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The Sharkpocalypse Trilogy #1
Sharcano
A burnt and half-eaten megalodon shark corpse is found beached. A priest commits suicide. A previously unknown volcano rises from the China Sea and brings about a tsunami that destroys Shanghai. Yellowstone erupts after 640,000 years of silence. A pit in Nicaragua known as the "mouth of hell" begins violently spewing lava.
When Reporter Mick Cathcart and Marine Biologist Agnes Brach set out looking for answers, they never expected to stumble upon the biblical end times. Yet with sharks made of lava shooting from volcanoes to devour anyone in their way, how could anyone deny it?
With the help of a beleaguered priest and a billionaire industrialist, Mick and Agnes scramble to shutter the volcanoes and put down the lava sharks before the whole world burns to a cinder.
When Reporter Mick Cathcart and Marine Biologist Agnes Brach set out looking for answers, they never expected to stumble upon the biblical end times. Yet with sharks made of lava shooting from volcanoes to devour anyone in their way, how could anyone deny it?
With the help of a beleaguered priest and a billionaire industrialist, Mick and Agnes scramble to shutter the volcanoes and put down the lava sharks before the whole world burns to a cinder.
420 pages, Paperback
First published January 22, 2014
24 people are currently reading
709 people want to read
About the author
Jose Prendes
10 books15 followersJose Prendes, international man of mystery, was found swaddled in a basket among the reeds at the mouth of the Amazon. Raised by local shamans, Jose learned the magic of language and decided to dedicate his skills to the betterment of all mankind. He trekked to America at the age of 12, on foot no less, and made his home in Florida for a few years. After discovering a cure for the common cold, and losing it among his comic book collection, Prendes decided to abandon Florida for sunny Los Angeles.
Upon arriving in the city of angels, he was made the leader of a small group of cinephiles who believed he was the second coming of Shakespeare. Wielding immense power, and a ridiculously awesome dvd collection, Prendes continues his struggle to save the world from the coming peanut butter and jelly apocalypse.
Upon arriving in the city of angels, he was made the leader of a small group of cinephiles who believed he was the second coming of Shakespeare. Wielding immense power, and a ridiculously awesome dvd collection, Prendes continues his struggle to save the world from the coming peanut butter and jelly apocalypse.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 77 reviews
July 10, 2024
SHARK WEEK CONTIIIIINUUUUUUUUES!!!
SHHHHHAAAARRRCCCCAAANNOOOOOOOOO!!!!
yeah, i gave this book five stars, what? they are a different kind of five stars than the five stars i have given, say Wuthering Heights or Bleak House. they are more like the kind of five stars i have given to books like Abraham Lincoln: Fuck Lord of the Moon and Reamed by Ratatoskr, where the stars are more about how appreciative i am that this book actually exists than that i am assessing their literary merit or any lasting contribution to humanity. those five stars represent the joy i felt reading this book. although, even then, this was probably more like a 4.5 stars because fun as this was, it was still FOUR HUNDRED AND FIFTEEN PAGES long, which is really long for this kind of thing, and it is only the first book in a trilogy. so, so many more pages to come.
this is in the fine literary-monster-pulp tradition as guy smith's amazing "crab" series (of which i have only read Killer Crabs and Crabs' Moon - must get on the other five), and also vernon d. burns' Double Feature and Gods of the Jungle Planet. (all books to which i have given five stars, so you are seeing what i am meaning) however, this is neither sexist enough nor racist enough to really be keeping their offensive flame alive, nor is there nearly enough inexplicable sexual intercourse. which kind of ties into the "not sexist enough" part - these female characters have more to do than just act helpless and ask stupid questions while they are on their knees. which is a thumbs-up for libbers, but there is something so time-capsule charming about those guy smith books with their horrible drunk-grandpa giggle-cringe moments. this one is not without cringe, but it's less pervasive.
so, yes, everyone loves sharknado. and sharktopus. and shark polar vortex.
and avalanche sharks oh my god
but my favorite bad shark film has always been bait, in which a tsunami in australia causes a mall and underground parking garage to become flooded and filled with trouble
and the beginning of this book reminded me of that, when a volcano erupts, causing a tsunami which floods the streets of shanghai with shark-infested water, and there is much jaw-snapping at people on rooftops. and we're off.
so a lot of you are probably rolling your eyes at this already, calling it a cheap sharknado rip off. but good people, i entreat you - listen. this is more than just some wind picking up some sharks and tossing them at some aryans. because while it starts out with ho-hum normal shark week sharks, it soon escalates into…LAVA SHARKS
they are sharks and they are made of lava
because fuck you, science!!
and they can get you anywhere, because volcanos start shooting off all across the globe, and lava sharks erupt out of cracks in the ground and getcha even in places where you should be safe from freaking volcanos.
and they are so angry. and hungry.
but never fear, because there are plenty of alpha males at the ready
"I've worked camera on a dozen or so nature shows, Mister Cathcart, I won't slow you down out there," Rick replied with a satisfying and friendly Australian accent, tossing him a wink, but not the good kind that Jessica at the park was throwing around.
"Rick, nice to know you. Question: Let's say we're in the field and you wake up in your tent to find an emperor scorpion on your chest, what do you do?"
"Whatever the fuck it is, I'll brush it off of me and stomp it to shit," Rick replied without hesitation.
"Good answer, you'll do nicely."
take that, lava sharks! prepare for some stomping!
a lot of this book's length is owing to its parade of similes. sometimes there are as many as three similes on a single page. here is a sampling, but by no means a complete record:
-the vehicle would tear through the jet's tail section like his dick through spring breakers
-tossing the squid away like a Raggedy-Ann doll out a car window
-the sight of the Megalodon, like a meat train derailed on the beach
-he would snatch it like a horny teen would snatch a virgin cherry
-like a pile of dung festering in an abandoned outhouse
-like a constipated poodle
-he moved like an inchworm, but with a rocket up its ass
-like he had just shit a hornet's nest
-like a class clown at a helium party
-a hoarse shriek of fright like a drowning horse (see what he did there?)
