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The Approval Fix: How to Break Free from People Pleasing
Everybody wants to be loved. We all need affirmation, acceptance, and approval. Let's face It feels good to be appreciated and admired. But when we depend on the approval of others to feel good about ourselves, it's impossible to have emotional stability or a healthy self-image. And when our value is based on how people see us rather than God's unconditional love for us, our desire for approval can become an addiction.
In The Approval Fix , #1 New York Times bestselling author Joyce Meyer gives you practical insights that will help you learn how to accept who you are and become the unique individual God created you to be. You'll experience greater confidence, deeper emotional stability, and healthier relationships-the life you're really longing for.
Today, discover the truth about God's love for you and approval of you. And enjoy the freedom to be the amazing person you can be in Him!
Derived from material previously published in Approval Addiction .
In The Approval Fix , #1 New York Times bestselling author Joyce Meyer gives you practical insights that will help you learn how to accept who you are and become the unique individual God created you to be. You'll experience greater confidence, deeper emotional stability, and healthier relationships-the life you're really longing for.
Today, discover the truth about God's love for you and approval of you. And enjoy the freedom to be the amazing person you can be in Him!
Derived from material previously published in Approval Addiction .
160 pages, Hardcover
First published January 1, 2014
123 people are currently reading
1288 people want to read
About the author
Joyce Meyer
1,593 books3,903 followersJoyce Meyer is one of the world's leading practical Bible teachers. A New York Times bestselling author, Joyce’s books have helped millions of people find hope and restoration through Jesus Christ. Through Joyce Meyer Ministries, Joyce teaches on a number of topics with a particular focus on how the Word of God applies to our everyday lives. Her candid communication style allows her to share openly and practically about her experiences so others can apply what she has learned to their lives.
Joyce’s programs, Enjoying Everyday Life and Everyday Answers with Joyce Meyer, can be seen around the world through television, radio, and the Internet. Joyce has authored more than 100 books, which have been translated into more than 100 languages and over 65 million of her books have been distributed worldwide. She teaches in cities across America as well as internationally. Joyce Meyer Ministries has offices in nine countries.
Joyce’s passion to help hurting people is foundational to the vision of Hand of Hope, the missions arm of Joyce Meyer Ministries. Hand of Hope provides worldwide humanitarian outreaches such as feeding programs, medical care, orphanages, disaster response, human trafficking intervention and rehabilitation, and much more – always sharing the love and Gospel of Christ.
Her latest book, LIVING A LIFE YOU LOVE, releases Spring 2018.
Hachette Book Group has sold over 30 million copies of Joyce Meyer's books.
Joyce’s programs, Enjoying Everyday Life and Everyday Answers with Joyce Meyer, can be seen around the world through television, radio, and the Internet. Joyce has authored more than 100 books, which have been translated into more than 100 languages and over 65 million of her books have been distributed worldwide. She teaches in cities across America as well as internationally. Joyce Meyer Ministries has offices in nine countries.
Joyce’s passion to help hurting people is foundational to the vision of Hand of Hope, the missions arm of Joyce Meyer Ministries. Hand of Hope provides worldwide humanitarian outreaches such as feeding programs, medical care, orphanages, disaster response, human trafficking intervention and rehabilitation, and much more – always sharing the love and Gospel of Christ.
Her latest book, LIVING A LIFE YOU LOVE, releases Spring 2018.
Hachette Book Group has sold over 30 million copies of Joyce Meyer's books.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 70 reviews
May 31, 2014
This is a great book. I adore Joyce Meyer and was excited to be able to review this book for Netgalley.
I was 41 years old when I realized I didn't care if people liked me or not. That's kind of coming late to the game and I admire those who are able to be confident in themselves and not needing the approval of others in their young lives.
I honestly thought I had gotten past the need to please poeple but apparently there are little fragments left. I had a situation that I felt I need to be involved in so they didn't think badly of me. Then I picked this book up to finish it and the truth hit me in the face: I do NOT have to please them, I need to please God first and then myself. It helped me make some important decisions.
If you have ever struggled with people pleasing this book is for you. Joyce's style is real and honest and very understandable. :-)
I was 41 years old when I realized I didn't care if people liked me or not. That's kind of coming late to the game and I admire those who are able to be confident in themselves and not needing the approval of others in their young lives.
