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I Am Ready to Die a Violent Death
"I have huge admiration for Heiko Julien's I Am Ready To Die A Violent Death. Prose that actually feels like the 21st century. Rare. Exhilarating. I love this work." -Mark Leyner, author of the The Sugar Frosted Nutsack
100 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2012
3 people are currently reading
386 people want to read
About the author
Heiko Julien
4 books125 followersHeiko Julien (b. 1986) is an American poet, short-story writer, musician, and Internet personality. He lives in Chicago, Illinois. He is the author of the collection of poetry and prose I Am Ready to Die a Violent Death.
Heiko's stories, poetry, and essays have been published in n+1, Thought Catalog, Pop Serial, Shabby Doll House, and The Lifted Brow.
Heiko became well known in the alt lit community after his self-published ebook, also titled I Am Ready to Die a Violent Death, went viral in August 2012, drawing over 50,000 hits from various online sources. His style is often characterized by a hybrid of poetry and prose. His work has been described as being preoccupied with memes, media, and online community.
Heiko's second book, a novel, is scheduled.
Heiko's stories, poetry, and essays have been published in n+1, Thought Catalog, Pop Serial, Shabby Doll House, and The Lifted Brow.
Heiko became well known in the alt lit community after his self-published ebook, also titled I Am Ready to Die a Violent Death, went viral in August 2012, drawing over 50,000 hits from various online sources. His style is often characterized by a hybrid of poetry and prose. His work has been described as being preoccupied with memes, media, and online community.
Heiko's second book, a novel, is scheduled.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 30 reviews
March 6, 2013
(Reprinted from the Chicago Center for Literature and Photography [cclapcenter.com]. I am the original author of this essay, as well as the owner of CCLaP; it is not being reprinted illegally.)
Chicago-based Heiko Julien is part of that whole young super-duper-indie lit crowd that includes Tao Lin, Jordan Castro, Megan Boyle and more, who I'm really fascinated by precisely because they make me feel so freaking old; I like to imagine all of them hanging out on a Tuesday night at some loft party I'll never get invited to, wearing '80s sweatbands and doing coke with app developers who moonlight as supermodels. I mean, that's certainly how Julien's latest short book I Am Ready to Die a Violent Death comes off, as if you have stumbled into some real-life Wes Anderson movie, which to be clear I mean as a good thing; his writing is so sharp as to sometimes be incomprehensible, and so ridiculously self-deprecatory that you think it might actually be coming full circle and making fun of you, and that you're just too stupid to catch on. I mean, here, look...
Right? I don't know what the f-ck to do with a page like that, writing that is not quite prose and not quite poetry but a sorta drunken Twitter hybrid of the two; so I guess I'll just sit back and enjoy the ride, even though a lot of it goes over my head so fast as to give me windburn. It's like this with all these writers I just mentioned, which is what makes them simultaneously so controversial and so popular among the hipster-lit crowd in Brooklyn and at HTMLGiant; and so that makes it easy to both make fun of and take seriously Julien's work, depending on what mood you're in, because you sense that it might just be the next big wave of the arts, and that you should perhaps be a little threatened by that fact. And hey, you'll at least finally be in on some underground thing a lot sooner than it took you to catch on to the Harlem Shake. You sad, old loser.
Out of 10: 8.0, or 9.0 for fans of experimental literature
Chicago-based Heiko Julien is part of that whole young super-duper-indie lit crowd that includes Tao Lin, Jordan Castro, Megan Boyle and more, who I'm really fascinated by precisely because they make me feel so freaking old; I like to imagine all of them hanging out on a Tuesday night at some loft party I'll never get invited to, wearing '80s sweatbands and doing coke with app developers who moonlight as supermodels. I mean, that's certainly how Julien's latest short book I Am Ready to Die a Violent Death comes off, as if you have stumbled into some real-life Wes Anderson movie, which to be clear I mean as a good thing; his writing is so sharp as to sometimes be incomprehensible, and so ridiculously self-deprecatory that you think it might actually be coming full circle and making fun of you, and that you're just too stupid to catch on. I mean, here, look...
Right? I don't know what the f-ck to do with a page like that, writing that is not quite prose and not quite poetry but a sorta drunken Twitter hybrid of the two; so I guess I'll just sit back and enjoy the ride, even though a lot of it goes over my head so fast as to give me windburn. It's like this with all these writers I just mentioned, which is what makes them simultaneously so controversial and so popular among the hipster-lit crowd in Brooklyn and at HTMLGiant; and so that makes it easy to both make fun of and take seriously Julien's work, depending on what mood you're in, because you sense that it might just be the next big wave of the arts, and that you should perhaps be a little threatened by that fact. And hey, you'll at least finally be in on some underground thing a lot sooner than it took you to catch on to the Harlem Shake. You sad, old loser.
