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Romany and Tom: A Memoir
Longlisted for the Samuel Johnson Prize for Non-Fiction 2014
Ben Watt's father was a working-class Glaswegian jazz musician-a politicized left-wing bandleader and composer-whose heyday in the late 1950s took him into the glittering heart of London's West End. His mother, Romany, the daughter of a Methodist parson, was a Shakespearean actress who had triplets in her first marriage before becoming a leading showbiz feature writer and columnist in the '60s and '70s. They were both divorced and from very different backgrounds, and they came together at a fateful New Year's Day party in 1957 like colliding trains.
Romany and Tom is Ben Watt's honest, sometimes painful, and often funny portrait of his parents' exceptional lives and marriage, depicted in a personal journey from his own wide-eyed London childhood, through years as an adult with children and a career of his own, to that inevitable point when we must assume responsibility for our own parents in their old age. Spanning several decades-and drawing on a rich seam of family letters, souvenirs, photographs, public archives, and personal memories-it is a vivid story of the postwar years, ambition and stardom, family roots and secrets, big band jazz, depression and drink, life in clubs and nursing homes. It is also about who we are, where we come from, and how we love and live with one another for the long term.
Ben Watt's father was a working-class Glaswegian jazz musician-a politicized left-wing bandleader and composer-whose heyday in the late 1950s took him into the glittering heart of London's West End. His mother, Romany, the daughter of a Methodist parson, was a Shakespearean actress who had triplets in her first marriage before becoming a leading showbiz feature writer and columnist in the '60s and '70s. They were both divorced and from very different backgrounds, and they came together at a fateful New Year's Day party in 1957 like colliding trains.
Romany and Tom is Ben Watt's honest, sometimes painful, and often funny portrait of his parents' exceptional lives and marriage, depicted in a personal journey from his own wide-eyed London childhood, through years as an adult with children and a career of his own, to that inevitable point when we must assume responsibility for our own parents in their old age. Spanning several decades-and drawing on a rich seam of family letters, souvenirs, photographs, public archives, and personal memories-it is a vivid story of the postwar years, ambition and stardom, family roots and secrets, big band jazz, depression and drink, life in clubs and nursing homes. It is also about who we are, where we come from, and how we love and live with one another for the long term.
368 pages, Hardcover
First published February 13, 2014
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365 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 41 reviews
May 21, 2015
Ostensibly a biography about Ben Watt’s parents - the titular Romany and Tom - it is actually about much more: families, relationships, memory, class, depression, alcohol, jazz, journalism, identity and nostalgia.
It’s beautifully written and every bit as compelling as a well written thriller.
I came to this having recently finished reading Bedsit Disco Queen: How I Grew Up and Tried to Be a Pop Star by Ben's wife Tracey Thorn - both books are excellent.
5/5
It’s beautifully written and every bit as compelling as a well written thriller.
I came to this having recently finished reading Bedsit Disco Queen: How I Grew Up and Tried to Be a Pop Star by Ben's wife Tracey Thorn - both books are excellent.
5/5
February 17, 2014
Ben Watt is known as one half of Everything But The Girl, but here he recounts the lives of his parents: jazz composer and musician Tom Watt, and Shakespearean actress, turned mother, turned writer and journalist, Romany. From Ben having to take on the grown-up role as his own parents' health deteriorates, to looking back at their careers, their romance, their drinking, their disappointments and their obvious pride in their son's success it is at times nostalgic and sad without being maudlin or dewy-eyed.
There are plenty of recognisable scenes that anyone will be able to empathise with particularly in trying to arrange care for his parents. Then there are many surreal moments in which it is hard to imagine yourself, such as seeing your father come on as a shambolic secret guest on "This Is Your Life" or your mother heading off to meet Richard Burton and Elizabeth Taylor in Mexico. I also found it strange hearing about his father's childhood in Knightswood, Glasgow a few streets away from where I grew up.
I also must add that I enjoyed listening along to the playlist Ben has put up on Spotify of much of the music mentioned in the book (was caught by surprise when "Autum Leaves" came on, as my dad used to sing it to my mum).
It is obviously a very personal book, but I was glad to have found out about these two fascinating people.
There are plenty of recognisable scenes that anyone will be able to empathise with particularly in trying to arrange care for his parents. Then there are many surreal moments in which it is hard to imagine yourself, such as seeing your father come on as a shambolic secret guest on "This Is Your Life" or your mother heading off to meet Richard Burton and Elizabeth Taylor in Mexico. I also found it strange hearing about his father's childhood in Knightswood, Glasgow a few streets away from where I grew up.
I also must add that I enjoyed listening along to the playlist Ben has put up on Spotify of much of the music mentioned in the book (was caught by surprise when "Autum Leaves" came on, as my dad used to sing it to my mum).
