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3 Steps to a Strong Family
In this book, best-selling authors Linda & Richard Eyre offer a simple 3-step program that can make your family life happier, less stressful, & more rewarding; develop a set of fair effective family laws that help teach & motivate rather than punish; make your children an integral part of your family economy — as a way to motivate them & help them learn responsibility for their actions & possessions; & create family traditions — celebrations, activities, & events that reinforce your familys goals & values & build long-term unity & loyalty.
Full of commonsense ideas & practical advice, this book gives you the tools you need to build the family life you want.
Full of commonsense ideas & practical advice, this book gives you the tools you need to build the family life you want.
3 pages, Audio Cassette
First published December 1, 1994
8 people are currently reading
240 people want to read
About the author
Linda Eyre
66 books39 followersAs writers, lecturers, and grassroots and media catalysts, Linda and Richard Eyre's mission statement is: FORTIFY FAMILIES by Popularizing Parenting, Validating Values, and Bolstering Balance. Their latest efforts in these directions are their new books, The Happy Family (St. Martins Press,), Empty Nest Parenting (Bookcraft,) and The Book of Nurturing (McGraw Hill,), and their regular appearances on The CBS Early Show.
Linda is a teacher and musician who was named by The National Council of Women as one of America's Six Outstanding Young Women. Largely because of her, the Eyre family was named the Western U. S. "Musical Family of the Year."
Richard and Linda have nine children (one of every kind) and live in Washington, D.C. and Salt Lake City.
Linda is a teacher and musician who was named by The National Council of Women as one of America's Six Outstanding Young Women. Largely because of her, the Eyre family was named the Western U. S. "Musical Family of the Year."
Richard and Linda have nine children (one of every kind) and live in Washington, D.C. and Salt Lake City.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 34 reviews
February 13, 2025
Good book but you need to read it when your kids are much younger than mine. They should be toddlers. AND you and your spouse have to both want to the things in the book. While I like a lot of the stuff mentioned, there is no way my husband would be on board. So I stopped reading the book
March 2, 2008
I borrowed this book from the library and loved it so much I bought it on amazon.com.
This book is perfect for the stage my family is in although reading it earlier would have been helpful. It takes time to implement this system they recommend.
I loved their ideas:
"And all families, they advise us, need three elements: a legal system for settling disputes and setting rules, an economy to teach financial responsibility and an identity for building strong values and traditions. Unlike many other parenting books, this one encourages parents to respect children without coddling them. Practical and clear-cut methods put much responsibility on the children, while fostering their sense of security, enabling them to become successful and independent adults."
-Copyright 1994 Reed Business Information, Inc.
I gave 4 stars because I would have liked a quicklist or summary of their system.
This book is perfect for the stage my family is in although reading it earlier would have been helpful. It takes time to implement this system they recommend.
I loved their ideas:
"And all families, they advise us, need three elements: a legal system for settling disputes and setting rules, an economy to teach financial responsibility and an identity for building strong values and traditions. Unlike many other parenting books, this one encourages parents to respect children without coddling them. Practical and clear-cut methods put much responsibility on the children, while fostering their sense of security, enabling them to become successful and independent adults."
-Copyright 1994 Reed Business Information, Inc.
I gave 4 stars because I would have liked a quicklist or summary of their system.
March 12, 2013
Best and most practical parenting book I've read. We are already quite a but of these things in our family but it explained and expanded things so clearly.
I specifically bought it for guidance on setting up a Family Economy. Such a great idea. We are opting not to go with the peg idea, but will be using a weekly checklist on clipboards instead. Still we will be following the same 4 peg concept just tailored to our family. Love it!
I specifically bought it for guidance on setting up a Family Economy. Such a great idea. We are opting not to go with the peg idea, but will be using a weekly checklist on clipboards instead. Still we will be following the same 4 peg concept just tailored to our family. Love it!
June 15, 2013
I really, really loved this book. It has some wonderful ideas for promoting a tight-knit family - and the 3 point system makes it very achievable and simple to implement. Many of these things we've implemented on our own - but I liked the way that this family linked the 3 components together...
I took plenty of notes for things that I want discuss with my hubby and rejig a little bit...
I think I want to purchase a copy for myself...
I took plenty of notes for things that I want discuss with my hubby and rejig a little bit...
I think I want to purchase a copy for myself...
August 7, 2011
There were several good tips in this book that I would like to implement in my family. I found the first section to be the most useful.
