The Broken and the Whole: Discovering Joy after Heartbreak

by Charles S. Sherman

A powerful, inspiring memoir in the vein of When Bad Things Happen to Good People about the wisdom a rabbi gained after his young son suffered a catastrophic brain stem stroke that left him quadriplegic and dependent on a ventilator for each breath.As a young, ambitious rabbi at one of New York’s largest synagogues, Charles Sherman had high hopes for what his future would hold—a happy and healthy family, professional success, and recognition. Then, early one morning in 1986, everything changed. His son Eyal spiked a fever and was soon in serious respiratory distress. Doctors discovered a lesion on the four-year-old’s brain stem. Following high-risk surgery, Eyal suffered a catastrophic stroke. Sherman and his wife later learned that their son would never walk, talk, feed himself, or breathe on his own again—yet his mind was entirely intact. He was still the curious, intelligent boy they had always loved. Rabbi Sherman found himself confronting life’s biggest questions: To what lengths should parents go to protect their children? How can we maintain faith in God when tragedies like this occur? Is it possible to experience joy after heartbreak?

Now, with deep insight, refreshing honesty, humor, and intelligence, Rabbi Charles Sherman reflects back on his life and describes his struggle to address and ultimately answer these questions. The Broken and the Whole is a moving and affecting meditation on rebuilding your life when everything you’ve known has been shattered to pieces.

224 pages, Kindle Edition

First published March 11, 2014

Reviews

[J L's Bibliomania · Rating 4 out of 5]

In early September the blog Zeh Lezeh (For One Another), which focuses primarily on disability and inclusion advocacy in the Jewish community, published a entry by Rabbi Charles S. Sherman about his son Eyal, who suffered a stroke after childhood surgery to remove a benign tumor from his brain stem. I think I had also seen an article in the local Jewish newspaper about Eyal and Rabbi Sherman's 2014 book The Broken and the Whole. I was looking for something suitably Jewish to read on Yom Kippur, and luckily enough, my local library had a copy.

The book was a quick read (I finished in a day, and didn't even give up my Yom Kippur nap). However, while the book has more details, I felt like it didn't add all that much to the 2 articles about Eyal I had previously read. Rabbi Sherman did include some interesting connections to Torah, but nothing that I find myself remembering and thinking about further once I put down the book.

I recommend that people seek out Eyal Sherman's story, as it is one of presuming competence, inclusion, and personal success in small ways. But if time is elusive, I recommend that you look for an article-length synopsis, perhaps this one in Kolot, instead of investing the time in The Broken and the Whole.

[Emjay Luby · Rating 5 out of 5]

I found this to be a moving memoir of a family who sacrificed greatly to care for and nourish their severely handicapped son, Eyal. Although he could move nothing more than his mouth (he couldn't speak) and required around-the-clock care, his parents, Rabbi Charles and Leah Sherman, helped him to experience life to the fullest. He went to school, to malls and museums, graduated from Syracuse University, attends synagogue, and keeps up with current events. He is an amazing young man (now 32) because his parents never gave up on him.

Rabbi Sherman tells of the heartache, pain, joy, and lessons learned from caring for Eyal. In doing so, he gently encourages the reader to connect with others, give, have faith, persevere, be grateful,and have joy through trials.

I was especially touched by the way Rabbi Sherman and his wife were committed to keeping their marriage strong through it all. They learned to laugh even in the darkest of times, to find comfort in one another, and never, ever let their heartache and burdens become justification to turn on each other.

[Marika · Rating 4 out of 5]

Rabbi Charles Sherman puts a name and a face to the concept that bad things indeed happen to good people. The Sherman's young son Eyal becomes ill at the age of 4 and after surgery suffers a catastrophic stroke. The stroke leaves Eyal unable to speak, move, feed himself or even breathe on his own. Told that he would not survive, the Sherman's take their son home and begin a courageous journey into discovering who they really are and how strong they are. This book is a *rubber meets the road* type of book...it's very easy to spout platitudes about optimism, while never having endured any trials. This book will appeal to readers who've read Harold S. Kushner's *When Bad Things Happen to Good People*.

[Susan Adler · Rating 5 out of 5]

I often check the new book shelves at the library to see if there is anything in the 296's (Jewish stuff in Dewey land.) Last week I saw one title on the shelf and picked it up. Turned out it was a book by the father of one of Elisabeth's good friends from JTS. Rabbi Charles Sherman has written a small masterpiece. It should take it's rightful place in all Jewish (and human) libraries but I hope it never stays on the shelf for long. It should be read by everyone who lives a life where both bad and good things happen. The chapter on Marriage should be required reading for all couples. Thank you Rabbi Sherman.

[Nancy · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is Wolf Blitzer's review. I could not agree more. I certainly could not say it better: This is truly an unforgettable and amazing story--heart-wrenching, inspiring, and ultimately reassuring. There's no denying the searing pain of heartbreak but also no denying the strength of the human spirit to carry on. I can't imagine a person that this wonderful book won't touch. I loved reading every page.

~~Wolf Blirzer~~

I was quite grateful to author Charles S. Sherman for insights I gained into the Jewish faith while reading this wonderful book.

[Elephas · Rating 5 out of 5]

Moving, touching and a great reminder to always be content and at peace with each moment regardless of what your going through. I hope Eyal is doing well. Truly, we are never alone and God is Great and always with us and hear and answer our Prayers at His time which is the Best for us. He is the All-Knowing while we know not. I wish Rabbi Sherman family well and peace. Your story have shown and inspired me the human spirit and endurance to always be loving and caring for one another regardless of the circumstances that befalls you.

[Cara · Rating 5 out of 5]

Unbelieveable story of our friend Erez's family. Grab some tissues.

[Melissa · Rating 3 out of 5]

A rabbi relates how taking care of his totally dependent son from the son's age of five with his wife taught him more than seminary school and engaging with others as a rabbi.

[Rosie · Rating 4 out of 5]

A life affirming story of a family's struggle to care for their severely disabled son, and how they continue to celebrate life in the face of those struggles.

[Sharon · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5 stars Very inspiring story of finding gratitude in life despite very difficult circumstances, with religious references.

[Mina Herz]

Jewish author - good - I don’t resonate with anything relating to suffering that isn’t written by either a Jew or a Russian

[Lyn · Rating 5 out of 5]

A Book of Hope and Peace
Most of us will face tragedy and trauma in our lives. The Broken and the Whole offers you hope on how not to just survive but how to learn to thrive again. Encouragement abounds and hope follows. This is a well written book that is meant to be read and savored. I read it and sat it down so I could absorb the ideas being shared. May reading this book bring you the peace and joy that reading it brought me. NetGalley and Scribner provided an advanced review copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

[Kristine · Rating 5 out of 5]

The book was very personal and uplifting. The author does not sugar coat his feelings in this, making the book real. The book drove home the message that the circumstances of your life at a singular point in time do not have to define everything in your life. You have a choice to go on and adapt.

[Rachel · Rating 3 out of 5]

Read my review at http://www.thereportergroup.org/Artic...