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Harry Silver #1
Vyras ir vaikas
Jausminga ir smagi knyga, atsigręžianti į praėjusias šviesias šeimos dienas ir neprarandanti vilties dėl ateities.
Haris Silveris – suaugęs, bet nenusivylęs trisdešimtmetis, susitupėjęs, bet ne paikai viskuo patenkintas, pamokytas, bet ne tiek, kad kiltų noras pulti po traukiniu. Žodžiu, gyvena geriausius metus. Turi gražią žmoną, ketverių metų šviesiaplaukį mėlynakį sūnelį, gerą darbą televizijoje. Bet po vienos nakties Hariui tenka mokytis suprasti, kas iš tikrųjų yra meilė ir gyvenimas.
„Vyras ir vaikas“ – puikiai parašyta knyga, kuri apie žmonių santykius padės sužinoti daugiau nei psichologijos raštai. Išleistas ir šios knygos tęsinys – „Vyras ir žmona“.
Haris Silveris – suaugęs, bet nenusivylęs trisdešimtmetis, susitupėjęs, bet ne paikai viskuo patenkintas, pamokytas, bet ne tiek, kad kiltų noras pulti po traukiniu. Žodžiu, gyvena geriausius metus. Turi gražią žmoną, ketverių metų šviesiaplaukį mėlynakį sūnelį, gerą darbą televizijoje. Bet po vienos nakties Hariui tenka mokytis suprasti, kas iš tikrųjų yra meilė ir gyvenimas.
„Vyras ir vaikas“ – puikiai parašyta knyga, kuri apie žmonių santykius padės sužinoti daugiau nei psichologijos raštai. Išleistas ir šios knygos tęsinys – „Vyras ir žmona“.
366 pages, Hardcover
First published January 1, 1999
292 people are currently reading
3977 people want to read
About the author
Tony Parsons
63 books893 followersThere is more than one author in the Goodreads database with this name.
Tony Parsons (born 6 November 1953) is a British journalist broadcaster and author. He began his career as a music journalist on the NME, writing about punk music. Later, he wrote for The Daily Telegraph, before going on to write his current column for the Daily Mirror. Parsons was for a time a regular guest on the BBC Two arts review programme The Late Show, and still appears infrequently on the successor Newsnight Review; he also briefly hosted a series on Channel 4 called Big Mouth.
He is the author of the multi-million selling novel, Man and Boy (1999). Parsons had written a number of novels including The Kids (1976), Platinum Logic (1981) and Limelight Blues (1983), before he found mainstream success by focussing on the tribulations of thirty-something men. Parsons has since published a series of best-selling novels – One For My Baby (2001), Man and Wife (2003), The Family Way (2004), Stories We Could Tell (2006), My Favourite Wife (2007), Starting Over (2009) and Men From the Boys (2010). His novels typically deal with relationship problems, emotional dramas and the traumas of men and women in our time. He describes his writing as 'Men Lit', as opposed to the rising popularity of 'Chick Lit'.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tony_Par...
Tony Parsons (born 6 November 1953) is a British journalist broadcaster and author. He began his career as a music journalist on the NME, writing about punk music. Later, he wrote for The Daily Telegraph, before going on to write his current column for the Daily Mirror. Parsons was for a time a regular guest on the BBC Two arts review programme The Late Show, and still appears infrequently on the successor Newsnight Review; he also briefly hosted a series on Channel 4 called Big Mouth.
He is the author of the multi-million selling novel, Man and Boy (1999). Parsons had written a number of novels including The Kids (1976), Platinum Logic (1981) and Limelight Blues (1983), before he found mainstream success by focussing on the tribulations of thirty-something men. Parsons has since published a series of best-selling novels – One For My Baby (2001), Man and Wife (2003), The Family Way (2004), Stories We Could Tell (2006), My Favourite Wife (2007), Starting Over (2009) and Men From the Boys (2010). His novels typically deal with relationship problems, emotional dramas and the traumas of men and women in our time. He describes his writing as 'Men Lit', as opposed to the rising popularity of 'Chick Lit'.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tony_Par...
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 869 reviews
March 23, 2023
Gina trennt sich von Harry, denn er ist fremdgegangen. Sie geht daraufhin nach Japan, da sie dort ein gutes Jobangebot bekommen hat. Der kleine gemeinsame Sohn Pat bleibt bei Harry in London. Harry wird arbeitslos und muss nun plötzlich sehen, wie er als alleinerziehender Vater klar kommt.
*Das Buch ist sehr gut geschrieben; es ist leicht zu lesen. Und es ist sehr interessant, diese Situation mal aus der Sicht eines Mannes zu sehen.
*Das Buch ist sehr gut geschrieben; es ist leicht zu lesen. Und es ist sehr interessant, diese Situation mal aus der Sicht eines Mannes zu sehen.
November 23, 2015
*****SPOILERS AHEAD (but maybe they will help You to skip this book, I hope)******
Whole book I was waiting for main character to realize his mistake, that sleeping with another woman besides his wife, EVEN FOR ONE NIGHT, is WRONG. That's the only reason I kept reading. But my waiting didn't pay off. Through whole book I was reading Harry's wining how life is unfair, how everyone is talking to him that he is hopeless romantic (wtf???), how he is the victim that wife left him. He also didn't tell his parents that he cheated on his wife, so they also fell sorry for him. He didn't have a job and didn't come to mind that he could sell his sports car so he could pay off mortgage on house - I feel the only reason for this stupidity is to feel sorry for him after some hooligans tear roof of the car.
In short, after the fact that HE cheated on his wife, that huge and only important matter in the book, isn't emphasized but disregarded, everything else is just b*shit. There's so many idiotic sentences in the book.
I don't know what was the point of the book, really. The world is NOT to blame for you cheating on your wife, the problem is YOU, and everything that comes with it is also your fault.
Whole book I was waiting for main character to realize his mistake, that sleeping with another woman besides his wife, EVEN FOR ONE NIGHT, is WRONG. That's the only reason I kept reading. But my waiting didn't pay off. Through whole book I was reading Harry's wining how life is unfair, how everyone is talking to him that he is hopeless romantic (wtf???), how he is the victim that wife left him. He also didn't tell his parents that he cheated on his wife, so they also fell sorry for him. He didn't have a job and didn't come to mind that he could sell his sports car so he could pay off mortgage on house - I feel the only reason for this stupidity is to feel sorry for him after some hooligans tear roof of the car.
