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Fighting Mad: Practical Solutions for Conquering Anger
How do you deal with anger and its emotional buddies? Parents, children, spouses, siblings, coworkers, even friends—we all struggle with situations where we experience feelings of anger. Dr. Ray cuts through psychobabble to present a realistic picture of anger and other emotional issues, and then offers practical solutions for overcoming them. The first chapters provide a basic understanding of anger and clears up common misconceptions, and each subsequent chapter focuses on a different aspect of anger. Most of the time anger and its causes are well within our control—and conquering those angry impulses are in our control, too. Let Dr. Ray show you how!
The audio edition of this book can be downloaded via
The audio edition of this book can be downloaded via
- GenresNonfiction
151 pages, Paperback
First published December 27, 2013
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Displaying 1 - 11 of 11 reviews
January 18, 2015
I know that much of what I learned in this book will stay with me, though it could also be good for a re-read at some point. Or at least a review of the parts I underlined. In the beginning I kept wishing there was less defining and more advice on conquering anger, but the defining was necessary. I appreciated the manageable length and the short-ish chapters that made it possible to read one every morning and then think about it through the day.
March 23, 2021
I'm a Dr. Ray fan, so I grabbed this off the library shelf when I saw it. I didn't think I had a particular need for it, but it was just general wisdom. Always a good thing. I ended being surprised by how practical and applicable it was! This book has advice if you struggle with anger, or if someone close to you (like a spouse) struggles with anger. It also has advice explicitly for parents when their children become angry. Whose children aren't angry from time to time?!
It was a comfortable and easy read. Each of the short chapters developed a particular train of thought. I read just a couple chapters each night, so that I could mull over them. This is general wisdom for everyone! It contained practical and easily applicable wisdom that everyone can use at some point in their life.
This book did not have Dr. Ray's usual jokey tone; it was fairly straight forward and serious. I did recognize some familiar arguments from his radio show. As an amateur armchair psychologist, I found this book fascinating. It was everything I love about psychology. It did not contain cheap psychological tricks to manipulate yourself, or others, into desired behaviors. Instead, it offered actual knowledge about yourself and others to help you live a better life. Reading this book got me interested in the field of psychology again. It wasn't just someone listening non-judgmentally and non-helpfully to me endlessly prattle and whine about life. It offered actual tools and processes to help the reader become a better person. It provided a path and then challenged you forward.
I found it interesting that Dr. Ray mentions that anger can be used to strengthen resolve and motivate yourself into a needed, but tough, accomplishment. Anger isn't automatically negative. This was like intellectual candy for me to read!
Dr. Ray also addressed the question of whether certain behaviors are "normal" by showing that question to be irrelevant. Does it excuse bad behavior, if others do it too? The proper question is whether certain behaviors are "good". Elsewhere Dr. Ray urges readers to take ownership of their emotions, rather than being ruled by them. Tough love is used when needed. Refreshing! This book was very catholic friendly in that it constantly pointed back to truth.
I found the "Rehearse vs. Reverse" chapter particularly insightful. Popular wisdom encourages people to write letters, journal and do other activities to explore and explain their 'truths'. A simpler version of this is simply dwelling on past conflict and thinking about what you "should have said". The problem is that these activities fortify your own perception of events and close you off from understanding others. They are very "me"-centric. You become less flexible and accommodating which actually hinders your ability to resolve conflict. Next time you are in conflict, instead of rehearsing what you should do or say, try reserving yourself out of your position and seeing it from the other person's point of view. So helpful!
It was a comfortable and easy read. Each of the short chapters developed a particular train of thought. I read just a couple chapters each night, so that I could mull over them. This is general wisdom for everyone! It contained practical and easily applicable wisdom that everyone can use at some point in their life.
This book did not have Dr. Ray's usual jokey tone; it was fairly straight forward and serious. I did recognize some familiar arguments from his radio show. As an amateur armchair psychologist, I found this book fascinating. It was everything I love about psychology. It did not contain cheap psychological tricks to manipulate yourself, or others, into desired behaviors. Instead, it offered actual knowledge about yourself and others to help you live a better life. Reading this book got me interested in the field of psychology again. It wasn't just someone listening non-judgmentally and non-helpfully to me endlessly prattle and whine about life. It offered actual tools and processes to help the reader become a better person. It provided a path and then challenged you forward.
