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The Ransomed Soul Series #1

Reluctant Guardian

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Guarding Brecken Shaefer-a dark and dangerous rebel-is harder than it looks. Death was nothing like sixteen-year-old Alisa Callahan thought it would be. Resting on pink, fluffy clouds for eternity with her gram and best friend sounded like a dream come true. After all, enduring one torturous experience after another in her short life deserved some kind of reward, right? Unfortunately, eternal rewards aren't given out so freely when you take your own life. Required to pay the debt for committing suicide, Alisa must become a guardian. It sounds easy enough, but not when the boy she is forced to protect has a dangerous secret and wants absolutely nothing to do with her. Brecken Shaefer isn't any normal teenager. He has special gifts that are sure to make Alisa's afterlife miserable. When feelings develop between them, everything spins out of control. Not only must Alisa face her own demons- but to protect Brecken, she must face an evil so heinous that it threatens to destroy their souls completely. Alisa is tired of hiding from her past. When the easiest thing to do is run, can Brecken give her the strength to stay?

282 pages, Paperback

First published September 19, 2013

66 people are currently reading
1606 people want to read

About the author

Melissa J. Cunningham

8 books147 followers
Melissa J Cunningham (also known as M.E. Cunningham) comes from a land, far, far away, and ended up on a little farm in northern Utah, living with numerous magical creatures: horses, chickens, dogs, cats, and a goat. Cunningham began writing quite by accident, the fall through the fabric of time dropped M.E. into the mysterious land of Terratir (The Eye of Tanub).

Favorite topics include ghosts, monsters, dragons, and magic. Cunningham also likes TV, going to the movies, and camping in the mountains as long as there are no spiders, mosquitoes, or ticks.

Cunningham’s first book, Reluctant Guardian, was published in August 2013. While always in search of the strange and unexplainable, this author will write each story as it is discovered. Be on the look out!

FIND ME ON FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/melissajcunn...


- See more at: http://www.cleanteenpublishing.com/pa...

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56 (19%)
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24 (8%)
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 67 reviews
Profile Image for Rebecca.
39 reviews1 follower
October 27, 2013
This book couldn't end any other way, but it's the best ending to book that I have ever read. Alisa is a young woman who has a lot of problems. After looking a few loved ones and having a very painful past she decides that she can't live with herself anymore. Believing that death would be a better choice and she will finally have peace she kills herself. She finds out that death isn't all it's cracked up to be and is given a chance at redemption: to become a guardian and save someone from themselves. She doesn't want to in the beginning, but she will do anything to get her redemption.

Brecken is a boy with many gifts. His life is full of pain and misery. He can communicate with guardians and see the evil shadows that have been following him around for years. When he meets Alisa he is taken with her, but refuses to accept her help and wants to do things his own way.

This story was not only gripping but it filled my heart with compassion for these characters. It is the perfect story for young adults. It teaches readers a lesson about life. It teaches readers that our actions affect everyone around us. It was well written, and have an easy to follow plot. The characters are related and well developed throughout the story. This book tugged at my heart from the first page to the ending sentence.
Profile Image for Jon Messenger.
Author 28 books304 followers
October 26, 2013
When I first heard the premise for this book, I wanted to read it. Anytime a book starts with a protagonist committing suicide, you have my attention! I have to admit that this book absolutely lived up to my expectations.

Melissa Cunningham spins a fascinating story following a young woman after her death, as she passes through purgatory on her path toward redemption. Melissa's purgatory and even the seedy version of black, tar-filled hell that she created are phenomenal. It was creepy following the main character into Soul Prison, watching tortured souls trying to move while coated in viscous tar.

As if the story wasn't good enough on its own, the ending was truly incredible. The climax built quickly to a battle you just won't believe until you read it.

