My Two Uncles

by Judith Vigna

Elly's grandfather has trouble accepting the fact that his son is gay.

Genres: Picture Books, LGBT, Childrens, Family, Queer, Fiction, Cultural

30 pages, Hardcover

First published March 1, 1995

Reviews

[QNPoohBear · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is an older book but still relevant. The wording could be better. We no longer have to couch relationships in terms of "roommates" or "friends" but that's the only thing really dated about the book. Homophobia and divided families are still with us.

The little girl, Elly, adores her Uncle Ned, Daddy's brother. She loves Uncle Ned's friend, Uncle Phil, too. She loves it when Daddy takes her to their apartment. Her grandparents are having a huge anniversary party and Elly and uncles work on a special project for the happy couple. Only Uncle Ned refuses to come because Uncle Phil isn't invited. Grampy doesn't approve of their "friendship."

Daddy has to explain what "gay" means and hits the nail on the head with the reason why some people don't want their kids to read these books "Some people worry that gays will try to change them and make them gay and explains "No one can make another person gay." Thank you Daddy. Elly is worried her uncles will be hurt and doesn't want them hurt. Neither does Daddy.

The ending is not the usual fairy tale which is appreciated and more realistic. It shows a beginning of acceptance.

The illustrations are old-fashioned realistic hand-drawn two-dimensional types. Not bad but not fabulous.

[Stay Fetters · Rating 3 out of 5]

Let me just begin by saying that you can tell this book was wrote in the 90's. Where everyone was afraid to be around same sex couples because they thought they might try to force them into being like them. Ha! Idiots!
A family forced to deal with an ignorant grandpa about his son Ned and his partner Phil.
But I guess to make someone understand and accept you, all you have to do is make one hell of a diorama and all is right with the world.
If only RuPaul made a special appearance....

[Rebeca Sanchez · Rating 4 out of 5]

Readers are introduced to a young girl, Elly, who loves her family very much. Everything seems perfect and happy, the only difference is that she has two uncles. One uncle is her dad's brother while the other is his partner, but there is a major problem when it comes to being accepted in the family. Elly and her uncles have fun making crafts for each other, so they plan to make a surprise for Elly's grandpa. There's just one problem- grandpa doesn't accept his son's partner- so Elly has a hard time understanding why this is so hard for everyone. His partner, Uncle Phil, is tired of not being included as part of the family and Elly feels sad when they both aren't able to come. Elly's dad explains why her uncle can't make it, but their art-related gift makes him change his mind. The story is left open for interpretation but it's a great end for a children's book on a topic like this.

I liked the book's message of accepting gay marriage and the LGBTQ community even before it was officially legalized. On the date the book was published, it can be relatable and relevant to today's world with family being more open to gay marriage and relationships. I was a bit surprised by how "honest" the book stated the issue of the uncles coming to the celebration, and how the rest of the family felt when it came to one member of the family feeling divided in the love of his son and his family. The illustrations on the other hand were very simple and plain, but that's not the fault of the book since it's considered an "old" book. Reflecting back on how society has "improved," this scenario is more accepted by today's world but there are some people who feel mixed on these new.

[Lily · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was so touching! We see the heartache caused by someone not being accepted by family. A young girl named Elly is so loved by her two uncles, and sees no difference in their relationship and any other hetero couple in the family. She witnesses her grandpa’s homophobia when he doesn’t allow her uncle's partner to come to the family party. She helps her grandpa appreciate the couple and remember the value of family. The main message about acceptance of all love is beautiful and important for young kids to hear about. Homophobia is a very real issue that very much exists today and often puts burdens onto families. It is important to be aware of this issue and have hope to spread understanding and acceptance. The illustrations of this novel are very warm and wholesome with the water colors. I do think that this book is a little outdated and that is obvious in the way that the grandfather still refuses to come into his son's home even at the end of the story. It sends a message that homophobia is normalized and we have to accept it. It should not be accepted. I would hope for a more positive ending that was more pleasing on that front.

