Loving Disagreement: Fighting for Community through the Fruit of the Spirit

by Matt Mikalatos, Kathy Khang

Book of the Year 2023—Englewood Review of Books

What does it look like to love someone you disagree with? Fighting, hatred, dissension—these things seem common in the wider Christian community today. Politics, theology, and even personal preference create seemingly insurmountable rifts. It’s hard not to see ourselves as “at war” with each other.

We’re not doomed to be stuck here, though. There is a twofold path out of this destructive war, out of seeing our brothers and sisters as enemies—and into a spacious place of loving each other even as we disagree.

In Loving Disagreement, Kathy Khang and Matt Mikalatos bring unique insight into how the fruit of the Spirit informs our ability to engage in profound difference and conflict with love. As followers of Jesus are planted in the Holy Spirit, the Spirit grows and bears good things in our lives—and relationships and communities are changed.Each chapter features author conversations about the communal and cultural implications of the fruit of the Spirit.Book includes a glossary of social and cultural terms.“I encourage everyone to pick up several copies of this book, hand them to your friends (and frenemies), and let the conversations begin.” – José HUMPHREYS III, author of Seeing Jesus in East Harlem and coauthor of Ecosystems of Jubilee

Genres: Christian, Faith, Theology, Nonfiction, Book Club, Christian Living, Christian Non Fiction

196 pages, Kindle Edition

First published October 1, 2023

About the author

Matt Mikalatos writes in a variety of genres, and also writes for film and TV. He lives in the Portland, Oregon area with his wife, three daughters, and a gigantic rabbit named Bruce.

Reviews

[Kaitlyn Paden · Rating 5 out of 5]

I've never written a book review before, and I hesitate to call this one because that implies that I am smart and cool and other adjectives. I am none of those things, however, so I am simply going to call this a "Bookish Ramble" because that's what it is. A stream of consciousness that comes from a brain that barely works, so bear with me because I have ADHD and this is going to go in so many directions you're gonna need a map.

I'm going to start this with the fact that I have read many of Matt Mikalatos' books, and I'm a big fan, to the point that he most definitely has a restraining order against me. However, I have never read any of Kathy's work, though that is definitely going to change.

Her writing is both compelling and convicting, and there were many times I read something she wrote and I was able to understand a whole new point of view that I never would have even thought of before. The first instance that comes to mind is when, on page 16, she writes about how telling people to find their identity in only Christ can completely diminish their ethnicity and culture, which was a great introduction to the book, because like I said, it was only 16 pages in.

There were also a few times where some things I've experienced aligned with something she wrote about experiencing, or times where she would bring up neurodivergence within the church, and I felt like that meme of that kid on a bus who chuckles and goes "I'm in danger", because I felt very attacked. On page 151, I wrote (I annotated my copy) just that when she talks about how her not being heard when she spoke about certain topics and situations can result in frustration and anger on her part. There were a few times where I was reading and thought back to certain things that have been said to me, within the church or outside of it, and thought to myself, "Huh. Maybe that was a bigger deal than I thought it was. Maybe it wasn't okay for them to say that to me."

As an autistic person, I get attached to certain things, places, and people. Very, very easily. Which brings me back to Matt Mikalatos. The first work of his I read was his Sunlit Lands trilogy, and I have since read quite a few more of his works.

I love how he can inject humor into serious topics without taking away the gravity of the situation. That's something I struggle with. I'll deflect with a joke, or laugh when it's not an appropriate time, but he manages to bring a little levity, while always making sure that the serious point is stated, and expanded upon.

My favorite chapter that he wrote was probably Chapter Four, which was all about peace. Or I should say, Shalom.

The first time I ever heard the word "Shalom" was on NCIS, which if you wanna speak about attachments, the level of obsession I had with that show definitely should have clued me into the fact that my brain was definitely not normal. But I digress (hey, I've always wanted to say that. I feel so accomplished now).

Until I read this chapter, even though I knew of it's existence, I never knew what Shalom really meant. What it looked like. This chapter explained it to me.

