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THE POLYGAMOUS WIVES WRITING CLUB
The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints renounced the practice of plural marriage in 1890. In the mid- to late nineteenth century, however--the heyday of Mormon polygamy--as many as three out of every ten Mormon women became polygamous wives.
Paula Kelly Harline delves deep into the diaries and autobiographies of twenty-nine such women, providing a rare window into the lives they led and revealing their views and experiences of polygamy, including their well-founded belief that their domestic contributions would help to build a foundation for generations of future Mormons. Polygamous wives were participants in a controversial and very public religious practice that violated most nineteenth-century social and religious rules of a monogamous America. Harline considers the questions: Were these women content with their sacrifice? Did the benefits of polygamous marriage for the Mormons outweigh the human toll it required and the embarrassment it continues to bring?
Polygamous wives faced daunting challenges not only imposed by the wider society but within the home, yet those whose writings Harline explores give voice to far more than unhappiness and discontent. The personal writings of these women, all married to different husbands, are the heart of this remarkable book--they paint a vivid and sometimes disturbing picture of an all but vanished and still controversial way of life.
Paula Kelly Harline delves deep into the diaries and autobiographies of twenty-nine such women, providing a rare window into the lives they led and revealing their views and experiences of polygamy, including their well-founded belief that their domestic contributions would help to build a foundation for generations of future Mormons. Polygamous wives were participants in a controversial and very public religious practice that violated most nineteenth-century social and religious rules of a monogamous America. Harline considers the questions: Were these women content with their sacrifice? Did the benefits of polygamous marriage for the Mormons outweigh the human toll it required and the embarrassment it continues to bring?
Polygamous wives faced daunting challenges not only imposed by the wider society but within the home, yet those whose writings Harline explores give voice to far more than unhappiness and discontent. The personal writings of these women, all married to different husbands, are the heart of this remarkable book--they paint a vivid and sometimes disturbing picture of an all but vanished and still controversial way of life.
260 pages, Hardcover
First published May 19, 2014
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 62 reviews
August 25, 2014
This was well researched and had excellent photographs of most of the subjects too, both the wives and husbands. But I was disappointed in the omission of original tracts of those diaries in length. From the beginning and introduction, especially, that seemed to be the stated assumption that they would be included. But as much information and thorough history as this author reveals, it is always within her own contrast and comparison style and detailing, with only brief quotes from the diaries. I'd rather the entire tracts of original survey to see why she gleamed what she did in my own sense of context.
The stories of so many people within the 50 year time frame of the last half of the 19th Century was at times a bit confusing. But by putting those detail maps in every chapter, it became more informative to the distances and placements of all these families. That was excellent.
The stories themselves, as needy and tragic as they were in great part, are not that different from monogamous marriage in similar pioneer locale and era, IMHO. So much poverty, lack of social interchange, child death, spousal death, and terrible medical help and/or food supplies, all tripled by physical suffering and loneliness-
was the usual monogamous marriage story, as well.
But the idea that sister wives mostly helped each other and were aides in this vast and harsh environment to avoid these negatives is also, IMHO, a complete fairy tale that is demonstrated here. Many of these women were taking this particular marriage choice from maybe 5 possible routes for their futures. In the viewpoint of a more modern era, all five, to our way of fulfillment and ideas of romantic love would be considered bad to horrid. Because being a spinster, a deserted or survivor female, or even a solitary successful business or service/trade worker was nearly impossible for any thriving in this era's culture and economics. And not only out West. Many of these women come from other more failed and less in possible pathway to solitary survival economic systems. Or from systems where the female had no rights of ownership or independent autonomy at all. Here they could own and had deed.
This book details these women's lives to great minutia of origin, living locations, stats of births if available, and death dates. It also clearly relates their religious or Mormon context to a mission goal or purpose. For some that was essential, and not for others.
What comes across the most after the read is over to me? Is that the economic avenue that is so continually heralded as a base foundation for polygamy, failed in a great percentage of these marriages. Also that all wives were absolutely not equal at all in their husband's eyes or pocketbook. In fact, completely the opposite. Also, that as much as it populated the land for purpose and successful sustenance it had another prime result. That result being a firm control by males for both the spiritual and the corporal outcomes.
At the end of the book, the author investigates and tells of her own family's ancestral place and pattern in this geographic historical context.