Out of 10: 8.0, or 9.0 for fans of experimental literature
January 24, 2021
There's a part in Garth Marenghi's Darkplace where the titular author says something to the effect of: "I'm one of the only authors who's written more books than he's read." Like everything in the show, it's funny for a good reason. It's known among writers that to be a good writer, you have to be an avid reader. If one doesn't read books they won't have the tools or knowledge required to be a competent writer.
This makes sense, because most of what you will learn about good prose, good storytelling, formulating ideas and visions and images and characterization and worlds and communicating them, is through reading other people doing it over the centuries. And Garth Marenghi is a terrible author. The entire show runs, at least partially, on this idea. His claim to fame might get one wondering, what would that look like? An author who didn't read books but decided to try his hand at writing fiction? How bad could that possibly be? Garth Marenghi is a fictional example, and the show is in fact brilliant. But what would it look like in real life?
The answer is right here. I Am Ready to Die a Violent Death by Heiko Julien seems to be exactly that: A book written by a person whose only reading in their entire life has probably been internet comments sections and memes. Most of what one encounters in fiction doesn't apply here: There are no characters or plots or themes or ideas, really. There are just scenes or idea fragments. Anything can work in the context of writing, if the writer is competent and talented. But like a Youtube comment section, most writing in the world is not done by professionals or people who bother to treat it as a craft. It is done by obnoxious people who think they have something to say. I'm not saying Heiko Julien is obnoxious. His writing is. When I look back on my writing from 20-30 years ago, I get the same cringing feeling I get while reading Heiko Julien's writing. I thought it was good and funny and clever and creative at the time. And so did other people. But that was before I took writing seriously, before I took reading seriously.
The nicest thing that can be said about this collection of pages is that it's sometimes funny, the way your Facebook status updates are sometimes funny. I can at least give it that. But trite trash doesn't make a good book. It doesn't make worthwhile reading material at all. Especially if it's left at that horrible stage of, "Heh, thought of this when I was high and haven't bothered to read what I wrote since." Time to publish!
This is the book you'd expect to be written by the person who doesn't read, and has no idea what good fiction, flash or otherwise, would be. If he’s read a lot of anything, it’s social media. This is the writing you’d expect of a nomadic couch-surfing hipster whose only tool for writing is his cell phone, and only literary diet is tumblr and Twitter.
If you think Facebook news feeds, or twitter, or tumblr, or Instagram are filled with literary value, this is the book for you. If you abandoned the criteria of quality and merit and distinguishable talent long ago when deciding what to read, this may be for you. If your idea of brilliant is a slew of postmodernist half-thoughts strained through a hip, dodgy, pseudo-reflective ironic detachment, this is right up your alley. Sporadic amusement makes an appearance, but is insubstantial, more often annoying than comical. This is the logical conclusion of postmodernism, and for that it should be read by all readers, writers, and armchair philosophers in danger (or guilty) of committing similar mistakes as a lesson in what not to do. This is the physical incarnation of what can only be called internet-culture comedy, and it is perhaps a pinnacle of millennial ADD and literary hipsterdom. Never have so many words come together to say so little.
This should at least give tremendous confidence to unpublished writers everywhere, for here is proof that anything and everything is of "publishing quality." Admittedly, this book was loaned to me to give me confidence that my Facebook posts warrant genuine publication, because of how they compare to the writings in this book. But I would hate for even my most arbitrary social media posts to be compared to Heiko Julien. Nothing against the guy, I'm sure he's pleasant and nice. Maybe really funny.
This makes sense, because most of what you will learn about good prose, good storytelling, formulating ideas and visions and images and characterization and worlds and communicating them, is through reading other people doing it over the centuries. And Garth Marenghi is a terrible author. The entire show runs, at least partially, on this idea. His claim to fame might get one wondering, what would that look like? An author who didn't read books but decided to try his hand at writing fiction? How bad could that possibly be? Garth Marenghi is a fictional example, and the show is in fact brilliant. But what would it look like in real life?
