that have shaped them have irrevocably damaged and jaded them, and the most we can hope for is happy for now.
Okay, so that’s probably not always the case, and the same can probably be said for some young angst too, but that’s the impression I got after reading The Bleeding Heart. Characters have too much history, too much experience to expect or even want more. They’re too set in their ways to compromise, almost. They’re tired of compromising. They’ve done enough of that already.
In The Bleeding Heart, Dolores, an American English prof who’s on sabbatical in Oxford, meets Victor on a train. Despite the fact that Dolores has been enjoying, more or less, her years-long celibacy, she’s attracted to Victor, who won’t stop looking at her. He follows her home. Celibacy ended.
But, we soon learn a lot about Dolores. How she feels about men, in particular. How they’re always disappointing her by doing exactly as she expects they will. Victor leaves her flat quickly after their first night. He has work; its urgency and importance necessitate abruptness. Dolores isn’t surprised but she’s furious by this little thoughtlessness. However, Victor remains in her life.
I was surprised by that. A lot of things about this book surprised me, most especially my reaction to it. Dolores is argumentative, opinionated, an outspoken, passionate feminist and liberal. Victor’s a capitalist; she’s a bleeding heart. They’re very different, and they’re constantly arguing about their differences. But they’re mature enough to respect their differences and see past them. Or at least Victor is.
Dolores constantly rails on him about all the ways men, and especially men like him, are ruining the world, are abusing women. And it drove me nuts, how she never let up, how she would never compromise, how Victor couldn’t ever win. But also, she was right, so my response was complicated. If she’s right, why should she compromise? Because she wants him in her life? Why should we compromise our principles just for male companionship? But if you want his companionship, shouldn’t you at least give him a break now and then? I was constantly questioning my reaction. Why did I always side with Victor when Dolores so often made very valid points and Victor did in fact represent the enemy? What does that say about me and how I’ve bought into the very status quo that Dolores is fighting?
So many times I would’ve left her and never come back. That’s how infuriating I found her, even when I admired her for fighting. But Victor doesn’t leave. And that confused me even more, although when we learn more about him, we can imagine that Dolores’s passion and honesty are a draw, and that he’s not averse to a little conflict. But wow. No conversation is safe.
Dolores and Victor aren’t what they appear on the surface, though. They’re adults with established careers, the respect of their peers, grown children, but they’ve both been through horrific experiences. So you learn how they’ve been shaped, and how complex they are, and how maybe a little arguing is a small price to pay for time spent with someone who is real and makes you think and feel deeply. This book made me think and feel deeply, and it wasn’t often pleasant, but it was enlightening.
Also, it was written in 1980, so it’s informed by a different female experience (for the most part; I’m not naïve enough to think society’s changed that much). The women are housewives, even those who have careers. The men do not lift a finger, do not know their children, have all the say. That would probably make me furious and obsessed too. A lot has changed since, in part because of the influence of Marilyn French’s first novel The Women’s Room, which was particularly concerned with the oppression of women. The Bleeding Heart is a rant, sometimes a tiring one with moments of hypocrisy and unfair generalizations, but all the more real because of it. As poignant as the romance was, because they do see past their differences enough to want to be together, I didn’t enjoy it all that much (especially the more explicit parts of it -- yeesh). But I couldn’t ignore the message. And I was torn apart by the revelations Dolores and Victor make. Adult angst might not be as fun as new adult angst, but its effect is much more powerful. And so I found this an infuriating but powerful book.
Lila
Reviewed from ARC. Re-released by Open Road Media September 24, 2013.
Full review at nomdeplumepress.wordpress.com.
January 1, 2013
Re-reading this book is my attempt to find a calm place. (there was a six-year interval)
Bleeding Heart evokes the hurt that shares space with our gender roles and identities; speaks of a war between men and women who may not even be aware of waging the war but ending up as victims anyway, of bloodless battles that leave them bleeding nevertheless. But are these really bloodless battles? There were women who bled in such battles; many bleed still. There were men who stained their hands with blood of other men and women.