And the things I just talked (typed?) about aren't even THE MAIN THING. Which just proves how impactful and informational and other i words this book was for me. It shows how deep both authors dig into the main topic, which is simply How to Disagree With People, But Also Love Them at the Same Time. (Spoiler alert, read Galatians 5:22-23. It'll give you a pretty good idea)

Now I ain't no snitch, nor am I a plagiarist, so if you want to have all the epiphanies I had, you'll just have to read the book yourself, because at some point I'd just have to copy paste the book here and that can't be legal.

And I hope you do, read the book yourself that is, because it put into words so many things that I have wondered about, and so many things that I didn't even know I needed to wonder about.

It left me with answers, but it also left me with questions. Important questions that we all need to dwell on, like, how can we be the people that God has called us to be, how can we live the life He has called us to live, all the while disagreeing with people? What actions must we take in order to become more Christ like even when doing so doesn't always look like what we were taught and what others might tell us?

I'm not going to sit here and pretend I understood every word I read (that'll take a few rereads) and that I perfectly inhabit the fruits of the spirit and that I know exactly everything I've done wrong and how to perfectly fix it. Because that would be ignorant. And I am many things, but that is not one of them. (Like I said earlier, I am no adjective.)

But back to my point, taking the first step and getting informed and understanding God's intended reality, His Shalom, is imperative.

What does the first step look like in your life. And are you willing to take it?

[David Zimmerman · Rating 5 out of 5]

Full disclosure: I work for the publishing house behind this book, which has now won two critical awards--Book of the Year from the Englewood Review of Books and Faith & Culture Book of the Year from the Evangelical Christian Publishers Association. (Tied with Digital Liturgies by Samuel James.) It's earned these accolades as a creative, collaborative, respectful, candid consideration of how we can love one another when our convictions don't sync up, how we can maintain dignity--that of our selves and that of our enemy--when we find ourselves in conflict.

[James · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love disagreement. Especially when it is online and far removed from my IRL, embodied existence. When these conversations get personal and feel close to home, I don't love disagreement all that much. There are conversations with people I love, that I don't want to have, and I find myself avoiding topics of politics, race, and sexuality with certain people who I love and respect and don't want to hurt.

But while I don't always love disagreement, I love Loving Disagreement using the lens of the Fruit of the Spirit from Galatians 5, Kathy Khang and Matt Mikalatos discuss how we can have conversations with others in ways that are loving, joyful, peaceful, patient, kind, good, gentle, faithful and self-controlled. In short, they explore what it is means to communicate with others in way that informational, and reflects God's heart for the world. Note: this doesn't always mean, "be nice" or "be civil" but it does mean speaking truth in love.

Also, this is just a fun book. Mikalatos and Khang take turns writing about each fruit, but the end of the chapter is a discussion between them about the chapter's theme. Really great stuff!

[Persis · Rating 5 out of 5]

It's a very human reaction to want to run from conflict and disagreement in the church. But I would argue that it's impossible to grow as individuals and communities otherwise. Even coming to faith for the first time required a disagreement - a disagreement with my former self. And that's only just the beginning.

The authors of "Loving Disagreement" see disagreement as opportunities to grow in the fruit of the Spirit, and they get very, very practical. After all, who needs love, patience, kindness, etc. if every human interaction went perfectly (for me)? How would we learn if we were never exposed to people who think differently? We wouldn't. And do we honestly think we get everything right all the time? We don't. The chapters based on each "fruit" examine what happens when we don't deal with these conflicts well, and the growth that can occur when we approach these situations with love and humility.

I listened to the audiobook twice. The two authors were the readers, and it added to the content. It was like sitting in the same room as they discussed their stories and their personal desire to grow in the fruit of the Spirit.

Having spent many years in conflict-avoidant religious groups, I've seen what happens when fear leads to denial, when disagreements are unaddressed, and when unity is only as deep as the conformity. Thus "Loving Disagreement" is a book I've long been waiting for. The church of Jesus Christ deserves better because the Holy Spirit is able to grow fruit in the unlikeliest places. Lord, give us faith to believe this!

I highly recommend this book. It's my number 1 for 2023.

