The Only Thing Worse Than Witches

by Lauren Magaziner

Rupert Campbell is fascinated by the witches who live nearby. He dreams of broomstick tours and souvenir potions, but the closest he can get to a witchy experience is sitting in class with his awful teacher Mrs. Frabbleknacker, who smells like bellybutton lint and forbids Rupert’s classmates from talking to each other before, during, and after class. So when he sees an ad to become a witch’s apprentice, Rupert simply can’t resist applying. But Witchling Two isn’t exactly what Rupert expected. With a hankering for lollipops and the magical aptitude of a toad, she needs all the help she can get to pass her exams and become a full-fledged witch. She’s determined to help Rupert stand up to dreadful Mrs. Frabbleknacker too, but the witchling's magic will be as useful as a clump of seaweed unless Rupert can figure out a way to help her improve her spellcasting—and fast!

Genres: Fantasy, Middle Grade, Childrens, Magic, Humor, Witches, Juvenile

272 pages, Hardcover

First published August 1, 2014

About the author

Lauren Magaziner is the internationally bestselling author of the The Incorruptibles series, the Case Closed series, The Mythics series. She is also the author of stand-alone humorous middle grade books: The Only Thing Worse Than Witches, Pilfer Academy, and Wizardmatch. Lauren is originally from New Hope, Pennsylvania, and she currently resides in Philadelphia, where she writes full-time. You can visit her at laurenmagaziner.com or follow along with her newsletter at laurenmagaziner.substack.com.

Reviews

[Tara · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is an utterly hilarious, utterly charming book, full of just the kinds of zany jokes and clever twists that will make it an immediate favorite among kids (and humor-loving adults!) The key ingredient here, I think, is a touch of absurdism, which Magaziner works into her story masterfully. The comparisons with Roald Dahl are absolutely apt.

The main character, Rupert, forms a solid center for a tale populated with fantastically wacky supporting characters--my favorites being Mrs. Frabbleknacker, Rupert's gleefully sadistic fifth-grade teacher, and bunny-phobic Witchling Two, who needs Rupert's help practicing for her upcoming magic exam (though she could teach Severus Snape a thing or two about how to make a perfect-tasting Egg Salad Potion).

I can think of so many kids who will eat this book up when it's published in August. I can't wait to share it with them!

[Mike in Nevada · Rating 3 out of 5]

My granddaughter bought this book for me after her brother told her he liked it. I would have liked it just for that reason, sharing their love of reading; but it also is a sweet fantasy tale that early readers would enjoy. Characters' names are silly, but that probably makes it more charming for young people.

[Jen Malone · Rating 5 out of 5]

Rupert Campbell is fascinated by the witches who live nearby. He dreams of broomstick tours and souvenir potions, but Rupert’s mother forbids him from even looking at that part of town. The closest he can get to a witchy experience is sitting in class with his awful teacher Mrs. Frabbleknacker, who smells like bellybutton lint and forbids Rupert’s classmates from talking to each other before, during, and after class. So when he sees an ad to become a witch’s apprentice, Rupert simply can’t resist applying.

But Witchling Two isn’t exactly what Rupert expected. With a hankering for lollipops and the magical aptitude of a toad, she needs all the help she can get to pass her exams and become a full-fledged witch. She’s determined to help Rupert stand up to dreadful Mrs. Frabbleknacker too, but the witchling's magic will be as useful as a clump of seaweed unless Rupert can figure out a way to help her improve her spellcasting—and fast!

I could drown in the adorableness that is this book. Lauren has such a great grasp on middle grade language. Her characters don't walk, they clip-clomp or slump around. And her character names are THE BEST: Mrs. Frabbleknacker, Mr. Gummyyum, Rupert Archibald Campbell. People don't live on Main Street, they live on Druscle Close. And they don't work as accountants. Oh no. The main character, Rupert, has a mom who works as an ice cream flavor taster and ALSO as a writer of fortune cookies fortunes. Um, yes. Just yes. To all of this. I can't wait to read this out loud to my daughter's third grade class this year!

[Cheryl · Rating 2 out of 5]

Not hilarious, not thought-provoking, just silly. Even the title is a throwaway. Even lighter than Ruth Chew, definitely less interesting than Roald Dahl. And to compare it to Wayside School is just ridiculous. Sorry.

