Enough: 10 Things We Should Tell Teenage Girls

by Kate Conner

You are beautiful. You are valuable. You are enough.   In a book based on her run-away blog post "Ten Things I Want to Tell Teenage Girls,” which garnered more than 2 million views in two weeks, Kate Conner calls us to action in Enough. We all have teenage girls in our lives who we love, whether it’s a sister, friend, or daughter. Kate has identified 10 things these girls need to hear today from someone who loves her. Peppered with wit and laced with grace, Kate’s list tackles relevant issues like Facebook, emotions, drama, tanning beds, modesty, and flirtation. Woven into each chapter is a powerful message of worth that transcends age, and will touch the souls of women, young and old  You are beautiful. You are valuable. You are enough. A former youth-worker, wife to a college minister, and a young mom in her twenties, Conner stands squarely in generational gap, the perfect place from which to bridge it. Conner offers herself as a translator, helping you to speak your teenager’s language and equipping you with a fresh perspective from which to engage your teenage girl—one that may enable her to truly hear your heart (and your wisdom) for the first time since puberty.

Genres: Parenting, Nonfiction, Christian, Self Help, Faith, Spirituality

224 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2014

About the author

Kate Elizabeth Conner is a 27-year-old writer, speaker, and first generation southerner who spends her days learning braille, counseling teenagers via text message, and adjusting to life in middle Georgia. She is married to a college pastor and has three impossibly beautiful children who only make her crazy 97% of the time. Kate authors a self-titled blog, which received more than three million views in two years, due in part to her viral post, 10 Things I Want To Tell Teenage Girls. Kate writes about surviving parenthood, teenagers, and her twenties with her faith and sense of humor intact. She believes in music, coffee, and prose – and in all the world, nothing has taken hold of her like Christ.

Reviews

[Sara Ella · Rating 5 out of 5]

Why I like and recommend Enough: 10 Things We Should be Telling Teenage Girls…

A) So Kate has this amazing author voice I find so unique and just plain fun. As I was reading this book I was like, “Why didn’t this book exist when I was fifteen? I might actually have listened to my mom then!” Kate has a way of addressing teens that is real and very much in their own language. I was already laughing out loud the first few pages in. Take page five for example:

Women are beautiful and men like to look at them. The sooner we all reckon with this stone-cold reality, the sooner fifteen-year old girls will stop using stupid non sequiturs like, “It’s not my fault I have breasts. Therefore I have the right to buy a prom dress that is missing a torso.” (Just why? Are they tanning at the prom? Jazzerercising?)

See what I mean? Laugh out loud funny (but also true)!

B) I am a sucker for good chapter titles. Kate’s chapter titles in Enough are just perfect. They are humorous (“Neon Purple Leggings”), quirky (“In the Cafeteria With a Megaphone”), and straightforward (“Smoking is Not Cool”). Then there are the subtitles within those chapters. You’ll find headings like “How Not to be a Twit”, “Chronic Overcorrectors”, and “Let Them Eat Bagels”. Kate manages to remain true to herself (and her super popular blog post), while also giving readers (moms and teens alike) a book that is enjoyable and addicting. If I was a teenager, I might not even know I was reading a wake-up call. As a mom, I’m like, “Huh. I can actually say that to my daughters? Good to know.” Suddenly I’m not so afraid of those dreaded teenage years when my babies grow breasts and start asking for the keys to my car (but, that’s never gonna happen, right?).

C) The heart of the matter. Set aside Kate’s humor and stellar writing, and you still have an amazing read. Why? Because Christ is at the center of it all. Throughout Enough, she constantly draws readers back to the main point: being women/girls who please and live for our Savior. I love the way the back cover blurb on Enough describes the book:

Peppered with humor, and laced with grace…

That says it all. Kate wants girls to know that all they need is Christ. That they are “enough” just they way they are. Thanks for writing this book, Kate. It’s going on my keeper shelf.

[Ruth Hill · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am incredibly privileged to have had the opportunity to read this fantastic book. All too often, Christian books written with youth in mind (and women in general)tend to place unnatural, legalistic expectations of the reader. I have read my share of books that do this, and I either feel like the worst Christian on the face of the planet, or I completely discount the book.