This story earned five stars from me for being a great read from cover to cover. Well done, Melissa! I can't wait for more from this author!
Profile Image for Jocelyn Sanchez.
679 reviews56 followers
July 29, 2016
Thank heavens I read this book! I’ve been in such a reading flunk lately and can’t seem to find an interesting enough book that keeps my attention. I’ve been looking for a book that made me excited to read. Something that I would be so engrossed with, that I would stay up late into the early morning to read. This book is exactly what I needed!

Alisa Callahan was a sixteen year old girl. She had a mother, a father, and two brothers who loved her. She had so much in her life but sometimes, life isn’t what it’s all cracked up to be and is too much for some people to handle. And sometimes, giving up seems to be the right choice….at that time. But it’s not.

Killing herself to escape the pain, guilt, and sorrow she was left with after her grandmother and best friend, Natty, died, Alisa finds herself in a magical place she believes to be heaven. But she can’t enter because she killed herself. Not realizing that she took the easy choice, and not the right choice out, she learns there is a chance to redeem herself. A chance to make up for killing herself. A chance to one day be with Natty and her grandmother in heaven.

Her task? Become a guardian for a human boy on earth. Easy enough, right? Wrong. You see, the boy Alisa needs to guard isn’t an ordinary human. He’s special. But it’s those special gifts that can ruin Alisa’s dream of entering heaven. And it’s those exact gifts that will stir up feelings between the two and start something beautiful, yet, complicated.

Brecken Shaefer is Alisa’s charge. He is struggling to support both his little sister’s and himself. His father is never there and rarely helps and his mother is gone. Feeling so alone, he finds no comfort in the guardians that keep getting sent to him. That is, until they send Alisa. Somehow he knows she is different than the previous guardian’s. She’s special somehow. But when secrets about Alisa’s past and death come to the surface, will he be strong enough to accept that part of her life and try to make it work between them? Or is he destined to always feel and be alone?

Something I liked about the story was all the lessons Alisa learned. There was so many, but the one that will always stay with me is forgiveness. Forgiveness is the key to healing. Without it, you can never, ever, truly find peace. You will wander around with that hate, those feelings of hurt, and the only person you will hurt is yourself and the people around you. It’s a lesson I personally struggle with in my life but after reading this book…I’m reconsidering many things in my life. You can say that this book was a wake-up call for me. I love books that I can connect to on a personal level. This book was really relatable and the different topics they touch among were well written and touching. The plot was interesting, very funny at times, and beautifully written. Very unique and unlike other books I have read before. I loved everything about this book and look forward to reading more for the author.

Oh, and the ending to the book seriously made me cry. I’m so hoping that there is going to be a book two because if there’s not, I’m going to be sad. I need to know what’s going to happen next after that ending!

I recommend this book to people who are looking for a book with—humor, adventure, a bit of action, romance, and suspense. It’s an amazingly brilliant book and I think that everyone, both male and female, will like this book!


Some of my favorite quotes:

“I’m not going to say goodbye.”

“Getting lost in a good book sounds like heaven. And if I can’t live in heaven, I’ll live in la la land instead.”

“Maybe hell is a quiet place that slowly drives you insane with the need for sound.”

“Your first and biggest mistake is your taste in girls,” I state, walking behind them, my hands clasped behind my back. It makes me feel very therapist-like.”

“You think I’m se-xy. You want to kii-iiss me,” he sings, the asinine grin still on his face.
Profile Image for Gülay Akbal.
589 reviews19 followers
August 14, 2017
Oldukça sürükleyiciydi kitap. Serinin ilk kitabı olması ama devamının çevirilmemiş olması ise üzücü. Umarım çevirilir de Alisa daha ne badireler atlatacak görürüm.
Profile Image for Kristen.
285 reviews245 followers
March 24, 2014
This book was a crazy roller coaster, and I don't think I was tall enough to ride it. The emotions that this book draws out are intense, and I loved it. Cunningham is skillful at capitalizing on human emotions and weaving them into her book seamlessly. You're left just as invested in the story as the characters.

The world building is so well thought out. You are transported into the afterlife of the main character, and Cunningham presents her version well enough that you're immediately immersed. The background put into the story is stand-out, also. As you near the end and the story begins to unravel at a suiting pace, you realize just how thought out Melissa's writing is.

