The Surrendered Single: A Practical Guide to Attracting and Marrying the Man Who's Right for You

by Laura Doyle

THIS CONTROVERSIAL APPROACH TO DATING HAS GIVEN THOUSANDS OF SINGLE WOMEN EVERYTHING THEY NEED TO ATTRACT ROMANCE, INTIMACY, AND A MARRIAGE PROPOSAL.

Surrendered Single doesn't have to look for Mr. Right—she attracts him. The principles presented in The Surrendered Single are When you try to control who asks you out and when a man will call, or if you try to corner him into a commitment, you drive him away. When you let him woo you instead, you enjoy the pleasure of being pursued. You feel confident and feminine. Dating becomes fun again. Marriage follows. You stop going it alone.

Practical and compassionate, The Surrendered Single is a step-by-step guide that shows you how

—ASK MEN TO INVITE YOU OUT SO THAT YOU ALWAYS HAVE A DATE
—AVOID THE REMORSE OF "I WISH I HADN'T SAID..."
—BECOME YOUR BEST SELF AND ATTRACT GOOD MEN

Whether you're recovering from a breakup or a divorce, are on the dating scene, or want your romance to deepen, The Surrendered Single will bring you the relationship you desire with a man you love—and who loves you.

Genres: Relationships, Nonfiction, Self Help, Psychology, Christian, Romance

304 pages, Paperback

Published May 9, 2002

About the author

Laura Doyle is the author of the book The Surrendered Wife: A Practical Guide to Finding Intimacy, Passion and Peace with a Man (Simon & Schuster 2001), The Surrendered Single: A Practical Guide to Attracting and Marrying the Man Who's Right for You (Simon & Schuster 2002), and Things Will Get as Good as you Can Stand (Simon & Schuster 2004) She leads workshops and seminars that have helped thousands of women find the intimacy they crave.

Doyle's book caught the attention of major media the world over, including Dateline NBC, The Today Show, The View, Montel Williams Show, Politically Incorrect, The New York Times, Marie Claire UK, The London Telegraph and many others. The Los Angeles Times calls Doyle part of a new trend and writes that "members of her group...swear by its effectiveness in relieving marital discord and their inability to cope with the pressures of trying to be superwomen."

In her books, lectures and seminars, Doyle reveals her own experiences from her fifteen-year marriage, as well as practical, simple techniques that women can use to attract and revitalize intimacy immediately.

Prior to writing The Surrendered Wife, Doyle enjoyed a successful career as a marketing copywriter. She is a graduate with honors from San Jose State University's journalism department.

Reviews

[Cresanna Kahrl · Rating 4 out of 5]

Be forewarned: this book is not written from a Christian worldview, which is why I only gave it 4 stars instead of 5 ... there are a few areas in which I disagree with the moral standards set forth in this book.

However, other than the brief section of the book that encourages couples to live together before marriage, the principles on dating and courtship are very helpful, and generally biblically sound.

In a culture of "women's rights" and "equal opportunity", The Surrendered Single presents a refreshing approach to relationships, encouraging young women to let men take their role as the leaders in relationships and providing practical tips on how to invite and encourage him to lead.

[Jasmyn · Rating 5 out of 5]

I guess it worked! ;) No, honestly--this is a great book about surrendering control of the universe and allowing great men to come into your life. The more feminine and gentle you become, tapping into the true power of womanhood, the more masculine and protective the men in your life become. It's true--and this author puts it in such a practical and beautiful light.

[Danielle Notz · Rating 3 out of 5]

Listen, pick and choose what you like from this book. Throw out the raisins, enjoy the trail mix.

All I know is that I hadn’t dated in years and after taking the advice of being more open and accepting, smiling at everyone, and accepting that you want a relationship I got asked out multiple times within the week of reading it and I was barely trying.

Outdated, yes. A little patriarchal, yes. But when she’s right, she’s right.

[Catherine · Rating 4 out of 5]

I'm kind of embarrassed that I read this. I have to say, she made some really good points throughout. The book is all about surrendering control and also about letting men be men to take the lead in dating (I'm old fashioned and still believe that should be the way). However, it's not about being a passive woman. It's very much the opposite. I can't explain all of the details, but you should read it if you're single. If you're married, I think she has a version for married woman…it also focuses on avoiding trying to control your spouse.

One thing, she's not LDS, so her perspective is a little different when it comes to physical contact and living
together before marriage, which I don't endorse.

[Harlow · Rating 4 out of 5]

A happily married friend suggested I read "The Surrendered Wife."

I discovered "The Surrendered Single. . ." which is perfect for a girl starting to date again. Laura Doyle's writing style makes for a quick read. She discusses the importance of self care, how to receive graciously, etc. The author gives examples and shares her own mistakes and lessons learned from marriage.

I also read "Single: The Art of Being Satisfied, Fulfilled and Independent." I wish I had read both books in my twenties!

[Jill · Rating 4 out of 5]

As a general rule, I loathe self-help books. However, I have to make an exception for this one. It does have cheesy language all over in it - but for the most part, it's a pretty serious compilation of very good advice. I actually felt it was really worth my while (which I did not at all expect) and only rolled my eyes a handful of times as opposed to all the way through the book. There were several pointers in here that I would do well to implement.

