Dear Luke, We Need to Talk, Darth: And Other Pop Culture Correspondences

by John Moe

“Dear Luke, We Need to Talk, Darth is proof that a funny book on pop culture doesn't have to be snide and nasty. I loved everything about it.” —Jim Gaffigan
 
We all know how Darth Vader shared his big secret with Luke Skywalker, but what if he had delivered the news in a handwritten note instead? And what if someone found that letter, as well as all of the drafts that landed in the Dark Lord’s trash can? In the riotously funny collection Dear Luke, We Need to Talk. Darth, John Moe finally reveals these lost notes alongside all the imagined letters, e-mails, text messages, and other correspondences your favorite pop culture icons never meant for you to see.
 
From The Walking Dead to The Wizard of Oz, from Billy Joel to Breaking Bad, no reference escapes Moe’s imaginative wit and keen sense of nostalgia. Read Captain James T. Kirk’s lost log entries and Yelp reviews of The Bates Motel and Cheers. Peruse top secret British intelligence files revealing the fates of Agents 001–006, or Don Draper’s cocktail recipe cards. Learn all of Jay-Z’s 99 problems, as well as the complete rules of Fight Club, and then discover an all-points bulletin concerning Bon Jovi, wanted dead or alive—and much more.
 
Like a like a bonus track to a favorite CD or a deleted scene from a cult movie, Dear Luke, We Need to Talk Darth offer a fresh twist on the pop culture classics we thought we knew by heart. You already know part of their story. Now find out the rest.

Genres: Humor, Nonfiction, Pop Culture, Comedy, Adult, Essays, Satire

304 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2014

Reviews

[Melki · Rating 4 out of 5]

Here's a frequently hilarious collection of letters, lists, journals and memos to and from beloved pop culture icons.

Behold...

- Don Draper's cocktail recipes - all require a healthy dose of sitting in a chair, wondering who you really are.

- Captain Kirk's log - ...these people were threatened in some way but the whole thing got resolved in a little under an hour, mostly by me being brave.

- Clyde, the orange Pac-Man ghost, confesses his secret desire to move to Portland and open a coffee shop.

- Some of Jay Z's 99 problems? That his shiny things are not as shiny as they could be, chafing, where to dump Hal Linden's body, being chased by a giraffe and never "out-cooling" Evel Knievel.

- Bill Cosby's sweaters exchange missives: He wore me around the house today while mumbling about Jell-O Pudding Pops.

- Bruce, the shark from Jaws, keeps a food diary to better understand his eating habits:

It was night and I was swimming around (I don't sleep), and I thought everything would be fine because what human would be out in the ocean at night? Then this lady shows up swimming around. Naked! Now I'm not into human chicks in a sexual way - I'm not a perv or anything - but I see that and I'm thinking, "no nylon swimsuits, no goggles to deal with, just dinner."

I was so disgusted with myself that I couldn't even eat all of her. I dumped her mangled remains on the beach, kind of as a way of saying sorry to the humans. I hope they were able to pick up how contrite I was when they saw her carcass.


Results may vary, and your enjoyment of this book will depend on your sense of humor AND your knowledge of popular culture. While not every bit was a winner, I got quite a few chuckles out of it.

I most enjoyed the running gag of Rejected Superbowl Halftime Show Proposals. Poor Tony Randall can't seem to catch a break, but rock on, Grambling State University Marching Band!

[Beth · Rating 1 out of 5]

I'm pretty sure I have a sense of humor. I don't think it got lost anywhere, and I appreciate a good sarcastic reply or bit of satire greatly. So it was with high hopes that I got this book. Sadly, they were completely unfulfilled.

While the back of the book describes it as "riotously funny", I would disagree. I smiled a couple of times, and maybe smirked a couple more. Very little actual laughter (if any) actually escaped my lips while reading this collection. While some of the writings were creative, others seemed like they were thrown out to fill pages and others seemed almost borderline hateful.

I almost never give 1-star reviews, simply because I tend to be pretty mild-mannered in my likes/dislikes. But for a "riotously funny collection" to elicit no laughter in the entire book, that alone calls for a lower-than-normal review. Having said that, I am well aware that humor is subjective, so what I found to be somewhat dull might be exactly your cup of tea. I'd head to the library and read a few pages before purchasing though. Just to make sure you're not wasting your money.

