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Benjamins Parasit
Zu jedem Zeitpunkt beherbergt der menschliche Körper Millionen von Parasiten. Dies ist die Geschichte von nur einem von ihnen. Einem wirklich, wirklich widerlichen.
Benjamin Wilson hatte einen lausigen Monat, und das sogar noch vor seinen Magenschmerzen. Er wurde bald 40. Einer seiner Schüler war erschossen worden, während er mit einem Fleischerbeil Amok lief. Und kurz nach dessen Beerdigung fühlte sich Benjamin nicht so wohl
Es verändert sich jetzt alles. Sein Körper wird auf eine sehr unangenehme Weise beeinträchtigt. Sein Charakter entwickelt ein paar "Marotten". Aber die größte Veränderung besteht darin, dass ein Haufen böser und/oder psychisch gestörter Leute versucht ihn umzubringen, um an den Parasiten zu gelangen. Seine einzige Hoffnung ist Julie, eine hinreißende Kopfgeldjägerin, die das Beste für ihn will oder vielleicht auch nicht. Und die fähig genug ist, ihm irgendwie zu helfen oder vielleicht auch nicht.
Benjamin Wilson hatte einen lausigen Monat, und das sogar noch vor seinen Magenschmerzen. Er wurde bald 40. Einer seiner Schüler war erschossen worden, während er mit einem Fleischerbeil Amok lief. Und kurz nach dessen Beerdigung fühlte sich Benjamin nicht so wohl
Es verändert sich jetzt alles. Sein Körper wird auf eine sehr unangenehme Weise beeinträchtigt. Sein Charakter entwickelt ein paar "Marotten". Aber die größte Veränderung besteht darin, dass ein Haufen böser und/oder psychisch gestörter Leute versucht ihn umzubringen, um an den Parasiten zu gelangen. Seine einzige Hoffnung ist Julie, eine hinreißende Kopfgeldjägerin, die das Beste für ihn will oder vielleicht auch nicht. Und die fähig genug ist, ihm irgendwie zu helfen oder vielleicht auch nicht.
280 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2009
118 people are currently reading
635 people want to read
About the author
Jeff Strand
230 books2,221 followersBram Stoker Award-winning author of a bunch of demented books, including PRESSURE, DWELLER, CLOWNS VS. SPIDERS, AUTUMN BLEEDS INTO WINTER, MY PRETTIES, the official novelization of ATTACK OF THE KILLER TOMATOES, and lots of others!
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 93 reviews
January 24, 2018
Everybody in here is deliriously incompetent. Q: It wasn't like they'd failed repeatedly. Well, it was like they'd failed repeatedly, but not at this particular task. (c)
I don't know what to grade it. It's frigging hilarious! And stupid.
Q:
"Look at those tentacles! I've got Chthulu in my gut!"...
"Scary monster blockage?"
"You probably shouldn't refer to it as a monster," Dr. White suggested. "That's not good for your blood pressure."
"What should I call it? Bob the Happy Little Parasite?"
"I don't recommend naming it, either."
"That was a joke."
"Joking is good. I do recommend joking."(c)
Q:
I have changed the names, not to protect the individuals represented in these pages, but to protect you, the reader. This story is top secret in a "If you knew the whole truth, I'd have to kill you" manner, and my busy schedule doesn't allow me to hunt down each of you, bash you in the head with a shovel, and bury you in a shallow grave.
There will be moments in this narrative that you will consider "farfetched." Well, do you know what else is farfetched? Reality. Reality is freakin' insane, people! It's absolutely jam-packed with stuff where you think "No way could that possibly be true! That's too messed up! The media has got to be exaggerating for dramatic effect!"
But it's not.
After you finish enjoying this book, you may receive a visitor at your place of residence (yes, all sales of this book have been tracked—sorry about that). He or she will be polite but stern, and ask you a few questions. It is very important that you do not break eye contact. Breaking eye contact implies guilt. Guilt implies that you need to be eliminated. You don't want that.
The best response is to chuckle and say "Benjamin's Parasite? Fun little book. Totally implausible, but, hey, it's fiction, right?" If you get the chuckle right, he or she will determine that you do not know The Truth, and will most likely leave you alone.
Enjoy the read! (c)
Q:
"In the future, if you're going to speak metaphorically, almost every other word in the English language is sexier than 'anus'." (c)
Q:
This was another remarkable yet poorly timed development. (c)
Q:
"What if the cow gets out?" "Oh, don't you worry, the cow won't get out." "But what if it does?" "You're just being paranoid; the cow isn't going anywhere." "The cow seems kind of irritable; maybe we should rethink the security precautions." "No, no, no, that will take valuable resources away from our research. You're acting like a silly little girl." (c)
Q:
Benjamin walked through the automatic doors of the hardware store.... He passed a display of shower curtain rods and thought Oooh, Margaret and I could have fun with those.
He quickly shook away the thought. Shower curtain rods? As marital aids? Was he delusional?
...
He continued walking down the main aisle.
Clamps and vices...nice.
They didn't have a chimney, but he could get in some nice tickling with that chimney cleaning brush.
The electric paint mixer could be fun. On a low speed, of course.
Duct tape. A perfect backup if he couldn't find fuzzy handcuffs.
Plungers. Extension cords. Gear lube. A rake, or at least the handle.
The whole frickin' place was a sex toy emporium! (c)
Q:
She jammed the needle into him. "Perfect!" She depressed the plunger all the way, then pulled away. "Oh, wait, the needle broke off. Oh well. We'll get it out later." (с)
Q:
"Did he ever smoke marijuana?"
"No."
"Never?"
"Not ever."
"Would you prefer to be questioned without the presence of your daughter?"
"My husband never smoked pot."
The cop nodded thoughtfully. "I see."