In short, after the fact that HE cheated on his wife, that huge and only important matter in the book, isn't emphasized but disregarded, everything else is just b*shit. There's so many idiotic sentences in the book.
I don't know what was the point of the book, really. The world is NOT to blame for you cheating on your wife, the problem is YOU, and everything that comes with it is also your fault.
September 5, 2017
For the most part pedestrian, relying on stereotypical characters and clichéd narrative – Tony Parson’s mildly diverting novels certainly served a purpose in the late 1990’s / early 2000’s when they first starting coming out – giving permission and opening the door the perhaps previously non-book reading 30/40-something lads/men to read about and indulge in stories of other men and the various life dilemmas faced by the pre-millennial male in modern society, providing characters they could identify with and life choices they could relate to.
Ultimately though, these novels are uninspiring, verging on the lazy. After the success of ‘Man & Boy’ the following novels from Parsons essentially followed and relied on the same narrative template.
Whatever happened to the former ‘enfants terrible’ of the UK music press, who along with Julie Burchill terrorised the staid, conservative and self-indulgent writings of their elder music journalist peers? Well I guess they grew up, like we all do – but maybe along the way some of that fire has certainly been lost, that attention grabbing and exciting music journalism became by comparison, utterly mundane in these generic ‘modern/contemporary’ novels. These novels by Tony Parsons, whilst largely proficient, lack excitement and inspiration – ultimately betraying all that early promise. Unless of course all that ‘kicking against the establishment’ was merely a pose, a pretension symptomatic of the time and perhaps rooted in an underlying and cynical careerist agenda all along – who knows?
Whilst Parson was initially kicking against the establishment back in the late 1970’s, he then quite decidedly became the establishment – an inevitable transition perhaps, but such a ‘revolt into style’ doesn’t necessarily have to equate to such a literary decline. Where Parsons once had so much to say, there now seems so little to be told. Parsons is now reportedly a staunch supporter of the UK Conservative Party and now apparently rails against people having tattoos…need I say more?
There is in the end, nothing particularly bad about these novels – they are proficient and mildly diverting, but they do lack any real excitement, seem bereft of inspiration and are – ultimately disposable.
Ultimately though, these novels are uninspiring, verging on the lazy. After the success of ‘Man & Boy’ the following novels from Parsons essentially followed and relied on the same narrative template.
Whatever happened to the former ‘enfants terrible’ of the UK music press, who along with Julie Burchill terrorised the staid, conservative and self-indulgent writings of their elder music journalist peers? Well I guess they grew up, like we all do – but maybe along the way some of that fire has certainly been lost, that attention grabbing and exciting music journalism became by comparison, utterly mundane in these generic ‘modern/contemporary’ novels. These novels by Tony Parsons, whilst largely proficient, lack excitement and inspiration – ultimately betraying all that early promise. Unless of course all that ‘kicking against the establishment’ was merely a pose, a pretension symptomatic of the time and perhaps rooted in an underlying and cynical careerist agenda all along – who knows?
Whilst Parson was initially kicking against the establishment back in the late 1970’s, he then quite decidedly became the establishment – an inevitable transition perhaps, but such a ‘revolt into style’ doesn’t necessarily have to equate to such a literary decline. Where Parsons once had so much to say, there now seems so little to be told. Parsons is now reportedly a staunch supporter of the UK Conservative Party and now apparently rails against people having tattoos…need I say more?
There is in the end, nothing particularly bad about these novels – they are proficient and mildly diverting, but they do lack any real excitement, seem bereft of inspiration and are – ultimately disposable.
December 26, 2014
Chick lit for boys.
July 5, 2010
Truth. That's what I kept thinking as I was reading this book. It's true and it's raw. It's sad and it's happy. Tony Parsons has a certain way of making the characters so real. I felt I knew Harry Silver. Really knew him, as a friend.
I guess stories like this don't really need to be complicated to really draw readers in. In the first few chapters I was devastated when Gina and Harry break up. I actually felt pain for Harry during his tiny mid-life crisis when he sleeps with another woman. The book puts across the reality that is life. That relationships can't be all romance all the time. The fact that people do fall in and out of love. The pressure that people have in today's society to be happy and romantic all the time. I don't know why people kid themselves into thinking being with someone is an easy task. It's really not, espeically when you're with eachother for life and have a family.
It made me empathise with little Pat, a child of divorce. The majority of my friends and exfriends have had divorced parents but they never really talk about it. What it was like when they intially split up. I'm so very lucky to have parents that have stayed together. The book brings to light the horrendous damage that divorce can bring upon a child and a parent. The quote that really got me;
"You need a license to drive a car. You need a license to own a dog, but anyone can bring a child into the world." It's true. Of course I'm not at liberty to really give my oppinion on parenting and in some cases- love itself. I'm only seventeen.
I've kinda veered off the point of this review. In a nutshell, I totally loved it. The truth of life that nothing is really a happy ending. It's sad, but true and that's what I really like in a book :)
I guess stories like this don't really need to be complicated to really draw readers in. In the first few chapters I was devastated when Gina and Harry break up. I actually felt pain for Harry during his tiny mid-life crisis when he sleeps with another woman. The book puts across the reality that is life. That relationships can't be all romance all the time. The fact that people do fall in and out of love. The pressure that people have in today's society to be happy and romantic all the time. I don't know why people kid themselves into thinking being with someone is an easy task. It's really not, espeically when you're with eachother for life and have a family.
It made me empathise with little Pat, a child of divorce. The majority of my friends and exfriends have had divorced parents but they never really talk about it. What it was like when they intially split up. I'm so very lucky to have parents that have stayed together. The book brings to light the horrendous damage that divorce can bring upon a child and a parent. The quote that really got me;
"You need a license to drive a car. You need a license to own a dog, but anyone can bring a child into the world." It's true. Of course I'm not at liberty to really give my oppinion on parenting and in some cases- love itself. I'm only seventeen.
