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Looking for Palestine: Growing Up Confused in an Arab-American Family
A frank and entertaining memoir, from the daughter of Edward Said, about growing up second-generation Arab American and struggling with that identity.
The daughter of a prominent Palestinian father and a sophisticated Lebanese mother, Najla Said grew up in New York City, confused and conflicted about her cultural background and identity. Said knew that her parents identified deeply with their homelands, but growing up in a Manhattan world that was defined largely by class and conformity, she felt unsure about who she was supposed to be, and was often in denial of the differences she sensed between her family and those around her. The fact that her father was the famous intellectual and outspoken Palestinian advocate Edward Said only made things more complicated. She may have been born a Palestinian Lebanese American, but in Said’s mind she grew up first as a WASP, having been baptized Episcopalian in Boston and attending the wealthy Upper East Side girls’ school Chapin, then as a teenage Jew, essentially denying her true roots, even to herself—until, ultimately, the psychological toll of all this self-hatred began to threaten her health.
As she grew older, making increased visits to Palestine and Beirut, Said’s worldview shifted. The attacks on the World Trade Center, and some of the ways in which Americans responded, finally made it impossible for Said to continue to pick and choose her identity, forcing her to see herself and her passions more clearly. Today, she has become an important voice for second-generation Arab Americans nationwide.
The daughter of a prominent Palestinian father and a sophisticated Lebanese mother, Najla Said grew up in New York City, confused and conflicted about her cultural background and identity. Said knew that her parents identified deeply with their homelands, but growing up in a Manhattan world that was defined largely by class and conformity, she felt unsure about who she was supposed to be, and was often in denial of the differences she sensed between her family and those around her. The fact that her father was the famous intellectual and outspoken Palestinian advocate Edward Said only made things more complicated. She may have been born a Palestinian Lebanese American, but in Said’s mind she grew up first as a WASP, having been baptized Episcopalian in Boston and attending the wealthy Upper East Side girls’ school Chapin, then as a teenage Jew, essentially denying her true roots, even to herself—until, ultimately, the psychological toll of all this self-hatred began to threaten her health.
As she grew older, making increased visits to Palestine and Beirut, Said’s worldview shifted. The attacks on the World Trade Center, and some of the ways in which Americans responded, finally made it impossible for Said to continue to pick and choose her identity, forcing her to see herself and her passions more clearly. Today, she has become an important voice for second-generation Arab Americans nationwide.
273 pages, Kindle Edition
First published August 1, 2013
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 183 reviews
October 4, 2023
Looking for Palestine by Najla Said is now my favorite memoir and my favorite coming of age story. If you care about humanity, you will want to read it.
September 29, 2013
This is a very quick, easy read....and I have mixed feelings about it, because I expected one thing and got another. Since Najla is Edward Said's daughter, and since the book is titled "Looking for Palestine," I was expecting to read more about...well, Palestine. And her development as an activist/daughter of an (intellectual) activist. What I got instead is a memoir about a very mixed-up kid who spent most of her life denying her heritage and starving herself to be accepted as "normal" in a white, largely Jewish neighborhood/school. It's also more about her growing affinity with Lebanon, than Palestine (which she only visited once and couldn't relate to). In the end, though, I did like it, because it gave me insights into Edward Said as a person, and how hard it is to be an immigrant or child of an immigrant in this country -- even when you're as wealthy/privileged as the Saids were (the latter being a fact that often tempered my sympathy for Najla as I read the book..which was perhaps unfair of me). Actually, in retrospect, Najla's angst growing up (including anorexia nervosa) was likely due just as much to living in the shadow of a famous father who didn't pay as much attention to his daughter as his son. That's my opinion, at least.
One other note: I think one reason why I found myself being impatient in the first part of the book, when Najla spent quite a bit of time dwelling on her young desire to wall off or even ignore her cultural heritage, is that I always LONGED to "belong" to something..a culture, an ethnicity, etc. I am as "white bread" as they come -- American very far back, with no particular affinity for a religion. That's probably why I have adopted the Palestinian cause so passionately. So....I was the opposite of Najla!
One other note: I think one reason why I found myself being impatient in the first part of the book, when Najla spent quite a bit of time dwelling on her young desire to wall off or even ignore her cultural heritage, is that I always LONGED to "belong" to something..a culture, an ethnicity, etc. I am as "white bread" as they come -- American very far back, with no particular affinity for a religion. That's probably why I have adopted the Palestinian cause so passionately. So....I was the opposite of Najla!
November 4, 2013
As smart as he was, Edward Said did not understand his daughter. I believe the key to all that went on before was on p. 158 "... girls like me didn't need to know serious things". The Said's sent their son off to school with the tools to understand the "rules", and like many before, of almost any ethnic background, sent their daughter off vulnerable.
Fully vulnerable she was: she was the only Arab in a school with Christians and Jews; a school that had a holocaust survivor's memoirs and visit as part of its curriculum. In this school her, dark hair, her name, her height and her unacceptable address were issues with the other girls. A psychiatrist was the Said's answer to their daughter's confusion and low self-esteem.
While the book is not about gender issues, I believe gender informs the wrenching part of this memoir. The outsider nature of her life had disastrous consequences for her health and her parents seen very slow to recognize the obvious.
In her famous father's memoir Out of Place he writes of his abusive father and manipulative mother. His four sisters were hardly noted in his book. Edward Said's "outsider" experiences should have helped him understand his daughter. Perhaps because the schools he attended meted out physical discipline and Najla's didn't he didn't look into the appropriateness of Chapin. Perhaps he never emotionally overcame his isolation from his sisters. Perhaps he was just too busy. Najla's brother seems to have known and reconciled his family history and identity early on; I would guess he had a very different experience of family life than his sister.
Once at Princeton University, where her brother and both cousins also attend, she comes in to her own. As she matures and travels the work her parents did becomes meaningful to her. As she puts together the pieces of her heritage she becomes whole.
She writes more about Lebanon (her mother's heritages, and ¼ of her father's) than about Palestine as the title suggests. In one sense, Palestine is for her a metaphor for the outsider: those set apart, discriminated against and forgotten; descriptions which relate to her at different places in her life.
