Test Kitchen

by Neil D.A. Stewart

Test Kitchen is set during a single evening's service at the Michelin-starred restaurant everyone's talking about, Midgard.

As Midgard's newest waitress, Australian born Marley is glad to have found a kind of family among the 'brigade' there. Like any family, however, it is dysfunctional. And by the looks of things this evening, possibly even lethal . . .

A violent event - an event she is struggling to piece together - has befallen Marley. She can't move. She can't speak. All she can do is observe the restaurant tonight, seeing but unseen. As she strains to recall what might have happened to her, she can only witness the tragedy that is about to unfurl in this hallowed space normally so meticulously run by Joanna, Midgard's famed yet unknowable head chef . . .

Tense and moreish, Test Kitchen offers a deliciously dark insight into the goings-on behind the scenes in the kitchen, as well as eavesdropping in on the dramas of the diners who are lucky - or unlucky - enough to have booked a table at Midgard on this fateful night. Test Kitchen is a gripping, funny and often macabre story about the culture of food, of dining and eating, about feeding and nourishing, about mothers, mortality and magic.

Genres: Horror, Fiction, Mystery, Contemporary

304 pages, Kindle Edition

First published July 4, 2024

About the author

Neil D.A. Stewart was born in Glasgow in 1978 and lives in London. He was educated at the University of Glasgow and holds an MA in Creative Writing from the University of East Anglia. He is the arts editor of the online magazine Civilian and works as a freelance proofreader for Tate Publishing. The Glasgow Coma Scale is his first novel.

Reviews

[Kate O'Shea · Rating 5 out of 5]

Test Kitchen reminded me, at times, of Japanese literary fiction. It has all the hallmarks of the strangeness often encountered there.

The novel is centred around Midgard, THE restaurant to go, from its experimental flavours and the innovative servings to the living ash tree in the centre of the dining area, everyone wants to go there. The story itself takes place on a Tuesday night - traditionally the dead night of most restaurants but not Midgard which is booked up months in advance.

The story is told from the peculiar point of view of one of the waitstaff but also that of the customers that night. It moves from one to the other seamlessly making it seem as though everything happens simultaneously. Its an intriguing formula and I really enjoyed it. The story told by Marley unfolds so deliciously slowly you feel like you know exactly what's coming but there are some twists along the way. Test Kitchen is much darker than I was expecting but it's all the better for that. Highly recommended.

Thankyou to Netgalley and Little, Brown Book Group UK for the advance review copy.

[Rebecca · Rating 3 out of 5]

Midgard is a fine dining restaurant with a tree in the middle whose multiple small courses evoke childhood memories and disguise one foodstuff as another. The London establishment earned two Michelin stars and has a perpetual waiting list, but as a news piece at the start presages, it will be forced to close its doors within five years after a series of disasters. Every other chapter introduces another set of diners, table by table: a first date, a reunion of old friends, a 12-year-old foodie trying to forestall his parents’ divorce, a restaurant critic and her freeloading acquaintances, and a solitary man who should really get that face wound seen to.

Many of these situations aren’t what they seem; the same goes for the intervening glimpses into the kitchen. Our host for these is Marley, the most recently hired waitress, who fled a chaotic home life in Melbourne. She didn’t show for work today; she’s in hiding, yet knows everything about the staff dynamics so is a perfect tour guide. There’s a mixture of nerves and bravado running through the kitchen as dinner starts. A knife accident, a food allergy, and a champagne cork hitting a customer are only the beginning of the evening’s mishaps. While I was initially drawn to the structure, which is almost like a linked short story collection, and I can’t resist a restaurant setting, the narrative trickery and the way that the mood evolves from slapstick to grotesque put me off. I enjoyed individual vignettes, but the whole didn’t come together as satisfyingly as in Sweetbitter or Service, among others.

Originally published on my blog, Bookish Beck.

[Tracey Murray · Rating 4 out of 5]

Loved it. Intriguing & frustrating. Fascinating. Still not sure about a lot of stuff 🤔
Ending was not what I expected. Maybe that’s a good thing, but I wanted more.

[Kerrie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Giving this 4 stars because it is some of the best writing I have read and I was/still am so intrigued by the strange mood it evoked and the fate of many of the characters. Some incredibly detailed but entertaining character building (especially of the guests) and many cracking one liners, analogies, turns of phrase, and plot twists.

Not giving this 5 stars because it failed to deliver a knock out punch for me. Some of the themes were not fully explored and some of the storylines were underdeveloped. I found this especially the case for the main protagonist whose story seemed to get lost in amongst those of the guests. I am left with a lot of questions and while that adds to the mystery and intrigue, it has left me feeling somewhat unsatisfied that it didn't all come together in the end.

Warning for squeamish readers - this does take some macabre and grotesque turns.

[Jayne Southern · Rating 4 out of 5]

Wildly imaginative (and I do mean wildly), the fertile creativity shared in ‘Test Kitchen’ is a Big Dipper of a read. Exhilarated by the writing and laugh-aloud descriptions, the humour at times is more than dark – shocking, but perfectly captured. The glorious and original analogies will stay with you, as will the emotional pain that punctures the narration. There are a goodly number of characters with interesting stories, though at times, the unformatted and unidentified scene changes threw me off kilter, as did some of the headhopping. Overall, it was a terrific and exciting read , quite unlike anything I have read before, blended with craft, guile and originality.

