The Infamous Ellen James

Infamous #1

by N.A. Alcorn

Meet twenty-eight year old Ellen James. A sarcastic, feisty, foul-mouthed ER Nurse. She is snarky, sassy, and sometimes crudely inappropriate. After a terrible breakup with her fiancé, Ellen has promised herself that she will never make the mistake of falling for another man again… and physicians, well she’s more than written them off.

Once she meets sexy Trauma Surgeon, Dr. Trent Hamilton, this promise is unbelievably hard to keep. This too-hot-for-Ellen's-own-good man is undeniably sexy and down-right irresistible. He leaves her breathless, speechless, and irritatingly turned on. He makes her fantasize about him in all kinds of dirty, inappropriate ways.

With the help of her obnoxious, and often times hilarious best friend Amy, Ellen will find herself in several crazy, embarrassing situations.

This is a story of friendship, love and how one very sarcastic woman can find the strength to pick up the pieces after having her heart broken.

In her first novel, N.A. Alcorn provides interesting takes on the word vagina, while giving you a reason to re-think your next visit to the Emergency Room. This book is bound to make you laugh, smile, and provide you with enough sarcasm to choke your grandmother. No, N.A. doesn’t want anything bad to happen to your Grandma Ruth, but she does want you to strongly consider re-naming your vibrator after a guy who’s at the top of your spank bank rotation. Be prepared for dripping juice-boxes, awkward pelvic thrusting, and a little suspense to keep your snatch on edge.

Warning: This novel contains explicit sex, profanity and far too much vaginal humor. This novel is not meant for anti-fornicators, up-tight prudes, or virgins who refuse to go to Pound Town.

Genres: Romance, Contemporary Romance, Humor, Contemporary, Adult, New Adult, Romantic Comedy

289 pages, Kindle Edition

First published February 18, 2013

About the author

Author of the Infamous Series.
The Infamous Ellen James- Dec 2013
Avoiding Amy Jackson- Feb 2014
Finding Lizzy Montgomery- Summer 2014

Avid reader.

Tequila enthusiast.

Smut addict.

Lover of all things inappropriate and perverted.

Reviews

[♡Karlyn P♡ · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 stars. Great humor, likeable characters, but waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too many references to the 'vagina' and all the other variations of that word.

Don't get me wrong, this book was down right funny at times. But the same joke told over and over got OLD. Nearly **all** of the humor and dialogue hinged on references to body parts, most particularly the ‘vagina’ and its many other names. No matter what Elle was doing (working, drinking, golfing, fucking…etc.) the endless bombardment of crude body part jokes ensued. Page after page after page, and it never let up until the end. At first I actually enjoyed it and found it hilarious, but it wore on me quickly. It was like listening to your favorite song over and over and over and over until you find yourself wanting your ears to bleed out just to stop the music.

Let me sum it up what got really old, really fast:
# of ‘vagina’ references = 58
# of ‘cunt’ references = 15
# of ‘pussy’ references = 32
# of ‘labia’ references = 9
# of ‘muff’ references = 12
# of ‘snatch’ references = 15
# of ‘fuck’ references = 100
# of ‘cock’ references = 89

Luckily, the last 20% of the book takes a turn and tones it way down, and it had a strong ending that finally showed some depth to these shallow characters. The ending made up for a lot of frustration, and I ended up enjoying the book enough to give it 3.5 stars.

For me, I think a good bit of editing to remove at least half of the va-jay-jay, juice-box, muff-lips…etc. references would have gone a long way in improving this one. I would read this author again in a heartbeat if only I can be assured there are far less repetitive references to body parts.

[Tessa Teevan · Rating 5 out of 5]

11/18- Five Big-Bold-Hysterical-Triple-Plow-PLEASE-Trent-Hamilton-Loving Stars!

After doing nothing but reading this book for a day, all I can honestly say right now is WOW. I have a fever and the only cure is Trent Hamilton. The Hamiltonian Effect is in full swing over here.





My full review will come after the blog tour, but I have to say this: The Infamous Ellen James is one of the best books I've read in 2013. The prologue sucked me in fast, the entire story was engaging, and the epilogue had me smiling through happy tears. It's refreshing, funny, and sinfully sexy. Not to mention completely original with kick ass characters. I want Ellen James to be my bff and I want to steal Trent Hamilton from her at the same time. I laughed, I swooned, I had to bite my cheeks to try to stop the tears from coming. This book has it all and I can't wait for y'all to read it!!

11/17-This baby is on my KINDLE! Woot!




ARC kindly provided by the author in exchange for an honest review.

[Alex is The Romance Fox · Rating 4 out of 5]

Okay, this is not a book that will win any Pulitzer Prize….but hell, it wins hands on for being such a funny read!!!

I had a smile on my face whilst reading about snarky, sassy and foul-mouth Ellen James’s life as a nurse and her problems with love!!!


Great characters, awesome and “dirty” dialogue....

"Can we finish this conversation tomorrow? I have to get ready for work."
"Sure. I can't wait to rehash how some guy refused to make boom-boom with my so-called 'drunken vagina,'" Amy rolls her eyes dramatically as she uses her fingers for air quotes.
Looks like I'm going to have my work cut out for me with this situation.

Swoony hero…..Dr Trent Hamilton…..ooh…….

“I'm falling in love with you too, sweetheart. I know you're scared, and I know the shit that dickless douchebag put you through has you doing everything in your power to never go through something like that again, but I'm not him, baby. Don't run from it. Fall with me. Be with me, Ellie. I want to give you every part of myself. I want to be the reason you wake up every day with a smile on your beautiful face. God, Ellie. You own me. You fucking have me by the balls and I don't even care.”

If you want to read something light and funny….this is the book for you!!!

Now, onto Amy’s story next!!!!