Bleeding Heart tells sad stories of paying prices for freedom, for love, for justice, where payment comes early in our lives as girls and boys. The early pains leave indelible marks and blemishes, making it doubly hard to forget such enslaving histories. Sometimes such blemishes graduate into actions of power, transgressions, violence. It is not difficult to imagine how these manifest in patriarchal and capitalist societies, where women's hearts bleed the darkest.
Bleeding Heart also sings of love, of tolerance without having to feel subjugated, of lessening the dose that numbs the pain as long as there are poems dedicated to one's self.
To the protagonists of this story, i write:
Dolores, my story-teller, let your heart bleed free of pain; then let love pump new blood.
Viktor, Dolores' lover, pierce your heart and let it bleed; then let love pump new blood.
(As I write this post, I received two books written by Alice Walker - (1) The Way Forward is with a Broken Heart, and (2) Now is the Time to Open Your Heart. Hmmm, i'm excited to read them and find their relation to French's Bleeding Heart. So, until the next review...haaaay so many books, so little time)
Bleeding Heart evokes the hurt that shares space with our gender roles and identities; speaks of a war between men and women who may not even be aware of waging the war but ending up as victims anyway, of bloodless battles that leave them bleeding nevertheless. But are these really bloodless battles? There were women who bled in such battles; many bleed still. There were men who stained their hands with blood of other men and women.
Bleeding Heart tells sad stories of paying prices for freedom, for love, for justice, where payment comes early in our lives as girls and boys. The early pains leave indelible marks and blemishes, making it doubly hard to forget such enslaving histories. Sometimes such blemishes graduate into actions of power, transgressions, violence. It is not difficult to imagine how these manifest in patriarchal and capitalist societies, where women's hearts bleed the darkest.
Bleeding Heart also sings of love, of tolerance without having to feel subjugated, of lessening the dose that numbs the pain as long as there are poems dedicated to one's self.
To the protagonists of this story, i write:
Dolores, my story-teller, let your heart bleed free of pain; then let love pump new blood.
Viktor, Dolores' lover, pierce your heart and let it bleed; then let love pump new blood.
(As I write this post, I received two books written by Alice Walker - (1) The Way Forward is with a Broken Heart, and (2) Now is the Time to Open Your Heart. Hmmm, i'm excited to read them and find their relation to French's Bleeding Heart. So, until the next review...haaaay so many books, so little time)
February 23, 2014
The Bleeding Heart by Marilyn French is an Open Road Intergrated Media publication. I was provided a copy of this book by the publisher and Netgalley in conjunction with Retro Romance reading group in exchange for an honest review.
Dolores and Victor are two strangers on a train... Yes, that's how the book really starts out. They begin an affair that has a time frame attached to it. They will have a year together and then they will go about their lives as they had before the affair.
The relationship is the deepest one either of them have had in quite some time. Victor is married, but his marriage is one in name only. Dolores is divorced, but it's more complicated than that. Both of them have had affairs in the past, but none of them had much emotional depth. For Victor, Delores causes him to realize his failings in the past and examine his actions and the responsiblbity he is just now realizing he must own up to. For Delores, this is the first time she has dealt with the pain and disillusionment and heartache she has endured over the years since her marriage disolved. Delores is not the hearts and flowers type for sure. She is plagued by dark thoughts, nightmares, and fears.
As the story of their lives unfold we see the pain men have caused Delores and we understand why she feels the way she does. We learn that Victor was and may be still not such great guy. Through Delores he begins to view things from a woman's perpective, something he has never really contemplated too much in the past. As each one pours out their painful stories to the other it becomes clear that neither of them will ever be able to have the type of romantic relationship we thing of traditionally, either with each other or with someone else. They are two people who could really make a relationship work though if they were so inclined. But, while Victor would not mind things continuing, Delores is much more realistic and may decide this life isn't the one she really wants.