I've kinda veered off the point of this review. In a nutshell, I totally loved it. The truth of life that nothing is really a happy ending. It's sad, but true and that's what I really like in a book :)
March 27, 2020
Am abandonat-o după 59 de pagini din cauza stilului extrem de plictisitor și a personajului foarte anost, dar cam asta am înțeles eu din cât am citit. Copil și bărbat este primul volum al seriei ce îl urmărește pe Harry, un individ mediocru care își duce traiul la fel de mediocru. Acest lucru ar putea fi considerat trist, însă chiar el și-a ales această viață, un dar care nu este oferit oricui. El și-a dorit căsătoria cu Gina pentru că așa a văzut la părinții săi și a simțit că este datoria lui să ducă mai departe ideea de căsătorie ca instituție sacră, în vreme ce ea a intrat în căsnicia aceasta pentru a căuta ce nu a găsit vreodată în familia ei. Ambele motive mi se par la fel de greșite și nu m-am mirat deloc când am văzut că relația lor doar trecea dintr-o zi în alta, fără intensitate, pasiune sau chiar atracție.
Viața lui se duce de râpă cu puțin timp înainte să împlinească treizeci, atunci când intră într-un soi de criză de vârstă și simte că nimic nu îl mai mulțumește, începând cu vechea lui mașină și încheind cu soția sa. Într-un interval de doar câteva zile, Harry își pierde slujba și este părăsit de soție după ce o înșală, lucru care îl face să fie și mai debusolat decât înainte să comită greșelile care l-au dus în acel punct. Cum poți să o iei de la capăt, când nu ai niciun fel de punct de pornire și sprijin?
Personal, Harry mi s-a părut un personaj dezagreabil și nu am putut să empatizez cu el, dar cred că tocmai aceasta este ideea: să învățăm din greșelile lui, să vedem cât de mult te poate schimba o viață nefericită și cât de importante sunt efectele unei acțiuni pe care noi o credem măruntă. Deși el este cel care a înșelat, în niciun moment nu pare să regrete sau măcar să accepte că asta a dus la sfârșitul căsniciei lui, ci găsește mereu pretexte și vini în altă parte, considerând că trădarea lui nu ar trebui să conteze din moment ce nu a avut sentimente față de amantă.
Copil și bărbat este un roman despre viața de familie, cu toate momentele ei care ne fac să simțim că suntem unde ar trebui să fim, dar și cu cele care ne îndeamnă să ne analizăm alegerile trecute și să ne întrebăm ,,cum ar fi fost dacă''. Acel ,,dacă'' este micul demon iscoditor care ne manipulează și ne face să comitem greșeli care vor schimba totul, doar de dragul unui răspuns care nu aduce cu sine nimic îmbunătățit. Uneori, e doar o curiozitate inutilă și crudă pe care o folosim ca scuză pentru alegerile noastre greșite.
Când ceva nu merge cum am vrea în viața noastră, cum ne dăm seama când să luptăm pentru a remedia totul și când să renunțăm? Și cum se face că toți ne dorim aceleași lucruri de la lume și soartă, dar pentru fiecare fericirea are altă definiție?
,,Un copil se poate schimba într-o clipă. Te întorci o clipă cu spatele și, când te uiți la el din nou, vezi că s-a făcut mare, că e altcineva."
,,Am citit undeva că în orice relație cel căruia îi pasă cel mai puțin este cel care deține puterea."
Viața lui se duce de râpă cu puțin timp înainte să împlinească treizeci, atunci când intră într-un soi de criză de vârstă și simte că nimic nu îl mai mulțumește, începând cu vechea lui mașină și încheind cu soția sa. Într-un interval de doar câteva zile, Harry își pierde slujba și este părăsit de soție după ce o înșală, lucru care îl face să fie și mai debusolat decât înainte să comită greșelile care l-au dus în acel punct. Cum poți să o iei de la capăt, când nu ai niciun fel de punct de pornire și sprijin?
Personal, Harry mi s-a părut un personaj dezagreabil și nu am putut să empatizez cu el, dar cred că tocmai aceasta este ideea: să învățăm din greșelile lui, să vedem cât de mult te poate schimba o viață nefericită și cât de importante sunt efectele unei acțiuni pe care noi o credem măruntă. Deși el este cel care a înșelat, în niciun moment nu pare să regrete sau măcar să accepte că asta a dus la sfârșitul căsniciei lui, ci găsește mereu pretexte și vini în altă parte, considerând că trădarea lui nu ar trebui să conteze din moment ce nu a avut sentimente față de amantă.
Copil și bărbat este un roman despre viața de familie, cu toate momentele ei care ne fac să simțim că suntem unde ar trebui să fim, dar și cu cele care ne îndeamnă să ne analizăm alegerile trecute și să ne întrebăm ,,cum ar fi fost dacă''. Acel ,,dacă'' este micul demon iscoditor care ne manipulează și ne face să comitem greșeli care vor schimba totul, doar de dragul unui răspuns care nu aduce cu sine nimic îmbunătățit. Uneori, e doar o curiozitate inutilă și crudă pe care o folosim ca scuză pentru alegerile noastre greșite.
Când ceva nu merge cum am vrea în viața noastră, cum ne dăm seama când să luptăm pentru a remedia totul și când să renunțăm? Și cum se face că toți ne dorim aceleași lucruri de la lume și soartă, dar pentru fiecare fericirea are altă definiție?
,,Un copil se poate schimba într-o clipă. Te întorci o clipă cu spatele și, când te uiți la el din nou, vezi că s-a făcut mare, că e altcineva."
,,Am citit undeva că în orice relație cel căruia îi pasă cel mai puțin este cel care deține puterea."
October 16, 2017
How on earth did this sell a million copies?? Do not read!!
July 19, 2008
This is an engaging, smooth read and I would have rated it higher had I never read/seen "Kramer v. Kramer." I really felt this was borderline plagarism and was very surprised the author could get away with recreating so much of that story, right down to details like carrying the child when he is injured on the playground. I am also surprised that 25 years later this story plays well. When Kramer came out, most men didn't have a clue about real hands-on parenting and a man with custody was unheard of...the "Mr. Mom" stories made great fodder. Today, I'd be hard-pressed to think of a young father who does not fully participate in every aspect of parenting (not housework mind you...we haven't come THAT far!). The protaganist does have some self-discoveries that were not covered in Kramer, but mostly it is the same book.