[Farah · Rating 4 out of 5]

4 funtastic stars!

Now I'm not going to lie and say this is the best story I've ever read because I'd be lying!

I will say it was one if the most entertaining and I was cracking up so much and reading with a smile on my face.



If you liked Greys anatomy then you'd like this. I don't know but I got that vibe while reading.


Why I think that:
Firstly Trent is a Dr, a trauma surgeon so many hours in the OR
Ellen is a nurse but also in same medical field
Ellen's best friend is Amy another fellow nurse and roommate who so much reminds me of Christina Yang! These two are crazyyyy funny!



Ellen is sworn off relationships since her ex fucked her over until she meets Trent aka Dr Beautiful aka Dr Thrust



Insta attraction and some bloody funny thoughts and moments (see my status updates ) and lots of boooooze!

So this is a fun fun fun read which is guaranteed to keep you entertained!

[*J* Too Many Books Too Little Time · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5--Too Much Vagina Talk and Not Enough Action--Stars!!!

Hi my name is Ellen James and



I love to talk about my vagina. I love to see how many variations of names I can come up with for my vagina. I love to use my vagina.

Let me break it down for you....this book was centered around two things....the



and drinking.



Copious amounts of drinking. We're talking full on hammered, doing stupid shit drinking. And not just a night or two....no almost every single night Ellen and her BFF Amy are drinking.



How these two managed to drink as much as they did and get up and go to work in the emergency room of a hospital is BEYOND ME!



Ellen and our hero Trent first meet while Ellen is giving a presentation at a conference.



Wait that's not right....her vagina was definitely saying YES, but her heart was saying NO. After all, she was an engaged woman. Until she goes home to find her soon to be hubby in bed with someone else.

Flash forward 3 months and in an effort to forget about said adultery Ellen and Amy DRINK. Shocking right?

They drink at home, they go out and drink, they drink in the morning, they drink in the afternoon, they drink before golf tournaments.



In the meantime, Trent, aka Dr. Thrust Me has temporarily taken over for another surgeon at the hospital where Ellen works (do things like that even happen?).

Now...



Because I am not going to lie....Trent and Ellen were HOT. And they proceed to



In fact, I would give the Trent and Ellen show a solid 4/4.5 stars. The Ellen and Amy show more like 3 stars. If that portion had been toned down a smidge I could have given this one a higher rating overall.

There was some drama thrown in to keep things interesting. And there definitely were some LOL moments. The rest just felt forced and too OTT. It seemed to be the same drunken debauchery over and over and over again.

I don't know....I was just



It took me three days to finish this book which is UNHEARD OF for me. This one could have been really great so I'm kind of bummed. Ellen and Trent do get their HEA complete with an engagement and pregnancy



PREGNANT?

Ugh!





I am SO over that happening in books!

I will give Amy's book a try...I just hope the author will tone things down a bit. This is definitely one of those I think people will either love or hate and you kind of have to be in the right mood to read it.

[Tanja ~ KT Book Reviews · Rating 4 out of 5]

Snarky, funny, sexy!

[Mo Mabie of Fifty5Cents Book Blog · Rating 4 out of 5]

Total: 43 Cents

I just want to clear the air before I get on with my review. First, this review is most likely bias. It is unavoidable. I have known about this book from the very beginning. I have read chapters when N.A. was wigging out, I have had conversations and brainstorming sessions about these characters. So to me they exist. Quiet realistically, if I may add. Ellen, Trent, Amy and every other character in this debut novel have swum around in my head for months. I know them. I get them. They are… my people. They aren’t exactly MY babies per se, but they are a sort of fictional niece/newphew-ish entity in my mind as they were created by someone as close to me as my own sister.

That brings me to point number two, I love N.A. Alcorn. I’m not gushing here folks. We driven miles to be together, spoken on the phone almost everyday, our husbands have been wickedly drunk together and I’ve met her mother (Hi, MOM!). So, yeah, it’s like that.

I don’t have a problem admitting that this review may be bias, but you know what? All of my reviews are, because they are MY reviews. And because I personally know the author, that happens to factor in to my The Infamous Ellen James experience. That’s that.


Plot—7¢

This is a story about being who you are, going for what you want and friendship. It isn’t a crazy maze of plot twists. It isn’t Jane Eyre. It is Ellen James. In the beginning of this novel, the main character suffers a humiliating blow to her heart and her ego. Instead of working through those issues, she chooses to booze it up with her best friend, get laid and live. That’s pretty damn true to what most women in that situation would eventually get around to, after they do the depressed bit- which she also does. It isn’t until she begins to feel what really love, fun and honest love, is like does she really start to see how different that kind of heartbreak would be.

The Infamous Ellen James is the crass and vulgar tale of a couple of people who fall in love for all the right reasons.
Main Characters—4¢

I adore Ellen, I can actually hear her speaking. I love swearing, I love being raunchy and (probably) offensive with my closest friends. I get that type of dialog. She felt like someone I would hang-out with. She drinks a little more than I do, but I’d try to keep up. I thought that the basis of her character being a nurse was original, as I have never read about one and that led to some funny situations in her day-to-day life. I love that she seems so brash on the outside and is so insecure and vulnerable on the inside. She’s great.