The premise of this book was completely new to me, and I loved reading this book because of that. Before reading this one, I had been pretty unsatisfied with the books I'd been reading as of late. But Reluctant Guardian easily kept away the reading slump that was trying to creep up on me.

The characters are fresh and new. Instead of being annoyingly flawed or pristine and perfect, they seemed like "normal" people to me. I came to care for and worry about Alisa. She was my favorite, and her thoughts really reached out to me.

Reluctant Guardian deals with some heavy stuff. Suicide, criminal activity, demonic cults; this book has it all. But I think that the way that Cunningham presents the story and unfolds it, this book is broad enough for the teen audience as well as older fans of the YA genre. I'd recommend it in a heartbeat to YA paranormal romance fans.

**I received this book for free in exchange for an honest review. My thanks to Clean Teen Publishing and Melissa J. Cunningham.
Profile Image for Holly.
Author 14 books350 followers
December 8, 2013
I just finished reading this book and I must say, I loved it!!! I was drawn into the story immediately and couldn't put it down until I'd finished it. I've always been curious about what happens after you die, what that would look like. I also wondered about suicide. What happens to someone who takes their own life? Is there no hope for them?

Knowing that this was a story about the afterlife journey of a girl who commits suicide, I was a bit nervous about how it would be portrayed. I hoped it wouldn't show an appealing result. I would hate to have this story help convince an impressionable teen to commit suicide. But it doesn't do that. On the contrary, this author shows all aspects of the results--the tearing apart of the family left behind, the regret of the main character for her act, the restitution she has to pay to get to heaven, and the regret that she will never experience the joys that living a full life can bring. This book paints a vivid picture that was completely believable to me. Not only that, but the characters seemed so real, so human--even the no-so-human ones. Be prepared to cry, laugh, and fall in love with this story. This is a book that I will insist that my own kids read. It is a good lesson on consequences and not giving up. This character has to fight hard for her happy ending.
Profile Image for Laurie.
616 reviews132 followers
February 26, 2015
I loved this book! Alisha dies then wakes up in an unusual purgatory. Wanting nothing more than to join her beloved grandmother and BFF in Heaven she soon discovers that her decision to end her own life has unexpected consequences. Alisha learns some hard lessons as the story progresses and I enjoyed watching her ponder her condition and navigate the events that conspire to help her understand the gravity of her unenviable situation.
The author has constructed an imaginative afterlife populated with a cast of diverse characters in a community that is unlike anything else I have ever read. I found the breezy style of writing charming even as it led me to some thoughtful contemplation of my own concerning life and death.
This book was given to me in exchange for my honest review
Reviewed by Laurie-J
Profile Image for Priscilla Robinson.
Author 2 books21 followers
November 13, 2013
I don't think I have ever read a book that make made me cry so much. I felt so bad for everything that Alisa endured. Her emotions weren't just written somehow they were felt through the words.

The storyline was great. The characters were well developed and this was a sure page turner. The only thing I didn't like was the very last paragraph as it leaves so much questions behind. Great book!
268 reviews3 followers
April 26, 2017
This wasn't my cup of tea, but it still deserves a fair review. The tension was kept high throughout the entire book; definitely a page-turner! The "heaven and hell" representations were very intriguing, thought-provoking, and contain enough elements of truth that it's believable in this story. Themes of forgiveness and gratitude for what one has are poignant. All of these things I loved, and were well-written. This book would definitely give a person second thoughts about committing suicide.
The things that pulled me away from the story were the whiplash emotions. The relationship wasn't believable to me because they would go from fighting one minute to being in love the next. The transitions were tense, but not believable. There were a few scenes that weren't consistent with the beliefs/emotions of the characters (the heroine casting out devils in the name of a god she doesn't believe in, for example).
It's not my cup of tea because the darkness is too real. I'm too empathetic, so reading things that really do happen in the lives of people I know is just too much for me. I like Harry Potter fantasy evil, not the child molesters and devil worshipers. It took me some time to rid myself of the inky blackness before I could sleep without nightmares. If you enjoy that type of thing, it's definitely worth picking up.
Profile Image for Alison (Ali's Books) Flores.
1,657 reviews44 followers
March 27, 2015
3.5 Stars ~

High points ~ There’s a lot of mystery to the story. I enjoyed getting both POVs. It’s unpredictable.

