Worthless

Finding You #1

by Debra Strattford

A M/M romance novel.

‘I love you.’

Thomas never imagined love like this, and never thought to find it in such a sacred place. He’d lived a lot, tasted a lot … and thought falling in love was impossible, unless he could find the most perfect man on earth. Thomas thought that nothing good could come from an afternoon of pleasure with a perfect blond, but he was wrong. Hot lips, eager hands, and gentle murmuring in his ears. Words so sweet and difficult to erase. A world full of feelings for a man who had experienced too much.

From London to Paris, between winter and summer, the love of Robert and Thomas ... Can it withstand everything?

Genres: M M Romance, Romance

584 pages, Kindle Edition

First published December 4, 2013

Reviews

[Mel · Rating 2 out of 5]

I am so, so, so sorry to have to say this but there were so many things that did not work for me in this book.
First of all the book is basically the story of Thomas and Robert. Robert is a brilliant Psychiatrist. Thomas is at University working on his thesis. There is about a 10 year age difference. The story begins in present time where we meet the guys after having been married for five years. Then Thomas begins to reflect on his life when he met Robert.

Thomas has had a difficult life. He has grown up with his best (straight) friend John. Thomas and John enjoy sex….uhm no that's not quite right….they enjoy orgies. And not just your run of the mill several couples all having sex together. Thomas likes to be taken by 20plus guys at a time while each one waits to take his turn! I mean, damn, his hole would be like the Grand Canyon! After leaving one such orgy, he runs into Roger …they end up having sex (really! with the gaping hole that is probably still dripping with other men's cum because none of them where condoms!!!! ewwww!!!) So, then we get to see how the two of them end up falling in love.

Things that I just didn't get:

Weren't these guys from the UK?? Because their speech patterns did not sound that way…it was more like English was a second language????

Flash backs were not well defined. I often found myself going back several pages to find out if it was past or present!

No condoms! What year was this?? I don't recall ever seeing that it was pre HIV???

Overly use of the word Love

Conversations were strange

Insta love much??

John tells Robert that Thomas always sleeps in the nude even in winter…yet many times Thomas is putting on pajamas and getting into bed!

Then there was the ending….
I can't even begin to fully understand what happens at the end of the book. It was so confusing. Our image of Robert has been one of understanding, loyalty, love and faith then bam!! He's fucking some guy in his living room when Thomas returns??? WHAT. THE. FUCK.!!!!

Then comes some strange conversation with ?Hammond?? And Thomasgoes to the orgy king, and he may never return?? Ohh and Robert never tries to contact Thomas and get him back after he is caught!!! It just didn't seem like the image of Robert we are given!

What was good
The premise of the story is great! Even the very confusing cliffhanger ending could be good!
I think what the book needs is MORE EDITTING! Someone to help bring it in to tighter, more easily read and understandable book.

All of that being said, I really want to know what is going to happen to these guys! I can't stand it when I don't have all the pieces to a puzzle!! LOL

[Sue Milkovich · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a terrifically written very loving, in depth love story. It's written in such an interesting way that sometimes you can get a little lost. The relationship between Thomas and Robert is told from Thomas's point of view. Thomas has never been in love and is not sure what love feels like so he questions everything he feels. His best friend John tries to help him get through this process and is always there for him. The insta-wet moments when they happen are out of this world. This story takes you through every emotion, the good and bad of love. I did enjoy this book very much, however I did question the ending. I was left shaking my head. I sure hope there is a follow up for Thomas and Robert. After all love of that magnitude must go on, right?

[clear skies]

I have no idea what I read.

There are no words to describe this book.

[Sandra · Rating 3 out of 5]

Robert and Thomas love each other very much, but Robert, who seems to have everything, gives a lot to the one he loves, yet Thomas feels as though he has nothing to give him back. Robert knows this, and the only thing he expects in return is his love and affection. Thomas is a jet setter type who has always liked to live life to the fullest. Thomas also couldn't believe that true love couldn't come from one sensual afternoon together, but stranger things happen when people fall in love.

Worthless starts with Robert giving Thomas a gift, but in true Robert style, it's no ordinary gift, it's a Chopard L.U.C. Lunar watch. I like his style, his element of surprise. What is more interesting is how Robert loves to give gifts, but doesn't like them in return, though Thomas would have loved to have gone out and bought him something as a surprise. His stressful work life is what prevented him from doing this and on first sight of the gift; he feels the guilt overcome him.

Thomas's friend, and co-worker, John is tired of his work life too, wishing he was somewhere else so he could relax and forget work altogether. As they are in the middle of making what is supposed to be a successful movie, he thinks John should be able to work things out, but in John's mind a vacation is the only motivation he needs to unwind. Thomas could get angry at him, but he feels the same way too. When they get to Paris and check into a hotel together, he notices how John does start to unwind, and look at the potential women around him. He sees him as an observer, but also a "predator" where women are concerned, but that isn't what bothers him. There are several problems that start to happen with Thomas and Robert's relationship; Thomas has just decided to go on a trip with John without mentioning to Robert, when he phones and tells him John could have come to him with his problems as he's a psychiatrist. I got the feeling Thomas didn't want to abandon someone in need as he isn't just a co-worker, he's a friend.

