Tak už spi

by Helen Walsh

Nový román od oceňované britské autorky je nejoriginálnějším (byť poněkud kontroverzním) literárním ztvárněním mateřství v současné anglicky psané literatuře.
Rachel Masseyová, vypravěčka románu, se má brzy stát matkou – a ta představa ji naplňuje štěstím i hrůzou zároveň, palčivě si totiž uvědomuje, že se její život od základů změní… Ještě však netuší, jak hluboká ona změna vlastně bude: brzy po narození dítěte se jí pod tlakem spánkové deprivace začnou rozmazávat hranice reality, a veškeré dřívější sny a tužby se změní v jediné přání – pořádně se vyspat.
Jak daleko však ve snaze uspat svoje novorozené dítě Rachel zajde? Román Tak už spi nabízí brutálně upřímnou a místy nesmírně bolestnou zpověď čerstvé matky, kombinující syrové emoce a břitký intelekt.

Genres: Fiction, Mental Health

224 pages, Hardcover

First published July 1, 2011

About the author

HELEN WALSH was born in Warrington in 1977 and moved to Barcelona at the age of sixteen. Working as a fixer in the red light district, she saved enough money to put herself through language school. Burnt out and broke, she returned to England a year later and now works with socially excluded teenagers in North Liverpool. Brass is her first novel.

Reviews

[Kirsty · Rating 4 out of 5]

At the moment, I am really into psychological novels and thrillers, and Helen Walsh's Go to Sleep sounded as though it would perfectly fit the bill. Whilst it was not quite what I was expecting it to be, the novel is cleverly written, with a wonderful intensity that builds throughout, until it reaches a hideous, but marvellously controlled, crescendo. We see the spiralling out of control begin with Rachel's labour, and then intensify. The first person perspective worked so well, and I found that Rachel's narrative voice punched with its realism. Go to Sleep, which tackles some very important issues, felt like an authentic portrait of a woman in real trouble; it is thought-provoking, and difficult to put down.

[Ellie · Rating 4 out of 5]

When a one night stand with an ex leaves Rachel pregnant, she decides to go ahead and have the baby by herself. She is a strong, independent woman, she will be a great mother. But as the sleepless hours tick by, she starts to resent baby Joe. Why won’t he just go to sleep?

Go To Sleep is an incredibly honest look at the stress a baby can put a woman under. Determined to cope by herself, Rachel shuts everyone else out but soon she finds how difficult things are when she has to do every little thing with a small, crying person in tow. Without support, she gets less and less sleep and the stress starts to get to her. She’s not bonding with Joe and she wishes there were something wrong with him that can be fixed. As she starts to unravel, the tension mounts and it’s a real page-turner despite the fact that not a lot really happens.

Rachel works as a social worker in Liverpool and I really liked this side of the story too. We only see a little bit of her working life before the birth but it is something she just can’t let go of. Her kids need her and whilst she is not in a position to be rescuing them, I admire her for it. I guess it’s easier for her to help them than help herself. It also highlights some of the racial tensions of the area. Joe is mixed race and Rachel suspects her father of being racist, of disapproving of her ex and shutting him out.

If I was under any doubt as to not having children, this book would be a great reminder why they are not all sunshine and roses. Women who think a baby will “fix things” should certainly read it! I’m not a huge fan of books focusing on new mothers, as they tend to be a bit sentimental or imply motherhood is the sole purpose in life for the characters, but this couldn’t be further from that. I did find the chapters covering her labour a bit much although I am sure they are more realistic than any other novel. Yes, chapters, and it’s hard for her. I read in disbelief as the hospital turned her away again and again, but I imagine busy, city-centre hospitals have to work that way. Perhaps mothers will appreciate the reality check. It’s not a bit of deep breathing and out they pop!