"And even if he went through sixteen doobies a day, I don't know what this has to do with him being kidnapped." (c)
Q:
Benjamin turned around and looked at the van again. It didn't seem to be driving in a particularly sociopathic manner, but it was still oddly menacing. (c) That's the general tendency.
Q:
"Whether they realize it or not, everybody lives their lives with a moral code," Marissa explained. "Sometimes it's a very simple code, perhaps like Morse Code. I don't mean that literally, I just mean that some moral codes are a simple, straightforward series of dots and dashes. Some moral codes are more complex and harder to understand. Perhaps they're a cryptogram like what you might find in the newspaper, where C equals H and K equals E and so on. People who have that kind of moral code may find themselves confused at times. Almost lost. But there's always a hint available if you turn the paper upside down. Just don't wait until the next day for the solution." (c)
Q:
Benjamin was now pointing a loaded pistol at himself, but he quickly rectified the situation and spun it around at Clyde.
"I'll shoot him," Benjamin warned. "I mean it."
"I'll give you fifty bucks if you make it a head shot," said Pedro. (c)
Q:
...Julie's lack of planning skills and common sense made her a less than desirable benefactor in Benjamin's eyes... (c)
I don't know what to grade it. It's frigging hilarious! And stupid.
Q:
"Look at those tentacles! I've got Chthulu in my gut!"...
"Scary monster blockage?"
"You probably shouldn't refer to it as a monster," Dr. White suggested. "That's not good for your blood pressure."
"What should I call it? Bob the Happy Little Parasite?"
"I don't recommend naming it, either."
"That was a joke."
"Joking is good. I do recommend joking."(c)
Q:
I have changed the names, not to protect the individuals represented in these pages, but to protect you, the reader. This story is top secret in a "If you knew the whole truth, I'd have to kill you" manner, and my busy schedule doesn't allow me to hunt down each of you, bash you in the head with a shovel, and bury you in a shallow grave.
There will be moments in this narrative that you will consider "farfetched." Well, do you know what else is farfetched? Reality. Reality is freakin' insane, people! It's absolutely jam-packed with stuff where you think "No way could that possibly be true! That's too messed up! The media has got to be exaggerating for dramatic effect!"
But it's not.
After you finish enjoying this book, you may receive a visitor at your place of residence (yes, all sales of this book have been tracked—sorry about that). He or she will be polite but stern, and ask you a few questions. It is very important that you do not break eye contact. Breaking eye contact implies guilt. Guilt implies that you need to be eliminated. You don't want that.
The best response is to chuckle and say "Benjamin's Parasite? Fun little book. Totally implausible, but, hey, it's fiction, right?" If you get the chuckle right, he or she will determine that you do not know The Truth, and will most likely leave you alone.
Enjoy the read! (c)
Q:
"In the future, if you're going to speak metaphorically, almost every other word in the English language is sexier than 'anus'." (c)
Q:
This was another remarkable yet poorly timed development. (c)
Q:
"What if the cow gets out?" "Oh, don't you worry, the cow won't get out." "But what if it does?" "You're just being paranoid; the cow isn't going anywhere." "The cow seems kind of irritable; maybe we should rethink the security precautions." "No, no, no, that will take valuable resources away from our research. You're acting like a silly little girl." (c)
Q:
Benjamin walked through the automatic doors of the hardware store.... He passed a display of shower curtain rods and thought Oooh, Margaret and I could have fun with those.
He quickly shook away the thought. Shower curtain rods? As marital aids? Was he delusional?
...
He continued walking down the main aisle.
Clamps and vices...nice.
They didn't have a chimney, but he could get in some nice tickling with that chimney cleaning brush.
The electric paint mixer could be fun. On a low speed, of course.
Duct tape. A perfect backup if he couldn't find fuzzy handcuffs.
Plungers. Extension cords. Gear lube. A rake, or at least the handle.
The whole frickin' place was a sex toy emporium! (c)
Q:
She jammed the needle into him. "Perfect!" She depressed the plunger all the way, then pulled away. "Oh, wait, the needle broke off. Oh well. We'll get it out later." (с)
Q:
"Did he ever smoke marijuana?"
"No."
"Never?"
"Not ever."
"Would you prefer to be questioned without the presence of your daughter?"
"My husband never smoked pot."
The cop nodded thoughtfully. "I see."
"And even if he went through sixteen doobies a day, I don't know what this has to do with him being kidnapped." (c)
Q:
Benjamin turned around and looked at the van again. It didn't seem to be driving in a particularly sociopathic manner, but it was still oddly menacing. (c) That's the general tendency.
Q:
"Whether they realize it or not, everybody lives their lives with a moral code," Marissa explained. "Sometimes it's a very simple code, perhaps like Morse Code. I don't mean that literally, I just mean that some moral codes are a simple, straightforward series of dots and dashes. Some moral codes are more complex and harder to understand. Perhaps they're a cryptogram like what you might find in the newspaper, where C equals H and K equals E and so on. People who have that kind of moral code may find themselves confused at times. Almost lost. But there's always a hint available if you turn the paper upside down. Just don't wait until the next day for the solution." (c)
Q:
Benjamin was now pointing a loaded pistol at himself, but he quickly rectified the situation and spun it around at Clyde.
"I'll shoot him," Benjamin warned. "I mean it."
"I'll give you fifty bucks if you make it a head shot," said Pedro. (c)
Q:
...Julie's lack of planning skills and common sense made her a less than desirable benefactor in Benjamin's eyes... (c)
September 30, 2017
I swear, this guy can tell you the sickest shit that will make you laugh your ass off while feeling guilty about it.
Your words, sir, inspires me, but I will never admit to anybody who knows me how truly sick my sense of humor is...
Job well done!
Your words, sir, inspires me, but I will never admit to anybody who knows me how truly sick my sense of humor is...
Job well done!
