The Screentime Solution: A Judgment-Free Guide to Becoming a Tech-Intentional Family

by Emily Cherkin

A judgment-free guide for parents who want to better understand and balance family screentime in the digital age. Author Emily Cherkin―aka The Screentime Consultant―has written a compelling and necessary book about parenting in the modern digital age. Unlike any previous generation, children’s excessive screen use today at home and at school impacts mental health and family relationships. Parents have concerns about the amount of time children spend on devices and want to do better. They’re just not sure what to do or where to start. In The Screentime Solution , Emily teaches parents to become “tech-intentional”: using screen-based technologies to enhance, nurture, and align with family values while avoiding, delaying, or limiting screentime that interferes with healthy mental, physical, cognitive, and emotional development. With humor, empathy, and experience, Emily invites parents to • become tech-intentional, without feeling judged, shamed, or blamed;
• implement her research-supported, developmentally appropriate tools to find screentime balance; and
• build a movement around tech-intentionality (this is good for everyone ―children and adults alike). The Screentime Solution will remain useful even as technology changes because being tech-intentional is an approach that can―and should―remain a constant.

Genres: Parenting, Nonfiction, Self Help, Psychology, Technology

232 pages, Hardcover

Published January 9, 2024

Reviews

[Dez the Bookworm · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was an interesting read. As we find ourselves more and more into the technology world, it can be hard to break away from screens as they are literally everywhere.

This was a great book to help parents gain some good insight and direction on how to be more intentional with screens and how to not use them so much.

Nice easy self-help read.

[Katie McDonough · Rating 3 out of 5]

Thank you NetGalley for an ARC in exchange for an honest review.

As a child therapist I love the IDEA of this book. I have clients right now whose parents are struggling with this very thing. But I couldn’t help but feel like this book was filled with radical opinions and lacking in factual information. These are the beliefs of someone nostalgic for the pre-web 80’s, who doesn’t miss a chance to bring up, in every section, how life was better then when advanced technology was not around.

I began most chapters excited to read some tangible evidence and strategies to give parents. I left most of the chapters thinking “that’s it?” I felt I was promised something and it was not given.

I fully believe this could’ve been an opinion piece from the writer or even a memoir on life in the 80’s pre-social media. Right now, it just doesn’t work for me.

[Taylor Meitzler · Rating 4 out of 5]

Really enjoyed this and made me think a lot about my own tech use and how that will play into parenting and our tech values with our family.

[Olivia Fisher · Rating 3 out of 5]

She’s talking to the wrong generations.

While I do feel like there are useful strategies for tackling the screen time challenges families face these days, I couldn’t help feeling extremely frustrated by all of the 80s nostalgia and focus on the GenZ/GenX parent child-relationship. This book was published in 2024 but totally skips over the two generations that it should be for: millennial (and older GenZ) parents and gen alpha kids.

With GenZ moving into adulthood, it really should have focused on the next decade of parents and children grappling with technology. Instead, the author focuses almost too heavily her own childhood and parenting experience growing up in the 80s and raising GenZ children. She failed to touch on the millennial experience, which bridges the gap between the emergence of the digital age and the freedom of the pre internet era. I was really hoping for more on how parents like me who grew up in both worlds could manage both their own lives experience immersed in pre and post tech and their children who deeply involved in a tech world.

Overall, an interesting book with a look at some good strategies that do help, but the author definitely keeps you at arms length with her own “more pure” experience of growing up as GenX.

[Trisha Niermeyer Potter · Rating 4 out of 5]

I found The Screentime Solution by Emily Cherkin to be very interesting, well-researched, and packed with practical tips and tricks for avoiding excessive screentime. Cherkin includes sections about child development and what is appropriate for children at each stage in terms of screen usage. The author, who is known as the Screentime Consultant, discusses the importance of having your tech use be in line with your family values, which for most people means reducing screentime across the board in favor of real life interactions.

Cherkin compares what screen usage was like in the 80s versus what it has looked like in the 2010s. A great deal has changed in that twenty year period about screens, and being armed with this information about the discrepancies can help parents and caregivers make better decisions about their children's use of technology.

I believe this book would be beneficial to parents, caregivers, teachers, and those who are in the field of child development. We all play a role in our children's views, uses, and possible abuses when it comes to technology. None of us are perfect, but we can all become better when it comes to being what Emily Cherkin refers to as "tech-intentional."

[Mary · Rating 3 out of 5]

Main takeaways:

1- Some is okay, too much is bad. (But of course that's always subjective.)

2- "Live out loud"--I think this is the most helpful bit. When you use your phone or tablet, explain what you're doing, because it isn't obvious: "I am checking this recipe for what ingredients we need," and even "I opened the news app because I was bored, but it didn't really make me feel any better for doing it."