Najla, through her art is finding a way to interpret the outsider (hence the Palestinian) experience in a way people can understand. I have not seen her performances, but she has an authentic voice that comes through clearly in this book.
Fully vulnerable she was: she was the only Arab in a school with Christians and Jews; a school that had a holocaust survivor's memoirs and visit as part of its curriculum. In this school her, dark hair, her name, her height and her unacceptable address were issues with the other girls. A psychiatrist was the Said's answer to their daughter's confusion and low self-esteem.
While the book is not about gender issues, I believe gender informs the wrenching part of this memoir. The outsider nature of her life had disastrous consequences for her health and her parents seen very slow to recognize the obvious.
In her famous father's memoir Out of Place he writes of his abusive father and manipulative mother. His four sisters were hardly noted in his book. Edward Said's "outsider" experiences should have helped him understand his daughter. Perhaps because the schools he attended meted out physical discipline and Najla's didn't he didn't look into the appropriateness of Chapin. Perhaps he never emotionally overcame his isolation from his sisters. Perhaps he was just too busy. Najla's brother seems to have known and reconciled his family history and identity early on; I would guess he had a very different experience of family life than his sister.
Once at Princeton University, where her brother and both cousins also attend, she comes in to her own. As she matures and travels the work her parents did becomes meaningful to her. As she puts together the pieces of her heritage she becomes whole.
She writes more about Lebanon (her mother's heritages, and ¼ of her father's) than about Palestine as the title suggests. In one sense, Palestine is for her a metaphor for the outsider: those set apart, discriminated against and forgotten; descriptions which relate to her at different places in her life.
Najla, through her art is finding a way to interpret the outsider (hence the Palestinian) experience in a way people can understand. I have not seen her performances, but she has an authentic voice that comes through clearly in this book.
August 24, 2021
I have to admit, I'm a little embarrassed for this woman. Imagine having such a famous and iconic father who defined postcolonial studies, and then going on to introduce yourself as a Upper West Side princess, with no irony whatsoever.
I think this is an instance of a person coasting on the fame of family member. Najla spends her whole life denying her heritage, living in an incredibly privileged, rich, white washed, and racist bubble (GIRL, YOU NEED NEW FRIENDS). The (supposed) premise of this book is coming to terms with her mixed identity, but she really never does. She identifies more as Lebanese (which is fine), and there was no looking for anything remotely Palestinian in terms of her trying to navigate her identity (in between running around richy rich New York with her weird, painfully clueless friends). She grudgingly accepts it post 9/11 because she can't really "pass," and the last chunk of the book was her pushing her one woman theater show.
A friend of mine raved about this and begged me to read this, and we are going to discuss this during our next tea party/bashing session/gossip extravaganza. The only thing that interested me was seeing Edward Said as a father, but even then, he comes off as slightly senile and doddering.
I think this is an instance of a person coasting on the fame of family member. Najla spends her whole life denying her heritage, living in an incredibly privileged, rich, white washed, and racist bubble (GIRL, YOU NEED NEW FRIENDS). The (supposed) premise of this book is coming to terms with her mixed identity, but she really never does. She identifies more as Lebanese (which is fine), and there was no looking for anything remotely Palestinian in terms of her trying to navigate her identity (in between running around richy rich New York with her weird, painfully clueless friends). She grudgingly accepts it post 9/11 because she can't really "pass," and the last chunk of the book was her pushing her one woman theater show.
A friend of mine raved about this and begged me to read this, and we are going to discuss this during our next tea party/bashing session/gossip extravaganza. The only thing that interested me was seeing Edward Said as a father, but even then, he comes off as slightly senile and doddering.
November 9, 2023
This is a memoir by the daughter of Edward Said, it is apparently based on a play that she performs about identity and her life trying to figure out who she is in a world that is extremely racist towards Arabs. I think the part of the title Looking for Palestine is a bit misleading as there are brief moments where she talks about her relationship to Palestine, but she talks much more about Lebanon, and this is more about the other part of the title- where she is confused and trying to understand her identity and where she fits in in the world. Overall an enjoyable read, but I found myself more interested in her parents, which would probably be very annoying for her to hear! But she was very disengaged and trying to avoid politics most of her life. But her fears and disengagement make sense and this does really show the impact of racism on someone and how much that effects someone's confidence and health.
TW: War, Eating Disorder, Racism/Xenophobia, Parent death, Cancer
TW: War, Eating Disorder, Racism/Xenophobia, Parent death, Cancer
November 29, 2013
If I had been younger - much younger, say in my teens or early twenties -I probably would have liked this book more. It's the memoir of a child's and then later a young woman's struggle to find herself. I don't mean to belittle her struggle or the insights she came to; but, although the particulars of her situation are rather unique, the search for herself and the insights she came to seemed more mundane than insightful. Perhaps I expected too much, considering whose daughter she is. And that is part of her problem - living in the shadow of a famous father. So I unintentionally reinforce her difficulty.
Najla Said is the daughter of the renown intellectual Edward Said, founder of post-colonial thought, Professor of English Literature at Columbia University, author of several scholarly books, outspoken advocate for the Palestinian people and on and on. (He passes away near the end of her book.) I knew of Edward Said mostly by seeing him on guest appearances on TV talk shows. When a host needed someone to talk authoritatively on Palestinian issues, Edward Said was often called upon. When she was a child, Najla writes that she was unaware of her father's famous reputation. She didn't think it unusual for such notables as Noam Chomsky, Susan Sontag, Jacques Derrida, Daniel Barenboim to show up at their home. As a freshman at Princeton, Cornell West spotted her in his large classroom/auditorium and beckoned her to the stage in order to greet her. Her classmates were in awe.
Such were her difficulties.