-He eyeballed the fat, awkward wallet and spread it like a pair of legs on prom night
-like a freaked-out monkey stuck in a tree that he had forgotten to climb down from
-like a teen at Christmas enjoying his first hit of cocaine off an Asian hooker's tit
-like something a clown had shat out
-like grapes with fireworks shoved up inside them
-like an old man with a free fuck coupon to the local whorehouse
-like a professional pants remover
and this really specific one:
-like a giant blob of burning silly putty slamming over and over against a newspaper to retain the image of the latest Calvin and Hobbes adventure.
this book will probably be overlooked when it comes time to distribute the national book awards. but, if you are looking for a book where a giant squid fights a megalodon, only to be trumped by a volcano, new york city gets covered in lava, a lava shark goes right for a lady's boobs, plus sasquatch, plague, satanists, one thousand hilarious gory deaths, instant cauterization, and a fair assessment of a popular movie
"This reminds me of that long ass movie with the two midgets," Trigg recounted. "The one about the ring and all the talkin'?"
you can't do much better than this. and if you can, please drop me a note.
i will leave you with this
Lava sharks jumped up at him from below, snapping at him like little barking Chihuahuas at someone's heels. Except Chihuahuas weren't on fire and flying through the air at you. They would be a very serious threat then.
oh, yes.
look out.
come to my blog!
SHHHHHAAAARRRCCCCAAANNOOOOOOOOO!!!!
yeah, i gave this book five stars, what? they are a different kind of five stars than the five stars i have given, say Wuthering Heights or Bleak House. they are more like the kind of five stars i have given to books like Abraham Lincoln: Fuck Lord of the Moon and Reamed by Ratatoskr, where the stars are more about how appreciative i am that this book actually exists than that i am assessing their literary merit or any lasting contribution to humanity. those five stars represent the joy i felt reading this book. although, even then, this was probably more like a 4.5 stars because fun as this was, it was still FOUR HUNDRED AND FIFTEEN PAGES long, which is really long for this kind of thing, and it is only the first book in a trilogy. so, so many more pages to come.
this is in the fine literary-monster-pulp tradition as guy smith's amazing "crab" series (of which i have only read Killer Crabs and Crabs' Moon - must get on the other five), and also vernon d. burns' Double Feature and Gods of the Jungle Planet. (all books to which i have given five stars, so you are seeing what i am meaning) however, this is neither sexist enough nor racist enough to really be keeping their offensive flame alive, nor is there nearly enough inexplicable sexual intercourse. which kind of ties into the "not sexist enough" part - these female characters have more to do than just act helpless and ask stupid questions while they are on their knees. which is a thumbs-up for libbers, but there is something so time-capsule charming about those guy smith books with their horrible drunk-grandpa giggle-cringe moments. this one is not without cringe, but it's less pervasive.
so, yes, everyone loves sharknado. and sharktopus. and shark polar vortex.
and avalanche sharks oh my god
but my favorite bad shark film has always been bait, in which a tsunami in australia causes a mall and underground parking garage to become flooded and filled with trouble
and the beginning of this book reminded me of that, when a volcano erupts, causing a tsunami which floods the streets of shanghai with shark-infested water, and there is much jaw-snapping at people on rooftops. and we're off.
so a lot of you are probably rolling your eyes at this already, calling it a cheap sharknado rip off. but good people, i entreat you - listen. this is more than just some wind picking up some sharks and tossing them at some aryans. because while it starts out with ho-hum normal shark week sharks, it soon escalates into…LAVA SHARKS
they are sharks and they are made of lava
because fuck you, science!!
and they can get you anywhere, because volcanos start shooting off all across the globe, and lava sharks erupt out of cracks in the ground and getcha even in places where you should be safe from freaking volcanos.
and they are so angry. and hungry.
but never fear, because there are plenty of alpha males at the ready
"I've worked camera on a dozen or so nature shows, Mister Cathcart, I won't slow you down out there," Rick replied with a satisfying and friendly Australian accent, tossing him a wink, but not the good kind that Jessica at the park was throwing around.
"Rick, nice to know you. Question: Let's say we're in the field and you wake up in your tent to find an emperor scorpion on your chest, what do you do?"
"Whatever the fuck it is, I'll brush it off of me and stomp it to shit," Rick replied without hesitation.
"Good answer, you'll do nicely."
take that, lava sharks! prepare for some stomping!
a lot of this book's length is owing to its parade of similes. sometimes there are as many as three similes on a single page. here is a sampling, but by no means a complete record:
-the vehicle would tear through the jet's tail section like his dick through spring breakers
-tossing the squid away like a Raggedy-Ann doll out a car window
-the sight of the Megalodon, like a meat train derailed on the beach
-he would snatch it like a horny teen would snatch a virgin cherry
-like a pile of dung festering in an abandoned outhouse
-like a constipated poodle
-he moved like an inchworm, but with a rocket up its ass
-like he had just shit a hornet's nest
-like a class clown at a helium party
-a hoarse shriek of fright like a drowning horse (see what he did there?)
-He eyeballed the fat, awkward wallet and spread it like a pair of legs on prom night
-like a freaked-out monkey stuck in a tree that he had forgotten to climb down from
-like a teen at Christmas enjoying his first hit of cocaine off an Asian hooker's tit
-like something a clown had shat out
-like grapes with fireworks shoved up inside them
-like an old man with a free fuck coupon to the local whorehouse
-like a professional pants remover
and this really specific one:
-like a giant blob of burning silly putty slamming over and over against a newspaper to retain the image of the latest Calvin and Hobbes adventure.
this book will probably be overlooked when it comes time to distribute the national book awards. but, if you are looking for a book where a giant squid fights a megalodon, only to be trumped by a volcano, new york city gets covered in lava, a lava shark goes right for a lady's boobs, plus sasquatch, plague, satanists, one thousand hilarious gory deaths, instant cauterization, and a fair assessment of a popular movie
"This reminds me of that long ass movie with the two midgets," Trigg recounted. "The one about the ring and all the talkin'?"
you can't do much better than this. and if you can, please drop me a note.
i will leave you with this
Lava sharks jumped up at him from below, snapping at him like little barking Chihuahuas at someone's heels. Except Chihuahuas weren't on fire and flying through the air at you. They would be a very serious threat then.
oh, yes.
look out.
come to my blog!
March 21, 2014
When volcanoes erupt all over the world, the lava is not as dangerous as the unholy beasts that swim in it, the lava sharks! Can a motley crew scattered all over the world save humanity from the lava shark menace and the accompanying hellfire flu?
