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Hindsight: True Love & Mischief in the Golden Age of Porn
HINDSIGHT is one man's remarkably revealing story about sex and relationships, on the silver screen and in his private life. Howie Gordon (screen name Richard Pacheco) was an award-winning actor during The Golden Age of Porn, whose memoir does not duck the question, "What about love?" With charm, passion, wit, and what may best be described as a crude elegance, Gordon's story takes us back to the fabled Baby Boomer era, when erotic films took a dramatic step closer to mainstream entertainment in America. His memoir recounts scenes with Marilyn Chambers, Georgina Spelvin, Seka, Annette Haven, Kay Parker and many others. This was the heyday of John Holmes, John Leslie, Jamie Gillis and Anthony Spinelli, and they are all characters in what may prove to be the finest inside story to ever come out of the fascinating world of Adult Film during its Golden Age. Ultimately, HINDSIGHT is a surprising love story: here in a triumph over incredible odds, is an unlikely victory for true love, common sense, and the American way. Full of pictures and high spirits - this memoir is a great read, whether you know the world of porn, or are just a curious reader. "It was the time of storytelling with an X Rating, and there's no one better to tell this story than my friend Howie Gordon." - Whoopi Goldberg "Howie Gordon writes about life as a porn star with more honesty, integrity and humor than any other porn star, ever! You will laugh, cry, and fall in love. I hope his book gets made into a movie, because it will be a one-of-a-kind blockbuster." - Annie Sprinkle, Ph.D.
Post Porn Modernist "Mark Twain meets Don Juan-a delectable fusion of brains and balls!" - Dr. Marianna Beck, Ph.D. The Material Culture of Sex
- GenresNonfictionMemoir
692 pages, Paperback
First published September 30, 2013
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Displaying 1 - 10 of 10 reviews
March 20, 2015
There have been so many books written about working in the porn industry. Most have either been mediocre recitations of “who starred in what” with a few backstage tales added or finger-pointing exposés that are as exploitative as the films they condemn. It was sad to read how something that can be as exciting and wonderful as sexual intimacy must be so pervasively dark.
At one point, I happened on a documentary called AFTER PORN ENDS. It was a “Where are they now?” series of interviews with people who had made adult films, but now had new lives. One of those interviewed was Richard Pacheco, famous for portraying the likeable “common man” in the Golden Age of Porn in the 70’s and early 80’s. He was witty, interesting, and had a personality that shone through as genuinely pleasant. There was mention at the end of the show that he had written a memoir called HINDSIGHT, and I thought I would probably enjoy it.
Well, I did.
I can say with complete assurance that I have not only never read another book like it on the topic, but that I have never read another book like it. In an odd mixture of diary transcriptions, commentary, impromptu dialogues with people real and imagined, and lots and lots of photographs, Howie Gordon (who I knew in films as Richard Pacheco) not only tells what it was like to make sex films for a living. He also dissects his own life, and the realizations he uncovers makes for fascinating reading.
Sometimes this style is disconcerting. He may mention an event two or three times in the course of the writing as if it was new information. Or he will express his pain over the death of Jamie Gillis (definitely a superstar of the Golden Age) before he even makes his first appearance in the narrative. This is because the news of Jamie’s death arrived at that point while the memoir was being written. I quickly became accustomed to this moderate stream-of-consciousness approach.
The writer has an insightful view of what was going on in the porn industry during his tenure. “We were like noble rogues in some divinely human struggle to make life in a body easier. …My generation tried to make lust respectable.” That was part of the reason why there was tenderness and respect in so many of his scenes. He wanted to genuinely be making love…and, sometimes, he did.
At the same time, he admits that there was a distorted male psyche running rampant through much of the industry. It was a subconscious desire to inflict humiliation on beautiful women who were once unattainable to the men who were making the films. Because of this, various forms of physical abuse were the order of the day…and the audiences wanted more.
