提灯看刺刀

by Huai Shang, 淮上

楚慈忍不住笑起来：“韩越，我要死了，你应该高兴才是，怎么一脸要哭的样子呢？”

韩越顿了顿，半晌才冷笑反问：“你死了应该有不少人都觉得高兴，怎么可能有人为你流一滴眼泪？”

“……这倒是。”楚慈叹息着点点头，“我也不希望你们为我流一滴眼泪，平白脏了我轮回的路。”



本文非·BE。
本文非·重生。
鬼畜渣攻VS深藏不露外表懦弱实则吃人不吐骨头受

http://www.jjwxc.net/onebook.php?nove...

Genres: Modern

Unknown Binding

About the author

Associated Names:
* Huai Shang (English)
* 淮上 (Chinese)
* หวายซ่าง (Thai)

Reviews

[Shan · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is probably the closest I’ve found to BAB in terms of the emotional distress it made me feel. Huai Shang’s books tend to be pretty mainstream, but I actually prefer her older, lesser-known novels. Back then, she wasn’t afraid to write dark, unhinged stories, something that sets them apart from her later, more commercially accessible works. My friends always call her earlier books “old school danmei,” kind of like how “bodice ripper” is used in straight romance.

Unfortunately, the translation for this was dropped on NU, so I had to read it on AsianNovel, which, surprisingly, had a decent translation. I tried to access it on JJWXC, but the site completely locked out all the chapters. I mean, I’m used to their censorship laws and them restricting explicit content, but they locked the entire book. LOL, I can guess why.

If you enjoyed BAB, I definitely recommend giving this one a shot, along with Huai Shang’s older books. The angst here is sooo juicy. She has a way of writing obsessive characters that reminds me of Meatbun’s, though I wouldn’t say this one is as mind-blowing as some of her other works. Still, if you’re into that vibe, you’ll probably enjoy it. Just be warned—this is a dark, unsettling read.

I’m only giving it 4 stars, though, because I really didn’t like the ending. One of the key plot points is the MC’s terminal illness, he reveals early on that he’s dying of cancer. He also tells the ML that he’s never loved him at all throughout their relationshi, setting a deeply tragic tone for the whole story. But then, at the end, he confesses that it was all a lie?? :/ LOL, what a way to force a happy ending. Honestly, I wouldn’t have minded a bad ending, it would’ve fit the narrative so much better. The whole buildup was heavy, and a tragic or unresolved ending would have left a much stronger impact.

English Name: Lantern: Behold the Bayonet

[noorii · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’ve never experienced a book like this. It’s brutal but not dirty if that makes sense. Yes, I can see every twisted action, but the reason behind it is explained later and understood to some degree. Even when those actions seem without reason, I still understood what emotions and mental shadows led to such horrific events.

This is a 5 star read and a best of 2025 tagged not because it has “perfect main characters” or “fluffy moments,” but because it shook something deep inside me. I kept wondering, and I’m still confused… is this love? What is love? The ML did all of that to the MC, then did all of this for the MC if it’s not love, it’s obsession. But even obsession has types one born from hate, another from love, and maybe a third kind entirely.. because what do I know?

You see my point. This book has me in my head, thoughts ricocheting left and right my head physically hurts, and I’m not sure it’s not because of this book.

Last thought I don’t think humans in real life who do such things deserve any grace, but this is fiction so yes, I can understand it, in this aspect only.

[siro · Rating 4 out of 5]

ok toda la reseña va a ser una re unpopular opinion... a mi me vendieron esta novela como una que sería super sangre de perro, tóxica y que han yue (el gong) era el anticristo, por lo que cuando la empecé genuinamente me estaba durmiendo en vivo. han yue me parecía un personaje que estaba trying too much en ser malvado y no la daba para mi, además de que no estaba pasando absolutamente nada más aparte de eso.

luego empezó la verdadera trama: la venganza de equis personaje, no me meteré en detalles ya que no quiero spoilear tanto jeje. aquí vemos más a detalle el personaje de chu ci (el shou) el que tiene más campos grises que todos los demás personajes. vemos su sufrimiento y el cómo él está muy bien parado y sabe también la situación en la que está metido (eso me gustó bastante). pero aquí es cuando empieza la dinámica que por poco más de la mitad de la novela me dio muchísima risa: han yue siendo un perro faldero arrastrado.

