Don't Fight With the Garden Hose and Other Lessons I've Learned Along the Way

by Tom Harvey

With his debut memoir, "The Eighties: A Bitchen Time To Be a Teenager!" enjoying success, Tom now turns his attention on lessons he's learned during his 45 crazy years as a member of the human race. 24 chapters of poignancy, humor, and poignant humor. Chapters include, "That the Paul David Hewson urinal?" - "Brushes with the spirit world aka WTF was that?" - "Don't mess with a mother's love, or Don't be a d*ck to your little sister!" You're sure to have a favorite! Prepare to laugh and cry . . . sometimes at the same time!

Genres: Humor

211 pages, Kindle Edition

First published August 1, 2013

About the author

Tom Harvey is a product of the Eighties, having spent his "growing up" years within the decade. He lives with his wife, Susan, and their Shiba Inu in Bellevue, Washington. "The Eighties: A Bitchen Time To Be a Teenager!" is his first published work. (And, yeah, he knows that bitchen/bitchin' can be spelled two different ways...)

His second offering, "Don't Fight With the Garden Hose & Other Lessons I've Learned Along the Way" is now available at Amazon.com

[Please note, there are other books written by Tom/Thomas Harvey...who would've known there would be more than one author with the same name?!]

Reviews

[Robert McClarren · Rating 4 out of 5]

Are you a person? Have you lived through your life so far? If you fit these simple criteria, you will probably enjoy Tom Harvey's second journey into the writing world. It's an enjoyable rollercoaster of humor and emotion and you'll find something to connect with between the covers. I particularly got a kick out of the author's inner MST3K treatment of the cinema classic "The Red Balloon".

Good job avoiding the dreaded sophomore slump, Tom. I look forward to the novel in progress.

[Kara · Rating 4 out of 5]

I picked this up for free on Kindle and I read a few essays thinking,"this is witty" but mostly feeling so-so about the book. Then I read the chapter about his friend Odie and the whole book changed for me. I finished the rest in one sitting. One messy, ugly crying yet laughing out loud, sitting. The pieces about his mom and his uncle were just beautifully written and show off a talent for story telling.

The title doesn't do this book justice, as there was a depth here I wasn't expecting. Funny in parts? Sure and definitely read this if you need to laugh. But there is much more here than some belly laughs.

Looking forward to reading more by this author.

[Audrey Calpis · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read Tom Harvey’s The Eighties: A Bitchen Time To Be a Teenager! And thought that was so funny, I did not hesitate to find out why he was fighting with a garden hose.

This man is truly funny. The opening was with the garden hose made me laugh because he is so dead on correct: Satan himself was the chief architect in Hell’s plumbing department.

Truly this book made me laugh.

It was a pleasure to read.

I appreciated all the endorphin rushes. It’s a feel good book.

[Hunter Wilde · Rating 5 out of 5]

I didn't know what to expect when I downloaded this book as a freebie on Kindle but it looked like it would be enjoyable. I was not let down and in fact was pleasantly surprised. It had me laughing, smiling, nodding my head; Odie's story brought tears to my eyes. What I take from this book is more than just a few cute stories, but a life lesson. Don't sweat the small stuff, just load the wagon!

I recommend this book to others. It is well written and thoroughly enjoyable.

[Annette · Rating 3 out of 5]

As promised...I laughed and I cried. Tom has an easy and relaxed writing style. This book is comprised of memories and people that have influenced the man Tom has become.....and a compilation of " lessons learned ". HINT: my favorites include the " stalking of a celebrity " - they find private commodes....and, love of Elvis - ( I will live forever ) !

[Jim · Rating 3 out of 5]

Snippets of Tom Harvey's life, blog-post style - or at least that's the feel of it. We're introduced to the folks in Harvey's life that were important to him and even though we don't know these folks (it's not a name dropping fest as one finds in celeb bios) they become characters i want to know - or wish I knew. We disagree mightily on the top 15 songs, but that's to be expected. A fun read.

[Carol · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book! Not something I would normally have read, thank you kindle! I laughed and cried. This was a fun and insightful romp through part of the author's life and how he handled tough situations with humor and faith.

[Allison · Rating 5 out of 5]

You know that guy who always tells the BEST stories, the ones that make you think, laugh, relate? Tom Harvey has managed to pull it off beautifully with this book, an absolutely wonderful read. I can't wait to see what he comes out with next! Congrats on another fabulous book Tom!

[Mavis · Rating 4 out of 5]

I liked this book more than the last. It felt more personal and I was able to relate to the stories better. Especially the chapter about running. I to have become a runner in the last few years and my inner dialogue is similar.
And yes, I did tear up...a few times.

[Alicia Huxtable · Rating 4 out of 5]

Interesting

Had me giggling at most of this book. Amusing to say the least. I quite enjoyed this book and have now learnt several new lesslns

[Paula Ackley · Rating 3 out of 5]

I am glad that I read the author's first book "The Eighties:A Bitchen Time To Be A Teenager!" first. It gave me more of a background on some of the characters in Tom Harvey's life. And I do mean characters. That said, I didn't like his second book as much as the first. It didn't quite come together. Parts were funny. Parts were sad. The book jumped back and forth between different events and different times. I would have enjoyed it more if it had followed some sort of an order. Mr. Harvey is a good story teller and I look forward to his work of fiction.

