I absolutely loved this book! As an aspiring writer myself, this book really gave me this honey glow feeling about me writing (despite the fact I haven't touched my novel in months). It made me want to write. it made me want to sit down and spend hours typing away until my fingers bled.
it also made me open up to the possibilities of life. It opened me up to the fact that life isn't always a straight line and it will be hard. Money will be scarce, bills need to be paid but if you want something hard enough, you can find a way. Even if that way takes longer than expected.
The book also touched me in very deep ways. So often, i go through life wishing i had everything together. Wishing that all my ducks were in a row. Fact is, they aren't. Romi's ducks weren't in a row. Something always came along that shot one of the ducks down. Or maybe something came along that shook all the ducks off the row. At the end of the book, she ends up stepping into the water, with out ever knowing if she will drown, or swim. If the water will be shallow, or be full of fast moving currents and rapids.
And that's the thing. That's what hit me profoundly and moved me to tears. She was able to make a huge life change and move to Paris, with out ever knowing the next step. I go through life WANTING to know the next step. i WANT to know that there will be a steady stone i can step on so i don't fall in the water. up until paris, Romi wanted certainty. After paris (or at least the end of the book, since she was only 2 weeks away from leaving), she goes for uncertainty.
I can't go through life with certainties. Even more so because i deal with my anxiety disorder, sometimes depression if its pms, or some new medication side effect. I also have ADHD to deal with and it's uncertain some days if my medication will work, as i am still working with my doctor to get things right.
I don't know if tomorrow will be a great day and i'll have sunshine and rainbows. I could have an anxiety attack after my morning shower that ruins my day and keeps me locked away in my office. I could be having a depressing morning that makes me want to curl in a blanket and watch mindless tv. Maybe i just woke up on the wrong side of the bed and i am too grumpy and bitchy to get anything done (unless i find someone to punch in the face to feel better).
Thing is, i don't know WHAT the next day will have in store. I have to go into it with the schrodinger's paradox. It's both a good day AND a bad day. At the end of the book, when Romi is asked if she could face the future despite knowing a damned thing...It really spoke to me. It really made my heart and head think about my future and realize that i COULD make big steps and no matter what, i could fall hard or keep climbing or both.
And in the end, even if anxiety eats me alive, or even if my ADHD spirals into chaos...i'll still be here. Romi takes a risk at the end of the book with Erik...even though it has plenty of hurdles. If she can take big risks and still stand on her feet, then what's to stop me from taking big risks. She get's asked if she can take the risk and she honestly explains that it's a scary question.
and i an honestly say the same thing. Thinking about the risks of my future, or thinking about the unknown...it IS a scary thought.
The whole series really spoke to me on a personal level and resonated with every aspect of my life. Culturally, Filipino's share many traits with the Indians in Romi's books. Whether that speaks for the entire culture, i cannot say, as i can only speak on behalf of filipino culture...
but in the end, if Romi can do all that she did (and as scary as all of it is), then....you know what. I can do it. Maybe not tonight, maybe not tomorrow, and maybe not next week because i wake up with anxiety one day and depression the next...but i can do it.
Thank you, Romi (both Moondi and Nardina), for showing me that things are possible, hurdles will be in your way, but I can do it!