However, that is only part of the story. The subtitle of the book is “True Love and Mischief in the Golden Age of Porn.” The writer deeply explores the impact his working life made on his life as a husband and a father. We do not only hear his side. Comments are added from others to provide multiple perspectives of incidents. In probably the most telling chapter at the end of the book, the writer turns to his wife and asks her to write her reaction. It is not surprising, but it does pack an emotional punch.
I wrote down a passage that beautifully describes what is happening in this book:
“I think that writing your memoirs is a lot like taking an all-expenses paid trip through Purgatory where you have to watch all of your life; the good, the bad, the embarrassing, and even the incomprehensible. You have to watch all of your life up there on the big screen and find a way to write about it.”
And that’s what he does. There is no frustration here of reading through the events of a person’s life, but not really knowing who they really are outside of the facts that are offered. Neither is this a self-serving work. He knows very well that readers won’t like everything they find here. Yet, it is quite a ride, and one of the two best books on the porn industry I’ve read.
At one point, I happened on a documentary called AFTER PORN ENDS. It was a “Where are they now?” series of interviews with people who had made adult films, but now had new lives. One of those interviewed was Richard Pacheco, famous for portraying the likeable “common man” in the Golden Age of Porn in the 70’s and early 80’s. He was witty, interesting, and had a personality that shone through as genuinely pleasant. There was mention at the end of the show that he had written a memoir called HINDSIGHT, and I thought I would probably enjoy it.
Well, I did.
I can say with complete assurance that I have not only never read another book like it on the topic, but that I have never read another book like it. In an odd mixture of diary transcriptions, commentary, impromptu dialogues with people real and imagined, and lots and lots of photographs, Howie Gordon (who I knew in films as Richard Pacheco) not only tells what it was like to make sex films for a living. He also dissects his own life, and the realizations he uncovers makes for fascinating reading.
Sometimes this style is disconcerting. He may mention an event two or three times in the course of the writing as if it was new information. Or he will express his pain over the death of Jamie Gillis (definitely a superstar of the Golden Age) before he even makes his first appearance in the narrative. This is because the news of Jamie’s death arrived at that point while the memoir was being written. I quickly became accustomed to this moderate stream-of-consciousness approach.
The writer has an insightful view of what was going on in the porn industry during his tenure. “We were like noble rogues in some divinely human struggle to make life in a body easier. …My generation tried to make lust respectable.” That was part of the reason why there was tenderness and respect in so many of his scenes. He wanted to genuinely be making love…and, sometimes, he did.
At the same time, he admits that there was a distorted male psyche running rampant through much of the industry. It was a subconscious desire to inflict humiliation on beautiful women who were once unattainable to the men who were making the films. Because of this, various forms of physical abuse were the order of the day…and the audiences wanted more.
However, that is only part of the story. The subtitle of the book is “True Love and Mischief in the Golden Age of Porn.” The writer deeply explores the impact his working life made on his life as a husband and a father. We do not only hear his side. Comments are added from others to provide multiple perspectives of incidents. In probably the most telling chapter at the end of the book, the writer turns to his wife and asks her to write her reaction. It is not surprising, but it does pack an emotional punch.
I wrote down a passage that beautifully describes what is happening in this book:
“I think that writing your memoirs is a lot like taking an all-expenses paid trip through Purgatory where you have to watch all of your life; the good, the bad, the embarrassing, and even the incomprehensible. You have to watch all of your life up there on the big screen and find a way to write about it.”
And that’s what he does. There is no frustration here of reading through the events of a person’s life, but not really knowing who they really are outside of the facts that are offered. Neither is this a self-serving work. He knows very well that readers won’t like everything they find here. Yet, it is quite a ride, and one of the two best books on the porn industry I’ve read.
March 16, 2014
A wild, honest ride through the world of 80s porn. From chubby boy to swinger to adult film actor, Richard Pacheco tells his story with humor and pathos.