June 12, 2022
When you are minding your business…
Benjamin is a teacher and he is mild mannered and friendly, but what he goes through in this book is a disaster on two feet 🦶🏽.
I don’t know how to say this without giving anything away, but I must say that he definitely has a parasite.
Benjamin is a teacher and he is mild mannered and friendly, but what he goes through in this book is a disaster on two feet 🦶🏽.
I don’t know how to say this without giving anything away, but I must say that he definitely has a parasite.
December 31, 2019
I’ve lost track of how many Jeff Strand books I have read now and this one does not disappoint. It is, as always, amusing and a little bit bonkers with nonstop action and it’s more than a little gross at times too.
Our poor protagonist Benjamin is not having a good time, things go from bad to worse for him until the parasite is only half the problem. It feels like everyone is out to get him and things really do deteriorate on an epic scale.
We also have plenty of amusing and horrible characters in here - something for everyone. The Smith brothers were a particular idiotic delight.
I would say in summary it’s funny and eurgh and I’m going to give it a delightful 5*/5
Our poor protagonist Benjamin is not having a good time, things go from bad to worse for him until the parasite is only half the problem. It feels like everyone is out to get him and things really do deteriorate on an epic scale.
We also have plenty of amusing and horrible characters in here - something for everyone. The Smith brothers were a particular idiotic delight.
I would say in summary it’s funny and eurgh and I’m going to give it a delightful 5*/5
February 26, 2022
"In the future, if you're going to speak metaphorically, almost every other word in the English language is sexier than 'anus'."
This book is gross. Disturbing. Gave me the heebie-jeebies on a regular basis. And had me laughing so damn hard, I was crying - multiple times.
I even liked the parasite!
Jeff, I don't know how you do it. I really don't. But never stop being you, or writing these epic stories.
Available on Amazon! And just released on Audible!
This book is gross. Disturbing. Gave me the heebie-jeebies on a regular basis. And had me laughing so damn hard, I was crying - multiple times.
I even liked the parasite!
Jeff, I don't know how you do it. I really don't. But never stop being you, or writing these epic stories.
Available on Amazon! And just released on Audible!
January 12, 2020
3.5 stars
My first experience with this author and what a wild ride it was. Started and ended with action, and was packed with more action and plenty of humor in between that made me laugh out loud at least a couple of times. This was a quick read that was light and humorous, and was just what I needed at the moment. I’ll keep this author in mind when I find myself having trouble focusing on other books as sometimes happens.
My first experience with this author and what a wild ride it was. Started and ended with action, and was packed with more action and plenty of humor in between that made me laugh out loud at least a couple of times. This was a quick read that was light and humorous, and was just what I needed at the moment. I’ll keep this author in mind when I find myself having trouble focusing on other books as sometimes happens.
October 23, 2014
This story opens with high school student Brian playing a violent video game where you kill people for points. After a while, he grabs a meat cleaver and goes after his mom and neighbors in an attempt to score more points. A neighbor has to shoot him to stop him. At his funeral, his teacher Benjamin is at the casket paying his respects when he thinks he sees Brian's lips twitch. After leaning closer to look again, he feels a soft breath on his face. Little did he know, a parasite just transferred from Brian's body to Benjamin's. After several cravings and a strong bout of intestinal pain, Benjamin finds out he has a parasite and goes to the hospital to get it removed. Before that happens, a strange woman shows up and kidnaps him at gunpoint. Unfortunately for him, this is only the start of his problems...
This was a fast, very fun read! I really liked and grew attached to the characters, including the cute little parasite. Only Strand can turn something so disgusting into a fun filled ride that leaves you hungry for more. Highly recommended!
This was a fast, very fun read! I really liked and grew attached to the characters, including the cute little parasite. Only Strand can turn something so disgusting into a fun filled ride that leaves you hungry for more. Highly recommended!
June 1, 2012
This book was, hands down, one of the most enjoyable reading experiences I have had in a long, long time. How can you go wrong with a telepathic parasite? It had me laughing and cringing, often at the same time. I don't usually find that authors can successfully mix lots of humor with horror/thrills but Strand does it seamlessly. I was laughing so much my family kept looking over and asking what was so funny. The book has plenty of cringe-inducing moments, too, to keep the horror side of us happy as well. Strand's dialogue is just brilliant and makes the characters more interesting then they probably should be. If you like Strand, you will love this book. Very highly recommended.
March 16, 2016
Jeff Strand is one of the more dependable authors working in and around the horror/thriller genres today.
When you pick up a Strand book, you can be pretty sure - Kumquat excepted - that you know what you're going to get. Smart-assed main characters who are never short of a quip, deplorable antagonists who have will get what's coming to them, fast-paced action, and faster-paced dialogue.
Benjamin's Parasite is certainly no exception to these Strand-isms. But as much as I enjoy Strand's style, with this one, I couldn't help but wonder if, every once in a while, I might prefer something a little different, a tad unexpected.
Because I was never in one iota of doubt as to how Benjamin's Parasite was going to end. And this made for a sense of slight disappointment as I swiped through the story's epilogue.
Don't get me wrong, I'll definitely be back for more from Strand. It's just that in between each serve of hearty Strand steak, I might need to try something more exotic and different. Something like say, okonomiyaki. Mmmm ...
Is anyone else suddenly hungry?
3 Unwanted Passengers for Benjamin's Parasite
When you pick up a Strand book, you can be pretty sure - Kumquat excepted - that you know what you're going to get. Smart-assed main characters who are never short of a quip, deplorable antagonists who have will get what's coming to them, fast-paced action, and faster-paced dialogue.
Benjamin's Parasite is certainly no exception to these Strand-isms. But as much as I enjoy Strand's style, with this one, I couldn't help but wonder if, every once in a while, I might prefer something a little different, a tad unexpected.