Written at a time when women were just beginning to step out the traditional roles created for them, this book examines the true nature of those roles. Men went about their lives after marriage much the same way they did before they married. They had jobs and hobbies and friends a life outside of the family. They came home and there was a hot meal on the table , the house clean, the children taken care of, the laundry done, and then they expected their wives to perform in the bedroom without giving a single thought as to what life might be like for them. Victor was no exception to that rule and while he may have won the battle of wills against his wife, the victory was a hallow and tragic one.
For Delores, her marriage was a nightmare. She was emotionally rung out from it and as bad as the marriage was, the divorce was worse. She also suffered other more horrible tragedies in her life as well and so her attitude about marriage and love are not healthy. Delores is not always mentally or emotionally healthy. Victor has opened up the pain she went through and her subconsious mind tries to deal with the pain and fear she has kept buried for so long.
While Victor and Delores had some good times, and the relationship helped Delores to heal, and opened Victor's eyes to some things, and the book was very absorbing and well written, it was also really depressing. There was so much heavy drama and most of if was so dark and heartbreaking with no clear path to future peace or contentment or even a little happiness. I began to wish the end would come and that's never a good sign. Usually, I hate it when a book has to end. While I understand what the author's intent was and admire the sentiment, it was just too oppressive to really be enjoyed. The ending did nothing to redeem that feeling. It was an interesting portrait of this period of transition in the lives of women the dawning of a more enlightened way of thinking for men. However, it was spread on too thick and became more of an essay on feminism, which was the part of the author's intent, but it just took over the whole story and I began to grow weary of it. I honestly can't decide on how I want to rate this one. I'm going to go with a C, a nice middle of the road rating although I didn't exactly enjoy the book I can't fault the writing or the author's well meaning attempt to showcase the misery men have put women through, often without really realizing it fully. So, lets go with the C grade or 3 stars.
Dolores and Victor are two strangers on a train... Yes, that's how the book really starts out. They begin an affair that has a time frame attached to it. They will have a year together and then they will go about their lives as they had before the affair.
The relationship is the deepest one either of them have had in quite some time. Victor is married, but his marriage is one in name only. Dolores is divorced, but it's more complicated than that. Both of them have had affairs in the past, but none of them had much emotional depth. For Victor, Delores causes him to realize his failings in the past and examine his actions and the responsiblbity he is just now realizing he must own up to. For Delores, this is the first time she has dealt with the pain and disillusionment and heartache she has endured over the years since her marriage disolved. Delores is not the hearts and flowers type for sure. She is plagued by dark thoughts, nightmares, and fears.
As the story of their lives unfold we see the pain men have caused Delores and we understand why she feels the way she does. We learn that Victor was and may be still not such great guy. Through Delores he begins to view things from a woman's perpective, something he has never really contemplated too much in the past. As each one pours out their painful stories to the other it becomes clear that neither of them will ever be able to have the type of romantic relationship we thing of traditionally, either with each other or with someone else. They are two people who could really make a relationship work though if they were so inclined. But, while Victor would not mind things continuing, Delores is much more realistic and may decide this life isn't the one she really wants.
Written at a time when women were just beginning to step out the traditional roles created for them, this book examines the true nature of those roles. Men went about their lives after marriage much the same way they did before they married. They had jobs and hobbies and friends a life outside of the family. They came home and there was a hot meal on the table , the house clean, the children taken care of, the laundry done, and then they expected their wives to perform in the bedroom without giving a single thought as to what life might be like for them. Victor was no exception to that rule and while he may have won the battle of wills against his wife, the victory was a hallow and tragic one.
For Delores, her marriage was a nightmare. She was emotionally rung out from it and as bad as the marriage was, the divorce was worse. She also suffered other more horrible tragedies in her life as well and so her attitude about marriage and love are not healthy. Delores is not always mentally or emotionally healthy. Victor has opened up the pain she went through and her subconsious mind tries to deal with the pain and fear she has kept buried for so long.