I found it interesting that Dr. Ray mentions that anger can be used to strengthen resolve and motivate yourself into a needed, but tough, accomplishment. Anger isn't automatically negative. This was like intellectual candy for me to read!
Dr. Ray also addressed the question of whether certain behaviors are "normal" by showing that question to be irrelevant. Does it excuse bad behavior, if others do it too? The proper question is whether certain behaviors are "good". Elsewhere Dr. Ray urges readers to take ownership of their emotions, rather than being ruled by them. Tough love is used when needed. Refreshing! This book was very catholic friendly in that it constantly pointed back to truth.
I found the "Rehearse vs. Reverse" chapter particularly insightful. Popular wisdom encourages people to write letters, journal and do other activities to explore and explain their 'truths'. A simpler version of this is simply dwelling on past conflict and thinking about what you "should have said". The problem is that these activities fortify your own perception of events and close you off from understanding others. They are very "me"-centric. You become less flexible and accommodating which actually hinders your ability to resolve conflict. Next time you are in conflict, instead of rehearsing what you should do or say, try reserving yourself out of your position and seeing it from the other person's point of view. So helpful!
October 28, 2019
It started out a little meandering, but lots of great points by the end. I like his humor, and I feel like he had some really good thoughts on managing anger, forgiveness, and keeping control of your emotions. Recommend if anger and holding a grudge are holding you back.
May 11, 2017
Good pointers and message. A bit repetitive as he is stretching a pamphlet into a book.
June 11, 2019
Interesting and practical.
March 21, 2023
I felt it picked up 2/3rds of the way through. Worth reading. The first 2/3rds we're necessary to lay terms for the last 1/3rd. Fast read either way.
June 10, 2015
Fighting Mad is a book by Dr. Ray Guarendi, which is billed as "Practical Solutions for Conquering Anger." I have a lot of vices, like any person, but I can thankfully say that anger is not one of them. Nonetheless, I am a Dr. Ray fan, so I thought I would read this book a chance. The book has 22 chapters, each about seven pages in length, with questions for each title. Some of the titles are, "Trait or State," and "Ally or Adversary." In "Trait or State," Dr. Ray compares and contrasts trait anger, which is something that makes up your personality and state anger, which is anger in certain environments. He then offers solutions for each. "Ally or Adversary" explains how anger can be channeled into something positive or it can be channeled into something negative. Each chapter builds on the previous one and there is a conclusion at the end with a summary paragraph on each chapter. I found that very helpful as it helped to condense and crystallize the material into an easier to remember form.
As someone with a degree in psychology, I found this to be a fascinating read. It was practical and filled with a plethora of examples both real and fictitious. The tone was casual. The humor was present, but not over the top. It was just what I'd expect from a Dr. Ray book. I would recommend this book for anyone dealing with anger, either personally or with children. It is no substitute for actual therapy/counseling, but it is an excellent starting point on the subject. I leave you with my biggest take away from this book, and that is that true forgiveness can wipe away the most corrosive effects of anger. So if you find yourself angry at someone, truly forgive them. It's a lot easier than not forgiving them.
As someone with a degree in psychology, I found this to be a fascinating read. It was practical and filled with a plethora of examples both real and fictitious. The tone was casual. The humor was present, but not over the top. It was just what I'd expect from a Dr. Ray book. I would recommend this book for anyone dealing with anger, either personally or with children. It is no substitute for actual therapy/counseling, but it is an excellent starting point on the subject. I leave you with my biggest take away from this book, and that is that true forgiveness can wipe away the most corrosive effects of anger. So if you find yourself angry at someone, truly forgive them. It's a lot easier than not forgiving them.
September 11, 2015
Every one should read!!!!!!!
Totally awesome book, great explanations to every day thoughts we run though our own heads. I'm so grateful to have found this book, will read and retread....
Totally awesome book, great explanations to every day thoughts we run though our own heads. I'm so grateful to have found this book, will read and retread....
January 18, 2015
Hoping this helps me to help my sons. Be in control of your anger rather than your anger controlling you. Hold your tongue. Pray!
November 30, 2015
Good advice, written in Dr. Ray's unmistakable style. Nothing really new to me, but it's always good to be reminded of the stuff I already know!
January 11, 2015
Great practical advice.
Displaying 1 - 11 of 11 reviews