[Jen Bradbury · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a treasure. Loved this book on the fruits of the spirit. Despite having studied this topic a lot, this book approached it with fresh eyes. Also loved the good, honest dialogue between Kathy and Matt. I hope lots of people read this during what’s sure to be a divisive election year. I know I’ll be recommending this a lot!

[Matt Curtis · Rating 3 out of 5]

So full disclosure I’ve traveled in the same ministry circles as one of the authors for many years. We don’t know each other well just enough to “say hi “


Ok first the good stuff: I listened to this on audible. Both Matt and Kathy are prolific, experienced podcasters. And listening to this felt like listening to two really smart people talk on a podcast. If audiobooks are your jam this one will work for you. Matt and Kathy read their respective chapters to great effect.

Kathy’s chapters on patience and self control were really well done and Matt’s chapter on kindness was by itself worth the price of the book.

I thought focusing on the fruit of the spirit as a way of talking about handling disagreement provided a good framework/structure for the discussion.

There were some problems with execution of their very worthy idea. One of them is that Matt and Kathy present themselves as coming from different perspectives and so are able to model loving disagreement. And in fairness they do in fact have different ethnic, cultural, and gender identities. But they share a progressive vision of the “good life” both in terms of theology and politics. For what it’s worth I’m not using “progressive “ as a pejorative here rather as descriptive of the framework they’re working from. At least with respect to the content of the book I could detect no areas where the two authors had a divergent point of view from each other. Differing approaches maybe but not different positions with respect to the particular issues they raise. The result is a lot of the book comes off as less as a book about working through difficult issues and more a series of lectures about how conservatives, particularly white male conservatives just need to be better. And look we do need to be better. But maybe the title of the book should’ve been “why white Christians lack the fruit of the spirit and how they can change .”

At the end of each chapter Matt and Kathy interact over what the other person wrote. These sections are by turns the best and worst parts of the book. The idea was I think to model loving disagreement. What was good about these sections is Matt would tease out important points made by Kathy. At other times though the questions felt less aimed at each other and were more aimed at again .. finger wagging at the worst versions (read charcuteries)of white conservatives. Kathy does this even in how she frames her “questions” for Matt . Of the two Kathy is way more finger waggy than Matt.

I’m glad I read the book because it got me thinking in a deeper way about whether or not the spirit is bearing good fruit in my life and community. But I don’t think it’s really a book about engaging with those you disagree with and more an attempt on the part of the authors to call people they disagree with to change. Which again is fine.. I just don’t think I’d have bought that book . And so I didn’t get what I was looking for out of the book.

[Katie Nguyen Palomares · Rating 5 out of 5]

Khang offers this piece of wisdom for our consideration:
“But I pray that our faithfulness continues to invite us together, even when it’s uncomfortable or awkward. Because in our commitment to faithfulness–true faithfulness, rooted not in sameness but in discernment–we will find ourselves together in God’s presence in ways that live out the Good News for our extended family and communities,” (Khang, 128, emphasis added).

Throughout the whole book, Kathy Khang and Matt Mikalatos both invite the reader to reimagine and to raise the bar of what disagreement can look like amongst believers. And not only that, but to imagine what fruit can actually be born out of Christians collectively fighting for community and faithfulness through engaging in loving disagreement with one another.

The book ends with this reflection from Matt:
“It takes time for fruit to appear, but if we truly have the Holy Spirit in our lives, we can trust that fruit is coming. Over and over, our lives should and will bear fruit. It’s a high bar in one sense, but in another it’s just what we expect a healthy tree to do.
May God bless us with more fruit as we argue and disagree and grow together in the years to come,” (Mikalatos, 173, emphasis added).

For those of you who, like me, feel yourself beginning to spin from the growing polarization in and out of the church…

For those of you who desire to embody and live out the Good News for your families and your community…

For those of you who are questioning if it’s possible to ask questions without winding up going at each other’s throats…

For those of you who are wondering how to live and love and bear the fruits of the Spirit in today’s culture and climate…

I commend this book to you.

It is well worth a read, and may even engender something in you that I personally haven’t felt for a long time…

Hope.

[Beth Green · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was very thought-provoking!

