What do you think?
Rate this book
Building a Godly Home #2
A Holy Vision for a Happy Marriage
In the second volume, A Holy Vision for a Happy Marriage, we find detailed counsel about the most important relationship in the family husband and wife. Gouge carefully addresses what a fit marriage is and the proper way to enter into one. He then discusses the mutual duties married couples share in order for marriage to survive and thrive, as well as the duties specific to men and women respectively. Not only does he give detailed treatment of how these responsibilities are best expressed and too often hindered, but he also provides ample biblical motivation to set us on the right course. Christian husbands and wives will find much encouragement in this book.
288 pages, Hardcover
First published October 22, 2013
26 people are currently reading
292 people want to read
About the author
William Gouge
72 books5 followersWilliam Gouge (1575-1653) was born in Stratford-Bow Middlesex County, England. Educated in Paul's School, London, Felstad in Essex, and at Eton School. He graduated from King's College, Cambridge, followed by a brilliant teaching career there. Following his ordination at 32 years of age, he ministered at Blackfriars Church, London for 45 years. In addition to his great success as a pastor, his mid-week expository lectures at Blackfriars drew increasingly larger crowds. Spirituality and scholarship made his career at Cambridge, his pastoral work and his writings unique. He was renowned as "the father of the London Divines and the oracle of his time." In 1643 he was made a member of the Westminster Assembly of Divines by vote of Parliament. His primary works include his Commentary on Hebrews, The Whole Armour of God, and Of Domestical Duties.
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 13 of 13 reviews
August 5, 2025
This is a high 3 maybe something like a 3.8. Gouge is very thorough and biblically rich. There is almost no reference to non-biblical material, almost every positive example given is a biblical character and narrative. This in contrast to modern authors (Paul David Tripp comes to mind) who use dozens of stories of people they've counseled, these sometimes seem contrived or overly repetitive. For this and many other things he can be heartily commended.
The greatest parts of this work is the instructions in roles and duties. He talks about principles and then fleshes them out into many practical areas for his day and time. Not all of these scenarios are helpful applicable to us today but I think that Pastors and counselors would be helped by the categories and form of instruction that Gouge uses, while adapting it to instruct modern congregants. The Ogden crew and their podcasts often cite this work in their teaching on marriage, they are generally a good example of what I'm saying here. I've learned a lot from their distilling of the roles and duties and how they apply today. But in the reading of this work for myself with my wife there were times of excessive wordiness and belaboring of simple concepts. We read this as part of our evening devotions and it didn't always serve the intended desire in that realm but I believe would serve well in preparing to teach on marriage.
I would commend this work for the study of marriage and the understanding of biblical roles and duties particularly for teachers of the word or parents as they seek to instruct their children. It doesn't serve well as devotional reading and perhaps isn't best suited to stir up thoughtful conversation between a husband and wife.
The greatest parts of this work is the instructions in roles and duties. He talks about principles and then fleshes them out into many practical areas for his day and time. Not all of these scenarios are helpful applicable to us today but I think that Pastors and counselors would be helped by the categories and form of instruction that Gouge uses, while adapting it to instruct modern congregants. The Ogden crew and their podcasts often cite this work in their teaching on marriage, they are generally a good example of what I'm saying here. I've learned a lot from their distilling of the roles and duties and how they apply today. But in the reading of this work for myself with my wife there were times of excessive wordiness and belaboring of simple concepts. We read this as part of our evening devotions and it didn't always serve the intended desire in that realm but I believe would serve well in preparing to teach on marriage.
I would commend this work for the study of marriage and the understanding of biblical roles and duties particularly for teachers of the word or parents as they seek to instruct their children. It doesn't serve well as devotional reading and perhaps isn't best suited to stir up thoughtful conversation between a husband and wife.
January 7, 2025
I laughed, I cried, and I cried some more because, phew, having a Puritan exposit and apply so many beautiful truths out of a SINGULAR verse is incredibly convicting. I’m headed to the seaside for my health for a time.
February 15, 2024
Update: I finished reading this once again. I seemed to have gotten more out of it each time I read it. I can't recommend this book enough.