[Stephanie (Stepping Out Of The Page) · Rating 4 out of 5]

The idea for this book is quite simple but very interesting. The book is based around a woman, Rachel, who has just given birth for the first time and is likely suffering from post-natal depression, exaggerated by her lack of ability to sleep. It's a captivating and easy to read book though it did feel a little monotonous at times, going around in circles, but this does reflect what the protagonist is struggling with and going through. The hallucinations were written well and effectively. To me, this was the strength of the novel and really emphasised the toll that everything was having on Rachel.
I found the cultural issues quite interesting - seeing how others (particularly Rachel's father) reacted to a single white mother having a black child and also the generally diverse area that Rachel lived in.
The relationships were authentic and complex, it was very interesting to see what happened as time progressed and how they developed.
I enjoyed the writing as it did seem genuine but I am still unsure about the random swearing/cursing that seemed a little forced and was obviously there just to make an impact.
This was an interesting read and I wouldn't hesitate to read more by Walsh in the future.

[Beth (bibliobeth) · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book is three and a half stars from me. The story centres around Rachel, a woman who is pregnant and desperately looking forward to becoming a mother. However, when she gives birth, the experience is nothing like she fantasised about. This book deals with very difficult issues and some parts of the story I found quite disturbing. This was a brave choice of subject for the author and I recommend it highly.

[Ellie M · Rating 3 out of 5]

This fictional account of a woman's experience of post-natal depression was an interesting read, although perhaps not as heart-wrenching as I expected it to be. Set in Liverpool (and covering areas I know well from my time at university there) this was the story of a single mother coming to terms with becoming a mother, over a period of 3 months or so. At times it was hard reading, especially as I'm due to have my first baby in a month, but the story was still worth reading.

[Nat · Rating 5 out of 5]

Raw, visceral, detailed childbirth chapter. I waited for two years before I read this (bought while pregnant and decided to wait to read it because of my suggestible personality ha ha!) glad I did wait! Another great one from the enviable Helen Walsh. Those without children won't feel this book in the way that it's supposed to be felt - not meaning to patronise, rather warn off.

[Anja von "books and phobia" · Rating 1 out of 5]

Ja, ich bin keine Mutter und auch nicht auf dem Weg eine zu werden, trotzdem packte mich die Kurzbeschreibung so sehr, das ich mich entschied das Buch zu lesen. Zudem sprach mich das Cover mit seiner düsteren Erscheinung an. Doch konnte es mich überzeugen? Ich sage mal naja.
Auch wenn mich die Thematik nicht betrifft, hatte ich schon öfter in Serien oder Nachrichten von der Wochenbettdepression gehört und mich auch teilweise mit ihr befasst. Dies war jedoch das erste Mal das ich ein Buch darüber las. Dementsprechend hoch waren anscheinend auch meine Erwartungen, denn ich ging mit meinem gesammelten Wissen an die Geschichte ran und erwartete wohl dementsprechend viel.


Die ersten Seiten waren gelesen und ich fühlte mich wohl. Der Schreibstil war packend und die Welt um Rachel interessant. Trotzdem muss ich sagen, das sich die Autorin mit Rachel und ihrer Familie sehr komplizierte Charaktere erschaffen hat, deren Verhalten nicht vorhersehbar war. Das klingt natürlich gut, passte hier aber einfach nicht. Gerade Rachel wurde im Laufe des Buches immer mehr zum Mysterium, da sie ein Freigeist war und sich ihre Welt so zurecht packte, bis sie ihr gefiel. Man merkt bereits das ich mit der Hauptakteuren ganz schön zu kämpfen hatte und das änderte sich leider bis zum Ende nicht.


Rachel´s Vergangenheit bis zudem Punkt ihrer Schwangerschaft ist sehr eigen und ich glaube kaum, das sich viele in ihr wieder finden werden. Trotzdem freute ich mich für die Sozialarbeiterin, die mit vollem Herz an ihrem Job hang. Als es dann zur Geburt überging, nahm die Geschichte dann leider einen Verlauf an, der sehr übertrieben dargestellt wurde und den ich mir unmöglich vorstellen konnte. Das Buch erklärt in seiner Kurzbeschreibung ja, das Joseph einfach nicht schlafen will und Rachel deswegen kein Auge mehr zubekommt. Komischerweise, wurde dermaßen oft darüber berichtet, wie der kleine Mann glücklich schlief oder einfach nur vor sich her guckte.
Hier sollte wohl der psychologische Faktor angesprochen, denn Rachel handelte komplett entgegen gesetzt zum Verhalten ihres Sohnes. Wenn er schlief putzte sie die Wohnung oder weckte den kleinen Mann um ihn zu baden. Irgendwie schon sehr widersprüchlich. Zudem weigerte sie sich Hilfe anzunehmen, so sehr sie auch langsam die Nerven verlor. Kein Wunder, das sie müde war.