Trent is a wet dream. No, I think I have had wet dreams with this fictional character. While reading I always wanted more and more and more of him. He wasn’t that typical alpha, he wasn’t a bad-boy, he was just a smoking hot surgeon. He didn’t have too many un-likeable qualities, which should make him tops. I could have stood for a little rougher edge to him, or a crack in his shiny exterior. That’s probably because I’m a sick and am never satisfied… classic Mo.
Secondary Characters—4¢

Amy is eccentric and colorful and probably one of the best friends I’ve ever read. She’s loyal and she’d fight tooth and nail for Ellen. A lot like Ellen, which isn’t that far-fetched because they are best friends, she is blunt and isn’t too shy to those she’s close with. Lizzy was really interesting I dig her a lot. She’s the total opposite of dynamically sinful duo. She’s a bit up-tight, she is reserved and conservative. I thought her character added great contrast. I would love more secondary action in the next installment in series.
Setting—3¢

You guys know how I like travel. This book doesn’t have that element, specifically, but it doesn’t stand still at all either. There are many locations and scenes and all of them written really well. I would have loved to go to Seattle, maybe I can get a private Trent in Seattle prequel? A girl can dream and Christmas is coming. Again, I haven’t read many hospital romances so that atmosphere was new to me in a behind the scenes way.
Humor—5¢

I have the pleasure of knowing the rhythm of Ms. Alcorn’s banter and her phrasing when she speaks. That honestly gives me the advantage. But I love it. While reading, there were parts of the book that were WAY too true to my life, ehem, well sort of. I laughed all the time. I love that shocking, “OMG, whaaaa!” that sometimes happened when I read certain scenes. I can recall her telling me in shorthand, countless time, about something she was writing and would think “is she serious?” She was! It works for her style or writing and I can’t get enough. Plus, my text-to-read Kindle robot sounded fucking insane and I found it difficult to listen while driving.
Vocab—3¢

I loved the alliteration N.A. uses in terms of her genitalia and other’s equally private parts. It is explicit. However, I speak fluent shit ass fuck and it seemed like I was just listening to my foul mouth friend tell a story. That is probably the best part about how she writes. It’s written like a casual conversation. I’m drawn to that. She doesn’t underestimate her readers, but disguising words with too many elaborate words just to “sound” like a great writer. She writes honestly and I appreciate that.
A/R—5¢

This book had my attention for like seven months. So, it had my fucking attention. I thought about it before it was given to me to read. I was hand fed chapters here and there and I loved every morsel. I couldn’t wait for what was next. I would think about things I wanted to happen and then I would call N.A. subliminally hinting to make the story go my way. Sometimes it worked, sometimes not so much. In all, I have probably read this book nothing short of three times already.
Steam—4¢

This book is erotic. There. It has the all of it. You like bj’s? It’s in there. You like self-love? That is there, too. There isn’t much that isn’t in this book in terms of nookie. The scenes were hot. Trent is really hot. He’s sexy and he says all the right things. And I’m insanely jealous of Ellen’s nipples.
Value—4¢

The Infamous Ellen James is priced very fairly, $2.99. For a book that is a red-coochy hair shy of 300 pages, I think it is a very reasonable price-tag in today’s market for that genre. I’d buy it for that price and feel like I got a really fantastic deal. I got the best deal as I received, albeit at many stages, an ARC for my love and companionship… I mean my honest opinion.
Ending—4¢

This book can be read as a stand alone, because there isn’t a cliffhanger. I’m told, in confidence, that the next books in the series focus on other female characters that we meet in N.A. Alcorn’s debut novel. I loved the way it ended and especially since the last juicy chapter is in Trent’s POV. Yum. He’s a doll. The ending is HEA and I particularly loved Georgia. Anyone that doesn’t is a real wanger.

I will surely read more of this author, by choice or any other reality that is possible being friends with an author. If you like funny, romantic reads that are light on the drama and angsty I would defiantly recommend you choose this one next.

Also, there is a sneak peek at the end by some…I don’t know… crazy blogger turned first-time author that I really hope you like. Wink.

[❃**✿【Yasmine】✿**❃ · Rating 3 out of 5]

2.5 stupidly silly STARS

Genre: Hospital romance.
Cover: Doesn't match with what's inside 4/10
Writing style: 5/10
Heroine: 5/10
Hero: 8/10
Amount of humor: Though it didn't all make me laugh, it's full of it 10/10

I think I felt the same as most of the other readers; we wanted a dual POV. It starts with Trent's POV, and I kept on waiting for him to talk again :(

The setting was great, kind of 'Scrubs' style, the main characters are hospital workers. I liked Ellen's and Trent's characters. What really let it down for me was the humor. It was jam-packed of things that were supposed to be funny, but didn't really reach the spot. Some bits did really make me LOL, but those were few and far between. So while all these 'funny' things were going on, ALL THE TIME, I was just thinking 'yeah, ok, it's not really amusing, get to the story, I want to see Trent more, or actually find this funny.' The humor is crude and silly. Which I usually like, but it's far too silly. It went OTT to the point of not being funny and just being annoying. It made the book very difficult to finish. I might try the next book, depending on the reviews.

More story less silly please.

[Darcy · Rating 1 out of 5]

I really wanted to like this one, but the potty-mouthed childish humor did me in. I have read other books where I didn't mind this aspect, but maybe because these people are professional, nurses and doctors, it made me think less of them. I had a hard time with Ellen, her life was one big joke after another, with her at the butt end, this started to bother me. In the end this one just wasn't for me.

[Christie«SHBBblogger» · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5 dirty-minded stars

"My name is Ellen James. Elle for short. I'm ornery and sarcastic, and my favorite word has four letters, starts with an F, and ends with U, C, and K. I'm loud, obnoxious, and inappropriately honest. I have a girl crush on my yoga instructor and take pride in the fact that I can double plow. I promise it's a yoga position!"

What the actual fu*k just happened? I can honestly say I have never read a book like this-and I mean that in a good way. I've read book after book that has a strong, funny, and foul mouthed best friend. But the heroine AND the best friend....never. These girls are a riot. Put them together and you've got some interesting situations to read.(to say the least) Just when I thought they couldn't shock me more, they topped themselves. They could give Howard Stern a run for his money.