It was an interesting book, but I'd have rather read tracts of diary, even if hardly literate to proper English.
The present pattern of modern urban serial monogamy has very similar tales of conflict, grief, child displacement, economic collapse and worse personal abuse. So I'm surprised that some reviewers put such severe judgments on these Mormon polygamous failures and consequences. At least these groups aided their own and rarely allowed the members to become life long dependents with no work or livelihood of action or invention.
The stories of so many people within the 50 year time frame of the last half of the 19th Century was at times a bit confusing. But by putting those detail maps in every chapter, it became more informative to the distances and placements of all these families. That was excellent.
The stories themselves, as needy and tragic as they were in great part, are not that different from monogamous marriage in similar pioneer locale and era, IMHO. So much poverty, lack of social interchange, child death, spousal death, and terrible medical help and/or food supplies, all tripled by physical suffering and loneliness-
was the usual monogamous marriage story, as well.
But the idea that sister wives mostly helped each other and were aides in this vast and harsh environment to avoid these negatives is also, IMHO, a complete fairy tale that is demonstrated here. Many of these women were taking this particular marriage choice from maybe 5 possible routes for their futures. In the viewpoint of a more modern era, all five, to our way of fulfillment and ideas of romantic love would be considered bad to horrid. Because being a spinster, a deserted or survivor female, or even a solitary successful business or service/trade worker was nearly impossible for any thriving in this era's culture and economics. And not only out West. Many of these women come from other more failed and less in possible pathway to solitary survival economic systems. Or from systems where the female had no rights of ownership or independent autonomy at all. Here they could own and had deed.
This book details these women's lives to great minutia of origin, living locations, stats of births if available, and death dates. It also clearly relates their religious or Mormon context to a mission goal or purpose. For some that was essential, and not for others.
What comes across the most after the read is over to me? Is that the economic avenue that is so continually heralded as a base foundation for polygamy, failed in a great percentage of these marriages. Also that all wives were absolutely not equal at all in their husband's eyes or pocketbook. In fact, completely the opposite. Also, that as much as it populated the land for purpose and successful sustenance it had another prime result. That result being a firm control by males for both the spiritual and the corporal outcomes.
At the end of the book, the author investigates and tells of her own family's ancestral place and pattern in this geographic historical context.
It was an interesting book, but I'd have rather read tracts of diary, even if hardly literate to proper English.
The present pattern of modern urban serial monogamy has very similar tales of conflict, grief, child displacement, economic collapse and worse personal abuse. So I'm surprised that some reviewers put such severe judgments on these Mormon polygamous failures and consequences. At least these groups aided their own and rarely allowed the members to become life long dependents with no work or livelihood of action or invention.
January 21, 2024
Thorough research and brilliant writing that engagingly weaves together the stories of twenty-nine polygamous wives using their own diaries and autobiographies. There’s a reason we haven’t heard their stories before. These women’s words bring about a particular form of horror and grief that can only come from studying Mormon polygamy, especially the day-to-day struggles of it, much of which contradicts all the justifications we’re given for why polygamy was ever practiced. “The ideal of polygamy, as with most ideals, outdistanced the reality,” the author says. And precisely because of that, I’m so glad to have their stories compiled here.
November 12, 2014
Great use of primary sources to illuminate the ordinary lives of women. This book is definitely academic, and suffers from a little of that dryness, but on the whole is enjoyable.
The diaries and autobiographies quoted here are of women "living polygamy" in the Mormon communities from the mid-1800s through the federal crackdown, statehood, and to the end of their lives.
Most of the women have ambivalence about their situation. They want to follow God, and are convinced that polygamy is God's will, and therefore endure. But only one of the 29 women quoted experienced polygamy as positive.
This accords with the Biblical record. It always intrigues me when people endorse polygamy because it appears in the Bible. It does appear; and everywhere it appears family rivalries, mistreatment of women by men and by each other, and half-sibling conflicts follow inevitably. No one seriously argues for sibling slaying because the story of Cain and Abel is in the Bible; arguing for polygamy on the basis of the story of the wives of Israel or of Sarah and Hagar seems equally indefensible. But I digress.
The diaries and autobiographies quoted here are of women "living polygamy" in the Mormon communities from the mid-1800s through the federal crackdown, statehood, and to the end of their lives.