It is obviously a very personal book, but I was glad to have found out about these two fascinating people.
July 21, 2015
As I may have mentioned before, I feel a curious affinity with Ben Watt. That doesn't mean that I particularly wanted to read about his parents - the 'biography of my parents' is a curious literary sub-genre in my eyes; the story would have to be particularly compelling to make me pick it up. Indeed, there are writers on my shelves - Roddy Doyle, for example - whose entire output is represented, save for Rory & Ita.
However.
On the eternal drive to Penticton the other week, I listened to a podcast in which Ben Watt read from, and explained, this book. It rang so many bells with me (we are almost exactly the same age, and many of the same concerns have braided themselves around my life in the last few months and years) that I downloaded it as soon as we got to the hotel, and began reading it that night.
It is a curious thing, this getting older business. We don't mean to do it, but we become something we weren't, and in many cases, something we intended not to be. How do we get from there to here, from teenaged revolutionaries to middle-aged parents with cars and mortgages and teenaged revolutionaries of our own? We don't do it deliberately; it just happens to us. Worse, while we are doing that, our parents are morphing from vital, energetic, important people into curmudgeonly, tired, old people.
In my case, I vividly remember the struggles my parents had with their own parents, imploring us to "shoot us if we ever get like that". Yet they do get like that, and we cope the best we can, resolving never to do that to our children, knowing in some part of us that we inevitably will.
Watt's parents were, perhaps, more revolutionary, more tempestuous, than most (there again, perhaps not; perhaps the key difference was that they acted on their impulses where most didn't) - having risked so much to be together, they appear in some respects to have been bound together until the end, whatever that end might be. The story of this book is not just the tale of that end coming to pass, but an attempt to put it all into context; to understand how these two people came to be like this, and how it became impossible for them to change the way they were.
And it is compelling. Watt's extraordinary eidetic memory illustrates every page, and his facility with language (you should read Patient: The True Story of a Rare Illness as well; it's as taut as any thriller) keeps the story moving as it skips from generation to generation. All human life is here, laid bare for our inspection, but it never feels voyeuristic; these are real, sympathetic characters and a real, human story to which we all can (or will, in time) relate.
In the end, it's the way I related on a personal level to this story which elevates it above the norm. As Watt describes his father's depression, I found myself nodding in recognition; when the depression comes full circle towards the end, I found the room becoming a little dusty - rarely have I felt such a powerful urge to reach out and hug the author of a book and tell him that everything's going to be OK.
The best book I read last year was by a musician from my formative years about her life and her unexpectedly vivid insights into the human condition (Clothes, Clothes, Clothes. Music, Music, Music. Boys, Boys, Boys.). This might well make it two in a row.
However.
On the eternal drive to Penticton the other week, I listened to a podcast in which Ben Watt read from, and explained, this book. It rang so many bells with me (we are almost exactly the same age, and many of the same concerns have braided themselves around my life in the last few months and years) that I downloaded it as soon as we got to the hotel, and began reading it that night.
It is a curious thing, this getting older business. We don't mean to do it, but we become something we weren't, and in many cases, something we intended not to be. How do we get from there to here, from teenaged revolutionaries to middle-aged parents with cars and mortgages and teenaged revolutionaries of our own? We don't do it deliberately; it just happens to us. Worse, while we are doing that, our parents are morphing from vital, energetic, important people into curmudgeonly, tired, old people.
In my case, I vividly remember the struggles my parents had with their own parents, imploring us to "shoot us if we ever get like that". Yet they do get like that, and we cope the best we can, resolving never to do that to our children, knowing in some part of us that we inevitably will.
Watt's parents were, perhaps, more revolutionary, more tempestuous, than most (there again, perhaps not; perhaps the key difference was that they acted on their impulses where most didn't) - having risked so much to be together, they appear in some respects to have been bound together until the end, whatever that end might be. The story of this book is not just the tale of that end coming to pass, but an attempt to put it all into context; to understand how these two people came to be like this, and how it became impossible for them to change the way they were.
And it is compelling. Watt's extraordinary eidetic memory illustrates every page, and his facility with language (you should read Patient: The True Story of a Rare Illness as well; it's as taut as any thriller) keeps the story moving as it skips from generation to generation. All human life is here, laid bare for our inspection, but it never feels voyeuristic; these are real, sympathetic characters and a real, human story to which we all can (or will, in time) relate.
In the end, it's the way I related on a personal level to this story which elevates it above the norm. As Watt describes his father's depression, I found myself nodding in recognition; when the depression comes full circle towards the end, I found the room becoming a little dusty - rarely have I felt such a powerful urge to reach out and hug the author of a book and tell him that everything's going to be OK.
