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The No Contact Rule
You're trying to get over your ex, yet you're still in touch and have ended up being their back-up plan. Maybe you haven't left yet, but you want to and just don't know how. Maybe you're tired of doing the lather, rinse, repeat of getting back together and winding back at square one. It's time to cut contact. The No Contact Rule is an inspiring guide to extinguishing the temptation to stay in touch or to keep engaging, helping you to reclaim your sense of self and move on to a healthier relationship. Through her popular blog Baggage Reclaim, Natalie Lue has helped thousands of people break free from unhealthy relationships and breakups after using No Contact to kick a toxic relationship and transform her life. Discover what 'NC' is and how to do it, how to break an unhealthy cycle and navigate various situations - from Facebook to pesky texts, working together, sharing a child or feeling trapped by your feelings and thoughts. Cut contact and put the focus on you. By treating you with the love, care, trust and respect you deserve, this could be one of the best decisions you've ever made.
284 pages, Kindle Edition
First published May 1, 2007
129 people are currently reading
398 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 23 of 23 reviews
September 25, 2014
Much of the content of this book is also covered at the author's blog, but I needed more. I recommend this book to anyone who needs support in a break up. It helps with understanding the nature of toxic relationship cycles, deciphering behaviors, etc. of someone who "seems" to want you but really doesn't. I'm convinced that in most cases, the NC is the best method to help you with letting go and moving on from a dead relationship.
October 31, 2020
I found out
This book enlightened me in very detailed way. When I put NC into practice I got a lot of clarity from the external AND internal responses and reactions. It has been nothing but positive even when it hurt. There are tons of lessons to be learned from taking a different course of action. My learning may not be like anyone else’s I cam guarantee tho, you won’t put this book down empty handed.
This book enlightened me in very detailed way. When I put NC into practice I got a lot of clarity from the external AND internal responses and reactions. It has been nothing but positive even when it hurt. There are tons of lessons to be learned from taking a different course of action. My learning may not be like anyone else’s I cam guarantee tho, you won’t put this book down empty handed.
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December 26, 2020Getting over a break up
A essential read to help people get over the heartbreak of a relationship. It helped me realise I was settling for less than I am worth.
A essential read to help people get over the heartbreak of a relationship. It helped me realise I was settling for less than I am worth.
February 3, 2016
LOVE this book. I got hooked reading the free sample of this no nonsense, slightly more than common sense book. Only after I started reading did I realize Miss Lue is not a trained therapist or doctor of anything psychological. But the way she encourages people who may be struggling after a break up (struggling to move on, that is) had me buying her book anyway.
Think of Lue as one part Life coach, one part BTDT (been there, done that) who happens to have really learned her lesson and has a magical way of imparting that lesson to others who come after her.
Even if you already know what to do, this is a good reminder for those who maybe have slipped a bit in their “breaking” with their exes, and who therefore, are finding themselves stymied in their efforts to heal and move on.
Lue’s NO CONTACT RULE is an easy read, full of wisdom for the broken hearted. Highly recommend.
Think of Lue as one part Life coach, one part BTDT (been there, done that) who happens to have really learned her lesson and has a magical way of imparting that lesson to others who come after her.
Even if you already know what to do, this is a good reminder for those who maybe have slipped a bit in their “breaking” with their exes, and who therefore, are finding themselves stymied in their efforts to heal and move on.
Lue’s NO CONTACT RULE is an easy read, full of wisdom for the broken hearted. Highly recommend.
February 4, 2019
In a nutshell, if someone is making your life tough, manipulating you, and you keep getting sucked back in this book is for you. Basically, do not call, text, have as a friend on social media, reply to their messages at all. The exception is if you share children together and then only talk about your children, nothing else. Set up boundaries. I found this book a little harsh, but then again maybe that's why it was written for me and I picked it up because I think we can be friends but the reality is we were not there yet. If you think you may need this book, you probably do.