Most of the women have ambivalence about their situation. They want to follow God, and are convinced that polygamy is God's will, and therefore endure. But only one of the 29 women quoted experienced polygamy as positive.
This accords with the Biblical record. It always intrigues me when people endorse polygamy because it appears in the Bible. It does appear; and everywhere it appears family rivalries, mistreatment of women by men and by each other, and half-sibling conflicts follow inevitably. No one seriously argues for sibling slaying because the story of Cain and Abel is in the Bible; arguing for polygamy on the basis of the story of the wives of Israel or of Sarah and Hagar seems equally indefensible. But I digress.
November 18, 2019
This is a collection of mini-biographies of 29 women in 19th century Utah. The author chose polygamous wives who were not connected to the leadership in Salt Lake. It gives a broader picture of what the run-of-the-mill experience, without being an elite, would have been.
And how was it? Lonely. Always lonely. And hard. Nellie Parkinson wrote that "it nearly killed me. ... Since the Church urged it and the family all approved there was nothing to do but make the best of it. ... But for the trial of polygamy, life would have been very good. I see of late years how foolish I was. I could not escape it so should not have grieved."
Many women publicly defended it, while privately lamenting and loathing it. Some found solace and support with their sister wives, while others found acrimony. Others described their husband's wives with a deafening silence, hardly giving them even a name.
The journals were always more straight forward and blunt about the hardship, while the autobiographies dictated at the end of their life, smoothed over and roses-colored the tint. They told the idealization more than the reality. This reflects the religious motive. No one defended it well because of its pragmatic elements. All defended it by religious duty and obligation. This creates a "conflicting legacy of price in the sacrifice polygamists endured, along with a persisting unease with the teachings and practices themselves."
I found the religious pressure troubling. Although in name, women were supposed to be able to consent and have agency. Social, familial, and ecclesiastic pressure to enter Celestial Marriage were great. This was especially hard reading about the teenage brides. As polygamy was being required for advancement in leadership, more men felt obliged to into the arrangement. By the late 1850's, most eligible women were married. This placed pressure on marrying younger wives, which they did.
I recommend the book. It is a short 200 pages. I think Paula Kelly Harline wrote an accessible, quick romp through the lives of these women. She gives thoughtful commentary and context. We see the ups and downs of their lives. Most importantly, all is told from the voice, diaries, autobiographies of these faithful women. We need more and more of this to help us understand the complex, perplexed, and vexing practice of plural marriage.
And how was it? Lonely. Always lonely. And hard. Nellie Parkinson wrote that "it nearly killed me. ... Since the Church urged it and the family all approved there was nothing to do but make the best of it. ... But for the trial of polygamy, life would have been very good. I see of late years how foolish I was. I could not escape it so should not have grieved."
Many women publicly defended it, while privately lamenting and loathing it. Some found solace and support with their sister wives, while others found acrimony. Others described their husband's wives with a deafening silence, hardly giving them even a name.
The journals were always more straight forward and blunt about the hardship, while the autobiographies dictated at the end of their life, smoothed over and roses-colored the tint. They told the idealization more than the reality. This reflects the religious motive. No one defended it well because of its pragmatic elements. All defended it by religious duty and obligation. This creates a "conflicting legacy of price in the sacrifice polygamists endured, along with a persisting unease with the teachings and practices themselves."
I found the religious pressure troubling. Although in name, women were supposed to be able to consent and have agency. Social, familial, and ecclesiastic pressure to enter Celestial Marriage were great. This was especially hard reading about the teenage brides. As polygamy was being required for advancement in leadership, more men felt obliged to into the arrangement. By the late 1850's, most eligible women were married. This placed pressure on marrying younger wives, which they did.
I recommend the book. It is a short 200 pages. I think Paula Kelly Harline wrote an accessible, quick romp through the lives of these women. She gives thoughtful commentary and context. We see the ups and downs of their lives. Most importantly, all is told from the voice, diaries, autobiographies of these faithful women. We need more and more of this to help us understand the complex, perplexed, and vexing practice of plural marriage.
November 6, 2014
This book was fascinating. Having polygamous ancestry in both my husband's and my family lines. this topic was interesting to me. What I loved about it was that the bulk of the material came from primary sources woven together in a lyrical narrative which let the reader draw his/her own conclusions about the practice.