The best book I read last year was by a musician from my formative years about her life and her unexpectedly vivid insights into the human condition (Clothes, Clothes, Clothes. Music, Music, Music. Boys, Boys, Boys.). This might well make it two in a row.
January 21, 2020
A lovely touching memoir of a marriage, but so much more as well.
This was a great read.
This was a great read.
August 16, 2018
Beautifully written was a great read
November 7, 2014
Musician Ben Watt, best known as being one half of Everything but the Girl, tells the story of his mum, his dad, and his family from his perspective.
This is not an easy read, but extremely rewarding.
His mother, Romany, was an actress who went on to be a magazine columnist, and his father, Tom, was a musician and bandleader. This meticulously researched book takes us through the ups and many downs of their relationship, beset as it was with alcoholism, mental illness and career disappointments. To most of us, having parents who are jetting round the world to interview superstars, or leading orchestras on television would be quite surreal; but these were normal for Ben Watt as he was growing up. That he went on to arguably outshine both his parents is a theme that might have been explored more in the book, as might the circle of fading fame, alcoholism and mental illness. Maybe these are themes Ben Watt may revisit some time - he is such a brilliant writer, we can only hope he pens many more books in years to come.
Towards the end of the book, there is quite a heart stopping revelation by the author, which adds even greater depth and perspective to the whole story.
At no stage is this book light and easy to read - indeed, the majority of the book is extremely harrowing given the various challenges the family had to face over the years. But if it's harrowing, it's very deep as well, asking many fundamental questions about family, love, life and inevitable death. The stories are told with a very deft touch- many of us are familiar with Ben Watt's first book "Patient" where he tells the story of how he almost succumbed to illness some 20 years ago- and this book too is beautifully written, doesn't pull any punches and is a very honest and illuminating look at family life.
This is not an easy read, but extremely rewarding.
His mother, Romany, was an actress who went on to be a magazine columnist, and his father, Tom, was a musician and bandleader. This meticulously researched book takes us through the ups and many downs of their relationship, beset as it was with alcoholism, mental illness and career disappointments. To most of us, having parents who are jetting round the world to interview superstars, or leading orchestras on television would be quite surreal; but these were normal for Ben Watt as he was growing up. That he went on to arguably outshine both his parents is a theme that might have been explored more in the book, as might the circle of fading fame, alcoholism and mental illness. Maybe these are themes Ben Watt may revisit some time - he is such a brilliant writer, we can only hope he pens many more books in years to come.
Towards the end of the book, there is quite a heart stopping revelation by the author, which adds even greater depth and perspective to the whole story.
At no stage is this book light and easy to read - indeed, the majority of the book is extremely harrowing given the various challenges the family had to face over the years. But if it's harrowing, it's very deep as well, asking many fundamental questions about family, love, life and inevitable death. The stories are told with a very deft touch- many of us are familiar with Ben Watt's first book "Patient" where he tells the story of how he almost succumbed to illness some 20 years ago- and this book too is beautifully written, doesn't pull any punches and is a very honest and illuminating look at family life.
August 8, 2016
I listened to the audio of this book, narrated by Ben himself. Initially I struggled to persevere - I found it a little slow and found some of the descriptions of places, sounds, smells quite laboured. Gradually however I was pulled in and began to care deeply about Romany, Tom and Ben. Descriptions later in the book about the mental health challenges experienced by several members of the family rang very true and the sometimes unlikeable qualities of Romany and Tom started to make sense in the context of their own family histories. In the end the book felt like a fitting, moving tribute to Ben's loving but flawed parents.
February 27, 2016
Always engaging. It is about a number of things; a marriage, getting older, trying to understand the past, and coming to terms with the good and bad in others. Ben Watt is a good writer, and his approach of moving between time periods and bringing bits of the story out in a non chronological order really works. The approach makes the book more interesting, but also emphasises that life is composed of fragments and sometimes we need to go back and forth in time to try and make sense of what our experiences are telling us.
October 28, 2021
We only ever see the second half of our parents' lives - the downhill part. The golden years we have to piece together. It's hard to think of our parents as young - or maybe I mean young adults - when everything stretched out in front of them and was possible. The versions of them that we see and judge every day have been shaped by experiences they've had, but which we have never known: the times they were hurt; the days they won; the times they were compromised. For so much of it, we were simply not there.
Ben Watts prefaces this memoir of his parents, Romany and Tom, with this paragraph - and it's an excellent reminder, from the outset, of the limitations of a child's ability to ever completely know his parents. Watt seems to be reminding himself, and also his readers, that a memoir is ever only one's person's reconstruction or 'version' of a complicated story; and in this case, made more complicated because he is attempting to not only capture his parents, in their singularity, but also the dynamics of their long marriage.
