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When I Was German
When I Was German is the childhood memoir of a boy raised in a home that reverberated with the echoes of World War II. Although born in NJ long after the last guns in Europe went silent, the unresolved grief of his German mother and the bitter conflict between her and his Jewish father made for a home that was a battlefield through which the boy struggled to survive and grow.
I was this boy. After my father’s death, I needed to understand my life with him and my mother, and the only way I could was to tell it as a story. When I Was German, my childhood memoir, was the result.
I was this boy. After my father’s death, I needed to understand my life with him and my mother, and the only way I could was to tell it as a story. When I Was German, my childhood memoir, was the result.
252 pages, Kindle Edition
First published September 10, 2013
About the author
Alan Wynzel
2 books15 followersTHE SEVENTH ROUND: A BRIEF SYNOPIS
A divorced, middle-aged father of two young children meets with ruin in the Great Recession. Broke and facing his second layoff with little hope for another job, he acquires a .32 caliber revolver with a seven-round load. He moves with fatalism through an alcoholic week of heartbreak, despair, and obsession over a lost love toward the inevitable disintegration of his life. But he intends to cheat the inevitable with the gun. Each night, he loads another round in the cylinder in a deliberate, measured preparation for action. Finally, the seventh day comes, and the gun is fully loaded.
BIO: ALAN WYNZEL
Alan Wynzel has been a storyteller and writer from a very young age. In the sixth grade he wrote a sixty-three page WWII story. He’s lived in New Jersey all of his life except for a brief flirtation in Lawrence, Kansas in the early 90s, where he started writing seriously. (His girlfriend told him he’d never make it with a guitar, please write instead—she liked her peace and quiet)
Since then he’s written six novels, including THE SEVENTH ROUND, and his childhood memoir. THE SEVENTH ROUND is his first work to be published. Now he’s writing screenplays, having adapted his latest novel, a WWII drama, into a feature length script.
Much of THE SEVENTH ROUND is true, or extrapolated from truth. Especially the sex—all true. But Mr. Wynzel wants it to go on record that he has never owned a gun, never got into a bar fight, and most of all, has never sang Karaoke.
A divorced, middle-aged father of two young children meets with ruin in the Great Recession. Broke and facing his second layoff with little hope for another job, he acquires a .32 caliber revolver with a seven-round load. He moves with fatalism through an alcoholic week of heartbreak, despair, and obsession over a lost love toward the inevitable disintegration of his life. But he intends to cheat the inevitable with the gun. Each night, he loads another round in the cylinder in a deliberate, measured preparation for action. Finally, the seventh day comes, and the gun is fully loaded.
BIO: ALAN WYNZEL
Alan Wynzel has been a storyteller and writer from a very young age. In the sixth grade he wrote a sixty-three page WWII story. He’s lived in New Jersey all of his life except for a brief flirtation in Lawrence, Kansas in the early 90s, where he started writing seriously. (His girlfriend told him he’d never make it with a guitar, please write instead—she liked her peace and quiet)
Since then he’s written six novels, including THE SEVENTH ROUND, and his childhood memoir. THE SEVENTH ROUND is his first work to be published. Now he’s writing screenplays, having adapted his latest novel, a WWII drama, into a feature length script.
Much of THE SEVENTH ROUND is true, or extrapolated from truth. Especially the sex—all true. But Mr. Wynzel wants it to go on record that he has never owned a gun, never got into a bar fight, and most of all, has never sang Karaoke.
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Displaying 1 - 14 of 14 reviews
January 29, 2021
How can an anti-Semite woman, a Nazi at heart (no matter what she says otherwise) marry a Jewish New York cab driver?
Ask the author's mother! Because that's what she did.
This memoir starts out a bit clumsy, but by the time you get to page 3, you are hooked. I kept reading two nights until 5 a.m., even though I had promised my husband to turn off the light and sleep at decent hours.