Because I was never in one iota of doubt as to how Benjamin's Parasite was going to end. And this made for a sense of slight disappointment as I swiped through the story's epilogue.
Don't get me wrong, I'll definitely be back for more from Strand. It's just that in between each serve of hearty Strand steak, I might need to try something more exotic and different. Something like say, okonomiyaki. Mmmm ...
Is anyone else suddenly hungry?
3 Unwanted Passengers for Benjamin's Parasite
January 13, 2013
This is the second Strand novel I have read and I do not understand how this author’s books are not sought out more frequently. I hope Dweller and Benjamin's Parasite are typical examples of his writing because I can’t wait to read everything he’s written.
Benjamin has a six-foot parasite residing in his intestines. He wants it out but a couple other groups want to save the specimen. This is a fun read; lots of action, great dialogue and a fair amount of gore. Strand has the rare ability to make me gag and laugh at the same time. Highly recommend.
Benjamin has a six-foot parasite residing in his intestines. He wants it out but a couple other groups want to save the specimen. This is a fun read; lots of action, great dialogue and a fair amount of gore. Strand has the rare ability to make me gag and laugh at the same time. Highly recommend.
July 3, 2021
Добре, това беше шеметен второкласен, хумо��истичен хорър с онази вибрация на направо на ДВД хорър филм. Основната идея почти не движи сюжета, това го правят ситуациите, които не знаеш нито защо, нито какво по дяволите се случва.
Бенджамин е гонещ четиридесетака професор по литература. Един ден, на погребение на свой студент, незнайно защо побъркал се, професорът хваща гаден паразит. Изведнъж паразитът засилва всичките му неприемливи за положението влечения - хазарт, секс и много шоколад. А най-лошото е, че изведнъж всички започват да го търсят. След като е изкаран от болницата под дулото на симпатична наемница, Бенджамин се впуска, не по свое желание в застрашаващо живота му преследване изпълнено с лекари психопати, наемно убийци идиоти и един многопипалест паразит, който започва да унищожава тялото и да контролира съзнанието му.
Има много смях, доволно гадости и шеметно-абсурдни сюжетни обрати. Може би даже е за пет звезди, спрямо забавлението, което осигурява на читателя, но Dweller и Blister много ми вдигнаха летвата за Странд, видях, че може освен сплетър и кретении да прави и завладяващи, прочувстващи сюжети. Тук няма такова нещо, не че е чак такава загуба.
Бенджамин е гонещ четиридесетака професор по литература. Един ден, на погребение на свой студент, незнайно защо побъркал се, професорът хваща гаден паразит. Изведнъж паразитът засилва всичките му неприемливи за положението влечения - хазарт, секс и много шоколад. А най-лошото е, че изведнъж всички започват да го търсят. След като е изкаран от болницата под дулото на симпатична наемница, Бенджамин се впуска, не по свое желание в застрашаващо живота му преследване изпълнено с лекари психопати, наемно убийци идиоти и един многопипалест паразит, който започва да унищожава тялото и да контролира съзнанието му.
Има много смях, доволно гадости и шеметно-абсурдни сюжетни обрати. Може би даже е за пет звезди, спрямо забавлението, което осигурява на читателя, но Dweller и Blister много ми вдигнаха летвата за Странд, видях, че може освен сплетър и кретении да прави и завладяващи, прочувстващи сюжети. Тук няма такова нещо, не че е чак такава загуба.
January 6, 2020
This is yet another 5* adult comic adventure which you will find action-packed and full of twists and turns from start to finish. It is the crazy story about a 'friendly' parasitic worm and its human host who are 'forced' to cross America in order to find a solution to 'the problem', but who meet, are tracked, harassed and physically assaulted by an assortment of baddies, every step of the way. Then, when finally poor Ben is fortunate enough to meet up with family members again, and his body is covered in blood, bumps, sores, cuts, bruises, scratches, aches, pains, missing teeth and extremely pale skin, all that his daughter notices is that he has decided to shave off his permanent beard for some mad unknown image conscious reason ` - such is the wonderful power of observation possessed by teenagers of today! Hilarious. Then there is the awesome power of the mysterious 'black box' - think I will definitely be putting one of those on my Xmas list for next year, no problem, then again, maybe not! Does Ben manage to live to tell the tale? - follow his journey, enjoy the fun and discover his and his parasite's ultimate destiny...I would thoroughly recommend you to do so. Stars - 5.5 (if possible)
March 6, 2020
Brian is infected with a parasite that causes him to try and murder his mother, resulting in his neighbour killing him. After getting too close to Brian at the funeral, his teacher Benjamin becomes infected. He develops an uncontrollable urge to eat candy, and develops the sex drive and attitude of a teenage boy. When the doctors see the parasite inside him during an X-Ray it is decided to do immediate surgery but two groups of people want to get their hands on Benjamin's Parasite and that could be bad news for him as to these people it is more important than his own life.
This book started nicely with Brian's rampage and Benjamin's infection. It was amusing to see the change in his behaviour and some of the dumb and inappropriate comments and thoughts that were coming to him. The first seventy pages or so were entertaining. For me, the book changed as soon as Julie came into the story and it became all about the people fighting to get hold of the parasite and less about Benjamin's old life. I had liked the interaction Benjamin had with his family as he changed so I was disappointed that the book then took a different path that I didn't greatly like. The writing itself was fine and the initial plot was interesting but the later changes just didn't appeal to me personally.
This book started nicely with Brian's rampage and Benjamin's infection. It was amusing to see the change in his behaviour and some of the dumb and inappropriate comments and thoughts that were coming to him. The first seventy pages or so were entertaining. For me, the book changed as soon as Julie came into the story and it became all about the people fighting to get hold of the parasite and less about Benjamin's old life. I had liked the interaction Benjamin had with his family as he changed so I was disappointed that the book then took a different path that I didn't greatly like. The writing itself was fine and the initial plot was interesting but the later changes just didn't appeal to me personally.