[Arthur Graham · Rating 3 out of 5]

3 solid stars for a decently imaginative collection of short humor pieces. Some of the scenarios were more inspired than others, and many seemed to follow the same basic formula, but I definitely got some laughs out of them regardless. I'm just surprised that I got so many of the references, since apparently I'm too cool for a lot of the more current stuff. Then again, John Moe is sort of an older dude and I'm pretty out of touch for a relatively youngish guy, so there's a fair amount of overlap w/r/t things we each find interesting and funny, probably meeting somewhere between Pac Man and Mad Men.

All in all, one of the better books I've won in a GR giveaway, although I did end up re-gifting it at the office x-mas party. Maybe the nerdy IT guy who won it in the white elephant exchange will get more chuckles out of it than I did. Me, I get about as much mileage out of a nice bottle of booze, which is what I walked away with this year.

[Koeeoaddi · Rating 3 out of 5]

Some funny stuff, but much of this is like a Saturday Night Live sketch that goes on too long.

Best entries? Leonard Cohen's chat with himself as he hones Hallelujah [beginning with "I heard there was a monkey witch, who's hiding in a nearby ditch, but you don't really care for monkey's, do ya?"] and an music editor's letter to Axel Rose pointing out all the cliches, inconsistencies and poor writing in the lyrics to "Sweet Child 'O Mine."

[Gina · Rating 2 out of 5]

There were definitely a few chuckle-worthy moments here, but mostly it's pretty much the same shtick over and over. Fine if that's your thing, but not much reread value.

[Wendy · Rating 3 out of 5]

Hilarious in some parts, blah in others, although the blah came from the fact that I wasn't familiar with some of the songs/movies/shows in question, so the jokes went over my head. I just skipped those parts. But the parts I was familiar with I thought ranged from amusing to hilarious. Good stuff. Recommended!

[Miss Pippi the Librarian · Rating 2 out of 5]

When I came across this title, the cover drew me in. As author Jacqueline Navin once wrote in a novel, "I adore correspondence. When a letter arrives from a friend it is like getting a small present." Jim Gaffigan also is quoted on the front as saying, "I loved everything about this book." Mr. Gaffigan is one of my favorite comedians, so I thought I would give this book a go.

When it arrived in the mail, the format threw me off. I thought this book would be more like a little coffee table book or one made of collages. The books that came to my mind include the Post Secret series and À la Cart: The Secret Lives of Grocery Shoppers. (Especially, the À la Cart book.) The format is a paperback in black, white, and gray. The correspondences vary from notes to letters to chalkboards. The fonts also are changed up a bit, but nothing too dramatic, so it is all legible.

Unfortunately, I was left with the feeling of "meh." I picked out the letters I could relate to the most and gave them more of my attention than others. It was more skim reading than detailed reading for me. I think my top choices that made me smile were Dora the Explorer's mother, the man with the yellow hat, and Gunther from Friends. Author Moe is clever and offers lots of new background ideas, but his humor is a bit off-putting for me. The pieces that I read turned sarcastic and snarky. Sometimes the language turned me off. I don't enjoy coarse language, so when it gets thrown into a book I don't always feel compelled to continue with it.

If readers enjoy pop culture and the ridiculous, I would recommend this title to them. It is a humor piece written with adults in mind.

I received this book for free from Blogging for Books for this review.

[Eva · Rating 2 out of 5]

Disappointing
I'm...disappointed. This book got so many great reviews, and it was highlighted at Barnes and Noble, so I decided to look for it in my local library. I like to read books before purchasing them for the most part, and I have to say I'm glad I didn't buy this book when I first saw it.

The blurb sounds promising. It basically says I'm going to laugh my head off when reading it. To be fair, I did laugh several times. But it just wasn't enough. Books under the "humor" category should have me laughing more than several times. I want to laugh until tears come to my eyes, not wince when faced with badly-placed jokes about boobs and things that happened in the 70's.

For a book published in 2014, Dear Luke, We Need to Talk, Darth: And Other Pop Culture Correspondences is fairly old-fashioned.

2/5
It was just very...meh for me. I didn't like the humor. While I'm being honest, I think I could have written something more funny. I have a good sense of humor. People laugh all the time when they're with me. I want to laugh, too! But this book didn't do it for me, unfortunately. I had to force myself to read the last half of it, which is a pretty bad sign as a reader. Maybe for the right demographic it would be more enjoyable; I don't think I was the right audience.