sí, está enfermo de la cabeza y le hizo un buen de cosas horribles a chu ci, pero me parecía demasiado gracioso que después de que me lo hayan vendido como el anticristo (que hasta pensé que superaría al famoso shao qun) en realidad era alguien que aunque estaba loco, en algunas partes se preocupaba genuinamente por chu ci y lo teníamos que ver rogándole y rogándole y así hasta el fin de los tiempos. me la bajó bastante sí, pero también me hizo reír mucho porque era una situación única. chu ci de verdad lo odiaba, golpeaba y se defendía, mientras han yue seguía de perrito faldero rogando y arrastrándose.

es por esta razón que tampoco pude odiar a fondo a han yue, porque a fin de cuentas también toda la situación de los dos era demasiado gris, no podías simplemente decir esto está bien y esto no, han yue tenía cosas graciosas y buenas (aunque sean pocas) que hasta chu ci decía que tampoco podía odiarlo. en cambio con chu ci yo también comprendí sus acciones, él también sabía en lo que se metía y lo que causaría, sabía muy bien quién era y eso lo hacía tan maduro y su situación tan cruda.

la verdad en general toda esta novela es demasiado gris, pero me gustó al final. esperaba bastante menos y hasta creí en los primeros 10 capítulos que la abandonaría, pero me gustó la trama que resultó muy interesante, la relación de los personajes, y hasta en algún punto me cayó bien han yue, me pareció hilarious el concepto que se manejaba de abandonar absolutamente todo por chu ci (yo también lo haría).

la recomiendo si quieren leer algo corto, dramático y moralmente gris. ningún personaje es totalmente correcto ni nada de lo que pasa y capaz eso también fue lo que más me gustó.

[slvr · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.7

huaishang trató a Chu Ci como si él fuera heitao;;;;

[niezrównany ogórek · Rating 3 out of 5]

NARESZCIE SKONCZONE DANGGG to nie powinno miec happy endingu kurwa sory chu chi trzeba bylo umrzec plus wtf han yue itd kurwa lowke nah jesli o mnie chodzi chociaż kriminal watek byl fun itd to cos mi nie siedzi a jak ktos mi kurwa powie ze yan xie jes zly to niech zobaczy na han yue kurwa nie hejtuje han yue ale jeg zachowanie przez polowe ksiazki bylo dosc questionable bruh ale bruh zczail ze salvation is at hand and didnt pull a jing lin! nie wiem ile dac w danmejowym rankingu bo danmeje oceniam inaczej niz zwykle papierki kurwa wujaszkowi dalam 3 to to idk moze tez 3 chyba wiecej nie powinnam

[Yeyu · Rating 5 out of 5]

In short, a caveman's journey to become civilized.

4.7 out of 5, this fic pushed my buttons (0.3 off for the last few chapters, which I thought wasn't handled that well). But damn, 有夠虐了! Even though the main character (the top) is totally a violent, abusive and immature bastard/rapist, I couldn't help but like him > <

Still, morally, aside from the rapist/abusive thing, he's not that bad. He's loyal, he doesn't like how his friends break the law and he's pretty clean from corruption etc, but he has some serious jealousy issues. Emotionally he's like a 5 year old. He wants to see 楚 smile and be good to the dude, but the dude hates him and won't smile (totally understandable considering how he pretty much ruined 楚‘s life), so 韓 just gets super angry and ruins things with threats etc. But still, for his love, he'd do anything, even go see a shrink to deal with his bad temper > < But, thanks to his violent ways, the 楚濨 was always cold and unresponsive no matter what, which made sense and what made it SO much better than all those unreasonable Stockholm Syndrome crap out there. But that's what also makes it so heartrending...I liked the main character > < Torturous, man. This fic was torturous.

TORTUROUS > <

一直看神經病的故事害我也快變成神經病

But yeah. Despite all the WTFeries and all the need to suspend my disbelief, and the rapist thing, this probably makes one of my top tens in terms of how much I enjoyed the fic~ What can I say lol this author knows how to push my buttons

[Ning Xin · Rating 5 out of 5]

楚慈 我心中的白月光

Update - buy the physical copy of the book if you can get your hands on it!! It has extra stories not found in the online version.

[lex ❄ · Rating 4 out of 5]

Unofficial english name: Lantern: Behold the Bayonet. Length: 57 chapters + extras.