This book is not about civility or politeness, but about moving through disagreements on important topics (politics, racism, cultural erasure, sexuality, neurodivergence, patriarchy, mental health, etc) with care and love. But there is also an important distinction noted early on that we can’t “agree to disagree” if people are being harmed by someone’s position or actions.

Each chapter has a conversational style as it focuses on one of the fruits of the Spirit (from the Christian Bible’s book of Galatians), redefining those terms, and providing insightful contemporary applications—such as when advocating for the most vulnerable, or (loudly) calling out injustice in the world or within a community of faith.

By having two authors, who bring both humility and humor to the book, there is a balance of views and experiences needed for this topic.

This book is not a detailed “how to” get through disagreements successfully but a higher level discussion on how to reframe thinking and behavior so that difficult conversations can occur with respect and love for others.

[Traci Rhoades · Rating 5 out of 5]

How you interact with this book depends on where you are in your faith walk. It makes several important points and the back-and-forth conversation worked well as an approach. However, I longed for a broader look at disagreement. Maybe more voices. A less American view of the church. I long for the books that invite not only varying ethnic voices to the table, but the Catholic, the Brethren, the African church, the Orthodox.

The stories were good, but more stories told from many perspectives would have advanced the conversation a good deal.

[Theresa LeBlanc · Rating 4 out of 5]

Powerful read!

Powerful. Gave me insight from different perspectives. Interesting, edifying, educational and challenging. Gave me a lot of food for thought.

[Kay · Rating 4 out of 5]

I didn’t agree with everything written, but I suppose that is the beauty of this book. Overall, it gave me a lot to think about and a reminder of things to work on.

[Christine]

I'm still chewing on this...

[Josh Olds · Rating 4 out of 5]

Have you…like…been online recently? Read the comments of a news article? Had an uncomfortable conversation with that one very opinionated coworker? Maybe you are that one very opinionated coworker? We live in polarizing times. A 2022 Lifeway study found that half of churchgoers preferred a politically homogenous congregation and more than half believed that their church was politically homogenous. Even outside of politics, theological battles rage between denominations as each group calls themselves the “true” believers. Politics, theology, and personal preferences often create deep rifts in communities—how are Christian supposed to overcome these very real divides? Loving Disagreement: Fighting for Community through the Fruit of the Spirit looks at disagreements through the lens of the fruit of the Spirit, showing readers how to engage in thoughtful, meaningful, substantive, and respectful disagreements.

The problem, authors Matt Mikalatos and Kathy Khang write, is not the presence of disagreement or even the voicing of disagreement, it’s the tone which the disagreement takes. Is there a way we can disagree well? Matt Mikalatos has been a missionary, author, and writer for several years but it’s possibly his social media presence that I appreciate about him most. Matt is opinionated. Matt shares those opinions. And Matt disagrees well—and deals appropriately with those who don’t. In the often-toxic spaces of Internet discussions, Matt’s social media is a place I know there’s going to be good and healthy conversation. Because that’s the community Matt has curated. I’m not the only one who noticed. His publisher, NavPress, reached out to him and asked him to write about this subject. They also suggested a coauthor—Kathy Khang. Kathy is an activist and author and—importantly for this conversation—a woman and a minority. Her perspective brings something to the table that Matt can’t offer. The result is a book from two very different people who don’t always agree, who are always friends, and whose friendship is bound up in their mutual desire for justice and peace and love of Jesus.

Loving Disagreement is basically a conversational reflection on the Fruit of the Spirit—love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Each chapter is between 12-20 pages and while either Kathy or Matt take the lead in the conversation depending on the chapter, the book is structured as a conversation that focuses on the communal and cultural implications of living out the fruit of the Spirit. This fruit of the Spirit framework is super helpful in structuring the book because it’s pretty difficult to get around or argue against the literal fruit of the Spirit being a bad or insignificant thing.

Khang and Mikalatos’ irenic tone and engaging stories make the book personal as well as global. The two offer practical solutions, often from their own lives, for working out disagreements. When we disagree with someone, it’s often easy to get tunnel vision. You can’t see outside of the problem. Loving Disagreement offers a neutral, third-party, non-emotional perspective, giving readers a paradigm for entering into a disagreement in a different way.