His subjects are interesting people: they have both achieved distinction in their professional lives, and they have lived - if not at the centre, then certainly in something better than the margins - of the cultural world of post-war London. Tom Watt was a working-class Glaswegian and a precociously talented pianist and bandleader whose 'Tommy Watt Orchestra' enjoyed considerable success in the late 1950s and early 1960s - before rock and roll killed the jazz scene. Romany Bain was a RADA trained actress and then for 20 years a feature writer known for her 'showbusiness' interviews. Romany was descended from one of the most prominent British Romani clans, and her father, George Bramwell Evans, was famous for being one of the BBC's first wildlife programme presenters. Those are just the taglines, though of course they do add interest and lustre to the family story. I assume that most people who end up reading this book will also be aware of Ben Watt's fame - mostly because of being one half of the band Everything but the Girl.
Fame and ambition - and more importantly, their thwarted aspects - do play a role in the dynamics of this marriage, but the fact that both Romany and Tom had been married before, and left those marriages to be together, is also key to their particular marriage story. Ben is their one child together, and in many ways he both enjoyed and suffered from 'only child' status; but that role is certainly complicated by the fact that he has four older half-siblings from his mother's first marriage. (The younger three were triplets - such an unusual occurrence, that they were featured in various newspaper and magazine articles.) By the time Ben is old enough to be aware of his parents' marriage, he is aware of the tensions in it. His father's excessive drinking is part of the dynamic, and later becomes something that his parents do together. As his parents age, and begin suffering from bad health, their marriage seems like more of a claustrophobic cage than anything else. You sense that their son wants to understand a fuller picture of their marriage - to go back to its passionate and hopeful beginnings - just to find the missing piece that explains why the marriage has endured despite it all.
So far, the book's title and my review both imply that this book is about a marriage - and that's certainly true to a point. It's certainly about a son trying to understand his parents, and to uncover aspects of their lives together which had been obscured or hidden from him as he was growing up. But in a larger sense, this book is about a son coming to terms with his parents' old age and death. Much of the book is taken up with the awkward exchange of roles which occurs when a child is forced to take responsibility for his parents. Ben Watt details the frustration, pity, discomfort and inconvenience of 'looking after' - or organising other people to look after - ageing parents who can no longer take care of themselves. Although the narrative goes back and forth in time, it always returns to the present reality as its baseline: and that part of the story is really more about Ben than his parents. While Romany and Tom's story is specific to them, and to a cultural place and time, the overarching narrative of ageing parents and care-taking has a universal, albeit hugely melancholy, appeal.
I think that Ben Watt genuinely does want to honour his parents' lives - which were so much more than just the meagre sum of their later years - but clearly he also wrote this book for the therapeutic value of it. It can be grim subject matter at times, and although I believe that its natural audience is probably those who can most readily relate to it, the ability to relate will in fact make the book's painful aspects more acute. He is a wonderful writer, though - with a gift for precise description - and that certainly sweetens what is overall a painfully melancholy reading experience.
October 22, 2018
I read Ben Watt's 'Patient', about a serious physical illness he had in his early thirties and enjoyed; that has held up for this book about his parents, their ageing and his father's death, their relationship, their achievements, disappointments, and their parenting. I'm of similar age to the author, my parents of the same generation as his. Thought-provoking for me at this time in my life, but I can see the appeal if I had read when younger, although not as early as my twenties as I just would not have appreciated thinking about my parents in this way at that time. Ben brings a balanced view between seeing one's parents as parents, but also simply as other human beings with their strengths, foibles and weaknesses, their life stories, passions and struggles. In addition, his description of his father's alcoholism and the influence within the family and in his parent's relationship is insightful.
Be prepared though. These are not 'average' parents: a talented, frustrated and ultimately despairing jazz musician and band leader, and a mother with a potentially good acting career ahead of her, and a renowned UK journalist. These qualities are central to their lives. But they do not diminish the influence of growing up in the UK in the nineteen thirties and maturing into adulthood in the nineteen forties/fifties, and the social and family expectations of the time.
Be prepared though. These are not 'average' parents: a talented, frustrated and ultimately despairing jazz musician and band leader, and a mother with a potentially good acting career ahead of her, and a renowned UK journalist. These qualities are central to their lives. But they do not diminish the influence of growing up in the UK in the nineteen thirties and maturing into adulthood in the nineteen forties/fifties, and the social and family expectations of the time.
September 21, 2017
One of the main things I noticed about this book whilst reading it is how focused Ben Watt is about telling his parents' story. That might sound a bit obvious given that it is a book about them and their lives but what I mean is how unselfish he is in telling their story. Rarely does he talk about his "main" career as a musician or DJ and when he does it is an essential part of the tale.