April 25, 2011
If you like slapstick style comedy coupled with gore and a horror attitude then strand is the man for you. This tale of a vicious little intestinal parasite fulfills all those criteria and keeps you turning the page for more. If you nit-pick anything an author puts on paper then forget this story. There is plenty to criticize in the realm of believability but I read books to escape reality so I really don't care about all that. Read this and lose yourself for a while. It is worth it.
June 21, 2019
Jeff Strand is one my favorite horror writers working today. Even his middling efforts earn a chuckle and a smile as I'll read anything he writes. Parasite isn't his best, but it's still very good. A horror/comedy that's more comedy than actual horror. It's more gross than actually scary, but that doesn't mean it's not fun.
Recommended, but not for the squeamish (it has the word "parasite" in the title- make what you will of it). BTW- Dweller and Pressure are Strand's best.
Recommended, but not for the squeamish (it has the word "parasite" in the title- make what you will of it). BTW- Dweller and Pressure are Strand's best.
April 18, 2022
This is such a great story! I don't consider it horror, necessarily. However, the idea of a parasite inside you is enough to make you cringe.
This is full of humor and witty banter. I highly recommend reading this no matter what genre you read.
This is full of humor and witty banter. I highly recommend reading this no matter what genre you read.
July 25, 2010
Anyone in the horror novel community, be it as a writer or a reader, will probably be aware of Jeff strand. Even if you haven't had the pleasure yet to read one of his books, the man's reputation precedes him. Be it as the Master of Ceremonies at the Stoker awards, his blogs or his book signing events, Jeff has a reputation of being a very funny and extremely entertaining guy.
My first taste of Strand was earlier in the year, his novel PRESSURE. I went into this expecting a high dose of horror-humour, the kind of things you'd expect from Skullvines Press, only less gross. The novel surprised me, as it wasn't played out as a series of jokes, and it delivered shocks a plenty. Pressure was at the time my read of the year, and so far it must still be in the top three.
Benjamin's Parasite is different enough in voice to stand apart from Pressure, but the humourous elements in the longer book (usually the protag's observations of the world around him) are concentrated in Parasite. This stands firmly in the horror-humour Strand camp.
Benjamin is a easy going high school English teacher who, through an unfortunate incident with the corpse of a student, contracts a parasite. This is no mere tape worm, but a giant, toothy, intelligent son of a bitch...and important (and dangerous) people want it! While Benjamin also wants the parasite removed, he has major misgivings and how they intend to get it. Rescued by a sexy yet not-very-good bounty hunter called Julie, the pair try to get to California, where her employer can allegedly remove the parasite safely. All that stands between them and California are miles of road, crazy scientists, gangbanging rednecks and relentless, if not moronic, gangsters.
Yes, you're in for quite a ride!
This is a very, very entertaining story. The humour is spot on. Never one to play for a joke and a punchline, Strand gives his characters perfect banter (remember the scene from Monty Python and the Holy Grail - is it an African or European swallow? If you like that kind of humour, you'll adore this!). Benjamin himself is a genuinely likable character whom you want to see get through all this, despite the horrors he must endure.
The pace blazes. I read this in two sittings, and only because my eyes started to hurt. I would have had no problem reading this cover to cover.
It hits the ground running, and apart from the necessary character intros early on (which are a joy) the book doesn't let up until the last page. It resolves well.
I don't know what else to say. My only criticism was that we never know for sure how the parasite got from the lab to Benjamin's student, but this is a minor plot point.
For a lighter read with some (for me at least) real laugh out loud moments, order this book. Order it now. After Pressure and Parasite, Strand has elevated himself from 'author I like to read' to 'author whose back catalogue I must OWN!'
My first taste of Strand was earlier in the year, his novel PRESSURE. I went into this expecting a high dose of horror-humour, the kind of things you'd expect from Skullvines Press, only less gross. The novel surprised me, as it wasn't played out as a series of jokes, and it delivered shocks a plenty. Pressure was at the time my read of the year, and so far it must still be in the top three.
Benjamin's Parasite is different enough in voice to stand apart from Pressure, but the humourous elements in the longer book (usually the protag's observations of the world around him) are concentrated in Parasite. This stands firmly in the horror-humour Strand camp.
Benjamin is a easy going high school English teacher who, through an unfortunate incident with the corpse of a student, contracts a parasite. This is no mere tape worm, but a giant, toothy, intelligent son of a bitch...and important (and dangerous) people want it! While Benjamin also wants the parasite removed, he has major misgivings and how they intend to get it. Rescued by a sexy yet not-very-good bounty hunter called Julie, the pair try to get to California, where her employer can allegedly remove the parasite safely. All that stands between them and California are miles of road, crazy scientists, gangbanging rednecks and relentless, if not moronic, gangsters.
Yes, you're in for quite a ride!
This is a very, very entertaining story. The humour is spot on. Never one to play for a joke and a punchline, Strand gives his characters perfect banter (remember the scene from Monty Python and the Holy Grail - is it an African or European swallow? If you like that kind of humour, you'll adore this!). Benjamin himself is a genuinely likable character whom you want to see get through all this, despite the horrors he must endure.
The pace blazes. I read this in two sittings, and only because my eyes started to hurt. I would have had no problem reading this cover to cover.
It hits the ground running, and apart from the necessary character intros early on (which are a joy) the book doesn't let up until the last page. It resolves well.
I don't know what else to say. My only criticism was that we never know for sure how the parasite got from the lab to Benjamin's student, but this is a minor plot point.
For a lighter read with some (for me at least) real laugh out loud moments, order this book. Order it now. After Pressure and Parasite, Strand has elevated himself from 'author I like to read' to 'author whose back catalogue I must OWN!'