I got this from Netgalley.
I eyed this up on Netgalley for a couple weeks before finally pulling the trigger on it. It looks like a B-movie in book form. What could be wrong with that? I'll get back to that in a minute.
Sharcano is way better than it has any right to be. It reads like one of Christopher Moore's Pine Cove books, only on a global scale. Instead of a B-movie in book form, it's more like a parody/homage of big budget disaster movies. It could easily have been a Michael Bay movie with an all Aerosmith soundtrack.
Sharcano packs a lot into its pages: philandering newscasters, hot lady scientists, sinister Asian scientists, redneck Bigfoot hunters, Area 51, volcanoes, disease, and sharks made out of lava. It's a buffet of carnage up in this bitch.
Like I said earlier, the writing was way better than I thought it would be. I actually cared about the characters, something I did not anticipate. It's loaded with funny similes and quotable dialogue, which contributes to the length. And therein lies the rub.
For what it is, Sharcano is about twice as long as it needs to be, especially since it's the first book in a trilogy. When you watch a B-movie or cheesy disaster flick, it's only two hours out of your life. This cheesefest is over 420 pages and it's not as fast of a read as you'd think. Ultimately, it feels like a spectacular 100 page novella crammed into a 420 page book, to paraphrase the mighty Ebert.
Still, it's pretty fun. I was entertained by the concept of lava sharks but it had all worn a little thin by the end. Imagine the feeling you'd get after watching three disaster movies in row.
Three out of five stars. I doubt I'll be returning for the next installment, though.
I got this from Netgalley.
I eyed this up on Netgalley for a couple weeks before finally pulling the trigger on it. It looks like a B-movie in book form. What could be wrong with that? I'll get back to that in a minute.
Sharcano is way better than it has any right to be. It reads like one of Christopher Moore's Pine Cove books, only on a global scale. Instead of a B-movie in book form, it's more like a parody/homage of big budget disaster movies. It could easily have been a Michael Bay movie with an all Aerosmith soundtrack.
Sharcano packs a lot into its pages: philandering newscasters, hot lady scientists, sinister Asian scientists, redneck Bigfoot hunters, Area 51, volcanoes, disease, and sharks made out of lava. It's a buffet of carnage up in this bitch.
Like I said earlier, the writing was way better than I thought it would be. I actually cared about the characters, something I did not anticipate. It's loaded with funny similes and quotable dialogue, which contributes to the length. And therein lies the rub.
For what it is, Sharcano is about twice as long as it needs to be, especially since it's the first book in a trilogy. When you watch a B-movie or cheesy disaster flick, it's only two hours out of your life. This cheesefest is over 420 pages and it's not as fast of a read as you'd think. Ultimately, it feels like a spectacular 100 page novella crammed into a 420 page book, to paraphrase the mighty Ebert.
Still, it's pretty fun. I was entertained by the concept of lava sharks but it had all worn a little thin by the end. Imagine the feeling you'd get after watching three disaster movies in row.
Three out of five stars. I doubt I'll be returning for the next installment, though.
March 23, 2014
I only read to 41%, and that's as far as I'm going. I enjoyed the premise, I got my yucks on some of the godawful choices in characterization/metaphor/dialog etc, but in the meat of it there wasn't enough to sustain my interest. Cost me five bucks and change and I got full value from my amusement, but as an actual monster/disaster book, I don't think it works. There has to be a slim chance the protags will triumph, and when we're talking global, stair-climbing lava sharks, and one of the characters is a priest, well, there can only be a literal Deus ex machina, yeah? Not my favorite trope. I actually want the MCs to die. Both of them. ASAP. I'd rather the books were about the rise to global domination of the lava sharks and their - presumable - demon creator.
I feel like the author relies too heavily on Asian hooker tit jokes, instead of writing a truly awesome OTT Monster book with actual characterization.
I urge you to read Karen's review, which is a far superior experience to reading the book.
***
too stunned to even squee.
sharks made of lava?
*faints*
I feel like the author relies too heavily on Asian hooker tit jokes, instead of writing a truly awesome OTT Monster book with actual characterization.
I urge you to read Karen's review, which is a far superior experience to reading the book.
***
too stunned to even squee.
sharks made of lava?
*faints*
March 24, 2014
Epic cheesy Syfy masquerading as a book?
Lava sharks incinerating the world?
Sign me the fuck up.
Unfortunately, the book fell flat pretty quickly. The main character is probably one of the biggest douchcanoes I've read about in a while. I actually wanted him to die. Quickly and painfully.
Add to this way too many things going on, an influx of useless characters, and just overall nonsensical fuckery, this ended up not being my cuppa.
I wanted some cheese, not twenty tons of melted Velveeta.
2 Ninja-Bunnehs
One extra star was given by the bunnehs against my better judgement. They liked the gore.
Lava sharks incinerating the world?
Sign me the fuck up.
Unfortunately, the book fell flat pretty quickly. The main character is probably one of the biggest douchcanoes I've read about in a while. I actually wanted him to die. Quickly and painfully.
Add to this way too many things going on, an influx of useless characters, and just overall nonsensical fuckery, this ended up not being my cuppa.
I wanted some cheese, not twenty tons of melted Velveeta.
2 Ninja-Bunnehs
One extra star was given by the bunnehs against my better judgement. They liked the gore.
March 29, 2014
I love me some crappy, b-grade sci-fi movies, and that was my main reason for requesting Sharcano.
When I found out I had been approved, and for probably the first hundred pages or so (as well as sporadically throughout the rest of the book) I was going about my day like this:
Then I got into the story, and started to get to know the characters, and started to care about them. Each one of them started out as a stereotypical disaster movie character, or a parody of one,
but there was more below the surface...
I actually really liked what the writer did with the characters for the most part, and at times the descriptions were just awesomely gruesome:
While at the same time not taking themselves too seriously:
But there were a LOT of mistakes in the text; sentences not entirely making sense, incorrect use of "you're" multiple times, instances of incorrect tense, and other typos that I can see making it past a first round of edits, but which should REALLY be picked up on the second round. I can only hope that the copy provided by NetGalley was NOT the final version that went to print.
