What do you think?
Rate this book
Raising Maidens of Virtue : A Study of Feminine Loveliness for Mothers and Daughters
More than a fill-in-the-blank Bible study, Raising Maidens of Virtue is an engaging tool for mothers to use in training daughters who are approaching womanhood to think biblically. Through stories, allegories, illustrations, and memory-making projects, Raising Maidens of Virtue covers topics such as guarding the tongue, idleness, sibling relationships, honoring parents, contentment, modesty, purity, cleanliness, and feminine biblical beauty.
224 pages, Hardcover
First published January 1, 2004
12 people are currently reading
529 people want to read
About the author
Stacy McDonald
3 books7 followersStacy is the wife of James McDonald, the homeschooling mother of nine blessings, and the editor-in-chief of Homeschooling Today and Family Reformation magazines. She lives in Illinois where she serves her family and assists her husband with their family publications and the management of their bookstore Books On The Path. As time allows, Stacy enjoys speaking to women on subjects pertaining to wives, mothers, and daughters. Her special passion is sharing God's truth regarding a wife's godly role in marriage, contented motherhood, and the true meaning of feminine biblical beauty.
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 30 of 36 reviews
December 21, 2022
I’m assuming if you want to read this book to your daughter, it’s because you care about her. You want her to have a meaningful, God-honoring, satisfying life.
If that is the case, please do not read her this book. There are better ones out there than this.
My background: my mother read this book to me when I was eleven years old, which is about a year before I became a Christian. At 26 years old, I still carry the weight of Ms. McDonald’s words. If this review seems a bit disjointed or incomplete, I apologize. Rereading the book was painful enough; writing a coherent explanation for why I believe it was harmful is even more painful. I disagree with Ms. McDonald on many points.
Let me begin by saying that the clothes you wear should be comfortable, as well as encourage confidence and self-respect. But this book taught me that I should be self-conscious of any potential way I might cause my brothers in Christ to stumble: “If a maiden dresses immodestly, how could it harm a young man?... If we publicly expose our bodies or wear clothing that accentuates our private areas, are we being discreet?" (127). Pages and pages of questions about clothing and whether or not it’s Ms. McDonald’s definition of modest. My eleven-year-old interpretation was if I wore anything that accentuated my body, I would be hurting someone. The consequences of wearing clothes that were stretchy or fit and flattered my body were dire. So I tried to wear clothes that were shapeless, non-descript, unobtrusive. I made myself smaller. Tried to take up less attention. I could lead someone to sin because of my body. Not because I was especially attractive, but because I had breasts and hips.
Chapter 13 highlights the most egregious attitude within the book: self-righteousness. Titled "Colorful Flamingos," Ms. McDonald begins by describing a time she and her older daughter were at the beach.
“We found ourselves repeatedly needing to cast our eyes downward to avoid almost constant visual assault.
‘Here comes another colorful flamingo!’ Melissa warned, looking down. Sure enough, a pretentious young bird came strutting by us, and the poor thing seemed to have lost her feathers!" (131)
That "pretentious young bird" is a woman made in the image of God, which automatically means she is worthy of being treated with dignity and respect whether the author think she's done anything to deserve it or not. The mocking attitude the author displays is demeaning, and by no means a one-time offense.
The author makes a habit of writing any “immodestly” dressed female character as a terrible, selfish person in ways that have nothing to do with how she dresses. They’re all conceited, spiteful, angry, rude, and mean. By contrast, the maidens of virtue are kind, patient, selfless, quiet, and hardworking. I suppose these characters are exaggerated to make a point, but as a child I felt like I could only be like one or the other. I wasn’t perfectly kind, patient, selfless, etc like the maidens of virtue, so that meant I was one of the bad girls. I desperately wanted to be good. When I made mistakes, I remembered the perfect maidens of virtue. I’d beat myself up for not being like them, no matter how hard I tried.
Grace is not real in this worldview—it’s a buzzword that is given lip service and tossed aside in favor of shame and guilt.
As I mentioned earlier, there are so many points of disagreement I have with this book. If it weren’t so painful, I’d list them all.