Najla describes her heritage as Palestinian-Lebanese-American-Christian and somewhat tongue-in-cheek, Jewish. Her father was 3/4 Palestinian and 1/4 Lebanese; her mother, fully Lebanese; Najla was born and raised in the United States and baptized as an Episcopalian. She grew up in Upper West Side, NYC, a Jewish neighborhood; but, for her early schooling, was bused to the Upper East Side's Chapin, an exclusive, very WASPish private school, which claims Jacqueline Kennedy as one of its famous alumni. She didn't feel that she fit in anywhere. Although she loved her family and her warm and loving extended family and the many times they vacationed in Lebanon, she didn't want to be recognized or identified as an Arab. She was six, when the American hostages, who had been held captive in Iran, were released. She was thrilled as was her first grade class as they watched the release on television. When she got home she ran to tell her mother how happy she was. Her mother listened, smiled, and then told her that Algeria, an Arab country, stepped in to help the Americans talk to Iran. Najla argued she was happy because they all were Americans. Her mother told her that she should be happy but she should also be aware that Arabs also helped and she should be happy about that too because she was an Arab. Najla's response was to run to her room yelling "Mommy, you spoil everything."
Her struggle to find herself continued into her high school and university years when she became severely anorexic and struggled with insecurity, even though she was doing well in school. As she grew older, she never knew if her friends liked her for herself or for her famous father. I admit getting a little tired of all of this during the first half of her memoir. The second half was more interesting. The events of 9/11 woke her up when blanket condemnations of all Arabs became the norm. She began to accept and then embrace her identity - all of it. Palestine is really a metaphor for Najla herself. That's what she was looking for. She seems to have found herself. I wish her well.
Najla Said is the daughter of the renown intellectual Edward Said, founder of post-colonial thought, Professor of English Literature at Columbia University, author of several scholarly books, outspoken advocate for the Palestinian people and on and on. (He passes away near the end of her book.) I knew of Edward Said mostly by seeing him on guest appearances on TV talk shows. When a host needed someone to talk authoritatively on Palestinian issues, Edward Said was often called upon. When she was a child, Najla writes that she was unaware of her father's famous reputation. She didn't think it unusual for such notables as Noam Chomsky, Susan Sontag, Jacques Derrida, Daniel Barenboim to show up at their home. As a freshman at Princeton, Cornell West spotted her in his large classroom/auditorium and beckoned her to the stage in order to greet her. Her classmates were in awe.
Such were her difficulties.
Najla describes her heritage as Palestinian-Lebanese-American-Christian and somewhat tongue-in-cheek, Jewish. Her father was 3/4 Palestinian and 1/4 Lebanese; her mother, fully Lebanese; Najla was born and raised in the United States and baptized as an Episcopalian. She grew up in Upper West Side, NYC, a Jewish neighborhood; but, for her early schooling, was bused to the Upper East Side's Chapin, an exclusive, very WASPish private school, which claims Jacqueline Kennedy as one of its famous alumni. She didn't feel that she fit in anywhere. Although she loved her family and her warm and loving extended family and the many times they vacationed in Lebanon, she didn't want to be recognized or identified as an Arab. She was six, when the American hostages, who had been held captive in Iran, were released. She was thrilled as was her first grade class as they watched the release on television. When she got home she ran to tell her mother how happy she was. Her mother listened, smiled, and then told her that Algeria, an Arab country, stepped in to help the Americans talk to Iran. Najla argued she was happy because they all were Americans. Her mother told her that she should be happy but she should also be aware that Arabs also helped and she should be happy about that too because she was an Arab. Najla's response was to run to her room yelling "Mommy, you spoil everything."
Her struggle to find herself continued into her high school and university years when she became severely anorexic and struggled with insecurity, even though she was doing well in school. As she grew older, she never knew if her friends liked her for herself or for her famous father. I admit getting a little tired of all of this during the first half of her memoir. The second half was more interesting. The events of 9/11 woke her up when blanket condemnations of all Arabs became the norm. She began to accept and then embrace her identity - all of it. Palestine is really a metaphor for Najla herself. That's what she was looking for. She seems to have found herself. I wish her well.
July 31, 2014
Ok, I know it's my fault that I'm not rating this book with 5 stars.
I just couldn't relate to what she's going through, and I tried to understand but I couldn't.
And another huge problem was that I expected too much of it. The title said "Looking for Palestine", and as I was reading I was also looking for her Palestine with her but neither I or she could find it. And I believe that "Palestine" wasn't what she was looking for, she ended up finding her identity as an Arab-American -not even Palestinian American- who loves the United States and Lebanon, not Palestine.
So I expected more, I know I shouldn't have but I did. Also I was disappointed with Edward Said a little. The problem is with having idols, is that they're perfect to us, and anything that ruins this image of perfection we have about them makes me hate the cause and the model, and this is exactly what happened while reading this.
I know he, and his wife, wanted their kids to create their own identities and personalities, but maybe when it came to their history and legacy, they should've had more impact and effect. I know I shouldn't interfere with anybody's parenting, but that made me think that he's like all these successful dads out there, who spend decades educating other people and helping other people and spend little time doing the same for their own.
I was trying to read this as a fellow Palestinian, in order to understand her better, but I don't think she's much related to the cause. It's as if Najla sees the Palestinian struggle for freedom as any other struggle that she can't be part of. She was more invested in what's happening in Lebanon because she lived it, and maybe that's why she's not too connected with what's happening in Palestine. It felt to me that Lebanon was part of her, while Palestine was only part of her father and had nothing to do with her other than just that, that it was only precious a little to her because it was precious to her dad.
And I know this book was about Najla, but I was really disappointed in Edward Said as well, because he too fell for the trap most of us fell for. UN Resolutions that serve a certain agenda, International Law that only serves the powerful, and having faith in a so-called leader (Arrafat) because he's all we have right now. I really wanted him to be different, because he had insight, he always saw what was to come of the Palestinian struggle, and for him to only "settle" and not demand justice harder, was a bit disappointing to me.
I wanted him to storm through the door when he went back to his house in Jerusalem, I wanted him to not wait for permissions or think about it twice, because it was his right, his legitimate right to do so, and even he backed down.
I don't know, I thought this book will bring me closer to my heroes, but it only pushed me further away. And I know it's not because there's something wrong with them, but because I wanted more of people I couldn't ask anything of.