Alisa has a lot of growing up to do. She’s weak, a liar, and has zero respect for authority. She doesn’t recognize a good thing when it’s staring her in the face. She’s very immature. This is typical for some teens, but definitely not all. I didn’t feel like I could relate to her. She made decisions that would totally contradict what I would have done.

Brecken is in a situation that leaves him feeling hopeless. He’s very mature, though. I liked him from the start. However, there is a point in the story where he starts acting immature all of a sudden, and it just didn’t fit his character. Alisa is supposed to be his guardian and help him. The good thing is that she’s not just helping him. He’s helping her! In the process of this, they start falling for each other. I found myself questioning this over and over. He’s alive. She’s dead. I’m sure there could be a context in which I would buy this scenario, but I struggled with it in this story. But, I also had an issue with the fact that Brecken loved Alisa when he seemed so obsessed with his girlfriend Jill. He would say he had feelings for Alisa, but his actions pointed towards Jill.

At one point there’s a switch from third person to first person in the middle of a scene. It threw me off for a minute. But, overall I think the idea of the story is great. I think the execution just needed some tweaking. There is a good message in the end to be learned. But, I would have loved to see Alisa grow more in her maturity.

The ending is interesting. You will find closure in one sense and in another, feel like it’s ending on a cliffhanger. Despite the problems with the book, I’d still read a follow up story to Brecken and Alisa.

Warning: There are some dark parts to the story dealing with satanic rituals and sacrifices.
Profile Image for Pam.
916 reviews44 followers
October 16, 2013
Alisa thought everything would be perfect if she died. She has had a hard time while she was alive so she should get an easy afterlife. That is not what she gets after she commits suicide. She has to be a guardian to a boy named Brecken to get to move on. Brecken isn't a normal boy. He has to take care of his sisters and will do anything for them. He also is different and holds many secrets. Something dark is after him and it is up to Alisa to save him. That may be hard to do when she has to let go of her past and begins to fall for him. Can she save him and move on to a better place or will her own past and the darkness stop her?

This is a little bit of a hard book. Alisa has been through so much that it makes you feel so sorry for her. Even after she dies she has to face the fact her dying has an impact on those she loved. She tries her best to forgive and move on and it shows just how much she grows as a person.Brecken is a great guy even if he does stupid things sometimes. He does them for good reasons. He has a past even he doesn't understand. I really like the guardian aspect of this book and how they all aren't great people. This is your normal book with Angels it's something so much more. This book will reach down inside you and make you feel everything the characters do. If you want something fantastic to read pick this up.

I love the cover and after reading the book one scene stands out that fits the cover perfect.
Profile Image for Savannah Mae.
39 reviews51 followers
January 16, 2014
Reviewed by Rebecca Micco for Say What? Savannah Mae Kids (1/14)

This book, "Reluctant Guardian" by Melissa J. Cunningham couldn't end any other way, but it's the best ending to book that I have ever read. Alisa is a young woman who has a lot of problems. After looking a few loved ones and having a very painful past she decides that she can't live with herself anymore. Believing that death would be a better choice and she will finally have peace she kills herself. She finds out that death isn't all it's cracked up to be and is given a chance at redemption: to become a guardian and save someone from themselves. She doesn't want to in the beginning, but she will do anything to get her redemption.

Brecken is a boy with many gifts. His life is full of pain and misery. He can communicate with guardians and see the evil shadows that have been following him around for years. When he meets Alisa he is taken with her, but refuses to accept her help and wants to do things his own way.