[Audrey · Rating 1 out of 5]

Not everyone was made to write novels, and that’s okay! This author should stick to only writing descriptions of food.

What the fuck was the point of this book?

[Violaine · Rating 3 out of 5]

I think the most important thing here is that the writing is gorgeous, ESPECIALLY the descriptions of food. I couldn’t read too much at once because it kept making me so hungry.
I loved how strange it was and the constant shifts in mood alongside the different plot twists. I loved the setting and I felt like it had a lot to say.
That aside, it also felt a little confused. The repeated snapshots of the different tables and customers lives took away attention from the main story while not really being long and deep enough to be that impactful on their own - I did enjoy them but I didn’t spend enough time with any of them for them to be that memorable.
Maybe it wasn’t the book, maybe it was just me, and I need to reread it to understand better but either I missed something or there are just too many hidden hints and convoluted explanations for the book as a whole to make a ton of sense, and work as anything more than a very fun and intriguing concept and atmosphere.

[Zinnia · Rating 3 out of 5]

Brilliant in places, unbearable in others

[Kelly · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book! It’s just, chef’s kiss 👌

Every single time I thought I knew where this absolute feast of a novel was taking me, it would change direction or switch to another character and leave me reeling. It was incredible, Stewart teaches a masterclass on how to leave a trail of delectable breadcrumbs as he flawlessly interweaves the lives and dramas of the staff and diners with a mystery element surround a not-quite-but-also-very missing member of the waiting team.

Full review on my instagram @kellmcrae_reads

[Vicky davies · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have never read anything quite like this before. I was so invested in the story, or stories, I could read another book with everyone in it. Thanks to Corsair and ‘all about the indies’ for the proof.

[Nicole C · Rating 2 out of 5]

A book that had a lot of potential that ultimately went nowhere. The concept / structure is interesting — a night unfolding in a Michelin-starred restaurant in London, told through the lens of the employees who work there, as well the various diners, with each chapter dedicated to one table… tension building was excellent but my god, there was far too much going on, you begin to wonder what the point of each ‘micro’ story is when you get to table 5 and how these diners tie into the broader plot - spoiler - they don’t. Storytelling was chaotic and convoluted, just far too ADHD jumpy. While deeply immersive there were too many plot twists that made zero sense and the book ended far too abruptly, with too many loose ends. Am all for creativity but this felt overly gluttonous and unnecessary and juvenile.

[David Innes · Rating 3 out of 5]

The writing kind of spoiled my enjoyment of this one.

There’s a lot I liked about it. I liked the linked short story structure, I liked the unfolding mystery, and I really liked all the weird surreal stuff that was going on.

But the actual writing was hard work. It felt unfocused, or first draftish, or something; it felt like it should have been much more tightly edited.

On paper this is exactly my kind of novel and I was expecting to love it; but it was a bit of a slog to get through.

[Ari · Rating 2 out of 5]

woah this was something else- in a bad way. i was totally catfished into thinking this would be an interesting book/perspective on working in the restaurant industry but it was literally a whole bunch of nonsense. i honestly have no idea what i just read- so many irrelevant characters, diverging plots, and questions raised for no reason or conclusions. really had to force myself to finish this one. annoyed at it!

[George Law · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thoroughly enjoyed this one with its nods to the culinary world, intriguing characters and east London haunts. It reads with a good flow and is darkly humorous and inviting. I shall say no more, just give it a read even if a taster or sample first

[diamond · Rating 1 out of 5]

I'm really, really wanted to like this book. The premise is exciting, the book cover is gorgeous and the description of food is enticing yet the actually story is exhausting. The way in which the writing is put forward, alongside a rather clumsy storytelling style makes it extremely hard to get invested in and even harder to enjoy.

I can see what the writer was trying to do, however it really did not work for me at all. It feels all over the place and it's largely due to the writing.

[Leonie · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5*
I have never read anything quite like this before. The story (or better said the stories) are really complex and I loved the setting. The vibe was very threatening and there were some really fine twists.
However, the ending fell a bit flat for me and left me with a lot of questions. Maybe worth a re-read some time.

[Simon S. · Rating 3 out of 5]

Midgard is a cutting-edge, Michelin-starred London restaurant with a waiting list that stretches for months. Tensions are always high behind the kitchen doors, but tonight things are running hotter than usual. The newest member of staff, Marley, hasn’t turned up, leaving the formidable head chef Joanna short-staffed and fraying at the edges as the first diners arrive.

Front of house isn’t much calmer. For most guests this is a once-in-a-lifetime experience. Expectations are sky-high, nerves on edge, petty squabbles fizz, and larger issues start to fester under the pressure of good manners and expensive wine.

But Marley isn’t absent. She’s stuck—impossibly—in the kitchen itself. Unseen but all-seeing, she bears uneasy witness to the escalating strangeness of the evening, and begins to piece together the missing hours since her last shift.