[Nemo · Rating 4 out of 5]

To enter the giveaway visit Blame it on the Book

I wasn’t sure what to expect when I first picked this up but I have to admit I was completely entertained. I feel bad for my family because I was constantly calling them over to read different section. It was funny in parts because of it’s ridiculousness, like one of Jay-z’s 99 problems being the direction Doctor Who is taking. And others because it’s something we’ve always thought about, like how Popeye’s spinach was actually drug.

There were parts I had to skip, for example I’ve never seen The Walking Dead and therefore reading about their I.M’s and emails I wouldn’t make me laugh, or make much sense. I did like how after most sections there were super bowl ideas for the half time compared to what actually happened.



Overall it was such a fun and imaginative read that goes by pretty quickly. Recommended for anyone who likes to laugh and is all caught up in pop culture. Since this is such a short review, I’m making up for it by having a giveaway!

[Shaunterria · Rating 4 out of 5]

Dear Luke is a great book for the summer: full of imaginary pop-culture artifacts, it is fast and fun if you don't take it too seriously. As a proud movie/tv geek, I had fun reading this book, especially when I was able to catch some of the more obscure references. Don't try to finish it all in one sitting, otherwise the different sections will start to jumble in your brain...take a break and read Dear Luke when your required summer reading for work or school gets too onerous and you want a quick laugh.

[Kaethe · Rating 5 out of 5]

Moe takes some of the most common elements in pop culture and revisits the stories through letters, drafts, and other ephemera purporting to be from various characters. My personal fave may be the Captain's Log from the television series of Star Trek (TOS). The Offspring were equally amused, even where they are as yet unfamiliar with the source material. If you like this kind of thing (I do!), you'll be entertained for moments at a time (sadly, it doesn't take very long to read)

Personal copy.

[Clint Priest · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book was a huge disappointment. Seemed funny from the title and premise but just fell way short of delivering and seemed to really stretch, often times feeling desperate for the joke that simply was not there. Major let-down. Also more of a bathroom read than anything. Not recommended reading.

[Tanya · Rating 2 out of 5]

I received a copy of this from Blogging For Books in exchange for an honest review.

The book is a collection of letter, emails, blog posts, message board posts, memos, etc. from famous people. I really like the All Points Bulletin about an outlaw named Bon Jovi and Dorothy's letter to Glinda was funny, but most of the other stuff wasn't funny. Oh well.

[Brenda · Rating 3 out of 5]

This got a couple of chuckles out of me, but I wasn't keeling over laughing. The best ones were Pac-Man, Jaws, and Dorothy from The Wizard of Oz. Their thoughtful diary entries were quirky and funny and I loved the different take on them. I might remember the Dorothy one years from now, but the rest will be fairly forgettable.

[Elle Jayne · Rating 2 out of 5]

a book of pop culture respondences and nothing about the Titanic mentioned... but i think the author could write a whole book about 'rejected superbowl ideas' that for some reason they must've thought was the funniest thing ever...

if anything it was definitely an interesting creative writing exercise to write hypothetical letters between popular characters in our culture, but i don't think we share the same sense of humor

[Sharen · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a re-read for me and I highly recommend this book. The short stories are very funny, particularly those addressing song lyrics. Favourites include:
- the diary of "Bruce" the shark from Jaws
- arrest notice for Jon Bon Jovi (Dead or Alive song)
- The evolution of the 00 spies in British Intelligence
- 99 Problems (song by Jay Z) "#20 Hoses on the soda fountain that dispense champagne are getting all gummed up."
- Dorothy's letter to Glinda the Good Witch
- Realtor correspondence to those selling the 'Love Shack'
- Bar owners letter to Billy Joel re; 'The Piano Man"

Light hearted humour looking at pop culture things in a different way.

[Melissa · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have been reading a lot of heavy nonfiction books, so I picked this up from my library as a palette cleanser. I had such a good time reading this! This is a quick read, quicker if you just read the parts about your particular fandoms. My favorite was the Captain Kirk's captain's log and the dark story behind the Ghosts of the PAC-Man game. It ends on a high note with a memo from one of the members of Jefferson Starship on the city they built on rock and roll and now have infrastructure issues to mend.

[Donna Parker · Rating 5 out of 5]

Icebergs, henchmen, Fight Club, The Walking Dead, Friends, Twilight, Dora The Explorer, Jurassic Park, The Superbowl, Beastie Boys, Star Trek, Disney, The Grinch, Seinfeld, X-Files, B-52’s, Twilight Zone, Elton John, NASA, Harry Potter, Kurt Cobain, War Horse - no one is safe from John Moe’s satirical pop culture whimsical correspondence, and I’m so glad.

