The Housewife Assassin's Vacation to Die For

The Housewife Assassin #5

by Josie Brown

IN BOOK 5 OF THE HOUSEWIFE ASSASSIN SERIES:

A nude sunbathing serial killer, a Lord of the Flies 'tween takeover, poison-dart throwing pygmies......

Talk about a fantasy (nightmare?) island!

An NSA scientist has disappeared with a deadly plague virus. Donna and Jack must find him before it is unleashed on Fantasy island, home of three very different resorts:

Like Kamp KidStuff, where families frolic among dolphins, cartoon characters, and warring gangs of tweens who believe in the law of the jungle--including human sacrifices ;

And Eden Key, a nude singles sanctuary where tiki-hut tree houses provide the perfect setting for rum-fueled romances and casual hook-ups—not to mention the occasional swinger slashing…

Finally, there's the Hunt Club, which allows its members to track a very unique, soon-to-be extinct prey.

And you call this a vacation?

Genres: Mystery, Cozy Mystery, Romance, Fiction, Cozy, Action, Romantic Suspense

230 pages, Kindle Edition

First published August 13, 2013

About the author

Josie Brown's forty-two novels are now in the hands of over two million readers.

She has been published by St. Martin's Press, Simon & Schuster, HarperCollins Publishers, Penguin Books.

Read Josie’s books. You’ll get a good idea of her sense of humor. https://www.JosieBrown.com

You'll also find Josie on
Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/JosieBrownCA
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/josiebrownau...
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/josiebrownn...

Visit her podcast, where she discusses writing with other authors:
http://bit.ly/AuthorProvocateurApple

Josie is the author of these novels:

The Housewife Assassin Novel Series, including
- Handbook (Book 1)
- Guide to Gracious Killing (Book 2)
- Killer Christmas Tips (Book 3)
- Relationship Survival Guide (Book 4)
- Vacation to Die For (Book 5)
- Recipes for Disaster (Book 6)
- Hollywood Scream Play (Book 7) [2014, Signal Press]
- Killer App (Book 8) [August 2014, Signal Press]
- Hostage Hosting Tips (Book 9)
- Garden of Deadly Delights (Book 10)
- Tips for Weddings, Weapons, and Warfare Hosting Tips (Book 11)
- Husband Hunting Hints (Book 12)
- Ghost Protocol (Book 13)
- Terrorist TV Guide (Book 14)
- Deadly Dossier (Book 15 - SERIES PREQUEL)
- Greatest Hits (Book 16 )
- Fourth Estate Sale (Book 17 )
- Horrorscope (Book 18 )
- White House Keeping Seal of Approval (Book 19)
- Assassination Vacation Tips (Book 20)
- Antisocial Media Tips (Book 21)
- Manners, Missiles & Mayhem (Book 22)
- Gambit (Book 23)
- Underwater Assets (Book 24)

The Candidate (Steamy Political Thriller)

Extracurricular - 3 episodic Novels (2020; Signal Press)

Totlandia - 8 episodic Novels (2014-2017; Signal Press)

The Baby Planner
[2011, Simon & Schuster]

The Housewife Assassin Gets Lucky (written with Deborah Coonts)

Secret Lives of Husbands and Wives
[2010, Simon & Schuster 2014 Signal Press]]

Hollywood Hunk (Book 1 - True Hollywood Lies)
[2005, HarperCollins; 2010 Signal Press]

Her novel, Secret Lives of Husbands and Wives (Simon & Schuster), is being produced by Jerry Bruckheimer as a dramatic series for NBC-TV.

She is also the author of three non-fiction books: The Complete Idiot's Guide to Finding Mr. Right [Penguin/Alpha]; Marriage Confidential: 102 Honest Answers to the Questions Every Husband Wants to Ask, and Every Wife Needs to Know [Signal Press]; and Last Night I Dreamt of Cosmopolitans: A Modern Girl's Dream Dictionary [St. Martin's Press]

Before becoming a full-time novelist, Josie also worked in advertising (JWT, DDB/Needham, BBM&B) and radio (WPLO-AM, Atlanta; WZGC-FM, Atlanta).

As a journalist, Josie has interviewed Maya Angelou, Brenda Blethyn, Julian Bond, Kenneth Branagh, Jackie Collins, Costa-Gavras, Craig Ferguson, John Gray, Derek Jacobi, Debbie Reynolds, and John Woo. Her celebrity interviews and relationships trends articles have been featured in Los Angeles Times Syndicate International, Redbook, and Complete Woman, as well as AOL, Yahoo, AskMen.com, Divorce360.com, and SingleMindedWomen.com, where she serves as the Relationships Channel editor.

Josie's interviews for her podcast, Author Provocateur, and for the International Thriller Writers magazine THE BIG THRILL include such notable authors as David Baldacci, Samantha M. Bailey, C.J. Box, Allison Brennan, Lee Child, Deborah Coonts, Robert Dugoni, Barry Eisler, JT Ellison, Liz Fenton and Lisa Steinke, Tess Gerritsen, Andrew Gross, Kristan Higgins, Jon Land, John Lescroart, John Lutz, James Rollins, Hank Phillippi Ryan, Brad Thor, and Debra Webb.