It doesn't take long to find out that Thomas isn't as happy with his love life as he thought he was. He does love Robert, but he misses the days when he could date other men and enjoy the freedom of sex at parties with several men while John made out with his women. Those, in his mind were the good times, but now he feels he can't devote his life to just one man. This one man he wants and needs is John, but as he isn't gay there's no point in pursuing him. At least that is the theory, but one night Thomas teases him about his cigarette habit, and he wonders whether John is completely straight.

For what starts out as the perfect relationship from one person's perspective, it is a shock to think that Thomas would want more from the relationship, but not from him, from other men, his friend John for one. Why he would want to cheat might be beyond some, but for Thomas, he is used to the variety of men he has got before he met Robert. Something else that I considered was would he like it if Robert decided to cheat too? In theory, if he likes the variety, maybe Robert would too, but will he accept it? Thomas likes the strong, dependable types, though he is weak and teary part of the way through this novel. He wants to be loved and to love, but he can't have everything when Robert wants a faithful man.

Despite the heartache, there is some good humor in this between Thomas and John. John, it seems has always been there in the past and when it looked like he would stray, John reminded him he would never find another like Robert. Worthless is an emotional roller-coaster of a novel where even the most ideal relationship can go awry. I really felt for Robert who asked him from right at the beginning if he was prepared for a relationship and also prepared to deny all other men. I suppose at the time Thomas thought it was a good idea as he was swept up in the newness of love, but he could live to regret his decision. They say a leopard can't change its spots, and that could be true of Thomas. With this novel, the enjoyment is in the twists and turns the characters find themselves, Robert seems stable, but the further into the story I went, I saw that Thomas wasn't the same, he is a mixed up man who doesn't know what he wants from life.

[Lissa · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is mostly a series of flashbacks into Thomas's past. It is told in first person from his perspective. He recalls his meeting and early life with his partner Robert and how his life was changed from that of an, 'anyone will do' mentality to an, 'only Robert will do' mentality. His present has been a bit rocky and just when he decides to clear everything up, things make a turn for the worst.

Thomas and Robert's story is a love at first sight plot. Probably my only real criticism of the book is that their relationship seems to develop far to quickly in the beginning, and doesn't feel natural. However, beyond that they have a wonderful love story with a lot of steamy scenes. There definitely seems to be more to the story after this one. The book ends with quite the cliff hanger, with a change in first person view from Thomas to Robert.

Honestly, there were a few typos and places that seemed to repeat. And yes the utter lack of condom use or HIV even being mentioned was a bit ridiculous. However, overall it was very well put together and beautifully written. I found it an excellent read and cannot wait for the next to arrive.

[Meghan Reads MM · Rating 4 out of 5]

Generally speaking I liked this story. The characters were sympathetic and mostly well-developed. The story itself is a self exploration of one man's experience of a relationship from the beginning to a difficult time period a few years down the road. It follows his memories of how it started to how his past influenced his perception of the relationship and his reactions to various events as his relationship develops over time. Periodically the view points of the other 2 main characters are included as a way to broaden the reader's understanding of what is happening.

It would have been better if it hadn't been written in first person and if the past and future scenes had been delineated from each other somehow. The very end is abrupt and really leaves us hanging in uncertainty since we don't know if this is really the end of their story or if it will be continued in the next book of the series.

[Mike · Rating 3 out of 5]

Intense, complex, and intriguing characters are explored, mostly via flashbacks as a young, troubled gay player is courted and romanced an older, loving, caring and seemingly patient doctor. The relationship seemed to move quickly in terms of time in the characters' lives, but I found the exploration of the budding love to be rather slowly drawn out (and I usually have the opposite complaint). Overall, however, the three central characters (the couple and a straight, brother-like best friend) were compelling, drawing me in with both their sympathetic attractions as well as imperfections. The ending was surprising, unsettling, and seemed to be rather out-of-character and incomplete. As this title is listed as part of a series, I would expect some potentially interesting explanation of the concluding developments in a sequel, but the next installment has yet to arrive!

I really want to find out what happens in the sequel.

[Abby M · Rating 5 out of 5]

When I first started reading, I thought this was going to fall into the usual pattern of books in the M/M genre. However, the end of Worthless shocked me. I found it so heartbreaking that I obsessed on it for 2 days before I finally messaged the author begging for the sequel. This book is not for everyone (as I saw from another review), but there was something that connected and resonated with me in Thomas and Robert's story. My only complaint was the cover. I don't like covers that feature images of the characters, and the man on this cover was not how I pictured Thomas. Mini Spoiler Alert- this is a love at first sight story that does not have a happily ever after (yet).

[Vfields Don't touch my happy! · Rating 3 out of 5]

Worthless was an interesting book with big ideas and lots to say. Almost too much to say. I like a long tale but I kept getting lost and had a hard time with the stylized writing Debra Strattord used. I can't tell if
I really liked the choices these two MCs made. Until this book I didn't notice how few orgies I read in all my books and it was very confusing.I also got annoyed about them already having a great relationship and still wanting more. The book was worth it but I think a serious writer/editor workout was sorely needed.
I have faith Strattford will only get better.