While Victor and Delores had some good times, and the relationship helped Delores to heal, and opened Victor's eyes to some things, and the book was very absorbing and well written, it was also really depressing. There was so much heavy drama and most of if was so dark and heartbreaking with no clear path to future peace or contentment or even a little happiness. I began to wish the end would come and that's never a good sign. Usually, I hate it when a book has to end. While I understand what the author's intent was and admire the sentiment, it was just too oppressive to really be enjoyed. The ending did nothing to redeem that feeling. It was an interesting portrait of this period of transition in the lives of women the dawning of a more enlightened way of thinking for men. However, it was spread on too thick and became more of an essay on feminism, which was the part of the author's intent, but it just took over the whole story and I began to grow weary of it. I honestly can't decide on how I want to rate this one. I'm going to go with a C, a nice middle of the road rating although I didn't exactly enjoy the book I can't fault the writing or the author's well meaning attempt to showcase the misery men have put women through, often without really realizing it fully. So, lets go with the C grade or 3 stars.
Read
January 29, 2021Couldn't finish, very boring!
February 28, 2014
My very forward thinking mother bought me this novel back in the mid 1980s. I loved it! I really should sit and read it again now that I'm older and life has had it's way with me:P 5★
May 27, 2020
Not the most subtle book, but helped me understand a few important things (i.e. men and compartmentalization) because they're laid out so explicitly. And it was a fun read. I like both Dolores and Victor even though at times in their discourse they almost feel too much like stereotypes of themselves (feminist, traditional man). But to be fair people are often that way in real life too--more exaggerated and simplistic in their self-narratives than you'd expect. I think a lot of things about the way men and women interact have changed since Marilyn French wrote this book but much more has stayed the same. In that sense it's evergreen.
January 21, 2008
Loved this book back in the 80's. Found it a succint and powerful summation of the relationship between men and women.
November 14, 2013
Boring and pretencious. Too much whining. With so much resentment, there was no room for love.
March 20, 2024
give him a break, dolores !
parts of this were like being sucked back into the women's room and i got lost in the narrative - when victor was talking about edith, when dolores was talking about elspeth - however, most of it was dolores being SO whiney for absolutely no reason other than to attack victor simply for existing as a male, as if he must be punished for something out of his control. not feminist ! very OTT and i did often wonder why victor continued to put up with it...but maybe that's the point. at the end of the day, it's not necessarily dolores i feel for, and maybe that was french's point - not very feminist of me, is it?
parts of this were like being sucked back into the women's room and i got lost in the narrative - when victor was talking about edith, when dolores was talking about elspeth - however, most of it was dolores being SO whiney for absolutely no reason other than to attack victor simply for existing as a male, as if he must be punished for something out of his control. not feminist ! very OTT and i did often wonder why victor continued to put up with it...but maybe that's the point. at the end of the day, it's not necessarily dolores i feel for, and maybe that was french's point - not very feminist of me, is it?
August 6, 2019
Review 1991:
Toen ik dit de eerste keer las, gaven sommige passages me echt een schok van herkenning. Daarom heb ik het toen gekocht, hoewel ik me ook ergerde aan het slachtoffertoontje. Dat laatste doe ik nog steeds. Het komt me nu voor alsof er voornamelijk open deuren ingetrapt worden.
Toen ik dit de eerste keer las, gaven sommige passages me echt een schok van herkenning. Daarom heb ik het toen gekocht, hoewel ik me ook ergerde aan het slachtoffertoontje. Dat laatste doe ik nog steeds. Het komt me nu voor alsof er voornamelijk open deuren ingetrapt worden.
dnf
July 7, 2025DNF
It was pretty good study of character and the writing was captivating, but the character it was studying was just too emotionally immature and I got bored of her worldviews. If I hear one more time "all women and all men", I'm gonna scream.
It was pretty good study of character and the writing was captivating, but the character it was studying was just too emotionally immature and I got bored of her worldviews. If I hear one more time "all women and all men", I'm gonna scream.
March 19, 2014
I have to say that I did not get on very well with this book. I struggled to get through it. I enjoyed the location, Oxford, England, but found the rest of the book held little for me.
It was an unusual romance. In principle the idea was interesting, but I found the narrative tedious. There were extremely large sections that just seemed to be undirected rambling and whining about the past by the main characters, Dolores and Victor.