September 17, 2015
Vừa đọc xong 1 quyển tình cha con dưới góc nhìn của đứa con xong chuyển sang tình cha con dưới góc nhìn của người cha. Bị ảnh hưởng cảm xúc sướt mướt của quyển trước sao đó không biết mà thút thít suốt đoạn đầu, ừ thì chẳng phải lời giới thiệu đã là: "Một cú đánh dữ dội vào cảm xúc của người đọc sao", biện minh chứ nhất định không chịu mình mít ướt, há há.
Ưm cái này thì tư duy rặt phương tây, hài hước, thẳng thắn, lý trí, tỉnh táo. Có nhiều suy nghĩ rất sâu sắc về cuộc đời, về khoảng cách thế hệ, hôn nhân, gia đình, đại loại thế.
Nếu được lựa chọn thì thà ở giá chứ không làm hỏng cuộc đời mình và con mình theo kiểu các nhân vật trong truyện. Hây dà, ai nói single là khổ. Single sướng lắm chớ, hớ hớ.
Hay, happy ending. Các bạn Tây viết thì thường hông muốn kết thúc lơ lửng trớt quớt kiểu mấy bạn Nhật.
Ưm cái này thì tư duy rặt phương tây, hài hước, thẳng thắn, lý trí, tỉnh táo. Có nhiều suy nghĩ rất sâu sắc về cuộc đời, về khoảng cách thế hệ, hôn nhân, gia đình, đại loại thế.
Nếu được lựa chọn thì thà ở giá chứ không làm hỏng cuộc đời mình và con mình theo kiểu các nhân vật trong truyện. Hây dà, ai nói single là khổ. Single sướng lắm chớ, hớ hớ.
Hay, happy ending. Các bạn Tây viết thì thường hông muốn kết thúc lơ lửng trớt quớt kiểu mấy bạn Nhật.
February 12, 2009
I definately preferred "About a Boy"- Nick Hornby has no competition whatsoever from Tony Parsons. Parsons tries to be funny. Fails, of course, but then it's made more pathetic by the fact that he totally pulls the heart strings to their fullest extent at the end. And that doesn't quite work. It was almost boring. Almost as bad as Jack Sheffield! [That's saying something:].
January 27, 2019
Every character was awful and I have no idea what this book was meant to be about.
November 15, 2016
Mene je ova knjiga poprilično dotakla. Iskreno nisam to očekivao, uzevši je više reda radi nego neke preterane zainteresovanosti. I kada sam počinjao sa čitanjem, znajući siže, smatrao sam da su "bolesti" koje iniciraju sled događaja glavnog protagoniste, u mom slučaju uveliko prevaziđene (moja kriza srednjih godina može sada da se premesti deceniju kasnije od njegovih). Druga stvar, nisam opsednut tim svakodnevnim problemima savremenog čoveka, bar ne u tolikoj meri da bih smatrao kako se od toga može napraviti veliko književno delo, a da se ne zađe u domen popularne (lake) psihologije i sl. Međutim, "našao" sam se u njoj na toliko mnogo ravni da me je sve to na kraju baš potreslo.
Izuzetno delo puno topline i istine.
Velika preporuka za sve očeve i sinove.
Izuzetno delo puno topline i istine.
Velika preporuka za sve očeve i sinove.
October 22, 2022
I hated this book, or rather, the protagonist. He cheats on his wife and never once acknowledge what a horrible thing that is. Then the story goes on to show what a self centered, obsessive, jealous, mean asshole he is. Which would've been fine, if the book showed him change or at least point out how awful he is. But no, the book never treats him like that, making me think that the author didn't think he is the piece of shit he is. The story itself is fine, pretty simple 'divorce with a child gotta make it through' kind of stories, even mentions the movie I kept thinking about. The wife makes some understandable choices as a wife, but not as a mother. So is the point of the book to show that people are awful? I didn't get that message because to book never talks about it. I think we were supposed to wish well for this guy and hope he can work things out, especially considering the ending, but how can I? He was an ok dad, but that's where it ends. The book left me angry and a little sick, I don't even think I wanna hand it over to a charity shop in fear that someone else would read it and think the things he did was okay. I'm talking about stalking, guilt tripping, blaming a mom for looking out for her child when all she does is considering the best interest of that kid (not his wife or own kid.) Do not read this!
March 8, 2009
reading "Man and Boy" is like listening to an easy-listening pop song. it is sweet, easy to guess, nothing in particular. it goes well, as usual, and everybody likes it. it is just; i am not really into pop music.
though is beatifully written, i dont find any sense to fill up my soul after reading this book. it is just a too-easy-to-guess and happy ending story, good for the young couples.
i think it will be better if the story of the father and the son (read: man and boy) is brought up more deeply and emotionally.
though is beatifully written, i dont find any sense to fill up my soul after reading this book. it is just a too-easy-to-guess and happy ending story, good for the young couples.
i think it will be better if the story of the father and the son (read: man and boy) is brought up more deeply and emotionally.
April 4, 2020
Overall I thoroughly enjoyed the book and found it very interesting to see a familiar enough story from an almost exclusively male view point. I did, I think because I'm a woman, feel irritated by the main man's somewhat blasé (in my opinion) attitude towards his and other male characters' misdemeanors. Is this, maybe, a true insight in to how worryingly differently men and women see certain things? I think the grandfather, son, grandson relationships were the highlight of the book and I think the way the illness and death were written about was among the best and truest I've ever read.
August 3, 2019
The book kept me going as it was an easy read. Thoughts and feelings of the main character were described in details which made Harry Silver closer to the readers. And, although I would never spend my time with someone as unrealistic and whiny as him, the thing is that there are people who really cannot see the faults in their actions and somehow manage to make themselves victims. This is probably why someone would not like this book, you got to be very understanding with Harry. It was not easy getting close to the last 50 pages to see that he really does not see past his own problems and identity crisis. Furthermore, the biggest dissapointment was the portrayal of Gina's character after she went to Japan. Somehow, her lifelong dreams were presented as selfish and whimsy acts while her love for Pat was diminished to a level of mere custody fight.
To conclude, I gave this book 4 stars because I read it through Harry's eyes and feelings. Not the feelings I would have after cheating on my partner but the feelings this hopeless romantic had. Not the feelings I would have everytime I see my father but the feelings this insecure young man had. And I would recommend everyone to do the same, just try to understand him.