The answer is right here. I Am Ready to Die a Violent Death by Heiko Julien seems to be exactly that: A book written by a person whose only reading in their entire life has probably been internet comments sections and memes. Most of what one encounters in fiction doesn't apply here: There are no characters or plots or themes or ideas, really. There are just scenes or idea fragments. Anything can work in the context of writing, if the writer is competent and talented. But like a Youtube comment section, most writing in the world is not done by professionals or people who bother to treat it as a craft. It is done by obnoxious people who think they have something to say. I'm not saying Heiko Julien is obnoxious. His writing is. When I look back on my writing from 20-30 years ago, I get the same cringing feeling I get while reading Heiko Julien's writing. I thought it was good and funny and clever and creative at the time. And so did other people. But that was before I took writing seriously, before I took reading seriously.
The nicest thing that can be said about this collection of pages is that it's sometimes funny, the way your Facebook status updates are sometimes funny. I can at least give it that. But trite trash doesn't make a good book. It doesn't make worthwhile reading material at all. Especially if it's left at that horrible stage of, "Heh, thought of this when I was high and haven't bothered to read what I wrote since." Time to publish!
This is the book you'd expect to be written by the person who doesn't read, and has no idea what good fiction, flash or otherwise, would be. If he’s read a lot of anything, it’s social media. This is the writing you’d expect of a nomadic couch-surfing hipster whose only tool for writing is his cell phone, and only literary diet is tumblr and Twitter.
If you think Facebook news feeds, or twitter, or tumblr, or Instagram are filled with literary value, this is the book for you. If you abandoned the criteria of quality and merit and distinguishable talent long ago when deciding what to read, this may be for you. If your idea of brilliant is a slew of postmodernist half-thoughts strained through a hip, dodgy, pseudo-reflective ironic detachment, this is right up your alley. Sporadic amusement makes an appearance, but is insubstantial, more often annoying than comical. This is the logical conclusion of postmodernism, and for that it should be read by all readers, writers, and armchair philosophers in danger (or guilty) of committing similar mistakes as a lesson in what not to do. This is the physical incarnation of what can only be called internet-culture comedy, and it is perhaps a pinnacle of millennial ADD and literary hipsterdom. Never have so many words come together to say so little.
This should at least give tremendous confidence to unpublished writers everywhere, for here is proof that anything and everything is of "publishing quality." Admittedly, this book was loaned to me to give me confidence that my Facebook posts warrant genuine publication, because of how they compare to the writings in this book. But I would hate for even my most arbitrary social media posts to be compared to Heiko Julien. Nothing against the guy, I'm sure he's pleasant and nice. Maybe really funny.
August 29, 2012
I Am Ready To Die A Violent Death is only 21 pages long. Each page is a chapter and none of the chapters takes up an entire page. You can read this story in not much time. Though I call it a story only out of habit. I suppose it is a story. It seems to be an entirely new sort.
I don't understand. Is this what really good lit blogs look like? Is this what comes after post-modernism? I want to declare this little story/treatise the greatest work of the last 12 years but since it's only the first thing I've read circa 2012 I'm a worthless declarer.
And I wish I could write like this. To put down only what are my deepest truths. Heiko Julien, you are the writer of our generation. I'm scared to read any of your other stuff in case it's not nearly as good. Or what if it was better? That would be terrible in a strange way, too.
There's a clear voice, a protagonist. He is delineated as Other. Individual. Just Your Next Door Neighbor. Or, The Guy You Happen To Sit Beside On The Subway On The Way To Work. But his identity is close to ours. He's one of our kind. Another Child of God. Heiko Julien takes us through the looking glass to a vantage point from which we can look back, as though through a cloudy and swirling mirror, in order to see, in the rich other-world of his work, the inversions of our world while simultaneously maintaining eye-contact with the reality of our still very real world. Thus the magical comparisons Julien evokes between the extremes of contemporary existence while somehow hanging on to the history that has led up hereinto so that we can so clearly see ourselves in our time and place. When the experiences of the protagonist are painted in such beautiful strokes, the need for irony goes out the window. Revealing that all along it has been another mere device, the wonderfully portrayed inversions of empirical existence render irony unnecessary. They take its place in the form of really good beautiful art.
To give just a brief idea of this very-short work, there's this protagonist who is also closely associated with the reader, and then there's his Girl, his Woman, his Fantasy, and she's related to the speaker in such a profoundly veridical way that she seems, after this fashion, to be so intimately related to us.
Heiko Julien made me feel like an American more so than any person or work of art ever has. I don't know what it means to be an American. Heiko Julien, I love you like a rabbit loves the fear.