June 30, 2018
This is my first Jeff Strand book. It was recommended to me by an avid Goodreads member (and my daughter), who has become a huge fan of this author. I think she's trying to read everything he's written, and I've come to discover he is a very prolific writer.
She alerted me that Strand is "different" than many of the writers we both enjoy. I wasn't quite sure what she meant by this, so I was very interested to discover just what it is about him that appeals so greatly to her. I think I now know.
Based upon Benjamin's Parasite, it appears Strand writes novels (and I assume short stories) as if they are movie scripts. Not only is the action non-stop and broad, but people talk in a way they only do in movies. You know how you see characters in films and wish you could think up quips and comebacks the way they do? Of course nobody can do this in real life unless they have a talented screenwriter putting words in their mouths. That's how Jeff Strand writes and how his characters speak. This book could pretty much go straight to the screen with very little rewriting or editing necessary. And for that reason, I'm going to say it's quite good.
I blasted through this book because I was so entertained. Yes, it's often over-the-top and there are certainly some cringe-worthy moments, but it's a classic "page turner" in that it was very had to put it down at the end of a chapter and not immediately find out what happens next.
Its appeal to me was twofold. The characters are interesting and intricate, although some of the side participants are rather stereotyped. Bad people are REALLY bad. But the plot is also wildly unique and engrossing. As farfetched as some of the scenes in the book are, you are able to suspend your disbelieve fully - just like you do in most movies. So I go back to this main characterization of Benjamin's Parasite. It was like reading a movie. I even went so far as to cast it in my mind, which was pretty easy based on Strand's descriptions of his characters.
I plan to read more of Jeff Strand. Perhaps not immediately. I need something a bit more grounded and realistic first, but the next time I'm looking for something fun, exciting and clever, I know where to turn.
She alerted me that Strand is "different" than many of the writers we both enjoy. I wasn't quite sure what she meant by this, so I was very interested to discover just what it is about him that appeals so greatly to her. I think I now know.
Based upon Benjamin's Parasite, it appears Strand writes novels (and I assume short stories) as if they are movie scripts. Not only is the action non-stop and broad, but people talk in a way they only do in movies. You know how you see characters in films and wish you could think up quips and comebacks the way they do? Of course nobody can do this in real life unless they have a talented screenwriter putting words in their mouths. That's how Jeff Strand writes and how his characters speak. This book could pretty much go straight to the screen with very little rewriting or editing necessary. And for that reason, I'm going to say it's quite good.
I blasted through this book because I was so entertained. Yes, it's often over-the-top and there are certainly some cringe-worthy moments, but it's a classic "page turner" in that it was very had to put it down at the end of a chapter and not immediately find out what happens next.
Its appeal to me was twofold. The characters are interesting and intricate, although some of the side participants are rather stereotyped. Bad people are REALLY bad. But the plot is also wildly unique and engrossing. As farfetched as some of the scenes in the book are, you are able to suspend your disbelieve fully - just like you do in most movies. So I go back to this main characterization of Benjamin's Parasite. It was like reading a movie. I even went so far as to cast it in my mind, which was pretty easy based on Strand's descriptions of his characters.
I plan to read more of Jeff Strand. Perhaps not immediately. I need something a bit more grounded and realistic first, but the next time I'm looking for something fun, exciting and clever, I know where to turn.
March 26, 2012
2 AND 1/2 STARS
Author Jeff Strand's book, DWELLER, was my favorite book of 2010. PRESSURE, another thriller by Strand, was quite excellent as well. So I was looking forward to this book and put it high on my reading list. But as each page turned, I found myself shaking my head in confusion. Nothing seemed original to me and for nearly 160 pages the character's "parasite" did nothing more than give him a bad stomach ache. It put a thought or two in his mind and gave him odd cravings, but nothing I haven't read before. The random road trip felt like a stalling technique by Strand and the cast of villains were so dumb, it was physically painful to read their dialogue.
While I admit I'm not a fan of humor in my horror or thrillers, this wasn't even funny for me. There were sporadic moments here and there, but for the most part, this story just didn't work for me. The characters seemed shallow, steered by awkward decisions, and the action was bland. This book just was not funny enough to be a comedy, not suspenseful enough to be scary, and not gory enough to be gross by any horror standards. I'm not sure what inspired Strand to dedicate a couple months to writing this. I hope his newer work is a return to the great fiction I know he can produce. For an author that is so talented, this was a letdown.
Author Jeff Strand's book, DWELLER, was my favorite book of 2010. PRESSURE, another thriller by Strand, was quite excellent as well. So I was looking forward to this book and put it high on my reading list. But as each page turned, I found myself shaking my head in confusion. Nothing seemed original to me and for nearly 160 pages the character's "parasite" did nothing more than give him a bad stomach ache. It put a thought or two in his mind and gave him odd cravings, but nothing I haven't read before. The random road trip felt like a stalling technique by Strand and the cast of villains were so dumb, it was physically painful to read their dialogue.
While I admit I'm not a fan of humor in my horror or thrillers, this wasn't even funny for me. There were sporadic moments here and there, but for the most part, this story just didn't work for me. The characters seemed shallow, steered by awkward decisions, and the action was bland. This book just was not funny enough to be a comedy, not suspenseful enough to be scary, and not gory enough to be gross by any horror standards. I'm not sure what inspired Strand to dedicate a couple months to writing this. I hope his newer work is a return to the great fiction I know he can produce. For an author that is so talented, this was a letdown.
August 28, 2012
If unluckiness runs in families then Benjamin must be Andrew Mayhem's even unluckier cousin. You can't help but feel for this guy. Just as you think it can't get worse for him, another barrel of awful empties on his head. Just like Strand's other comedic character, there is nothing that will shake his faith that all will be right in the end and through it all he retains his optimism. We have to admire him even as we cringe (not figuratively, I actually did physically cringe several times in this book) when he suffers one painful indignity after another.
