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The Tending Instinct: Women, Men, and the Biology of Relationships
“A tour de force . . . The Tending Instinct elevates women’s natural strengths in caregiving and befriending to a long-deserved prominence in society. A crucial message for us all.” —Daniel Goleman, author of Emotional Intelligence
For generations, scientists have taught us about the “fight or flight” response to stress. But is this instinct universal? Renowned psychologist Shelley E. Taylor explains that “fight or flight” may only be half the story. Humans—particularly females—are hardwired to respond to stress differently. As Taylor deftly points out in this eye-opening work, the “tend and befriend” response is among the most vital ingredient of human social life.
Ranging widely over biology, evolutionary psychology, physiology, and neuroscience, Taylor examines the biological imperative that drives women to seek each other’s company, and to tend to the young and the infirm, bestowing great benefits to the group but often at great cost to themselves. This tending process begins virtually at the moment of conception, and literally crafts the biology of offspring through genes that rely on caregiving for their expression.
In the tradition of groundbreaking books about the science of human nature such as Daniel Goleman’s Emotional Intelligence and Steven Pinker’s The Language Instinct , Taylor’s book will change forever the way we talk and think about ourselves.
For generations, scientists have taught us about the “fight or flight” response to stress. But is this instinct universal? Renowned psychologist Shelley E. Taylor explains that “fight or flight” may only be half the story. Humans—particularly females—are hardwired to respond to stress differently. As Taylor deftly points out in this eye-opening work, the “tend and befriend” response is among the most vital ingredient of human social life.
Ranging widely over biology, evolutionary psychology, physiology, and neuroscience, Taylor examines the biological imperative that drives women to seek each other’s company, and to tend to the young and the infirm, bestowing great benefits to the group but often at great cost to themselves. This tending process begins virtually at the moment of conception, and literally crafts the biology of offspring through genes that rely on caregiving for their expression.
In the tradition of groundbreaking books about the science of human nature such as Daniel Goleman’s Emotional Intelligence and Steven Pinker’s The Language Instinct , Taylor’s book will change forever the way we talk and think about ourselves.
308 pages, Paperback
First published May 8, 2002
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Displaying 1 - 4 of 4 reviews
September 18, 2007
This book presents a new view of the importance of relationships and social support in maintaining good health. Taylor presents her idea that women respond to stress differently than men do, by "tending and befriending." An important step forward in the stress research. I like her argument though it has a few shortcomings.
September 17, 2021
I rather appreciated being female after this, an unusual feeling for me. While the sociological drawbacks still outweigh them, there’s some psychobiological benefits to it.
January 4, 2010
I learned some things about gender differences that have helped me understand relationships better. This was Nancy Stockwell's book club pick.
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February 21, 2012The Tending Instinct: How Nurturing is Essential to Who We Are and How We Live by Shelley E. Taylor (2002)
Displaying 1 - 4 of 4 reviews