[Candice · Rating 3 out of 5]

I do have to say I enjoyed the author's first book, The Eighties: A Bitchen Time To Be a Teenager!, a bit more than this book but this book was a good read as well. It was just not as cohesive as his first book. Also it seemed like there were a lot of exclamation points in the book. That is a minor quibble so I wouldn't let that stop you from reading the book. You will laugh and cry reading this book.

[Karen · Rating 4 out of 5]

Read The Eighties First

I read both books back to back this afternoon (on the recommendation of a friend who particularly enjoyed Garden Hose.) I enjoyed both but found Garden Hose more poignant and Eighties more humorous.

If you tend to be on the emotional side, do yourself a favor and have a box of tissues nearby. The chapters on Odie and the author's mother and grandparents had me reaching for my tissue box.

[Beth · Rating 3 out of 5]

I enjoyed this book but I could have used a bit more substance. I do enjoy short stories, but these were closer to blog posts than short stories in my opinion. I read the blurb at the beginning of the book and didn't see a reference to a blog so I'm not sure if these stories are republished from a blog or not. I'll have to check out his Eighties book - perhaps I'll enjoy that book a bit more.

[Su · Rating 4 out of 5]

I'm spending a lot of time on public transportation right now, and powering through Kindle books is a side effect. This book is not laugh-out-loud funny (for me--your mileage may vary, as always), but it is heartwarming and delightful. Except for the chapters on losing people he's loved. Those were heartbreaking and delightful.

[Carrie Allen · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was surprisingly good! I am not sure who Tom Harvey is, and hadn't read the first book he wrote, but I decided to try this and I really liked it. Parts were super funny and other parts very serious and touching.

[Tom Harvey · Rating 5 out of 5]

Well...I'm the author so...I LOVE IT! ;o)

[Lisa · Rating 4 out of 5]

Funny and sad all at the same time. Tom Harvey is a great storyteller. I'm looking forward to his adventures as a fiction writer.

[Bethany · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book turned out not to be what I was expecting when I started reading it. It has some moments that are striking. And deep. With a dash of humor. It's defnately worth your time.

[Gretchen Menzel · Rating 4 out of 5]

My thoughts on your book.

I enjoyed most of it. Amazon doesn't have The Little Boy. Any other place to find it?
Gretchen Menzel
Gmenzel1551@gmail.com

[Joe Arieno · Rating 3 out of 5]

I neither liked nor disliked this book. Some parts were good and some not so good

[Erinn · Rating 2 out of 5]

Depressing. Intended as witty, but quite honestly, I found it long and too personal. The title was horribly deceiving.

[bri · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved it!

I read The Eighties first. I had to keep on and read Garden Hose. 18 hours later (thank goodness I had a day off) I'm still smiling.

[Whistler's Mom · Rating 2 out of 5]

Not for me, thanks.

This book looked funny , but I was disappointed in it. Does that mean you won't like it? Not at all. More than any other genre, a memoir requires that the reader feel some connection with the author to be successful. The writing is good, but I just don't have enough in common with this author to really love his stories.

So ask yourself the following questions:

Is music important to you? Do you remember your life in terms of what songs you were listening to at the time?

Can you read about Elvis Presley fanatics without rolling your eyes? (Not your hips. Your eyes.)

Do your enjoy hearing middle-aged people talk at length about their high-school experiences? In particular, do you agree with the author that under-aged teens cruising around guzzling alcohol is a "cool" memory to be cherished? Do you agree with him that only a stupid, narrow-minded police officer would object?

Congratulations, reader. You're cleared for take-off.

Stories of the author's family did sound familiar to me. Understandable when he explains that his mother and grandparents moved to rural California from the rural South. I'm southern on both sides myself, but I my relatives were city folks who left wills and made end-of-life and burial arrangements in advance. If I'm related to anyone who ever did more than shrug about "The King", I never heard about it. Music has never been important to me and I don't share the author's contempt for rules, laws, and authority.

I do have one thing in common with the author. I'm not related to Johnny Cash, either. I can see some people loving this book, but it's not for me.

[Erin Sclesky · Rating 5 out of 5]

Highly Recommend

This book reminded me a bit of Robert Fulghum. It had moments of laughter and a few of tears. It felt completely real and natural, like an old friend reminiscing over a cup of coffee. The lessons are poignant and relatable. I highly recommend this book if you're looking for an easy but heartfelt read.

[Kerry · Rating 4 out of 5]

Engaging and Laced with Humour

I'll read more of this author. He's accessible and unpretentious, despite his obvious command of language and affinity with the outrageous. I loved this book.

[Lescolores · Rating 3 out of 5]

Ok.

[Sandy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Funny

This book was funny in spots. Tom tells a good story. I would most definitely read more of his books.

[LINDA · Rating 3 out of 5]

Silly

Some chapters were very interesting others were junk need to expand your main character more get a real feel for them - so seem like rambling on with no point

[Flsunluvr · Rating 5 out of 5]

Anyone who survived the 80's is worth the time to check out! Harvey's life lessons are both funny and touching and as someone else who went thru the bitchin' 80's, I can "totally" empathize.
As a side note - this book was very well edited - something I don't see often enough in e-books. Nicely done!