Obscene Thoughts: A Pornographer's Perspective on Sex, Love, and Dating

by Dave Pounder, John Marshall Townsend (Foreword), W.B. King (Editor)

Obscene Thoughts: A Pornographer's Perspective on Sex, Love and Dating examines progressive, intellectual and academic constructs regarding mate selection, sexual behavior and the reasons why people cheat. Obscene Thoughts investigates and deconstructs core socioeconomic and biological values and the sexual behaviors of men and women, in a fresh, distinct manner.

Genres: Nonfiction

260 pages, Kindle Edition

First published June 13, 2013

About the author

Esteemed pornographer Dave Pounder has produced, directed, and performed in adult films for over a decade, with over one hundred titles to his credit. He holds a bachelors degree in finance from Michigan State University and a masters degree in information management from Arizona State University. He has lectured on the topic of adult entertainment at several policy and academic institutions, including Indiana University, UCLA, and Emory University. Pounder has studied human sexuality and media economics and Indiana University and was accepted into the public health graduate program at UCLA and the doctoral program in business at Concordia University (Montreal) to study the mainstream consumption of pornography under the tutelage of evolutionary psychologist Dr. Gad Saad. Pounder currently lives in Boca Raton, Florida.

Reviews

[Ann]

Awful...just terrible. Unsupported conclusions masked with vocabulary to attempt to fool you into thinking the author is credible.

[Doug Walsh · Rating 2 out of 5]

This is an at-times funny and interesting book full of plain-spoken truths that a lot of us already know about male/woman psychology as it relates to sex. The problem with the book is that it is extremely repetitive and the analogies the author uses to make his point run from the obvious to the patently absurd. In an attempt to extend the manuscript, the reiteration of his main point -- we men are dogs and sexual promiscuity is a biological imperative -- begins to reek of too much barstool psychology. I don't disagree with many of the author's claims, I only wish they could have been made more concise and with less ridiculous analogies.

[Íris · Rating 2 out of 5]

Tudo o que precisam saber acerca deste livro:

[Falando em Termos Gerais e Evolutivos]
1. Os homens querem sexo com tantas mulheres bonitas e atraentes quanto possível para espalharem os seus genes pela terra inteira.
2. As mulheres querem estabilidade e segurança financeira e emocional tanto para elas como para os possíveis filhos no futuro.

E é isto que se repercute por 344 páginas fora.

Ah, também fala sobre como para os homens que trabalham em pornografia é mais um hobby do que uma profissão, enquanto para as mulheres é estritamente uma profissão, onde o dinheiro importa mais do que a pessoa com quem vão fazer sexo.
Na verdade, vejo muitas opiniões baseadas em dados científicos e evolucionistas do que perspectiva, o que é um pouco decepcionante.
Na verdade, não aprendi praticamente nada.

[Tom Quinn · Rating 3 out of 5]

More frathouse philosophy than a work of rigorous research. This book reads a lot like a college term paper on which the professor would write: "Cite your sources."

Pounder argues that men are evolutionarily "designed" to want sex with many partners, women are evolutionarily "designed" to want to limit their partners to those men who will provide support for their offspring, and relations between the genders would be more productive if we all kept this in mind.

It's an interesting line of thought and surely the basis for some fun dorm room discussions, but if you want hard data and experimental evidence you'll have to look elsewhere. To be fair, the author is up front about this from the start, affirming that his claims are supported anecdotally.

Not a bad read. 3 stars out of 5.

[Jenny · Rating 1 out of 5]

Actual quotes from this book -

"Men who don't cheat likely do not have the opportunity to cheat.... TELLING A MAN NOT TO CHEAT IS LIKE TELLING A WOMAN NOT TO HAVE HER PERIOD."

"Ultimately, DECEPTION IS A NECESSARY COMPONENT OF A SUCCESSFUL LONGTERM RELATIONSHIP between a man and a woman."

"Men who are faithful typically are the ones who don't have sexual options (i.e. are short, lacking social status, little or no resources)."

And trust me, this was just a small sampling of the same idea throughout. I think a more accurate title for this book would be 'Disgustingly Shallow Thoughts Repeated Ad Nauseam.' We get it Dave Pounder, you think only 10s deserve to get fucked, and the rest of us should just be thankful someone was kind enough to throw us some pity dick/pussy.