[Matthew Reyes · Rating 5 out of 5]

Judith Vigna created a story that is so prominent in modern times. The LGBTQ+ community is represented quite well in this story and it puts the audience in the shoes of being a part of a family that has members part of that community. The main character, Elly, helps her grandfather understand and accept her uncle (his son) despite being homosexual. This book is about acceptance and can broaden the mind of a reader of any age. Depending on a person's core beliefs, this story can serve to introduce the LGBTQ+ community to a child, prepubescent teen, and teenager a like. The story's resolution comes in the form of acceptance and as long as the main focal point of a book like this one is about acceptance, it could very well flourish that concept into fresh minds.

[Cynthia · Rating 3 out of 5]

Personally, I believe that the book itself was okay, but I believe that the entire thing was a bit out of wack. It was obvious that this was written in the 90s because back then same sex relationships still weren't as accepted as today. But the fact that family had to work around the fact that the grandpa just straight up didn't want his sons significant other to be there because of some bias and prejudice is irritating. Especially when the grandfather ends up going to his sons house to "make amends" but still in a way refuses to go inside his gay sons house, makes it seem like the grandfather is still refusing to actually accept his son, and it kind of sends a bad message to kids.

[Emilie Liebert · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is great. It tackles how some people don't like to see other people being gay. In this book, Elly has two uncles she loves, who are gay. Uncle Ned helps her make a present for Grampy and Gran. Grampy refuses to let Uncle Ned bring Uncle Phil, so Uncle Ned won't go. Elly is upset, and her dad sits her down and explains it to her. It's direct, which would explain what it actually meant to be gay. The pictures are pretty and realistic. It is kind of wordy and long, but it shouldn't be too much for kindergarten.

[Becca Roy · Rating 5 out of 5]

A super cute story about a kids learning about what it meant to have two gay uncles. The story was a little sad in the fact that the grandpa didn’t accept the uncles being gay and wouldn’t allow his son’s boyfriend to come over. I think it’s important for kids to see the representation and they can relate to it.

[Robin · Rating 3 out of 5]

I would have liked to see the grandpa say he was sorry and accept uncle Phil into the family.

[Megan Piero · Rating 3 out of 5]

This narrative is told from the perspective of a young girl who has two uncles. Uncle Ned is her Daddy’s brother and Uncle Phil is his friend. Her two uncles help her make a diorama for her grandparent’s 50th wedding anniversary. Half way through the story the young girl finds out that her grandparents do not want Uncle Ned or Uncle Phil to come to their party because they do not approve of the fact that their son is gay. The girl’s father then has to explain to the young girl why her two uncles cannot come to the party. When her grandparents open the diorama and see how beautiful it is and how much work was put into it, they realize that they made a mistake by not inviting Ned and Phil. As a teacher, I will use this book to teach students what a diorama is and the many things you can build a diorama for. I will remind the children how the young girl and her uncles made their diorama (ex. “we got a copy of Gran and Grampy’s old wedding picture, made cutouts of the figures, and glued it to the cardboard”. I will then have the children create dioramas about their families as a homework project. After everyone has completed and brought back their dioramas, I will have the children present their dioramas to the class. This will allow both myself, as well as the other students in the class to get to know each other better. The author, Judith Vigna, has dedicated her life to writing children’s book about complex issues. In addition to this book and a child with homosexual uncles, she has also written book to help children learn about coping with cancer, alcoholic parents, death of a family member, and drug use in the family. She does a great job at taking a complex issue and making it easy for children to understand (ex. “sometimes a man loves another man in the way a married couple love each other”). Her illustrations are also captivating and really draw in readers. This book relates to my topic of diverse families because it shows children that while they might not have gay parents, they might have a gay couple in their extended family.

[Erica · Rating 3 out of 5]

This may have been the perfect book for 1995, and it may still be a good enough book if you live in some places in the U.S. Here in Oakland, California, it seems too dated at this point to recommend to young readers.

It bothered me that the grandpa does not go through much of a transformation, leaving the reader unable to trust that he will be able to do it. In the final scene, he has deigned to drive to his son's house, and got out of the car, but will not come into his house. The implication is that he will someday come into his gay son's house, or allow his gay son (and his son's partner) to come into his own house.

