What do you think?
Rate this book
Things Will Get as Good as You Can Stand: (. . . When you learn that it is better to receive than to give) The Superwoman's Practical Guide to Getting as Much as She Gives
Why do the things you want elude you?
Intimacy. Validation. Romance. Nice things. More time. Most women wish for these every day.
In Things Will Get as Good as You Can Stand, bestselling author Laura Doyle says that all of these things are available to us, but receiving them makes women feel uncomfortable. We turn away praise at work, help with the house, an expression of admiration so that we appear to be in control. The result is a Superwoman we are overworked and exhausted -- and we feel alone.
In Things Will Get as Good as You Can Stand, Doyle provides steps for overcoming the Superwoman Syndrome and explains
Intimacy. Validation. Romance. Nice things. More time. Most women wish for these every day.
In Things Will Get as Good as You Can Stand, bestselling author Laura Doyle says that all of these things are available to us, but receiving them makes women feel uncomfortable. We turn away praise at work, help with the house, an expression of admiration so that we appear to be in control. The result is a Superwoman we are overworked and exhausted -- and we feel alone.
In Things Will Get as Good as You Can Stand, Doyle provides steps for overcoming the Superwoman Syndrome and explains
288 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2004
About the author
Laura Doyle
11 books111 followersLaura Doyle is the author of the book The Surrendered Wife: A Practical Guide to Finding Intimacy, Passion and Peace with a Man (Simon & Schuster 2001), The Surrendered Single: A Practical Guide to Attracting and Marrying the Man Who's Right for You (Simon & Schuster 2002), and Things Will Get as Good as you Can Stand (Simon & Schuster 2004) She leads workshops and seminars that have helped thousands of women find the intimacy they crave.
Doyle's book caught the attention of major media the world over, including Dateline NBC, The Today Show, The View, Montel Williams Show, Politically Incorrect, The New York Times, Marie Claire UK, The London Telegraph and many others. The Los Angeles Times calls Doyle part of a new trend and writes that "members of her group...swear by its effectiveness in relieving marital discord and their inability to cope with the pressures of trying to be superwomen."
In her books, lectures and seminars, Doyle reveals her own experiences from her fifteen-year marriage, as well as practical, simple techniques that women can use to attract and revitalize intimacy immediately.
Prior to writing The Surrendered Wife, Doyle enjoyed a successful career as a marketing copywriter. She is a graduate with honors from San Jose State University's journalism department.
Doyle's book caught the attention of major media the world over, including Dateline NBC, The Today Show, The View, Montel Williams Show, Politically Incorrect, The New York Times, Marie Claire UK, The London Telegraph and many others. The Los Angeles Times calls Doyle part of a new trend and writes that "members of her group...swear by its effectiveness in relieving marital discord and their inability to cope with the pressures of trying to be superwomen."
In her books, lectures and seminars, Doyle reveals her own experiences from her fifteen-year marriage, as well as practical, simple techniques that women can use to attract and revitalize intimacy immediately.
Prior to writing The Surrendered Wife, Doyle enjoyed a successful career as a marketing copywriter. She is a graduate with honors from San Jose State University's journalism department.
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 13 of 13 reviews
August 2, 2024
Precursor to SW and EW
I loved this book and wished I’d read it before reading the SW and the EW. It’s like a preparatory read before immersing yourself in the Skills and makes them easier to understand and then to practice. 😊 Highly recommend!
I loved this book and wished I’d read it before reading the SW and the EW. It’s like a preparatory read before immersing yourself in the Skills and makes them easier to understand and then to practice. 😊 Highly recommend!
December 14, 2019
It was like she walked around inside my head and showed me all the false thoughts that are holding me back.
July 8, 2026
Excellent - I love Laura Doyle! She is a fantastic writer and I love her messages for women. I love to apply her receiving message to our relationship with God, including the fact that God wants to give us all good things.
A few notes:
Good receivers know that they are also giving something when they simply let someone else please them.
If you don't receive graciously, you send the message that you're not worthy, and others will perceive you that way. If you act graciously even when you feel uncomfortable, you send the message that you know you're worthy.
When you feel the temptation to reject a gift, remember that receiving makes the person giving the gift feel good too.
Today, my rule is not to say anything to myself - even silently - that I wouldn't say to a friend.
... you can't be defensive and receptive at the same time.
Get advice from people who have what you want... Be very picky about from whom you take advice.
Being willing to endure the discomfort of the unfamiliar is part of developing a tolerance for better things.
Be still and know that you are not God: Be still. Let other people do things for themselves as much as possible. Consider giving less to others and doing less for them. Make a daily to-do list for the purpose of getting it out of your head. After you write it, look to see if there's anything on it that you can delegate to someone else -- or at least ask for help with. Make lists of who could help you with a given project. Once you've delegated everything you possibly can, go through your list again and ask yourself if everything has to be done today. If not, put it off until tomorrow, or at least make it low priority. You will no longer be the busy superwoman you once were. What a relief. ... Don't do for others things that they're capable of doing for themselves. ... Let me think about it and get back to you. ...I'd rather feel guilty than resentful.