The book follows a set of criteria in that the material used was from women who were not married to prominent church leaders, and lived in Utah, rather than during the era of Nauvoo. It also follows polygamy chronologically, from the late 1840s to the 1890s, from the height of its popularity, to the waning era and what happened afterward. All in all, I was disabused of some of my assumptions about polygamly, and I gained a much clearer picture of what it really was like. It has given me the impetus to look and see what writings I may be able to find from my own grandmothers, about their lives.
The book follows a set of criteria in that the material used was from women who were not married to prominent church leaders, and lived in Utah, rather than during the era of Nauvoo. It also follows polygamy chronologically, from the late 1840s to the 1890s, from the height of its popularity, to the waning era and what happened afterward. All in all, I was disabused of some of my assumptions about polygamly, and I gained a much clearer picture of what it really was like. It has given me the impetus to look and see what writings I may be able to find from my own grandmothers, about their lives.
January 18, 2016
Interesting glimpse into their world. Her bias against the practice is apparent, but not so much to detract from the book.
It would have been good to compare the sufferings of the polygamist to the monogamists of the same period and culture. Most of the Mormon pioneers had suffered much in the way of poverty and deprivations.
Also her conclusions about what was left out of the diaries seems a bit of a logical leap. All of the people of the era (especially 1870's and 1880's) were terrified of the federal marshals and prosecutors. Wives were forced to testify against husbands (which was illegal). No doubt they were concerned that their diary entries could and would be used by the government to throw their husbands in prison.
But all in all, I enjoyed this book.
It would have been good to compare the sufferings of the polygamist to the monogamists of the same period and culture. Most of the Mormon pioneers had suffered much in the way of poverty and deprivations.
Also her conclusions about what was left out of the diaries seems a bit of a logical leap. All of the people of the era (especially 1870's and 1880's) were terrified of the federal marshals and prosecutors. Wives were forced to testify against husbands (which was illegal). No doubt they were concerned that their diary entries could and would be used by the government to throw their husbands in prison.
But all in all, I enjoyed this book.
October 24, 2014
I'm giving this book four stars because I think it is a great source for creating awareness of early Mormon polygamists (as opposed to break-off fundamentalist groups), which are sadly under-represented. This author has obviously done a TON of research on the subject and I love that it's drawn from primary sources that she quotes from liberally throughout the book. I took away a star because I didn't like the narrative, and the organization of the text went against my tastes too. I recognize that these are my own biases from the perspective of myself (of course), preferring raw historical facts to draw conclusions for myself rather than someone else drawing conclusions that I felt were rash/false instead. As the author tried to imagine scenarios where people could meet, it all seemed overly (and liberally) speculative to me and didn't add anything at all to the overall purpose of the book--seemed like just a way to make it more novel-like in my mind (which is something that bothers me in a lot of books today, actually, because some how it seems to trivialize the experiences of those who actually lived through the times, though I'm sure that was not the authors intent). And I wish she'd stuck to one woman's story at a time within the chapter, instead of interweaving them as chapters progressed, keeping track of all the wives (and their husbands and children) got stressful! Also, I didn't really understand why the chapters were put in the order they were. There was certainly no chronology that flowed, like from the time it started to when it ended, because the end chapter didn't have much to do with the Manifesto at all, it was more about being in bad relationships. And the subjects sections listed on the title page seemed randomly chosen, not because they were deemed the most essential things to learn from the women's experiences. It would've been nice to know how many descendants remained faithful in the Church as a result of these faithful women as well. More pictures would've been nice too--even keeping track of her own family genealogy at the end got a little stressful without more pictures to associate with the individuals she was discussing. My favorite parts of the book (aside from quotes from the actual wives) was the "interludes" where the author wrote like an historian--definitely her best (and most interesting) writing by far, and very informative. Hopefully the book will do well enough to allow for another edition where some of the quirks can be smoothed out.
January 21, 2017
I've always been a little curious about the whys and hows of polygamy in those early days in the Church. But even more than that, I have always wondered about the women involved. Did they join up willingly? Was it just a better-than-nothing approach for widows and those enduring the hard times alone? Were these women saints or did they ever have doubts and misgivings?
