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Intimacy
The hope for intimacy lies deep within us all. That moment of feeling uniquely understood, the antidote to isolation, is what gives us value, validation and self-belief. But as Ziyad Marar shows in this fascinating and engaging study, intimacy is a tricky business. The prevalence of social media, for example, is a sign of our desire for human connection, yet is a symptom of how little we truly achieve it.
Often confused with love, intimacy is in many ways more important. Marar's investigation and celebration of this elusive but profound human experience shows how intimacy is central to a life well lived. But how do we spot the real thing? Marar helpfully identifies a key set of ingredients - reciprocity, conspiracy, heightened emotion, kindness - that when brought together enable the strongest experiences of intimacy. Without these four characteristics in the mix we are experiencing something less, or something else.
Drawing on a wide range of sources - from key thinkers, as well as telling examples from familiar films and novels - Marar illustrates the subtlety and intricacies of intimacy and shows how closely it is bound up with notions of trust, control, risk and our own insecurities.
Intimacy, argues Marar, is a necessary component of a fulfilled life. Yet we should not take for granted that we know what it is and how to get it. A better understanding of this powerful experience and the many barriers to achieving it may just help us to brave the search for it. For anyone bold enough to do so, which should be all of us, Intimacy is required reading.
Often confused with love, intimacy is in many ways more important. Marar's investigation and celebration of this elusive but profound human experience shows how intimacy is central to a life well lived. But how do we spot the real thing? Marar helpfully identifies a key set of ingredients - reciprocity, conspiracy, heightened emotion, kindness - that when brought together enable the strongest experiences of intimacy. Without these four characteristics in the mix we are experiencing something less, or something else.
Drawing on a wide range of sources - from key thinkers, as well as telling examples from familiar films and novels - Marar illustrates the subtlety and intricacies of intimacy and shows how closely it is bound up with notions of trust, control, risk and our own insecurities.
Intimacy, argues Marar, is a necessary component of a fulfilled life. Yet we should not take for granted that we know what it is and how to get it. A better understanding of this powerful experience and the many barriers to achieving it may just help us to brave the search for it. For anyone bold enough to do so, which should be all of us, Intimacy is required reading.
- GenresNonfiction
238 pages, Paperback
First published June 1, 2012
5 people are currently reading
85 people want to read
About the author
Ziyad Marar
8 books7 followersZiyad Marar is an author and President of Global Publishing at SAGE Publishing.
Marar was born in 1966 in Baghdad, Iraq, then lived in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia and Beirut, Lebanon before moving with his family to London in the late 1970s.
He attended Exeter University where he obtained a BSc in psychology. He completed an MA in the philosophy and psychology of language from Birkbeck, University of London.
Marar joined SAGE in 1989 and has worked across all aspects of publishing. He was appointed Editorial Director in 1997, Deputy Managing Director in 2006, and took on a more global role in 2010 as Global Publishing Director. In 2016, Marar was promoted to President, Global Publishing where he has overall responsibility for SAGE's publishing strategy .
In recent years at SAGE, Marar has also focused on supporting the social sciences more generally. He has spoken and written on this theme in various international contexts.
In early 2015 was appointed to the board of the Campaign for Social Science (CfSS) and in 2020 he was elected as a fellow of the Academy of Social Science, an event he reflected on in a widely read article for Social Science Space. In 2015, Marar was invited to sit on the board of trustees for the UK academic news site, The Conversation.
He also sits on the boards of the Big House Theatre Company, and The Ceasefire Centre for Civilian Rights.
He lives in London with his wife and three daughters.
Marar was born in 1966 in Baghdad, Iraq, then lived in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia and Beirut, Lebanon before moving with his family to London in the late 1970s.
He attended Exeter University where he obtained a BSc in psychology. He completed an MA in the philosophy and psychology of language from Birkbeck, University of London.
Marar joined SAGE in 1989 and has worked across all aspects of publishing. He was appointed Editorial Director in 1997, Deputy Managing Director in 2006, and took on a more global role in 2010 as Global Publishing Director. In 2016, Marar was promoted to President, Global Publishing where he has overall responsibility for SAGE's publishing strategy .
In recent years at SAGE, Marar has also focused on supporting the social sciences more generally. He has spoken and written on this theme in various international contexts.
In early 2015 was appointed to the board of the Campaign for Social Science (CfSS) and in 2020 he was elected as a fellow of the Academy of Social Science, an event he reflected on in a widely read article for Social Science Space. In 2015, Marar was invited to sit on the board of trustees for the UK academic news site, The Conversation.
He also sits on the boards of the Big House Theatre Company, and The Ceasefire Centre for Civilian Rights.
He lives in London with his wife and three daughters.
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Displaying 1 - 5 of 5 reviews
February 27, 2016
An insightful book about our deepest yearning for intimacy, and the prerequisites that are required to make this possible. There are many descriptions of incidences of near-intimacy too, which explains for example why there can be no such thing as on-line intimacy - only on-line near-intimacy.
Ziyad Marar's writing is very accessible,and draws inspiration from the world of film and literature to illustrate his points. The book is well structured, and leads you in an informative but friendly style.
This should be compulsory reading.
Ziyad Marar's writing is very accessible,and draws inspiration from the world of film and literature to illustrate his points. The book is well structured, and leads you in an informative but friendly style.
This should be compulsory reading.
August 15, 2013
The premise is intriguing and some interesting ideas are posed, however with insufficient rigor and too many egregious misunderstandings of philosophy to take seriously (or to bother finishing). Though this book tends rather more toward lit crit than theory/philosophy, it never dawns upon the author to consider for a moment the possibility that positions are presented in the Platonic dialogues that are precisely those which Plato did not advance. The image of 8-limbed beings split into two, forever seeking its other half, is one of these positions (proposed by Aristophanes, in the Symposium).
Such misunderstandings are hardly inconsequential, especially in a work on intimacy. Recourse to definitions in various dictionaries is hardly an improvement in methodology.
I'm not going to waste any more time on this. I'd rather read Heidegger. While at times aggravating, Uncle Marty at least has advantage of provoking a good line of thought...
Such misunderstandings are hardly inconsequential, especially in a work on intimacy. Recourse to definitions in various dictionaries is hardly an improvement in methodology.
I'm not going to waste any more time on this. I'd rather read Heidegger. While at times aggravating, Uncle Marty at least has advantage of provoking a good line of thought...
February 12, 2019
As I read I felt that Marar was establishing intimacy with me, accessing some parts of me that are hidden away from everyday interactions. His writing is very accessible and as a layperson it was easy to understand the concepts.
June 21, 2016
Marar
April 7, 2017
At times the language is unnecessarily complex, but it certainly does give some new insight about a relationship between two.
Displaying 1 - 5 of 5 reviews