Der Erlösung erfolgt am Ende, das aber leider viel zu knapp abgehandelt wurde.
Allgemein gesehen fühlte ich mich im Buch recht unwohl. Der psychologische Faktor war ein einfach nicht richtig greifbar und die Charaktere waren viel zu kompliziert. Dabei soll die Autorin das Buch nach ihren eigenen Erfahrungen geschrieben haben.
Da kann ich nur hoffen, das sie jetzt ein erfüllendes Familienleben führt.


Mein Fazit


Ob glaubwürdig oder nicht, empfand ich dieses Buch nicht gerade als Offenbarung wenn es um die Thematik „Wochenbettdepression“ ging. Das Thema wurde viel zu sehr verschachtelt und hatte dazu sehr komplizierte Figuren, die mich teilweise mit Fragezeichen in den Augen sitzen ließen.

[Vicki · Rating 3 out of 5]

Rachel is an idealistic single mother who thinks she can make it on her own. Of course, she is in for a rude shock, from labour onwards. The circumstances of her baby’s fatherlessness and her own motherlessness are gradually revealed throughout the story of her first months of motherhood, and help us to understand her choices and attitudes.
When people reacted with shock to a book like Rachel Cusk’s A Life’s Work, I could only think, ‘You think that’s bad? You have NO idea!’ Post-natal depression remains poorly understood and little discussed, but gradually women novelists such as Sarah Moss (Night Waking) and now Helen Walsh are starting to lift the lid on how it really is. What no novel can capture, however, without boring its readers away, is the day upon day upon week upon month of miserable tedium experienced by the depressed mother. Walsh does capture perfectly the negativity and self-loathing of depression, which is compounded in post-natal depression by guilt over every possibly faulty action or inaction or emotion towards one’s baby. The overwhelming responsibility thrust overnight upon a person who is undergoing chronic sleep deprivation and hormonal chaos is a simply unbearable weight, and it is no surprise that Walsh’s single-mother heroine fails to shoulder it and sinks under the burden. It is hard to imagine how anyone might manage it without support - though Rachel’s refusal to read as much as one baby manual does not ring true for a university-educated social worker.
Rather than shaking or hitting her baby, she abandons him for hours on end, once with her father and once with no minder at all. By focusing on the psychotic end of the PND spectrum, Walsh has probably positioned her tale a bit beyond most people’s experience of the condition, but she is spot-on with her description of how it feels not to have slept properly for months, the mixed feelings a new mother has towards her adored but impossibly demanding baby, and the stomach-churning terror one can feel at being left alone with a newborn.
This is a pacy, supremely readable novel, and a welcome contribution to the literature of a very common mental illness. It would be all the better without sloppy grammatical constructions such as ‘I was sat’ for ‘I was sitting’, and ‘with Joe and I’ for ‘with Joe and me’.

[Vicki Swift · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book hits hard. Postnatal depression is not an easy subject to tackle, but Helen Walsh manages it deftly.

Rachel becomes a first-time mother following a one-night stand with her childhood ex-boyfriend. Her support network really only consists of her father and his new partner. She gives birth at home on her own, and from then on, we experience her spiral into despair.

The author perfectly captures all the nuances of first-time motherhood and the first-person narration sensitively portrays the gradual slip from the expected challenges to the unexpected psychological breakdown. The pace is spot on, with Rachel’s thoughts and actions building to a devastating crescendo.

Throughout the book I wondered how it was going to end, and the author made the right choice.

I’ve read two other books by Helen Walsh, and I picked this up not only because I love her writing style and brutal honesty, but because as a recent first-time mother myself I wanted to know how postnatal depression could be addressed through fiction. It’s an important subject and this is an important story, very well told.