TL;DR: I was the girl who tried to follow these rules and felt nothing but shame and despair when I couldn’t get it right. I know my mother meant well when she read this to me as a child, but I’ve never regretted reading a book more in my entire life. I wish I had just learned more about Jesus and less about Ms. McDonald’s worldview. I would have been a happier person for it. As of now, God gives me strength to challenge that way of thinking when it starts to give me grief. I’m grateful God is much kinder than this book made him seem.
If that is the case, please do not read her this book. There are better ones out there than this.
My background: my mother read this book to me when I was eleven years old, which is about a year before I became a Christian. At 26 years old, I still carry the weight of Ms. McDonald’s words. If this review seems a bit disjointed or incomplete, I apologize. Rereading the book was painful enough; writing a coherent explanation for why I believe it was harmful is even more painful. I disagree with Ms. McDonald on many points.
Let me begin by saying that the clothes you wear should be comfortable, as well as encourage confidence and self-respect. But this book taught me that I should be self-conscious of any potential way I might cause my brothers in Christ to stumble: “If a maiden dresses immodestly, how could it harm a young man?... If we publicly expose our bodies or wear clothing that accentuates our private areas, are we being discreet?" (127). Pages and pages of questions about clothing and whether or not it’s Ms. McDonald’s definition of modest. My eleven-year-old interpretation was if I wore anything that accentuated my body, I would be hurting someone. The consequences of wearing clothes that were stretchy or fit and flattered my body were dire. So I tried to wear clothes that were shapeless, non-descript, unobtrusive. I made myself smaller. Tried to take up less attention. I could lead someone to sin because of my body. Not because I was especially attractive, but because I had breasts and hips.
Chapter 13 highlights the most egregious attitude within the book: self-righteousness. Titled "Colorful Flamingos," Ms. McDonald begins by describing a time she and her older daughter were at the beach.
“We found ourselves repeatedly needing to cast our eyes downward to avoid almost constant visual assault.
‘Here comes another colorful flamingo!’ Melissa warned, looking down. Sure enough, a pretentious young bird came strutting by us, and the poor thing seemed to have lost her feathers!" (131)
That "pretentious young bird" is a woman made in the image of God, which automatically means she is worthy of being treated with dignity and respect whether the author think she's done anything to deserve it or not. The mocking attitude the author displays is demeaning, and by no means a one-time offense.
The author makes a habit of writing any “immodestly” dressed female character as a terrible, selfish person in ways that have nothing to do with how she dresses. They’re all conceited, spiteful, angry, rude, and mean. By contrast, the maidens of virtue are kind, patient, selfless, quiet, and hardworking. I suppose these characters are exaggerated to make a point, but as a child I felt like I could only be like one or the other. I wasn’t perfectly kind, patient, selfless, etc like the maidens of virtue, so that meant I was one of the bad girls. I desperately wanted to be good. When I made mistakes, I remembered the perfect maidens of virtue. I’d beat myself up for not being like them, no matter how hard I tried.
Grace is not real in this worldview—it’s a buzzword that is given lip service and tossed aside in favor of shame and guilt.
As I mentioned earlier, there are so many points of disagreement I have with this book. If it weren’t so painful, I’d list them all.
TL;DR: I was the girl who tried to follow these rules and felt nothing but shame and despair when I couldn’t get it right. I know my mother meant well when she read this to me as a child, but I’ve never regretted reading a book more in my entire life. I wish I had just learned more about Jesus and less about Ms. McDonald’s worldview. I would have been a happier person for it. As of now, God gives me strength to challenge that way of thinking when it starts to give me grief. I’m grateful God is much kinder than this book made him seem.
September 19, 2019
I remember reading this many years ago, and even then when I was more inclined towards rigid conservativeness of all levels (simply because that was what I was raised with and surrounded by 99% of the time) I found that I greatly disliked this book. The main reason for that was that it kept telling my adventurous soul to be grateful with, to my eyes at the time, a stagnant, repressed life. I didn't have the words for such a description now, since back then I just "didn't like it", but deep down I knew the message of this book was not something I completely believed in.