I haven't done much reading on polygamy because I didn't want to read books out to discredit the church or church leaders. When I saw this book I noticed the author wrote it using the diaries of these women who: a) never left the church and b) weren't married to prophets or high ranking church leaders. So this was about faithful latter-day saint women experiencing polygamy with normal latter-day saint men. (Ok somewhat normal lds men, a couple of these guys had real issues.)
So I ultimately found the book quite depressing. I always have thought that living a polygamous lifestyle would be incredibly difficult and this book pretty much confirmed that. The women seemed happiest when the husband was out of the picture--whether they were left alone with the other wives or just on their own with their children--and this seems like a strange picture of a happy eternal family to me. Anyway, I'm not sure if only the women who struggled kept diaries or if the author purposely only wrote about unhappy polygamous wives, but it was overall a negative portrayal of it all. The inspiring moments came from reading about how dedicated these women were to the gospel--that they were willing to go through so much because they thought it was what God wanted--and that many of them became very self-reliant and independent because many of them couldn't rely on their husbands for money or were left alone or left behind or divorced.
The author does explore a few reasons why the saints may have been commanded (or allowed) to practice polygamy and they seem reasonable. Who knows? It's one of those things we may never have answers to in this life but it was definitely reassuring to see that women struggled with doing what they felt like was the right thing and that they stayed true to their testimonies through good times and bad. So hopefully I can do the same through my own struggles in this life!
I haven't done much reading on polygamy because I didn't want to read books out to discredit the church or church leaders. When I saw this book I noticed the author wrote it using the diaries of these women who: a) never left the church and b) weren't married to prophets or high ranking church leaders. So this was about faithful latter-day saint women experiencing polygamy with normal latter-day saint men. (Ok somewhat normal lds men, a couple of these guys had real issues.)
So I ultimately found the book quite depressing. I always have thought that living a polygamous lifestyle would be incredibly difficult and this book pretty much confirmed that. The women seemed happiest when the husband was out of the picture--whether they were left alone with the other wives or just on their own with their children--and this seems like a strange picture of a happy eternal family to me. Anyway, I'm not sure if only the women who struggled kept diaries or if the author purposely only wrote about unhappy polygamous wives, but it was overall a negative portrayal of it all. The inspiring moments came from reading about how dedicated these women were to the gospel--that they were willing to go through so much because they thought it was what God wanted--and that many of them became very self-reliant and independent because many of them couldn't rely on their husbands for money or were left alone or left behind or divorced.
The author does explore a few reasons why the saints may have been commanded (or allowed) to practice polygamy and they seem reasonable. Who knows? It's one of those things we may never have answers to in this life but it was definitely reassuring to see that women struggled with doing what they felt like was the right thing and that they stayed true to their testimonies through good times and bad. So hopefully I can do the same through my own struggles in this life!
May 26, 2015
Paula Kelly Harline has done something remarkable with The Polygamous Wives Writing Club. She has brought polygamy - a topic that few in the modern Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints are truly knowledgeable about or comfortable discussing - in from the "safe" distance provided by keeping it in realm of the theoretical and theological, and grounded it firmly in reality, warts and all.
In all, "Mormon participation in polygamous marriage averaged between 25 and 30 percent if men, women, and children in polygamous families are counted" and "an average of three in every ten Mormon women became polygamous wives." That is not a small portion of our forebears and they deserve to have their stories told - the good, the bad, the ugly, and everything in between.
Using the diaries and autobiographies of twenty-nine Mormon pioneer women who lived polygamy in the late 1800s and early 1900s in Utah, Harline has provided an intimate look at what living polygamy really meant for regular Mormon women, not the famous ones, or the ones married to Church leaders, but those down in the trenches from St. George to Smithfield. In each chapter she introduces two or three women, often from the same area, whose lives parallel each others' in numerous ways, highlighting the similarities and accentuating the differences in families that lived a polygamous lifestyle.
This provides an incredibly nuanced view of "the complicated response" of many women to polygamy. Simply put, in the words of one, "I believed that the principle of plural marriage was from God, but it was still hard--it nearly killed me."
In all, "Mormon participation in polygamous marriage averaged between 25 and 30 percent if men, women, and children in polygamous families are counted" and "an average of three in every ten Mormon women became polygamous wives." That is not a small portion of our forebears and they deserve to have their stories told - the good, the bad, the ugly, and everything in between.