I am quite pleased to report that this book is one of the most common-sense Christian youth books I have ever read. In fact, the author is probably more permissive on her entertainment than I am, and that gives me a sense of relief. (No, I'm not judging her. It just makes me feel like I'm on the right path.) The author does not propose laws, rules, and things that don't make sense. She backs up all of her claims with Scripture, and I found myself considering things to which she had alluded in a different way than I had previously. She writes with humor, and it is clear that she knows Christian teenagers well. Granted, I can't identify with absolutely everything because I was never the typical teenager, but she described my preteen daughter to a tee! Generally, I give away books like this, but I'm keeping this one for future reference. My daughter is eleven, and it is never too early to prepare for the teenage years.

I was sent a copy of this book in exchange for my honest review. I was not financially compensated, and all opinions are 100 percent mine.

[Sara · Rating 5 out of 5]

I bought this book after hearing Kate talk about it on Jamie Ivey's podcast. I planned on saving it to read in a few years when my daughter is a teenager. I'm so glad that I didn't wait and read it now. This is a MUST read for every female! Every woman and girl needs to hear and be constantly reminded that they are Enough. "This truth--the scandalous love of God that calls us beautiful and valuable and enough--will rescue them, and us, all over again." I typically don't keep books, but this one will be kept to read again and again and share with everyone I know!

[Becky · Rating 5 out of 5]

Do You Have Enough?

This book contains practical, common sense advice for teenage girls, mixed in with wisdom from the Bible. It is based on a list the author made called, “Ten Things I Want to Tell Teenage Girls.” She posted it on her blog during the wee hours one Sunday morning. Later, when she came home from church, she found she had really struck a nerve because her blog had received hundreds of thousands of views.

In the book, the overriding theme is: you are enough. God loves you, and you don’t have to be anything more than what He created you to be, that is enough. Girls can make themselves crazy trying to conform to the world’s idea of beauty. They may change the color of their hair, change their skin tone with tanning beds, or starve themselves in an effort to be “beautiful.” The author says “enough” about all of this effort to change the way God made you. Accept how you are created, you are God’s masterpiece–and that is enough.

This book contains ten sections. The author writes about emotions, social media, and following your heart. And she does so in a very creative way.

For example, most teenage girls are very interested in boys. But, a lot of them are disappointed in the type of boys that are usually interested in them. Kate advises girls that if they aren’t getting attention from the right kind of guy, they need to change the “bait” they use.

In other words, the girl is the bait. If she wants a guy to like her for her personality, she will need to focus on making her personality be what is most noticeable. By the same token, if a girl dresses to draw attention to her body, then she will “catch” a guy whose interest in her is all about her physical attributes.

The author is a mother in her late 20′s, she is married to a pastor, and the two of them have been working with teens since college. This fun read covers lots of serious topics with some great suggestions. She states everything in life begins and ends with a solid faith in Christ. I enjoyed it, and learned some things. If you are a teen or have a teen in your house, this book is for you. If you don’t fall into those categories, but want to understand teen girls a bit more, this 5-star book is also for you. This book just might change a girl’s life.

“Disclosure (in accordance with the FTC’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising”): Many thanks to Propeller Consulting, LLC for providing this prize for the giveaway. Choice of winners and opinions are 100% my own and NOT influenced by monetary compensation. I did receive a sample of the product in exchange for this review and post, it has not influenced my judgment. Only one entrant per mailing address, per giveaway. Limit to USA & Canadian addresses only.

My Blog: http://bookreadingtic.com/2014/08/01/...

Author’s Blog: http://kateelizabethconner.com/

Author’s Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/KateElizabet...

Author’s Twitter: https://twitter.com/kateeconner

[Brandi (Rambles of a SAHM) · Rating 5 out of 5]

You are beautiful. You are valuable. You are enough. Those three little phrases are what women, young and old, all long to hear. Yet in this crazy world of hyper-sexualism those words seem to get drowned out by others that begin to erode the very essence of who we were created to be.

In 2012 Kate wrote a spur of the moment blog post entitled Ten Things I Want To Tell Teenage Girls. In a short span of time the post went viral. Why? I would guess that it is because it spoke truth to fables that we have been trying desperately to make into reality. What are the 10 things you ask? I'll give them to you:

1. If you choose to wear shirts that show off your boobs, you will attract boys.
2. Don’t go to the tanning bed.
3. When you talk about your friends “anonymously” on Facebook, we know exactly who you’re talking about.
4. Newsflash: the number of times you say “I hate drama” is a pretty good indicator of how much you love drama.
5. “Follow your heart” is probably the worst advice ever.
6. Never let a man make you feel weak or inferior because you are an emotional being.
7. Smoking is not cool.
8. Stop saying things like, “I don’t care what anyone thinks about me.”
9. Don’t play coy or stupid or helpless to get attention.
10. You are beautiful. You are enough.