Although born and raised (a Southern expression) in and around Atlanta, Georgia, Josie is proudly one-hundred percent Puerto Rican: her father was born in Ponce, and her mother was from Humacao. Does this make Josie a Georgiarican? She thinks so, and proudly claims that title.

She now lives in San Francisco with her husband and two children.

Reviews

[Josie Brown · Rating 5 out of 5]

Dear Readers,

Wow. I have to say, I had so much fun with THE HOUSEWIFE ASSASSIN'S Vacation to Die For! It's the fifth book of the series. Those of you who have followed it from the first novel have certain expectations, I I hope I've met them. As with the other books, I've mixed humor with pathos, family with the work of a professional assassin--

And something else: a vacation that is anything but.

We've all been there, right? We take up our boss's offer of a paid vacation in some exotic paradise -- in this case, Fantasy Island -- only to discover that we'll be working all the time.

In Donna's case, that means a hit--or stopping one.

Or perhaps it means tracking down someone the government wants to keep an eye on.

Or being tracked, as prey, in a deadly game of life and death.

With or without children tagging along, so many things can go wrong--and in this case, they do!

I've also introduced two new characters, who I feel you'll enjoy. First, there is Dominic Fleming, a British Acme operative whose shaken and stirred resemblance to James Bond both titillating to every woman who meets him...

Even Donna? Well, yes and no.

And yes, it has repercussions for Donna and Jack.

Then there's financial kingpin, Lee Chiffray, a man whose business dealings seem to crisscross those of the Quorum. Is he just a man in the wrong place -- Fantasy Island -- at the wrong time?

I spent my vacation with this wonderful cast of characters. I hope you'll enjoy the hours you spend with them as well.

Stay out of the water,

:)
-- Josie Brown

http://tinyurl.com/havtdfamz

[Kitten Peters · Rating 5 out of 5]

Awesome book

White sand", beautiful water, crocodiles,and murder. What else do you need on Fantasy Island. Josie Brown sure knows how to capture your are and keep you turning those pages

[Brenda · Rating 5 out of 5]

Another great housewife assassin assignment.

With the three children off to camps for a few weeks, Acme's latest assignment for Donna Stone & her team on Fantasy Island should be quite easy to accommodate.

With all the influences of classic TV Fantasy Island, but with a few twists, it is easy smiles offsetting the hunt to recover plague samples from some pretty nasty people and an old crocodile.

Add the complication of neighbors, and Donna's kids all arriving on Fantasy Island as the time is running out on the mission, it takes everyone stepping up to get the job done and keep Donna alive.

[Jessica Berry · Rating 4 out of 5]

Fun setting, a little confusing

I loved the whole ACME heading for a tropical vacation together, but I was definitely confused by the plot. I couldn't keep the characters straight, and the coincidences were really forced. However, as usual, this series is fun and funny and thrilling.

[Anika · Rating 5 out of 5]

School is out, Mary is going to her last camping trip with her besties but isn’t really all that excited to go. Jeff goes on his trip with his best pals who parent is Penelope Bing, Donna’s fri-enemy. And Trisha is also going to be with her best friend Janie while her mother is with her new boyfriend. So that leaves Donna and Jack free for a Vacation too but theirs is all business on Fantasy Island. Now I know what you are thinking and once Donna arrived there on the island I too thought it too about the old TV series show called “Fantasy Island” and host and his personal assistant lives up to it. But the island isn’t all fun and games. You have three main sections, Kamp Kidstuff, Eden Key and Hunt Club.

Each has its unique activity/pleasure. The mission though is to find a missing NSA Scientist with his deadly plague virus before they can be released on any of the three resorts. But things keep getting in the way. Some are her kids who end up on the island with her and others are the activities that held at this resort. Will Donna survive?

Donna is going to need a vacation from the vacation but a must read to see how it all turns out.

[Dee Haddrill · Rating 4 out of 5]

I nearly gave this book up near the beginning. Finally, Carl appears to be off the scene, following his apparent death at the end of the last book, and are Jack and Donna free to be happy??? No, let's just introduce another (this time, essentially pointless) love triangle. For me, love triangles are a huge turn off. However, this gets resolved pretty quickly, and the book is there on a joy as always. The characters are funny and, after the previous four books, are a part of your family. The love scenes are not super steamy but more loving (which is by no means a problem), and the writing is great. I definitely look forward to reading the next book!

[Erika · Rating 5 out of 5]

Donna's kids are away on summer vacation! All she wants is a romantic weekend with her pseudo husband Jack, er, Carl, no Jack. What she gets is a mission to retrieve a killer plague from a vacation paradise. A run in with a Sasquatch, poisonous darts, an international playboy with a pension for making Jack jealous and oh yeah, her kids.

