Shoulda, Coulda, Woulda: Live in the Present, Find Your Future

by Les Parrott III

'If only...' 'I should have...' 'What if...' Don't punish yourself with regret. It only poisons your daily life and robs you of the peace you long for. Instead, transform past pain into a powerful force that propels you toward a better tomorrow. Dr. Les Parrott, a leading relationships expert, gives you encouragement and direction to redeem your past and live fully in the present. He shows you how to cope with regret and guilt, replace shame with self-respect, learn how to forgive yourself, and keep new regrets from piling up. Dr. Parrott also gives you solid guidelines for making better decisions in the future. With this book, looking at your past will bring healing and growth---not regret, guilt, or shame. You can pack away your if-onlys, give perfectionism the boot, and rejoice in who and where you are today.

Genres: Christian Living

208 pages, Hardcover

First published December 23, 2003

About the author

#1 New York Times best-selling authors, Les and Leslie. A husband-and-wife team who not only share the same name, but the same passion for helping others build healthy relationships. In 1991, the Parrotts founded the Center for Relationship Development on the campus of Seattle Pacific University - a groundbreaking program dedicated to teaching the basics of good relationships.

Married in 1984, the Parrotts bring real-life examples to their speaking platform. Their professional training - Leslie as a marriage and family therapist, and Les as a clinical psychologist - ensures a presentation that is grounded, insightful and cutting-edge.

The Parrotts are New York Times #1 Best Selling Authors. Their books include the award-winning Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts, Love Talk, Real Relationships, The Parent You Want to Be, The Hour That Matters Most and Crazy Good Sex.

Each year Les and Leslie speak in over 40 cities. Their audiences include a wide array of venues, from churches to Fortune 500 company board rooms. Their books have sold over two million copies in more than two dozen languages.

The Parrotts have been guests on many national TV and radio programs such as CNN, Good Morning America, CBS This Morning, The View with Barbara Walters, NBC Nightly News, and Oprah. Their work has been featured in USA Today and The New York Times.

Visit their website for lots of free resources at www.LesandLeslie.com

Reviews

[Michael Goldman · Rating 2 out of 5]

While I learned to no longer regret what I've done in my past, had I not, one of my greatest regrets would the time I wasted reading this book. While the premise is great and there are many useful tips, the repetition eventually ground me down to the point where I was tempted to skim.

Dr. Parrott (if I didn't know better, I'd think that name was a joke but either way it's appropriate) seems like the motivational speaker of the highest order that he is. He definitely has the: here's what I'm going to tell you, now I'm telling, here's what I've told you triad down to a science. Though I don't know how well it relates to book form.

What really annoyed me, however, as a humanist was the "twist." After being relatively secular in his advice for about the first two-thirds of the book, his solution to regret is "be in grace with God." Now, I don't begrudge believers this (and the bible passages leading up to it should have given it away), but I needed some more Eartly based advice.

Not a terrible book - some of his chapter starting anecdotes are hugely entertaining (though occasionally they seem like an exercise in working out his own issues) - but it contains a pamphlet's worth of information in too long as form.

[Sara Blickenderfer · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5⭐️ Lots of good content-was just a slow read for me for some reason.

[Kathleen · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved Dr Parrott's writing style. I have had a life time of shoulda, coulda and woulda's. It is so hard to get out of that habit and live in the present. This book gives you pointers on how to live in the present.
I listened to the tape and read the book on this one.

[Bruceschneider21 · Rating 1 out of 5]

The title was what caught my attention, but the content was not what I must have been expecting. The book is all about changing your thoughts and attitudes so you will not have regrets. I guess I do not have guilt, shame or poor self concept as there was little in this book that I could use.

[Dustin S · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book had good information to describe the differences between regret, guilt, shame, and resentment but without becoming a religious zealot it didn't give any good options to self cleanse it. It was fascinating to read in some areas but seemed redundant in others.

[Yuna Sanli · Rating 4 out of 5]

good to read... trust me

[Wayne Presnell · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great book on the subject of regret. Great book for pastoral illustrations. Highly recommended.