The opening scene in particular needed a lot of work, jumping back and forth between two different dedicated third person points of view, both male, and both referred to as "he" and "it" at different times, making it hard to work out what exactly is going on, and hard to really lose yourself in the story in that crucial opening scene (bolded emphasis is mine):
The plot: We are introduced to a flurry of characters, and then some bad stuff happens to the planet and some people, and then we meet more characters, and then some volcanoes erupt, then we meet some more characters, and it seems to hold steady for a while. The planet is going to hell, no one knows how to stop it, and then there's this thing that's mentioned only once, where the lava
(Couldn't find a confused shark...)
And I found myself pondering the lava shark's sense of identity:
But by the end of the novel I found myself thinking that this story had pretty much run its course, and the world would live to fight another day.
Some of the things the characters did struck me as incredibly stupid, and I didn't love all of the characters, though I did feel they had a lot to them, and my dislike of them was because of their characterisation, not because I felt they were particularly flat or anything.
Some of the situations were a bit hard to believe (but hey, we are talking about a novel with flying lava sharks), and at times I felt the book was maybe too long for what it was, briefly, before I got swept up in another wave of exciting events.
But the really good thing about the length was that after a while you forgot that it was meant to read like the parody of a shitty thing, and got caught up in the disaster the characters were facing.
In the end, I enjoyed the ride, and I was left feeling like these character were real, and like I might bump into them on the street one day.
If the novel had been edited a little better, it might even have been 3.5 to 4 stars.
I can't say for sure that I will be champing at the bit for books two and three, but I'll probably keep my eyes out for them. I'm curious to see what kind of shark related disaster awaits us in the following books, and a part of me would really like to see the return of some of the characters for the next instalments, though another part of me thinks they've had their fill, and deserve a bit of peace.
I'd recommend this book to fans of dodgy sci-fi/horror/action/disaster movies.
This book was provided free of charge by Curiosity Quills Press, via NetGalley, in exchange for an honest review. Issues related to the editing of the text may not be present in the final copy (and I really hope they aren't!)
When I found out I had been approved, and for probably the first hundred pages or so (as well as sporadically throughout the rest of the book) I was going about my day like this:
Then I got into the story, and started to get to know the characters, and started to care about them. Each one of them started out as a stereotypical disaster movie character, or a parody of one,
“I’m on it, chief,” Perry saluted, and then hiccupped like an old-time booze hound.
“Wait, are you drunk?”
“Are you?” Perry queried back.
“He’s fine,” Mick vouched. “He’s Australian.”
but there was more below the surface...
I actually really liked what the writer did with the characters for the most part, and at times the descriptions were just awesomely gruesome:
She was alive for most of it. She felt her nose fall off with the skin-waterfall that her face had become and her knees bubble and pop on the lava-covered sidewalk.
While at the same time not taking themselves too seriously:
Her last glimpse of this mortal plane was of her feet being eaten away by the flooding lava and remembering that she had forgotten to wear her comfortable shoes. Maybe if she had only worn her comfortable shoes she could have made it,was her last thought.
But there were a LOT of mistakes in the text; sentences not entirely making sense, incorrect use of "you're" multiple times, instances of incorrect tense, and other typos that I can see making it past a first round of edits, but which should REALLY be picked up on the second round. I can only hope that the copy provided by NetGalley was NOT the final version that went to print.
The opening scene in particular needed a lot of work, jumping back and forth between two different dedicated third person points of view, both male, and both referred to as "he" and "it" at different times, making it hard to work out what exactly is going on, and hard to really lose yourself in the story in that crucial opening scene (bolded emphasis is mine):
And why would it be afraid? He was the fiercest predator in the ocean. He could bite blue whales in half with teeth that were seven inches long. Its mouth could swallow a city bus if the situation presented itself. It could topple a high-rise faster than Superman could leap it.
...
This was the lurking shadow that the Megalodon was stalking. Now, unbeknownst to old Meg, the giant squid was stalking him back.
...
A rush of water tossed the Megalodon’s head to the left. Its tingly parts tingled, telling him there was food in the area… big fucking food. It shot forward in the dark, but found nothing where the blast of water had come from. Then another click sent it blasting off toward the right into empty water again. For his part, the giant squid was playing with the poor, old Meg. The squid knew it couldn’t match the Megalodon exactly, but if it tired the thing out, maybe it had a shot of getting a solid grasp and tearing its eye out with its beak.
The plot: We are introduced to a flurry of characters, and then some bad stuff happens to the planet and some people, and then we meet more characters, and then some volcanoes erupt, then we meet some more characters, and it seems to hold steady for a while. The planet is going to hell, no one knows how to stop it, and then there's this thing that's mentioned only once, where the lava
(Couldn't find a confused shark...)
And I found myself pondering the lava shark's sense of identity:
He rose away again as the lava monster splashed down. It formed into thousands of smaller lava sharks that leapt and writhed in the burning sea.
But by the end of the novel I found myself thinking that this story had pretty much run its course, and the world would live to fight another day.
Some of the things the characters did struck me as incredibly stupid, and I didn't love all of the characters, though I did feel they had a lot to them, and my dislike of them was because of their characterisation, not because I felt they were particularly flat or anything.
Some of the situations were a bit hard to believe (but hey, we are talking about a novel with flying lava sharks), and at times I felt the book was maybe too long for what it was, briefly, before I got swept up in another wave of exciting events.
But the really good thing about the length was that after a while you forgot that it was meant to read like the parody of a shitty thing, and got caught up in the disaster the characters were facing.
In the end, I enjoyed the ride, and I was left feeling like these character were real, and like I might bump into them on the street one day.
If the novel had been edited a little better, it might even have been 3.5 to 4 stars.
I can't say for sure that I will be champing at the bit for books two and three, but I'll probably keep my eyes out for them. I'm curious to see what kind of shark related disaster awaits us in the following books, and a part of me would really like to see the return of some of the characters for the next instalments, though another part of me thinks they've had their fill, and deserve a bit of peace.
I'd recommend this book to fans of dodgy sci-fi/horror/action/disaster movies.
This book was provided free of charge by Curiosity Quills Press, via NetGalley, in exchange for an honest review. Issues related to the editing of the text may not be present in the final copy (and I really hope they aren't!)
Want to read
May 30, 2015Dude! Sharks made of lava? I am so there!
December 18, 2015
The premise is odd - sharks made of lava attacking and eating people all over the world. Essentially, sentient lava.