[Cliff Bathke · Rating 4 out of 5]

1. Rupert is in 5th grade and loves the witches that live near him. He wants to be just like them and ride a broom and make potions. He gets upset because the closest person he has meet to a witch is his teacher Mrs. Frabbleknacker, who smells like belly button lint. One day he sees a posting for witches apprentice and Rupert just knows he wants the job. When he gets the job he learns that being a witch can be tough find out more about the crazy ending when you read it.
2. Grades 2-4
3. I would read this book for fun around Halloween.
4. All students should get a laugh out of this book maybe a student who doesn't like their teacher would enjoy it.
5. Small groups I would have them do a book share with the class and explain there favorite parts.
6. I would have the class write about who there favorite monster is and why.
7. Half a Chance has the same story line.
8. No Connections for this book

[Mary Summer · Rating 5 out of 5]

The only thing better than the title THE ONLY THING WORSE THAN WITCHES is the book itself. The creativity of middle-grade authors blows me away. This book is a sparkling example of the best middle-grade has to offer. Witchling Two and Rupert are adorable and feisty and, as you’d expect from such a creative book, incredibly creative themselves. The stakes are huge for poor Rupert and Witchling Two. Captivity, exile, and no more magic! Horrors! But worse by far is the ever-present threat of...bunnies. *gasp*

I loved both Rupert and Witchling Two, but even better is Mrs. Frabbleknacker, who is beyond evil. She knows just how to torture kids, and clearly revels in every sadistic minute of her torments. I laughed loud and often while reading this book. If this book had a perfect candy pairing, it would be salt-water taffy. Purple salt-water taffy. In lollipop form. :-)

[Rebecca · Rating 4 out of 5]

What a fun read, perfect for the month of Oct. :). Rupert helps Witchling Two prepare for her bar exam which if she passes allows her to be full blown Witch & pick her name. High jinx ensues, lollipops are consumed & family mysteries are solved. Great for anyone whose ever struggled with word pronunciation or finding true friendship..........they are related. Hahahahhaha........... Great read for any one 7-11 yrs. old or young of heart.

[Rebecca Petruck]

*shudder* I'm still in shock from discovering what is the only thing worse than witches. Spoiler: Don't be fooled by them!

The Only Thing Worse Than Witches, The Novel, is so fun and charming and over-the-top unique, and I absolutely adore W2! Or should I say "I snore bubbly dew." (That's an inside joke, meaning read the INSIDE of this book!)

[Stephanie · Rating 5 out of 5]

The story was captivating as one would not have guessed the secrets that would be uncovered at the end of the story.

I love the interaction between Witchling Two and Rupert. The twisted words and spells was only part of the fun in reading this book.

I've enjoyed reading this book and I know my students will enjoy it as well :)

[Ainsley Harkin · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is amazing and i couldnt put it down. Lauren is an amazing author and cant wait to meet her when she comes to our school. This book stole my heart and didnt let go until I was done. She has an magnifacent mind.

[Alexis Mathew · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was amazing. I absolutely could not put this book down! The book is so funny and quirky, and I love the sense of humor. All of Lauren Magaziner's books are amazing, and she is definitely a five-star author!

[Melissa Landers · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was an adorable story of friendship and bravery. (Also, I'll never look at bunnies the same way again!)

[Suzie Bookgirl · Rating 5 out of 5]

I thoroughly enjoyed this book. It was funny and had plenty of action to keep me entertained. I especially loved the bunnies! I will be giving this one to my 8 year old next.

[Eileen W · Rating 3 out of 5]

It was okay from my perspective, but my 8 year old boy, with whom I read it, really enjoyed it. We met the author at B&N and she wrote a very cute note to us in the cover of the book.

[Alyssa McGrady · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a really fun book to read and anyone who sees it should defiantly read it because it is one of the best books that I have read in a long time.

[Río · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5 Stars

This is a very silly book.

Rupert lives in a town that has some witches, though his mom tells him he must stay away from them. That was easy enough until Rupert gets into 5th grade and has the mean teacher, Mrs. Frabbleknacker, who bans the kids in the class from talking to each other (even outside of school!), leaving Rupert and his classmates friendless and a bit lonely. If only their parents would believe them when they shared the awful things Mrs. Frabbleknacker made them do! And so, when Rupert sees an ad to be a witch's apprentice, his curiosity gets the better of him and he goes for an interview. There he meets a young girl in need of help to practice for her upcoming test to become a full witch - is Rupert up to the task? He will have to hide his new friend from both his mom *and* the local witches, all while trying to avoid any magical mishaps. Is all this hassle worth the chance to have a friend?

Filled with silly confusions (the young witchling is clueless about much of human culture and customs and often jumbles her words), this book talks about how hard it can be to learn new things, the importance of believing people, and how having a good friend can make all the difference.

I would recommend this book to anyone who wants an easy, goofy little read about friendship with several sloppy splashes of magic.