"Reluctant Guardian" by Melissa J. Cunningham was not only gripping but it filled my heart with compassion for these characters. It is the perfect story for young adults. It teaches readers that our actions affect everyone around us. It was well written, and has an easy to follow plot. The characters are relatable and well developed throughout the story. This book tugged at my heart from the first page to the ending sentence.
Profile Image for Sara.
122 reviews6 followers
October 14, 2013
Reluctant Guardian, by Melissa J. Cunningham is the type of book that once I started reading it, I had to keep on going to find out what happens next. There is suspense, humor, and elements of paranormal romance as well throughout the story.

As far as the storyline, the basic premise involves Alisa, a teenager who has had several bad events happen in her life, including the death of her best friend and Grandma. In an attempt at ending the pain and grief she feels over the loss of these two people in her life, she decides to commits suicide. When she arrives in the afterlife, things don't go the way she thought they would, and the illusions she had are quickly shattered. It is at this point that she's given the opportunity to become a guardian to another teenager as part of the debt she needs to repay for taking her own life.

I think what really kept me involved in the story is that Alisa, the main character, is someone who is developed well. Her reactions to certain situations felt real, and I could understand why she did what she did at certain points of the story. I also need to mention Brecken, the teen she is assigned to watch. He's not in the best situation, and found myself empathizing with him, even though some of the choices he makes aren't the best.

Overall, I found this a book that flowed well, and I recommend it to those who enjoy paranormal romance.
Profile Image for Holly.
Author 14 books350 followers
October 7, 2014
I just finished reading this book and I must say, I loved it!!! I was drawn into the story immediately and couldn't put it down until I'd finished it. I've always been curious about what happens after you die, what that would look like. I also wondered about suicide. What happens to someone who takes their own life? Is there no hope for them?

Knowing that this was a story about the afterlife journey of a girl who commits suicide, I was a bit nervous about how it would be portrayed. I hoped it wouldn't show an appealing result. I would hate to have this story help convince an impressionable teen to commit suicide. But it doesn't do that. On the contrary, this author shows all aspects of the results--the tearing apart of the family left behind, the regret of the main character for her act, the restitution she has to pay to get to heaven, and the regret that she will never experience the joys that living a full life can bring. This book paints a vivid picture that was completely believable to me. Not only that, but the characters seemed so real, so human--even the no-so-human ones. Be prepared to cry, laugh, and fall in love with this story. This is a book that I will insist that my own kids read. It is a good lesson on consequences and not giving up. This character has to fight hard for her happy ending.
Profile Image for Brittany | BookRamblings.
292 reviews36 followers
March 2, 2014
*I was given a copy by the author in exchange for an honest review*

This book explores the idea of suicide; what could possibly drive you to such circumstances, how it effects those you leave behind, where you go afterwards and whether you would change anything you did if you got the opportunity. The author created her own version of afterlife that captivated the reader and I loved how she created it with parallels to our world. The idea that this could be happening without us knowing it; that when you shiver for no reason, it is the dead walking through you or when you have an urge to do or not do something it is a guardian speaking into your ear... I loved it!!

Alisa has just committed suicide as she can't handle the world her nan and best friend have left her in. We get to live her past memories with her; some very dark. I especially liked how we got into Brecken's head as well. The relationship between the two leading roles just flows through the pages, at first it was fun to read and as we got on a bit, it did get a bit cheesy at very occasional moments. The just as we think things are folding together again, Melissa hits us with something evil that quite a lot of author seem to like throwing at us... A cliff hanger :) Can't wait to re-enter this world the author has created in book 2 xxx Happy reading everyone
Profile Image for Deborah Bean.
225 reviews5 followers
April 27, 2014
Have you ever read a book that touched you so deep and it hit so close to home that it made it hard to write a review? Well that is what happened when I read Reluctant Guardian by Melissa Cunningham. I had to take a step back and clear my head before I could get near the keyboard. This was an awesome book and even though it is meant for YA, I think people of all ages would enjoy it.
This book really shows how our individual decisions can affect and change all of those around us. Reluctant Guardian was a very apt name for this book. Alisa sure did not want to be a guardian for Brecken. She does find, eventually, that it is not as bad as it seems. Do not be surprised when you find yourself wanting to slap this guardian upside the head…. She is kind of hardheaded. This book covers several important topics. The teen suicide and depression being the ones that most stood out to me. This is one story that you will find difficult to put down. I give it 5 stars*****. When a story is so good that it is difficult to write a review, it deserves all of the stars it can get.
Profile Image for Rebecca.
39 reviews1 follower
December 28, 2013
**I was given this book in exchange for an honest review**