Using the diaries and autobiographies of twenty-nine Mormon pioneer women who lived polygamy in the late 1800s and early 1900s in Utah, Harline has provided an intimate look at what living polygamy really meant for regular Mormon women, not the famous ones, or the ones married to Church leaders, but those down in the trenches from St. George to Smithfield. In each chapter she introduces two or three women, often from the same area, whose lives parallel each others' in numerous ways, highlighting the similarities and accentuating the differences in families that lived a polygamous lifestyle.
This provides an incredibly nuanced view of "the complicated response" of many women to polygamy. Simply put, in the words of one, "I believed that the principle of plural marriage was from God, but it was still hard--it nearly killed me."
January 9, 2015
A wonderful read. I had to dock a star only because, as others stated in their reviews, I agree that we should have been given larger blocks of direct text from the diaries/autobiographies, or at least some appendices of excerpts. I also found myself keeping track of the various women with pen and paper because there was a bit of jumping around, but I enjoy doing that. I have no ties to the Mormon church so for me there was no personal connection to the stories, but it served as a phenomenally engaging glimpse into the worlds of those women. This book shows the practice of early polygamy for what it was, a complex system that had little governance and proved beneficial for some, heartbreaking for others, and difficult for all. It made me want to research multiple diaries from the same families and anything left behind by the husbands as well. Highly recommend this book for anyone interested in marriage history.
August 23, 2014
I loved reading this book. I learned about the complexities of polygamy in the 19th century mormon culture, and saw the very human reaction various women had to the experience. I grew and was uplifted from reading of their experiences and seeing similar conflicts and struggles in my own modern life.
August 12, 2014
A must-read for Mormons. I was surprised to learn how controversial polygamy was among members, even when it was being practiced by the church. Any inkling of an idea I have ever had about polygamy having some benefits is gone. What a terrible way to live. A book to own.
August 4, 2014
Depressing stuff!
These women all believed very strongly in their Mormon faith, and believed in the idea of plural marriage, but they found the actual practice to be incredibly hard.
These women all believed very strongly in their Mormon faith, and believed in the idea of plural marriage, but they found the actual practice to be incredibly hard.
March 5, 2018
Whew....This book is not for the faint of heart (or testimony.) I'm very cautious about the sources I choose when it comes to church history due the vast amount of false information circulating. I would say I'm in the camp of active LDS women who just don't like the fact that saints were asked to live polygamous lives in the 1800's. I blame my distaste to a lack of understanding how there could've been something holy about this commandment. The author is mostly silent as to speculating the purposes of polygamy. She instead uses the actual histories that a few of these women and their families left behind, along with other existing records to tell the stories of their lives. I will say that the author does not include any women who had a positive experience living polygamy, yet the author makes clear that there were many happy polygamous homes. It made me wonder what the author's motive was in writing such a one-sided picture.
The author presents 3 women living in a similar geographical area in each chapter and flips between them in her narrative. Trying to keep each woman and all the people in her family together in my mind confused me multiple times. I wish the author would've kept the biographies single.
The author presents 3 women living in a similar geographical area in each chapter and flips between them in her narrative. Trying to keep each woman and all the people in her family together in my mind confused me multiple times. I wish the author would've kept the biographies single.
December 2, 2024
This book told the stories of women who lived polygamy in the late 1800s . These women wrote in journals or wrote autobiographies of their lives. It was interesting and pretty much what I expected a polygamist life to be like, horrible!
It's interesting to note that most of the women did not like practicing polygamy. They agreed to practice it under the assumption that they would get a higher degree of glory in the afterlife if they did.
I do admire their perseverance and faith, but I do not understand the practice as it was taught. It doesn't shake my faith in the restored gospel. It just makes me scratch my head and think , why? Why set up a family for failure? The majority of the women hardly ever lived with their husband's, they were almost always destitute and starving.
The husband could never afford to take care of all his wives and children nor have any kind of meaningful relationship with them. It just does not make sense to me. But it was interesting, but reading it tended to make make me angry at the whole idea, so don't read it if you don't want to be upset.