To conclude, I gave this book 4 stars because I read it through Harry's eyes and feelings. Not the feelings I would have after cheating on my partner but the feelings this hopeless romantic had. Not the feelings I would have everytime I see my father but the feelings this insecure young man had. And I would recommend everyone to do the same, just try to understand him.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
August 7, 2021
Tony Parsons naujas mano atradimas. Skaičiau jo knygą "Šeimos keliu", po kurios žinojau, jog dar norėsiu jo knygų. Ir tikrai nenusivyliau.. Nes ši pasirodė dar geresnė. Kiek daug joje visko telpa.. Atrodo, ramus, gražus santuokinis gyvenimas, sūnelis, geras darbas, na, viskas kaip ir visur.. Tačiau vienas kartas, vienas nutikimas visiškai pakeičia žmonių gyvenimus. Po vienos nakties Hariui tenka mokytis suprasti, kas iš tikrųjų yra meilė ir gyvenimas. Istorija pamoko, kad reikia vertinti tai ką turime, puoselėti šeimos vertybes. Labai gražiai knygoje pateikiamas vyro kaip tėvo, senelio paveikslas. Kiek jausmų, emocijų telpa. Įrodymas, kad gyvenimas yra nenuspėjamas, bet kažką galime ir patys padaryti. Be proto gražus senelio ir anūko ryšys... Netektis, kuri paliečia. Bet reikia gyventi toliau, ieškoti išeičių, nepasiduoti. Skyrybos ir vaikų jausmai, sugriuvę pasauliai.. Tačiau įmanoma tai sutvarkyti dėmesiu, meile, rūpesčiu bei tarpusavio supratimu. O galbūt viskas taip ir turi būti, žmogus turi rasti tikrąją savo vietą gyvenime. Knyga aktuali dabartiniam gyvenimui, duodanti pamąstymų. Tai smagiai ir puikiai parašyta knyga, kuri apie žmonių santykius padės sužinoti daugiau nei psichologijos raštai.
Toliau laukia istorijos tęsinys knygoje "Vyras ir žmona", įdomu, kas laukia ten. Gero laiko su knygomis! 😊
"Mano kartą norėjo tobulo gyvenimo. Kodėl mūsų vaikai turėtų būti kitokie? Mano tėtis anksti sužinojo, kad niekas sausas iš tobulo gyvenimo neilšlipa."
Toliau laukia istorijos tęsinys knygoje "Vyras ir žmona", įdomu, kas laukia ten. Gero laiko su knygomis! 😊
"Mano kartą norėjo tobulo gyvenimo. Kodėl mūsų vaikai turėtų būti kitokie? Mano tėtis anksti sužinojo, kad niekas sausas iš tobulo gyvenimo neilšlipa."
November 11, 2020
I think something that deeply pesters me as a person is parents (generally fathers, which I’m sorry, just seems to be the way of things when you’re not the one popping a kid out of a birth canal) who simply do not want to be a parent nor understand how to be one. It is rudimentary to do the absolute bare minimum for your children- this man seems to avoid that enough that washing his son’s hair is a novel concept.
This book is from the perspective of a man who is egotistical and juvenile, and the worst of it is that this is nonfiction. Nonfiction! To a point where the author could not recall his actual real life son’s real life fall from a bed because of his mildly fictionalised recollections. This kind of book is just a self indulgent sideshow of egoism- and it has such little value. The lawyer at the end also felt like a vitriolic demonstration of what the author *really* felt, and it was a very weird thing to be reading. I can only hope in the future that this specific brand of ‘man only grows up a little bit because he has to do bare minimum for child’ dies out entirely.
This book is from the perspective of a man who is egotistical and juvenile, and the worst of it is that this is nonfiction. Nonfiction! To a point where the author could not recall his actual real life son’s real life fall from a bed because of his mildly fictionalised recollections. This kind of book is just a self indulgent sideshow of egoism- and it has such little value. The lawyer at the end also felt like a vitriolic demonstration of what the author *really* felt, and it was a very weird thing to be reading. I can only hope in the future that this specific brand of ‘man only grows up a little bit because he has to do bare minimum for child’ dies out entirely.
February 20, 2017
Mình biết tới cuốn sách này đầu tiên qua một câu trích dẫn ở fanpage Nhã Nam, sau đó thì trót yêu mất cái bìa nên mua ngay.
Câu chuyện kể về cặp vợ chồng cưới sớm, rồi ly hôn vì một lý do khá củ chuối. Nhưng mình nghĩ đó cũng không hẳn là một câu chuyện buồn khi mà từ đó Harry đã học được cách trở thành một ông bố tốt, một đạo diễn tài, một người con có hiếu và quan trọng nhất là anh đã tìm được một người "có cái miệng vừa khít với anh theo kiểu không một cái miệng nào đã từng, vừa vặn một cách hoàn hảo".
Câu chuyện không có quá nhiều kịch tính, đó là lí do tại sao mình đọc nó lâu đến vậy. Lẽ ra mình sẽ đánh giá thấp hơn, nhưng vì có những điều nho nhỏ trong cuốn sách này làm mình thích và cũng vì nó có một cái kết thật đẹp.
Câu chuyện kể về cặp vợ chồng cưới sớm, rồi ly hôn vì một lý do khá củ chuối. Nhưng mình nghĩ đó cũng không hẳn là một câu chuyện buồn khi mà từ đó Harry đã học được cách trở thành một ông bố tốt, một đạo diễn tài, một người con có hiếu và quan trọng nhất là anh đã tìm được một người "có cái miệng vừa khít với anh theo kiểu không một cái miệng nào đã từng, vừa vặn một cách hoàn hảo".
Câu chuyện không có quá nhiều kịch tính, đó là lí do tại sao mình đọc nó lâu đến vậy. Lẽ ra mình sẽ đánh giá thấp hơn, nhưng vì có những điều nho nhỏ trong cuốn sách này làm mình thích và cũng vì nó có một cái kết thật đẹp.