[Kirsten · Rating 4 out of 5]

Man darf sich von Rachels leichtem Ton nicht täuschen lassen: ihre Geschichte ist es ganz und gar nicht. Helen Walsh spricht in ihrem Buch ein Thema an, das immer noch eher unter den Tisch gekehrt als offen angesprochen wird. Schon deshalb finde ich Ich will schlafen! ein sehr wichtiges Buch.

Aber Helen Walsh zeigt auch, wie die Erinnerung die Vergangenheit verklären kann. Anfangs schienen mir die Rollen in Rachels Familie klar verteilt und haben für mich vieles von ihrem Verhalten erklärt. Als sie erkennt, dass ihre Erinnerungen nicht immer der Wahrheit entsprechen, kann sie sich davon lösen und ihr eigenes Leben beginnen.

Der Weg aus einer postnatalen Depression ist sicher nicht so leicht wie Rachel ihn erzählt und selbst ihr Weg war nicht wirklich leicht. Es ist ein Weg, den man nicht alleine gehen kann und das hat die Autorin eindringlich gezeigt.

[Terézia Glatzová · Rating 3 out of 5]

The topic of this book is veru interesting to me, but I also don't know if I really liked it. Mainly because I absolutely hated the main character. I felt sorry for her, but also really hated her selfish behavior. It's important to talk about post-natal depression, I appreciated the portrail of complicated labor that can lead to it, hospital staff and other mothers putting Rachel down for using formula, also how hard it is for a single mother without help. Some scenes were a bit too extreme and irrational. It was really readable, but made me feel sick most of the time.

[Anna · Rating 3 out of 5]

Occasionally when collecting books I have requested from my library, I will spontaneously pick up a book I see on display just to 'broaden' my reading experience. This was one such book. I read through to the end as some reviewers had mentioned a 'surprise' ending. The ending was in fact a 'surprise' in that I didn't understand it at all. The writing was easy however the subject was just not within my realm of interest or experience.

[sonataiscool · Rating 4 out of 5]

wow!!!! i thought this book was super important and it shined a new light on all mothers , not just single ones , and their struggles with motherhood. the end was super dark and i felt like i was high and was thoroughly confused but im glad the little guy is alive :)

[Alex Clare · Rating 3 out of 5]

Deliberately confusing but I found the time changes got distracting.

[Gabika Szentandrasiova · Rating 2 out of 5]

2,7*

[Bally · Rating 5 out of 5]

Harrowing read

[Cathryn · Rating 3 out of 5]

An interesting concept...

First of all I will say that I did not particularly enjoy this book. I thought that Rachel was an unbearable character and found her hatred towards her own child extremely unsettling. However, I cannot fault the author on her portrayal of postnatal depression. Having not experienced having any children myself I cannot begin to relate to what Rachel was going through and that may have been why I found it so difficult to warm to her throughout the book. The woman hated her own baby and was neglectful and at times, down right abusive towards him. It was difficult not to be judgemental.

I did try not to judge Rachel too harshly as I know that postnatal depression can affect people in all sorts of ways and that she wasn't in her right mind. I mean, what mother wants to not be able to bond with their child? She wasn't being that way out of choice. But it really was disturbing to read about. Particularly towards the end of the book I found myself wanting to shake Rachel, wanting to tell her to snap out of it and that she had a child to look after. Like I said, it's difficult to read this book in a balanced way.

What I will say about Rachel is that she is not a likeable character. Even before she has her baby and the problems begin she is not likeable. She comes across as extremely angry and is resentful towards virtually every single person in her life. She hates her stepmother, has a strained relationship with her father, loathes the father of her baby and is angry with her biological mother for dying and leaving her "alone". Her relationship with the father of her baby was also very odd and in my opinion, she seemed far too hung up over a man that she had a number of brief sexual encounters with as a teenager. I understand the whole teenage heartbreak thing but the woman was now in her thirties- you would have thought that some of that anger might have faded over time? Her only redeeming quality, in my opinion, was her social work and how invested she was in the troubled teenagers that she worked with. Because of the negative qualities that Rachel already possessed, I found it even more difficult to sympathise with her and the situation that she was in.

