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First published September 30, 2013

"Butterflies?" he smiled.
"What?" ….
"Do I give you butterflies?"
"No, Torin," I lied through my teeth. "You don't give me butterflies."
"You sure?"
"I think the noble thing for me to do would be to step back and let you have your space, but I don't want to give you space… I want to be in that space with you."
Torin embodied the sensitive, emotional side that all women inherently desires, yet at the same time he was wholly masculine, to the point of cliff jumping and killing and cooking his own food. He was a complete conundrum.
"This is what you do to me, Darby." Scooping up my free hand, he placed the flat palm of it onto his chest. "That kiss may have been my "I love you," but this is my, 'Holy crap, if that was just a kiss, sex might kill me.'"

And since I didn’t do a very good job knowing what I needed—having up and left Quarry Summit, having repainted a wall in a house that I no longer even inhabited—I thought Torin was a good person to make those decisions for me. I needed someone to guide me.

"I don't want to take any of them out. They look so perfect like this."
"I don't think anyone would notice," Torin said, and that statement pulled all the wind out of my sails.
"That stinks, Torin." I shut my eyes and swallowed hard, breathing in. "That completely stinks that you could remove one of these very integral pieces to the puzzle and no one would notice."
A cautious smile spread across his face and he added, "Plus, you might make fun of me for this- there are a few other quotes I'd like to say to you before we actually 'do it.'"
"Oh yeah?" My interest piqued. "And what would those be?"
Even though it was nearly black, the floodlight we'd used as we painted the wall cast curved shadows across the room, creating its own painting of light and dark. Torin's profile was illuminated and I could see his Adam's apple pull up and down in his throat, as the ball at the back of his jaw pulsed. Nerves rose to the surface and took the form of a slight twitch of his lip and a tightening of his mouth.
"As long as we both shall live."
Torin: "I hope."
Darby: "Plan. Hope. Isn't that the same?"
Torin: "No. One involves expectancy. The other involves optimism."