I could not have picked a better book to read. It pulls you in right from the beginning. A young girl doesn't know who she is anymore after the death of her dearest friend and grandmother. She feels alone in the world and doesn't know what else to do. When she commits suicide by crashing her car into a tree, she believes she will find peace and be reunited with her loved ones. She is sorely mistaken. She has to redeem herself. She is put back on earth to protect and guide another lost soul. She is in for a big challenge. I loved this book. I could not put it down and it had to laughing, and crying before it was over. It is a story of finding oneself and loving someone for who they are. It is a must read.
Profile Image for Erica Kiefer.
Author 7 books215 followers
December 2, 2013
In Reluctant Guardian, Melissa Cunningham tackles the challenging and sensitive topic of suicide and what life might be like for spirits on the "other side," as well as what life might be like for loved ones on earth. Her vivid descriptions create poignant scenes that at times made me cry, and at other times, cringe in fear. Her writing allowed me to see the spirit worlds she describes, and I appreciated the thought-provoking insight that I gathered throughout the book. I enjoyed watching the bond form between her two main characters and felt in awe of the unique and tender storyline. I'm looking forward to the sequel of Reluctant Guardian!
Profile Image for Angi.
1,539 reviews12 followers
March 7, 2015
I really liked this one. It started out so very sad and heart wrenching, then it's funny and hopeful. You get to go through so much with Alisa and the way it flows through reality, the spiritual realm and back again is very captivating. Reading about the effects of suicide on a family was tragic, but beautifully written. The full circle aspect in their lives was also nice. Then in the midst of all the tragedy, and heaviness, there is humor, cynicism, special moments. It was not Anyang that I would have expected even after the first chapter, but I really enjoyed it. The end was great and terrible. It definitely satisfied my hunger and I'm interested in the next story.
Profile Image for Andrea.
449 reviews2 followers
November 7, 2013
Reluctant Guardian is the tale of a girl who commits suicide, thinking her problems will be over, only to find her afterlife is rife with more issues than she had even in life. A story where forgiveness and understanding just how important your life is to all those around you are major themes, the romance between Alisa and her charge Brecken still takes center stage. The romance is very clean and well done. This book is violent and deals with some mature themes, so I would recommend it for 16 and up.
Profile Image for Melanie's.
566 reviews29 followers
July 2, 2014
Well this book has been sitting in my TBR pile for a while now and all I can say is WHAT ON EARTH WAS I THINKING???

Incredibly well written and a totally unique take on life, death and what could be beyond. The characters are so real my heart was breaking for them.

Touching on subjects so often shied away from in YA books this author does an incredible job of mixing in the paranormal with real teenage issues.

A well deserved 5 stars from me. Amazing!!! V""V
Profile Image for Linds Morris.
25 reviews1 follower
Read
April 15, 2015
Definitely recommend

First off, if you're reading this book to judge the editing, there are a few minor mistakes. But that's in all books. Don't be a grammar Nazi. Read for the characters.

The characters don't disappoint. They're full off life, love, sadness. The plot carries on well and there are plenty of no way! moments. You'll laugh, cry, get annoyed with the characters, not at them.