[Lisa · Rating 5 out of 5]

What an absolutely fun and original story. Magaziner’s first book is written for kids, but I think it can also be enjoyable for adults because of its humor and imagination. This is what children’s literature should be: quirky, inventive, and smart.

It’s also pretty morbid in parts (but you’d never know from the cover art!). I found myself as unsettled by some of the characters’ tricks and punishments as I felt reading about Dolores Umbridge and Voldemort’s punishments in Harry Potter - and I read both as an adult. I don’t think this is a bad thing. Magaziner does some brilliant storytelling & kids should be allowed to tolerate more than sterile, sugarcoated stories — just be aware of the potential for discomfort beforehand!

In a way, stories with a layer of darkness have a way of conveying that “real life,” in its mundanity, is more manageable than we sometimes think. It’s also just really fun to read!

I hope Magaziner writes more children’s novels soon. She works in children’s publishing and she clearly belongs there.

[John · Rating 5 out of 5]

In my opinion about the book The Only Thing Worse Than Witches by Lauren Magaziner the book was really fantastic page turner that was filled with lot of action and plot twisters. Yes some of the parts of the book were easy to see but it is a great book for kids of all ages and would make a amazing movie. Some of my favorite parts of the book was when everyone turned into bunnies and Sandy was smart and compassionate to help protect Rupert from the bunny witches. Also when Rupert found out that his really mercenary fifth grade teacher was actually the Fairfoul witch. Finally my favorite part was when Sandy became a full witch and Rupert and Sandy could see each other without any punishments. Therefore, you can now see why the book The Only Thing Worse Than Witches by Lauren Magaziner would be a great movie and why I think it would be a great movie too. Based off of amazing scenes and amazing plot twists.

[Taru Sankar · Rating 5 out of 5]

The Only Thing Worst than Witches by Lauren Magaziner is the BEST BOOK EVER! Since I read the first page, I could not put it down. It is so funny too. I relate to it a lot. If you are having a bad day, just pick up this book and start reading it. I am positive that it will cheer you up.In my opinion, I like Witchling Two. She is not the most clever person, but she is hilarious. Lauren Magaziner is the most magnificent author ever. I want to read more of her books too. I rate her five stars because she is just plain awesome. I love this book, and I want to read more of her books.

[Maren Goldberg · Rating 5 out of 5]

It was a great book. parts I was scared and thrilled. But it was mostly happy and funny. I would read this book over and over again. In The Only Thing Worse Than WItches I was laughing and it made me smile. I felt like I in the book like I was there an it was sad at some parts. This book is definitely action-packed, on-the-edge-of-your-seat, entertaining book. I love The Only Thing Worse Than Witches.

[Isabella Potts · Rating 5 out of 5]

I think this was a very funny book. Why this book was funny was that the witching kept messing up the spells. She only kept messing up the spells because she was saying them wrong. But this book was very good and interesting u need to read this book. You should rate it to and write a review on how it was.

[Sofia :) · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a really fun book with a plot that will surprise you in the end! Through out the book the meaning of the title is revealed in a funny way, really, the WHOLE book is full of funny moments that will make you laugh out loud. The lovable characters and story will warm your heart. I love this book and recommend it from 3rd grade and up!

[Cheryl Gilmore · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was such a cute book! I loved the characters, and I laughed out loud quite a few times at their antics. I would have given this book five stars, but the ending was a bit melodramatic for me and I didn't enjoy it as much as the rest of the book. Still, I would definitely recommend it to any reader, middle grade or older, who enjoys fun, whimsical, and humorous, witchy books.

[ikallam · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is about a boy named Rupert who has thr most evil teacher, when one day there was an add in the newspaper to be a witchs aprenttice. From then on he had helped Witchling 2 with plenty of things. U should totes read this book :D i though some parts werw a bit ... Bland though. Otherwise read this :D rabbits..... Die

[Eshaan · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a laugh-out-loud book about Rupert, a fifth grader who becomes an ugly witches's apprentice only to find out that she is a witchling dressed like a witch. Now Herbert must help her become a real witch by helping her pass the Bar Exam.

[han y. · Rating 5 out of 5]

I remember when I was in about fourth or third grade, I was so obsessed with this book! I would re-read it so many times, I basically had the book memorized. Amazing read!

[Sean Collins · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved the witches!!

[Lillian Bar · Rating 5 out of 5]

The author, Lauren Magaziner, detailed every small detail which kept me turning the pages.

[Sophia Jordan · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really loved this book because I loved the characters. My favorite character was Witchling Two because she is sooooooooo funny!

[Dea · Rating 5 out of 5]

Really cute book. My 6yo enjoyed it a lot.