Promises Kept: Raising Black Boys to Succeed in School and in Life

by Joe Brewster, Michele Stephenson, Hilary Beard

An unprecedented guide to helping black boys achieve success at every stage of their lives—at home, at school, and in the world
 
Black boys face a daunting array of challenges—and the surprising fact is that those challenges appear regardless of how wealthy or poor their parents are. All black boys must confront and surmount the “achievement gap”: a divide that shows up in our sons’ test scores, but also in their social and emotional development, their physical well-being, and their outlook on life. As children, our sons score as high on cognitive tests as their peers, but at some point in their young lives, the gap emerges. Why?
 
This is the question Joe Brewster and Michele Stephenson sought to answer when their own son, Idris, began struggling in a new school. As they filmed their son’s experiences for their award-winning documentary American Promise, they also set out to discover the reasons for Idris’s struggles, struggles he shared with black boys everywhere. Their investigation led them to meet an array of researchers who had not only identified the reasons for the gap, but had come up with practical, innovative solutions to close it. In Promises Kept, they explain
 
• How to influence your son’s brain before he’s even born
• How to create a home environment that’s structured, supportive, and stimulating
• How to tell the difference between authoritarian and authoritative discipline—and why it matters
• How to create an educational program for your son that matches his needs
• How to prepare him for explicit and implicit racism in school and in the wider world
• How to help your child develop resilience, self-discipline, emotional intelligence, and a positive outlook that will last a lifetime
 
Filled with innovative research, practical strategies, and the voices of parents and children who are grappling with these issues first-hand, Promises Kept is a groundbreaking, critically important guide for every parent and caregiver of black boys. It will challenge your assumptions, give desperately needed advice, and inspire you to do all that you can to make sure your child isn’t lost in the gap.


From the Hardcover edition.

Genres: Parenting, Education, Nonfiction, Teaching

346 pages, Paperback

First published January 14, 2014

Reviews

[Kathryn · Rating 2 out of 5]

Being a white parent of a black child, I looked forward to reading this. Although there is much that is informative, this book was bogged-down with statistics, which is often overwhelming. It also has almost too much information for one to remember. The overlying message seems to be to stay involved in your son's education, regardless of your socioeconomic status or education level. I fluctuated be tween giving this 2 stars (OK) and 3 stars (I like it) and would actually say this book is 2 and a half stars. It is a well-researched book, just overwhelming in the amount of information, statistics, and research studies that are provided.

I received a digital copy of this book from the publishers through NetGalley, in exchange for my honest review.

[Sarah · Rating 4 out of 5]

The companion book to American Promise, the film that follows two black boys through their private White education in New York City. I read it partly for a consult I did, and I would recommend it - in fact, I recommended that the team read the book in my report. If you have any kind of background, the numbers won't surprise you. But it was really well-organized, very readable, great use of personal voices, and honestly just overall appalling even for people who certainly recognize how active racism is in America.

[Liz · Rating 5 out of 5]

So, I’m not raising any black boys. I have two white boys and a white girl. But I care deeply about being an informed, thoughtful ally and decent human being, not blind to the struggles of others. I also have four biracial nephews, and thought I might recommend this to their parents. I really enjoyed this book. It made me more attuned to challenges in black parenting, and also had some really damn good parenting insight and advice that applies to children of any race (or gender). It really made me think about my own parenting, especially all the talk about the four quadrants of parenting styles: authoritative, authoritarian, permissive, and neglectful. I’ve heard all of those terms before, but this book really added some deeper insight and research and inspired me to aim more for achieving the “demanding authoritative” sub style on a more regular basis. I’d recommend this book to all parents and people who work with kids.

[Morgan · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 stars. This book has a lot of good information and statistics, and everything is backed up with research. I like that it provides concrete steps for parents to combat big issues by starting with the small steps with their own children. I understand that this book is about what individual parents can do, but because it gave overall statistics about Black boys, in some parts I was expecting more about the why behind it, and why society is sometimes hindering parents from taking the steps these parents took. I did learn some things I can do in both my parenting and teaching.

[Julie · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book has such great information for individuals who work with a diverse population of students. I appreciate the humorous approach to a variety of topics. I listened to the audio version which was read beautifully by two different readers. I did disagree with some of the comments regarding teachers. These comments were made by the authors' sources - not the authors. I sincerely appreciate this book.

[Jeannie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Insightful advice for parents and families of Black young men.

[Lace · Rating 3 out of 5]

I received the book for free through Goodreads First Reads. While I think this book is great for any parent, I feel like much of it is common sense... for example, there are facts about how (white) children do better in school grow up in structured households and watch less TV and play less video games. Of course, any children who spend more time with their parents and doing homework or reading are going to do better in school and make better life decisions. I like that this book brought up influences on children. If all kids hear and see are these terrible images of people who do/sell drugs and disrespect women and kill and steal, it's going to be hard for them to not follow the same path. This book shows parents how to be better influences for their kids, and how to give their kids the best shot at having a good life starting from conception.

[Susan · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is a companion to the documentary American Promise which I haven't seen yet. I planned to just skim through it quickly, but found myself reading more for the personal stories the writers shared about their sons and about the sons of people they interviewed. I thought Chapter 5 about parenting styles and Chapter 6 about discipline were especially well written. This book discussed stereotype effect and caused me to question how it plays out in education and in other areas of human behavior. Overall the book is geared to an audience of parents, but has useful information for educators as well.

[Robyn · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoyed the film American Promise. It was incredibly insightful. I could see it helping is many educators in helping the students of color adjust in a predominantly white environment. I had hoped that Promises Kept would be a long those same lines. It felt very much like a parenting book, which is fine. But I honestly kept wondering if some of the parents the book was intended to help would actually read the book. There were some sections that would have been great for educators and I almost feel a separate book might have been good geared directly toward that audience.

[Haven Gordon · Rating 5 out of 5]

I received this book in a giveaway by Goodreads. I loved Joe Brewster's book, Promises Kept: Raising Black Boys to Succeed in School and in Life. It is clear from every page just how much thought Joe has put in his work. I strongly feel this book should be read in order to see more people encouraging children to succeed in life. Through hard work and education walking the road to a life of success is more obtainable.

[Elizabeth · Rating 4 out of 5]

Much of this was more of a parenting book than I anticipated, but a lot of the information was really valuable, especially for anyone working with males of color. I especially enjoyed the chapters about education.

[Crystal · Rating 4 out of 5]

I found this book enlightening. It inspired me to increase my presence at my son's school. I enjoyed the authors' suggestions for closing the achievement gap. I highly recommend this book for parents of African-American boys and parents in general.

[Jes · Rating 5 out of 5]

I think this book is a good reference for the white community to better understand the difficulties faced by our black neighbors. Although the focus is on education, it alludes to many other aspects of life.

[Sonja · Rating 3 out of 5]

Interesting book.

[Ting · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a wonderful book!! Not necessarily a book just for black parents but a book for all parents! Exceptional! A perfect companion to the documentary film, American Promise.

[Charles Ellenbogen · Rating 5 out of 5]

http://bookreviewsbycharles.wordpress...

[Peggy Schuster · Rating 5 out of 5]

Insightful and comprehensive. A must read for all and, in particular, teachers everywhere.

[Maribel · Rating 5 out of 5]

Includes vital info for parents of black sons and other minorities.

[Spider · Rating 4 out of 5]

Many good insights on raising any child to have self esteem.