It's a wild ride with plenty of laughs. Josie Brown has done it again. If you love fun, excitement, hot men and plenty of laughs this is a must for your To Be Read list.

[PJ Lea · Rating 4 out of 5]

Vacations can be murder.

Missions are never straightforward for Donna and Jack, even in Paradise.
The tips at the beginning of each chapter are as informative as always. The characters are all larger than life and well detailed. The story is a fun romp and has twists and turns galore, introducing new and old while racing along at a fair clip. Equal thriller and comedy.

[Linda Caward · Rating 4 out of 5]

Okay, had this one figured out long before Donna, Jack and the rest of the Acme agents. Does that make me a super agent? No, this book was pretty predictable. Have to wait until volume 6 is released...sometime this month.

[Nancy Houck · Rating 5 out of 5]

Fun And Games keep Coming

I get so caught up in Donna, Jack, and gang, that I just want to keep reading right into the next books. The right mix of intrigue, sex, fashion, and French to make a mom's life far from boring. Rock on Donna.

[Sally · Rating 5 out of 5]

Quite the fun romp.
Josie knows that nothing will motivate a mom like the idea of her kids being in danger. This vacation might just kill our housewife, but she's going to make sure her kids are safe.

Finished this book months ago. I will re-read the series.

[Fred · Rating 4 out of 5]

I love Josie Brown's books. They are just so much fun! This one was as good as the others I've read. I tried to slow down my reading so I could enjoy it longer. I'm slowly working my way through the series because I don't want them to end. I hope she keeps on writing them!

[Paula · Rating 4 out of 5]

easy to read. fun. flirtatious. fantastic. love the characters. I want them as neighbors. PS..... I love pie! :)

[Robin perez · Rating 4 out of 5]

Loved it. I think she gets better and better with each book. Funny and sometimes too real with what is going on in the world. The best parts are her hints.

[Susan · Rating 4 out of 5]

Another fun book, really enjoyed it.

[Melissa Doeing · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great

I love all the books in this series. After reading the first I haven't been able to stop. Can't wait to start the next.

[Kris · Rating 3 out of 5]

Continues to be fun reading. Has an interesting use of libraries.

[Jenna · Rating 5 out of 5]

that's one helluva vacation!

[Karen Devine · Rating 4 out of 5]

Donna and crew!

Loved the characters and the setting in this book. Lots of action, never lets you down. Fast, easy reading for summer!

[Y.I. Washington · Rating 2 out of 5]

Disappointing

There were so many issues with this story. First off, the author got an acronym wrong and continued to use it. Second, the blatant rip off of Casino Royale should've been spotted by one or more of the characters. I mean, come on, they are all supposed to be brilliant in some way. Thirdly, the story was beyond predictable. I usually read these books in a day. This one took about 3 or 4 because it was like eating a jawbreaker.

I can't state the other issues without giving away other spoilers. I am taking a break from this series. If I'm ever in need of stories that are just ridiculous, then maybe I'll pick up with book 6.

[Sue · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was a good, but not great one in the series. I liked that Donna spent more time worried about her kids and 2/3rds of the the kids acted up and behaved like regular/wild/naughty preteens. The book was a bit longer that some and I felt the plot got a bit twisted several times, but I still really liked Jack and Donna, though I felt some of the actions and the setting quite improbable. The couplke is still working for a covert agency that wants to protect America. The fact that the bad guys showed up at the end means that there is more work to do.

[Frank Roberto · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book.

I’m going to give any spoilers, but when I started reading this book I started thinking of a television show that some people might remember. One of the differences that I noticed right away was the names were slightly changed.

This book had what I thought was an interesting twist. Towards the end the author brings back a character that was thought to no longer being in the books. In the end, it was not that character.

[Melissa · Rating 2 out of 5]

Maybe it's because I couldn't get past the direct Fantasy Island references, but this was difficult to get into. There were interesting parts, but most of it seemed like a desperate need for ideas. It had a good ending. I'll read the next book, but not for a while.

[Sandra · Rating 4 out of 5]

Enjoying this series. I love Donna Stone. There are some dark topics, the humor insterspersed & the characters the author has created keep me going on this series. Already started #6--these books are keeping me up late at night as I just need to read one more page.

[Rebecca Grauman · Rating 3 out of 5]

I didn't like this one as much as the others, I found it really predictable, until the last chapter, I thought that had a bit of an interesting twist. Still a great series though.

[Diane Burton · Rating 5 out of 5]

A fun series, and this book is laugh out loud funny. Looking forward to reading the next book in this series.

[Maggie · Rating 1 out of 5]

It was a cute series when it started; now it's just too repetitive. There needs to be some character growth/change even in a 'cozy' mystery series.

I'm done with this series.

[Sonia Knippshild · Rating 3 out of 5]

Humorous read

[Darrell Knippshild · Rating 3 out of 5]

Humorous

[Cheryl · Rating 3 out of 5]

I would have given it 4 stars but I was able to figure out many of the “mysteries” early on in the book and it was a little frustrating that the “super spies” took so long to do the same.