But Najla having this identity struggle and ending up where she did makes total sense. Her parents did raise her to not judge people based on their nationalities or ethnicity or religion, and that's exactly what she did. Maybe that's why she's an Arab-American and not a Palestinian-Lebanese-American, because all these are just invented labels that only push us more apart, and she didn't want to be pushed away from her culture, she wanted to be brought closer.
I just couldn't relate to what she's going through, and I tried to understand but I couldn't.
And another huge problem was that I expected too much of it. The title said "Looking for Palestine", and as I was reading I was also looking for her Palestine with her but neither I or she could find it. And I believe that "Palestine" wasn't what she was looking for, she ended up finding her identity as an Arab-American -not even Palestinian American- who loves the United States and Lebanon, not Palestine.
So I expected more, I know I shouldn't have but I did. Also I was disappointed with Edward Said a little. The problem is with having idols, is that they're perfect to us, and anything that ruins this image of perfection we have about them makes me hate the cause and the model, and this is exactly what happened while reading this.
I know he, and his wife, wanted their kids to create their own identities and personalities, but maybe when it came to their history and legacy, they should've had more impact and effect. I know I shouldn't interfere with anybody's parenting, but that made me think that he's like all these successful dads out there, who spend decades educating other people and helping other people and spend little time doing the same for their own.
I was trying to read this as a fellow Palestinian, in order to understand her better, but I don't think she's much related to the cause. It's as if Najla sees the Palestinian struggle for freedom as any other struggle that she can't be part of. She was more invested in what's happening in Lebanon because she lived it, and maybe that's why she's not too connected with what's happening in Palestine. It felt to me that Lebanon was part of her, while Palestine was only part of her father and had nothing to do with her other than just that, that it was only precious a little to her because it was precious to her dad.
And I know this book was about Najla, but I was really disappointed in Edward Said as well, because he too fell for the trap most of us fell for. UN Resolutions that serve a certain agenda, International Law that only serves the powerful, and having faith in a so-called leader (Arrafat) because he's all we have right now. I really wanted him to be different, because he had insight, he always saw what was to come of the Palestinian struggle, and for him to only "settle" and not demand justice harder, was a bit disappointing to me.
I wanted him to storm through the door when he went back to his house in Jerusalem, I wanted him to not wait for permissions or think about it twice, because it was his right, his legitimate right to do so, and even he backed down.
I don't know, I thought this book will bring me closer to my heroes, but it only pushed me further away. And I know it's not because there's something wrong with them, but because I wanted more of people I couldn't ask anything of.
But Najla having this identity struggle and ending up where she did makes total sense. Her parents did raise her to not judge people based on their nationalities or ethnicity or religion, and that's exactly what she did. Maybe that's why she's an Arab-American and not a Palestinian-Lebanese-American, because all these are just invented labels that only push us more apart, and she didn't want to be pushed away from her culture, she wanted to be brought closer.
July 18, 2013
I loved reading this book. It was as if Najla Said was sitting at my kitchen table sharing coffee and her story with me. Her struggle to find her true ethnicity, can be compared to everyones struggle to just fit into the human race. For me it was a real page turner, I read it in one day.
November 30, 2025
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Najla Said is the American born daughter of Middle Eastern American parents. Her mother is Lebanese and her father, who died in 2003, was born in Jerusalem when it was Palestine. Her father was a well-known international personality. He taught literature at Columbia University and was a political activist beginning with the Six Day War in 1967.
Najla grew up privileged. Her family lived in the Upper West side of Manhattan, but she was sent to a private girls only school in the Upper East side. Most of her classmates were either WASP and blonde or Jewish. Her roots were Christian. She describes feeling like she just never fit in, her skin was browner, her hair long and dark. She felt American but was perceived as the “other.” She was born in 1974 and was still in her 20’s when 9/11 happened. She was definitely seen as “Arab” from that point forward. The whole point of her memoir is that during her childhood she wasn’t sure where she fit in the world and the racism exhibited towards Middle Eastern (looking?) people after 9/11 spurred her on to a political acknowledgement of her roots.
This was relatively easy to read and just reminds me that despite all our cultural differences, people are people no matter how they grew up or where they are from.
Goodreads 2025 Challenge - Book #111 of 115
Najla Said is the American born daughter of Middle Eastern American parents. Her mother is Lebanese and her father, who died in 2003, was born in Jerusalem when it was Palestine. Her father was a well-known international personality. He taught literature at Columbia University and was a political activist beginning with the Six Day War in 1967.
Najla grew up privileged. Her family lived in the Upper West side of Manhattan, but she was sent to a private girls only school in the Upper East side. Most of her classmates were either WASP and blonde or Jewish. Her roots were Christian. She describes feeling like she just never fit in, her skin was browner, her hair long and dark. She felt American but was perceived as the “other.” She was born in 1974 and was still in her 20’s when 9/11 happened. She was definitely seen as “Arab” from that point forward. The whole point of her memoir is that during her childhood she wasn’t sure where she fit in the world and the racism exhibited towards Middle Eastern (looking?) people after 9/11 spurred her on to a political acknowledgement of her roots.
This was relatively easy to read and just reminds me that despite all our cultural differences, people are people no matter how they grew up or where they are from.
Goodreads 2025 Challenge - Book #111 of 115
February 22, 2014
I bought this book after I heard Najla Said speak at the Boston Book Festival. I admired her courage as a very anxious person to stand up for an, in the USA, unpopular cause. Despite the fact that her father was a leader in the Palestinian movement, Najla Said manages to write a very personal account to how a youth of Christian Lebanese and Palestinian descent feels in American society. Said's confusion and suffering was compounded by her mental health issues: anorexia and anxiety. This makes her story more realistic. It makes very clear what being a misunderstood minority can do to a human being. We should never loose sight of this, when we voice strong political opinions.
I saw some reviews, where Said's well to do background was attacked, and where she was called a "whiner". I do not agree. Anybody living in the shadow of a famous relative is forced to assert their own identity more that those who do not have famous relative. The outside world tends to think that they have the exact same opinions and talents as your famous relatives, which is a narrow minded way of viewing a person. Najla Said wisely stays away from the scientific/ political approach her father took. Even though she talks about her father a lot in her book, she never attempts to promote his work. She is her own person.
