poems of the neurodivergent experience

by Jaclyn Pensiero

Jaclyn Pensiero is an autistic adult who received a late diagnosis at the age of 24. Despite always feeling different, she struggled to understand the reasons behind it for many years. However, in the past year, her deep dive into learning about autism spectrum disorder has provided her with the tools to articulate her complex emotions. Through her poetry, she found solace during difficult times and finally managed to express the confusion that has persisted throughout her life. By sharing her collection of poems, she aims to create a sense of belonging for others, making them feel less alone, and encouraging them to process their own emotions. Explore a poignant collection of poems that vividly portrays the author's journey as an autistic individual, delving into the depths of emotions with authenticity and resonance.

Genres: Poetry, Autistic Spectrum Disorder, Mental Health, Self Help, Nonfiction, Memoir

138 pages, Paperback

Published July 5, 2023

Reviews

[Kylie · Rating 5 out of 5]

The most relatable book I’ve ever read. Read in one sitting. Have highlighted the most relevant and know I will be coming back to this many times over. Thank you.

[Hannah Wegmiller · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was just beautiful. I feel so seen as someone who deeply struggles with ADHD 🤍

[Jenna Elizabeth ×͜× · Rating 4 out of 5]

I think it is so important to talk about the neurodivergent experience from personal experience. I really love the ways in which the poet expresses how different struggles make her feel and at the same time, finding a way to motivate and hype up others (the readers) who may also feel this way. I can genuinely relate to many poems and phrases throughout this book and find that many of them I also experience as a neurodivergent adult.

[Mady Ellinger · Rating 5 out of 5]

i’ve read this twice and each time I feel more seen and understood. I have never been acknowledged as someone on the spectrum so talking through the feelings with someone who isn’t has always been hard. I’ve always felt different so reading something that makes me feel less different has been such a blessing.

[Jac Elliott · Rating 5 out of 5]

this is so so beautiful! i've felt very much seen & understood. such an amazing feeling to be able to relate to everything in this book!

[ella · Rating 4 out of 5]

as someone who autistic this book is something I highly relate to. I am also neurodivergent in 5 other ways. so many sentences in this that just hit me. I did tab several poems but have no desire to type them out. living with all this feeling and all these thoughts but it's always inside of me is so so difficult and mentally exhausting. I also follow her on Instagram and relate heavily to things she's posted.

[Skylar · Rating 5 out of 5]

5/5. Read this in one sitting. I want to recommend this to everyone. Purely amazing, and very relatable. I simply don't have any words for it.

[Javier Duran · Rating 5 out of 5]

Most beautiful and relatable piece of literature I’ve read regarding this topic, read all of it in one sitting and can’t say I didn’t cry.

[Brittany Benko · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wonderful poems explain the real feelings of a person who is on the spectrum.

[Elyse · Rating 4 out of 5]

”you are not alone i promise you
there are others who feel just as skewed”

The best part about this is it feels untouched. It’s not a collection of fancy, masterful poems. In some places, not even corrected. It’s raw thoughts and feelings. It’s words that connect us to one another. For those that share similar experiences, will definitely relate. And leave you feeling a little less alone in the world.

[Matt Lombardo · Rating 5 out of 5]

Beautiful book. So very relatable no matter where you are in life. Also beautiful art and feel of the physical book!

[Alex Van Vechten · Rating 5 out of 5]

I feel like this describes exactly what goes on in my head and I think it can be a great resource to describe to my friends/family what is going on in my head to help them understand me better

[Stefano Minichilli · Rating 5 out of 5]

Di solito non faccio recensioni ma veramente questo libro letto in un giorno di mare è un viaggio, scandidato dalla bellezza delle immagini e dalla musicalità della poesia, attraverso quella che è l'esperienza di persona autistica in cui ti immergi e non vuoi uscire.
Sicuramente lo rileggerò più volte. Consigliatissimo.

[Ano · Rating 5 out of 5]

This.