I will say some of the women's writing made me laugh, it was good to see their sense of humor and sense of disdane for the practice 😄
It's interesting to note that most of the women did not like practicing polygamy. They agreed to practice it under the assumption that they would get a higher degree of glory in the afterlife if they did.
I do admire their perseverance and faith, but I do not understand the practice as it was taught. It doesn't shake my faith in the restored gospel. It just makes me scratch my head and think , why? Why set up a family for failure? The majority of the women hardly ever lived with their husband's, they were almost always destitute and starving.
The husband could never afford to take care of all his wives and children nor have any kind of meaningful relationship with them. It just does not make sense to me. But it was interesting, but reading it tended to make make me angry at the whole idea, so don't read it if you don't want to be upset.
I will say some of the women's writing made me laugh, it was good to see their sense of humor and sense of disdane for the practice 😄
November 30, 2025
I chose to read The Polygamous Wives Writing Club after reading Linda Hamilton’s The Fourth Wife, as she cited it as a reference. Whether we admit it or not, I think many are curious about the lives of polygamous wives. The diary and autobiography entries cited in The Polygamous Wives Writing Club reinforced my suspicions about how many women felt about this very peculiar institution. While many were convinced they would be rewarded in the afterlife, the day to day reality could be downright grim. Sharing a home with one or more other women, raising children together, sharing the affections or at least attentions … not to mention the worldly goods … of one man was frequently a strain, at best, and if the husband was not a good provider, it meant the women working to bring in enough resources to support the family. Life on the frontier was hard enough in a monogamous marriage, and being married in name but having to work like a widow or single mother (especially once plural marriage was declared illegal and your husband might be on the run!), well no wonder so many of the women whose writings were collected predeceased their spouse! An interesting read.
January 2, 2021
3.5*. 4 for content, 3 for writing style, I wished for more direct passages in their original form.
Born from the journals of polygamous women, not married to high-ranking leaders and yet stayed active in the church for life, this book weaves their accounts together for a look at the common polygamist experience.
It brings to light the poverty and financial hardship, many times for life, placed on women in plural marriages. It documents the lateral loneliness and longing for the individualized love culturally found in monogamous relationships.
I had never considered the difficult transition for women in polygamous marriages when the Manifesto denounced polygamy with little direction or support given for the next step. The pain and confusion of practicing something so difficult to meet God's will for eternal salvation that abruptly no longer applied left many women in limbo, financially, martially, and spiritually. And yet the collective relief was apparent that the practice was no longer required of them as they continued to be active in the church.
Born from the journals of polygamous women, not married to high-ranking leaders and yet stayed active in the church for life, this book weaves their accounts together for a look at the common polygamist experience.
It brings to light the poverty and financial hardship, many times for life, placed on women in plural marriages. It documents the lateral loneliness and longing for the individualized love culturally found in monogamous relationships.
I had never considered the difficult transition for women in polygamous marriages when the Manifesto denounced polygamy with little direction or support given for the next step. The pain and confusion of practicing something so difficult to meet God's will for eternal salvation that abruptly no longer applied left many women in limbo, financially, martially, and spiritually. And yet the collective relief was apparent that the practice was no longer required of them as they continued to be active in the church.
May 16, 2021
I love the premise of the book. Looking at women's accounts of their lives in Mormon polygamy in the 1800's--but only women who did not have social privilege by being married to high-status men. Just your everyday, hard-working, Jane Does that happened to be plural wives--who were often known only by their husband's name and which number of wife they were. Since this is my heritage, one I've ignored my whole life because it's uncomfortable for me, I thought I should finally learn about these amazing women who braved the world's reproach and often their own husband's disregard and bore and raised their children mostly by themselves. I wish everyone in Mormondom knew these stories and these women instead of relying on sanitized versions of early polygamy.
I did not give 5 stars because I didn't prefer how the book was organized and I listened to it but found the narration by the author grating at times.
I did not give 5 stars because I didn't prefer how the book was organized and I listened to it but found the narration by the author grating at times.
October 27, 2021
Extremely well researched using a lot of excerpts from the Mormon women's diaries who chose to live the polygamous lifestyle from the mid-1800s to early 1900s. The author is a born and bred LDS church member so there is that to consider because, like her sisters before her, there clearly is that "sweet" voice that doesn't really provide an objective perspective of the overall experience (too polite for my tastes both from the pioneer past and present voices); nor is there much edification on the church's changing doctrines toward polygamist practice.