This is about Ellen James a hilarious chick with a dirty mind and an even dirtier mouth. She's an ER nurse and has sworn off doctors after she caught her doctor fiancé cheating on her in their bed. Little does she know that surgeon Trent has just moved to town and has his eye firmly set on her. He is one sexy, determined guy and pretty much ignored any feeble protests Ellen slings out. She's immediately attracted to him, but is hesitant to start anything with him because 1...he's a doctor. And 2....he's only there temporarily to fill in and then he'll be moving back to Seattle.



She really can't put up much of a fight because let me just say, he's absolutely perfect for her. Not too many would get her brand of sarcastic, crude humor and accept her just as she is but he loves every bit of her. He laughs at her dirty jokes, he's strong and knows how to handle her in a loving way, and he is one EFFING HOT doctor. God!



EXAMPLE #1:

“We're not leaving this room until I've fucked you senseless and you have to tell me to stop making you come. Because that's what I'm going to do. I'm going to make you come and come and come… and when you don't think it's possible to have another orgasm, I'm going to eat that delicious pussy like it's my last fucking meal and make you come again.”

EXAMPLE #2:

"Get that sexy ass naked and lying spread eagle on my bed. I'm starving and I know just what's on the menu."



Need I say more?

One of the things I loved about this book was that with all the humor packed into every page, usually that means that the steam factor is small to nonexistent. But man that is not the case here. You get the best of both worlds...blow you away, sexy, smoking hot sex AND humor. Romantic comedies are usually cute and funny, but this one had everything I loved in a steamy read and laugh out loud humor to boot! My only complaint was that in my opinion, there may have been a bit TOO many attempts at crazy and outrageous situations. There was some pretty outlandish stuff happening at times. But I could only take off half a star for that. The story was....Phenomenal. Ellen and Trent's interactions were so funny and touching. You really feel like they are the perfect complement and so completely right for each other.

"What filthy thoughts are rolling through that head of yours?”
“I have a suspicion that your cock is a superhero.” My face is blank, giving him zero inkling of my actual intent.
“My cock is a superhero.” Trent has his poker face on, which only encourages me to continue this conversation further.
“Yes, I know your cock is a superhero. What's your superhero cock's name?”
“Dr. Hammer.”

I absolutely loved Ellen and Trent's chemistry, their sense of humor, and their sweet side. What a unique, funny, and sexy read! Great Debut by Ms. N.A. Alcorn. I can't wait to read Amy's story this February!

"I'm falling in love with you too, sweetheart. I know you're scared, and I know the shit that dickless douchebag put you through has you doing everything in your power to never go through something like that again, but I'm not him, baby. Don't run from it. Fall with me. Be with me, Ellie. I want to give you every part of myself. I want to be the reason you wake up every day with a smile on your beautiful face. God, Ellie. You own me. You fucking have me by the balls and I don't even care."

[Ann · Rating 5 out of 5]

New author, first bk and you can bet I’ll be back for the next one.

Ellie: “And let me tell you, Trent is hands down the best sex I’ve ever had. He puts new meaning to the phrase, “Take me to Pound Town.”

I LOVE Trent Hamilton – Great trauma surgeon with a fun sense of humor, he’s witty, sexy, gorgeous with a hot bod and amazing blue eyes that have a bead on Ellen/Ellie/Elle. Everything the guy says and does it perfect, IMO. He thinks everything about his "Ellie girl" is perfect (sigh). Definitely on my bk boyfriend list and TIEJ will be on my list of best fun bks for 2013. Trent sees Ellen when she’s the presenter at a conference and definitely wants to get to know her. Poor Ellen experiences a major (funny) embarrassment in front of a room full of doctors and leaves immediately after her presentation. Trent wants her and sets his mind to go after her. I’m talking about across the country kinda go after her. Me, I’m clapping hands giddy with the excitement to come. My boy Trent (yes, he’s mine, I’m claiming him, Got it?!?) is ALL THAT ladies. Trent gets the POV for the prologue and the epilogue. Oh how I wish the author had given him more.

Ellie: “I hate sounding like a total douchebag sap, but I can’t help it. I’m blaming it on the Hamiltonian Effect.” Ann says: Me too Ellie, me too!

Now about Ellen….she’s an ER nurse who’s rude, crude, sarcastic and funny, drinks WAY too much and has a warm heart. She and best friend Amy almost run away with the first 30% of the bk but stick with it because oh after that 30% is when the Trent/Ellen story picks up. Well it’s actually around Chapter 14 (short chapters) which is fricking hilarious. As you can imagine, ER nurses get to see it all. LOL!!!

Just wait until you read Trent/Ellie's scene at the bar trading shots. OMG it's HOT!!!!!

Trent: “Don’t even think about getting my cock out before we get home or else I’ll pull over and fuck you in the bed of this truck, and I won’t give a shit who sees us.”
Ellie: “If that doesn’t make you cream your panties, I’m not sure what would.”

While it’s raunchy funny there’s a surprising bit of drama at about the 80% mark I didn’t expect and a bit of angst. Not a lot, some. Not enough to set me on edge (hate the angst) because I knew it was leading up to the goods.

Trent: “Don’t run from it. Fall with me. Be with me, Ellie. I want to give you every part of myself. I want to be the reason you wake up every day with a smile on your beautiful face. God, Ellie. You own me, You fucking have me by the balls and I don’t even care”.
Ann says: I’m telling you Trent Hamilton OWNS ME!!!!

Have I mentioned how much I like this bk?!?!

Ellie: “This is the biggest, most romantic gesture anyone has ever done for me. This is Jerry McGuire on steroids. This is un-fucking-believable. This man deserves a thousand blow jobs for this.”