January 8, 2022
Reading this makes you realise how much has changed in the 20+ years since it’s publication and also, how little has. Men are generally much more involved with childcare than they were but still seem to expect applause for doing it. Similarly, Harry’s lack of self-awareness seems bizarre and he forgives himself pretty quickly for the mess he has created
Finally, the idea of Gina turning up for the wedding of the woman who helped to trigger her marriage breakdown and allowing Pat to be a pageboy…? Reeeaaalllyyy??? Can’t see it, somehow 🙄🙄🥲🙈
Finally, the idea of Gina turning up for the wedding of the woman who helped to trigger her marriage breakdown and allowing Pat to be a pageboy…? Reeeaaalllyyy??? Can’t see it, somehow 🙄🙄🥲🙈
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
July 9, 2017
- Cuốn này khiến mình phải viết review cho nó từng phân đoạn một.
Khi đọc xong rồi mình mới hiểu ra vì sao mình cứ thấy rấm rứt, bức bối trong lúc đọc, đó là vì nó thực tế quá, chân thực đến mức khiến mình không chịu chấp nhận thứ mà nó đề cập đến. Thế nhưng đi đến cuối rồi sẽ nhận ra, con người dù đôi lúc ích kỷ và hời hợt thì khi yêu họ cũng sẽ tìm ra cách để trở nên rộng lượng hơn, dù là rất khó. Và rằng không ai có thể sống mãi trong những bài hát cũ, nhiều mộng mơ, thực tế nhiều khi đáng ghét như một bản rap nhiều câu tục tĩu, hoặc trở nên căm ghét nó hoặc học cách đối diện và mang cho nó một ý nghĩa khác. Tất cả phụ thuộc vào cách nhìn của mỗi người.
- Mình đang ở 3/4 quyển sách -
Hoặc 4/5 gì đó. Chưa có cuốn nào mà mình gặm lâu như cuốn này. Có thể là vì chưa kết hôn nên với mình nó là một món khó nuốt. Có vẻ như suy đoán của mình về sự rạn nứt giữa Gina và Pat hơi quá. Mình hy vọng 2 mẹ con họ ổn. Cyd là một cô gái không tệ nếu không muốn nói là tốt. Duy nhất Harry là mình không ưa được. Nhưng tệ một cái là anh ta có một ông bố và một bà mẹ tuyệt vời. Mình còn không thèm cả cảm nhận câu chữ. Vì nó quá hiện thực.
- Review cho nửa đầu -
Chưa có cuốn sách nào mà mình vừa đọc vừa bực bội như cuốn này. Có lẽ là do quan điểm cá nhân. Mình không chấp nhận được cái cách mà Harry đối diện với cuộc hôn nhân của anh ta sau khi đã tự tay phá vỡ nó. Anh ta không hiểu. Không hiểu được là chính anh ta là người phá vỡ mọi thứ, làm nó bung bét cả ra. Thậm chí anh ta còn không mảy may thấy hối hận về việc ngoại tình. Mà mình cá là hơn 90% đàn ông hiện đại suy nghĩ như vậy. Anh ta còn không thèm nói với bố mẹ anh ta về chuyện mình ngoại tình nên bị vợ bỏ. Họ đơn giản mặc định sự bỏ đi của Gina là hành động thiếu suy nghĩ của cô ấy thôi. Mà Gina cũng làm mình bực không tả nổi. Cô ấy bỏ đi tận Nhật Bản và bỏ lại đứa con trai của mình cho một người cha mà không biết mình làm sai ở đâu. Ý mình muốn nói, làm sao cô ấy có thể bỏ lại đứa con cơ chứ? cái lúc thằng bé ngã suýt rạn xương sọ thì cô ấy ở cái chỗ chết tiệt nào? Và rồi trẻ con thì dễ thay đổi, rồi trong mắt con trai, cô ấy sẽ thành một bà mẹ ích kỷ, rồi những rạn nứt tình cảm, rồi sẽ là cả cuộc đời ph���i hối hận. Mà cô ấy thì xứng đáng với những thứ hơn thế.
Ôi, mình không biết nữa, chỉ là thấy rất bực bội.
Khi đọc xong rồi mình mới hiểu ra vì sao mình cứ thấy rấm rứt, bức bối trong lúc đọc, đó là vì nó thực tế quá, chân thực đến mức khiến mình không chịu chấp nhận thứ mà nó đề cập đến. Thế nhưng đi đến cuối rồi sẽ nhận ra, con người dù đôi lúc ích kỷ và hời hợt thì khi yêu họ cũng sẽ tìm ra cách để trở nên rộng lượng hơn, dù là rất khó. Và rằng không ai có thể sống mãi trong những bài hát cũ, nhiều mộng mơ, thực tế nhiều khi đáng ghét như một bản rap nhiều câu tục tĩu, hoặc trở nên căm ghét nó hoặc học cách đối diện và mang cho nó một ý nghĩa khác. Tất cả phụ thuộc vào cách nhìn của mỗi người.
- Mình đang ở 3/4 quyển sách -
Hoặc 4/5 gì đó. Chưa có cuốn nào mà mình gặm lâu như cuốn này. Có thể là vì chưa kết hôn nên với mình nó là một món khó nuốt. Có vẻ như suy đoán của mình về sự rạn nứt giữa Gina và Pat hơi quá. Mình hy vọng 2 mẹ con họ ổn. Cyd là một cô gái không tệ nếu không muốn nói là tốt. Duy nhất Harry là mình không ưa được. Nhưng tệ một cái là anh ta có một ông bố và một bà mẹ tuyệt vời. Mình còn không thèm cả cảm nhận câu chữ. Vì nó quá hiện thực.