Romany And Tom is a very honest book, warts and all in telling the story about age, depression, alcoholism, family and ultimately death.
The chapter detailing Tommy's death was particularly moving but there are also some laugh out loud moments. A book written with care about two people the author obviously dotes on.
Would thoroughly recommend.
Romany And Tom is a very honest book, warts and all in telling the story about age, depression, alcoholism, family and ultimately death.
The chapter detailing Tommy's death was particularly moving but there are also some laugh out loud moments. A book written with care about two people the author obviously dotes on.
Would thoroughly recommend.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
April 28, 2022
Wonderfully written by Watt who has a real knack for details. His parents really come alive as people with a volatile loving relationship. This is an example of a memoir that can teach about life: it taught me that the 40s are the decade where all of a persons idiosyncratic decisions, hangups, addictions make the rest of their life. It shows this with his parents who you see radiant and in mad love as young people then through the decades become resentful, bewildered, and barely recognizable couple (and in the case of his father an alcoholic). Watt is typical with the English reserve, never sinking into melodrama or manipulative heart string tugs. A wonderful memoir that almost has nothing to do with music which is astounding as Ben Watt is famous for being a musician in EBTG.
June 7, 2019
Acquired downstairs in Books Upstairs, where they have a selection of bargain reads, these are memories and stories from Ben Watt, ostensibly about his parents but also about himself.
"I was quite interesting once," remarks his elderly mother at one point. Indeed she was, and the story of her affair with "a small melancholy man from Glasgow" (the "complete cessation of which [was]... too drastic and cruel for ordinary mortals") could form the heart of a fine novella. As it is, this felt a little self-absorbed (a quality projected onto his father) and unreliable narrated, but nevertheless impressive - I kept imagining Romany and Tom's views on their son appearing in the margins.
"I was quite interesting once," remarks his elderly mother at one point. Indeed she was, and the story of her affair with "a small melancholy man from Glasgow" (the "complete cessation of which [was]... too drastic and cruel for ordinary mortals") could form the heart of a fine novella. As it is, this felt a little self-absorbed (a quality projected onto his father) and unreliable narrated, but nevertheless impressive - I kept imagining Romany and Tom's views on their son appearing in the margins.
September 6, 2018
Ben Watt's tells the story of the physical and mental decline of both of his parents while also trying to understand who his parents were. In the last years of their marriage they seemed unhappy and their marriage suffered from dashed dreams and unrealized ambitions that Watt's tries to uncover and understand. Watt is a solid writer and his parents are interesting people so following their and his journey is a good read and also makes one curious about one's own parents. What were their passions? What were their dreams?
May 26, 2017
Only three stars? Well maybe I have been over marking on some previous reads! Ben Watts writes an engaging and heart-felt account of his relationship with his parents. Parents who's lives turn out to be more interesting and public than the average.
It brings into light the complications of relationship and diversion of our views of those we love as our lives and dependencies change.
It brings into light the complications of relationship and diversion of our views of those we love as our lives and dependencies change.
March 23, 2017
Ben Watt schreef een prachtig boek over zijn ouders. Hij vertelt heel filmisch over het leven van zijn vader en moeder en komt recht uit zijn hart. Het is emotioneel, herkenbaar en triest zonder dat het over de top gaat. Aanrader. Hopelijk vind ik heel snel zijn eerste boek terug dat hij schreef over zijn eigen ziekte in 1992.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
September 24, 2020
Perhaps I’m underscoring this book. It is beautifully written, thought provoking and a fascinating insight into what it is to grow old. I just wasn’t gripped by it. Though I suspect the thoughts it has provoked will continue to pop up and make me reflect again and again.
February 17, 2023
Not one for memoirs but this is a great read.Despite the underlying melancholy Id Recommend to any middle aged folk with elderly parents and the trials of helping those we love in the twilight of their years
June 6, 2023
I was a little afraid to read this book and 4 pages in I was already crying! I persevered and thoroughly enjoyed it. It wasn't all sad but quite funny in places and a wonderful tribute to his parents.
January 20, 2018
This book was difficult at times to get into and seemed muddle. However, there are may aspects of this book that I related to and it definitely developed a very personal story.
October 9, 2019
A bit long and it definitely loses some steam in the middle.
May 5, 2020
Moving, frank and funny memoir on how to cope when your parents get old.
March 2, 2016
There comes a time when we are forced to see our parents as actual human beings, and not just our parents. And we also have to face the fact our parents are getting older and will soon leave us with nothing but memories. Musician, songwriter and author Ben Watt not only experiences both these issues but writes about them in his memoir Romany and Tom.