I nominate the parasite for nastiest whatever I have ever encountered in a horror novel. Not sure what exactly the bugger is, but he is 100% unpleasantness.
If you like Andrew Mayhem, you will love this book. If you haven't read any of the Mayhem series, get it anyway. Fun, horrifying, and filled with witty one-liners. High theater of the absurd. 4.5 stars.
I nominate the parasite for nastiest whatever I have ever encountered in a horror novel. Not sure what exactly the bugger is, but he is 100% unpleasantness.
If you like Andrew Mayhem, you will love this book. If you haven't read any of the Mayhem series, get it anyway. Fun, horrifying, and filled with witty one-liners. High theater of the absurd. 4.5 stars.
August 27, 2016
Benjamin Wilson is a teacher at the local High School and a bit of a smart ass. He also has a secret government experimental parasite crawling around in his guts that he should get removed before it decides to chew its way out. Alas poor Benjamin gets kidnapped during the removal surgery procedure and now there are lots of people who want a hold of that parasite. Benjamin doesn't want it, but he doesn't want to die to have to hand it over either and his day is about to really crazy. The only way this could get worse is to run across some inbred redneck psychos ...oh, sh*t...Let the games begin...
Another Strand classic! Fast paced and funny and full of Strand-action! Highly Recommended!!
Another Strand classic! Fast paced and funny and full of Strand-action! Highly Recommended!!
March 18, 2017
Wonderfully funny and gory... omg, sometimes I couldn't believe what I was reading. If it was possible to read with my hands over my eyes I would have done just that during the last 25% of the book. Loved it.
April 12, 2017
Another fine horror comedy by Jeff Strand!
I have really been enjoying what Jeff Strand writes. It appeals to my morbid weirdo side, while still feeling like a fun adventure. There are aspects that are meant to be funny and he manages to fit it in well with whatever horrible event is going on.
This book takes us on a pretty wild adventure with Benjamin. Benjamin is infected with a lab-created parasite accidentally and the lab isn't the only group interested in the parasite. Benjamin is a real fuddy duddy kind of guy, at the beginning and it was a lot of fun watching him develop as the story progressed.
Normally, it takes a lot for a book to make me literally squirm in my seat because of how squeamish it made me feel. This book is one of the rare few to do that to me. If you're squeamish about , be prepared to squirm!
Reading books by Jeff Strand is a lot of fun, there really is no other way to put it. I've made the comparison to Edgar Wright/Simon Pegg and Jeff Strand before, but it continually applies, in my opinion. Their movies are just pure fun for me and the same is true of Jeff Strand books. They don't take themselves super seriously, but still end up with something that is really great and worthy of attention.
I have really been enjoying what Jeff Strand writes. It appeals to my morbid weirdo side, while still feeling like a fun adventure. There are aspects that are meant to be funny and he manages to fit it in well with whatever horrible event is going on.
This book takes us on a pretty wild adventure with Benjamin. Benjamin is infected with a lab-created parasite accidentally and the lab isn't the only group interested in the parasite. Benjamin is a real fuddy duddy kind of guy, at the beginning and it was a lot of fun watching him develop as the story progressed.
Normally, it takes a lot for a book to make me literally squirm in my seat because of how squeamish it made me feel. This book is one of the rare few to do that to me. If you're squeamish about , be prepared to squirm!
Reading books by Jeff Strand is a lot of fun, there really is no other way to put it. I've made the comparison to Edgar Wright/Simon Pegg and Jeff Strand before, but it continually applies, in my opinion. Their movies are just pure fun for me and the same is true of Jeff Strand books. They don't take themselves super seriously, but still end up with something that is really great and worthy of attention.
December 21, 2018
Disgusting!
I have never been so disgusted, yet entertained, by a book in my life. So sorry for Benjamin’s experience and glad I read this book.
I have never been so disgusted, yet entertained, by a book in my life. So sorry for Benjamin’s experience and glad I read this book.
January 11, 2021
3.5 Enjoyable and humorous read with a bit of gross.I look forward to reading more Strand.
November 11, 2021
I've read half a dozen Jeff Strand novels now and have yet to be disappointed. Equal parts scary, gross and funny, this one was a really fun read.
May 1, 2010
There may well never have been a bigger understatement in the history of official book summaries than the one which accompanies Benjamin’s Parasite by Jeff Strand:
“At any given moment, the human body contains millions of parasites. This is the story of just one. A really, really nasty one.”
Combining horror and comedy in such a way that neither overpowers the other is a delicate operation, but it’s something Strand has demonstrated time and again he is a master of doing with surgical precision. And you gotta know when a book starts with a meat cleaver rampage that things can only go in one direction intensity wise, and Strand doesn’t disappoint.
After attending the funeral of one of his students, the perpetrator of the meat cleaver rampage in fact, high school teacher Benjamin Wilson begins to feel, well… odd. At first the changes affecting Benjamin are merely an inconvenience; namely, the inability to control his cravings for sex and candy. But hey, how can more sex and candy really be a bad thing, right? But there are also stomach pains, which Benjamin initially writes off as the result of the massive candy consumption.
Except that the pains don’t go away when he goes cold turkey on the candy, they actually get worse. Considerably worse. So much so that, after collapsing at work with incapacitating pain, Benjamin ends up in the hospital where he receives the news he has an intestinal parasite… one that x-rays reveal looks like “a squid monster” much to Benjamin’s horror. Surgical removal being the only option, Benjamin is prepped for surgery and whisked to the OR. And this, folks, is where business picks up and things go seriously awry.