- Review cho nửa đầu -
Chưa có cuốn sách nào mà mình vừa đọc vừa bực bội như cuốn này. Có lẽ là do quan điểm cá nhân. Mình không chấp nhận được cái cách mà Harry đối diện với cuộc hôn nhân của anh ta sau khi đã tự tay phá vỡ nó. Anh ta không hiểu. Không hiểu được là chính anh ta là người phá vỡ mọi thứ, làm nó bung bét cả ra. Thậm chí anh ta còn không mảy may thấy hối hận về việc ngoại tình. Mà mình cá là hơn 90% đàn ông hiện đại suy nghĩ như vậy. Anh ta còn không thèm nói với bố mẹ anh ta về chuyện mình ngoại tình nên bị vợ bỏ. Họ đơn giản mặc định sự bỏ đi của Gina là hành động thiếu suy nghĩ của cô ấy thôi. Mà Gina cũng làm mình bực không tả nổi. Cô ấy bỏ đi tận Nhật Bản và bỏ lại đứa con trai của mình cho một người cha mà không biết mình làm sai ở đâu. Ý mình muốn nói, làm sao cô ấy có thể bỏ lại đứa con cơ chứ? cái lúc thằng bé ngã suýt rạn xương sọ thì cô ấy ở cái chỗ chết tiệt nào? Và rồi trẻ con thì dễ thay đổi, rồi trong mắt con trai, cô ấy sẽ thành một bà mẹ ích kỷ, rồi những rạn nứt tình cảm, rồi sẽ là cả cuộc đời ph���i hối hận. Mà cô ấy thì xứng đáng với những thứ hơn thế.
Ôi, mình không biết nữa, chỉ là thấy rất bực bội.
February 26, 2017
I really wanted to read this book and finally got round to it. I felt it started with a bit of promise but kind of didn't get better.
Meet Harry, happily married with a little boy and a good job. He cheats on his wife and she leaves him and also his contract isn't renewed at work. His wife is very upset as she gave up her dream to go to Tokyo to be with Harry and decides that she's going to go as a result. She leaves their son behind and Harry now has to be a parent to his son, a job that took him 10 minutes a day previously. He does step up to the plate and makes a go of it but still feels like the injured party in the whole situation. This was annoying. I mean, Harry seems like a nice enough guy but apologise to your wife and accept you did wrong. And no, you don't get a medal for being a single father for a short time. Gina annoyed me to an extent too, she just left her son and went to Tokyo, Seriously? Harry's parents were likable though and added a nice tough. I'm glad Harry accepted the challenges in raising his son, but he had little choice anyway. And the book ended the way I thought it would so there is an element of predictability.
One this I didn't like was - they are in England but mum is 'mom' in the book. And they talk about soccer. It would have been good to use the English terms and spellings. My book is a US version but everyone knows that mum and Football are the same as mom and Soccer.
Meet Harry, happily married with a little boy and a good job. He cheats on his wife and she leaves him and also his contract isn't renewed at work. His wife is very upset as she gave up her dream to go to Tokyo to be with Harry and decides that she's going to go as a result. She leaves their son behind and Harry now has to be a parent to his son, a job that took him 10 minutes a day previously. He does step up to the plate and makes a go of it but still feels like the injured party in the whole situation. This was annoying. I mean, Harry seems like a nice enough guy but apologise to your wife and accept you did wrong. And no, you don't get a medal for being a single father for a short time. Gina annoyed me to an extent too, she just left her son and went to Tokyo, Seriously? Harry's parents were likable though and added a nice tough. I'm glad Harry accepted the challenges in raising his son, but he had little choice anyway. And the book ended the way I thought it would so there is an element of predictability.
One this I didn't like was - they are in England but mum is 'mom' in the book. And they talk about soccer. It would have been good to use the English terms and spellings. My book is a US version but everyone knows that mum and Football are the same as mom and Soccer.
December 15, 2014
Only managed to get to about the third chapter and gave up. Just didn't find it very well written and the prose and style of writing just didn't seem to be up to par for a book that supposedly sold many copies. Maybe my reading interests have changed as I've gotten older but it just seemed very loose, weak and at times parts seemed irrelevant and not needed in the story.
July 15, 2016
I HATE HARRY SILVER more than I have ever hated a fictional being including every villain that ever laid a finger on Harry Potter. My first ever one star rating. The four year old acted and spoke like a fourteen year old, every bit of the entire freaking novel could've been guessed from the summary on the back. I hate every cliche character, setting, and event of this.
February 2, 2009
Solid modern writing. Quick read. A bit derivative of Nick Hornby. I didn't always like the main character - he's a bit of a prat sometimes - but I guess that's part of the point, isn't it? If John Cusack isn't cast as Harry in the movie version (which I'm afraid is inevitable), I'll be shocked.
February 26, 2014
Nothing much written bout the life of the father and son. I don't get the title of this book. It should be named 'Man'
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Want to read
January 23, 2016[To be read in paperback, urgent as part of #InfiniteVariety2016.]
July 13, 2024
"Zato što si romantik, Hari", reče Imon. "Zato što veruješ starim pesmama. A stare pesme te ne spremaju za stvaran život. One te čine alergičnim na stvaran život"
Nakon jedne greške, uspešnom tridesetogodišnjaku se život menja iz korena: ostavlja ga žena i odlazi u Japan, a ubrzo dobija i otkaz na poslu. Godinama je bio sjajan producent popularne emisije, a sada ga čeka mnogo važniji izazov: da li će uspeti da bude podjednako dobar "samohrani" otac svom sinu?
Uprkos tome što će ga novonastala situacija uhvatiti nespremnog i uplašenog, podršku će dobiti od svojih roditelja, ali i prijatelja koji će iznenada uploviti u njegov i Patov život. Ovo nije samo knjiga o povezanosti između oca i sina koji će učiti da funkcionišu zajedno, već je i o propasti savremenih brakova gde neko od partnera iz straha zbog godina, ili malo češće iz čiste dosade prosto odluta u čorsokak posle koga više nema povratka. Diskusije između glavnog protagoniste Harija i njegovog oca govore upravo o tom problemu sa kojim se suočavaju mnogi partneri koji nespremni uplovljavaju u brak ili koji ga se posle nekoliko godina prezasite. Partneri će već pronaći način da se "izduvaju" ili zaleče rane i vrate u normalu, ali često zaboravljaju na dete koje su dobili u tom braku i koje će ispaštati zbog njihovog ponašanja. Sukob stare garde i mlade krvi uvek deluje zanimljivo i inspirativno, pa je tako bilo i ovog puta.
Takođe, ako ste ljubitelji serijala "Ratovi zvezda" maksimalno ćete uživati u ovoj knjizi, jer je dečak opsednut tim filmovima, pa se često podvlače važne paralele između njihovog života sa životima likova iz daleke galaksije. Ovo je knjiga zbog koje stavljamo prst na čelo i razmišljamo o postupcima likova. Knjiga koja se čita brzo, dok usput ne preskačemo rečenice, već upijamo ono pročitano i analiziramo dijaloge. Nema sumnje da ću joj se vratiti nekad kako bih se podsetio nekih detalja koji će mi možda jednog dana zatrebati.