How can a woman emigrate to America when she dislikes anything that isn't German? -- How can a woman continuously infiltrate her child's brain with her weird perception of being German, with her weird take of World War II (for instance, blaming the Allieds for bombing German cities, completely disregarding the fact that it was Hitler who had started the war), and with her weird dreams that Germany could have, should have won the war if only Hitler had listened a bit more to his generals? -- And how can a woman poison her child's soul by continuously hammering it into her child that his father (a somewhat primitive but good-natured and very patient man) is a No-Good Sonofabitch?
With all understanding for war trauma and homesickness for Germany, THIS IS BEYOND ME!
I admire the author for still finding excuses for his mother. As a matter of fact, I admire him for not just simply strangling her. -- And I feel sorry for his father. I really feel sorry for him. -- Most of all, however, I feel sorry for the author. What a dreadful childhood! How many years of his life made miserable! Did I not know that he lived to write a book, I would have feared him ending up a mercenary (playing war until some bitter end) or committing suicide. It is amazing that he made it through this hell without crashing. People have crashed with so much better childhoods.
Yes, this book could have used some professional proofreading. Yes, it has punctuation problems. And yes, most of the German words in this book are spelled wrong. But none of this counts. I would not even substract a single star. Not from a memoir like this.
The story of this private continuation of World War II, forced upon the author, is classic stuff for an opera. At least, it should be made a movie.
Btw, I am German and grew up in Hitler's Germany, during World War II.
P.S. January 29, 2021: I wonder whether all of these white supremacists who have been poisoning America are descendants of Nazis who somehow made it to America after WWII. This still would not excuse them, but it might explain a lot of things.
Ask the author's mother! Because that's what she did.
This memoir starts out a bit clumsy, but by the time you get to page 3, you are hooked. I kept reading two nights until 5 a.m., even though I had promised my husband to turn off the light and sleep at decent hours.
How can a woman emigrate to America when she dislikes anything that isn't German? -- How can a woman continuously infiltrate her child's brain with her weird perception of being German, with her weird take of World War II (for instance, blaming the Allieds for bombing German cities, completely disregarding the fact that it was Hitler who had started the war), and with her weird dreams that Germany could have, should have won the war if only Hitler had listened a bit more to his generals? -- And how can a woman poison her child's soul by continuously hammering it into her child that his father (a somewhat primitive but good-natured and very patient man) is a No-Good Sonofabitch?
With all understanding for war trauma and homesickness for Germany, THIS IS BEYOND ME!
I admire the author for still finding excuses for his mother. As a matter of fact, I admire him for not just simply strangling her. -- And I feel sorry for his father. I really feel sorry for him. -- Most of all, however, I feel sorry for the author. What a dreadful childhood! How many years of his life made miserable! Did I not know that he lived to write a book, I would have feared him ending up a mercenary (playing war until some bitter end) or committing suicide. It is amazing that he made it through this hell without crashing. People have crashed with so much better childhoods.
Yes, this book could have used some professional proofreading. Yes, it has punctuation problems. And yes, most of the German words in this book are spelled wrong. But none of this counts. I would not even substract a single star. Not from a memoir like this.
The story of this private continuation of World War II, forced upon the author, is classic stuff for an opera. At least, it should be made a movie.
Btw, I am German and grew up in Hitler's Germany, during World War II.
P.S. January 29, 2021: I wonder whether all of these white supremacists who have been poisoning America are descendants of Nazis who somehow made it to America after WWII. This still would not excuse them, but it might explain a lot of things.
October 11, 2013
"When I Was German" by Alan Wynzel is a bitter sweet childhood memoir of a young man growing up in his own private war zone that is the marriage between his German mother and his Jewish father in America during the 1960s and 1970s.
It is a moving tale about a child caught in the parent's volatile relationship, the clash of their cultures and personalities and the resulting identity issues for the young men brought on by conflicting ideas and role models.