In the end, that implication is not enough. A young reader today needs to see that a compassionate older person is capable of moving from hostile suspicion to loving acceptance. A bonus would be if the picture book actually described that entire process - it would serve as one example to draw from if the child ever found him- or herself in a similar position.

In my mind, this is not only about accepting gayness. I see it as being about moving from prejudice to love. Also, it's about children being able to do that before many of the adults in their lives, and therefore being in a position to love & accept (or try to love & accept) both the person who is harboring hostility as well as the object of their hostility. Children seem to do this often! (...divorce, for example.)

How long does Elly have to wait? What models could we give to children who find themselves in this position? The book is already somewhat didactic and purposeful. Why not use the bully pulpit to lay it all out, and show us how it could be done?

Judith Vigna has broken ground on more than one topic, because she has seen where children need a story to provide a model for what their families can't give them yet. I'd love for her to update this book, and give us a more satisfying conclusion.

[Nicole Agadoni · Rating 3 out of 5]

My Two Uncles is told from the perspective of a young girl named Elly. She loves spending time and making crafts with her Uncle Ned and his partner, Phil. When Elly’s Grampy refuses to invite Phil to his fiftieth wedding anniversary party, Elly is confused and deeply saddened. Her Daddy sits her down and explains to her what it means to be gay, as well as her Grampy’s mindset. Progress is made when a diorama that Elly, Uncle Ned, and Uncle Phil created for Gran and Grampy’s anniversary gift was the star of the evening. The story ends with Grampy taking his first step to accepting his son’s partner. As a teacher, I could use this book to introduce dioramas to my students, and maybe even have them create their own. Aside from the project, the book portrays real family struggles that are relatable to children. Judith Vigna wrote and illustrated this book along with multiple others relating to tough situations in children’s lives. Her sensitivity to the subject comes across throughout the story. I appreciated the way she represented same-sex couples in a very real way, struggles and all.

[Rebecca Ashley Teague · Rating 4 out of 5]

This narrative is told from the perspective of a girl named Elly. It’s Elly’s Grandparents 50th anniversary and her Grampy refuses to invite his son, Phil and his “friend” Ned to the party. Elly has trouble understanding why her Grampy won’t invite her two uncles who she loves very much, but her dad lets her know it’s because her Uncle Ned is gay. By the end of the story, Grampy has become more accepting of his son and his partner. I will use this text in my classroom to teach students about conflict and resolutions that take place in a story. This book was the only one in my text set that had an actual problem/solution storyline in it. This book will teach that families have conflict with one another which is something that many same sex parent families face. It will also teach children about acceptance. Author and illustrator, Judith Vigna does a superb job of laying out the conflict with both her words and pictures. Vigna’s illustrations are engaging and enhance the story.

[Bonnieyayaleyyy · Rating 3 out of 5]

My Two Uncles tells the story of Elly and her family. Elly and her parents live with Gran and Grampy, who are planning their Fiftieth wedding anniversary celebration. Elly’s family also includes her Uncle Ned and Uncle Phil, who is Uncle Ned’s partner. Elly struggles to understand why Uncle Ned won’t come to the party, and her dad explains that Grampy hasn’t invited him because he is gay. Elly loves Uncle Ned and Uncle Phil, and can’t understand why Grampy is so upset. Uncle Ned asks Elly to pass along his gift for Gran and Grampy’s party, and when Grampy opens it, he is sad he made Uncle Ned feel unwelcome.

This story is different from many children’s stories because it shows a real family conflict and an issue facing many LGBT families. Grampy’s reaction to Phil and Ned is very common, but readers will feel heartened that Grampy can see that he is wrong, and may be willing to welcome Ned and Phil to future family events.

[Bella · Rating 3 out of 5]

It’s a very cute children’s book that deals with how kids feel when they love someone and have to face homophobia about someone they love. The drawings are cute, it’s all very age-appropriate, and I liked the way the author handled a child learning about homophobia.

I was all set to dub this book as dated but sweet until the grandfather gave an odd and tone deaf speech that basically amounted to “too bad my gay son can’t be here because of me, ah well, these things happen, can’t get around it.” It was a very quick reckoning of his own homophobia but the book ended with him still being homophobic? No good resolution.