There was a lot of back story, presumably designed to indicate to the reader the main characters motivation for acting as they did. Instead it came across, to me at least, as rather monotonous and extremely negative. There appeared to be a real ire for men, in general, and an automatic assumption that all men are the same. This became wearing after a while.
This was not a book I particularly enjoyed, and although I felt that technically it was well executed, the narrative of the story and the past lives of the main characters quickly began to irritate me, and sadly, that didn’t change throughout the course of the book.
I was hoping for a big conclusion and some life changing events towards the end of the book, which were never realised. A big epiphany, if you will, but it was not to be.
I am sure that there are many readers out there that will enjoy a romance of this nature, but whilst I can appreciate the author’s skill, I am not one of them.
This review was based upon a complimentary copy of the book provided by Netgalley and the publisher Open Road Media as part of the Retro reads program.
It was an unusual romance. In principle the idea was interesting, but I found the narrative tedious. There were extremely large sections that just seemed to be undirected rambling and whining about the past by the main characters, Dolores and Victor.
There was a lot of back story, presumably designed to indicate to the reader the main characters motivation for acting as they did. Instead it came across, to me at least, as rather monotonous and extremely negative. There appeared to be a real ire for men, in general, and an automatic assumption that all men are the same. This became wearing after a while.
This was not a book I particularly enjoyed, and although I felt that technically it was well executed, the narrative of the story and the past lives of the main characters quickly began to irritate me, and sadly, that didn’t change throughout the course of the book.
I was hoping for a big conclusion and some life changing events towards the end of the book, which were never realised. A big epiphany, if you will, but it was not to be.
I am sure that there are many readers out there that will enjoy a romance of this nature, but whilst I can appreciate the author’s skill, I am not one of them.
This review was based upon a complimentary copy of the book provided by Netgalley and the publisher Open Road Media as part of the Retro reads program.
February 23, 2014
Hate is a strong word, but I really did not love this book and my desire to just be done with it already was in the forefront of my thoughts throughout.
I found this one a difficult book to read. For me, it read a bit like a handbook for man-hating and the main character/narrator came across as a spoiled and pretentious prat the majority of the time. The random poetic moments/mad ramblings did not add any reason for me to love this.
As I read, I kept hoping for one of those life changing moments when the character realises that they can move beyond self-pity and go on with life as they are but it never came as I expected. I got bored with swapping from the present to the depressing and altogether dismal past of the main character.
The love story aspect was not really there. The reason for this, I believe, is that the characters had such long, drawn out conversations about their previous lives that I never felt the romance could muddle its way through.
Some interesting concepts were presented in this book and the author was good at following through with her thought processes and character details, but this just wasn't one for me.
If you are a fan of highly thoughtful books that revolve around introspection, this book may be a good match for you.
This review is based on the digital edition from Open Road Media and was presented to be in exchange for an honest review.
I found this one a difficult book to read. For me, it read a bit like a handbook for man-hating and the main character/narrator came across as a spoiled and pretentious prat the majority of the time. The random poetic moments/mad ramblings did not add any reason for me to love this.
As I read, I kept hoping for one of those life changing moments when the character realises that they can move beyond self-pity and go on with life as they are but it never came as I expected. I got bored with swapping from the present to the depressing and altogether dismal past of the main character.
The love story aspect was not really there. The reason for this, I believe, is that the characters had such long, drawn out conversations about their previous lives that I never felt the romance could muddle its way through.
Some interesting concepts were presented in this book and the author was good at following through with her thought processes and character details, but this just wasn't one for me.
If you are a fan of highly thoughtful books that revolve around introspection, this book may be a good match for you.
This review is based on the digital edition from Open Road Media and was presented to be in exchange for an honest review.
October 24, 2013
Dolores meets Victor on a train, they seduce each other without a word being spoken, fall into bed and embark on an affair loaded with baggage. They fight the baggage of many relationships and Victor's marriage in their relationship while trying to live a lifetime in the year they have together before returning to their previous lives. They fight and they love intensely. They tear each other up and put each other back together again. Both have damaged lives filled with tragedy, pain and moments, moments of pure joy, the moments that keep them moving forward.