One thing that I should point out is that Loving Disagreement does not necessarily solve disagreements. This isn’t a book about how to argue someone to your side. Nor is it a book about you should lie down and let the other person run you over. It’s a book that teaches readers how to maintain their convictions even as they build bridges. It’s a book that encourages difficult conversations as part of building community. It’s a book that shows us that unity is not the same as uniformity and that there is a great importance in our collective connection as part of the Kingdom of God.

Loving Disagreement is a significant contribution to the discourse on how Christians can engage with one another in a loving, respectful manner, even amid profound disagreements. The book is not only a guide to handling conflict but also an invitation to embrace a more faithful metric for engaging in disagreements through the lens of the fruit of the Spirit. Read this book before you engage in your next social media argument.

[Bob · Rating 4 out of 5]

Summary: Moving beyond impasses or civil discourse to loving one another in Christian community while honestly engaging our conflicts through the working out of the fruit of the Spirit in our lives.

I’ve often found things are little different, and sometimes worse, in Christian community, when it comes to conflict. Often we’ll paper over differences with niceties and placations while we inwardly seethe. Or we just walk away. Or we just keep lots of things off the table and relate at very superficial levels. At its worst, we’ll line up everyone in the church on sides and demonize the others until we split the church.

Some propose the ideal of civil discourse, the best we can hope for in “civil” society. This means rules of engagement separating issues we disagree about and people we respect, reflective listening, avoiding ultimatums, looking for common ground. Kathy Khang and Matt Mikliatos believe we can do better than that in the Christian community because of the indwelling of the Holy Spirit and the fruit this results in that give us the capacity to love across our differences.

The authors, who never met each other in person before writing this book together, practice what they preach. They come from very different cultural backgrounds. They alternate chapters on each of the fruit of the Spirit and ask questions of each other that tease out different perspectives that enrich the discussion. We see the two of them practice this at the very beginning of the book. Matt had initially been approached about writing the book, then Kathy had been proposed as a co-author. Matt thought Kathy would never do it and says, “I decided not to mention it to Kathy. I planned to politely decline for both of us.” Only when a mutual friend asked, “why are you saying no for Kathy” did he reconsider. In the introduction, we read how they process this, how Matt realizes the hurtful impact this has even though intent was good, and how Kathy has often had brothers speak for her as a woman and person of color. What Matt didn’t know was that this was a project she did have energy for. They model embarrassing honesty and grace, and something more–they discover a shared vision for something more than mere civility.

Reading the book, while I appreciated the unpacking of the meaning of each of the nine fruit of the Spirit, what I most appreciated was the dialogue between Matt and Kathy at the end of each chapter. Rather than the “Yes, but…,” that characterizes many dialogues, their are appreciative reflections and searching questions: how can I grow in love toward people I find the most challenging? do you have any examples of a conflict being resolved well and resulting in peacemaking? can speaking truth be kind and comfortable? what is the difference between the “niceness” that makes other people comfortable and the kindness that allows for clear action?

Along the way, discussions of fruit expose dysfunctions in many evangelical churches. The chapter on goodness lays bare the difference between goodness and the legalism many of us grew up with. They explore the difference between joy and toxic positivity. The chapter on self-control not only explores control of body, mind, and emotion but how we deal with anger and when we need to be angry.

Perhaps the key idea in this book is that Christ-shaped Christian community is worth fighting for. Instead of mere niceness or civility, there are times we need to get our disagreements out in the open, even while determined to stay in the ring out of love for those who are called into this same community. We will mess up, need to apologize, and forgive. And the world will see something compelling. The world knows how to fight but it doesn’t know how to love while fighting. The world has seen plenty of fights split people up. It hasn’t seen people fighting to stay together. That’s the kind of loving disagreement that Khang and Milkiatos says the Holy Spirit makes possible. They challenge us to ask, might we do better?