This book Dear Luke, We need to Talk. Dad Darth and other Pop Culture correspondences by John Moe (Three Rivers Press/Penguin) is hilarious, a remarkable, one might even say, noteworthy poke at pop culture. I love to laugh and when I saw the title on http://www.bloggingforbooks.org I knew I was going to have fun.

Some of my favs include, Bruce: A Shark’s Journal, which had me in giggles, especially the June 14 entry where Bruce fell off the wagon. Some of you may remember the eating issues Bruce had in Finding Nemo, now have that go Jaws.

Also, a letter from the Peanuts gang teacher regarding the lack of adults in Charlie Brown and his friends’ lives; also, how grateful she is to have a job considering her speech issues.

An explanation of what happened to Agents 001 through 006.

All of Jay Z’s 99 Problems.

Concerns about the overall direction the Doctor Who franchise is taking.

A letter to the island on Lost on how to promote tourism there.

Saul Hudson (Slash from Guns’N’Roses) as a Heavy Metal Editor, explaining to Axl Rose why Sweet Child O’Mine isn’t going to be a hit.

CIA report from Agent Gilligan from the Island Project – Gilligan’s Island goes to a dark place on April 21, 1973 when they ate The Howells (It was time)…

A Welp! review of Cheers, Rick’s Café, Bronto Burgers, Overlook Hotel, Bates Motel, etc. A funnier version of Yelp!, not just people whining about the their First World Problems with restaurants, here’s a hint, you can afford to go to restaurants.

Correspondence between Batman’s producer and Neal Hefti the writer of the 1966 Batman theme; this money man versus artist exchange pits artistic integrity against commercialism which explains why the theme ended up being, you know, Na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na Batman! and so on.

Muppet Studios Casting Office where we find out some of the reasons certain Muppets could not be included…

An Oral History of Pac-Man Ghosts (I think Inky had it the toughest). Wocka wocka wocka.

And some dysfunctionally tasty drink recipes from Mad Men:

Drapertini

4 ounces gin
1 ounce vermouth
3 olives
5 tears that I never shed as a boy
Shake, stir, then pour down the sink because those days can never return.

Draper Manhattan

2 ounces bourbon
1 ounce vermouth
2 ounces of aromatic bitters
3 dashes of bitterness about my own need to hurt everyone who loves me
2 scrapes of the grime from that apartment I had after Betty and I split
1 maraschino cherry
Pour contents over ice into a glass, catch a distorted reflection in the ice for a moment, and wonder who you are or who anyone is really, sit in chair.

There, it’ll all be ok now.

http://yadadarcyyada.com/2014/09/08/d...

[Christy Hall · Rating 3 out of 5]

Word to the wise: you need to be up on your pop culture references from multiple decades to find this book funny. I love the SNL feel to the writing - satirical, farcical, witty, hilarious!

Winning sections:
The shark from Jaws keeps a journal: “So this is the journal that I’m supposed to be writing in, as prescribed by my latest therapist. I hope it helps but I have to be honest, I doubt it will...I’ve been through - what - five therapists now trying to fix this problem I have? And I’ve eaten three of those therapists.”

Dorothy Gale’s “thank you” letter to Glinda: “...I confess I do hope to return to Oz one day. Not to visit my traveling companions, mind you; they scared me. I hope whatever Satanic witchcraft animated and anthropomorphized them will wear off and they will be dead or otherwise obliterated. No, I hope to return so that I can somehow find a way to burn down your whole horrible world.”

The minutes from the all-dinosaur meeting (Jurassic Parks + Recreation Department): President Jeff Martin (Tyrannosaurus Rex) thanks his fellow dinosaurs for their nomination as president of the group: “I hope I earned your votes through my dedication and intellect, not just the threat of me eating you.”

Welp Restaurant Reviews for Cheers, Three’s Company, Casablanca, The Simpsons, Seinfeld, The Flintstones, Elvis’s Heartbreak Hotel, Norman Bates’s Hotel in Psycho, The Overlook Hotel in The Shining, and Kellerman’s Resort in Dirty Dancing.

Darth Vader’s unsent letters to Luke, Clarence talking about alternate realities for George Bailey, an editor telling Axl Rose how to write his lyrics better for Sweet Child o’ Mine, Rod Serling’s rejected Twilight Zone episodes, the classified files on the other agents before Bond 007, etc.