But since it has been a LONG time since I read this, I cannot pick apart definitively the issues I had with this, but I vividly remember disliking this so much and constantly thinking back to all the reasons I did not agree with the things said in this book, especially with how I should live my life.
But since it has been a LONG time since I read this, I cannot pick apart definitively the issues I had with this, but I vividly remember disliking this so much and constantly thinking back to all the reasons I did not agree with the things said in this book, especially with how I should live my life.
September 27, 2020
While I was raised in a similarly conservative environment to what is depicted as ideal in this book, I cannot say enough how much I disagree with the attitudes with which this book is written. The principles of modesty, friendship, and femininity are portrayed with such judgement, pride, and "holier-than-thou" attitude particularly directed to those individuals who supposedly don't have these virtues. Instead of teaching young girls to love and be kind to those individuals who don't know any better or were raised differently, this book wholly encourages and promotes the very pride, judgement, and lack of love that modern Christianity is accused of these days. In this instance, this book justifiably receives that condemnation.
March 5, 2013
It's got some good old fashioned wisdom in it, that why I gave it 2 stars instead of 1. Overall very froufrou and not very relatable or relevant to modern times. Anytime a book pushes submission to the point of doormats, I'm not really a fan.
Edited to add: I do not agree with the author in almost any way. She belittles abuse victims, mocks them even (she created an entire website for this), thinks children are better off rebuked than given any approval, and overall believes some pretty hateful and horrid things that shocked me. She might have some tidbits of advice here and there but overall I personally think I'll just avoid her writings from here on out.
Edited to add: I do not agree with the author in almost any way. She belittles abuse victims, mocks them even (she created an entire website for this), thinks children are better off rebuked than given any approval, and overall believes some pretty hateful and horrid things that shocked me. She might have some tidbits of advice here and there but overall I personally think I'll just avoid her writings from here on out.
October 8, 2011
My Mom read this aloud to my sister and I when we were 12 and 14 years old. Each chapter will lead a mother and her daughter(s) discussing topics on all areas of feminine womanhood from modest clothing to nurturing sweet relationships with siblings, as well as hospitality and other practical areas of homemaking.
Sprinkled throughout the book are lovely illustrations by Johannah Bluedorn.
I encourage all Mother's who have daughters between the ages of 9-16 to read this book together. Brew yourselves a cup of tea and enjoy a short but inspiring chapter from Raising Maidens of Virtue followed by a heart to heart chat.
Sprinkled throughout the book are lovely illustrations by Johannah Bluedorn.
I encourage all Mother's who have daughters between the ages of 9-16 to read this book together. Brew yourselves a cup of tea and enjoy a short but inspiring chapter from Raising Maidens of Virtue followed by a heart to heart chat.
October 12, 2009
A terrible waste of time
January 20, 2016
I was disappointed with this book. I was really looking forward to a book with great advice and tools to use as a mother to raise my daughters into strong young women for God. However, that is not what I found. This book seems to be written more for the young girls (between 10 and 20 years old) to use as a study with aid from older women. Not only did I not get anything from this book that I can use to help me in fulfilling my role of raising up my daughters in the Lord, but there were large parts of what she taught to these young ladies that I disagree with.
January 4, 2011
Every mother of a daughter must read this book! Very insightful study on raising daughters of purity. I learned a lot about modesty. As a mother, it's equally important to dress modestly. My daughter is three yet it's never to early to think about these issues. I highly recommend!
February 24, 2008
Read this with my mom and sister, and really learned alot about Godly feminity that I wish I would have learned about a lot sooner.
July 11, 2008
This is an excellent study for mothers and daughters, or for older daughters, or other women who are seeking encouragement in their femininity. It seems to be written for a 13-17 age group, but older girls can be inspired by it, as well.
Chapters cover relationships in and outside the home, ethics, ideals, homemaking, purity, and, of course, femininity. Most chapters include an anecdote, a discussion of the topic, and questions for further conversation. There are projects and activities at the back of the book, along with lists of other books and resources.
Chapters cover relationships in and outside the home, ethics, ideals, homemaking, purity, and, of course, femininity. Most chapters include an anecdote, a discussion of the topic, and questions for further conversation. There are projects and activities at the back of the book, along with lists of other books and resources.