[Lydia · Rating 5 out of 5]

Minus 4 or 5 poems, I could have written this myself. A book of poems written by an autistic 24-turning-25 woman on living that experience. Wow my chest hurts.

[Katrina · Rating 5 out of 5]

beautiful poems about neurospiciness and autism. the world is confusing and people expect too much of each other. I just want to be alone in a quiet space. these poems made me seen

[Danielle · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow!

I'm a diagnosed at age 37 neurodivergent woman

I took pictures of so many poems because my head screamed "yes! That's me! She gets it!"

The validation I didn't realize I needed

I highly recommend and bought a copy of the book immediately

[Minna · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved it

[Luke Gorham · Rating 1 out of 5]

Without even digging into the world-destroying power of our present attention culture and all the bullshit "art," regressive shifts in cultural discourse, and self-serving but empty identity politics it has wrought, I'm just going to note that platitudinous diary entries are not poetry. At the risk of going full get-off-my-lawn mode, it's an absolute tragedy that Zoomer culture has so dismantled a once potent artform, all to the ironic ends only of lining monopolistic publishing house pockets. Sure, the house that Kaur and TikTok built may have saved bookstores, but at what cost?

most of my best thoughts / were thought of in the shower / but by the time i got out / the words were in a drought.

when i am feeling sad or anxious / and would rather be curled up in a ball / i pick one of my soft sweaters / that makes me feel so small.

If you're not quite sold on this^, don't worry: there's a doodle of a sweater to really sell the imagery.

Okay, I've changed my mind: get the fuck off my lawn. Poetry has become a mere vibes extension of social media, like pictures of trees or an explication of one's new guacamole recipe or hawking new insulated mugs for ad revenue. Pray for the literature professors who are suddenly getting saddled with #sad bois and girls who lack the self-awareness to understand talentless angst is a right of passage rather than a singularity. Art is dying, and it's all thanks to the social media gospel that says all it takes to be an artist is the desire to be noticed. Get a therapist or actually devote an ounce of energy to developing a craft. Peddling the fact of your existence via Amazon's self-publishing apparatus is très passe.

[Quincy Warkentin · Rating 1 out of 5]

This really didn’t feel like a poetry book to me, more like their own straightforward expression of their neurodivergent experience. With all the complexities of neurodivergence, I obviously can’t say the author is wrong in how they chose to depict this, but it fell very flat to me.
I think it’s a great idea and was hopeful for this read - but wasn’t for me. I applaud the author anyway for expressing themselves.

[Isabel · Rating 2 out of 5]

Being autistic myself, I couldn't really connect to most of the 'poems'. Also, they didn't really feel like poems most of the time.

[Sarah · Rating 5 out of 5]

I related to every single page as a late dx audhder

[roxi reads ִ ࣪ ✩ · Rating 3 out of 5]

𝟑,𝟑/𝟓 ✰

‘They say you must seek discomfort, you must be uncomfortable to grow. But was if discomfort is all you know? And all you desire is to feel comfort. I have no burning desire to acquire a fancy career that comes with wealth, not when I barely have my health. How can one focus on growth, when survival is the only hope.’

‘I wish autumn lasted the entire year, when the end of summer is near. When it’s not yet too cold to freeze, free from the extreem degrees. Not too cold and not too hot, wanting to be outside a lot. Light breeze with the sun in my face, such a great feeling to embrace.’

‘Please do yourself a favor, let it go it will be a life saver. Get rid of the guilt, that self hatred that you have built. You are trying your very best, it’s not your fault you are so stressed. Be kind to yourself you do deserve, it’s not selfish to put yourself first.’

Dit persoonlijke gedichtenbundel gaat over neurodivergentie (hsp, adhd, ass enz.) en de struggles die hier bij kunnen komen kijken. Elk gedicht gaat weer over een ander onderdeel binnen neurodiversiteit en werd ondersteund door mooie illustraties. Wat ik jammer vond was dat de auteur in elk gedicht ‘rijmt’, waardoor het woordgebruik soms geforceerd en amateuristisch voelt.