May 10, 2019
This book offers very solid advice with concrete steps on what you can do after a heartbreak. Just like in her earlier book Mr Unavailable and the Fallback Girl, and her blog and podcast, Baggage Reclaim, Natalie gives tough love but you know you have to listen to her. It's for your own good.
May 14, 2017
It is not game-playing or manipulating, it is a way to teach yourself how to set a healthy boundary.
It's a necessary read for those who has doubt whether their no contact action is truly needed.
It's a necessary read for those who has doubt whether their no contact action is truly needed.
June 21, 2018
This was the book that changed how I related to ex and set me free.
July 11, 2019
Good points. Bad writing
August 12, 2023
Super boring.... All its content could be summarised in maximum 10 pages...the rest doesn't make sense.
January 31, 2020
Just what I needed. Don’t stay in relationships especially when they think they’ve done no wrong. You both have and that’s why things end. Don’t try to fix it. I forgave but someone is still bitter and thinks they did no wrong. Yelling at me, withholding things from me, etc. is wrong. I never got closure, but you just move on. It’s not worth it. Period. I forgave me. I forgave the person. I tried to get questions answered. I tried to get things back the divorce papers said I should get back, but it was all allegedly thrown away. Karma is a bitch. But I won’t be around to see it. I just don’t care anymore. Don’t let them or feeling of them pull you back in to a emotional abusive life.
November 29, 2021
Its something we all should read post break up I think, sometimes when we deal with narcissistic people they brain wash you to think a certain way and this No Control Rule is the only way to go.
It makes you realize how much you should put yourself on top of your priority list and how much better you deserve I life than another persons negative bad behavior.
It makes you realize how much you should put yourself on top of your priority list and how much better you deserve I life than another persons negative bad behavior.
December 23, 2023
unbelievably helpful after a soul crushing relationship
I used this actually to help with a platonic best friendship that ended extremely painfully. The author does an amazing job pointing out important aspects that I was too close to see. The advice and counsel was very valuable. I feel like I am now able to end my nightmare.
I used this actually to help with a platonic best friendship that ended extremely painfully. The author does an amazing job pointing out important aspects that I was too close to see. The advice and counsel was very valuable. I feel like I am now able to end my nightmare.
September 19, 2024
Finished this about a month ago and I’m still going strong with the no (or unfortunately ‘low’) contact rule. It does get easier the more time passes. The book itself is very informative with Natalie drawing from her own personal experiences. I have and am planning to continue to listen to her blogs/blogs on her website 👍
August 1, 2017
There are some good concepts but there are points things felt redundant.
May 22, 2022
It was extremely useful for my personal circumstances. The book gave words to a lot of my thoughts, laid down the consequences of different decision trees.
August 5, 2023
The best breakup book ever written
October 22, 2023
This book has saved my life SO many times in dealing with people that it was past time to kick out of my life for my own personal safety and sanity. It’s great for anyone who you need to shut out; family, colleagues, co workers,etc. I will keep my Kindle copy forever.
Protect yourself and your emotional energy. Thank God for Natalie Lue.
Protect yourself and your emotional energy. Thank God for Natalie Lue.
October 17, 2020
I listened to the audio book instead of reading it and loved that I did. Natalie Lue narrates it herself and I appreciate when authors narrate their own writing specifically in autobiographies and self improvement books. Feels more real. If you’re a fan of Natalie’s podcast and are going through a rough time leaving a difficult/unhealthy relationship I HIGHLY recommend giving this a listen!
October 10, 2017
Can't really remember when I read it. In bits and pieces that's why take so long to finish. Worth reading after stopping unhealthy relationship. Makes sense, helps keep one on track. Was halfway thru book and didn't really need it after that. But wanted to persist on and finish.
June 21, 2015
Love this
August 6, 2015
grenser, integritet og verdighet. Elsk deg først<3
March 31, 2017
this book was insightful and informative it provided some good techniques to use and explanations as to why no contact is so important.
Displaying 1 - 23 of 23 reviews