That said, it is a lot of fun and excitement. Nobody understands what is happening or why. Yet they have to accept what seems insane and deal with it in order to survive. Scenes are adventure packed and dramatic. Sacrifices are made. Land, sea, Air - it takes you all over the world. I really enjoyed it.
That said, it is a lot of fun and excitement. Nobody understands what is happening or why. Yet they have to accept what seems insane and deal with it in order to survive. Scenes are adventure packed and dramatic. Sacrifices are made. Land, sea, Air - it takes you all over the world. I really enjoyed it.
July 23, 2019
So cheesy, but yet so entertaining. I can't wait for the sequel!
Read
July 26, 2016Sort of like WORLD WAR Z, except with lava and giant sharks.
============
I suppose I should explain the above statement. SHARCANO is like WORLD WAR Z in that you see the destruction of the world then multiple points of view. There is Bao, a young boy in Asia. There are newspaper reporters, scientists, priests, and bubbas -- all with their perspectives of the erupting apocalypse.
What's happening? Volcanoes and plague! Volcanoes with lava sharks! The end of Bigfoot!
And I won't say more, because I fear it might ruin the fun.
~
I liked SHARKANO. Then again, I like camp humor and MST3k. And I thought Jose Prendes did a fabulous job with this book. The characters are sympathetic. I found myself caring about them, even in their ridiculousness, and I thought the writing was good.
"Agnes sat in front of her computer, facing her imposing boss. He was slim and reptilian in his movements. His thin-slit eyes and dour face made him impenetrably standoffish and reminiscent of Dr. NO from the first Bond film. Others had brought this up to him, but he hadn't seen the movie and usually shrugged it off, writing that person off as a complete and utter pop-culture fueled moron."
Now, in my experience, most of the attempts at this sort of humorous book fail for one of two reasons. The first is that the books just aren't funny. Or funny enough. They have a cute premise and a few great things to say, but by the end of the book the authors have lost their momentum and there isn't a funny line in sight. Jose Prendes doesn't have this problem. If you like his first jokes and bits of rude humor, you are probably going to like them all the way to the end. He's unwavering. He doesn't falter. His observations are poignant and/or irreverent throughout.
The second problem with this hypothetical collection of pseudo-humorous books is that they do not keep track of their word count. This is a problem that this book has. If it had been 75 pages shorter I would have given it 4, maybe 4.5 STARS. For it's genre, it's a good solid read. As it is, I thought it was too long. So I'm hitting it with a 1 Star penalty for dragging a great idea out f..o..r.. t..o..o.. d..a..m..n..e..d.. l..o..n..g.
Great fun! Worth a read!
( I thought it was a bit too long, but these days I think most books are too long)
--language
--situation
--not for kids
============
I suppose I should explain the above statement. SHARCANO is like WORLD WAR Z in that you see the destruction of the world then multiple points of view. There is Bao, a young boy in Asia. There are newspaper reporters, scientists, priests, and bubbas -- all with their perspectives of the erupting apocalypse.
What's happening? Volcanoes and plague! Volcanoes with lava sharks! The end of Bigfoot!
And I won't say more, because I fear it might ruin the fun.
~
I liked SHARKANO. Then again, I like camp humor and MST3k. And I thought Jose Prendes did a fabulous job with this book. The characters are sympathetic. I found myself caring about them, even in their ridiculousness, and I thought the writing was good.
"Agnes sat in front of her computer, facing her imposing boss. He was slim and reptilian in his movements. His thin-slit eyes and dour face made him impenetrably standoffish and reminiscent of Dr. NO from the first Bond film. Others had brought this up to him, but he hadn't seen the movie and usually shrugged it off, writing that person off as a complete and utter pop-culture fueled moron."
Now, in my experience, most of the attempts at this sort of humorous book fail for one of two reasons. The first is that the books just aren't funny. Or funny enough. They have a cute premise and a few great things to say, but by the end of the book the authors have lost their momentum and there isn't a funny line in sight. Jose Prendes doesn't have this problem. If you like his first jokes and bits of rude humor, you are probably going to like them all the way to the end. He's unwavering. He doesn't falter. His observations are poignant and/or irreverent throughout.
The second problem with this hypothetical collection of pseudo-humorous books is that they do not keep track of their word count. This is a problem that this book has. If it had been 75 pages shorter I would have given it 4, maybe 4.5 STARS. For it's genre, it's a good solid read. As it is, I thought it was too long. So I'm hitting it with a 1 Star penalty for dragging a great idea out f..o..r.. t..o..o.. d..a..m..n..e..d.. l..o..n..g.
Great fun! Worth a read!
( I thought it was a bit too long, but these days I think most books are too long)
--language
--situation
--not for kids
October 22, 2015
OMG! As soon as I saw this cover, I knew I had to have Sharcano by Jose Prendes, so I bought my very own copy. This has been the first book I bought this year.
I read Jose Prendes’ bio and it reads as if it is a short story and great for some laughs.
It all started with the amazing find of an 83′ megalodon beached, mauled and burnt.
I can see it all now. Coming soon to a theater near you…It’s lava sharks!
As soon as Mick Cathcart hears of it, he dumps his daughter at his exes and it’s off on the adventure of a lifetime. He thinks he is God’s gift to women, arrogant and self absorbed.
When Father MacKenzie hung himself in desolation, Father Cox stepped in, determined to change the outcome Father MacKenzie had foreseen.
Reading about Bao and his terrifying and sad, yet uplifting, trial by water was so detailed and realistic, my emotions ran AMOK, highs and lows and back again. He is such a kind hearted and loving child who is put to the test, his losses and sorrow mount. I kept thinking, please Jose, don’t leave him out there alone. His sacrifices deserve a reward.
We have Buck and Trigg, just a couple of good old boys out looking for Sasquatch. They are quite the characters and seem to pop up at just the right time. I can’t help but laugh at them, even though things don’t look so good to me, they don’t seem to understand how up a tree they are.
Volcanoes are popping up from the sea floor, spewing lava worldwide and it is alive.
I can see them, forming in the lava, jumping, flying, determined to find…US!
A plague, the Hell Virus, begins to spread. Humans are facing extinction.
The action is easy to visualize after watching all those Sharnadoes.
Funny, witty, sad, hopeful, uplifting.