Wynzel's perception of the Jewish and the German cultures is a very interesting perspective and one that benefits particularly from being told by the point of view of an adolescent. His childhood fantasies, his perception of films and comments about Germans in the US (particularly about the 1976 Munich Olympics hostage drama) and the descriptions of the family holidays in Germany are insightful, heart breaking and thought provoking. Beign German myself and living abroad - even twenty years later than this book's story - I can relate to many of the author's experiences.
Wynzel does an excellent job at describing his experiences realistically and honest, making this an engaging and compelling page turner for me. This is an interesting and unique life story that deserves to be told and read.
It is a moving tale about a child caught in the parent's volatile relationship, the clash of their cultures and personalities and the resulting identity issues for the young men brought on by conflicting ideas and role models.
Wynzel's perception of the Jewish and the German cultures is a very interesting perspective and one that benefits particularly from being told by the point of view of an adolescent. His childhood fantasies, his perception of films and comments about Germans in the US (particularly about the 1976 Munich Olympics hostage drama) and the descriptions of the family holidays in Germany are insightful, heart breaking and thought provoking. Beign German myself and living abroad - even twenty years later than this book's story - I can relate to many of the author's experiences.
Wynzel does an excellent job at describing his experiences realistically and honest, making this an engaging and compelling page turner for me. This is an interesting and unique life story that deserves to be told and read.
November 10, 2013
"When I Was German" by Alan Wynzel is a riveting and engaging memoir of a child who matures into a young man in the US, raised in unique and challenging circumstances of a German mother and a Jewish father. The time period is 1960’s and 1970’s when the echoes of World War II are still heard in his household, especially considering the backgrounds of his parents.
He is caught between two different cultures, religions, and world views and struggles to find his own path in life. Both of his parents were shaped by real events and political propaganda, and their methods of raising their son reflect their own internal turmoil. Christmas with toys but without Jesus, Menorah next to the Christmas tree, Bar Mitzvah followed by visits to Germany, ham sandwiches after visits to the synagogue – all these events created a childhood as unique as it was traumatic and confusing.
At one point, Alan Wynzel writes that his mother “was an open vessel shaped by the songs and marches of the Hitler Youth, burdened by her own pliant grief, twisted, in a bitter circle, into hate.” And just when she seems to have gained some confidence in her heritage and looks forward to the glory that would be cast upon Germany during the Munich Olympics, her country, once again, becomes the center of the world’s negative attention, creating more conflict in the family. In the words of the author, his mother’s “Munchen Olympics were ruined by the Arabs and the Jews and I was dreading what she would say about it.”
All throughout his childhood, the author felt torn between the two strong forces that were his parents. Later in life, he reconciled the situation for himself by realizing that both “of them were bad, and both were good to me, in their own ways. But neither was evil.” They were human and as all humans, prone to error, especially in the dramatic circumstances they were put in by life and fate.
A beautifully-written, honest, emotional, and compelling memoir that provides insight not only into universal human truths about the relationship between parents and children, but also into the history of World War II and the post-war era. A wonderful story.
He is caught between two different cultures, religions, and world views and struggles to find his own path in life. Both of his parents were shaped by real events and political propaganda, and their methods of raising their son reflect their own internal turmoil. Christmas with toys but without Jesus, Menorah next to the Christmas tree, Bar Mitzvah followed by visits to Germany, ham sandwiches after visits to the synagogue – all these events created a childhood as unique as it was traumatic and confusing.
At one point, Alan Wynzel writes that his mother “was an open vessel shaped by the songs and marches of the Hitler Youth, burdened by her own pliant grief, twisted, in a bitter circle, into hate.” And just when she seems to have gained some confidence in her heritage and looks forward to the glory that would be cast upon Germany during the Munich Olympics, her country, once again, becomes the center of the world’s negative attention, creating more conflict in the family. In the words of the author, his mother’s “Munchen Olympics were ruined by the Arabs and the Jews and I was dreading what she would say about it.”
All throughout his childhood, the author felt torn between the two strong forces that were his parents. Later in life, he reconciled the situation for himself by realizing that both “of them were bad, and both were good to me, in their own ways. But neither was evil.” They were human and as all humans, prone to error, especially in the dramatic circumstances they were put in by life and fate.