I honestly thought I had gotten past the need to please poeple but apparently there are little fragments left. I had a situation that I felt I need to be involved in so they didn't think badly of me. Then I picked this book up to finish it and the truth hit me in the face: I do NOT have to please them, I need to please God first and then myself. It helped me make some important decisions.
If you have ever struggled with people pleasing this book is for you. Joyce's style is real and honest and very understandable. :-)
April 21, 2014
The Approval Fix talks about our need for approval by others and sometimes when we don't get that approval we let it make us question our worth.
We are reminded in this book that Approval from others should not be whats most important but that we must always put the Lord first.
May 27, 2015
Excellent Book!
This is an excellent book full of sound, scriptural advice on why you should find your self-worth in God and Jesus Christ alone, and not people.
This is an excellent book full of sound, scriptural advice on why you should find your self-worth in God and Jesus Christ alone, and not people.
June 7, 2015
This book was soooo confirming. Ms. Meyer shares not only her personal stories but those of others that needed to overcome the curse of "people pleasing". It is a must read.
December 12, 2020
There were some insightful points in many of the chapters but I found that this book didn't have as big of an impact on me as "20 Ways to Make Every Day Better: Simple, Practical Changes with Real Results" which was the first Joyce Meyer book I ever read. That being said, I did take notes and i'll definitely check out her other books.
July 24, 2024
AMAZING
June 8, 2014
Many people struggle with "approval addiction." They want to feel accepted and approved by peers and family members. Mrs. Meyer presents proven principles, personal stories and Bible text that will help readers overcome their addiction to people pleasing.
This book is divided into the following four sections:
•Accepting Who You Are
•Breaking Approval Addiction
•Putting an End to People Pleasing
•Finding Freedom from Comparison, Rejection and Control
The author believes that we should be "God Pleasers" instead of "people pleasers." Mrs. Meyer has first-hand knowledge of what approval addiction can do to a person's spiritual, emotional and physical health. This book offers information and encouragement to all who are ready to make positive changes in their lives.
Favorite Quotations
"True freedom never comes until we fully realize that we don't need to struggle to get from others what God freely gives us: love, acceptance, approval, security, worth, and value."
"If you feel you have lost something or someone you cannot do without, you are wrong. The only thing or person in life we absolutely cannot do without is God."
"When you enter into a new relationship, be careful how you get started. What you allow in the beginning will come to be expected throughout your association with that person."
"The person who is most likely to be controlled is someone who has always been controlled, so being controlled is a habit, a way of life."
"We should do what we do for the love of God and others. Being motivated by fear instead of love or faith does not please God."
I have read many of Joyce Meyer's books in the past. I have followed her ministry for over 15 years and have been blessed by her teachings and publications.
This book is briefer and more concise than many of her previous books. I like the way the author gets right to the heart of the matter with fewer stories and anecdotes.
This book provides life-changing information for all who desire a life of confidence, acceptance, love, peace, joy and strength.
FYI ~ I received a complimentary digital copy of this book to read and review from NetGalley.
This book is divided into the following four sections:
•Accepting Who You Are
•Breaking Approval Addiction
•Putting an End to People Pleasing
•Finding Freedom from Comparison, Rejection and Control
The author believes that we should be "God Pleasers" instead of "people pleasers." Mrs. Meyer has first-hand knowledge of what approval addiction can do to a person's spiritual, emotional and physical health. This book offers information and encouragement to all who are ready to make positive changes in their lives.
Favorite Quotations
"True freedom never comes until we fully realize that we don't need to struggle to get from others what God freely gives us: love, acceptance, approval, security, worth, and value."
"If you feel you have lost something or someone you cannot do without, you are wrong. The only thing or person in life we absolutely cannot do without is God."
"When you enter into a new relationship, be careful how you get started. What you allow in the beginning will come to be expected throughout your association with that person."
"The person who is most likely to be controlled is someone who has always been controlled, so being controlled is a habit, a way of life."
"We should do what we do for the love of God and others. Being motivated by fear instead of love or faith does not please God."
I have read many of Joyce Meyer's books in the past. I have followed her ministry for over 15 years and have been blessed by her teachings and publications.
This book is briefer and more concise than many of her previous books. I like the way the author gets right to the heart of the matter with fewer stories and anecdotes.
This book provides life-changing information for all who desire a life of confidence, acceptance, love, peace, joy and strength.