If you're a momma you're probably nodding your head and giving a great big hallelujah! If you're a teen girl, it is quite possible you're rolling your eyes. For both of those very reasons you need to get a copy of each of these books. Read them together. Each chapter in each book coincides with the other book.

I know what you're thinking . . . you've already given us the link to the blog post and the list of the 10 things. Why should we get the books? As I said earlier, Kate wrote the post on a whim. In the books she delves deeper and expounds on each subject. As a momma I'm telling you there is nothing more important than instilling in your girl that she is valued. She is a child of the King. She is royalty and she should learn to act like it. Someone gave His very life for her. She needs to know these truths. You need to know these truths! If you have a little bitty girl, get the books now and read them over and over so you will have a head start on raising her to know that above all things she is enough.

We all know I'm a crazy reader. If it has words, I'm reading it! But I do realize that not everyone is as taken with reading as I am. So hear my heart on this. If you get only one book, get Enough. Then read chapter 10 and absorb it until it is part of your very essence. Then love your daughter enough to share it with her until the truth contained becomes part of who she is as well.

These books would make a fabulous small group study in your youth group. Make a retreat weekend out of it. Get copies of 10 Things For Teen Girls for all the teen girls and copies of Enough for all the adult women leaders. If we could instill these truths into all the girls in our circles of influence we could change a generation. Remember, If God Is For Us . . . Who Can Stand Against Us?!!

I received a copy of this book to facilitate my review.

[Amy Henss · Rating 5 out of 5]

You are ENOUGH!

Everyone who has ever encountered a teen girl should read this book! Insightful and poignantly funny, “Enough” wraps up everything I want for my very own 14 year old daughter, and reminds me how incredibly AWESOME it is to be FEMALE!!!

[L Frost · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a book written for moms. It's addressed to them as a tool to use in discussing these topics with their daughters. Sometimes the author's personal stories go on too long instead of getting to the point. Several times the author mentions that these are things for adults to work on themselves - they're not issues exclusive to teenagers. Teenage girls also develop behavior based on their own mother's behavior.

None of the information is really new. It's the same topics and issues written about in articles and blogs. Sometimes the author has a new approach. It's generally biblically based, some topics more than others. The author uses occasional verses to support some of her positions. She presents a pretty good balance between humility, being a lady, and not being a doormat, being a strong female, pursuing dreams, etc. I think she intends for all of it to encourage behaviors that reflect Christ.

The book is somewhat dated in that she uses Facebook as the social media to discuss versus Snapchat, Instagram, etc that teenagers primarily use today. The smoking chapter is odd. She could have used it to explore other temptations such as drinking, recreational and prescription drugs, etc. She's fairly vague about what constitutes modest dress although she gives some good general guidelines. I wish she had not focused so much on attracting boys in that section since younger girls shouldn't be focused on that and honestly, we don't want older boy crazy girls either. Attraction to boys and dating is natural but it should be at the right age and stage of life and shouldn't be a primary focus. The author may have assumed that the reader will understand that and come to that conclusion without having to spell it out.

In general it is a good read and helpful for moms who are addressing these issues with their daughters. It is funny, direct, and is an easy read.

[Rylie]

As reading this book as a teenager, it has given me lots of insight to things I didn't quite see before. It gave me more hope and confidence. It was a really good book, that I would suggest others read my age or younger just because I think it would help them live their life fuller. She provides hope of wisdom as she uses phrases from the bible that go along with each chapter. Saying how when everything goes wrong, and nothing goes your way, you might have nobody to talk to, to always look to God because he is there for you and always will be. You're life is all about getting hurt and becoming stronger, this all comes from your heart. You must believe you can get back up and try again and you must believe you can do anything you set your mind to. You can't let other things stop you like friends and popularity because you're pretending to be someone you're not. You is the best you can be, not someone else. As Kate says, "You are Beautiful. You are Valuable. You are Enough." It's important to never forget those words as they will help you in every situation you get yourself into.

[ShaylaReads · Rating 4 out of 5]

In 2012, Kate Conner wrote a blog post listing 10 things we should be telling teenage girls that went viral. This book expands on that post.

It was very easy to read and she takes a common sense approach to life and working with teen girls. Her foundation is faith based and her thoughts are based on biblical principles. That being said, this book is very relatable and appropriate for those who do not share her same belief system.