Without a doubt most music fans have heard of the multi-talented Mr. Watt. Along with his wife, Tracey Thorn, he been at the helm of the pop duo Everything But the Girl for several decades. But he is also an immensely gifted writer. His earlier memoir Patient, Watt chronicled his near-death struggle with Chugg-Strauss syndrome. Now his focus is on his parents, and what a tale he has to tell.
When God made Romany and Tom Watt, he definitely broke the molds. Tom Watt was a charming rascal, a jazz musician and band leader who enjoyed a brief but notable amount of success until pop and rock began to steal the aural leanings of the listening public.
Romany was a Shakespearean actress who later turned her talents to writing becoming a notable journalist chronicling the gossipy going-ons of various celebrities. She was also a fallen woman, a divorcee, who had three children before she met and married Tom and had Ben.
Romany and Tom begins just as Watt’s parents are facing the inevitable-the end of their lives. In rich detail, Watt describes the physical and mental frailties of Romany and Tom, the slips and falls in the bathroom that leaves the elder Mr. Watt badly hurt and Romany completely befuddled on how to call for an ambulance. While reading these passages, I could actually envision these two once hale and hearty people decaying and feeling a great deal of empathy towards them and Watt as he attended to their care.
While dealing with his parents Watt also had to come into terms with his own rather less than orthodox childhood and his parents’ odd marriage. Sure, to a woman like myself, Watt’s childhood seemed positively glamorous! His father was a musician and his mum got to hang out with Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton (and got paid to do it). But to young Ben, it was just a part of life in the Watt household. His parents also faced career setbacks and perished dreams, which often put a damper on the Watt household vibe, particularly the Watt marriage.
And it is once Romany and Tom are older that it is not just their physical and mental states the younger Watt has to deal with, it’s also their feelings for each other. Let’s just say it’s much easier to herd cats than it is to manage the tangled web of anger, love, sadness and other emotional entanglements of marriage that is not one’s one. But somehow Watt does it without puffing himself as a hero or making a himself a martyr. It’s just a part of life. There is pain, but there is also beauty in a reality a majority of us will face (if we’re not facing it already).
To say this memoir was at time a difficult and an uneasy read is putting it mildly. At times I had to put Romany and Tom down because it made me face the concept and brutal certainty of getting older. And I know it must have been very difficult for Watt to face the demise of his larger than life parents swallowed up by the physical and mental desiccation that occurs during the twilight of one’s lives.
Yet, Ben never expresses pity towards his parents, nor does he wallow in pity for himself and his parental predicament. Romany and Tom is both beautifully truthful and truthfully beautiful, and once again, Watt proves to be a masterful writer of both music and memoirs. I can only imagine what other books Watt might write in the future. And I hope he does. In an age where D-listers and reality show cretins get book deals, it is comfort to have a celeb that actually deserves one. Bravo, Ben, bravo!
Originally Published at The Book Self:
https://thebookselfblog.wordpress.com...
Without a doubt most music fans have heard of the multi-talented Mr. Watt. Along with his wife, Tracey Thorn, he been at the helm of the pop duo Everything But the Girl for several decades. But he is also an immensely gifted writer. His earlier memoir Patient, Watt chronicled his near-death struggle with Chugg-Strauss syndrome. Now his focus is on his parents, and what a tale he has to tell.
When God made Romany and Tom Watt, he definitely broke the molds. Tom Watt was a charming rascal, a jazz musician and band leader who enjoyed a brief but notable amount of success until pop and rock began to steal the aural leanings of the listening public.
Romany was a Shakespearean actress who later turned her talents to writing becoming a notable journalist chronicling the gossipy going-ons of various celebrities. She was also a fallen woman, a divorcee, who had three children before she met and married Tom and had Ben.
Romany and Tom begins just as Watt’s parents are facing the inevitable-the end of their lives. In rich detail, Watt describes the physical and mental frailties of Romany and Tom, the slips and falls in the bathroom that leaves the elder Mr. Watt badly hurt and Romany completely befuddled on how to call for an ambulance. While reading these passages, I could actually envision these two once hale and hearty people decaying and feeling a great deal of empathy towards them and Watt as he attended to their care.
While dealing with his parents Watt also had to come into terms with his own rather less than orthodox childhood and his parents’ odd marriage. Sure, to a woman like myself, Watt’s childhood seemed positively glamorous! His father was a musician and his mum got to hang out with Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton (and got paid to do it). But to young Ben, it was just a part of life in the Watt household. His parents also faced career setbacks and perished dreams, which often put a damper on the Watt household vibe, particularly the Watt marriage.
And it is once Romany and Tom are older that it is not just their physical and mental states the younger Watt has to deal with, it’s also their feelings for each other. Let’s just say it’s much easier to herd cats than it is to manage the tangled web of anger, love, sadness and other emotional entanglements of marriage that is not one’s one. But somehow Watt does it without puffing himself as a hero or making a himself a martyr. It’s just a part of life. There is pain, but there is also beauty in a reality a majority of us will face (if we’re not facing it already).