September 25, 2015
Great ideas. This woman and her spouse have written some excellent parenting books.
July 30, 2017
I have referred to this book repeatedly since I first read it in 1996! I love the Family Laws,Family Economy, and Family Traditions that are the 3 steps. Excellent parenting and family book!
April 24, 2022
Three Steps to a Strong Family was less off-putting than I thought it might be. In it, the authors detail a set of practices that they feel make for strong families. These seem to have worked well for them, and they have developed a network of people around the world who also follow these practices and seem to find them helpful.
The short version of their three steps is:
1. A legal system: fair, consistent discipline based on rules and limits
2. An economy: a way for children to earn, save, and spend money
3. Traditions: family activities that build communication, trust, and togetherness
The rest of the book is expanding on these three steps. They include some reminiscences on how well this worked (and occasionally didn’t) for them as they were developing this method. Mostly these are the parents’ reminiscences, but there are several contributions from their children, especially the older children, as well. There are even one or two comments from some of the people around the world who have been using their system.
In some ways, I wish I had read this book when my daughter was younger when it might have done me some good. This is my usual response to self-help books on child-rearing. However, as I read further, it occurred to me that this is another case of what might be a good idea for somebody else but wouldn’t help me much.
For one thing, much of the system, especially the legal system, depends on your family being willing to have family meetings to work out the details of what sorts of behavior will be rewarded and punished, as well as how. No family of which I have been a part has done more than scoff at the notion of regular family meetings.
Also, the Eyres had nine children, and as such much of their legal system, in particular, was geared toward minimizing conflict between the various siblings – which it seems to have done admirably for them. However, for a family with a single child, some of the rules, many of the punishments, and also many of the rewards would have been meaningless or ineffective. Likewise, their system of chores and the rather complex system of payments that went with it would have made much less sense with only one child to do whatever work was assigned.
Finally, the system appears to be rather labor-intensive for the parents. Not so much in terms of doing housework, or even the inevitable maintenance of young children, but in supervising the punishment system and seeing that the various chores were adequately performed.
The short version of their three steps is:
1. A legal system: fair, consistent discipline based on rules and limits
2. An economy: a way for children to earn, save, and spend money
3. Traditions: family activities that build communication, trust, and togetherness
The rest of the book is expanding on these three steps. They include some reminiscences on how well this worked (and occasionally didn’t) for them as they were developing this method. Mostly these are the parents’ reminiscences, but there are several contributions from their children, especially the older children, as well. There are even one or two comments from some of the people around the world who have been using their system.
In some ways, I wish I had read this book when my daughter was younger when it might have done me some good. This is my usual response to self-help books on child-rearing. However, as I read further, it occurred to me that this is another case of what might be a good idea for somebody else but wouldn’t help me much.
For one thing, much of the system, especially the legal system, depends on your family being willing to have family meetings to work out the details of what sorts of behavior will be rewarded and punished, as well as how. No family of which I have been a part has done more than scoff at the notion of regular family meetings.
Also, the Eyres had nine children, and as such much of their legal system, in particular, was geared toward minimizing conflict between the various siblings – which it seems to have done admirably for them. However, for a family with a single child, some of the rules, many of the punishments, and also many of the rewards would have been meaningless or ineffective. Likewise, their system of chores and the rather complex system of payments that went with it would have made much less sense with only one child to do whatever work was assigned.
Finally, the system appears to be rather labor-intensive for the parents. Not so much in terms of doing housework, or even the inevitable maintenance of young children, but in supervising the punishment system and seeing that the various chores were adequately performed.
February 2, 2022
I love the simplicity if this book. Great ideas for helping to build a strong family, exactly what I want for my family. The overall feel of this book really resonated with me, my goals and visions of what I want lined up quite well with everything presented. That said I doubt I will implement everything exactly as suggested, but we have a starting point to help us come up with our own systems. Definitely one I will refer back to again and again as we struggle with certain things, glad I own it and marked it up so I can find the things that stuck out to me easily.
August 14, 2017
While this book is a bit dated, I loved some of the suggestions in it. I am excited to implement dinner time speeches and games to help my children not be so nervous in front of a crowd.
March 8, 2020
It was... okay. Took some good pointers away. Might revisit when kids are older.
July 30, 2023
Loved. It’s full of encouragement, practical ideas, and logical adaptable processes. The kids loved listening with me and it segwayed into some good family discussions. Often think about their ideas.
