Jamaica Me Dead

Zack Chasteen #2

by Bob Morris

TOO HOT TO HANDLE
Former Miami Dolphin Zack Chasteen had a short pro career, but he's got a long memory. When his old gridiron pal Monk DeVane asks him to help beef up security at Libido, an X-rated Jamaican resort, Zack agrees. But he soon regrets it when he finds the resort owner quite literally on the hot seat―sitting on a bomb that will detonate if he so much as twitches a muscle… Things get even more explosive at the adult playground of Libido, where tourists indulge in sun and plenty of bawdy fun. From Montego Bay to the island's back country, Zack Chasteen descends into Jamaica's heart of darkness and its bloody political scene, bringing along his inscrutable sidekick Boggy, a Taino Indian shaman. With bullets flying and people dying, Zack must seek out the truth and settle some scores before his own life goes boom. "Advertised as a year-round summer read, this is exactly that, thanks to smart, polished prose; an affable narrator; swift, straightforward plotting in bite-size chapters; and a fun, exotic setting."
― Booklist

Genres: Mystery, Fiction, Humor, Crime, Mystery Thriller

320 pages, Mass Market Paperback

First published January 1, 2005

About the author

Robert Morris is an American novelist who writes Caribbean themed mysteries. He is previously known as a columnist for several newspapers and magazines.

Series:
* Zack Chasteen

Reviews

[Eric · Rating 4 out of 5]

I am really enjoying this mystery series, even if I figured out most of the book's whodunit pretty early. It's light, breezy, well written, and I love the tropical settings -- it's basically perfect for summer vacation reading.

[Erin L · Rating 2 out of 5]

To be clear, I am not the target audience for this book.

I'll start with the good: the mystery was interesting (mostly) and layered. The time spent in the narrative focused on the mystery and characters related to the mystery was well done. I actually even enjoyed the main character during this time. Mostly.

The rest of the book is a bit...Ace Ventura meets cleaned-up-ish Penthouse letters. Which is where this book is not for me. The main character is too focused on goofy one-liners to fit into a hard-boiled detective type. And the setting of a Hedonism-style resort was pretty unnecessary, except to bring in our penthouse letters crap.

The character of Boggy comes in as more of a plot fixer - when things get difficult, he just magically fixes it.

Finally, the "plot twist" was fairly clear from the start. When the van blows up at the airport, it was so obvious that the wallet and ring were planted to make it look like Monk was dead, rather than that he was really dead. The question was whether he faked his death to investigate freely (good guy), or he faked his death because he was really the bad guy.

[Jeff Dickison · Rating 4 out of 5]

I would have given this book 3.5 stars if Goodreads allowed such shenanigans. The book is humorous, but the plot is not very believable and the main character just tries to hard to be super cool. That being said, it was a quick and easy book to read, and did manage to keep my interest (even if I didn't believe the premise). Recommended to die-hard fans of Mr. Morris; others proceed with caution.

[Camilla Harry · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was a monthly choice for the mystery bookclub I participate in. I had picked up the first book in the series at a thrift store a few months (or so) ago; but hadn't read it yet. I do like to read things in order, but didn't realize I owned the first one in the series until I was part way through this mystery. I liked it so much I looked up the author and all in the series to add them to my list. Low and behold I had that author on the list already. (Guess that tells you that I own more books than I probably should. But when I find a mystery at a yard sale or thrift store that sounds good, I buy it. Then I try to get the first books in the series so I can read them in order - since that's my preference.)

Anyway, this was a very enjoyable mystery. Fast moving as it took me less than a week to finish it. Plus, the action was fast paced. Zack and Boggy are smart and hilarious! Read and enjoy a virtual trip to Jamaica!

[Paul Twiss · Rating 2 out of 5]

The book revolves around an ex-American football player who miraculously now has a career as a brilliant sleuth/tough guy. This, in itself is laboured and contrived, but add in that even when he is facing death he is still wise cracking it just becomes plain silly and the writing style irritating.

The story develops quite well but is full of cliched characters and events. The twist is also easy to predict. I believe this is part of a series where the protagonist Zach Chasteen s the runing character but on this showing I will give any other offerings a miss.

If you want a fairly easy to read crime novel that you do not have to think about too much and that is set in an exotic location then this is passable

[Lizzann · Rating 1 out of 5]

Read this for the Mystery Book Club's theme this year of "focus on location". I have never been to Jamaica so enjoyed the island descriptions. I've known several Jamaicans however and enjoyed their distinct voice.