3- Age 10 (and around, I assume) is a groundswell of difference. You can think you're doing great, but before then you are the one with access and control of media. Once they are able to navigate tech without you, and once their friends become greater magnets than you, the rules become less important than the principles you've instilled. So instill them early, before 10, for best results.

4- Everyone will have screentime. You might not even own a TV, but school, friends, others will provide screen access.

5- Teach your kids how manipulation comes through the design of the screens: "This app says it's free, but it will want you to buy more things inside of the app," or "I know it's hard to end this game--it doesn't have a clear stopping point, so it makes our brains want to keep going until we drop."

[Lindsay Williams · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thank you for the opportunity of trusting me with a review. I have a hyper active son and a family member that loves to critique and comment on his screentime that we allow. So I loved reading what the real experts say about screentime. Although I knew a lot of these points because I have looked into things before. This book went into great detail over topics like Alingning screen use with family values, scary versus dangerous and safety, it's not like when we were kids, and many more. This is a book I can refer back to when I have issues arise. This book also stresses that parenting isn't perfect and if we are doing 80% we are succeeding. Thank you for that. Give this book a try if you have questions about how we should be raising our kids with scrrentime. It is an easy and interesting read I flew through the book.

[Jennifer · Rating 5 out of 5]

I found the book thought provoking yet pragmatic meaning I walked away with actions I could start today. There are nuggets in every chapter that will get you thinking about your own screen usage, without feeling judged. Emily covers every aspect including the business that is the attention economy, how persuasive design works, what screen time is replacing in our lives and the development of children. I especially liked the focus on what kids really need to thrive - executive functioning skills, empathy, etc. She is open about her successes and failures at home with her own kids. This is a great resource for anyone living or working with kids at any age and trying to navigate the digital landscape!

[Grace Tolman · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a surprise favorite for me.

One of the things that I've noticed with non-fiction books, especially the self help ones, is that they would speak on an idea for the first two chapters and get regurgitated for the rest of the book. They don't give you any new ideas after chapter 2 and/or no practical advise.

But this book was not one of them. I really liked that it is a combination of research, stories, and practical advise. I even used some of them already and it is helping with the whining and complaining that my child does after we cut off the device time for that day. The advise is very realistic and, like the book said, non judgmental.

I learned a lot and I've been sharing this read to anyone that I talk with at this time.

[Kirsten · Rating 4 out of 5]

I feel like the first few chapters of this book were not helpful in setting the tone for the book. For example, I don’t personally believe that using an app to track fetal development is in the same camp as other screen time use on children. Certain smartwatches cannot be grouped with all other apps and devices. However, when I got past the nostalgic longing for the 80s and denigration of all things tech, there were some useful tips and strategies for improving your own, primarily, and your family’s relationship with technology. While there are plenty of tips I’ll quickly dismiss, there are others that I have already started to employ and find useful for me.

[Sarah Call · Rating 5 out of 5]

"It is the parent of children over 10 who find me, but the parents of children under 10 who need me."

Wow, this was an incredible read. If you have kids of any age and need guidance for better, more intentional screen usage for you and your family, READ THIS.

"Judgement-free" for sure, but not guilt-free. At least not for this Gen Z mom of 2. I learned so much about myself and my own screen use. And the guilt was quickly washed away with CONFIDENCE to do something about it! I'm excited for the challenge of modeling better screen use to my kids. And I hope to truly become a "tech-intentional" family.

"Normalize missteps; they are teachable moments"

[Tara Hoefs McGaugh · Rating 5 out of 5]

I'm so glad I won a copy of this book through Goodreads. This was a much-needed read for me and my family. I'm a mom of three kids (ages 12, 9, and 4) and my husband and I have been struggling with the issue of screentime. Ever since our oldest has brought home a personal computer from school it's been a daily battle. I don't normally highlight things in books, but there were so many good nuggets that I wanted to remember that I was highlighting things like crazy on my Kindle. I love that the author highlighted the importance of aligning screentime with your family value and I also really liked the idea of living out loud. I would encourage everyone to read this book no matter if you have little kids or older kids. It's a bit of a kick in the behind about your own personal screentime use as well, however, I never once felt judged or shamed for what I've been doing. Highly, highly recommend this book (and also would recommend buying a physical copy so you can mark it up).

[Jess · Rating 5 out of 5]

As someone who is not a parent yet but is already mindful of the problems with modern technology and its effects not only on us as adults but of course on children as well, I found a lot of value from reading this book. It has opened my eyes to the realities of the danger of giving children so much access to tech while they’re too underdeveloped to understand how to navigate it well & made me re-evaluate my own tech practices and how I can be more intentional with them. Highly recommend to anyone interested in the topic - very well written & an easy, engaging read.