[mari · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read this in one sitting.
I can't quite remember where I came across this book, it was probably tiktok, and after reading a snippet, I knew I should get it. There are a lot of things that I think of on the daily, I question my reality sometimes. It's hard to communicate and comprehend everything when it's hard to even know who your genuine self is without being held to any standards. Who am I at the core?
For the first time, this book helped me feel seen and understood. Someone out there is going through personal struggles similar to me, and at the end, I felt comforted.
I know it's important to surround yourself with a safe inner circle, people who you can trust, but when you can't even understand your own brain, how are you to explain to others what you are feeling? "I'm sorry this probably makes no sense."
As someone who sometimes needs to feel tightly hugged to feel grounded and relaxed, this book was just that.  

[Andie-Cai Paul · Rating 5 out of 5]

Being 23 and receiving a late diagnosis in December 2022 my first year with closure has been a roller coaster. Since reading this book it has really helped me to understand what I am going through as well as make me feel less alone and relate to things I haven't given a thought about.

I think this book can be an eye opener to people who may know friends and/or family with ASD as well as individuals diagnosed with ASD giving people bite size information which i find amazing due to my lack of focus. I also find it easier to use this book to aid me in explaining to family/friends my feelings and needs which has helped them to understand me.

Overall this is a beautiful personal book to anyone that feels alone with ASD that I loved entirely!

[Hannah Bussmann · Rating 4 out of 5]

Pensieros Gedichte sind aufgrund der alltäglichen und teilweise bildlichen Sprache für alle gut zugänglich und verständlich. Die Gedichte behandeln unter anderem die Erschöpfung, die das Leben in einer neurotypischen Gesellschaft mit sich bringt, die Einsamkeit, wenn man sich unverstanden fühlt, aber auch die notwendige Selbstfürsorge in schwierigen Situationen und die Erleichterung, die eine formelle Diagnose mit sich bringen kann. Mir haben sie geholfen, manche Ideen und Gedanken besser nachvollziehen zu können und hoffentlich in Zukunft feinfühliger im Umgang mit anderen zu sein.

[C.R. Eede · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was alerted to this book over my endless scrolling on Tiktok (we've all done it), and was pleased to have found it. The book itself is easy to read. I completed it in a day. Each excerpt was quite relatable and accurate to the thoughts, inner perceptions, outlook, and behaviours that those with autism have.

I'd give it a read. It was a poetic reminder of how being different to neurotypicals can be difficult, but can also be a blessing. Balance is everything, essentially.

[LaydeeOnyx · Rating 4 out of 5]

It honestly took me awhile to finish this one. I bought it last year and remember taking it with me everywhere I went to get a few minuets of reading a day. However, for some reason I never got around to finishing it. I came back to it this year to add to my 2024 reading challenge (that I have been failing btw 😭). Since the year is almost over, I thought this would be a great book to finally finish and add to my list. I love poems, I have always found them introspective and even relatable. I picked this one up because I felt the message is extremely important. I am happy to see more women speak about their experiences regarding neurodiversity and autism. I for one am still not sure where I am and I won’t self diagnose but something about Jaclyn’s story, what she’s had to overcome. Even her speaking of her fear of phone calls (this especially relatable to me!) I totally get it. I think mentally, I am in a better place now than I was when I purchased this book but it is still a perfect reminder that we all have something we are constantly trying to overcome.

[Joanna · Rating 4 out of 5]

As someone with autism, I often find it difficult to express my inner world or translate my experiences into words. This book of poetry offered a kind of comfort I don’t often find. It’s rare to see my own experiences reflected so clearly, and I know I’ll come back to these poems many times, taking solace in the sense of connection they create. I’m truly thankful to the author for putting her emotions and experiences into writing.

[Patrik Andersen · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is a masterwork, the author expresses herself in such a good way and really blends the poetry with neurodivergence. It’s rare for me to leave reviews, but this poetry made it so i had to.

I highly reccomend this to all people who likes poetry and also want to deep dive into neurodivergence to maybe understand some things about themselves.