A beautifully-written, honest, emotional, and compelling memoir that provides insight not only into universal human truths about the relationship between parents and children, but also into the history of World War II and the post-war era. A wonderful story.
December 30, 2013
More than a mere childhood memoir, When I Was German, Alan Wynzel's moving account of his often tumultuous formative years, is a deceptively simple tale of a little boy who must find some way to survive the inner turmoil and often bitter deprivations of the private little war that once raged between his Jewish American father and immigrant German mother.
This richly detailed and deeply engrossing slice of late 20th century Americana reads more like the riveting eyewitness narrative of a lone soldier who struggles to not just live to see the end of a great conflict, but also has to somehow find a way to thrive and grow from what scarce nourishment is usually afforded to any windblown sapling that suffers the misfortune of having been seeded in battle torn earth.
Told in simple, yet often devastatingly hard hitting prose, this wonderfully unassuming book manages to soar high above the fray that it so poignantly depicts. Like a phoenix freshly risen from the scalding crucible of war, it rises melodically, singing a rousing hymn of survival, in its own quiet, mournful and richly syncopated harmony; suspiciously akin to a lovingly measured and richly embroidered medieval canticle.
Perhaps most impressive of all however, is that the author's inner struggle is offered up to the reader so thoughtfully, with such frankness, honesty and humility, that it allows one to not only identify with the predicament of that once mute witness - that vestige of the little boy who survived it all - but to also imbibe the conflict between the two parents from a surprisingly objective and sympathetic standpoint.
In other words, when I had turned the last page of this wonderful sonnet dedicated to boyhood days gone by, I found myself surprisingly feeling as much understanding and genuine sympathy for the parental figures in the story as I did for the author and what he was forced to endure at their hands all those years ago.
For surely, When I Was German is akin to a bittersweet song of love and devotion to the two tragically flawed yet somehow noble titans who so clumsily slugged it out in the hallowed halls of Mr. Wynzel's long ago, but never forgotten childhood memories.
Be it sung in the storied environs of Germanic Valhalla or the once impregnable walls of the holy city of Jerusalem, the mighty, yet all too mortal combatants and the dutiful little soldier they perhaps inadvertently trained all too well, somehow, despite all the misdirected angst, still managed to leave behind a beautiful legacy in the lesson their story teaches.
Because, most of all, for me, Alan Wynzel has masterfully crafted a kind of modern parable that eloquently and even effortlessly schools the thoughtful reader on the trials and travails of every child forced to endure the privations wrought by internecine familial warfare.
I therefore find myself eternally grateful to the author, not because he had to endure it all, but because he had the conscience, the presence of mind, the richness of character, and thankfully, the deftness of intellect, to forever commit his story to the written page.
When I Was German is, quite simply, in its owns special way, one of the finest books I have ever read. And like the best movies you ever see, as well as the best books you ever have the fortune to read, it will not soon be forgotten.
This richly detailed and deeply engrossing slice of late 20th century Americana reads more like the riveting eyewitness narrative of a lone soldier who struggles to not just live to see the end of a great conflict, but also has to somehow find a way to thrive and grow from what scarce nourishment is usually afforded to any windblown sapling that suffers the misfortune of having been seeded in battle torn earth.
Told in simple, yet often devastatingly hard hitting prose, this wonderfully unassuming book manages to soar high above the fray that it so poignantly depicts. Like a phoenix freshly risen from the scalding crucible of war, it rises melodically, singing a rousing hymn of survival, in its own quiet, mournful and richly syncopated harmony; suspiciously akin to a lovingly measured and richly embroidered medieval canticle.
Perhaps most impressive of all however, is that the author's inner struggle is offered up to the reader so thoughtfully, with such frankness, honesty and humility, that it allows one to not only identify with the predicament of that once mute witness - that vestige of the little boy who survived it all - but to also imbibe the conflict between the two parents from a surprisingly objective and sympathetic standpoint.