I don't understand. Is this what really good lit blogs look like? Is this what comes after post-modernism? I want to declare this little story/treatise the greatest work of the last 12 years but since it's only the first thing I've read circa 2012 I'm a worthless declarer.
And I wish I could write like this. To put down only what are my deepest truths. Heiko Julien, you are the writer of our generation. I'm scared to read any of your other stuff in case it's not nearly as good. Or what if it was better? That would be terrible in a strange way, too.
There's a clear voice, a protagonist. He is delineated as Other. Individual. Just Your Next Door Neighbor. Or, The Guy You Happen To Sit Beside On The Subway On The Way To Work. But his identity is close to ours. He's one of our kind. Another Child of God. Heiko Julien takes us through the looking glass to a vantage point from which we can look back, as though through a cloudy and swirling mirror, in order to see, in the rich other-world of his work, the inversions of our world while simultaneously maintaining eye-contact with the reality of our still very real world. Thus the magical comparisons Julien evokes between the extremes of contemporary existence while somehow hanging on to the history that has led up hereinto so that we can so clearly see ourselves in our time and place. When the experiences of the protagonist are painted in such beautiful strokes, the need for irony goes out the window. Revealing that all along it has been another mere device, the wonderfully portrayed inversions of empirical existence render irony unnecessary. They take its place in the form of really good beautiful art.
To give just a brief idea of this very-short work, there's this protagonist who is also closely associated with the reader, and then there's his Girl, his Woman, his Fantasy, and she's related to the speaker in such a profoundly veridical way that she seems, after this fashion, to be so intimately related to us.
Heiko Julien made me feel like an American more so than any person or work of art ever has. I don't know what it means to be an American. Heiko Julien, I love you like a rabbit loves the fear.
December 12, 2013
Instead of writing a review of this book, I'd much rather go and read it again. I probably will, but I feel I should say something about it. That isn't easy, though. This is not an easily described book, though I really dug it. It seems so non-serious, and maybe sometimes it is. But, you'd be a fool to dismiss it that easily. It's human, intensely intimate, and an animal all it's own. It gives me the same feeling as pondering a koan. I couldn't classify this if I tried, because it's bitter tea that pains me so anyway, but I'd read it again either way.
February 3, 2017
not all bad
tbh the best thing about this was the title
tbh the best thing about this was the title
October 6, 2018
From the first page I really really wanted to critique this book for many reasons but it hit me in a way I can’t explain and by the last page I just couldn’t bring myself to hate any part of it
February 1, 2014
If you are truly ready to live, you must be ready to die.
December 24, 2018
meme pr0se made me laugh & feel
June 22, 2013
There are some parts of this text that are amusing, but that's all. Just a little amusing, maybe the same level of amusement I might feel when reading a silly headline while scrolling through google news. What would be interesting, or impressive, or even inspiring, is if he'd take a risk and actually work on some of the ideas he has here, developing them, editing out the bad, making something more.
January 23, 2014
I thought this was excellent. At times humorous, at times profound, and oftentimes both.
August 26, 2017
The book reads as though I'm reading an internet tumblr post half of the time, and the two best parts are when the author tells a story instead of doing what is considered modern day poetry, which to me, seems to just be a collection of thoughts a one liners that sound like something mike birbiglia would spout out
August 13, 2024
“no one has ever gotten more people to feel sorry for them than kurt cobain except for anne frank” made me want to throw this book in the trash.
i love the title and there were a few compelling moments for me throughout but it mostly felt like edge lord ramblings hallow of any real thoughtfulness or intention.
i love the title and there were a few compelling moments for me throughout but it mostly felt like edge lord ramblings hallow of any real thoughtfulness or intention.
March 6, 2021
I laughed so much reading this, and I really needed that.
January 24, 2024
3.5 stars
March 27, 2024
Early 2010’s Tumblr style poetry and faux-edgy vibes.
May 8, 2014
You know how dogs arent really smiling, theyre just panting? and they dont really kiss you, they just lick your face because they like salt? a lot of things are like that. i am like that
people like dogs because they usually look happy. you can do this too. dogs arent always happy and neither are you
there are a lot of things i really really want so i am smiling. i am smiling like i dont want to die alone we are smiling at each other like we dont want to die alone. this is probably the right thing to do
The poem above is from the first page and it is what made me want to read this book more. This book defines modern poetry: it is not about flowery, sweet and romanticizing words anymore, now it is about raw emotion.
It was very funny but also very serious. I liked how he sounded like he was rambling, in a page he jumps from one idea to another, which felt like I was being told various stories. While I was reading, I never stopped laughing.