But I could not warm up to the main character, Zack Chasteen. He had all the depth of a sophomoric fraternity boy, focusing on sex and booze. The writing style reminded me of the two Carl Hiaasen "adult" novels that I've read. And that was plenty. Although I have enjoyed Hiaasen's young adult novels (Hoot, Scat, and Flush). Each carried a strong environmental message sans sex, booze, or foul language!

Probably will not read another Bob Morris novel.

[Jon Koebrick · Rating 3 out of 5]

This series has potential. The main characters are interesting and likeable. The story had a lot of twists and feints. The only real downside was the moments where the book goes into the whole, “so I told him my plan and he agreed” without telling anything about the plants the reader. The book was a solid 3 stars and good enough to put the next one on the to read list. Morris gives a little Hiassen feel but without the high degree zany characters and humor.

[Thomas Trang · Rating 4 out of 5]

Breezy crime fiction


A great beach read with all the quips and sardonic humor of sun-kissed Florida crime writing (Carl Hiaasen, Dave Barry etc) - some twists and turns, but nothing too surprising. Good fun, and digs a little into the politics of Jamaica and some history of the island with the obvious Chris Blackwell stand in. Nothing revolutionary but still done with some care and some flair.

[Patricia Sullivan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Clever and Fun

I'd read the first book. I don't know how I found it, but I enjoyed Zach and Barbara so much, I got the second and recommended the first to friends. Well, I'm hooked. Ill get the next and the next....
Fast paced and twisty, with Lethal Weapon style fun banter and great descriptions of the locales, like a travel agency.

[Cheryl · Rating 4 out of 5]

I stumbled upon this book at a used book sale and thought it looked fun so picked it up.

I thoroughly enjoyed the story and the characters and had a few good laughs while reading it. I had never heard of Bob Morris before but will look for other books by him.

[Thompson · Rating 2 out of 5]

The author's protagonist and lady friend are Spencer and lady friend (by Robert Parker) wannabes but come up waaaaay short. The story also came up waaaaay short; it was too obvious who the bad guy was.

[Gregory Whitis · Rating 3 out of 5]

Bob Morris' Jamaica Me Dead is a fun read. Reminded me of a happy-go-lucky Elmore Leonard rendition faced with an almost impossible mission. Want to read more Morris. Note my edition was labeled as an "advance uncorrected proof" hence my three-star rating.

[Bernice · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very entertaining- I’ll read the next book in series

[Lisa DeFiore · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was so much fun to read. Characters are very likable, there isn’t a dull moment, constant page turning. It gripped me and didn’t let go from cover to cover

[Rebekah Jones · Rating 4 out of 5]

Fun book
Football, bombs, a true definition of a flying f#$k.

[Deanna Fox · Rating 3 out of 5]

Kind of an obvious ending to the whole thing, but fairly entertaining getting there...

[David · Rating 3 out of 5]

Despite having given this book a three star rating I have some quibbles with it. I'll offer the gripes first.

1) The Title

I know that the author is trying to be clever, but I'm sorry, this title just didn't do it for me. Of course, the author had to choose something.


2) The Hero

Zack Chasteen, former football store, ex-con (pardoned after being exonerated) and owner of a Palm Tree Nursery is a huge enigma... When he is recruited by a former pro-football roommate to help provide some security for a Jamaican Resort owner it makes no sense at all. He refuses to carry a gun and exactly what is his experience that makes him right to bring in to solve security problems.. NONE!!!

The fact that the resort is a "swingers" resort and he refuses all advances from the beautiful women who are after him is commendable, he is in a committed relationship of sorts. While commendable, and comical, it certainly seems odd to me.

Zack also has a gift for talking himself out of trouble with almost anybody, whether the Jamaican police, gangsters, corrupt government operatives, or even employers and their families. Sometimes it is just a bit too much.

3) The Plot

The author does a good enough job of creating possible bad guys and driving the action and the mystery along. However, about half-way through he telegraphed a major plot giveaway that really spoiled this one for me. I knew who the bad guy was (or one of them) for more than half the book and I have to honestly declare that it wasn't due to cleverness, but due to a clue that was just a little too obvious. Looking back, I can see a manner in which the clue could have been dropped, and the reader stil shccked by it when the time came. Sorry, but this spoiled a bit of it for me.


THE GOOD STUFF

I enjoyed the subplot about Zack's girl being wooed by a larger magazine publisher. The author seemed to genuinely understand some of the difficulties in selling a small publication to a larger company and watching "your baby" get ruined. Saw this happen with a magazine I was on the peripheral of and that magazine barely exists today.