I would love to see Najla Said's play "Palestine"
I saw some reviews, where Said's well to do background was attacked, and where she was called a "whiner". I do not agree. Anybody living in the shadow of a famous relative is forced to assert their own identity more that those who do not have famous relative. The outside world tends to think that they have the exact same opinions and talents as your famous relatives, which is a narrow minded way of viewing a person. Najla Said wisely stays away from the scientific/ political approach her father took. Even though she talks about her father a lot in her book, she never attempts to promote his work. She is her own person.
I would love to see Najla Said's play "Palestine"
August 8, 2013
Fabulous! Said's book is so honest and to me, fascinating. First of all, it has sparked in me an interest in the Arab world. I want to educate myself about Israel and Palestine and the struggle. I also loved Said's personal story and the way she describes her identity conflict, her insecurities and her troubled mind. She writes really well and her self deprecating style and candid soul searching captivated me. I related to her story as well because I struggled in middle and high school with being Cuban. Growing up in Miami you would think I could embrace being Cuban but I hated it. Among many WASP friends, Cubans were "island people" and I was made to feel inferior. I told people my surname was Italian or French. Other times I would insist that my family was from Spain, never Cuba.
I loved this book and recommend it highly. I want to go get some of Said's dad's books as well. Happy reading!
I loved this book and recommend it highly. I want to go get some of Said's dad's books as well. Happy reading!
December 10, 2024
I’m so sorry but this was honestly an insufferable read. Najla spends almost the entire book hating her Arab-ness and refusing to identify with her Palestinian side until like the last 3 pages. Her take on politics is honestly horrifying considering what she’s seen and the work of her father. She doesn’t come across as likeable at all and doesn’t recognise her privilege throughout the entire memoir. Also she literally comes across more pro-isr*el than pro-Palestine. I wouldn’t recommend this at all.
August 5, 2013
The daughter of a late hero of mine...fascinating to read her story, and laugh with the similarities of our lives, and cry with the tragedies of her specific life. Dealing with the feeling of "other", something I have always struggled with, albeit not as pathologically as she has...I commend her for her work with other Arab American actors after 9/11. This is the story of all immigrants...which in truth is the story of all Americans, at some point in their history, is it not?
August 4, 2013
Let me first specify that I received uncorrected copy of this book before publication for review. That being said, my thoughts and opinions are mine alone. I was not reimbursed by the publisher or asked to post a certain kind of review.
This memoir is particularly notable for having been written by the daughter of acclaimed thinker and professor Edward Said. She describes the difficulties she encountered in being raised as a self-proclaimed "Upper West Side princess," while also growing up in a family strongly rooted in their Arab heritage.
Speaking as a child of split nationalities myself (my father was born in the U.S. to thoroughly American parents; my mother was Mexican), I could relate to her struggles to figure out a place to belong. It's rare to see that struggle put to paper, how there is always a part of you that seems to tug in an opposite geographical direction. That's what the heart of the story is about; figuring out how to gracefully reconcile one's current identity with their familial past, and how the past and present entwine. I thought that was one of the strongest points of the book.
A good portion of the story takes place during her visits to the Middle East, which is the other part that interested me. If you don't have a great idea of what the struggle in that area of the world is about, she gives a good, basic overview (from what some may consider a slanted viewpoint, of course). It's also horrifying to get even the glimpses--only glimpses--that she provides of the warfare in the region.
In the end, though, I felt kind of like I didn't quite understand why this book needed to be written. It's written well, no question. It's a very easy, quick story to read. But unless you're either a memoir junkie or a Edward Said fan, I'm not sure what the audience for this book is. It doesn't go into a whole lot of detail about Palestinian-Israeli relations for the political science geeks, and it's not about a person particularly famous in her own right. She had identity crises, and got over them. It happens to be special because she had access to a very privileged life.
This memoir is particularly notable for having been written by the daughter of acclaimed thinker and professor Edward Said. She describes the difficulties she encountered in being raised as a self-proclaimed "Upper West Side princess," while also growing up in a family strongly rooted in their Arab heritage.
Speaking as a child of split nationalities myself (my father was born in the U.S. to thoroughly American parents; my mother was Mexican), I could relate to her struggles to figure out a place to belong. It's rare to see that struggle put to paper, how there is always a part of you that seems to tug in an opposite geographical direction. That's what the heart of the story is about; figuring out how to gracefully reconcile one's current identity with their familial past, and how the past and present entwine. I thought that was one of the strongest points of the book.
A good portion of the story takes place during her visits to the Middle East, which is the other part that interested me. If you don't have a great idea of what the struggle in that area of the world is about, she gives a good, basic overview (from what some may consider a slanted viewpoint, of course). It's also horrifying to get even the glimpses--only glimpses--that she provides of the warfare in the region.
In the end, though, I felt kind of like I didn't quite understand why this book needed to be written. It's written well, no question. It's a very easy, quick story to read. But unless you're either a memoir junkie or a Edward Said fan, I'm not sure what the audience for this book is. It doesn't go into a whole lot of detail about Palestinian-Israeli relations for the political science geeks, and it's not about a person particularly famous in her own right. She had identity crises, and got over them. It happens to be special because she had access to a very privileged life.
April 19, 2025
i cannot believe the author put this out for the world to read. this memoir is self-absorbed and childishly written. as someone trying to reconcile her arab identity with her western one, it is astounding how frequently she brings up old school tropes about arabs and muslims when describing her experiences as a young girl in nyc and abroad.
her constant tokenization of both her and her father having jewish and israeli friends comes across as extremely self-deprecating. it is quite awful and disappointing that she does this to prove the very weak and facile point that she is a “good” arab (liberal, christian, half-lebanese and, god forbid, not fully palestinian, wealthy, educated, etc.). hearing her attempt to recreate her relatives’ heavily accented english in the audiobook was extremely cringe-worthy.
in reference to the book’s title, najla said maybe gave a pitiful, passing glance at palestine, but in reality there is little to no “looking for palestine” all throughout.
her constant tokenization of both her and her father having jewish and israeli friends comes across as extremely self-deprecating. it is quite awful and disappointing that she does this to prove the very weak and facile point that she is a “good” arab (liberal, christian, half-lebanese and, god forbid, not fully palestinian, wealthy, educated, etc.). hearing her attempt to recreate her relatives’ heavily accented english in the audiobook was extremely cringe-worthy.
in reference to the book’s title, najla said maybe gave a pitiful, passing glance at palestine, but in reality there is little to no “looking for palestine” all throughout.