I found much of it stereotypical, as in Delores' references to all men, but understand the author is a feminist and is passionate about her subject. Her passion and pain screamed from this novel, so often I hurt with her.
I believe Delores couldn't live with men but could not live without them and could not accept this in herself and perceived it as a flaw. The novel read a bit like Women are From Venus, Men From Mars, and should be required reading for any woman or man looking for a relationship.
Though as I neared the end of the book I, like Victor became bored with Delores' diatribes, she made her point and made her point and yet again made her point.
I found much of it stereotypical, as in Delores' references to all men, but understand the author is a feminist and is passionate about her subject. Her passion and pain screamed from this novel, so often I hurt with her.
I believe Delores couldn't live with men but could not live without them and could not accept this in herself and perceived it as a flaw. The novel read a bit like Women are From Venus, Men From Mars, and should be required reading for any woman or man looking for a relationship.
Though as I neared the end of the book I, like Victor became bored with Delores' diatribes, she made her point and made her point and yet again made her point.
February 14, 2016
Dit boek deed mij op twee gedachten hinken. Aan de ene kant beschrijft op bijna lyrische wijze de affaire die de Amerikaanse Dolores in Engeland krijgt met een daar voor zaken verblijvende landgenoot. Mooi beschreven scenes vol passie en alleen al interessant omdat in de literatuur de liefde tussen personages met volwassen kinderen onderbelicht is.
French verpest haar boek echter met paginalang gezeur over hoe slecht en onbetrouwbaar mannen wel niet zijn. Dit tot op het punt dat je denkt: wat een enorm zeurmens moet dit zijn. Zelfs als je het boek beoordeelt in het tijdsgewricht waarin het verscheen - hoogtepunt van de feministische golf - blijft al dat gemekker toch een obstakel om optimaal van dit boek te genieten.
French verpest haar boek echter met paginalang gezeur over hoe slecht en onbetrouwbaar mannen wel niet zijn. Dit tot op het punt dat je denkt: wat een enorm zeurmens moet dit zijn. Zelfs als je het boek beoordeelt in het tijdsgewricht waarin het verscheen - hoogtepunt van de feministische golf - blijft al dat gemekker toch een obstakel om optimaal van dit boek te genieten.
December 6, 2014
Zij heeft een beetje gelijk. Ik ben met haar eens, maar niet 100%.
Het is waar dat wij -de vrouwen- in een mannenwereld leven, maar zij is overgedreven. Het is niet zo zwart. Er zijn goede en slechte mannen, aan de andere kant zijn er goede en slechte vrouwen. Er zijn mannen die helemaal controle over hen vrouwen hebben, maar sommige vrouwen zijn altijd de lijders.
Nu kunnen de vrouwen hen eigen plek in het leven zelf kiezen. Het is afhankelijk aan haar, niet aan de mannen.
Het is waar dat wij -de vrouwen- in een mannenwereld leven, maar zij is overgedreven. Het is niet zo zwart. Er zijn goede en slechte mannen, aan de andere kant zijn er goede en slechte vrouwen. Er zijn mannen die helemaal controle over hen vrouwen hebben, maar sommige vrouwen zijn altijd de lijders.
Nu kunnen de vrouwen hen eigen plek in het leven zelf kiezen. Het is afhankelijk aan haar, niet aan de mannen.
August 27, 2008
The language in it, or rather the unmotivated swops between poetic aspirations and "normal novel" where quite horrible. I read it in swedish and I really do hope it was a bad translation. There's some interesting thoughts in it though.
November 1, 2016
I haven't read this book in years but I really loved it. It's at its heart a love story about two adults who meet and connect. It's not your typical romantic book, but it has a lot of feminist elements and I really learned a lot from it.
put-it-down-didn-t-pick-it-up-again
October 26, 2007This got a large proportion of 5 star reviews. I'm trying to get rid of stuff.
May 8, 2009
Great book about infidelity of adults.