FYI ~ I received a complimentary digital copy of this book to read and review from NetGalley.
July 25, 2016
©2014
ISBN: 978-1-4555-4715-9 (hc)
“Pleasing people is good, but becoming a people pleaser is not. I define people pleasers as those who try to please people even if they have to compromise their consciences to do so. People pleasers need approval so desperately that they allow others to control, manipulate, and use them. They let their emotions dictate their behavior instead of allowing the Holy Spirit to lead them. People pleasers are fear-based individuals, and their motives are almost entirely rooted in fear. They fear rejection, judgment, what people think and say, and especially anger or disapproval” (page 88).
If any of this reminds you of yourself, this book is for you. Should you choose to read it, here’s what you’ll find:
Introduction
I. Accepting Who You Are
1. God Loves You
2. You Are Valuable
3. You’re Right!
4. God Is on Your Side
5. You’ll Become What You Believe
6. God Has the Right Position for You
7. You Have a Promising Future
8. Like Yourself, Love Yourself
II. Breaking Approval Addiction
9. Turn the Light On
10. You Don’t Have to Live with Approval Addiction
11. Establish Good Boundaries
12. Don’t Let Your Feelings Stop You
13. Press Past the Pain of Disapproval
III. Putting an End to People Pleasing
14. Who Do You Want to Please?
15. What Do You Need?
16. Take Authority over Your Life
IV. Finding Freedom from Comparison, Rejection, and Control
17. Really, It’s Okay
18. Reject Rejection
19. Break Free from Control
V. Moving into a Great Future
20. Put You Pain to Good Use
21. Be a Blessing
Conclusion
A Joyce Meyer book is never a waste of time. There’s always something to learn. Even if you, yourself, don’t have a problem with approval addiction or people-pleasing, maybe you’ll see an area in which you can grow and/or get stronger, such as you dislike confrontation or have a hard time sticking up for yourself—this book will help you. Or perhaps, if you read this, you’ll recognize the symptoms in someone you know, and now you’ll know how to help.
Grade: A+
ISBN: 978-1-4555-4715-9 (hc)
“Pleasing people is good, but becoming a people pleaser is not. I define people pleasers as those who try to please people even if they have to compromise their consciences to do so. People pleasers need approval so desperately that they allow others to control, manipulate, and use them. They let their emotions dictate their behavior instead of allowing the Holy Spirit to lead them. People pleasers are fear-based individuals, and their motives are almost entirely rooted in fear. They fear rejection, judgment, what people think and say, and especially anger or disapproval” (page 88).
If any of this reminds you of yourself, this book is for you. Should you choose to read it, here’s what you’ll find:
Introduction
I. Accepting Who You Are
1. God Loves You
2. You Are Valuable
3. You’re Right!
4. God Is on Your Side
5. You’ll Become What You Believe
6. God Has the Right Position for You
7. You Have a Promising Future
8. Like Yourself, Love Yourself
II. Breaking Approval Addiction
9. Turn the Light On
10. You Don’t Have to Live with Approval Addiction
11. Establish Good Boundaries
12. Don’t Let Your Feelings Stop You
13. Press Past the Pain of Disapproval
III. Putting an End to People Pleasing
14. Who Do You Want to Please?
15. What Do You Need?
16. Take Authority over Your Life
IV. Finding Freedom from Comparison, Rejection, and Control
17. Really, It’s Okay
18. Reject Rejection
19. Break Free from Control
V. Moving into a Great Future
20. Put You Pain to Good Use
21. Be a Blessing
Conclusion
A Joyce Meyer book is never a waste of time. There’s always something to learn. Even if you, yourself, don’t have a problem with approval addiction or people-pleasing, maybe you’ll see an area in which you can grow and/or get stronger, such as you dislike confrontation or have a hard time sticking up for yourself—this book will help you. Or perhaps, if you read this, you’ll recognize the symptoms in someone you know, and now you’ll know how to help.
Grade: A+
July 8, 2015
I really liked this book because that's me a people pleaser. Us people pleasers must learn to stand up for ourselves and not cave into others demands and follow God and our heart. God's will is for you to enjoy your life and fulfill the purpose for which he created you. I have finally learned that lesson late in my life. We need to learn we are valuable even when some people try to tear us down. We are special and unique. We do not need certain people to approve of us no matter how hard we try they do not cooperate. Shake off rejection and do not be controlled or manipulated by others. Sometimes you need to walk away. Be a blessing to others and live to please God not poeple.