The characters don’t all make it to the end, sometimes sacrificing themselves to save others. They grabbed at me, pulling me for and against them. I didn’t always like them, but they all had their contribution to make.
There is a twist that sets it apart from the B movies I love so much…spirituality.
I was hem hawing and telling myself, yeah I know that, then WTF, then, yeah I know that, then WTF.
Jose Prendes did a great job pushing my buttons at the end of Sharcano. I loved this novel and am looking forward to the next one.
I read Jose Prendes’ bio and it reads as if it is a short story and great for some laughs.
It all started with the amazing find of an 83′ megalodon beached, mauled and burnt.
I can see it all now. Coming soon to a theater near you…It’s lava sharks!
As soon as Mick Cathcart hears of it, he dumps his daughter at his exes and it’s off on the adventure of a lifetime. He thinks he is God’s gift to women, arrogant and self absorbed.
When Father MacKenzie hung himself in desolation, Father Cox stepped in, determined to change the outcome Father MacKenzie had foreseen.
Reading about Bao and his terrifying and sad, yet uplifting, trial by water was so detailed and realistic, my emotions ran AMOK, highs and lows and back again. He is such a kind hearted and loving child who is put to the test, his losses and sorrow mount. I kept thinking, please Jose, don’t leave him out there alone. His sacrifices deserve a reward.
We have Buck and Trigg, just a couple of good old boys out looking for Sasquatch. They are quite the characters and seem to pop up at just the right time. I can’t help but laugh at them, even though things don’t look so good to me, they don’t seem to understand how up a tree they are.
Volcanoes are popping up from the sea floor, spewing lava worldwide and it is alive.
I can see them, forming in the lava, jumping, flying, determined to find…US!
A plague, the Hell Virus, begins to spread. Humans are facing extinction.
The action is easy to visualize after watching all those Sharnadoes.
Funny, witty, sad, hopeful, uplifting.
The characters don’t all make it to the end, sometimes sacrificing themselves to save others. They grabbed at me, pulling me for and against them. I didn’t always like them, but they all had their contribution to make.
There is a twist that sets it apart from the B movies I love so much…spirituality.
I was hem hawing and telling myself, yeah I know that, then WTF, then, yeah I know that, then WTF.
Jose Prendes did a great job pushing my buttons at the end of Sharcano. I loved this novel and am looking forward to the next one.
March 9, 2014
After reading SHARCANO (first in a series), I feel as if I've been spun in a whirlpool, whipped through a tornado--and endured the end of the planet. Now THAT's a thriller. Not for the faint of heart nor those offended by profanity and the recalcitrantly politically incorrect--but still, don't miss it!
September 20, 2020
SHARKS
VOLCANIC ACTIVITY
MORE SHARKS AND VOLCANIC ACTIVITY
how this gets addressed would surprise you if you hadn't already thrown your hands up in the air already.
*jazz hands*
VOLCANIC ACTIVITY
MORE SHARKS AND VOLCANIC ACTIVITY
how this gets addressed would surprise you if you hadn't already thrown your hands up in the air already.
*jazz hands*
May 19, 2014
Okay, so everything about this book told me that it should be terrible. I was given a digital copy of this book by NetGalley/Curiosity Quills in exchange for an honest review. Upon reading the blurb about this book, I couldn't help but be curious. It has many of the things I would normally avoid in a book. The weird thing is, though, it was pretty great.
All of the characters are well written and fun to read about. This was unexpected in a book whose main plot device is sentient lava that manifests as deadly, bloodthirsty sharks. There is something magical about this book. It takes you along on a ridiculous journey, but makes you really care about what is happening and the people who are living it. I even got a little emotional in places.
Bottom line? I recommend this book.
All of the characters are well written and fun to read about. This was unexpected in a book whose main plot device is sentient lava that manifests as deadly, bloodthirsty sharks. There is something magical about this book. It takes you along on a ridiculous journey, but makes you really care about what is happening and the people who are living it. I even got a little emotional in places.
Bottom line? I recommend this book.
June 10, 2015
Not sure why I even started this
January 17, 2018
LOL, this is only for apocalypse readers who like a little tongue in cheek humor too. Also, you know, they like apocalypse in any shape or form...like sharks, made of lava.
It starts with chapters from all over the world, from many points of view, but our stars emerge quickly...though little do you know who they may be for a while because lots of people get burned to goo. You know, lava.
Anyway, I enjoyed the characters, they are pretty dang well fleshed. It took me a while, but I did end up caring for them and was kinda bummed to lose a few, but thrilled at the ones who remain.
There are some unanswered questions, so I am looking forward to book two.
Silly but serious at the same time. Very entertaining.
It starts with chapters from all over the world, from many points of view, but our stars emerge quickly...though little do you know who they may be for a while because lots of people get burned to goo. You know, lava.
Anyway, I enjoyed the characters, they are pretty dang well fleshed. It took me a while, but I did end up caring for them and was kinda bummed to lose a few, but thrilled at the ones who remain.
There are some unanswered questions, so I am looking forward to book two.
Silly but serious at the same time. Very entertaining.
March 25, 2014
I received this from NetGalley to review. The premise for this book was ridiculous but in a good way. Lava sharks, earthquakes and evil! This book was a B-movie in my Kindle, the characters were ridiculous, the dialogue was terrible and the plot was crazy. Overall it was entertaining and imaginative but looking at it closely, it really is just like a B-movie, not something that you want to buy. The characters were incredibly flat and boring, I felt no connection to any of them and didn't care if they lived or died. I really didn't like the main character, Mick, I thought he was the biggest jerk and really wanted him to die. The dialogue was pretty bad and a lot of it was a waste of time. I ended up skipping whole paragraphs talking about people who were just going to die or that I didn't care to read about. There were whole "deep" paragraphs that I also skipped since it didn't really fit in with the rest of the book. I had to let go of quite a bit to try to enjoy the book, since there is a lot of science stuff in this book that just doesn't make sense, like lava melting stuff. That is a little ridiculous, lava burns through things yes, but it's not like acid and just eats and eats through whatever it touches. So once I tried to get over that, the book went by much faster. The action scenes were well described and I had no trouble imagining what it looked like. The metaphors and other descriptors for things were also amusing and creative(people talking like constipated poodles, you'll have to see for yourself).