Yep there’s a great HEA. Nice epilogue too. Thrilled to know that Amy is the heroine for bk 2 and their meet is here in bk 1. Amy, that stubborn little shit. Yep, Amy’s guy James is a doc too. He’s got the potential to be as awesomely wonderful as Trent. Ohhh how I can’t wait for Feb 2014 to read more. Where there’s Amy there will be Trent/Ellie – YIPPEEE!!! But I just want more NOW. I’m telling you all….read this bk! And N.A. Alcorn, you’ve got yourself a fan.

[Lady Heather · Rating 4 out of 5]

It took awhile to adjust to the crude and sometimes over the top things that the main character (Ellen) and her best friend (Amy) would say to one another in most of their dialogue, but once I did I really enjoyed this story.
Ellen is an ER nurse at one of Charlotte's busiest hospitals.
She's sassy, smart, compassionate, and has a 'no bullshit' way of saying things.
In order to deal with the incredible stress and things she sees everyday she has a potty mouth, a love a tequila and posting embarrassing videos of herself on YouTube while drunk.
... oh ya, she also walked in on her fiancee (who is a Doctor at the same hospital as her) and a co-worker having sex in her bed ... which called for her potty mouth, drinking copious amounts of tequila and posting embarrassing videos of herself on YouTube.
...and swearing off dating Doctor's.

Enter Dr. Trent Hamilton who first sees Ellen at a medical conference. Ellen is doing a presentation on her hospitals emergency room procedures.
Right away he's enamored with her, and has the opportunity to take a temporary offer to overseeing a fellow surgeons practice because of an accident he's recovering from.

Ellen is attracted to Trent but is terrified of being hurt again, and Trent started out with just wanting to sleep with Ellen but ends up falling head over heels in love with her.

Will Ellen let down her walls and let Trent in?

Read this wonderful story and find out.

[Jamie · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was f'king great!!!!!..LOVED IT!!!! So hilarious and heartfelt and dreamy and awkward and fun and sexy and....I could go on and on and on...Hate it's over :( but can't wait for Amy and James's story!!

[Dawn · Rating 5 out of 5]

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I am not one to recommend a book…I am always a little worried they may not like it and a LOT worried that if they don’t I just can’t be friends with them anymore…this book, this book right here makes me want to scream from the roof-tops “read this fucking book” and if you don’t like it…lose my number cuz we can’t be friends!

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I loved everything about this story…the humor, the friendship, the heart-ache and the doctor! Humor is my Achilles heal, my list of who I would leave my hubs for (if given a chance) reads like a comedy scene..Will Ferrell, Vince Vaughn, Ryan Reynolds, Justin Timberlake (Dick in a box) and Channing (last two also for dance moves) so the comedy, one-liners and sarcastic wit in this book had me spit diet coke, choke on a bagel and laugh so loudly I scared the shit out of my 8 year old…there should be a fucking warning label! WAIT..there is a warning.." Warning: This novel contains explicit sex, profanity and far too much vaginal humor. This novel is not meant for anti-fornicators, up-tight prudes, or virgins who refuse to go to Pound Town" Fucking LOVE IT..back to regularly scheduled review..

If being honest parts of this book could have come straight from conversations I have had with Tara, so the narcissistic personality in me was straight swooning! WV 2014!!

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Between the harlem shake scene, the initial slide-show picture meet and the masturbating blocking was also heart, bonds and friendships that stand the test of time and tequila! If you have a sense of humor, dabble or master in sarcasm, and like to end your day with a Happy Ending you will love this book…it stands proudly in my favorites shelf and I CAN’T wait to read about Amy, have a feeling I may even love her more!

[J · Rating 5 out of 5]

HOLY SHIT!!! YOU HAVE TO READ THIS ONE!

I HAVE NEVER LAUGHED SOOOOO HARD

Teaser 18+ ...

" Nothing can bring out your inner-psycho-bitch like seeing your spouse's cock inside another woman.
The only thing that could have made that situation better is if it would have broadcasted on that show Cheaters. I would have found a decent amount of sick- and- twisted enjoyment out of seeing John, butt-assed naked and begging for my forgiveness while sporting a raging erection with his whore's pussy juice dripping off of it...."

OH
MY
GOD
OH
MY
GOD
Thats GOLD!

Add it now!
So freaking good!
Review to Come....

[Assenette · Rating 5 out of 5]

5 OHMYGODILOVEDIT Stars!

Wow! Ellie and Trent = ah-mazing together!



Hilarious friendship between Ellie and Amy and their shenanigans were something else.


I wish I was better at putting a review together because I know right now I'm not doing it any justice. It was just awesome. I cannot wait to read Amy's book!

[Tessa · Rating 3 out of 5]

I went into this book wanting something funny. Sadly, this book was a little too over the top for me in the humor department. I did laugh a few times (Golfing, lightbulbs, and naked fighting come to mind), but for the most part, for me, it was just too crass.

That said, I did think their relationship was sweet and there were so many cute moments that made my heart pound. When the two friends are there being themselves and the H just smiles and enjoys their personality. The little "stash clicks" she'd make of him that were so sweet and true. Usually his smile. I actually wish there were more of those.

So all in all, not bad, but not what I was wanting either. The humor was too crude for me personally, but the sweetness definitely made up for it.

[Auhmanduh · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 stars

This book started off as a 5 star for me, I mean come on… with an intro like this

” Every once in a while, someone will catch your eye. Someone you can’t seem to get out of your head – a once-in-a-lifetime kind of girl. A girl who makes you feel like a complete pussy for even entertaining the idea of love at first sight, and sometimes it takes you off guard so much that you might even have to reach down and make sure your balls are still intact”

I think every husband has felt this way. Love does that to you. Add the embarrassing moment and you know it’s going to be good!

And then it just went downhill. In the Authors defense she did say that the main character was crude and highly inappropriate and she was speaking the absolute truth; Ellie can hold her own with any sailor that is a definite. Not only that but holy sh!t these two nurses drink more tequila than a family of Mexican’s on Cinco De Mayo (hey, I can say this, I’m half Mexican).