February 12, 2008
I read this book as a devotional and study with my two daughters! We each enjoyed it so much! A great read in raising your daughters in obedience to God ~ desire to be true maidens. We find ourselves going back to reference so much of the great information that was shared! Definitely a keeper for our family library ~ pray it will be a great book for future granddaughters/daughters!
March 15, 2013
I read this with my daughters, and we had a lot of good discussions as a result. Though I imagine my core values are similar to those of the author, the way they play out in our lives looks very different. I didn't care for the writing style since it was a bit wordy and repetitive, full of "tell" instead of "show" language which included an abundance of adjectives and adverbs.
January 6, 2015
♡One of my top 20 favorite books♡
I love this beautiful book and cannot wait to one day read it with my own daughters. It is filled with absolutely wonderful devotional prayers and gorgeous illustrations.
I love this beautiful book and cannot wait to one day read it with my own daughters. It is filled with absolutely wonderful devotional prayers and gorgeous illustrations.
December 28, 2016
I loved this book! I've read it twice, and now I'm reading it again with my mother. It deals with issues so simply, yet cuts to the heart and portrays a beautiful picture of feminine virtue and loveliness
October 17, 2007
I really enjoyed this book and I think alot of other girls would too. It definatly makes you think about how you should grow in certain areas of your life.
October 9, 2008
I already love Mrs. McDonald so reading her book only made me love her more because she speaks my heart so plainly. I am striving to become the wonderful maiden God has created me to be.
September 30, 2007
Before you judge by my ratings, please keep in mind that I have only read some of this book, but I don't think I finished it yet.
December 27, 2008
This book is lovely.
I would recommend this book for every mother and daughter.
It is a shinning light in a dark world.
I would recommend this book for every mother and daughter.
It is a shinning light in a dark world.
November 11, 2008
This was a beautiful book and very helpful I enjoyed it immensely!
October 23, 2009
Great book!
March 10, 2010
Wonderful book for mothers and daughters! I highly recommend it!
Read
September 17, 2011This is an excellent book on purity and inner loveliness. A highly recommended read.
March 27, 2013
I can't wait to continually read through this book with my daughters every year as they get older and see what more they take away from it! I love it!
May 15, 2013
Wonderful book and a great encouragement. This book really explains the true definition of biblical womanhood!
May 16, 2013
Such a great resource!
November 5, 2013
Love, love, love this book! I'm excited to introduce it to my tween daughter :)
Read
December 18, 2014A great book/study guide! Perfect for mothers to read with their daughters, or daughters alone.
September 27, 2007
I loved this book! it was really, really good! :D
September 5, 2023
My husband picked this up at a homeschool conference a decade ago, and I finally got around to reading through it with my daughter. This was not a great choice for my daughter and me for our weekly girl-Bible-time. Too wordy, too much emphasis on modesty (we do want to be modest, but I didn’t always like how this book discusses it), too old for my 12yo (she doesn’t really know what p0rn is or why it is), too focused on purity culture instead of knowing GOD (lots of weird anecdotes about giving dad your heart—not God, being embarrassed or ashamed that dad would catch you wanting to be like the world—not God, writing poems or notes about how you’re saving yourself for Dad, icky things like that), too many discussion questions and homeschooling projects (we skipped most of them). Really I felt it was a waste of time and wish we had focused on a Puritan paperback like The Rare Jewel of Christian Contentment or something like that that emphasizes holiness in a more biblical way. We’ll do a better choice next.
June 2, 2021
I did not finish reading the book. I was disappointed with the detailed accounts of sinful behavior. My daughter does not need these ideas put into her head! I will not be specific as I do not wish to repeat the accounts. The problem is that the sins are so graphically described that you can visualize the sin in your mind while you are reading. After the chapter her 13 year old daughter wrote about the sinfulness she is "bombarded" with daily I stopped reading it. Why is a THIRTEEN year old seeing and hearing this sinful behavior on TV, in magazines and music, and among friends? Maybe these influences should not be in her young 13 year old life! Disappointed.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 36 reviews