Lastly, the thing that really took away from the book was the poor editing. This book was so full of errors that it was very distracting to read and that is a huge deal for a book that is already published. If this book was still in progress, the errors can be overlooked but this book is already out and still full of errors. Overall I gave this book 2.5-3 stars and unfortunately I will not be reading the rest of the trilogy.
Lastly, the thing that really took away from the book was the poor editing. This book was so full of errors that it was very distracting to read and that is a huge deal for a book that is already published. If this book was still in progress, the errors can be overlooked but this book is already out and still full of errors. Overall I gave this book 2.5-3 stars and unfortunately I will not be reading the rest of the trilogy.
July 31, 2014
Random thoughts prior to review:
Amazingly enough, this novel started off really interesting--though some was a little far-fetched, the idea of the world burning to it's end in relation to the prophecy of end times is plausible, and I was really into the story. There are a ton of characters to follow, so something is always happening, and it was awesome to see how different parts of the world were affected by the rising temperatures in the worlds waters, as well as the eruption and creation of volcanoes across the planet. While filled with death and destruction, I found myself drawn to the story from the get go... that is, until the lava began to form itself into sharks that could jump and fly after people, be they in the land or sky. What?
Okay, I knew from the title there was going to be something implausible in the storyline concerning sharks and volcanoes, but in my mind, I was hoping there could be a decent enough explanation for sharks coming out once volcanoes erupted, but shame on me for not realizing they'd be made of volcanic magma. That never crossed my mind, and so while the intro and first 200ish pages are really intriguing, suddenly I found the entire plot falling to pieces, which is a shame, because this novel is indeed really well written.
Had Prendes left it with the sharks coming on land with the tsunami's that flooded entire cities, well, that would have been plausible in my mind, but lava that can think and chase people... not so much. Sorry.
Amazingly enough, this novel started off really interesting--though some was a little far-fetched, the idea of the world burning to it's end in relation to the prophecy of end times is plausible, and I was really into the story. There are a ton of characters to follow, so something is always happening, and it was awesome to see how different parts of the world were affected by the rising temperatures in the worlds waters, as well as the eruption and creation of volcanoes across the planet. While filled with death and destruction, I found myself drawn to the story from the get go... that is, until the lava began to form itself into sharks that could jump and fly after people, be they in the land or sky. What?
Okay, I knew from the title there was going to be something implausible in the storyline concerning sharks and volcanoes, but in my mind, I was hoping there could be a decent enough explanation for sharks coming out once volcanoes erupted, but shame on me for not realizing they'd be made of volcanic magma. That never crossed my mind, and so while the intro and first 200ish pages are really intriguing, suddenly I found the entire plot falling to pieces, which is a shame, because this novel is indeed really well written.
Had Prendes left it with the sharks coming on land with the tsunami's that flooded entire cities, well, that would have been plausible in my mind, but lava that can think and chase people... not so much. Sorry.
April 1, 2014
This is a hell of an interesting book! Okay, so when I first saw this I knew I had to read it because of the silly sci-fi expectation, but actually this book surprised me and was far better than I would have thought.
Yes, it could be made into a Syfy channel special, but the book was actually much more complex than most of those films are. Right away I liked the characters, especially Mick and his unusual personality. He will either be the character that female readers love or the one they love to hate, either way, he is certainly unforgettable.
I enjoyed all of the action in this book and especially liked that the author included scientific description to back up his story. This was a lot of fun to read. There is never a boring spot in it and it keeps pace all the way to the end.
The characters worked well together and the dialogue was done well. I appreciated the snark some of the characters displayed and the blend of personalities varied the story line and made it more exciting.
I don't tend to read a lot of books in this genre, but this one made me wonder why. Can't remember the last time I had such fun with a novel.
This review is based on a complimentary copy from Netgalley and the publisher. All opinions are my own.
Yes, it could be made into a Syfy channel special, but the book was actually much more complex than most of those films are. Right away I liked the characters, especially Mick and his unusual personality. He will either be the character that female readers love or the one they love to hate, either way, he is certainly unforgettable.
I enjoyed all of the action in this book and especially liked that the author included scientific description to back up his story. This was a lot of fun to read. There is never a boring spot in it and it keeps pace all the way to the end.
The characters worked well together and the dialogue was done well. I appreciated the snark some of the characters displayed and the blend of personalities varied the story line and made it more exciting.
I don't tend to read a lot of books in this genre, but this one made me wonder why. Can't remember the last time I had such fun with a novel.
This review is based on a complimentary copy from Netgalley and the publisher. All opinions are my own.
August 3, 2014
Yeah, I know ..."Sharcano"? WTH? I debated dropping a star for trying to cash in on Shark Week/Sharknado, but decided that I liked the book enough not to penalize it for some asshat marketing scheme.
It's actually a fairly good book in terms of an action tale - it'd make a good SyFy mini-series, though I'm sure they'd screw it up by adding wrestlers or NASCAR or something stupid like that. The characters are cardboard, but the story is fun and makes no sense whatsoever. It's an everything-but-the-kitchen-sink kind of book. But it is surprisingly well-written and definitely entertaining.
It's actually a fairly good book in terms of an action tale - it'd make a good SyFy mini-series, though I'm sure they'd screw it up by adding wrestlers or NASCAR or something stupid like that. The characters are cardboard, but the story is fun and makes no sense whatsoever. It's an everything-but-the-kitchen-sink kind of book. But it is surprisingly well-written and definitely entertaining.
December 13, 2015
An absolutely ridiculous book that is so crazy it's brilliant! After the first few chapters of "what on earth..." And "this is beyond ridiculous" it transformed into "this is so ridiculous I want to keep reading" and finally "this is so ridiculous it's amazing!". Laugh-out-loud funny at times, it also made me (unexpectedly) tear up at times.
In summary, two words. Lava sharks.
In summary, two words. Lava sharks.
October 8, 2020
Sharcano by Jose Prendes is the first book in the Sharkpocalypse Trilogy. I like my science fiction to be farfetched. I figure if I am going to suspend my disbelief, it better be worth it. Sharcano did not disappoint.
“Shark!” Max squealed
“What?”
There is a f*cking shark in that lava!”