This book was hard for me to finish. The struggle was real.
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Ellie comes home from a Nursing conference to find her Fiancé (whom she works with) in bed with a co-worker. Tough blow. So, like any civilized human being, she did what anyone would do to get over it. Drink… with her best friend… every night… for 3 plus months.

I felt like her and her best friend are bi-polar. They’re RN’s, Nurses They go to work save people’s lives; and then immediately head to the bar to get shit pissed drunk. BLACK OUT drunk, make youtube video’s drunk. Kicked out of the bar drunk and then go to work hung over.

Huh?


I get it though, she was suffering until Dr. Thrust Me came along. Add in some “holy sh!t did that just happen” and you have yourself a story.

There were some definitely laugh out loud moments, but I found myself rolling my eyes a lot and feeling like some of the humor was forced.

Some quotes I loved when Ellie got her shit together

”In order to get what you really want, you have to take your balls in your hand and put yourself out there, vulnerable and exposed…”

In the end, not my cuppa. I ended up skimming a lot (over all the cussing and drinking)which made me sad because I actually enjoyed the writing style. Doubt I will pick up Amy’s story, but I am interested to see what this author will produce in the future.

Happy Reading!

”Every happy ending starts with a bumpy ride, a rough journey. That beginning will most likely throw some unexpected surprises your way, but in the end, it’ll all be worth it.”

[Sleepless Readmore · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.25 INFAMOUS STARS

Trent .. TRENT HAMILTON ... & Ellen James ♥ ♥

Don't run from it. Fall with me. Be with me, Ellie. I want to give you every part of myself. I want to be the reason you wake up every day with a smile on your beautiful face.."

Every once in a while, someone will catch your eye.

Someone you can't seem to get out of your head
—a once-in-a-lifetime kind of girl.
A girl who makes you feel like a complete p*ssy for even entertaining the idea of love at first sight,

and sometimes it takes you off guard so much that you might even have to reach down and make sure your balls are still intact.."

The only regret I have? .. is WHY oh WHY did I not read sooner?! I can honestly say it's been a lot of books since I laughed so hard!!! I adored Ella .. but of course not as much as Trent *swoon* talk about PERFECTION. A surgeon? .. doesn't get any better than THAT, props to Ellie for scoring with that. They are absolutely a compatible match and I loved them together!! I flew right through it so I do recommend if your looking for a fast read and I definitely am ready to dive into the next one. N.A. Alcorn is a GENIUS and I am looking forward to reading more of her talented work.

- Sleepless, Readmore.
The Infamous Ellen JamesN.A. Alcorn

[Mandy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Hands down, this is the funniest book. Ever. Trent Hamilton has to be about the most perfect book boyfriend. Yes, he's surpassing Cam Hamilton (no relation) as the captain of my book boyfriend baseball team. He's hot, funny as hell, sweet, sexy and all around a great guy. And Ellen, well you just want to hang out with her and Amy 24/7. They have to be the funniest ball busting chicks around. I've said this before, but this book is even more funny than Tangled. Can't wait to read the next in the series.

[ZOEY]

The repetition! GAH!



I mean honestly if it was properly edited without the constant reminder of a thing that happened ten pages ago it would have been bearable.

I don't suffer from amnesia.
If I did- I could have read through this.

[Nancy❤The❤Bookaholic · Rating 3 out of 5]

The first word that comes to mind when I think of Ellen James is,  RECKLESS. She also has a love/hate relationship with tequila. Her and her BFF, Amy, are like two peas in a pod. They have no filter. I can see, Ellen doesn't learn her lesson of doing stupid things when she consumes alcohol. 



It seemed like the author used every word you can think of for the word vagina. Snatch, muf, under carriage, skittles, oysters. I felt like the humor was a bit forced. It felt like she was trying too hard to be funny and in return it became a bit annoying. 



I think one of the reasons why I didn't enjoy this more is because I'm a little conventional and the things Ellen and Amy did in public would embarrass me and piss me off. Like, acting drunkenly loud and obnoxious at a company event. 





Did Trent Hamilton save the book for me? Eh, he was ok. Their relationship seemed rushed. They went on one date and all of a sudden she was talking about being in love with him. So overall, this book was just OK for me. Nothing to write home about and nothing that left a memorable impression. They can't all be 5 stars. 

[Dali · Rating 4 out of 5]

Calling Dr. Beautiful! Is Dr. Thurst Me in the house? Or even his superhero piece of equipment Dr. Hammer? No? Because even if you don’t have a humor induced emergency you’ll want him with you.

You know that when a book has a warning after a blurb like the one attached to this book you need to either brace yourself or just jump ahead to your next book. I’m really glad I jumped in, even when at first the random dry, obnoxious, mocking and embarrassing situations were a bit too arbitrary and inconsequential to the main plot. But oh my! Did it make me laugh out loud, smile, swoon, and fear of spontaneously combusting.

Once you meet both the main characters, one adorably graceless with a sarcastic wit that keeps you laughing with her foul mouth and crazy inner monologues, one sexy, funny, and caring guy and who manages to embrace Elle’s frequent displays of awkwardness, their banter will keep you engaged and won’t let you put the book down until the very end.

I highlighted so much of the book because laughter and blushing wasn’t just caused by interactions between characters, sometimes it was with alternate descriptors to girly parts or crazy situations with other characters in the book.

“I'm obviously a very deep thinker. Naming my vibrator after a hot surgeon I just met a few days ago is a testament to that.”

There was a situation almost at the end that you could see coming but I really didn’t expect it because it gave the book seriousness and depth and put a strain on Trent and Ellen’s relationship and on Ellen’s outlook on life which wasn’t consistent with the levity of the rest of the book. But I’m glad for it, because once that bridge was crossed, it gave a very satisfying strength and power to their bond.
I also need to mention Amy, Ellen’s best friend. She was an integral part the story’s hilarity and can’t wait to read her story.