This was my favorite part.
a timeless boyfriend will love you forever. a thymeless boyfriend lacks spice and has poor thyming in bed. haha
(Don't tell me puns don't make you laugh. He even added a "haha" like he was very pleased at his own joke.)
people like dogs because they usually look happy. you can do this too. dogs arent always happy and neither are you
there are a lot of things i really really want so i am smiling. i am smiling like i dont want to die alone we are smiling at each other like we dont want to die alone. this is probably the right thing to do
The poem above is from the first page and it is what made me want to read this book more. This book defines modern poetry: it is not about flowery, sweet and romanticizing words anymore, now it is about raw emotion.
It was very funny but also very serious. I liked how he sounded like he was rambling, in a page he jumps from one idea to another, which felt like I was being told various stories. While I was reading, I never stopped laughing.
This was my favorite part.
a timeless boyfriend will love you forever. a thymeless boyfriend lacks spice and has poor thyming in bed. haha
(Don't tell me puns don't make you laugh. He even added a "haha" like he was very pleased at his own joke.)
July 7, 2013
I 're-read' this work, like, weekly, at least. And by re-read I mean re-listen to. I prefer the audio version because let's face it: a computerized voice reading the text to me isn't that far off from the computerized voice in my head other than the voice in my head sometimes reads the words out of order or with inconsistent pronunciation.
This is possibly the best work of 2011 as far as written words are concerned. 2012? When did this come out? Whatever year that was. And I'm not just saying that because I'm a fierce advocate of Heiko Julien chat rooms on fb or because I'm Heiko Julien's e-friend. Heiko's writing has something valuable to say. It speaks of the confused mess of living and extracts from it focus and Ricki Lake. Imagine fitting Ricki Lake through a 2-ft. PVC pipe. Just imagine that for a moment. I like to think about that sometimes.
I find myself thinking about various parts of this poem sporadically throughout the day. It's as if it has embedded itself into my thought-vernacular. Pyramid symbol, pyramid symbol.
This is possibly the best work of 2011 as far as written words are concerned. 2012? When did this come out? Whatever year that was. And I'm not just saying that because I'm a fierce advocate of Heiko Julien chat rooms on fb or because I'm Heiko Julien's e-friend. Heiko's writing has something valuable to say. It speaks of the confused mess of living and extracts from it focus and Ricki Lake. Imagine fitting Ricki Lake through a 2-ft. PVC pipe. Just imagine that for a moment. I like to think about that sometimes.
I find myself thinking about various parts of this poem sporadically throughout the day. It's as if it has embedded itself into my thought-vernacular. Pyramid symbol, pyramid symbol.
May 6, 2015
Reading this is literally more fun than going to a party. It's alive. It feels like a privilege and a treat. I know Julien is influenced by Leyner and that definitely shows in the best way. The cultural commentary is relevant, spot on and funny, accessible yet abstract. Seriously, I could read this over and over. Julien was obviously born to write and entertain. Can't wait for his second book.
November 21, 2016
Gosh, I really just did not like this and I'm looking forward to reading about why people did like it. So disjointed that it was tough to put together... and I'm not convinced that there was much of any import to put together if I could have even done it.
But I might just not understand / possibly hate poetry.
But I might just not understand / possibly hate poetry.
January 13, 2013
Heiko has a mind like no other, and every page of this was a surprise. he takes you on twists and turns with each sentence, making you laugh in alarm. I was reading selections of this out loud to my friends and they loved it. Definitely one of my favorites :)
September 26, 2014
Different. Very Twitter/Tumblr post like. It's fascinating that I want to read it again but then this book also kind of mocks me for being stupid because I didn't get every idea Heiko's trying to convey when I first read this. Over all. A waste of time.
September 4, 2012
Amazing
December 9, 2013
F I V E
* * * * *
S T A R S
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S T A R S
January 27, 2014
i really love this book i find heiko's writing smart and relatable and funny and good
not-interested
November 5, 2015doesn't seem like my kind of poetry but it needs to be said: this cover is fucking gorgeous.
July 1, 2016
i did not want this book to end
November 20, 2016
"the secret to my decent quality of life?" hits me right in the soul.
December 17, 2013
I felt very excited when I read the ending of this book it was very inspiring
April 30, 2015
I dunno. It was odd. I liked it though.
MIght have some more fleshed out thoughts later
MIght have some more fleshed out thoughts later
Displaying 1 - 30 of 30 reviews