June 9, 2014
I really liked this book. Meyer is so practical in her teaching. She wants each of us to be pleasers of God, not pleasers of humans. She helps us understand we might have come to that place. She also gives practical suggestions and steps to get out of it.
See my full review at http://bit.ly/1kTKAc0.
I received a complimentary egalley of this book from the publisher for the purpose of an independent and honest review.
See my full review at http://bit.ly/1kTKAc0.
I received a complimentary egalley of this book from the publisher for the purpose of an independent and honest review.
October 13, 2015
A powerful book for most caring folks who want to care, but not be controlled or controlling. I was concerned about the lack of clarity in one-two paragraphs which could be misinterpreted in an unhealthy way. It would be the opposite of the healthy instructions in the next paragraph. I also would have liked more scripture references to back up each point. Overall an effective, well-rounded, God-centered perspective.
June 26, 2016
I can't get what people think is wrong with Joyce from what she teaches. They have personal restlessness, religious and inferiority issues they need God's help to heal. As there is nothing wrong in this writing nor any of her talks. If you are judging others you lack vision in your own life, drive focus and determination to achieve your own goals in Christ.
August 16, 2016
Basically you don't need ANYONE'S approval. My favorite passages: The Bible teaches us that when we trust in people to give us what only God can give, we live under a curse, but when we believe, trust in, and rely on the Lord, we are blessed (Jeremiah 17:5-8) and ask Jesus for favor with the right people and don't worry about the ones who do not seem to value you. Amen!
June 11, 2014
Very, very religious. I found it too intense, but it did confirm my belief in God and Jesus. I would recommend this book if you need to find confidence in God. Didn't help me find the answers I was after.
January 2, 2015
this book has had a profound impact on my people pleasing anxieties. I started niticing some changes right away as I got further into the book. joyce meyer is a very wise woman. this is one of the bests gifts I could get for christmas.
July 15, 2015
This book was written solely for Christians and it's really not much more than a very wordy sermon, with plenty of repetition. I got nothing out of it, which was disappointing since I was so sold on the title.
July 12, 2014
Lots of good ideas.
September 11, 2014
Easy reading with short chapters yet thought provoking.
January 5, 2015
I really enjoyed this book. I've been struggling all my life with getting approval from my parents, at work & in personal relationships. This book has wonderful tips for overcoming people pleasing.
February 7, 2015
This book was disappointing... Mostly because the word "how" was in the title.
There was a lot of answers to why (because God) but not any real answers to how.
There was a lot of answers to why (because God) but not any real answers to how.
February 28, 2015
Great book. I recommend reading this book to those who want to break free from people pleasing.
July 1, 2015
It had some good points, but was a very slow read for such a small book.
August 24, 2015
This book help you to see if you are an “approval addict.” B
August 20, 2017
I didn't know how much I needed to hear something like this. Joyce reveals with simplicity some of the behaviors of people pleasers, contrasted with the behaviors of people who try to control others. She also shows the actions needed to break free from this addicion: people's approval.
I strongly recommend the book. I think that at some degree we all need it.
Some quotes:
• Anyone who's been hurt badly through abuse or severe rejection, as I have, often seeks the approval of other to try to overcome feelings of rejection and low self-esteem.
• The first step to understanding and breaking free from approval addiction is to understand fear.
• Pleasing God is not nearly as hard as you may think. Simple child-like faith pleases him.
• Christians are called believers. We are not saved by our works but for our faith.
• We must trust his Word more than our feelings.
• I encourage you to form a habit of being righteous conscious, rather than sin conscious.
• Where the mind goes, the man follows.
• Read Ephesians 1:4-5
• Our mistakes have value, we can learn from them.
• We need to learn to identify with Christ.
I strongly recommend the book. I think that at some degree we all need it.
Some quotes:
• Anyone who's been hurt badly through abuse or severe rejection, as I have, often seeks the approval of other to try to overcome feelings of rejection and low self-esteem.
• The first step to understanding and breaking free from approval addiction is to understand fear.
• Pleasing God is not nearly as hard as you may think. Simple child-like faith pleases him.
• Christians are called believers. We are not saved by our works but for our faith.
• We must trust his Word more than our feelings.
• I encourage you to form a habit of being righteous conscious, rather than sin conscious.