Overall, Go to Sleep was not an enjoyable read but it was an interesting one. It addressed a subject that I had previously known very little about and that very few authors had examined in a way that was quite so raw and unyielding. In that respect, I had to give it 3 stars for the subject alone despite not particularly liking the book itself.

[Melissa · Rating 4 out of 5]

Go To Sleep is the story of single new mum Rachel who begins to suffer from insomnia after the birth of her baby, Joe. Despite feeling utterly exhausted and well meaning advice from those around her telling her "to sleep when the baby sleeps", she is unable to let herself rest. We hear from Rachel's point of view of being driven mad by a baby who is constantly hungry, crying and won't sleep, but is this the truth or is her perception being distorted by her lack of sleep? Determined to prove to those around her, the midwives, her father, friends that she is capable of looking after her baby, she refuses help and battles on until she finally breaks down.

I downgraded the rating from five star to four stars after re-reading. I first read this book in 2011 when it was first released and gobbled it up within a few days. At that point, I didn't know anyone with children or read anything about motherhood that showed it such a light. On a second read, I found Rachel pretty frustrating and unlikeable. Even before giving birth, she has a big chip on her shoulder and acts as though she is superior to everyone around her. Usually, there are some redeeming qualities or ways that an author will make you like a character despite their flaws but with Rachel I found none. That made the book slightly less enjoyable this time around.

One of the things I loved most was the way that Liverpool is almost a character itself in the book. The way Walsh describes the city and sets the scene devoid of any stereotypes you would usually associate with it, made me really want to visit.

[Sam Grove · Rating 3 out of 5]

*score is actually 3.5 stars.

I honestly don't know how to feel about this story. Without giving anything away, the ending really made me uncomfortable but also at the same time I found myself desperate to read it and I really sympathised with Rachel. Surely that's a good sign?

Rachel is pregnant from a one night stand with her first love and she's determined to raise the baby by herself. But once the baby is born, she finds herself struggling to cope and she also struggles to bond with her child. And this is where the very intelligent and very uncomfortable writing comes in. To anyone reading the book, it's clear she suffers from post-natal depression which in itself is something people don't understand. Being a parent is supposed to be beautiful and rose tinted and when someone is suffering its hard to relate to (especially when the parent has nasty thoughts about the child). But despite this, as a reader, you really feel for Rachel and I really wanted her to get better.
The writing is believable and very realistic. Every page made me want to find out more and how it was going to play out. So despite the uncomfortable nature of the subject (and especially the end events) I felt myself liking it. So I guess that is a sign of good writing and of a good book, that in spite of difficult subject matter, you still want to read it. Which is why I gave 3.5 stars.

[Wanda Hartzenberg · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is the cover of the copy I own. Much better than the one on Amazon.

I read the print copy of this book and must say my copy has a far better cover than the one displayed here.

So my review. I hate Rachel. You will be hardpressed to find a more annoying little witch of a main protagonist.
I hated her in her own flashbacks. I hated her in her on-cloud-nine pregnancy phase and although i felt sympathy for her to a degree after giving birth her attitude towards her dad etc had me hating her more and more. Yes for an "educated" woman Rachel sure is the village idiot. So since I hated her so much why did I keep reading?

Well easy enough, this is the first book on this topic in fiction format I have ever read with such a no holes barred view and description of what can go wrong with sleep deprivation. How not all woman take naturally to being a mommy and how help should be offered and at times insisted upon. The topic, the writing style, the writing and editing is amazing but Rachel is still a twit and a brat even at the age of 30!

WaAr

[Ian Mapp · Rating 4 out of 5]

Helen Walsh is my rediscovered Author. Many moons ago, I read Brass.

Then I forgot all about her until Lemon Grove. This prompted me to check out Once Upon a Time in England and now this, Go To Sleep - to complete the fiction set.

She's quite a writer.

This is a simple enough premise - Rachel has a Baby and from the title and blurb, you can see that she is having trouble coping.

