Managing Yourself and Others

Quality Software #3.1

by Gerald M. Weinberg

Becoming an effective manager is the subject of this volume in Gerald M. Weinberg's highly acclaimed series, Quality Software.<br>To be effective, managers must act congruently. Managers must not only understand the concepts of good software engineering, but also translate them into their own practices. Effective managers need to know what to do, say what they will do, and act accordingly. Their thoughts and feelings need to match their words and behaviors.<br>Congruence has the sense of "fitting" —in this case, simultaneously fitting your own needs, the needs of the other people involved, and the contextual, or business, needs. Managers themselves must take responsibility for improving the quality of management and for changing their own attitudes and thinking patterns before they attempt to impose changes on everyone else.<br>As the author advises, "If you cannot manage yourself, you have no business trying to manage others." This book offers practical advice on how to act, and how to manage others congruently. Examples, diagrams, models, practice suggestions, and tools s fortify the author's recommendations.<br>Topics include:<br>• learning to manage yourself<br>• why congruence is essential for managing<br>• choosing to undertake management<br>• identifying the various styles of coping, especially under stress<br>• moving from incongruence to congruence<br>• managing others<br>• learning the manager's job<br>• identifying differences in preferences and temperament<br>• making use of differences as assets<br>• spotting patterns of incongruence<br>• understanding the role of self-esteem<br>• mastering the technology of human behavior

Genres: Management, Business, Leadership, Technology, Nonfiction, Psychology

241 pages, Kindle Edition

First published January 28, 2011

About the author

Gerald Marvin Weinberg (October 27, 1933 – August 7, 2018) was an American computer scientist, author and teacher of the psychology and anthropology of computer software development.

Reviews

[Ted Hogan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Insightful

This is probably the best book I have read yet on management. While the psychological underpinnings are open to question, the overall advice is sound. The focus on deeper thinking about people is significant and eye opening, not because it was unknown to me, but because I have not seen it communicated in such a manner externally before.

[Ismayil Aliyev · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you cannot manage yourself, you have no business managing others.

This book uncovers the secrets to conquering incongruence that a lot of bad "managers" suffer from.

- You are given the examples of incongruent behaviors (blaming, placating, superreasonable, love/hate)
- You are made aware of the root cause for incongruent actions (fear and insecurities)
- Your job as a manager is to raise your self-esteem
- From this platform of self-love and assuredness, you will then eliminate your incongruent patterns of behaviors.

This was literally a life-changing book for me, as it helped me face all of my insecurities.

This book reaches far beyond the business world and can be easily applied to everyday life for dealing with the whole society around you.

I would like to emphasize how expertly the author guides you:
Unlike the droves of pop-psychology and business-guide books that simply state the bloody vague and obvious things like "Do the good things", "Don't do the bad things" - you are actually given a set of examples, definitions, root causes, exercises and roadmaps to define the problem, solve it, and follow the appropriate modes of behavior.

Weinberg was heavily inspired by Virginia Satir, in fact the book contains several of her models and methodologies.
So if you enjoy her work as well, then more than likely this book will resonate.

[Johnny · Rating 3 out of 5]

Communication is important, but opens many traps for misunderstanding and wrong interpretation. The topic covered in this part of the Quality Software series is therefore vital. Gerald Weinberg offers many good points on how to first look at yourself before you go out and try to change others. However, Thomas Gordon wrote in Leader Effectiveness Training L.E.T.: The Proven People Skills for Today's Leaders TomorrowLeader Effectiveness Training an even better guide that goes much deeper into the topic.

[Bonnie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Best book of the year so far for me.