Zack's expressions are always clever and witty. I particularly liked one quote, which I will try to repeat here, though I don't promise to get it 100% word for word... "When I climb up on my high horse I tend to give it a long, hard ride." He tends to offer sarcasm at the right time, clever wordplay from time to time, and so the dialogue is often genuinely funny.

There was also some interesting things about Jamaican superstitions regarding the recently deceased. This offered some solid flavor and interest to the novel.

THE MIXED STUFF

The author writes in short, crisp chapters. Usually, that's a good thing. In this case there were a number of chapter breaks that I didn't think should have existed. Some chapters were as short as two and half pages and should have blended into the next chapter. On the other hand, this style tends to keep the reader going through the book because he or she feels that "one more chapter" won't take too long to read and it never does. I just felt that it was a bit overdone this time.

Bogey, Zack's faithful "Indian" companion is always fun, but being a bit psychic takes a step further out on the limb that I like to go. I like the fact that he is always offering herbs and teas and stuff, which make for good characterization, but knowing when something is going to happen just seems a tad too far fetched for me.


OVERALL

The book was worth reading-- but I could never really see why Zack was involved. It just didn't make sense for him to even partcipate in this storyline. The dialogue and the superstition stuff made the book interesting enough to finish and of course I wanted to see if I had really read that middle of the book clue properly (I did!) but it fell short of great writing. Good, better than adequate, but nothing exceptional is my opinion.

[J. York · Rating 3 out of 5]

In reviewing a series mystery, there is always the difficult question of how to discuss the book. Should it be examined only as a stand-alone work, or in the larger context of the series and those volumes that go before (and for us late-comers, after) the current work.

This is the second book I've read in Morris's Zack Chasteen series, and I can now see certain patterns and trends developing. As such, I'm going to take the latter approach and discuss the books place in the context of the series.

There are writers who are masters of plot, and then there are those who are not. At least at this stage in career, Bob Morris is not a master of plot.

His characters are likable and interesting, his settings and details interesting, his storytelling is solid. But unfortunately, he doesn't quite seem to trust his many virtues to engage the reader for the length of the book, and instead strains for "surprise" plot twists that I expect most seasoned mystery readers will see coming the moment he sets them up. Just as he isn't a master of plot, he also falls short in the skills of misdirection necessary to pull this sort of thing off successfully without annoying the reader.

Combine this with an ending that leaves the protagonist strangely passive during the climax of the mystery, and you've got an otherwise enjoyable book with a couple of brief but important disappointments.

But, as a reader I find myself not only enjoying the series enough that I'd continue reading if only he'd avoided the plot histrionics, I find myself (for at least one more book) willing to continue reading IN SPITE of them.

But my patience wears thin, and I deeply hope the third installment in the series (which I've already ordered) will avoid the traps of its predecessors. Hopefully, Morris will learn to trust both his own skills as a writer, and his readership.

If that happens, I might be tempted to give this installment an additional star, again, placing it in the larger context of the series.

[Leonardo Etcheto · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoyed the novel right up to the end where the bad guy was a little disappointing, mostly because it seems like Zack should not have misread someone so badly. For the rest, the setting of a crazy anything goes resort in Jamaica with politics, guns and money all mixed up really worked well. No boat rides in this one which is a shame, but there is a special flowering palm tree and honorable thugs so that is something.
This is the third book I have read about Zack Chasteen, and the character is really growing on me. There is so much editorializing in the story and the character is so well rounded that it just seems like a disguised autobiography by Mr. Morris. There is too much real in the character. Too many little snippets and tendencies that are so well balanced that if they are not based on his personal tendencies are a real work of fictional genius. The only issue with this is that all the other characters are two dimensional by comparison.
Zack does not kill anyone in this book, which is a bonus.

[Jodi · Rating 4 out of 5]

It has been awhile since I read the first Zack Chasteen book, Bahamarama, and I forgot how good these books are and how much I enjoy them, the characters, the stories and the humor. In this outing Zack is contacted by an old college football friend who is working security for Darcy Whitehall, owner of the Libido resorts, the original and Whitehall's home being in Jamaica. The friend begs Zack for some help on the security as threats are being made against Whitehall, including a bomb under Whitehall's owner's box seat at the Florida Gators game. Zack is off to Jamaica and soon investigating the threats, homicides and some political acts of violence and destruction. I greatly enjoyed this book! It was a highly entertaining read. I recommend this series, especially if you enjoy a little humor in your mystery. It is a well-written, funny and intelligent read.