• Where the mind goes, the man follows.
• Read Ephesians 1:4-5
• Our mistakes have value, we can learn from them.
• We need to learn to identify with Christ.
September 15, 2022
The book in 3 sentences: A book that gives advice on how to overcome approval addiction - the condition in which one's self value is entirely reliant on the attitudes of others. It details why you should try to please God, not humans (and gives Biblical reasoning for the distinction).
Impressions: I was initially put off by the fact that her reasoning and logic for her arguments was almost entirely biblically based which would not appeal to atheists.
How the book changed me: It showed me the importance of asking for help, and made me consider that having God as someone to please instead of other humans, could in fact be a healthier mindset to adopt in life because such a God would not hold you against anything nor corrupt you. On the other hand, trying to please a fellow human being could.
Who should read it: Unconfident people. Anyone who feels they can only be happy when they please those around them and feel like it is difficult to express their own needs. It is also for those who struggle to ask for help and think they are being a burden on others for doing so.
Overall rating: 6.5/10.
By Aidan
Impressions: I was initially put off by the fact that her reasoning and logic for her arguments was almost entirely biblically based which would not appeal to atheists.
How the book changed me: It showed me the importance of asking for help, and made me consider that having God as someone to please instead of other humans, could in fact be a healthier mindset to adopt in life because such a God would not hold you against anything nor corrupt you. On the other hand, trying to please a fellow human being could.
Who should read it: Unconfident people. Anyone who feels they can only be happy when they please those around them and feel like it is difficult to express their own needs. It is also for those who struggle to ask for help and think they are being a burden on others for doing so.
Overall rating: 6.5/10.
By Aidan
March 31, 2020
I love me some Joyce Meyer! This was my 2nd round with this particular title. It focuses on our need to align our value and worth of ourselves with that of God's measure. We are children of God, how could our value come close to societies view?! We need to stop focusing on meeting everyone's expectations and people pleasing. Still the need to have a heart for people is there but we need to gauge our value with what it really is not what those around us say it is.
So many wonderful words of encouragement and insight on much more we help people and ourselves by knowing our true worth and how to reveal it.
So many wonderful words of encouragement and insight on much more we help people and ourselves by knowing our true worth and how to reveal it.
February 5, 2024
I borrowed this book from the library because I am trying to quit caring too much about pleasing other people, i.e. cure myself from the “disease to please”, as Oprah calls it.
What I did not realize is that this is Christian book. It is basically a Bible study focused on learning how to care only about pleasing God; not other human beings.
Well, I do believe in God, so I decided to give this a shot. It’s nicely written and made for a nice, calming read right before going to sleep at night, but unfortunately, I don’t think it worked for me in terms of curing me from my “disease to please”, so I am only giving it two stars.
I will keep looking for a good book on this subject.
What I did not realize is that this is Christian book. It is basically a Bible study focused on learning how to care only about pleasing God; not other human beings.
Well, I do believe in God, so I decided to give this a shot. It’s nicely written and made for a nice, calming read right before going to sleep at night, but unfortunately, I don’t think it worked for me in terms of curing me from my “disease to please”, so I am only giving it two stars.
I will keep looking for a good book on this subject.
August 24, 2019
Overall the book was not bad. If you can get past all the cliches & "Christianese", there is some great encouragement for approval addicts and people pleasers. You just have to get to Part 3 & Part 4 for the "meat" of the book. I felt it could have gone deeper with the roots of the approval addiction & more detailed steps to overcoming the addiction. The book could have been a short essay with all the "fluff" removed. For what it offers, it is a good starting place for overcoming for a Christ-follower.
November 15, 2021
This was a helpful start to changing from living to please people, to living to please God and Him alone.
It touched briefly on what could be the roots of an addiction or bondage to people pleasing, how to notice that you are a people-pleaser, and how to embrace the truth in God's Word to move out of the prison of people pleasing.
It touched briefly on what could be the roots of an addiction or bondage to people pleasing, how to notice that you are a people-pleaser, and how to embrace the truth in God's Word to move out of the prison of people pleasing.
February 5, 2017
Joyce's matter-of-fact teaching and honest truths, seasoned with God's Word, is a great mixture of encouragement and healing. Being addicted to others' approval is a self-eating disease. We must instead find our value in What God's Word says about us, rather than others' words.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 70 reviews