March 8, 2010
I have read this book over and over. There are
no bad guys, just "good" people like us. Living the life they want but circumscribed by others. I want a Victor.
no bad guys, just "good" people like us. Living the life they want but circumscribed by others. I want a Victor.
October 29, 2011
A feminist and an old-fashioned man meet in England and fall in love, all the while knowing he must return to his wife in a year's time.
September 15, 2012
A superb book. I was tempted to give it five stars, but I am very stingy with them. :)
January 1, 2013
Somewhat bloated (are there no editors anymore?) and dated. But a good story and her character development is nice.
March 23, 2013
A good love story.
July 4, 2022
This book tells the story of Dolores and Victor two Americans who meet on a train in London and begin to have a love affair knowing both would stay there for a year only. It is not very much a love story between the two but more a showcase of how each encourages reflections and change in the other. The book blends themes of feminism, family, grief, and self-discovery and for that, I did find it quite engaging. The recurrent thought-provoking arguments between the two about patriarchy and power and the extended reminiscences of who they are as partners, parents, and people were undoubtedly what I enjoyed the most and will take with me from here on. The problem with such is that sometimes the book continuously has discussions that can feel forced and takes pages to develop on stories that feel unnecessary. I took longer than I should have to finish this because sometimes it was tedious. The conclusion is, I quite liked it but would like it more if it would just cut a few pages of I felt like futile content.
(Side note: Dolores is a strongly opinionated feminist art history teacher and Victor is a typical business man. Both well over adults with grown children and absolutely disastrous marriages. Both are a bit difficult to like a first but as the story follows you just get to learn more depth about them. Their relationship is complicated but finds its sweet and warm moments)
(Side note: Dolores is a strongly opinionated feminist art history teacher and Victor is a typical business man. Both well over adults with grown children and absolutely disastrous marriages. Both are a bit difficult to like a first but as the story follows you just get to learn more depth about them. Their relationship is complicated but finds its sweet and warm moments)
July 23, 2025
this was not easy to rate. on one hand, it's a feminist novel from the 80s, and like this it really tries to support the movement, it is also full of interesting details and remarks about interpersonal relationships, but, on the other hand, it suffers a bit from a unilateral view of the world where it comes to men and women, the plot feels sluggish, and some details even go to be a bit awkward at times.
i don't regret reading it, it was actually interesting, but i did not find it the most captivating.
is it representative somehow of the 60-70-80s period in regards to women living in some parts of the US/UK and their personal lives? it is, and like that it's good. would i generally recommend it to modern people? not necessarily, it feels only representative like that.
also, it was written by an american author, but set in the UK (at least partially) with lots of plot references in the US as well as cultural details (including using words like "patio" when referring to a garden, they are americans living in England after all), and, somehow, it feels like it represents the US more and the UK of the past. overall, i chose to look at this book as being completely set in the US, it felt more appropriate.
i don't regret reading it, it was actually interesting, but i did not find it the most captivating.
is it representative somehow of the 60-70-80s period in regards to women living in some parts of the US/UK and their personal lives? it is, and like that it's good. would i generally recommend it to modern people? not necessarily, it feels only representative like that.
also, it was written by an american author, but set in the UK (at least partially) with lots of plot references in the US as well as cultural details (including using words like "patio" when referring to a garden, they are americans living in England after all), and, somehow, it feels like it represents the US more and the UK of the past. overall, i chose to look at this book as being completely set in the US, it felt more appropriate.
March 3, 2025
I had a bit of a love hate relationship with this book. From an 80's perspective it's a feminist read, and as another reviewer said some things still ring true today, but Dolores was at times a bit much. It felt like she just couldn't get past the point of feeling like men are the worst, all of them, and wouldn't allow herself proper happiness as a result. She was giving Victor an incredibly hard time, but wasn't as open-minded necessarily about her own flaws, being more focused around feelings of guilt (which she couldn't seem to always understand that Victor resonated with and it was something they could connect on). I also didn't love the ending, it felt like the coward's way out, somehow.
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