I was expecting SyFy Channel's Sharknado meets Snakes on the Plane, but it turned out much better. It was like when I was a kid grabbing paperbacks off the shelf at Lawsons: Cool covers, books I probably shouldn't be reading, and I got to get a paperback copy of the Exorcist without my parents finding out that I was reading that “trash.” Sharcano is better than all that. It is like The Omen meets Jaws. Yes, there are sharks swimming in the lava that is pouring out all over the world. China suffers a tsunami after a sharcano erupts off its coast. Yellowstone turns into a sharcano hot spot. Of course Los Angeles could not be left out either. Lava sharks are on the rampage, and they eat people. As if sharks swimming in the street was not enough, they can jump...really high...like aircraft high.
What happens next throws three groups of people together. Two rednecks from Wyoming searching for Big Foot. A Chinese boy, his grandmother, and a pilot tell the story from China. A priest, who discovers his colleague’s body, a victim of a suicide, joins a marine biologist, a news anchor, and a Chinese-American scientist. There is a whole cast of others in the story too. It’s big like a 1970s disaster movie.
The writing is excellent, far better than a SyFy Channel B-movie. The book will keep your attention. To periodically remind you that you are reading a book of extreme fiction, Prendes hits you with an eruption of similes: The ground opened like a knife cutting hot brownies.
Every once in a while, I am surprised by a book. I was really expecting a heavy dose of camp with Sharcano. The cover has sharks flying out of an erupting volcano at helicopters. I figured I would laugh as much as I did at Adam West's Batman series (Lucky for Batman he had shark repellent in his utility belt). Instead, I was drawn into the story accepting the fiction as I do with a J.G. Ballard novel. Sharcano is a definite break from my usual reading. It also is also a welcome break. I recommend it to anyone looking for a fun break in their reading. I look forward to the next two books in the trilogy.
Yeah, it is a bit like Snakes on the Plane, too ; )
“Shark!” Max squealed
“What?”
There is a f*cking shark in that lava!”
I was expecting SyFy Channel's Sharknado meets Snakes on the Plane, but it turned out much better. It was like when I was a kid grabbing paperbacks off the shelf at Lawsons: Cool covers, books I probably shouldn't be reading, and I got to get a paperback copy of the Exorcist without my parents finding out that I was reading that “trash.” Sharcano is better than all that. It is like The Omen meets Jaws. Yes, there are sharks swimming in the lava that is pouring out all over the world. China suffers a tsunami after a sharcano erupts off its coast. Yellowstone turns into a sharcano hot spot. Of course Los Angeles could not be left out either. Lava sharks are on the rampage, and they eat people. As if sharks swimming in the street was not enough, they can jump...really high...like aircraft high.
What happens next throws three groups of people together. Two rednecks from Wyoming searching for Big Foot. A Chinese boy, his grandmother, and a pilot tell the story from China. A priest, who discovers his colleague’s body, a victim of a suicide, joins a marine biologist, a news anchor, and a Chinese-American scientist. There is a whole cast of others in the story too. It’s big like a 1970s disaster movie.
The writing is excellent, far better than a SyFy Channel B-movie. The book will keep your attention. To periodically remind you that you are reading a book of extreme fiction, Prendes hits you with an eruption of similes: The ground opened like a knife cutting hot brownies.
Every once in a while, I am surprised by a book. I was really expecting a heavy dose of camp with Sharcano. The cover has sharks flying out of an erupting volcano at helicopters. I figured I would laugh as much as I did at Adam West's Batman series (Lucky for Batman he had shark repellent in his utility belt). Instead, I was drawn into the story accepting the fiction as I do with a J.G. Ballard novel. Sharcano is a definite break from my usual reading. It also is also a welcome break. I recommend it to anyone looking for a fun break in their reading. I look forward to the next two books in the trilogy.
Yeah, it is a bit like Snakes on the Plane, too ; )
May 26, 2017
Imagine a Syfy Channel movie with a Hollywood Blockbuster budget and that's what you get with Sharcano. The novel is still slathered with all the cheese you would expect but it also fully embraces its own absurdity with boundless enthusiasm. It's as if author Jose Prendes went into it thinking, "I'm going to write the best damn lava-shark book that's ever been written!" Bigfoot even makes a cameo appearance! Anyone who picks up a book called "Sharcano" isn't going to expect high literature, but they'll want to be entertained and that's what this book delivers.
January 3, 2020
I mean... sharks, volcanoes AND End Times??? How could I not pick this up? LOL! It is about as good as it sounds (if it sounds to you like a really bad B-movie). A cast of ridiculous characters and completely implausible scenarios make for some truly whack-a-doodle storytelling that keeps doubling-down on the crazy. But if you are willing to completely suspend all disbelief (and a certain amount of rational thought), it is a rather fun ride. Not 'good'-- but still entertaining... kinda Dirk Pitt on 'shrooms.
August 8, 2018
I have no memory of buying (or downloading, because I probably got this free) this book, but I found it while cleaning up my Kindle library, and it was Shark Week, so.... I enjoyed this a lot more than I should, and the whole time I kept picturing it as one of those ridiculous shark B movies (which Is another thing I don’t like to admit I enjoy). There’s even an appearance by Big Foot. I’d probably rate it higher if it weren’t for all the endless awful metaphors.
October 29, 2017
Crazy story
Even though it reads like a grade b horror movie it ended being a very funny book and grabbed my attention to the end.
Even though it reads like a grade b horror movie it ended being a very funny book and grabbed my attention to the end.
February 25, 2018
Full review to come!
July 1, 2018
Very funny
It was very entertaining and kept a smile on my face the entire time. A very good and fun read
It was very entertaining and kept a smile on my face the entire time. A very good and fun read
December 13, 2018
If it had all been from the point of view of a lava shark and zero percent from a gross misogynist, I may have lasted more than 15 pages.
June 19, 2023
Not good
If this book hadn't been free,I never would have paid for it. The descriptive sentences had me rolling my eyes on more than one occasion.
If this book hadn't been free,I never would have paid for it. The descriptive sentences had me rolling my eyes on more than one occasion.
June 20, 2025
Finished this coincidentally on the 50th anniversary of JAWS
I enjoyed this.
I wish there was a trilogy
This needs to be a movie
Or a mini-series
I enjoyed this.
I wish there was a trilogy
This needs to be a movie
Or a mini-series
Displaying 1 - 30 of 77 reviews