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384 pages, Mass Market Paperback
First published May 6, 2003
"Are you telling me you ran off to marry knowing that your father disapproved of your husband, knowing he would disinherit you, knowing that such an elopement would cause a scandal that would even now keep all the doors of Society closed to you, and yet you did it not for love, but because you were bored?"
"What brings heartache?"
"Life," Charlotte replied, closing her eyes and giving in to the pain that filled her. "It seems like all I've done lately is fight for what I want, but for what purpose? I fought to come back to England and ended up penniless and unwanted by my own family. I fought to marry Dare and ended up a burden around his neck, driving him deeper into despair with his worry about my life with him. I fought to show him that I would stand by him, that I love him no matter what happens, and yet everything positive in my life -Dare being the exception- everything I've fought for has been stripped from me. [...] The problem is that I'm not necessary. There is no rhyme or reason to me. I am needed by no one. Ladies of our class are useless, worse than useless, dependent on everyone for everything, from cooking their meals to dressing themselves. When's the last time you dressed yourself, Caro? Combed your own hair? You see? I'm no better than the rest of our class. All I've been raised to do is look pretty and entertain people and spend my husband's money. There's no future in any of that for me -Dare wouldn't notice if I suddenly sprouted an extra limb or two, there's no one left in the ton other than you who will acknowledge me, and I have to admit that a lifetime spent with the sole purpose of entertaining you is not what I'm looking for in a life goal, and as for spending money, there's nothing to be spent."
"There was a small fire, my lord. Nothing serious, and it was extinguished almost immediately, but not before the flames rendered the mattress unsuitable." -Batsfoam's shortest ever response to anything. That alone should've seemed suspect.
"I tried, I honestly tried! I wore naughty underwear, I allowed him to catch me en dishabille on many occasions, and I even sought advice from the local strumpet as to how to arouse the passion of Antonio's manly instrument, but to no avail. His instrument resisted all my efforts. I think it hated me," she added darkly.
"Oh, I'm sure that wasn't-"
"It wouldn't even twitch for me! [...] It wouldn't make even the slightest effort on my behalf. If that's not cruel and petty minded of a manly instrument, well, I don't know what is!"