In other words, when I had turned the last page of this wonderful sonnet dedicated to boyhood days gone by, I found myself surprisingly feeling as much understanding and genuine sympathy for the parental figures in the story as I did for the author and what he was forced to endure at their hands all those years ago.
For surely, When I Was German is akin to a bittersweet song of love and devotion to the two tragically flawed yet somehow noble titans who so clumsily slugged it out in the hallowed halls of Mr. Wynzel's long ago, but never forgotten childhood memories.
Be it sung in the storied environs of Germanic Valhalla or the once impregnable walls of the holy city of Jerusalem, the mighty, yet all too mortal combatants and the dutiful little soldier they perhaps inadvertently trained all too well, somehow, despite all the misdirected angst, still managed to leave behind a beautiful legacy in the lesson their story teaches.
Because, most of all, for me, Alan Wynzel has masterfully crafted a kind of modern parable that eloquently and even effortlessly schools the thoughtful reader on the trials and travails of every child forced to endure the privations wrought by internecine familial warfare.
I therefore find myself eternally grateful to the author, not because he had to endure it all, but because he had the conscience, the presence of mind, the richness of character, and thankfully, the deftness of intellect, to forever commit his story to the written page.
When I Was German is, quite simply, in its owns special way, one of the finest books I have ever read. And like the best movies you ever see, as well as the best books you ever have the fortune to read, it will not soon be forgotten.
December 15, 2013
Decades after World War II was over, the battle raged on through Alan's childhood with his German mother and Jewish father. An unknowing pawn in their individual struggles for power and control over each other, he fought his own battle in discovering his own identity apart from his warring parents.
Alan tells his story in a unique voice that you can't break away from, that you feel compelled to listen to, all the while holding your breath until the very end.
A cautionary tale for alienating parents...
Excellent!
Alan tells his story in a unique voice that you can't break away from, that you feel compelled to listen to, all the while holding your breath until the very end.
A cautionary tale for alienating parents...
Excellent!
February 3, 2020
When I Was German" by Alan Wynzel is a touching look into a child’s life who was brought up by a German mother and a Jewish father. This in itself caused confusing and difficult circumstances.
This coming-of-age story was written with a great deal of honesty and heart. There is a realness in the dialog and the raw emotion hurts like a knife at at times. The descriptions are crystal clear as the author takes you back in time where sacrifices are made only just to survive. This heavy memoir touched me deep down inside. I could feel the pain the engulfed this boy and his mother. At times I considered the author brave for sharing so much vulnerability. But that is what really pulled me in. The honesty and the raw emotion. Beautifully written I was absorbed into the story from the very first sentence.
What happens when you are living in the past because your present is too hard but then you come to realize the past is now gone? Sometimes there is no one to blame and you just have to live with the consequences of your life.
"It is a sound I will always hear. A part of me will always run across a shattered, smokey landscape, where the earth leaps to meet the sky. Shells will scatter across my path, and I will dodge, and fall, and get up again, gripping my riffle tighter. And run faster. The war plays on, and I am there, I was there, and I will always be there."
This coming-of-age story was written with a great deal of honesty and heart. There is a realness in the dialog and the raw emotion hurts like a knife at at times. The descriptions are crystal clear as the author takes you back in time where sacrifices are made only just to survive. This heavy memoir touched me deep down inside. I could feel the pain the engulfed this boy and his mother. At times I considered the author brave for sharing so much vulnerability. But that is what really pulled me in. The honesty and the raw emotion. Beautifully written I was absorbed into the story from the very first sentence.
What happens when you are living in the past because your present is too hard but then you come to realize the past is now gone? Sometimes there is no one to blame and you just have to live with the consequences of your life.
"It is a sound I will always hear. A part of me will always run across a shattered, smokey landscape, where the earth leaps to meet the sky. Shells will scatter across my path, and I will dodge, and fall, and get up again, gripping my riffle tighter. And run faster. The war plays on, and I am there, I was there, and I will always be there."