Having teenage girls myself, I was very interested to read this book. She puts into words things I have been thinking and gives ways to approach topics with my girls. There are some areas she gets a bit long winded but overall, it was a great book filled with passion for raising strong women taught that they are enough. Even though it was written 8 years ago, the words are just as true and needed today, maybe even more so.

I give it 4.5 stars and recommend to all that have relationships with teenage girls.

[Sarah · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book was not written for me. This book has a very limited audience because of the traditional perspective. It is also written in a mother's perspective with other mothers in mind.
Honestly, I didn't really like this book. Especially the first half. The actual advice was good, however the stories and context would contradict the point most of the time. It was full of generalization and black and white thinking. Which, again, means that this book is for a limited audience. I also did not find most situations to be what I experienced when I was younger.
The only part of this book that saved the rating from being two stars was the last chapter. That chapter was absolutely beautiful, and it is exactly what everyone needs to hear.

[Donna O'Connor · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a fabulous book for parents of pre-teens and teenage girls! I wish I had this book when I was raising my daughter. I am using it in teaching a youth class at my church. It has incredible ways of helping teenagers deal with their emotions. God gave them emotions, they need to learn that it is okay to have emotions, but helps them choose what they do with them! This book is a guide for parents of teenage girls to help them. I gleaned out a whole lot to use in teaching my youth class. I am going to purchase this book for each of my mothers. This book will help you communicate better with your teenage girl! I highly recommend it!

[Bethany · Rating 1 out of 5]

Read the appendix at the back. That’s the 10 things she wants to tell teenage girls summed up right there in two pages. No need to read the book. I don’t know who the target audience of this book is? Teens? Or their mums? Because she keeps saying throughout “your teenage girl needs to know....” “your teenage girl might think....”

As a woman in her early 20s, I can think of a lot of things I would say to my teenage self, and with the exception of the last chapter, it’s none of these things.

It was boring and cringe and was written 7 years ago so maybe I shouldn’t judge it that harshly, but we’ve moved on from then, frankly the advice is a bit outdated and not that revolutionary

[Hez Flourish · Rating 5 out of 5]

To every Woman especially teenagers you're ENOUGH. Be who Christ has made you to be and avoid letting pressure overwhelm you. Also make the right decisions, for teens girls is not advised to follow your heart but the lord leading and your intuition as is never wrong.

[Erika Russell · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you have teenage or pre-teen daughters, read this book! There's a version for the teen/tween, too, that my oldest really enjoyed.

[Bridgette · Rating 5 out of 5]

"The gospel is scandalous. God doesn't love us because we are enough--we are enough because He loves us."

The subtitle says "10 things we should be telling teenage girls."
I'd like to submit it should be "10 things we should be telling girls of ALL ages."

The truths written here are so important and told in a beautifully humorous way. I laughed the whole way through this book while pausing every other page to say "wow" and "I need to write that down."

[Ginger · Rating 5 out of 5]

This author and fellow blogger gets it. Kate Conner just gets it. She understands how we parents, especially us moms should be talking to our teen daughters. She nails it. I needed this book when Casey was a teen. It would have been Enough, along with the Word of God, of course. Enough is based on her blog post, she wrote! It got 2 million hits within a couple of weeks. How amazing is that? I would not mind that same traffic here.
We as mother’s, Sunday School Teachers, Father’s, and preachers have been teaching our daughters wrong. We just have. We have looked at it wrong. We (collectively) have been teaching our girls that having boobs is shameful and that we need to cover them up. We still do, but it isn’t shameful. Far from it. We also need to teach our girls to not listen to their heart. The heart is wicked and deceitful. They need to listen to their brains. They do know if they are about to do something that they know is wrong. When they have to say something then enter a “but”, they know it is wrong, but they want to do it anyways. My favorite chapter has to be chapter 9. The title is Dumb is Never Cute. You are just going to have to get the book and read it yourself. Sorry! I can’t giveaway the entire plot of the Enough.

Sisters, we either show the world that we have brains, passions, and skills-or we don’t. We can’t have it both ways. #10things
I really wish I had Enough, when my daughter was entering the teen years. Even before hand. It is common sense, but common sense isn’t so common these days. Maybe we could have bypassed some stuff, but, maybe not. We were very much into the Fundamental world and didn’t listen to God’s word. I give Enough, 10 Things We Should be Telling Teenage Girls, by Kate Conner 10 stars!

[Emily W · Rating 4 out of 5]

Things I needed to know as a teen + things I still need reminding of now.

But most importantly, a reminder that I am enough. As I am, where I'm at, no matter how awfully I'm doing. I am enough. And that's a message we all need to hear a lot more often than we do.