Most of the women quoted in the text avoided any mention of their sister wives. It was apparent that the wives experienced a great deal of pain sharing their husbands with other women, but felt compelled to continue the practice to ensure themselves a place in Heaven. Their pain and personal battles with polygamy was palpable.
Most of the women quoted in the text avoided any mention of their sister wives. It was apparent that the wives experienced a great deal of pain sharing their husbands with other women, but felt compelled to continue the practice to ensure themselves a place in Heaven. Their pain and personal battles with polygamy was palpable.
January 16, 2022
I love that the author focused on how women experienced polygamy on the frontier. She rarely focused on men except for when the women introduced their husband's. However, I wish she had offered more analysis throughout. At some points, it was almost like she was afraid to heavily criticize polygamy even though the evidence she offered said that polygamy made life incredibly difficult for the women and dependent on men, even if women did *get to have* their own households. I'm not sure of Harline's religious affiliation, but it wouldn't surprise me if she were Mormon, as even though she doesn't justify polygamy, she didn't feel comfortable outright condemning it, either.
February 19, 2025
2.5 stars, rounded up. Like other reviewers, I really wish that Harline had let the women speak more for themselves rather than incorporating bits and pieces of their writing into her many, many speculations. I imagine her presumptions about the lives of the polygamous families she focused on are pretty close to accurate, but I would rather have heard it from them. Her writing style was not to my taste - a lot of repetition and awkward phrasing. Nevertheless, I think she did a great thing in introducing the women whose diaries and autobiographies she used as the foundation of this book to the world.
May 7, 2018
Wow! So much to think about while reading this. The title may sound like a work of fiction, but it's misleading as this is non-fiction. I appreciated that this was a research oriented look at polygamy in Utah during the mid 1800's, instead of a religious examination. The hardship, love, grief, sadness and joy the presented women experienced left me in awe. I do wish there had been lengthier, direct quotes from the original diaries and autobiographies, but what was included brought the women and their lives to life.
April 11, 2022
3.5 for the organization, 4 stars for the actual information.
I read this within 2 weeks of reading A House Full of Females.
This work was very different in its set up. It highlighted an assortment of polygamous wives grouped by first wives, subsequent wives, marriages post-Manifesto, etc. I didn't love how it was organized, but I loved reading these women's stories. It was intriguing how they almost never mentioned their fellow wives (marriages, child-bearing, deaths) unless it highly effected their own lives.
I read this within 2 weeks of reading A House Full of Females.
This work was very different in its set up. It highlighted an assortment of polygamous wives grouped by first wives, subsequent wives, marriages post-Manifesto, etc. I didn't love how it was organized, but I loved reading these women's stories. It was intriguing how they almost never mentioned their fellow wives (marriages, child-bearing, deaths) unless it highly effected their own lives.
August 7, 2017
I debated giving this book two stars instead of three. Although I enjoyed the stories of the women and their complex attitudes toward polygamy, I felt the author's writing style detracted heavily from the novel. The author indulged heavily in speculation, and she summarized most of the women's experiences rather than drawing from their own words. It was a good reading experience, albeit a very flawed one.
January 23, 2022
Harline does a really good job of grouping together similar women's stories together to paint a picture of everyday life on the frontier on as a polygamist wife. Reading this, it was easy to both see the individual lives of each journal writing as well as broad trends in the Mormon community throughout the later half of the 19th century.
February 11, 2020
Follows 12 ordinary women who kept journals as polygamous wives to non-famous men. They worked sooooo hard. The happiest wife was the one who only wrote about how well the wives got along, never anything about her husband.
April 20, 2020
This book was beautifully written. I loved how it showed so many sides of a very complex issue through the writing of the women who lived it. Ms. Harline does a great job giving historical context to the diaries but also looking at the issue through today's eyes.
December 3, 2017
Very interesting book. Gives a clear explanation of polygamous marriages from the wives view point. Good information about the Mormon practice of polygamy and how it evolved.
February 26, 2019
Polygamous wives were unhappy and the author was surprised.
March 6, 2021
Misleading title. Not the writings of pioneer women, more the ramblings of a woman who read them and told several disjointed stories. More speculation than information.
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