January 19, 2014
A very interesting read. The author spills his guts recounting his dysfunctional childhood. His mother, a byproduct of Nazi Germany and his father, a Jewish cab driver in New York. You read that right; A Nazi marries a Jew. Doesn’t sound like a marriage made in heaven does it? It isn’t.
Trying to understand the psyche of the mom could probably fill fifty psychological books. Despite her loving her Germany: 1933- 1945, she never finds the peace or the past she loved. Today’s Germany is overrun with Russians and Americans. No mention of the French, Canadians or British. And she hates the first two. They were responsible for destroying her country. No mention of Hitler plunging them into this horrific war. When her husband mentions Dachua, Auschwitz, Bergen-Belsen or any of the other Concentration Camps, she flies off the handle. She makes mention of living four kilometers from one of the camps saying, “no one knew what was going on.” This reminds me of the SS Captain’s wife in “The Boy in the Striped Pajamas.” She has no clue what her husband does until their son wanders into the camp to help an inmate find his father. I’ll give her that. Himmler made sure the camps were well protected and garrisoned to keep the local populace in the dark. But after the war, the evidence was overwhelming, yet denial still persisted.
Did she really want Hitler to win the war? Absolutely! She hated what the Russians had done to the “Fatherland.” Yet, she makes no mention of the 20million Russians who died for their country.
The pro of the story is the raw energy and emotion Mr. Wynzel fills the pages with. Many readers have commented on how his father should have strangled his mother or packed his bags and left. Maybe he should have, but I don’t think he would have done well in jail. We are led to believe his father was a “No good, lazy son-of-a-bitch.” It’s hard to tell. He drove a cab for thirty years, so he had some work ethic. He was a man of modest means and married a woman who was convinced she was entitled to the best America had to offer. If that’s the case, then the blame falls of her for her own choices. He became the kicking post for her failures and choices in life.
Cons
1) The punctuation, grammar and structure follow his childhood—a train wreck. For the most part, it’s non-existent.
2) Despite his family being so poor they barely had enough money for rent and heating oil, I found it interesting how the toys he was given were the most expensive of the day. I know, because we are roughly the same age. I can remember saving my pennies and quarters for “Hot Wheel” cars and WWII models. No, they weren’t cheap. And what of the number of trips to Germany? Airplane trips to Europe were definitely not on the cheap side.
3) The book really dragged after the halfway mark. It was the same situations rehashed over and over again. It became mind numbing and repetitive.
4) I can’t believe how short the part concerning the Olympic Games in 1976 was. Arabs break into the Olympic Village, capturing the Jewish athletes. I remember this very well. Did the family turn off the TV or did they avoid the coverage all together?
5) Did the author receive a scholarship to attend college? It would appear so since the family had no money to send him, or did he work his way through?
Yes, there are a lot of answered questions.
Who will enjoy this? That’s tough. Not sure if the general reading public will dive into this one, but if a family has relatives who were in Germany during the war years and shared their experiences and stories, I can see where it will strike many chords.
Three stars.
Trying to understand the psyche of the mom could probably fill fifty psychological books. Despite her loving her Germany: 1933- 1945, she never finds the peace or the past she loved. Today’s Germany is overrun with Russians and Americans. No mention of the French, Canadians or British. And she hates the first two. They were responsible for destroying her country. No mention of Hitler plunging them into this horrific war. When her husband mentions Dachua, Auschwitz, Bergen-Belsen or any of the other Concentration Camps, she flies off the handle. She makes mention of living four kilometers from one of the camps saying, “no one knew what was going on.” This reminds me of the SS Captain’s wife in “The Boy in the Striped Pajamas.” She has no clue what her husband does until their son wanders into the camp to help an inmate find his father. I’ll give her that. Himmler made sure the camps were well protected and garrisoned to keep the local populace in the dark. But after the war, the evidence was overwhelming, yet denial still persisted.