You make yourself a slave to the list... In my experience, serendipity prefers the company of a receptive woman to a woman who is rigidly driven to complete the tasks at hand.
Own your gifts... Your perception of yourself will influence how others see you, and they will reflect that view back to you; that perception will become a reality.
All receiving requires that you have the courage to take at least some risk.
Saying a wish out loud is not only more fun than keeping it a secret, it makes your wish more likely to come true. That's because once other people know your wish, they just might be able to help you make it happen. Adding the weight of your words also makes the desire more real than it was before you breathed it into existence; it shows that you value your desires, which gives them more important than the things you don't say out loud.
You've already been direct, which is the most effective way to communicate.
... So you're certainly not going to feel compassion or support from those around you when you're defensive.
When you're accountable, you purposefully take full responsibility for the consequences of your actions. You do that by saying " I'm sorry for..." [without a 'but' afterwards. In that situation you've re-injured the person and denying the other person their feelings].
"I'm thankful for everything just the way it is." Parable on p204
If you feel that you must accomplish and be productive, perhaps you don't recognize the value of femininity. Feeling that you don't have worth unless you accomplish is like thinking the flowers in the yard ought to do something to earn their keep. Just being a woman is valuable and important.
When you bury your talents, you're blocking yourself from receiving.
A few notes:
Good receivers know that they are also giving something when they simply let someone else please them.
If you don't receive graciously, you send the message that you're not worthy, and others will perceive you that way. If you act graciously even when you feel uncomfortable, you send the message that you know you're worthy.
When you feel the temptation to reject a gift, remember that receiving makes the person giving the gift feel good too.
Today, my rule is not to say anything to myself - even silently - that I wouldn't say to a friend.
... you can't be defensive and receptive at the same time.
Get advice from people who have what you want... Be very picky about from whom you take advice.
Being willing to endure the discomfort of the unfamiliar is part of developing a tolerance for better things.
Be still and know that you are not God: Be still. Let other people do things for themselves as much as possible. Consider giving less to others and doing less for them. Make a daily to-do list for the purpose of getting it out of your head. After you write it, look to see if there's anything on it that you can delegate to someone else -- or at least ask for help with. Make lists of who could help you with a given project. Once you've delegated everything you possibly can, go through your list again and ask yourself if everything has to be done today. If not, put it off until tomorrow, or at least make it low priority. You will no longer be the busy superwoman you once were. What a relief. ... Don't do for others things that they're capable of doing for themselves. ... Let me think about it and get back to you. ...I'd rather feel guilty than resentful.
You make yourself a slave to the list... In my experience, serendipity prefers the company of a receptive woman to a woman who is rigidly driven to complete the tasks at hand.
Own your gifts... Your perception of yourself will influence how others see you, and they will reflect that view back to you; that perception will become a reality.
All receiving requires that you have the courage to take at least some risk.
Saying a wish out loud is not only more fun than keeping it a secret, it makes your wish more likely to come true. That's because once other people know your wish, they just might be able to help you make it happen. Adding the weight of your words also makes the desire more real than it was before you breathed it into existence; it shows that you value your desires, which gives them more important than the things you don't say out loud.
You've already been direct, which is the most effective way to communicate.
... So you're certainly not going to feel compassion or support from those around you when you're defensive.
When you're accountable, you purposefully take full responsibility for the consequences of your actions. You do that by saying " I'm sorry for..." [without a 'but' afterwards. In that situation you've re-injured the person and denying the other person their feelings].
"I'm thankful for everything just the way it is." Parable on p204
If you feel that you must accomplish and be productive, perhaps you don't recognize the value of femininity. Feeling that you don't have worth unless you accomplish is like thinking the flowers in the yard ought to do something to earn their keep. Just being a woman is valuable and important.
When you bury your talents, you're blocking yourself from receiving.
June 25, 2024
For any lady considering leaning on Laura Doyle's books for assistance with their marriage or joining the Laura Doyle Ridiculously Happy Wives Programme or Relationship Coach Training Programme, I encourage you to read my review by following the link below.
It explains my experience during the July 2023 intake Relationship Coach Training Programme, which sadly was not favourable for me, along with subsequent revelations surrounding their back-office administration and inability to handle my client data professionally.
https://relationshipcoachtrainingrevi...
It explains my experience during the July 2023 intake Relationship Coach Training Programme, which sadly was not favourable for me, along with subsequent revelations surrounding their back-office administration and inability to handle my client data professionally.
https://relationshipcoachtrainingrevi...
February 4, 2021
A very clear read about taking care of yourself and being responsible for yourself and your feelings. It's a detailed road map for how to stay in your own lane. I recommend this book to any woman who is angry at others or their man for not being or doing what they want.
September 27, 2025
It’s a good companion to Laura Doyle’s work. I’m not sure I got a ton out of it, but like all her work, it’s not about reading it, it’s about practicing and embodying it. Will update if I later find it life-changing. I like the concept at least.