[Dave Courtney · Rating 3 out of 5]

My awareness of this book and its authors came from being a subscriber to and active listener of The Faacinating Podcast, which both authors co-host with fellow pastor and author JR Foresteros. One of the reasons it came on my radar was because they mentioned the book during their end of the year top lists of favorite reada alongside On Repentance and Repair: Making Amends in an Unapologetic World, a book I also bought and am reading alongside this one.

They explain the genesis of this book in the first chapter, born from an idea to tackle the subject of disagreement using the perspective of the two different authors. The way the book is structured is, each writer takes an assigned chapter on one of the fruits of the spirit, writes a reflection in relationship to navigating disagreements through the lens of this particular fruit, and then end with some back and forth responses between the two of them regarding the initial thoughts. It's intended not just to offer insight and ideas, but to actually put it into practice with the two writers speaking from different places and perspectives.

It's an interesting approach, one that will bear more fruit (pun intended) if you find a connection with one of the two authors. If you don't, there is a chance that the dialogue portions might become more of an observational exercise than an immersive one. Even if thats the case, the actual reflections are compelling enough to make this a worthwhile read. There are some insights that will remain with me, such as the portion that speaks to the history of the word blessed, the idea that joy cannot be bought, but it can be intentionally shared and multiplied, that peacemakers don't dismantle conflict, they actively make a world where conflict exists a different and better one more beholden to the world God desires and intended, that righteousness is not good works but rather completeness or wholeness, that patience is a willingness to wait in ways that contrast the things that oppose the fruits without a guarantee of outcome, that goodness is inherent and declared not earned, that faith is not belief but an active and trusted allegiance to Gods goodness (faithfulness), that faith is public not private, that gentleness is passive but proactive in its empathy, and that love is a multifaceted concept.

Perhaps most important, the authors remind us with the chapter on self control that the fruit does not mean we get these right. In fact, the biblical witness is expressive in its qualitative picture that we get these things wrong, likely more often than not. The fruits also don't function in isolation. To lack in one is to compromise them all. The good news of the Gospel is that these fruits are an embodiment of the nature and character (or name) of God. We find them in God even as we strive to embody them in our lives in ways that don't always bear the fruit we want in our lives and in our relarionships. The fruits don't function as a way of knowing ourselves (as in, this person is patient and this person is not), they function as a way of knowing God, and as we know God, we know the hope that God is love, that God is patient, and that God is above all faithful to His promise to make what is wrong in this world right. To pursue the fruits of the spirit is to find our hope in this.

Important words for me as this book crossed my path in the midst of some real and important interpersonal conflict. It's a reminder that if I felt the fruits of the spirit weren't being made evident in my life in the midst of disagreement, then I was also not bearing out the fruit I hoped for in my own life. Meaning, I had lost sight of God in the midst of it. One of the beautiful things about how the fruits work is that all it takes is putting one into practice for all the others to come into view. And with that a renewed knowledge of God.

[Susan Maas · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loving Disagreement calls Christians to a deeper commitment to loving others and seeking true peace with others, not just civility, but love as shown through the fruits of the Spirit. With so many divisions in society--political, religious, racial, and more--Christians are called not just to tolerate others, but to truly love them. Such a love can build relationships, even with people we disagree strongly with. And such love can draw others to Christ.

I love the way the authors alternate chapters, each giving a slightly different slant on things--and then have a mutual discussion at the end of each chapter. Both authors are open with their mistakes and failures, and there's a certain amount of humor in the telling, especially from Matt. Kathy does a great job of presenting the positions of ethnic minorities and women. It is a book that needed two authors to do it right. They have given me a lot to think about and strive for. Highly recommended.

[Kara · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a really interesting and challenging read. I constantly struggle with the peacekeeper vs peacemaker dynamic, and so much of Kathy’s perspective was good for me to hear. Civility is a good way of wording the underlying dynamic of my church/Christian experience for much of my life. And being “Iowa nice” in Iowa makes it even harder to hear/think about (though Chicago is still Midwest where Kathy is.) It “feels” confrontational. Then Rom 12 talks about being at peace as much as it depends on you. I clearly haven’t reached conclusions. One part that I especially appreciated was the spotlight on the fruit being communal and not just individualistic. I really appreciated this being hit on at various times. I tend to focus on the individualistic side of it (again, upbringing.) I did like the back/forth conversation, and am glad I included it in my fruit reading-thanks to Persis for the rec!