October 19, 2013
Najla Said is a Palestinian-Lebanese growing up in New York City. Her father is a famous Palestinian scholar and, unbeknownst to me, the reason we no longer use the word "Oriental" to describe Asian people.
Najla grew up confused and troubled with her identity. Looking for Palestine is her memoir, which describes her childhood to present day and how she has dealt with her experience of never quite fitting in.
I had high hopes for this memoir, but was unimpressed. It felt a tad whiny at times, and not quite original. It almost felt like reading a diary, and I wanted Najla to be stronger than she was. The feeling was: we all feel like we don't fit in at times, can you move on and mature now? Which is undoubtedly harsh, but how I felt.
Najla grew up confused and troubled with her identity. Looking for Palestine is her memoir, which describes her childhood to present day and how she has dealt with her experience of never quite fitting in.
I had high hopes for this memoir, but was unimpressed. It felt a tad whiny at times, and not quite original. It almost felt like reading a diary, and I wanted Najla to be stronger than she was. The feeling was: we all feel like we don't fit in at times, can you move on and mature now? Which is undoubtedly harsh, but how I felt.
December 29, 2021
Well, that was disappointing. I went into this expecting a compelling story of a search for identity and political awakening. However, that was not the case.
What irked me most wasn’t the incredibly misleading title, or that she failed to bring to life any of the characters she wrote about, or that the writing was mediocre at best, but it was the fact that she witnessed the Lebanese Civil War, the Israeli invasion of Lebanon, and the 11th September attacks yet the extent of her political commentary is something akin to ‘there are good and bad people on both sides.’ I couldn’t help but find this laughable.
What irked me most wasn’t the incredibly misleading title, or that she failed to bring to life any of the characters she wrote about, or that the writing was mediocre at best, but it was the fact that she witnessed the Lebanese Civil War, the Israeli invasion of Lebanon, and the 11th September attacks yet the extent of her political commentary is something akin to ‘there are good and bad people on both sides.’ I couldn’t help but find this laughable.
July 26, 2014
I read an uncorrected proof of this book that I got through LibraryThing's Early Reviewers program. It's based on a solo show that Najla Said -- Edward Said's daughter -- says she performs mostly for high school and college students. That's apparent in the simplistic tone of the book, which makes it seem like it must be targeted at a young (teen) audience. Looking past that, the narrative is about 3/4 humble-bragging with a few paragraphs expressing guilt over the author's privilege. It's just not a compelling memoir.
January 11, 2021
I really enjoyed this. I was not familiar with Najla Said or her famous father, Edward Said. I am looking forward to reading some of his work and perspective as well. Najla was born just a year before me. So, I was able to relate to some of her time references, like watching "Who's the Boss" and so forth. It was also sobering to realize how much I did not know what going on around the world. She was so affected by people's view of Arabs and the Middle East, and I wasn't even aware of those things. Very eye-opening. I'm glad I read Najla's memoir.
January 7, 2024
I couldn't put this memoir down. It's such a beautiful, heartfelt coming of age story. I love how Said doesn't shy away from any of the complexities of life, of identity. I also appreciate how she illustrates how difficult it can be to grow up in the US given the typical representation of Arabs in the media. It's a powerful book for people to gain some insight into the burden of growing up as Palestinian-Lebanese in a context in which Jewish is the prevailing norm.
July 15, 2016
What a complex and honest delivery from Said. To be allowed to read of one's otherness, what it makes them feel, think and do, or vice versa. Najla Said reminds us all, that it is our otherness, what a society cannot assimilate (if we do not let them) that will open us up to spaces where we can belong together. A moving memoir.
July 24, 2022
In this beautiful memoir, Najla Said describes everything I felt as a Palestinian woman living in diaspora all these years.
Although Najla narrates her own story & experiences, you can feel her emotions in each and every word she writes. In my opinion, anyone who reads this book can get something out of it and can relate to it in one way or another, whatever his racial & social background is.
Although Najla narrates her own story & experiences, you can feel her emotions in each and every word she writes. In my opinion, anyone who reads this book can get something out of it and can relate to it in one way or another, whatever his racial & social background is.
February 26, 2017
الكتاب بسيط و سلس كأنها صديقة تروى ذكرياتها . الأربع نجوم لما لهذه التجربة الإنسانية من قيمة عندي . تعرض نجلاء سعيد ذكريات طفولتها ، ومراهقتها و نضجها و علاقتها بأفراد عائلتها و المجتمع الأمريكى.
تحكى نجلاء ما تعرضت له من مزايا و ضغوط كفتاة من أصل عربي في نيويورك. الكتاب فيه الكثير من النقاط الجيدة للأخذ فى الاعتبار لتربية الأطفال عموما و تربية الأطفال فى المهجر بشكل خاص:
-حى السكن كعائلة و مراعاة التنوع العرقى و الدينى لكى لا يصبح الأطفال الغرباء الوحيدين
- فى العادة الآباء يهتمون بالمستوى الأكاديمي و الإجتماعى للمدارس التي يلتحق بها أبنائهم . ايضا هنا التنوع العرقى والدينى مهم حتى يتقبلوا الآخر و فى نفس الوقت تكون لديهم الفرصة ليجدوا من يتشابه معهم و يوفر لهم الدعم النفسي.