Nakon jedne greške, uspešnom tridesetogodišnjaku se život menja iz korena: ostavlja ga žena i odlazi u Japan, a ubrzo dobija i otkaz na poslu. Godinama je bio sjajan producent popularne emisije, a sada ga čeka mnogo važniji izazov: da li će uspeti da bude podjednako dobar "samohrani" otac svom sinu?
Uprkos tome što će ga novonastala situacija uhvatiti nespremnog i uplašenog, podršku će dobiti od svojih roditelja, ali i prijatelja koji će iznenada uploviti u njegov i Patov život. Ovo nije samo knjiga o povezanosti između oca i sina koji će učiti da funkcionišu zajedno, već je i o propasti savremenih brakova gde neko od partnera iz straha zbog godina, ili malo češće iz čiste dosade prosto odluta u čorsokak posle koga više nema povratka. Diskusije između glavnog protagoniste Harija i njegovog oca govore upravo o tom problemu sa kojim se suočavaju mnogi partneri koji nespremni uplovljavaju u brak ili koji ga se posle nekoliko godina prezasite. Partneri će već pronaći način da se "izduvaju" ili zaleče rane i vrate u normalu, ali često zaboravljaju na dete koje su dobili u tom braku i koje će ispaštati zbog njihovog ponašanja. Sukob stare garde i mlade krvi uvek deluje zanimljivo i inspirativno, pa je tako bilo i ovog puta.
Takođe, ako ste ljubitelji serijala "Ratovi zvezda" maksimalno ćete uživati u ovoj knjizi, jer je dečak opsednut tim filmovima, pa se često podvlače važne paralele između njihovog života sa životima likova iz daleke galaksije. Ovo je knjiga zbog koje stavljamo prst na čelo i razmišljamo o postupcima likova. Knjiga koja se čita brzo, dok usput ne preskačemo rečenice, već upijamo ono pročitano i analiziramo dijaloge. Nema sumnje da ću joj se vratiti nekad kako bih se podsetio nekih detalja koji će mi možda jednog dana zatrebati.
September 18, 2022
A book I had been putting off reading for a long time. My wife finally putting it in front of me. It will be a short read for you she said…and it was.
Reading it with my aged parents around and separated by geography from my grandchildren. Plus the death of the Queen omnipresent on tv made this book very poignant for me.
The relationship of Harry Silver with his son and his father is well documented. The book is funny and sad at the same time. I liked the characters and I have to say I feel better for having read it.
Ps I don’t remember the film bearing much relationship to the book. But I enjoyed it as well.
My wife has just pointed out the film I saw was in fact ‘About a Boy’ which explains the non similarity. Yes I am moving into early onset dementia…😬
Reading it with my aged parents around and separated by geography from my grandchildren. Plus the death of the Queen omnipresent on tv made this book very poignant for me.
The relationship of Harry Silver with his son and his father is well documented. The book is funny and sad at the same time. I liked the characters and I have to say I feel better for having read it.
Ps I don’t remember the film bearing much relationship to the book. But I enjoyed it as well.
My wife has just pointed out the film I saw was in fact ‘About a Boy’ which explains the non similarity. Yes I am moving into early onset dementia…😬
September 9, 2016
Man and Boy by Tony Parsons is the story of how a man becomes a father to his son, and a son to a father. The affection Harry feels for his family, all of it, is obvious from the first page. As evident is Harry’s sense of self. He comes to realise that what he feels isn’t always enough, though. Approaching his thirtieth birthday, Harry is lost in between. He is no longer a child, but does not feel properly mature. He is married, but is unsure what that means. He loves his family, but isn’t quite sure why.
But, Harry knows himself, even if ‘himself’ baffles him, and that thread is what makes this story so brilliant: Harry’s utter honesty. He makes mistakes and owns up to them. He feels and is ready to share that fact. He loves unconditionally, which is both uplifting and heartbreaking all at once.
A month before his birthday, full of BIG questions and doubts, Harry makes a mistake. Then, within the course of thirty days, he loses everything he considered important. Over the next six months, he gains it all back, but not necessarily in the same form. Harry learns to be a father, not just a man with a young boy. He begins to understand his own father. He figures out what is important, and who, and he learns what love is.
I thoroughly enjoyed this book. Harry’s voice was so real. At times, his observations were funny, at others, wrenching. I forgave him his mistake. I hated his wife. I cheered Harry’s successes and secretly plotted Gina’s failure. I loved that none of the characters were heroes (except for the possible exception of Harry’s dad). They were all ordinary people and could be wholly uncompromising. Not a one of them changed their mind for the sake of the plot or story; they were all themselves to the end. Even Harry—though he grew. At the end of the book, he was still Harry, still ‘himself’, but a much more content version.
There is a sequel, Man and Wife. I am not sure if I want to continue the story, however, as I was satisfied with who Harry was at the end of this chapter.
But, Harry knows himself, even if ‘himself’ baffles him, and that thread is what makes this story so brilliant: Harry’s utter honesty. He makes mistakes and owns up to them. He feels and is ready to share that fact. He loves unconditionally, which is both uplifting and heartbreaking all at once.
A month before his birthday, full of BIG questions and doubts, Harry makes a mistake. Then, within the course of thirty days, he loses everything he considered important. Over the next six months, he gains it all back, but not necessarily in the same form. Harry learns to be a father, not just a man with a young boy. He begins to understand his own father. He figures out what is important, and who, and he learns what love is.
I thoroughly enjoyed this book. Harry’s voice was so real. At times, his observations were funny, at others, wrenching. I forgave him his mistake. I hated his wife. I cheered Harry’s successes and secretly plotted Gina’s failure. I loved that none of the characters were heroes (except for the possible exception of Harry’s dad). They were all ordinary people and could be wholly uncompromising. Not a one of them changed their mind for the sake of the plot or story; they were all themselves to the end. Even Harry—though he grew. At the end of the book, he was still Harry, still ‘himself’, but a much more content version.
There is a sequel, Man and Wife. I am not sure if I want to continue the story, however, as I was satisfied with who Harry was at the end of this chapter.
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