----
Excellent, practical helps on marriage. I co-taught a marriage Sunday School class with this book. I finished reading the last chapter tonight, though we will discuss it in class one week from today. In the coming week I will produce discussion questions. There are some tall orders in the last chapter for a husband in loving his wife as Christ loves the church. That has been a consistent theme throughout this book, as well it should be. I know, and realize to a greater extent because of this book, that I can certainly improve in the love I have for my wife. I believe the same can be said for any Christian man, when he compares himself not to other men or other marriages, but rather to the love that Christ has for His church. That love is beyond compare, and I will never attain unto it, but it is certainly a lofty goal and a measuring rod that I can use to see how do I truly love my wife.
----
Excellent, practical helps on marriage. I co-taught a marriage Sunday School class with this book. I finished reading the last chapter tonight, though we will discuss it in class one week from today. In the coming week I will produce discussion questions. There are some tall orders in the last chapter for a husband in loving his wife as Christ loves the church. That has been a consistent theme throughout this book, as well it should be. I know, and realize to a greater extent because of this book, that I can certainly improve in the love I have for my wife. I believe the same can be said for any Christian man, when he compares himself not to other men or other marriages, but rather to the love that Christ has for His church. That love is beyond compare, and I will never attain unto it, but it is certainly a lofty goal and a measuring rod that I can use to see how do I truly love my wife.
July 15, 2019
Like many Puritans works, this book is methodical, biblical, and practical.
March 18, 2024
This is such a great book for pre-material counseling and for married couples. Gouge goes through the role of a husband and a wife with great thoroughness and touches on every possible scenario in marriage. I loved how every topic and answer of Gouge’s points back to the relationship of Christ and His Church.
December 8, 2019
If i were to recommend a single book on marriage it would most definitely be this one.
June 4, 2020
One of the most insightful books on the marriage relationship that I have read. Both convicting and encouraging.
February 1, 2023
A really good book explaining what a Christian family looks like, in easy-to-read language.
August 4, 2025
3.5 stars.
The first handful of chapters on the topic of marriage and family were really good and helpful. Gouge was bold and firm on what marriage is and the duties of husband and wife. I was most helped by his discussion of the duties that both the husband and the wife owe one another and to their children. He would ruffle some feathers if he was publishing his book today.
The lower rating is for the repetitiveness of the book and thus its lack of helpfulness as we got further into later chapters that were directed at solely the wife or solely the husband. Nothing that I disagree with…just not quite as relevant to the difficulties or challenges of a Christian marriage that have witnessed other Christian marriages and grown up in a Christian family.
However, I could see this being more useful for a first generation Christian marriage.
The first handful of chapters on the topic of marriage and family were really good and helpful. Gouge was bold and firm on what marriage is and the duties of husband and wife. I was most helped by his discussion of the duties that both the husband and the wife owe one another and to their children. He would ruffle some feathers if he was publishing his book today.
The lower rating is for the repetitiveness of the book and thus its lack of helpfulness as we got further into later chapters that were directed at solely the wife or solely the husband. Nothing that I disagree with…just not quite as relevant to the difficulties or challenges of a Christian marriage that have witnessed other Christian marriages and grown up in a Christian family.
However, I could see this being more useful for a first generation Christian marriage.
July 7, 2020
Really practical. Addressing things like : the way a husband should show his love to his wife by his facial expressions. How spouses should keep the others’ reputation. How husbands should love their love even after their deaths, making sure their wifes lack nothing.
September 14, 2020
Some very wise and helpful points but it’s a pretty old book so there’s a lot to skim, e.g. I’m not currently struggling to figure out how my wife should interact with my servants.
May 21, 2014
http://wp.me/p2VzBP-r7
“Husbands, love your wives…” (Eph 5:25 NASB)
This is a command from Holy Scripture. The beautiful thing is that Scripture not only describes duty, it also give us illustration. The duty of loving your wife is such a high command, but the illustration of how to do it seems impossible. “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her…”
The illustration of how to do this is as much a part of the command to do it.
How does a fallen soul rise to the call of duty to love like this? He must look to his Redeemer. Look further in the text. In verse 28 there is another interesting command “husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies.” This is the second great commandment “love your neighbor as yourself.”