"I forgot my own surname the moment I laid my eyes on him."

I'd say that's a good line to summarize this novel and one that will stay with me because of the meaning around the entire story. I knew what type of work I was getting into, but I still didn't know what to expect from it. Thankfully I was pleasantly surprised. I started it because I couldn't resist listening to the recent audio drama adaptation. Despite finishing this with MTL, I thought overall it was a solid novel.

The plot is about Han Yue, a high ranking military official who becomes infatuated with Chu Ci at first sight. Chu Ci is an engineer who happened to cross paths with him, and from the day it happened his life went downhill. It centers around their relationship, how Chu Ci is forced to bear with Han Yue because he literally can't get away from the guy. He knows it very well after 2 years of knowing him, which is how the novel starts. But Chu Ci hides something, and once it's revealed to the reader, everything explodes.

The story mostly follows Han Yue, and while it's written in third person, the author focused a bit more on him. From start to finish, we see how Chu Ci becomes involved with him and all the things he goes through because of Han Yue's obsession with him. It isn't healthy, it is clear abuse, one that Chu Ci cannot escape. I genuinely wish the novel was centered around Chu Ci instead, it would've added the emotional element that this needed because at times it felt flat. The pacing was great, but I would've wanted to see more of the actual beginning, not only in one extra. Seeing the violence progress would have been painful but it would also add angst which is something I crave from this type of stories. I mostly felt desperation, which is great given Chu Ci's circumstances, but it would've been interesting to see more from the victim's perspective. It was still good though, just personal preference.

The themes explored in the novel were well presented. First, there's corruption and privileged families controlling justice. Another is depression to the point of suicide attempt as two of the major effects from (continuous) rape, harrassment and coercion. Finally there are revenge and betrayal. All of these elements are combined in a mature way, not only treated in surface but going all the way, especially regarding Chu Ci's physical and mental health as well as how protective people in power are about their own relatives, going to the extreme of shutting everyone down if that means their reputation and lives aren't disrupted.

The outcome from most of those elements was very satisfying. About the revenge plotline, I was cheering for Chu Ci all along and it was gratifying to see Han Yue's mother and important families lose the power they thought they would always have, if only for this particular case. I felt resentment the most towards the mother and Han Yue's brother, because of the lack of responsability they were willing to take. I also despised Han Yue due to his treatment towards Chu Ci, although I confess at times I almost felt pity (due to his backstory) but then I recalled Chu Ci's condition and I hated him again. But this isn't to say the novel is bad due to having such character as the ML, nor that it's bad because I hate one of the main characters. Instead, it shows an interesting aproach about justice involving everyone that failed Chu C, whom represents the unprivileged ones. Even more so because this novel was written around 2010, but it has some relatively "modern" takes, which weren't as discussed before.

About the ending, although it appears as an open one, the extras lean into a HE (which I haven't read because according to some comments they're available on the printed chinese version only). I don't truly think it's a HE for both sides (it sure is for Han Yue), but I felt glad that Chu Ci finally found peace, what mattered to me is that he didn't have any regrets. I honestly wanted to have him dying because he'd get away from ML at least in death and for ML to face the consequences of his actions, but I'm fine with MC having hope by the end.

Tags: (can miss some, heads up that I don't tag everything)
-POV: third person
-Content warnings: rape, coercion, physical violence, kidnapping, stalking (all of these between MCs), suicide attempt, homophobia, toxic love interest
-Elements: break up, one sided/unrequited infatuation, hurt no comfort/whump, possessive and obsessive ML, revenge, betrayal, corruption
-Kinks: none
-Sexual act(s): barebacking, creampie, blowjobs, fingering, riding, rough/aggressive sex
-Dynamic: strict top and bottom, unbalanced power dynamics, toxic/unhealthy/abusive relationship

[yen nguyen]

recommended to me by: Sophie
now just to find an English translation 🥲

[Selena · Rating 4 out of 5]

dog blood dog blood dog blood dog blood dog blood dog blood dog blood dog blood dog blood dog blood dog blood dog blood dog blood dog blood dog blood dog blood

[tam · Rating 3 out of 5]

Chu Ci no es un santo, pero pasó por mucho 😭😭😭😭 maldito perro de Han Yue, nada me hará quererte