I definitely recommend this book. It's amazing!
Profile Image for Lauren Taylor.
Author 16 books456 followers
January 30, 2014
This is a flawlessly written take on the afterlife. It puts forward some original ideas mixed in with the traditional producing a well-rounded book that a lot of people will enjoy. My favourite part was the ending, and I don't mean that I was happy it ended. I mean the ending was brave and not what I expected.
2 reviews
June 22, 2014
When I first started reading Reluctant Guardian I had no idea how the story could end happy where the main character is dead. I was however pleasantly surprised. I loved this book. There were so many twists and turns I had no clue as to where it was going to go or end up. I was so happy with the way it ended. I can't wait for the 2nd book.
Profile Image for Jennifer.
662 reviews35 followers
January 10, 2015
Drawn in from the first page to the last

I had no idea how this book would make me feel for Alisa. I went back and forth with her, feeling for her as she was faced with paths to take and decisions to make.

Ms. Cunningham writes with clarity, realism in terms of teen characters, and great imagery.
Profile Image for Natnat337.
191 reviews3 followers
January 19, 2015
this book was awesome!! i loved alisa and brecken. the characters were well-developed, and the plot was fast-paced - i stayed up way too late reading! and gah! the ending - i need the sequel now!!!
Profile Image for Marie.
190 reviews4 followers
August 5, 2016
Addicting!

This is a clean, nervous making, white knuckling, and fun romance. I also like that it has a great anti-suicide message...plus it is very hopeful. This is a great book for teenagers on up! I am reading the next one in the series!
Profile Image for Candie Campbell.
Author 1 book25 followers
April 2, 2016
I really enjoyed this. A thrilling and fun journey into a realm of the unknown.
Profile Image for Leah Alvord.
Author 2 books44 followers
December 16, 2015
***SPOILERS AND SWEARING BE HERE***

When I first read the prologue, I thought I was going to love this book. For one brief moment, I thought this book was going to show everyone what it felt like to be suicidal. To explore exactly how much you didn't want to feel anything anymore, while at the same time harboring the inability to feel anything at all. That prologue gave me hope … which the rest of the book stole from me.


Summary:

Alisa Callahan is a sixteen-year-old girl who has survived a horrific childhood, only to be left alone. Despite having a family that loves her, nothing can compare to the lives that were already lost. With her grandmother gone and her best friend and fellow victim having died recently, she feels that she has nothing else to live for. The pain caused by her past is as fresh and painful as if it happened yesterday. Left without a comforting voice to guide her, Alisa decides it isn't worth it to live anymore.

She takes her own life.

An action that comes with a price.

The only way to atone for this sin is to help someone in a way that she couldn't help herself. Assigned to Brecken Shaefer as a Guardian, Alisa naively believes that a few days will earn her an after-lifetime of peace and happiness with her grandmother and best friend in a place she cannot go. That is until she actually meets Brecken.

Born with gifts of his own and a life that isn't all that great, Brecken wants nothing to do with another Guardian. Least of all the smart-mouthed, irritating, goody-two-shoes Alisa. He doesn't want anymore lectures or interference on how he does things. The way he sees it, he's taking care of his family and anyone else who thinks differently can bite him.

Yet, despite their initial reactions to one another, the two are drawn together. The relationship that forms causes far more complications than either of them anticipated. There are consequences for every action, and they're about to figure that out the hard way.


Initial Reaction:

This is the kind of book that pisses off everyone who is/has ever been suicidal. The feeling of hopelessness and disgust with yourself and everyone around you completely vanishes after the prologue. This is not a book about a girl who committed suicide. It is a love story about some stupid dead girl and an even stupider 'bad boy with a heart of gold.' I regret ever picking up this book.


Characters:

Alisa is a spoiled, arrogant, ignorant little twat. I would try to tone this down for a review, normally, but I can't. This girl is the very definition of a naive moron.