Did she really want Hitler to win the war? Absolutely! She hated what the Russians had done to the “Fatherland.” Yet, she makes no mention of the 20million Russians who died for their country.
The pro of the story is the raw energy and emotion Mr. Wynzel fills the pages with. Many readers have commented on how his father should have strangled his mother or packed his bags and left. Maybe he should have, but I don’t think he would have done well in jail. We are led to believe his father was a “No good, lazy son-of-a-bitch.” It’s hard to tell. He drove a cab for thirty years, so he had some work ethic. He was a man of modest means and married a woman who was convinced she was entitled to the best America had to offer. If that’s the case, then the blame falls of her for her own choices. He became the kicking post for her failures and choices in life.
Cons
1) The punctuation, grammar and structure follow his childhood—a train wreck. For the most part, it’s non-existent.
2) Despite his family being so poor they barely had enough money for rent and heating oil, I found it interesting how the toys he was given were the most expensive of the day. I know, because we are roughly the same age. I can remember saving my pennies and quarters for “Hot Wheel” cars and WWII models. No, they weren’t cheap. And what of the number of trips to Germany? Airplane trips to Europe were definitely not on the cheap side.
3) The book really dragged after the halfway mark. It was the same situations rehashed over and over again. It became mind numbing and repetitive.
4) I can’t believe how short the part concerning the Olympic Games in 1976 was. Arabs break into the Olympic Village, capturing the Jewish athletes. I remember this very well. Did the family turn off the TV or did they avoid the coverage all together?
5) Did the author receive a scholarship to attend college? It would appear so since the family had no money to send him, or did he work his way through?
Yes, there are a lot of answered questions.
Who will enjoy this? That’s tough. Not sure if the general reading public will dive into this one, but if a family has relatives who were in Germany during the war years and shared their experiences and stories, I can see where it will strike many chords.
Three stars.
January 3, 2014
Alan Wynzel is a masterful writer and storyteller who drew me into every detail of his memoir When I was German. Even after I finished reading about his lost childhood, the images he created in my imagination continue to haunt me. A story about two dissimilar, warring parents who lived in a past that could not be regained, whose religious, political, and moral beliefs caught their child in a web of emotional confusion and conflicted identity. The author’s sad, at times humorous recounting of survival techniques anchored in a vivid imagination allow the reader to comprehend how the child endured the bullying in, and outside his home. In spite of the psychological abuse his parents showered on him, Wynzel writes about their shortcomings with soulful understanding and deeply felt empathy.
The writing is honest and at times wrenchingly emotional. I love how the flow of consciousness is not disturbed by punctuation. In the end, I was pleased to see the story come full circle as the concluding words connected to the beginning, indicating that the author had come to terms with his childhood and his identity. I commend Alan for his enigmatic writing, and thank him for offering the world this beautifully written, highly personal story. This is a must read for anyone who enjoys well written memoirs and personal stories.
The writing is honest and at times wrenchingly emotional. I love how the flow of consciousness is not disturbed by punctuation. In the end, I was pleased to see the story come full circle as the concluding words connected to the beginning, indicating that the author had come to terms with his childhood and his identity. I commend Alan for his enigmatic writing, and thank him for offering the world this beautifully written, highly personal story. This is a must read for anyone who enjoys well written memoirs and personal stories.
January 7, 2014
Very drawn out
this book.was not what I expected. the ending was disappointing. the story was drawn out without a Very good conclusion.
this book.was not what I expected. the ending was disappointing. the story was drawn out without a Very good conclusion.
January 23, 2014
Well written but enormously depressing memoir about dysfunctional German/Jewish family.
January 22, 2014
This memoir could have been written as a confirmation of Tolstoy’s famous “Anne Karenina” principle,” All happy families are alike. Each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way”. Alan Wynzel has written a fascinating and rather disturbing account of his early life.
A fiercely patriotic German lady, who admires Hitler, marries a Jewish Russian-American cab driver in New York, after being “seduced”, more like raped, by a GI in allied occupied Germany and then abandoned in the USA by another GI she was supposed to marry. One suspects that her being pregnant with the author’s older sister, is a factor in her abandonment.