[Chanelle · Rating 4 out of 5]

My Two Uncles is based on a girl who loves spending time with her two uncles. She loves doing projects with them. Her grandparents’ anniversary is coming up so the three of them decide to make them a gift. Her grandfather doesn’t approve of his sons’ partner and tells him that his partner is not allowed to come. The girl becomes upset and wants to know why her grandfather is acting this way. Her father explains that some people don’t believe that two men should be together. In the end, the grandfather realizes that what he is doing is wrong.

[Jessie Weber · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great way to explain being gay to a child. I thought it was a sad book but in the end was happy.

My summary,
The little girl has two uncles and she loves doing crafts with them. They make something for her grandparents for their wedding anniversary. The grandpa does not want the other uncle to come but is ok with his son coming. They decide not to go but in the end their craft was the best part of the party and they go say thank you to them but the grandpa does not go inside but waves to them so he is starting to get better with being ok with them.

[Kimberly · Rating 4 out of 5]

A story that could resonate well with children who have homosexual relatives that they are close to. Elly's grandfather has not been able to accept that his son is gay despite the rest of the family being okay with it; this is not hard to imagine and may be a very real situation for a child to face. The dad's description of "gay" was a little overlong, but gently done and appropriate for the age group. I liked the little sliver of hope at the end when Grandpa waves back to Ned and Phil. A well-done book.

[Hope Johnson · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a very important book to have in your classroom. Children need to see themselves in the pages of the books that you read. Many children deal with many problems such as gay marriage and they think they may be strange. Allowing a child to see this book will show them that having family that has partners of the opposite sex is no problem, and they still love you very much.

[Sharon Green · Rating 4 out of 5]

grades 4-6
read aloud/independent
fluent
problem realism
non-traditional family/homosexuality
dialogue/family relationships
family conflict is created when grandfather will not accept his son's male partner. there is resolution.
love people as they are...acceptance

[Sandra Mendoza · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is an amazing book that educates children on how all families are different and it is important to accept everyone. Children who do come from LGBTQ families will see that they are not the only family that has two dads or two uncles for example.

[Kaylin]

"My Two Uncles" is appropriate for K-2 learners. It is about a young boy whose uncle is gay. The boy, Elly, does not know what being gay means; he just knows that his Uncle Ned is married to his Uncle Phil, and that's just the way it is. The fact that Uncle Ned is gay causes controversy when a family party takes place, so Elly's dad sits down to explain why this is to him. Elly's grandfather does not want Uncle Ned around with his husband, and this makes Elly upset. In the end, the grandfather accepts Uncle Ned and Uncle Phil for who they are, after they made him a diorama for his anniversary. This is a great work of realistic fiction with good representation. Even in today's day, there is not enough recognition of gay partners, cultures, and beliefs. It shows that gay people, as well as people with gay relatives, are completely normal. If I were to teach this in class, I would conduct a lesson on different types of families, whether it be a family with two mother, a single father, etc. I would teach that we need to be accepting of all people and try to destroy the stigma that gay people are harmful or dangerous. Next, I would have the class make dioramas, like they did in the book. I would provide all the necessary materials.

[Liz]

This book was more of a history lesson for my post-millennial kids about how it used to be acceptable to be a homophobic asshole than it was a story about diversity. I’m sure for 1995 it was considered “progressive” and was no doubt controversial, but it left a lot to be desired for kids living in 2018: the lack of acknowledgement that gay people get married too, the flippant way the homophobic grandfather is simple brushed off as a “stubborn old man”, the theme that all of this homophobia is ok, and the very unsatisfactory ending (the grandpa ended up “waving” at his son and his partner from across the street? That’s it? No apology, no reconciliation, no condemnation?) Like I mentioned, for 1995 the authors were writing to their time. But for kids today this was a disappointing book.

[Citlalli · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was interesting because it teaches children about the LGBT communities. This story is about a young girl named Elly, who learns learns that her uncle Ned is gay. She learns that her grandfather does not want to invited her uncle and his partner to, the grandfather and grandmothers
anniversary party because he does not like that his son is gay.