[Shelley · Rating 5 out of 5]

I enjoyed the supportive viewpoints and real-life stories presented in this book. It illustrated the ways that you can radiate personal self-esteem even when you feel uncomfortable in the world of dating.

A "good advice" book for the single woman.

[Lori · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a must read for every single woman. I felt like the book was speaking to me all the way through. So many things that Laura talks about as being "Don'ts" that I have done in past relationships! Definitely worth the read!

[lizabeth · Rating 5 out of 5]

i recommend this book for all women single or not!! jen and rachel i'll be mailing this to you soon!! :) XOXO

[Coffee&Books · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read this book probably every 6 months or so. It's one of my staples and I recommend it to a lot of people. It completely changed my outlook on dating and being single.

[sharla · Rating 5 out of 5]

reading this book lead me to "Mr. Right" There is also "the surrendered Wife" which I would like to read also.

[Melissa · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great advice, and given in a way you can really relate to.

[Digitalsulis · Rating 5 out of 5]

If women can read this and figure out how to internalize these ideas and use them society would run much more smoothly.

[Samothy · Rating 4 out of 5]

A really great insight into how your behaviour can be interpreted by men in the early stages of a relationship. I had to bypass a few ideas I don't agree with morally, but all in all, quite useful!

[Kathleen Jennings]

Read for circuitous reasons involving story research & irritating friends.

[Emma Louise · Rating 1 out of 5]

For any lady considering leaning on Laura Doyle's books for assistance with their marriage or joining the Laura Doyle Ridiculously Happy Wives Programme or Relationship Coach Training Programme, I encourage you to read my review by following the link below.

It explains my experience during the July 2023 intake Relationship Coach Training Programme, which sadly was not favourable for me, along with subsequent revelations surrounding their back-office administration and inability to handle my client data professionally.

https://relationshipcoachtrainingrevi...

[A Lwa · Rating 5 out of 5]

Surprisingly simple

Ms Doyle’s advice to become the surrendered single can be summed up in the following control yourself not others and communicate your needs in an honest manipulation free manner.

[Debra Oria]

I have been down sizing books, and in the process pick up some and read them prior to donating. That was the case with this book as I currently am single. It was a quick read and has some good points.

[Haley | Routed Nomad · Rating 5 out of 5]

you found it! the best dating book! Doyle does not hold back! These testmonies of love, marriage, and loss provide so much wisdom in the psychology of relationships and will hopefully save you so much heartbreak! 💓

[Lauren Rust · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book was a mixed bag of great nuggets and also perspectives on dating that differ wildly from scripture. I did enjoy the read both because it made me think and because it helped me to see some things I need to grow in. Caveats needed though.

[Siomara M. · Rating 5 out of 5]

Beautifully written. Brings back any and all hope you could've ever possibly lost.

[Alicia Meyers · Rating 5 out of 5]

A must read for every woman!

[Kanu Promise]

Very great book to read .

[Katherine · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a really great self-help book.

[K. Smith · Rating 3 out of 5]

A friend of mine told me that she was reading it and wanted me to read it too--why not? I love it when people give me books to read. This one was only so-so. As I firmly believe that everyone meets everyone else differently I was not at all looking forward to reading an 'absolute foolproof' step-by-step way of meeting the man of my dreams. Yeah right.
That being said, there were some very interesting things in this book that I think help out in any situation and relationship: family, friends, co-workers. There are always going to be moments in any relationship where everyone needs to just radically surrender and say, "I can't change that person, I can just love them". In that way, this book was excellent.
Finding a good man who will treat me well? Well, let's just say there were parts of this book that made me full-on depressed as it always hinges on the fact that you will be dating good men who want to treat you well; and, so many of the women I care for, well...don't have that even though they are doing everything this book says to do.

[NzingaMarie · Rating 4 out of 5]

I've had this book for a long time and for some reason just never got through it. Now, I think it's more needed and more important so I flew right through it.

This is basically the manual of everything we know we need to do, but forget. The author makes so much sense, it's just not until you look back at your own relationship that you realize you're making the mistakes she's talking about.

I feel a little more confident now knowing I've got something I can go to as a reference when the time comes to use it.

[Cara · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book had some really good ideas and came into my life at a time when I needed to rethink some of the ways I prejudge men. That said: there were things that I didn't agree with. If you're planning to read it, do so with an alert mind.

[Belen · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great Book! I do not agree with all the author advice, but this one really helped me to think outside the box, and understand what's the position of a woman, in the dating world.

I highly recommend it for girls who are dating or single.! It´s a must read.

[Nalene]

Just started reading it... maybe it'll give me some insight. Shelved the book a while ago, haven't gotten back to it. It's not high on the list of books to read, but I'll get to it someday. :)

[Kjistrouble · Rating 2 out of 5]

Made me feel kinda lousy. Some good ideas, but didn't find it even remotely empowering.