[Alexandra · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is one of the better books I have read about how to incorporate screentime into our lives and those of our children in a realistic and healthy manner. As a parent and teacher whose childhood took place in the 70s and 80s, I'm often frustrated by the negative impact that screens have on the lives of my own children, as well as those of my students. This book offered practical tips but also presented a new way of framing screen use for our family going forward.

***I received a copy of The Screentime Solution from NetGallary.

[Nicole · Rating 3 out of 5]

I appreciated the non-judgmental approach and how ultimately we as parents have to figure out what makes the most sense for our family. I agree with some reviews that it focused a lot of GenX parents with GenZ children instead of looking ahead to the next generation (millennials raising gen alpha) however many of the concepts still apply across generations. For me the biggest takeaways from this are to delay technology use as long as possible for our kids and to look at our own technology use as parents before setting boundaries for our children. Overall a fast and helpful read.

[Stefanie · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was both practical and eye-opening. I really appreciated the author's honesty, judgement-free ideas, factual references, attention to each age group (littles/middles), as well as the TL;DRs and FAQs at the end of the book for easy reference. This is a must read for parents of any age (and especially tweens) in such tech-driven time.

Thank you Netgalley for the opportunity to read an advanced copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

[Simms · Rating 5 out of 5]

Really useful book for parents looking to navigate screen use for their families. Perhaps a little more useful for parents with older children (tweens and teens) but thought-provoking for parents with kids of any age. I've definitely adopted some of the approaches it describes (and will keep others in mind as my children age).

Thanks to NetGalley and Greenleaf Book Group for the ARC.

[Elizabeth Sanders · Rating 3 out of 5]

I won this book from goodreads. This book is spot on with everything. My kids are grown know but my oldest when she got her phone you could not pry it away from her. She still did other stuff but the phone was always with here. So if she got in trouble we took her phone for her punishment. So she hardly ever got in trouble.My oldest also loves to read like me. My youngest hates to read and she likes YouTube and other things we did the same thing but she didn’t care but I had pretty good kids that minded pretty well so. But I never helicoptered my kids they need to make there own mistakes they knew where we were if they needed us. I was never in the school all the time unless the teacher asked for a meeting or something

[Kristen Morris · Rating 5 out of 5]

Highly recommend!
Every generation of parents have different and unique challenges and many current day families are dealing with screen times challenges. While many of these topics may seem to be common sense, it was a positive experience to hear from professionals on the positives and negatives. Quick and helpful read! Recommend to anyone with children ages 1-18!

[Wendie Barney Boucher · Rating 5 out of 5]

I received a free Kindle copy of this book. This book provided a great deal of information on how to be more tech-intentional, not only for yourself but for your children. I found the information provided to be very useful and helpful in considering how to be more aware of how and when I am letting my child use technology and the apps and websites he is using.

[Gail · Rating 4 out of 5]

An excellent book - among a growing body of literature - about the importance of having a balanced screen life for our children. A very important book to keep pressing for fewer screens in school (Ed Tech) and the harms of Big Tech, most especially social media. She offers some good strategies too.

[Laurie · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this helpful reference and I highly recommend this book to any parents. This book is full of useful information on creating a family strategy to deal with the ever increasing use of screens

[Erica H · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved this book! It really helped me understand that my relationship with technology greatly impacts my children. I loved the sections on talking to little kids vs older kids. Highly recommend for any parents struggling to raise their kids in this tech-driven society.

[Mistery · Rating 4 out of 5]

Overall Rating: 7.9/10 ⭐️

Authenticity - 8 ⭐️

Charisma - 7 ⭐️

Emotional Response - 6 ⭐️

Enjoyment - 8 ⭐️

Interest Level - 9 ⭐️

Story - 7 ⭐️

Progression - 8 ⭐️

Satisfying Ending - 8 ⭐️

Thought Provoking Themes - 10 ⭐️

Well Written - 8 ⭐️

Writing Style - 8 ⭐️

[Jackie Markowski · Rating 4 out of 5]

I wish every parent could read this book (and talk with others about it!). Great tips for being a reflective parent and a true emphasis on being tech intentional! It inspired me to DO BETTER (but take baby steps!)

[Denise · Rating 4 out of 5]

A great foundational book on intentionality with screens for the family - particularly for those with younger kids preparing for the days when smartphones, etc become a consuming issue. I found many of the parenting and technology concepts familiar, but it had some good reminders.

[Amanda Jacobson · Rating 4 out of 5]

A great tool for parents and teachers to be more intentional around technology. Kids are losing executive functioning skills like socializing, handwriting, critical thinking, etc. Skills before Tech.

[Elizabeth · Rating 5 out of 5]

A much needed reference and advise on technology and how our children are using it. A must read for parents in the digital age,

[Kate · Rating 5 out of 5]

Such an important book for every parent to read!

[Desiree Wills Velazco · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of the best of its kinds! I love that it lays out the problem in a realistic, non fear based way and then gives actual personalized and practical solutions