This book is full of beautiful truths and raw honesty. Conner gets real with us - very real. It's a beautiful vulnerability that allows us to really ponder and it made me acknowledge the truths in my life that aren't always easy. This book is a gem.

[Candace · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this, and read this book thinking that maybe I would have little girls one day. I actually have two boys, but this is still something teachable when raising boys. How to TREAT girls and what we should start telling girls NOW before it's too late. However, I do have many many nieces and "adopted nieces" and young girl cousins who I can pour this into as well. Just a good and eye-opening read.

[Charity · Rating 4 out of 5]

Please see 5girlsbookreviews.blogspot.com and/or our Facebook page "5 Girls Book Reviews" to see the full review of this book!

REVIEW BY: Arianna, age 12 years, 8 months

MAY CONTAIN SPOILER:

This book talks about modesty, "the beauty trap", and girls that act not as smart as they really are in order to get a guy.

My favorite advice in this book is to not act like you don't have a brain to get someone to like you. If they don't think you are enough then they are not worth it.

[Brenda · Rating 3 out of 5]

Since this is my Year of Enough, this book title caught my attention when I saw it in the sidebar of Kate Conner's blog. Despite the fact that I'm not a teenage girl, nor do I have any in my life, I decided to check it out. Kate is funny and gracious, and I'm on board with most of what she had to say here. However, I know from her blog that her life has changed drastically since writing this book, and I'm really interested to know whether she'd give all the same advice now.

[Katie Zebrowski · Rating 4 out of 5]

Kate Conner has written the book that every mother (of girls) needs to acquire. I have so much locw for a book that can convey advice and guidance while being humorous and somewhat lighthearted. Kate Conner shares what she has learned while including religion, but it doesn't feel like she is preaching to the reader.

This book was provided to me from the publisher via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

[Kendra · Rating 5 out of 5]

I wish I had this book when I was a teenager. Kate Conner's humor and strong Biblical references culminate in a beautifully relatable book that I think should be core curriculum for every parent raising a daughter. I loved the chapter "Don't Get Mad, Get Mastered" the most--one I'll return to again and again.

[Becky · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is SO powerful - 10 things we should be telling our teenage girls. It truly hit home with me as a mom of a soon-to-be-teenage daughter! It's positive and uplifting and VERY practical information that I can use as I parent my two daughters. There is also TONS of humor in Kate Conner's writing - I found it an enjoyable and practical read.

[Matthew · Rating 4 out of 5]

As a dad of two daughters, I wanted to find out the "10 Things We Should Be Telling Teenage Girls". Although my oldest daughter is only 13, I thought I'd get a head start on thinking about how to parent a teenage girl.

I don't think this book is amazing, but I did like it. It's a quick and easy read and is filled with practical suggestions for investing in your teenage daughter.

[Sboysen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved Connor's fun, and hilariously honest voice. This is a must-read for anyone who works with, lives with or influences in any way, a girl. Read it now before they are teens. Read it now for you, an adult woman. Read it now to encourage other women. Connor is hilarious! This was a thoroughly enjoyable, useful, self-changing, mind-provoking book.

[Rebekah · Rating 5 out of 5]

Fantastic book! A great read for women of all ages. As she said with drama, the habits are modeled by the parents and then picked up by the teens. But teens and women of all ages can and need to know how to break free from these wrong ways of thinking, especially to glorify God or interact with one another in constructive ways. Very easy to read and had a fun and relatable voice!

[Megan · Rating 5 out of 5]

I appreciate a book on this topic that isn't doom and gloom and that reads like I'm having a conversation with my best friend. In addition, Conner includes a spiritual element, but in such an easy, organic way. I felt the authenticity of this book with every word. And while I raised my eyebrow a couple of times, the advice herein in essential and beautifully communicated.

[Rebekah · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is gold. Not just for what to communicate to our growing girls, to remember ourselves as mothers. The Appendix includes Conner's original blog post, the short and sweet version. In this form it is a summary of what you've just read.

[Rhonda Cullum · Rating 5 out of 5]

Everyone that's a parent or mentor of a teenage girl needs to read this book. Great insight into what they're dealing with and how to walk alongside them and help them to deepen their faith along the way.

[Brenda Seefeldt · Rating 4 out of 5]

Written for moms of teenage girls. Humorous and honest content. Moms will feel empowered, not intimidated. I'm not sure this was marketed as a parenting book so don't lump it into that . Consider it an encourager with humor.