The unlikely relationship or alliance between the authors’ parents, soon deteriorates into a “war”. This is the metaphor he uses throughout the book. Because he just a boy, this takes on the nature of a “world war”. Freud could have had a field day with this family. The mother hates most things about America, and soon grows to hate her husband, basically because he is not a German. She develops this as explaining why he does not provide well for his family and lacks ambition. If the couple are at war, then the author often seems to be cast in the role of the injured innocent, but not the collateral damage, because his mother intentionally turns him against his father. His father reacts badly to this manipulation and gradually withdraws from the family and from positive contact with his son.
The son initially buys into his mother’s idealized version of Hitler’s Germany and the superiority of German culture.
When she takes him to live in Germany and leaves her husband, this idealized version becomes tarnished for both mother and son. Alan fits even worse into his life in Germany than he does in the USA. They soon return to the States, and the war resumes until the parents separate.
I found this book very interesting , but not a "fun” read. It is well paced and well written. The author succeeds in the task of reflecting the perspective, and at times, the language of a young boy.
It cannot have been an easy book to write, given the nature of the story, and the sense of family alienation.
March 3, 2015
This memoir should be required reading for couples contemplating marriage. Although the author wrote specifically about the domestic war between his German mother and Jewish father, the references to World War II could have been replaced with any number of conflicts that fuel marital wars and make children of those marriages Prisoners of War.
I was drawn to the book, picking it up and putting it aside to tend to real life, several times. I read most of it in the space of a few days recently. I felt as if the author was present and unloading all the pain he'd experienced on me because he knew I'd understand. I've read other reviews that complained of repetition. I think the repetition is necessary for the reader to understand what drove the author to react as he does at the end of the memoir. The reader is put in the author's place time and again and is not surprised when he reaches his limits.
Much of the historical and cultural information was new to me. I enjoyed the train-of-thought writing style that helped me see the world as it might look to a child who had the benefit of an adult's insight. I was reminded of people I have known. So, I would have to say the memoir succeeded for me in that I learned from it, enjoyed the writing style, and recognized the truth it represented.
I highly recommend this book. The author transcends his own struggle to show us that war is personal in ways we might not have dreamed, and that it doesn't necessarily end when countries involved agree to peace.
I was drawn to the book, picking it up and putting it aside to tend to real life, several times. I read most of it in the space of a few days recently. I felt as if the author was present and unloading all the pain he'd experienced on me because he knew I'd understand. I've read other reviews that complained of repetition. I think the repetition is necessary for the reader to understand what drove the author to react as he does at the end of the memoir. The reader is put in the author's place time and again and is not surprised when he reaches his limits.
Much of the historical and cultural information was new to me. I enjoyed the train-of-thought writing style that helped me see the world as it might look to a child who had the benefit of an adult's insight. I was reminded of people I have known. So, I would have to say the memoir succeeded for me in that I learned from it, enjoyed the writing style, and recognized the truth it represented.
I highly recommend this book. The author transcends his own struggle to show us that war is personal in ways we might not have dreamed, and that it doesn't necessarily end when countries involved agree to peace.
July 13, 2014
German is as human and real as it gets. And honest, brutally so, for it reveals the various tendrils of hope, angst, and pain that beget us -- the tiny betrayals and promises that stalk our lives. Told through the eyes of a small boy caught between two warring parents. And like that small boy we wonder at times should we be listening? Should we be peering through this door? Then we turn the page in want to witness more. Not entertaining so much as riveting. For here the author wields his pen like a scapel to expose the raw soul of self and others -- all the sorry, joyful, wretched mix of us. And does so bravely, in blistering, graphic detail.
November 16, 2014
Memoir by the child of a holocaust survivor who grew up in the US.... I think his parents would have been mis-matched and unhappy in any generation, and his childhood was pretty intensely difficult. Well written and honest.
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