The staff—Marley’s found family of sorts—have their own fraught dynamics. They work together just well enough to keep the kitchen running, but there are sparks, friction, and an unforgiving hierarchy that no one forgets for long.

There’s a fine line between weird and silly, and Stewart balances it well (the maître d’s Parisian misadventure was the only moment that jarred for me). The dread builds like carrot-and-whisky purée on salted, blow-torched pomegranate: strange, rich, and just this side of absurd. As dysfunction bubbles over, the atmosphere spits and froths.

I had feared Stewart might pull every thread into some monstrous narrative mess at the end, but he’s far cannier than that. He lets things simmer down into a tight, punchy ending that’s both shocking and perfectly in tune with the evening’s slow unravelling.

Dark, funny, and unusually humane for something so strange—this is a sharp take on food culture and the disquiet that clings to high-stakes perfection.

[Cathy · Rating 3 out of 5]

Welcome to a Tuesday night at London restaurant Midgard. The kitchen is buzzing. The tables are set. And the staff and guests take their place.
So begins a rather complex narrative where the story flits between the narrator, Marley; the restaurant's newest waitress and others (staff and diners alike). I found the food descriptions to be rather amazing. Interesting to see what the workings of a commercial kitchen in a Michelin star restaurant would be like. Somewhere it is necessary to be on a waiting list for months before you are able to dine there. The plot does certain take a rather macabre turn.

[Lauren L · Rating 2 out of 5]

So many interesting ideas that all ultimately... go nowhere.

A fascinating, well written, interesting and ultimately deeply unsatisfying book. There are so many interesting plot points and you wonder where they're gonna go, how they might intersect. Plot spoiler: Nowhere. They go nowhere.

A frustrating book because it's a fun read that feels like it's ramping up to something and then fizzles out. I'd actually read it if it was twice the length and something, anything at all, was done with all the intriguing plot threads.

Promising, but ultimately deeply disappointing.

[Carlie · Rating 2 out of 5]

Thank you NetGalley and Little Brown Book for this ebook in exchange for an honest review.

I tried so hard to get into this but we just weren’t clicking. The premise was extremely interesting and I really was excited to read it, No doubt it is very well written, the various foods so deliciously described that I spent most of the book hungry. But the story just wasn’t for me. It was strange but not in a good way and I had so many questions that remained unanswered.

[Sinead · Rating 5 out of 5]

Brilliant read. Chapters are almost their own micro story, but characters are woven through the novel driving its twists and turns. The descriptive language of food runs throughout the book, used as a sumptuous decadent backdrop for the action. The variety of characters entertain with stories at times hilarious, at times moving. Cleverly written and beautiful imagery

[Brianna · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5
I really enjoyed this book. I loved the structure of it, it kept me hooked. There were definitely some turns that I did not expect.

However, lots of story lines felt underdeveloped and left me with more answers by the end of the book. I can’t make the connection between their story lines or the relevance for plot.

[Simone · Rating 4 out of 5]

Unhinged, in the best way. I really enjoyed this chaotic book, so original, written from many perspectives and vignettes, and gripping. It was so rich and full of detail and fast and I’m going to have to read it again to get all the foreshadowing and hints and the story… please if you read it tell me so we can discuss! I have so many questions

[Lyndsay booksbooksgin · Rating 3 out of 5]

A story told (mostly) through Marley, a waitress at the Michelin starred restaurant, Midgard. She is unable to move or speak and can only observe the evenings service. Each chapter begins with a different table and offers a story of the diners. Chapters then finish with happenings in the kitchen and Marley telling her story while trying to figure out what has happened to her.
This book was a bit strange and it took me a while to get into once I understood what was going on. Some of the diner’s stories were intriguing but others just left me confused and I thought they impeded the flow of the story. There were some funny bits and equally some dark bits to the narrative.
The descriptions of the food were mouthwatering and I think it all connected quite well to explain the events that led Marley to this night. The ending was a bit of a let down as it was so abrupt.
Thanks to Netgalley and the publishers for the opportunity to read this rather unique book.

[Lottie · Rating 3 out of 5]

In 3: woven, imaginative, tense

Introduces so many interesting characters and immersive storylines but for no apparent reason. More like a series of short stories. You keep waiting for something satisfying to tie everything together and are left disappointed

[Elise · Rating 3 out of 5]

The entire book kept me on the edge of my seat. And then i finished.. and was still on the edge of my seat. i think i might have to reread this book to understand what the hell happened. Was very hard to put down though.

[Daniel Patterson · Rating 2 out of 5]

Such a good setup for a story which doesn’t gel together one bit. Such an easy premise to deliver on focusing on different diners, waitstaff and chefs over one night but it just meanders so much.

[Anne-Marie · Rating 2 out of 5]

Individual stories in this book were enjoyable but it was just too confusing and bizzare for me to enjoy as a novel.

[Cathy · Rating 3 out of 5]

An interesting concept & started really well but definitely floundered

[DFM · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very different. Twists and turns, surprise ending