To say this memoir was at time a difficult and an uneasy read is putting it mildly. At times I had to put Romany and Tom down because it made me face the concept and brutal certainty of getting older. And I know it must have been very difficult for Watt to face the demise of his larger than life parents swallowed up by the physical and mental desiccation that occurs during the twilight of one’s lives.
Yet, Ben never expresses pity towards his parents, nor does he wallow in pity for himself and his parental predicament. Romany and Tom is both beautifully truthful and truthfully beautiful, and once again, Watt proves to be a masterful writer of both music and memoirs. I can only imagine what other books Watt might write in the future. And I hope he does. In an age where D-listers and reality show cretins get book deals, it is comfort to have a celeb that actually deserves one. Bravo, Ben, bravo!
Originally Published at The Book Self:
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November 27, 2014
Ben Watt, one half of Everything But The Girl, follows the other half, Tracey Thorn, his personal and professional partner, whose memoir Bedsit Disco Queen was one of last year's better non-fiction bestsellers. And it's a strange and melancholy experience which gives a clue to the source of some of his more deadpan compositions.
The son of big band leader Tommy Watt and showbiz writer Romany Evens whose father had been a media personality in the early days of broadcasting, Watt's upbringing could not have been more different from Thorn's prim suburban background. Married late in life, and both with failed marriages behind them, Romany and Tom both gave up things for their marriage and created a barely concealed well of bitterness that persisted beyond death. Bound together by the bottle and a feeling that they both couldn't fail again it was a strange and difficult space for a boy to grow in. Romany had given up her career - she was a RADA alumnus who had been friends with John Gielgud and Peggy Ashcroft - to be a wife and mother when she married Tommy. He, the successful bandleader and jazz arranger saw his career wane - in part due to his stubborn perfectionism - just as his wife started finding a second wind as a journalist and trusted confidante to Burton and Taylor and Sophia Loren in their prime.
It's a sad and at times unedifying tale of sexual jealousy, genteel suburban alcohol abuse, and what happens when talent bumps up against the limitations of career and family. What's puzzling is why Watt, who has often seemed a private chap with a self containment unusual in the music business, has chosen to bare all in this way. As Seinfeld used to say, there's no hugging and no learning. But it's beautifully written and draws one into a certain cheerful misery.
The son of big band leader Tommy Watt and showbiz writer Romany Evens whose father had been a media personality in the early days of broadcasting, Watt's upbringing could not have been more different from Thorn's prim suburban background. Married late in life, and both with failed marriages behind them, Romany and Tom both gave up things for their marriage and created a barely concealed well of bitterness that persisted beyond death. Bound together by the bottle and a feeling that they both couldn't fail again it was a strange and difficult space for a boy to grow in. Romany had given up her career - she was a RADA alumnus who had been friends with John Gielgud and Peggy Ashcroft - to be a wife and mother when she married Tommy. He, the successful bandleader and jazz arranger saw his career wane - in part due to his stubborn perfectionism - just as his wife started finding a second wind as a journalist and trusted confidante to Burton and Taylor and Sophia Loren in their prime.
It's a sad and at times unedifying tale of sexual jealousy, genteel suburban alcohol abuse, and what happens when talent bumps up against the limitations of career and family. What's puzzling is why Watt, who has often seemed a private chap with a self containment unusual in the music business, has chosen to bare all in this way. As Seinfeld used to say, there's no hugging and no learning. But it's beautifully written and draws one into a certain cheerful misery.
April 28, 2014
Ben and his wife Tracey are Everything But the Girl, and as well as talented musicians they both write brilliantly.
This is Ben's biography of his parents, and of course his autobiography too.
Romany, his mother, was also a writer who kept scrapbooks and boxes of letters and journals so Ben has lots of material to use. His Dad was a jazz musician, so we can see where his talents come from.
The character portraits are wonderful, and Ben's reactions and interpretations of his parents' behaviour, both in the past and more recently bring the book to life.
He describes his reluctant plod to school, envying those driving by in the dry and warm. He comments that his parents would not have dreamed of giving him a lift as this would have indulged him. This resounded with me!
Difficult and tragic happenings such as suicide, depression ,divorce and dementia are analysed and discussed.
Photographs are described vividly, but I would have liked to have seen some included in the book.
This is Ben's biography of his parents, and of course his autobiography too.
Romany, his mother, was also a writer who kept scrapbooks and boxes of letters and journals so Ben has lots of material to use. His Dad was a jazz musician, so we can see where his talents come from.