This is possible only with help. We are by (fallen) nature, selfish and interested only in ourselves. To love another as you do yourself is nearly impossible because of our selfish (fallen) nature. To love your wife as your own body should, at the least, be slightly easier. But if we don’t understand the supernatural act of becoming one flesh in marriage, husbands won’t understand our duty to love like Christ loved as the most romantic thing we can do for our wives.
But remember, romance is not our aim.
Rejoice in every heart warming moment you have with your wife, but know that loving your wife displays the glory of God to your wife, your children, your neighbor, your church family, the nations. It is essentially a gospel work. Not to be confused with speaking the gospel, preaching repentance, or missionary advancement of the gospel banner to nations and language groups. Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her.
In his book, Domesticall Duties, William Gouge (1578-1653) provides the best marriage handbook I’ve ever read.
“Husbands, love your wives…” (Eph 5:25 NASB)
This is a command from Holy Scripture. The beautiful thing is that Scripture not only describes duty, it also give us illustration. The duty of loving your wife is such a high command, but the illustration of how to do it seems impossible. “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her…”
The illustration of how to do this is as much a part of the command to do it.
How does a fallen soul rise to the call of duty to love like this? He must look to his Redeemer. Look further in the text. In verse 28 there is another interesting command “husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies.” This is the second great commandment “love your neighbor as yourself.”
This is possible only with help. We are by (fallen) nature, selfish and interested only in ourselves. To love another as you do yourself is nearly impossible because of our selfish (fallen) nature. To love your wife as your own body should, at the least, be slightly easier. But if we don’t understand the supernatural act of becoming one flesh in marriage, husbands won’t understand our duty to love like Christ loved as the most romantic thing we can do for our wives.
But remember, romance is not our aim.
Rejoice in every heart warming moment you have with your wife, but know that loving your wife displays the glory of God to your wife, your children, your neighbor, your church family, the nations. It is essentially a gospel work. Not to be confused with speaking the gospel, preaching repentance, or missionary advancement of the gospel banner to nations and language groups. Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her.
In his book, Domesticall Duties, William Gouge (1578-1653) provides the best marriage handbook I’ve ever read.
August 5, 2014
Volume one of this edited and slightly modernized version of William Gouge's Domestical Duties is an excellent exposition of Ephesians 5:22-6:9. This volume provides practical application of the husband and wife's mutual duties to each other, the wife's duties toward her husband, and a husband's duties toward his wife. According to the editors this book was the most influential Puritan book on marriage and family. It is easy to see why. It is full of careful, biblical guidance. Hermeneutically, Gouge is sometimes over-reliant on biblical examples that should not be taken as normative. Overall, however, his counsel is biblically grounded.
As expected, Gouge presents the biblical teaching of a husband's leadership in the home and the wife's submission to her husband. Gouge also sees the wife as holding an exalted position in the home, and his counsel repeatedly calls on the husband to lovingly treat her in way that honors her station. Egalitarian caricatures of what life in a biblically ordered home fall flat here as would any attempts to misuse the biblical teaching about the husband's authority in order to demean the wife.
The overall effect of this volume is to challenge husbands and wives in their daily life to reflect Christ and the church. Gouge writes in a way that is direct and challenging while also being inspiring. These volumes by Gouge may still be the best books on marriage and the family on the market. They certainly are worthy of being as widely read today as they were in Puritan times.
As expected, Gouge presents the biblical teaching of a husband's leadership in the home and the wife's submission to her husband. Gouge also sees the wife as holding an exalted position in the home, and his counsel repeatedly calls on the husband to lovingly treat her in way that honors her station. Egalitarian caricatures of what life in a biblically ordered home fall flat here as would any attempts to misuse the biblical teaching about the husband's authority in order to demean the wife.
The overall effect of this volume is to challenge husbands and wives in their daily life to reflect Christ and the church. Gouge writes in a way that is direct and challenging while also being inspiring. These volumes by Gouge may still be the best books on marriage and the family on the market. They certainly are worthy of being as widely read today as they were in Puritan times.
Displaying 1 - 13 of 13 reviews