4.5 amazing stars

[Natalee Grimaldi · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5 stars :)
In N.A. Alcorn’s debut romantic comedy, be ready with an extra pair of undies because you’re most definitely going to pee your pants from excess laughter.

I don’t know where she comes up with some of these things—actually, I do from countless conversations—but I swear you’ll be laughing your ass off from the very first page.

The Infamous Ellen James follows well, Ellen James, an E.R. nurse with a lot of spunk that gets herself in a lot of crazy situations. Bouncing back from heartbreak, the last thing she’s looking for is another guy to fall in love with. But life has other plans for her when a new doctor moves to town.

I really, really enjoyed this book—and I’m not just saying that. It was easy to read(though the writing felt a bit stiff in certain parts, but I think it’s because I read an unedited version), the storyline flowed really well, and I was engaged the entire time. From start to finish, I was hooked! Plus, it helped that Trent Hamilton, the dreamy doctor, had me at hello.

A wonderfully humorous love story with just enough raunchiness. I loved that Ellen wasn’t this dainty heroine afraid of letting loose a string of profanities. It just made her that much more real.

You all should definitely add this one to your TBRs…stat!

[Nikki · Rating 5 out of 5]

Through this whole book I was



I freaking loved it! I was in a book funk and couldn't find the right book to save my life. I did the whole request recommendation thing and a friend (Thanks Tessa!!) rec'd this to me. I started it and from page one I was hooked. I laughed so hard I had tears in my eyes! I'm now in love with Trent Hamilton and his superhero cock! Elle and Amy were hilarious and I don't think I've ever so many different names for the vagina! Definitely learned a few things there... ;) Chock full of crude humor, sexy times, one hot surgeon and a snarky, sassy nurse that had me in tears from laughing too much! I loved this author's writing style and her imagination is the shit. I'm eagerly awaiting the release for Amy's book!

[Juewelz - SMIBookClub · Rating 4 out of 5]

*** 4 1/2 stars ***

If you follow my reviews you know the elements that I enjoy in books .High angst, HOT alpha, feisty heroine and my favorite lots of drama. I tend to shy away from the romantic comedies. They are my favorite movies to watch but in books I just didn’t have the interest to read comedies .

And along came… The Infamous Ellen James. This book showed me I have been depriving myself and I need to add more romantic comedies to my TBR list. So if you have any book suggestions for me let me know!

Take the authors warning seriously.

This book is all that and more.

–> Warning: This novel contains explicit sex, profanity and far too much vaginal humor. This novel is not meant for anti-fornicators, up-tight prudes, or virgins who refuse to go to Pound Town.

You ever reply to a text LOL but your not LOL. You just say it because its the polite thing to do when your friend says a corny joke that went over your head? While reading The Infamous Ellen James I literally was LOL, hardy freaking har har while reading because some parts were just off the wall funny! At times i’d find myself at work LMAO and having to explain that I was reading something that was just too funny for a chuckle. The Infamous Ellen James is filled with some stupid, silly and funny moments I couldn’t help but laugh while flapping my hands in the air.

You know the crazy conversations you have with your girlfriends about your man, menstrual period, work, facial hair , your sex life and maybe even the occasional rant about nothing but something only a good girlfriend would understand. Yea, that is exactly what happens in The Infamous Ellen James. Ellen , Ellie or even Ellie girl (if your nasty) and her BFF Amy. Are so flipping funny. They need their own segment on saturday night live. The producers of Bridesmaids need to cast them in a movie. They are THAT freaking hilarious.

Ellen just broke up with her ex cheating ass fiance and is going through the motions of getting over an ex.

Which includes all of these things but in no particular order; occasional month long spans of one night stands, consuming an obscene amount of tequila on a daily basis and listening to Adele. LOL

Until Trent. When Ellen meets Trent things start to look a little different for her.

I really enjoyed the romantic relationship in this book. There wasn’t any major dramatic issue between the couple. And they actually did things in a “traditional” kind of way which is different for most books. They dated. Like actually went on dates. Continued to live in different apartments, didn’t move in together after the second date. There was cute playful jealousy but since these characters were mature 28+ (which I also enjoyed) year olds they weren’t having silly banter about needing to be together 24/7 despite having “real life” jobs, friends and other obligations to deal with. I enjoyed the flow and the character development.

However the reason I could not give this book 5 whole star ratings was because the POV. The Infamous Ellen James starts off in Trent’s POV which I freaking LOVED

” Every once in a while, someone will catch your eye. Someone you can’t seem to get out of your head – a once-in-a-lifetime kind of girl. A girl who makes you feel like a complete pussy for even entertaining the idea of love at first sight, and sometimes it takes you off guard so much that you might even have to reach down and make sure your balls are still intact”

I am not sure why this did not carry on throughout the book? I am also a little confused by the epilogue which said book 2 will be Ellen’s story. I feel like we heard and read Ellen’s story in book 1. Now it’s time for us to get to know Trent because after the prologue and chapter one we do not get his POV. Which would have been awesome in this book to read alternating POV chapters because both characters were equally funny.

Another thing was the plot twist being a romantic comedy book the twist kind of through me for a loop.It adds a new element to the book that all of a sudden has you feeling #ShitJustGotSerious and it does. I think that situation could of happened a little sooner which would have helped illustrate the love the characters have for each other. Since we mainly heard from Ellen it was hard to pinpoint why Trent loved her so much. Especially after reading what his original intentions were with his relationship with Ellie Girl were.

Overall I was very pleased with this book and I think you will be too! I highly suggest this book to anyone in a book funk looking for something different. The Infamous Ellen James is the book funk hangover! Happy Reading!