It tells the story very cleverly, interspersing the modern day drama - with a growing sense of dread that make you think its going to end in major tears - with Rachels back story. This takes in the death of her mother, her relationship with the father, liverpool, race, class and of course - her relationship with the father.

Wonderfully told - with a real creeping sense of despair. The only thing I that could have improved things would have been a slight condensing of the number of pages. The modern day anguish and problems become slightly repetitive.

Looking forward to the next release - whenever and whatever it is.

[Merilyn Porter · Rating 3 out of 5]

It been a long time since I came home with my first newborn feeling dazed and sleep deprived and unsure of what lay ahead. Even still I remember those days as vividly as if it were yesterday, allowing me to completely identify with the main character of this novel Rachel, who comes home from hospital with her new baby only to discover that motherhood was a far cry from what she had imagined. Sleep deprivation is a given when you have a baby and it something new mums just have to get used to but for Rachel lack of sleep causes her to slowly lose her mind putting both her and her baby at risk. I enjoyed this book, it is an honest look at post natal depression and postpartum psychosis but I did find myself annoyed with some of Rachel’s behaviour despite her obvious suffering. I do not recommend this book to any pregnant women out there as this is a pretty grim portrayal of life with a newborn.

[Ema.Amy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Túto knihu by som zaradila ako povinné čítanie na materskej.
Obvykle dlhé recenzie nepíšem ale pri tejto knihe musím už dlhšie mi to nedá. Téma : Trauma z prirodzeného pôrodu je všeobecne považovaná za "tabu tejto spoločnosti. Predsa každá budúca mamička aj Rachel, ktorá nosí pod srdcom svoje dieťa si predstavuje aké to bude nádherné keď sa už Fazuliačik narodí, konečne ho bude držať v náručí a bezpodmienečne ho milovať. Ideálne! Ale čo ak láska neprichádza, z neustáleho vyčerpania, neutíchajúceho plaču a nedostatku spánku prídu akurát tak halucinácie, podvýživa a vrcholne nerozvážne, nezodpovedné konanie matky. Niektoré matky by ju najradšej prefackali iné ňou opovrhujú! Nedá mi to. MATKY si majú predsa pomáhať a držať spolu. Vždy je lepšie mať pri sebe niekoho na koho sa môže mama v tejto situácii spoľahnúť. Nebolo by toľko opustených detí vo svete. Kričím a plačem podajte jej už pomocnú ruku prosím * SOLIDARITY 1*

[seanat (elka) · Rating 4 out of 5]

Enjoyed this book about a single mother who struggles to bond and cope with her baby as she suffers severe sleep deprivation and probable post-natal depression. Rachel's much anticipated 'perfect' baby never seems to sleep and struggles to breast feed - leading to feelings of guilt for 'failing' at motherhood. I think many mothers can relate to Rachel's predicament when reality fails to live up to the dream.

There is a great sense of impending disaster looming through the book and we learn more about Rachel as she reflects on her troubled relationships with her parents and the father of her baby.
I have read a few similar books like this over the last couple of years - all good actually - and this didn't disappont either.

[Anna Sternberg · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very well written, the reader is transported into empathising with Rachel's loss of control and her spiralling depression and therefore it is also not a particularly enjoyable read or easy read and would be one that not everyone would like. I think a clever and useful book that doesn't make motherhood look like a calvin klein ad but possibly a bit more realistic. helps new mothers understand the sheer losses that are incurred in the transition to motherhood.

[Stephen · Rating 4 out of 5]

powerful story of rachel and her new born son joe and the effects of post natal depression and how helen walsh's word bring home the prblems of rachel and how she copes through all oher worries well worth reading

[Nicola · Rating 5 out of 5]

Really moving. Tells an important story.

[Lee Harlem Robinson · Rating 4 out of 5]

While the subject (babies, postpartum depression) didn't immediately speak to me I was, once again, drawn to Helen Walsh's dense and dramatic language and, once again, I wasn't disappointed.

[Sophia Roberts · Rating 3 out of 5]

Anyone who wants to know what postnatal depression feels like should read this book. Walsh's graphic description of a descent into 'madness' is first rate.

[Heike · Rating 2 out of 5]

at some pages a little repetitive...