-عندما يكون كلا الأبوين مهاجرين يكون لديهم الكثير من العادات و التقاليد و حتى انواع الاكل الذي يعرفونه ويحبونه و بالطبيعة تكون هذه الأشياء مقبولة للأب و الأم و يمارسونها بكل أريحية من الأشياء الطريفة التى لاحظتها فى الكتاب إن حتى طعام الغذاء الذى كان يقدم فى المدرسة لنجلاء لم تكن تعرفه لأنها لم تكون مثل الوجبات التي تعدها والدتها مما كان يسبب لها بعض الحرج فى الاختيار فكانت تطلب كل الأصناف كنوع من التخلص من هذا الحرج. المهم فى هذه النقطة ليس مجرد أن كل دولة لها مطبخها الخاص و لكن النقطة المهمة أن أبناء المهاجرين يروا عالم مختلف بشكل كبير عن أقرانهم للوالدين من أهل بلد المهجر اختلاف لغة، طعام، ملابس،عادات منزلية ،موسيقى،افلام و هكذا .
-كل إنسان له تجربته الخاصة و قناعاته التي يكونها من بيئته و بيته و ايضا مجتمعه الجيل الثانى من المهاجرين لديه صعوبات و مزايا و يحتاج الكثير من التفهم من الأهل و مراعاة اختلاف السن وأيضا المجتمع الذي نطالبهم أن يتكيفوا معهم ولكن بمعايير الآباء
فى النهاية أوجه شكر كبير للكاتبة على ما نقلته لنا من تجربتها الشخصية و إن كان كونها نشأتها كابنة لأحد المشاهير صعب و متعب و لكن لا يمنع إني أغبطها لأن محمود درويش كان صديق والدها و كان يجلس ويحكى لها حكايات :)
تحكى نجلاء ما تعرضت له من مزايا و ضغوط كفتاة من أصل عربي في نيويورك. الكتاب فيه الكثير من النقاط الجيدة للأخذ فى الاعتبار لتربية الأطفال عموما و تربية الأطفال فى المهجر بشكل خاص:
-حى السكن كعائلة و مراعاة التنوع العرقى و الدينى لكى لا يصبح الأطفال الغرباء الوحيدين
- فى العادة الآباء يهتمون بالمستوى الأكاديمي و الإجتماعى للمدارس التي يلتحق بها أبنائهم . ايضا هنا التنوع العرقى والدينى مهم حتى يتقبلوا الآخر و فى نفس الوقت تكون لديهم الفرصة ليجدوا من يتشابه معهم و يوفر لهم الدعم النفسي.
-عندما يكون كلا الأبوين مهاجرين يكون لديهم الكثير من العادات و التقاليد و حتى انواع الاكل الذي يعرفونه ويحبونه و بالطبيعة تكون هذه الأشياء مقبولة للأب و الأم و يمارسونها بكل أريحية من الأشياء الطريفة التى لاحظتها فى الكتاب إن حتى طعام الغذاء الذى كان يقدم فى المدرسة لنجلاء لم تكن تعرفه لأنها لم تكون مثل الوجبات التي تعدها والدتها مما كان يسبب لها بعض الحرج فى الاختيار فكانت تطلب كل الأصناف كنوع من التخلص من هذا الحرج. المهم فى هذه النقطة ليس مجرد أن كل دولة لها مطبخها الخاص و لكن النقطة المهمة أن أبناء المهاجرين يروا عالم مختلف بشكل كبير عن أقرانهم للوالدين من أهل بلد المهجر اختلاف لغة، طعام، ملابس،عادات منزلية ،موسيقى،افلام و هكذا .
-كل إنسان له تجربته الخاصة و قناعاته التي يكونها من بيئته و بيته و ايضا مجتمعه الجيل الثانى من المهاجرين لديه صعوبات و مزايا و يحتاج الكثير من التفهم من الأهل و مراعاة اختلاف السن وأيضا المجتمع الذي نطالبهم أن يتكيفوا معهم ولكن بمعايير الآباء
فى النهاية أوجه شكر كبير للكاتبة على ما نقلته لنا من تجربتها الشخصية و إن كان كونها نشأتها كابنة لأحد المشاهير صعب و متعب و لكن لا يمنع إني أغبطها لأن محمود درويش كان صديق والدها و كان يجلس ويحكى لها حكايات :)
July 1, 2013
I received Looking for Palestine as part of a Goodreads giveaway.
In her memoir, Najla Said recounts her early life growing up in New York City. A Lebanese-Palestinian-American, baptized Christian but raised by non-religious, intellectual parents (her father was the literary theorist and academic Edward Said), Najla struggles with issues of identity common to any young girl (body image and social standing) but exacerbated by insecurities over her cultural background and identity. From her childhood visits to Lebanon to her days as a student at Chapin, Trinity, and Princeton, to her current profession as a stage actress whose performances are centered around social justice, Najla comes to embrace her identity and follow in her father's spirit of activism (though in a slightly different way)
The narrative flows beautifully. For being a young woman, Najla has a wonderful sense of perspective about her life and her own mistakes and weaknesses. You find yourself cheering for her younger self as she navigates not only the "normal" insecurities of adolescence, but also the larger struggles of growing up as a second-generation immigrant of Middle Eastern descent. Her travails make her reminisces on her current life all the more satisfying.
Beautifully written and recommended!
In her memoir, Najla Said recounts her early life growing up in New York City. A Lebanese-Palestinian-American, baptized Christian but raised by non-religious, intellectual parents (her father was the literary theorist and academic Edward Said), Najla struggles with issues of identity common to any young girl (body image and social standing) but exacerbated by insecurities over her cultural background and identity. From her childhood visits to Lebanon to her days as a student at Chapin, Trinity, and Princeton, to her current profession as a stage actress whose performances are centered around social justice, Najla comes to embrace her identity and follow in her father's spirit of activism (though in a slightly different way)
The narrative flows beautifully. For being a young woman, Najla has a wonderful sense of perspective about her life and her own mistakes and weaknesses. You find yourself cheering for her younger self as she navigates not only the "normal" insecurities of adolescence, but also the larger struggles of growing up as a second-generation immigrant of Middle Eastern descent. Her travails make her reminisces on her current life all the more satisfying.
Beautifully written and recommended!