SMIBookClub recieved an ARC from the author in exchange for an honest review.
-Laters, Juewelz

[Jessica's Book Review · Rating 3 out of 5]

I am back and forth for my review of The Infamous Ellen James. First let me say this book is hilarious. I was laughing so hard at some scenes and the book certainly kept me entertained the entire time as I read. With that said; I was also finding myself wishing there was a bit more of the story sometimes than all the jokes.

The Infamous Ellen James started off really strong, as soon as I read the prologue which is written in Trent’s POV I was hooked and couldn’t put down the book. Trent first sees Ellen at a conference in Nashville. They do not talk but playboy Trent takes an immediate interest to Ellen and finds out what hospital she works at and where. Than as chapter one starts the books is in Ellen’s POV. She is a nurse in the ER at a hospital in North Carolina and just broke up with her fiancé who she caught cheating on her… (freakin’ hilarious scene by the way Ellen now lives with her equally hilarious and totally inappropriate nurse & best friend Amy. The two ladies work hard but party even harder. They are always up for a good time.

Here comes Trent who decided to take a long-term fill in position at Ellen’s ER and has moved from Seattle for about three months. He wants to hook up with Ellen BAD… obviously he moved to North Carolina just to bang her. This is about when the book changes for me and my thoughts go back and forth. The first time Trent and Ellen see each other they make out in a supply closet in the hospital. She has NO idea who he is besides the new doctor, yet she makes out with him and dry humps him? After that they build a friendship/flirtation and there is a bit of a build up before they bang but I just didn’t like the immediate meeting between the two.

Their romance is fun and sweet. I did enjoy the characters a lot and Ellen & Amy together made for the best scenes! This is a great romance if you are looking for something easy, fun, and light hearted. The ending was packaged a little too nicely for me but it was a great read for me after finishing a heavy emotional book before this. Like I said I am back and forth because the story is funny and good characters but I wanted more of a story than the jokes at times.

I give The Infamous Ellen James (The Infamous Series #1) 3.5 Stars.

Book provided by the author in return for an honest review.




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[Nathi *Shut it and let me read* · Rating 5 out of 5]

5 OMG-I-CAN'T-wait-to-read-more-from-this-author stars!
Ok, now THIS was a HUGE surprise!!
I wasn't exciting much from it, but I was just stunned after!



What an amazing, FUN, romantic and SEXY book was this!!
I got blown away by this author!! And oh, is a stand-alone! (with secondary characters getting their own books next)
it had the same SUPER/EXTREMALY fun feeling from Wallbanger and Seduction and Snacks that I love to death!

Here we have a great amazingly well written female character in Ellen James! Sassy, funny, super sarcastic but still vulnerable and relatable. A perfect mix to me to cheer for a female heroine!
Ohhh, did I say that with the doctors scenario here we get a little bit of a feeling of Grey's Anatomy? Yeppppp!

From the prologue that starts amazing with the epilogue that ends in a even more amazing way you get hooked in this book!
Obviously that books that starts with a Prologue and end with an Epilogue are already gaining bonus points from me because I loveeeee Prologues and Epilogues. I actually believe they are essential to a full comprehension of a book.

Here we have Ellen James, a nurse, sassy, fun, ubber sarcastic that after been cheated by her fiancè that sort of crushed her romantics dreams of a HEA, decides to not fall in love for a while.
Let me tell you... Ellen James is a force of nature and something to be recon!
When you put her together with Amy (her BFF) you will be laughing hysterically with this book!



Such as Wallbanger and Snacks and Seduction, you better not go out with this book and face the risk of public humiliation with laughing out loud.

Ohhhh, have I talked about he male supper hottie from this book? Yep, Doctor Trent Hamilton or Dr. Beautiful, Dr. Thrust Me (Mc Dreamy-lus-hottie for me too)


TO SUM UP:
This is a super fun, insanely hot, romantic with a ridiculous fantastic secondary character with Amy that will keep you already drooling for her book that is next!
A perfect romantic fun light read!!!

[Jess · Rating 3 out of 5]

I was originally going to give the book 2.5 stars, but that adorable ending bumps it up to 3 stars. It was not a terrible book, but the overuse of the word "cunt" and the main character's obsession with vaginas eventually got annoying.
The romance was barely developed. It was too rushed. Instead, there were a lot of random insignificant moments near the beginning that had no real impact on the main plot. You don't really see either of the characters fall in love. There were some moments here and there, but basically it was like sexsexsexsex, then suddenly, oh hey, I love this dude!
Also, some (not all) of the author's attempts at being funny, was just kind of stupid. Like the superhero dick thing, using "dickhead" and "cunt" as friendship endearments, actually calling people "labia-face" (seriously, who does that?) and the hospital asshole shit...I don't know, those got old real fast.
But if you're looking for a light, sorta funny read, with very little intense content, you've hit the jackpot with this one!

[Natalie ~ The Biblioholic · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was absolutely hilarious!! I laughed my ass off so much people looked at me like I was crazy!!

The relationship between Ellen and Amy is the kind of never-ending friendship we all are looking for. These women were so much fun. At no time did I want to throw my iPad. There were no instances of TSTL. They were amazingly funny and I couldn't get enough of them.

The relationship between Ellen and Trent is an amazing story of love. I loved Trent. He was glorious!! I loved how he was the perfect match for her. Although she had some hesitance based on a broken heart, they made it work! They were just wonderful together and I want more!! That epilogue was beautiful and I'm so excited for them.

The only negative or downside of this story was schizophrenic Frank. Luckily that scene was mercifully short and we could easily get back to the great love story that is Ellen and Trent. I'm anxious to read about Amy. I really liked her and I'm hoping I get to see more of Ellen and Trent too.