Kidnapped from the OR at gunpoint by a female bounty hunter named Julie who’s been hired to bring him back to the secret lab that created the parasite, Benjamin quickly finds himself in a downwardly spiraling succession of events. After a high speed car chase Benjamin is kidnapped from his kidnapper by a pair of hitmen brothers whose extreme incompetence would be funny if they weren’t also bent on extreme violence. Reacquired by Julie, Benjamin endures a disturbingly Deliverance-esque side trip, an increasingly aggressive parasite that Benjamin comes to believe is actually communicating with him, an airplane/skydiving sequence worthy of James Bond, and a mutant, rampaging Franken-cow (yes, you read that correctly) as the story rockets along to its diabolically demented conclusion.
Jeff Strand is the author of over a dozen books, including the Bram Stoker Award nominated Pressure (review below), The Sinister Mr. Corpse, and the outstanding Andrew Mayhem series, and Strand has delivered yet another masterpiece in Benjamin’s Parasite.
“At any given moment, the human body contains millions of parasites. This is the story of just one. A really, really nasty one.”
Combining horror and comedy in such a way that neither overpowers the other is a delicate operation, but it’s something Strand has demonstrated time and again he is a master of doing with surgical precision. And you gotta know when a book starts with a meat cleaver rampage that things can only go in one direction intensity wise, and Strand doesn’t disappoint.
After attending the funeral of one of his students, the perpetrator of the meat cleaver rampage in fact, high school teacher Benjamin Wilson begins to feel, well… odd. At first the changes affecting Benjamin are merely an inconvenience; namely, the inability to control his cravings for sex and candy. But hey, how can more sex and candy really be a bad thing, right? But there are also stomach pains, which Benjamin initially writes off as the result of the massive candy consumption.
Except that the pains don’t go away when he goes cold turkey on the candy, they actually get worse. Considerably worse. So much so that, after collapsing at work with incapacitating pain, Benjamin ends up in the hospital where he receives the news he has an intestinal parasite… one that x-rays reveal looks like “a squid monster” much to Benjamin’s horror. Surgical removal being the only option, Benjamin is prepped for surgery and whisked to the OR. And this, folks, is where business picks up and things go seriously awry.
Kidnapped from the OR at gunpoint by a female bounty hunter named Julie who’s been hired to bring him back to the secret lab that created the parasite, Benjamin quickly finds himself in a downwardly spiraling succession of events. After a high speed car chase Benjamin is kidnapped from his kidnapper by a pair of hitmen brothers whose extreme incompetence would be funny if they weren’t also bent on extreme violence. Reacquired by Julie, Benjamin endures a disturbingly Deliverance-esque side trip, an increasingly aggressive parasite that Benjamin comes to believe is actually communicating with him, an airplane/skydiving sequence worthy of James Bond, and a mutant, rampaging Franken-cow (yes, you read that correctly) as the story rockets along to its diabolically demented conclusion.
Jeff Strand is the author of over a dozen books, including the Bram Stoker Award nominated Pressure (review below), The Sinister Mr. Corpse, and the outstanding Andrew Mayhem series, and Strand has delivered yet another masterpiece in Benjamin’s Parasite.
May 15, 2009
Jeff Strand's novel, Benjamin's Parasite, starts off with a teenage boy, Brian, going through a series of strange events (yes, even strange for a teenage boy) that ultimately land him getting shot in the end. At Brian's funeral, his teacher, Benjamin Wilson, shows up to pay his respects and notices that Brian's body appears to have exhaled! He leans in closer and sure enough... he feels a gust of air hit him in the face! This would be enough to freak anyone out, but Benjamin tries to keep his cool and get out of the funeral home without causing a scene and avoids saying anything to anyone. Over the next several weeks however he starts getting several strange cravings and the next thing he knows he has a spell at school that lands him in the hospital. While in the hospital he gets "abducted" and soon finds out that this person isn't the only person that is after him. He learns that he is actually hosting a parasite that is of interest to several parties. Unfortunately for Benjamin, he doesn't know who has his best interest in mind so he isn't sure which person to trust in this situation where he is being fought over and is being pulled back and forth a lot. The question is... will he and/or the parasite come out alive at the end of the chase?
This is probably Strand's fastest paced book yet and is a lot of fun to read. It is full of action with the struggle between all parties involved within the book. In true Jeff Strand style there is also a ton of laughs to go around so his fans will not be disappointed. In particular, there is a scene where Benjamin visits a hardware store and has some very strange ideas that I just wouldn't believe anyone would even consider, but... Strand did! In addition to the humor, there are also the typical gory scenes that Strand always spaces out so perfectly to not disgust the readers TOO much. There are also dramatic scenes in the book that will allow the reader to sympathize with characters... especially a particular turtle name Tortie. Plus there is a feel for a bit of romance within the book as well! So... Strand really went all out with this book and crossed a bit of all genres. Highly recommended!
Contains: Violence, Mild Gore
(Review also posted on MonsterLibrarian.Com)
This is probably Strand's fastest paced book yet and is a lot of fun to read. It is full of action with the struggle between all parties involved within the book. In true Jeff Strand style there is also a ton of laughs to go around so his fans will not be disappointed. In particular, there is a scene where Benjamin visits a hardware store and has some very strange ideas that I just wouldn't believe anyone would even consider, but... Strand did! In addition to the humor, there are also the typical gory scenes that Strand always spaces out so perfectly to not disgust the readers TOO much. There are also dramatic scenes in the book that will allow the reader to sympathize with characters... especially a particular turtle name Tortie. Plus there is a feel for a bit of romance within the book as well! So... Strand really went all out with this book and crossed a bit of all genres. Highly recommended!
Contains: Violence, Mild Gore
(Review also posted on MonsterLibrarian.Com)
October 23, 2015
It has been a long time since I have plowed through a book this quickly. I have been a fan of Jeff Strand for some time but this one just kept me enthralled from start to finish. It is sick, funny, brilliantly written and excellently paced. I highly recommend it.
September 26, 2017
Another crazy, fun read by Strand!
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