[Viccy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Zach Chasteen makes me laugh, he is a knight is tarnished armor who is always willing to come to the assistance of those in need. This time it's his old buddy Monk, who played with him for the Miami Dolphins. Monk is in charge of security for Darcy Whitehall, a reggae musician from Jamaica, whose son Alan is running for Parliament. Darcy has been targeted by an unknown enemy who wants $5 million dollars to cover up Darcy's illegal money-laundering past. When Zach arrives in Jamaica, Monk's van is blown up right in front of Zach and he knows he has to find out who is responsible. Zach spends lots of time turning over rocks and the reader gets taken on a tour of Jamaican politics and life on the island. Plenty of laugh out loud escapades and lots of action. Very enjoyable.

[Karen]

a mystery book that deals with the essential factors to a captivating plot. The basics such as ransom, threats, loss of loved ones, etc are exeperienced her along with a humerous twist. Old friends meet up, and try saving a very important and wealthy man.

From the book, I learned that people should consistantly be vigilant and dont make decisions without so much as thought to what the consequences are and how terrible they can be.
I recommend this book to individuals who are mystery lovers and have sarcasm within their personality but overall, it was an okay book. It didn't stand out to be so exciting that it deserves an award.

[Fred Forbes · Rating 4 out of 5]

I was long a fan of Bob Morris as a columnist when I lived in the Orlando area and have read a number of his collections of essays. I don't know why it took me so long to discover his novels, of which this is the second with ex-ball football player Zack Chasteen and it is quite a romp through a Jamaican resort called "Libido" and all that term connotes. Lots of clever twists and turns to hold ones attention. I enjoy Florida writers writing about Florida (even with a bit of a side trip to the Islands), especially those authors I have met personally so it is a pleasure to add Bob to the stable. Three down, two to go.

[James · Rating 3 out of 5]

Good writer, pretty descent story. My only gripe, and this is the potential spoiler: I don't know what the character's "credentials" are for being a tough guy/ security expert. He's a former football player, but besides that little is given to suggest why he gets hired as a security person in this story. Furthermore, (and this might be a bit more of a spoiler) he doesn't really do anything in the story. He pieces together some information, but doesn't use his' suspicions to help him deal with the bad guys.

[Theresa · Rating 2 out of 5]

I liked the storyline of the book. I liked the varied characters.

What I HATED was the excessive, and inappropriate, use of cuss words. When one sentence is, "F... word, f..." and the next sentence also has cuss words up the wazoo, well that is too much.

I think my daughter (15) and others would have loved this book but I can't, in good faith, recommend this book. I am no prude I promise (I read romance novels with the best of them) but the story was diminished not enhanced by it's salty language.

[Wendy · Rating 3 out of 5]

Zack is off to Jamaica to help out an old friend. Of course things go horribly wrong right off the bat. Whatever you readers do, please do not read the end first
Although I enjoyed my trip to Jamaica, this one got a little long. I know nothing about this country and hope things tthere are really not that bad politically and culturally. Honestly, I would think twice in visiting.
I am the type that wants to see what locals see not tourists. From Bob Morris point of view, tourists should not go native.

[Teena in Toronto · Rating 3 out of 5]

I hadn't heard of this author or series before ... I came across this book at the library and it sounded like fun.

And it was.

I enjoyed the writing style ... it's funny and sarcastic. The characters are different and interesting. I wasn't crazy about Zach's fussy girlfriend, Barbara (why are they always fussy and annoying!!??). Thankfully she wasn't in the book all that much. I figured out who was behind it right away but it was still an enjoyable ride to get there.

[Ron Harris · Rating 4 out of 5]

An aquaintance recommended this book to me because he said I read too much serious stuff and needed a fun read every now and then. Well this book was definitely that, and I am now a regular reader of Mr. Morris anytime I need a fun read. His books are a mixture of Carl Hiaasen Florida tales, Christopher Moore research comedies, and a bit of Elmore Leonard thrown in for good measure. Don't come here if you're looking for enlightenment, but for a quick fun read please do.

[Ed · Rating 4 out of 5]

#2 in the Zack Chasteen series. Zack Chasteen, ex-Miami Dolphin safety, served time in prison after being wrongfully convicted of counterfeiting.

Zack Chasteen travels to Jamaica to help an old teammate who is providing security for the owner of sex oriented resort. A DEA agent tries to blackmail him into blackmailing the resort owner into informing on a money launderer with whom he had a prior relationship. Bombings, double crossings and political machinations abound.

[Beverly · Rating 4 out of 5]

Lot of twists and turns

Zack Chasteen always seem to be the guy that starts out trying to do someone a favor and all heck breaks loose This story had a ton of twists and turns. Unfortunately for me there were way to many twist turns to get to raising climax of the story. I was also disappointed that he didn’t propose to Barbara.
All in it was a okay read during the pandemic