October 20, 2019
It has taken me awhile to read this book but once I started, I couldn't put it down. 684 pages, each one interesting. First of all. I was in his senior class when he was class president. I had a crush on him. But never acted on it. How I wish I had. I had one interesting interaction with Howie and Harold that involved drugs in a basement, but no sex. I had no idea he had become a porn star until I saw him talking about the book on Facebook. His wife is a saint. But truly, if you are at all interested in discovering what the porn movie business was like in the 1970's and 89's this us a really informative, interesting book, and his powerful personality shines. Plus lots of naked pictures 😁
July 16, 2014
The very embodiment of "rambling", Howie Gordon's memoir of his life as 70s/80s porn stud Richard Pacheco is nothing if not an opportunity to get to know the man inside and out. HINDSIGHT is somehow breezy and epic, fluffy and far-reaching all at the same time. If I occasionally wished for a few (hundred) fewer words here and there, overall it was a fun, certainly informative read.
July 9, 2014
A rousing story told with wit, candor and heart. It felt like having a view into the private life of a porn star.
Titillating, to be sure. *pun intended*
Titillating, to be sure. *pun intended*
October 19, 2017
Fascinating read. I felt like it was a history lesson into the world of porn. The author is very open and honest. Has a great sense of humor and just seems like someone you would want to be friends with. It took me forever to finish the book because for me it's one of those books that you just pick up to read whenever you feel like reading and it doesn't matter how long it has been since you read the last chapter, his retelling of what he remembers is like sitting and listening to a friend about his amazing crazy life, and you don't get the full story in one sitting but you hear bits and pieces over the course of years of friendship. That's the best way I can describe how I read this book.
January 11, 2020
An excellent look at the porn industry, during the latter half of the "Golden Age", as we see it through the eyes of porn star Richard Pacheco (Howie Gordon). Don't let the length of the book put you off. It was a very quick, entertaining read.... and emotionally moving. Rather salacious and shocking in some parts as you might expect. Highly recommended.
August 24, 2019
Accurate account of the Golden Age of porn. Only an insider could write such details. It is classy sleaze.
May 22, 2022
4.5/5
I loved this one. There are few porn autobiographies from male stars and this is on of the best. Gordon entered adult at the height of porno chic and left as the AIDS crisis started to take over the popular culture and reap a deadly toll in the mid-eighties. What sets this one apart is Gordon's honesty. For the porn-history buffs, you get the down low on many of the key players and producers and the adult industry at large, and Gordon does go through much of his filmography. It never feels like braggadocio, and when critical it never feels smug. Gordon brings a sense of humour to the stories, but also confronts the issues of misogyny and his personal philosophical conflicts with the genre, and his place in furthering and trying to combat those aspects. It's wonderfully reflective, without defending or condemning the worst aspects. All with a humour to it that is incredibly engaging.
Add in Gordon being great at telling a story and this one is a home run. If there's any complaint, he may be a little too hard on himself and the films at time, but that's a personal feeling for me since I view him and the work with a lot of respect.
I loved this one. There are few porn autobiographies from male stars and this is on of the best. Gordon entered adult at the height of porno chic and left as the AIDS crisis started to take over the popular culture and reap a deadly toll in the mid-eighties. What sets this one apart is Gordon's honesty. For the porn-history buffs, you get the down low on many of the key players and producers and the adult industry at large, and Gordon does go through much of his filmography. It never feels like braggadocio, and when critical it never feels smug. Gordon brings a sense of humour to the stories, but also confronts the issues of misogyny and his personal philosophical conflicts with the genre, and his place in furthering and trying to combat those aspects. It's wonderfully reflective, without defending or condemning the worst aspects. All with a humour to it that is incredibly engaging.
Add in Gordon being great at telling a story and this one is a home run. If there's any complaint, he may be a little too hard on himself and the films at time, but that's a personal feeling for me since I view him and the work with a lot of respect.
September 21, 2014
Great read. Well written. Interesting life in pornoland.
Displaying 1 - 10 of 10 reviews