[Glen Chern · Rating 4 out of 5]

What I expected was a book extolling the value and virtues of pornography. Instead, the author provided valuable insight into male-female relationships and the role that infidelity plays in such. David Pounder gives men and women valuable advice regarding the various forms of cheating and how each partner should approach the subject in their lives.

[Jack · Rating 3 out of 5]

The only reason I rated this as highly as I have is that I believe the author has highlighted some vital issues in contemporary society. I'm disappointed, however, that these were not dealt with more extensively.

As I progressed through it, I started to feel that he kept on repeating variations on the same story with just minor variations that really didn't seem to add much meaning to the whole theme but seemed only to make the book larger.

Since he claims to have read great numbers of books and studies related to his topic, he might have done us a greater service by including more of them (names and details) in this work. As it stands we're left with mostly anecdotes from his past and a few punch lines from comedians which made the same points as he did.

[Terry Collins · Rating 3 out of 5]

Editorially, this book is a mess. Valid points are pounded into the ground again and again to the point where the message becomes lost. However, it’s still very readable and made me think about the differences in how men and women approach marriage and long term relationships. The author does dare to speak truths that both sexes prefer to keep hidden, or better yet, truths that we ignore.

[Saba S-c · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved that book, because it was nothing I expected. I was surprised throughout the whole read.
My favorite part is: "To believe a man is faithful, is like believing in God!"
Great stories about relationships and what men do and thinks.
Very easy read.

[Jenny Whetzel · Rating 5 out of 5]

VERY interesting read! Being a woman while reading this, I found myself feeling defensive on certain subjects. But I tried to keep an open mind while reading this book. This was an easy read and some of the points that the author brought up made perfect sense.

[Doctorly · Rating 1 out of 5]

This is absolute dribble written by a pseudo intellectual who mistakes casual observations cherry picked from his life for actual scientific evidence. Offensive to both men and women.

[Rueben · Rating 1 out of 5]

0.5

[Nicolette · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book by David Pounder gives a unique perspective into the thought processes that influences human sexual behavior and how that translates into some stark differences between the genders. Pounder bases his findings on research, his own personal experiences, and interviews that he has conducted with members of both genders. Much of the ideas surrounding our mentality to sex, according to Pounder, goes back to our primal evolutionary instinct. The author recognizes that a male has the drive to have sex with multiple partners while women have the need to procreate. While I thought the view was somewhat simplifying a much more complicated issue, Pounder presents his ideas in a logical fashion that made it easy for me to see things from his perspective.

If you are wondering why it seems as if men and women are from different planets at times, this book can give you many answers as to why we behave the way that we do. I loved the cat and dog analogy because in many ways this is true. If you are interested in human sexuality from an anthropological or psychological standpoint this book is worth investigating. I applaud Mr. Pounder for using his unique experience in the adult sex industry to give more insight into the male mind, whose fantasies act as fuel for the pornographic industry.

[Katarina · Rating 5 out of 5]

Obscene Thoughts is a well written, witty book written from the refreshingly candid perspective of an industry veteran. I've read several books on the topic of Evolutionary Psychology but this is my favorite thus far as he expertly applies EP to our dating habits. Dave Pounder distills the clinical and dense material into understandable and easily digestible anecdotes and analogies. Pounder is a wonderful storyteller which made reading this book highly enjoyable.
As I read through I couldn't help at times be sensitive with the author's general conclusions towards women who have chosen not to marry or have children.
The author's use of analogies were helpful in driving the key points of the book and found myself laughing at many of them. I do however take exception to his assertion that women in their 40's are like a penny vs a young woman in her 20's being a $100 bill. I know my worth is far more than a penny.
This is a must read for anyone looking to navigate the treacherous dating market!

[Chris Becker · Rating 4 out of 5]

How can I criticize something that helped me learn? A unique offering for sure!

[Ogi Ogas · Rating 3 out of 5]

My ratings of books on Goodreads are solely a crude ranking of their utility to me, and not an evaluation of literary merit, entertainment value, social importance, humor, insightfulness, scientific accuracy, creative vigor, suspensefulness of plot, depth of characters, vitality of theme, excitement of climax, satisfaction of ending, or any other combination of dimensions of value which we are expected to boil down through some fabulous alchemy into a single digit.