[Sarah · Rating 5 out of 5]

A must-read for all Christians in our time of outrage addiction and hot takes. The authors structure the book around the fruit of the Spirit to discuss what it might look like for us to lean into the Spirit when we're interacting with people we disagree with. I found this book helpful as someone who tends to avoid disagreement and conflict; I think people with the opposite inclination would find it helpful also. We are called to love our neighbor whether we like and agree with them or not. This book helps us imagine what that could look like in real life.

[Truett Newton · Rating 5 out of 5]

“At the same time, I wonder if God maybe wants us to recognize the huge distance between what we can accomplish even when we’re trying our best, and what God requires of us. But I don’t think this gap is meant to create despair. It’s meant to create dependence. It is after all the fruit of the spirit, not the fruit of trying really hard.” Pg.172

[JR. Forasteros · Rating 5 out of 5]

Why does meaningful connection to other people feel like a vanishingly rare experience? Maybe it’s the very fact that we’re more connected than ever that has revealed we have deep, significant differences that can’t be chalked up to agreeing to disagree. How do we build relational bridges across such real gulfs? Khang and Mikalatos use the fruit of the Spirit to dive beyond clichés and into the real work of relationships. Their wisdom is not easily applied, but for those who want to experience the kind of oneness Jesus promises to his followers, the picture they paint is inviting and full of hope.

[Lindsey · Rating 1 out of 5]

Had a hard time getting into this so I never finished. Maybe some other time.

[Justin Lonas · Rating 4 out of 5]

Helpful dialogue on how we actually love our neighbors, without papering over real divisions.

[Zoe Brickner · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book makes me think. A lot to agree with and some to disagree with (then again, that’s the whole point of the book). We can disagree as humans, and still love each other.

[Kim K! · Rating 2 out of 5]

Really just opinions, doesn’t really describe or use the fruits of the spirit biblically as it claims that it does — really neat conversational writing style though!

[Madolynn · Rating 5 out of 5]

Between my church’s recent sermon series on bearing the fruit of the spirit and the tense political climate we find ourselves in now, my reading of this book felt incredibly timely. Loving Disagreement is written by two authors that are clearly very passionate about Jesus and the body of Christ. They don’t always have the same viewpoint on certain topics throughout the book, which demonstrates the whole point - our love for Jesus should empower us to step beyond our different lived experiences and viewpoints in order to love one another better. Khang and Mikalatos don’t shy away from challenging topics and conclude each chapter with a dialogue to dig deeper and reflect on the topic together. Loving Disagreement is a great resource for Christians who are familiar with the fruit of the spirit, but want to deepen their understanding of what that fruit really looks like in one’s life. It is also very edifying to Christians who want to see genuine healing and unity in their communities, but don’t know where to start.

[Sharon · Rating 3 out of 5]

My AudioFile review:

LOVING DISAGREEMENT
Fighting for Community through the Life of the Spirit
by Kathy Khant, Matt Mikalatos | Read by Kathy Khang, Matt Mikalatos
Philosophy & Religion • 6.5 hrs. • Unabridged • © 2023
Podcasters Kathy Khang and Matt Mikalatos have long engaged in conversations focusing on today's culture and its rocky connections to Christianity. In this audiobook, their warm voices outline the harsh realities dividing today's Christian communities--infighting, hatred, and factionalism, among them. Bringing harmony to this discord, Khang and Mikalatos present a method to help listeners disagree with compassion and grace. In a conversational style, they lay out Saint Paul's fruits of the Spirit, found in Galatians 5:22-26: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. In each chapter, their sincere tones and unhurried pacing offer contemporary ways to "be guided by the Spirit," avoiding the conceit, competition, and envy that plagued the people of Paul's day, as well as people today. S.G. © AudioFile 2023, Portland, Maine [Published: DECEMBER 2023]

Trade Ed. • Oasis Audio • 2023
DD ISBN 9781645557265 $27.99