March 22, 2016
I respected Najla's honesty and her vulnerability throughout the book. She addressed the Israeli Palestinian conflict as someone who has too many connections to the situation to pretend to be unbiased, as someone who feels like they should be an expert on the subject but is not, as someone who is confused and conflicted and struggles constantly to reconcile what she knows with who she knows. I read this book with the intent to determine whether or not it would be a good choice for the Northeastern Honors Department's First Pages program, and I believe it should be a strong contender. My caveat with that is that there needs to be a system in place to recognize and discuss the socioeconomic privilege that Najla has and that is glaringly obvious throughout the book. She attempts to address it at times, and these privileges obviously do not cancel out her personal struggles with anorexia and racism, but an intersectional approach to this book discussion would do wonders in terms of making sure incoming first-year students realize that you can identify with parts of a person's experience while recognizing the parts that do not apply to you.
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September 2, 2022Words cannot convey how much I loved this book. Although Najla Said is Arab American- her experience as a diaspora baby is almost universal for people who moved to the west as children.
She shares her experiences of growing up confused about her identity, culture, and the difference between herself and her peers. The way she describes and then goes on to dissect these experiences allows the reader to accompany her on her journey of understanding because it takes us from having limited to no understanding to where she is now.
And for those who are not Arab, this book also shows a glimpse of the unique struggles faced by those who are. For example Arab people are diverse and are almost always classed as Middle Eastern when they may be Mediterranean instead. They are immediately assumed to be muslim when they could be Jewish or Christian or something else.
This is a quick and easy read and 10/10 recommend it to anyone and everyone.
She shares her experiences of growing up confused about her identity, culture, and the difference between herself and her peers. The way she describes and then goes on to dissect these experiences allows the reader to accompany her on her journey of understanding because it takes us from having limited to no understanding to where she is now.
And for those who are not Arab, this book also shows a glimpse of the unique struggles faced by those who are. For example Arab people are diverse and are almost always classed as Middle Eastern when they may be Mediterranean instead. They are immediately assumed to be muslim when they could be Jewish or Christian or something else.
This is a quick and easy read and 10/10 recommend it to anyone and everyone.
June 6, 2024
[Listened to Audiobook].
Just because Najla Said might be a nepo-baby doesn't mean she can't write.
Her memoir goes from laugh-out-loud funny to heart wrenching, exploring her ethnic and religious identity and relationship to her father, a lack of "belonging," recovery from an eating disorder, Arab-ness and activism.
Said's memoir isn't a book about Palestine so much as it's a book about how the concept of Palestine informs the life of a fairly silver-spooned daughter of Arab American inteligencia. Like Robert Smigel and Adam Sandler's "Don't Mess With the Zohan," isn't a movie about Israel as much as it's a comedy about Americans' perception of the middle east.
Just because Najla Said might be a nepo-baby doesn't mean she can't write.
Her memoir goes from laugh-out-loud funny to heart wrenching, exploring her ethnic and religious identity and relationship to her father, a lack of "belonging," recovery from an eating disorder, Arab-ness and activism.
Said's memoir isn't a book about Palestine so much as it's a book about how the concept of Palestine informs the life of a fairly silver-spooned daughter of Arab American inteligencia. Like Robert Smigel and Adam Sandler's "Don't Mess With the Zohan," isn't a movie about Israel as much as it's a comedy about Americans' perception of the middle east.
June 30, 2016
I couldn't love this book!! I bought it because of its title but then i was " looking for Palestine " in it and I couldn't find it! I expected much more than this, something else!
July 7, 2021
The only reason I'm not giving this five stars is because I personally would have preferred a stronger political stance from the author, but otherwise this memoir was a very engaging read. I appreciated the author's wrestling with the multiple identities that she was expected to take on; Lebanese, Palestinian, American, Actress, New Yorker, Edward Said's daughter, etc.
Also I personally felt for a book titled "Looking for Palestine," that Palestine played a diminished role. Najla does engage with Palestine but, even to her, it seems Palestine and the Palestinian part of her identity feel somewhat less "realized" than the other parts of her.
This is the first book I have read while searching for published books that are first-person narratives from the Palestinian experience, and while I enjoyed the book, Najla's story doesn't engage with the Palestinian struggle from the inside. I'm looking forward to comparing this book with the writings of her father, even though I'm expecting his work to lean more on the academic and less on the entertaining. I'm a little surprised this book isn't a middle- to high school- grade book because I think that would be a perfect age group for engaging with this story.
Also I personally felt for a book titled "Looking for Palestine," that Palestine played a diminished role. Najla does engage with Palestine but, even to her, it seems Palestine and the Palestinian part of her identity feel somewhat less "realized" than the other parts of her.
This is the first book I have read while searching for published books that are first-person narratives from the Palestinian experience, and while I enjoyed the book, Najla's story doesn't engage with the Palestinian struggle from the inside. I'm looking forward to comparing this book with the writings of her father, even though I'm expecting his work to lean more on the academic and less on the entertaining. I'm a little surprised this book isn't a middle- to high school- grade book because I think that would be a perfect age group for engaging with this story.
September 8, 2024
A lot of reviews for this book say that the title “Looking for Palestine” is incredibly misleading, and I agree. Palestine comes up like twice.
Only the last 15% of this was interesting. The first 85% felt like a generic story about growing up as an Arab-American that could’ve been told by so many different people. Important, but could’ve been condensed into an essay. If the whole book had been like the end it would’ve perhaps been a good memoir.
“So imagine if you grow up trapped in a conflict region, and you are always fearful, and you are under constant threat of attack—whether you are Israeli or an Arab—you are going to continue to hate unless you have an alternative, and many people don’t.”
“Though I’ve never returned to Palestine, Palestine always returns to me.”
Only the last 15% of this was interesting. The first 85% felt like a generic story about growing up as an Arab-American that could’ve been told by so many different people. Important, but could’ve been condensed into an essay. If the whole book had been like the end it would’ve perhaps been a good memoir.
“So imagine if you grow up trapped in a conflict region, and you are always fearful, and you are under constant threat of attack—whether you are Israeli or an Arab—you are going to continue to hate unless you have an alternative, and many people don’t.”
“Though I’ve never returned to Palestine, Palestine always returns to me.”
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