The character portraits are wonderful, and Ben's reactions and interpretations of his parents' behaviour, both in the past and more recently bring the book to life.
He describes his reluctant plod to school, envying those driving by in the dry and warm. He comments that his parents would not have dreamed of giving him a lift as this would have indulged him. This resounded with me!
Difficult and tragic happenings such as suicide, depression ,divorce and dementia are analysed and discussed.
Photographs are described vividly, but I would have liked to have seen some included in the book.
March 22, 2016
Ben Watt was one half of the English pop duo, Everything But The Girl. His wife, Tracey Thorn, was the other. But this isn't a memoir of their lives as musical artists. This is about Watt dealing with his parents, Romany & Tom, as they descend into old age &, eventually, death. While never shying away from the harsh realities it isn't as bleak as that sounds. While his parents' lives - he, a musician; she, an actress & pop culture journalist; both on their 2nd marriages after Romany had already had 4 children including triplets - were unconventional, to say the least, their experiences were universal. Watt tries his best to learn to understand them both as they approach their ends, presumably in an effort to better understand himself. This is a powerful read. Given the subject matter, it's not an easy one. But Watt's sensitivity & sincerity shine through. Anyone who has gone through the process of becoming the oldest generation in a family should get a lot out of this. I did.
September 14, 2014
What a poignant love song this is, to Ben Watts ageing parents In this memoir, musician Ben Watts introduces us to, Romany who starts off as an actress and then becomes a journalist, dashing off to interview Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton abroad, and Tom, her second husband, a jazz band leader who after changing fortunes in music becomes a painter decorator. Fuelled by a fair amount of alcohol, their relationship appears to have its rocky moments with plenty of arguments.
Although it made me sad to read about their decline, the memory loss, the falls, the loneliness and despair, Ben manages to remind us of the fun times they had together, the loving memories that bind a couple together. I do so like a book that succeeds in making me both smile and produce some tears, and this one did this so well.
Although it made me sad to read about their decline, the memory loss, the falls, the loneliness and despair, Ben manages to remind us of the fun times they had together, the loving memories that bind a couple together. I do so like a book that succeeds in making me both smile and produce some tears, and this one did this so well.
May 5, 2015
I started reading this book right after having finished Ben's first book "Patient". I was amazed at how his startlingly sharp yet easy writing style could render a difficult subject so fascinating and warming. Here he has done it again, I had no idea his parents had a certain notoriety but even if they hadn't I think the way he writes would have fleshed them out and given them just as much personality and colour as their evidently larger than life relationship gives them. As before it's the prose and narrative style that makes the book. Again he recounts what could be a simple story but the way he tells it, out of turn, the way memory is never chronological. First this is recalled, then some other anecdote which leads to another story. A letter, a turn of phrase. By the end whole lives are recounted but it's not just the tale, it's the telling.
April 26, 2014
Private & Thought Provoking
This is a very private story. One filled with despair, alcoholism and loneliness. It is very accurate in describing the times of the 60s and the life of stars. The glimmer of hope is how hard the author tries over and over to be the son his parents want not just the one they need. Mr. Watt’s perseverance in not simply walking away from these two selfish individuals is testimony to the kind soul that he is – and yet, you almost want to tell him RUN! The book is about the challenges this family faced and how they survived. NetGalley and Bloomsbury USA provided an advanced review copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
This is a very private story. One filled with despair, alcoholism and loneliness. It is very accurate in describing the times of the 60s and the life of stars. The glimmer of hope is how hard the author tries over and over to be the son his parents want not just the one they need. Mr. Watt’s perseverance in not simply walking away from these two selfish individuals is testimony to the kind soul that he is – and yet, you almost want to tell him RUN! The book is about the challenges this family faced and how they survived. NetGalley and Bloomsbury USA provided an advanced review copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
August 10, 2015
Really enjoyed this book - I was worried it wouldn't live up to my memories of Patient but it was definitely as good.
Part of me wishes I had read it as a physical book, not on my kindle, as there were a lot of times when I wanted to flick back and check up on earlier chapters, and I always find that easier in an "actual" book. But I really enjoyed the way it was written, going backwards and forwards between his parents youth and their dotage, as he tied it all together very well.
My only complaint, and it isn't really a complaint, is that I wish I know what happened to Jennie - but as that isn't really part of the story he doesn't owe us that detail.
Part of me wishes I had read it as a physical book, not on my kindle, as there were a lot of times when I wanted to flick back and check up on earlier chapters, and I always find that easier in an "actual" book. But I really enjoyed the way it was written, going backwards and forwards between his parents youth and their dotage, as he tied it all together very well.
My only complaint, and it isn't really a complaint, is that I wish I know what happened to Jennie - but as that isn't really part of the story he doesn't owe us that detail.
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