January 30, 2016
I borrowed this book from the library and then reborrowed it to finish it. My daughter thought we actually owned the book since she had seen it around so much. But it was a book I had to really think about. I had to think about what changes we might make in our family. I was especially intrigued with the family economy since I've been wanting to change how we do finances with our children. It was a great little book full of ideas that you really have to pick through and decide what works best for your family.
If there is one thing I've learned from the reading the Eyre's books, it's that they are list makers. They love to write everything down. But I've also learned if you don't write down your ideas and thoughts, they are soon forgotten. Or your children forget what you are trying to do and then the system doesn't work quite like it should.
If there is one thing I've learned from the reading the Eyre's books, it's that they are list makers. They love to write everything down. But I've also learned if you don't write down your ideas and thoughts, they are soon forgotten. Or your children forget what you are trying to do and then the system doesn't work quite like it should.
Want to read
May 18, 2009I wanted to read this because the first step is on family government, something I know we struggle with and need to be better at. I'm very happy with what I've read so far. In the intro they mention wanting to use concrete examples because they can either be tossed aside, used, or used to come up with better ideas. That's what has impressed me most, giving a solid foundation to work from, and something I feel has been missing from other places I've learned about family government.
Happy to be one of their "fellow strugglers."
Happy to be one of their "fellow strugglers."
January 19, 2013
Great ideas with simple implementation. I can't wait to start more family traditions. As a parent I go back and forth on paying my kids allowance but this book has convinced me that allowance is a great way to motive kids to complete household chores. I love giving the kids responsibility to pay for their own clothes and entertainment. I might even have my twins pay their soccer fees with their allowance. I can't think of better motivation to keep the house clean and to complete homework.
June 5, 2008
I really like this author. And I like this book. Very simple yet important insight on how to strengthen your family. This really helped me establish a vision and 'game plan' for our family.
It's not so much a parenting book as a build a stronger family thus eliminate lots of negative things book. That works for me.
It's not so much a parenting book as a build a stronger family thus eliminate lots of negative things book. That works for me.
March 25, 2011
Love (LOVE!) Linda and Richard Eyre. This book gets down into the nity-grity details of some of the systems and traditions they have in their family. Three main parts of the book: Traditions, Money (allowance), and Rules. They give tons of details so you can replicate in your own family. The Eyres are inspiring and experienced. LOVE reading about their family and getting ideas for my own!
December 12, 2013
A lot of really good tips. (A lot of the same stories from their other books too). You'll have to find a way to work their suggestions into your own family, but the basic concepts give me direction as a parent. When I remember our family laws..I never yell. When I start traditions, we have fun and our kids have a sense of "home." Read it while your kids are young if you can.
January 15, 2010
I am not sure that I will institute the things in this book, but it was nice to hear different parents and childrens perspectives. I liked alot of the things that they instituted and may try versions of them at home.
March 21, 2011
I liked this book a lot. It had great, actual ideas that I can implement into my family and it was good to see "the whole picture" of why we WANT strong families. This book was published in 1994 and their kids all turned out pretty well, so I'm *pretty sure* it's worth using their ideas.
January 8, 2013
I've read quite a few parenting books for our foster care license and this had the best information yet! Can't wait to implement these steps in our family. Love the peg idea and family economic system!
August 26, 2013
Nothing earth-shattering but some good, down-to-earth advice about setting up rules/expectations, responsibilities and traditions to make a family grow closer. I loved how raising children was compared to painting a quality piece of art - both require hundreds and hundreds of hours of love!
April 4, 2016
I read this book to learn about their allowance system after reading a blog post one of their children wrote (as an adult now trying to figure out allowance for her own kids). I guess you could say I liked it because we are implementing their system now.
March 28, 2008
I was glad the book seemed to move along quickly. My favorite part was hearing that 4 of their 9 kids were still learning to flush the toilet. It's great to learn from normal families.
March 7, 2009
I really should say all the Eyre books are GREAT, but I really have just skimmed them. They have some great ideas and thoughts on raising older children.
January 13, 2010
I loved this one. I thought it had a lot of very down to earth ideas. My book has so many highlighted pages for future reference.
May 27, 2010
Must read!!! Fantastic ideas for creating a unified and capable family.
September 30, 2010
Great ideas for raising a family
October 21, 2010
One of the best parenting/family books I've read in a long time. Everyone should try and read this book. It put balance into all the other books I've read. Terrific!
Displaying 1 - 30 of 34 reviews