Let me fill you in on depression a little bit, and thus what Alisa should probably be feeling at some fucking point throughout this story: you hate everything. Yet, you loathe nothing like you loathe yourself. Your lack and failure light up behind your eyes like neon signs and you're forced to see each mistake you've ever made with glaring clarity every single day. You feel hopeless and useless in ways you didn't think a human being was capable of. You look at the world around you and all of the obstacles standing in your way and you realize that you were never capable of changing a damn thing. Your world is the way it is and you are powerless to do anything about it. There is no hope. Nothing to live for. You're stuck between a rock and a hard place and there's nowhere to go. It is the knowledge that your life is meaningless and nothing you do will have an affect on anyone or anything, so why should you bother? At the same time, you want to be useful. You want to prove you're not a waste of space so desperately that you become a nuisance to your family, friends, and anyone else who cares about you. Yet, you can't make yourself get off that computer, or go out and have fun, or even drag yourself out of bed when no other obligation throws you into a panic attack over what must be done. Depression is knowing that you mean nothing, and the world wouldn't care that you're gone.

Do you think, for one solitary second, that Alisa felt this way at all?

If you said no, you would be correct. This girl is naive and stupid in all the worst of ways. When she commits suicide, she has expectations of what death is going to be. She pretty much demands that she be allowed to float around with her grandma and friend in chapter one. When she learns that she can read minds, she is excited. Death, apparently, has resolved all those years of psychological self-mutilation for her.

Yeah, I'm calling bullshit. Especially when the world she arrives in is more conducive to making her depression stronger rather than weaker. I mean, if you're expecting nothing but relief from all of the fucking pain, and you wind up with assignments and classwork, all within the realm of purgatory … yeah that's going to cure you all right.

Also, the reason for her so-called depression: she was molested as a child. A fact that is literally dropped on us in a passing fashion. No build up. No lingering horror to plague the pretty little ghost. Only one tiny hint in the prologue before we're ten chapters in and are hit with that fact like a brick to the face.

Alisa is a jackass to everyone around her, and especially to her charge. Not that he's anything special … oh wait…


Brecken Shaefer is a special snowflake. In the cosmic, angels hath no fury, kind of way. He has gifts that allow him to hear and sometimes see his Guardians. He's also got a healthy dose of 'I have to do everything myself, which is why I don't take my sisters to my aunt's, even though she could take much better care of them than I can' along with 'must steal to survive, even though I feel guilty about it every single time I break into someone's house.' He was such a worthless character to read about. I felt nothing for him, almost as if he were a cut and paste trope. Actually, having read this months ago, I don't even remember him that well… So we'll be moving on now.


Plot & Setting:

Otherwise known as: ridiculous & non-existent.

I know this was trying to make a new spin on the whole 'life after death' scenario, but damn did it fail. Especially where the suicide came in. If you want to read a decent book with a suicide-city type of portrayal, then read Sanctum by Sarah Fine instead. It has a more realistic view of what depression can do to a person, and a grittier version of what suicide gets you in the afterlife.

The plot according to this book was a love story. That's it. Anything else happening around it was just fodder. Everything that occurred within this novel was for the specific contrivance of having Alisa and Brecken fall in love. Again: ridiculous.

The setting here failed at doing anything. There are brief glimpses of a place Alisa isn't allowed to go to, a half-assed description of the place she's stuck in, a better description of the place she could wind up if she fails, and that's about it. I don't even care enough to attempt remembering it.


Writing Style:

All telling, no showing. Immature characters, especially for the themes touched upon. Inability to decently handle the themes brought into the novel. This author is not for me and I will not be reading any further works.


Overall Opinion:

I regret reading this book. As someone intimately familiar with depression, suicidal thoughts, and the knowledge of what sexual abuse can do to a person, I am pissed off with the portrayals of any of these throughout this novel. Everything was handled with such a cavalier attitude and none of it actually affected the characters who were supposedly consumed by it. So no thanks. Fuck this. I'm done.


*Note to Authors*

If you are going to touch on any of these sensitive subjects, do them justice. They are not a plot device or an excuse for why your character acts the way they do. These are real conditions that do have real life damaging results. Talk to anyone you know, and you will find out, because they are far more common than you think. Then ask them what damage these conditions have done.

Now try and write a stupid love story where these are merely plot points.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
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