May 11, 2019
Really makes me feel amazing at the same time improves my relationship between my husband.
April 3, 2024
I read the empowered wife a few years ago and absolutely loved it. I wasn’t sure what to expect from this book but I found it very insightful and an easy read.
August 27, 2024
Laura Doyle’s books and women’s group have been life changing for me. I’m so grateful for her work!
October 2, 2025
Great book
October 1, 2016
This wasn't really what I needed. It was all about receiving. I was hoping for more marriage advice. The last few chapters were for romantic relationships, so that was good.
January 3, 2024
HIGHLIGHTS:
1. ADMIT YOU GOOFED:
- A gracious woman acknowledges her errors.
- Admitting you’re wrong is attractive.
2. DON'T COMPLAIN
- The problem is that clinging to unhappiness tends to result in a mopey face, a whiny voice, and a slumping posture, all of which signal others to stay away. That kind of body language doesn’t encourage anyone to help you or give you something to delight you.
- gratitude shows that you are please-able.
3. APOLOGIES:
- You can delay. Accept an apology if you’re not ready.“I appreciate that. I accept your apology."
- Receive the apology, then, accept or reject an apology. Receiving an apology will make you feel vulnerable.
- By thanking someone for an apology, you acknowledge that one was due.
- Stop saying “That’s OK “or “no problem”.
4. RECEIVING:
- You’re making yourself vulnerable when you’re receiving, which can be a bit scary. You’re taking a risk.
5. REJECTING SEX:
- Rejecting Sex is rejecting the relationship: sex is an opportunity for a man to give you pleasure, turning down, your lover is rejecting a gift.
- Rejecting sex with your husband is one of the worst things you can do for intimacy because in a way you’re rejecting the relationship.
6. MEN LIKE PLEASING A WOMAN:
- Men of all ages and cultures take tremendous pride in pleasing a woman. When she is happy, they feel purposeful and successful.
7. LET HIM PLEASE YOU:
- Since a big part of being feminine is receiving well, and in what manner fundamentally attracted to you is femininity, being a good receiver, makes you more attractive to men.
8. GRATITUDE:
- Gratitude wakes us up to abundance and good fortune.
- No one wants to exert effort, trying to please someone who is wallowing in doom and gloom.
- When in doubt, give thanks.
9. GRACIOUSNESS:
- Graciousness is most important for people to whom you are most close because it helps maintain the feeling of safety that intimacy needs to thrive.
- A good receiver is open to the possibility that something she wouldn’t have picked herself could enhance her life in unexpected ways.
10. CLEAR OUT SPACE:
- A good receiver is constantly clearing out space in her life for the right things to come in by rejecting the old stuff that doesn’t fit.
1. ADMIT YOU GOOFED:
- A gracious woman acknowledges her errors.
- Admitting you’re wrong is attractive.
2. DON'T COMPLAIN
- The problem is that clinging to unhappiness tends to result in a mopey face, a whiny voice, and a slumping posture, all of which signal others to stay away. That kind of body language doesn’t encourage anyone to help you or give you something to delight you.
- gratitude shows that you are please-able.
3. APOLOGIES:
- You can delay. Accept an apology if you’re not ready.“I appreciate that. I accept your apology."
- Receive the apology, then, accept or reject an apology. Receiving an apology will make you feel vulnerable.
- By thanking someone for an apology, you acknowledge that one was due.
- Stop saying “That’s OK “or “no problem”.
4. RECEIVING:
- You’re making yourself vulnerable when you’re receiving, which can be a bit scary. You’re taking a risk.
5. REJECTING SEX:
- Rejecting Sex is rejecting the relationship: sex is an opportunity for a man to give you pleasure, turning down, your lover is rejecting a gift.
- Rejecting sex with your husband is one of the worst things you can do for intimacy because in a way you’re rejecting the relationship.
6. MEN LIKE PLEASING A WOMAN:
- Men of all ages and cultures take tremendous pride in pleasing a woman. When she is happy, they feel purposeful and successful.
7. LET HIM PLEASE YOU:
- Since a big part of being feminine is receiving well, and in what manner fundamentally attracted to you is femininity, being a good receiver, makes you more attractive to men.
8. GRATITUDE:
- Gratitude wakes us up to abundance and good fortune.
- No one wants to exert effort, trying to please someone who is wallowing in doom and gloom.
- When in doubt, give thanks.
9. GRACIOUSNESS:
- Graciousness is most important for people to whom you are most close because it helps maintain the feeling of safety that intimacy needs to thrive.
- A good receiver is open to the possibility that something she wouldn’t have picked herself could enhance her life in unexpected ways.
10. CLEAR OUT SPACE:
- A good receiver is constantly clearing out space in her life for the right things to come in by rejecting the old stuff that doesn’t fit.
December 27, 2013
Useful concepts, but largely repetitive writing. Good to browse and know the key ideas.
Displaying 1 - 13 of 13 reviews