The reasons some may not love the book as much: some sections may go on a tad too long (loses the joke a bit), some sections may reference a pop culture element with which the reader is drastically unfamiliar (references from the 60s-current), and some jokes are used over again in different pop culture references.

I would say, it’s a good read if you focus on the ones you like and get, the ones that tickle your funny bone - however, you can skip the ones you don’t get or the ones that you just don’t think are funny.

[Robert · Rating 4 out of 5]

http://hypocriticism.wordpress.com/20...

What if Gillian’s Island were a secret CIA experiment? What are Jay-Z’s 99 problems? What if there really was a Hotel California? What if we took pop culture way too literally?
‘Dear Luke, We Need to Talk, Darth’ compiles imaginary communications of pop culture figures in order to answer these and many other pressing questions.
Each of these fictional epistles reads like an article straight out of The Onion. They’re short, easy to read and genuinely funny. Some were certainly more original than others, but there were a few real gems scattered among several clever pieces.
One downside of relying so heavily on pop culture is that your audience must understand each reference in order for the entry to be funny. However, almost all were prevalent and obvious enough to understand. Assuming that you were born in the 20th century.
Achieving effective satire is not easy. Many try. Most fail. Which is what makes this book even more remarkable for actually being funny. John Moe consistently delivers laughable material in a fast-paced and readable format.
He uses a variety of mediums to allow these pop culture figures to communicate — from emails and to text messages, to interviews and online forums.
Some of the messages rehash age-old questions. Such as why can Goofy talk but Pluto can’t? Others raise a whole new set of questions. Such why did the spaceship leave E.T. behind on Earth in the first place?
Overall, ‘Dear Luke’ was an light, but highly enjoyable read. It provided an off-beat, but interesting commentary on several books, movies and TV shows that we have come to love and question over the past few decades.

[Sonny · Rating 5 out of 5]

Hey, this book is really really funny. Many of the short pieces have appeared on McSweeney's or John Moe's great radio show Wits, but there are plenty of new ones.

They're all clever takes on pop culture: a list of Jay-Z's 99 problems, the Jurassic Park dinosaurs holding a meeting, e-mails from the aliens that left E.T. On Earth. Unless you're totally unfamiliar with the source material (I don't know much about Fleetwood Mac, for example), you'll be amused with each short entry.

I wouldn't recommend reading much all at once. Just like how I wouldn't want to hear 40 knock knock jokes--even good ones--all at once, the fun of the book gets lost if you're just trying to blow through it. Does that make it a bathroom book? Maybe. What's wrong with reading short things not on the toilet, though?

[Erikka · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was awesome. I laughed my butt off through the whole thing. There were a couple sections we skipped because we don't watch the source material (Namely Lost and Breaking Bad), but otherwise all of them were quite good. Some highlights were the Jurassic Park section and the Goofy-Pluto Conundrum. I also enjoyed the Super Bowl rejected halftime shows. Totally a worthwhile read for any pop culture junkies.

[Cyndi · Rating 1 out of 5]

I saw this book in the remainder bin at B&N and thought it looked like a funny book to listen to with the teen and borrowed the audiobook from the library. The teen made it through part 1of 6. We had some fun with the Hotel California and our 99 problems but after that he was out. I can not quit a book, so I slogged through it, but it felt like punishment. There were some genuinely funny moments in there, but they were very very few and far between. Give this one a pass.

[Sabra Kurth · Rating 4 out of 5]

I needed something light to read while sitting with my husband in the hospital. This was perfect. Some of the chapters I shared with him, others I just kept to myself. There were a few clinkers, but overall, this was a great read for our hospital visit.

[Emily Zaremba · Rating 3 out of 5]

Clever! There were some bits that involved shows or sports that I don't know much about, but the other bits were humorous. I would recommend to anyone who likes pop culture.

[Jon · Rating 5 out of 5]

I absolutely loved this book! It was such a fun read and all the pop culture references were great. The kept book kept me laughing through its entirety.

[Jen Morrison · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved it!

[Jess]

Some of these were among my favorite McSweeneys web humor pieces. It was harder to appreciate them all lumped together, but the Bon Jovi piece still made me laugh out loud.

[Shallowreader VaVeros · Rating 2 out of 5]

A book you can di in and out of. Funny enough but it didn't engage me beyond its premise.

[Susan Parks · Rating 3 out of 5]

I'd say 3.5 stars. Some super funny bits (The diary of Bruce, the shark for Jaws was so funny.)