Better Is Not So Far Away

by Melissa Groman

From hurting to healing . . . resistance to recovery . . . struggle to strength . . . This can be your storyWhen your parents, friends, or partner tell you what you should or should not do to "get better," do you think, "They just don't get it"?

Melissa Groman gets it. As a therapist, she has spent twenty-five years helping young women who binge, starve, and physically harm themselves to heal and recover. In Better Is Not So Far Away, she combines her experience, wisdom, and compassion to help you see beyond your behavior, discover who you really are, and decide to change your life.

You might know that obsession, disordered eating, and self-harm won't ultimately make you feel better--but you haven't been able to stop.

Bridging the gap between what you feel and what you do, Groman explores raw emotional pain with a deep knowledge of the human psyche, including stories of those who have suffered, faced, and conquered self-destructive urges. "A life well-lived means more than just a lessening of symptoms," Groman writes. "It means a true shift in how you think and how you tend to your own feelings and the feelings of others."

Dealing with family, friendships, emotions, and life itself--as well as food and body issues--can be complex and can get in the way of even wanting to recover.

When you clear away some of the emotional obstacles, it's easier to take practical steps to genuine relief and healing. This book will help you do just that. It can be the first or next right step toward facing your greatest hurts and challenges in a practical, profoundly honest, and self-caring way. A healthy, happy life may seem impossible now--but, truly, it is not so far away.

Genres: Nonfiction, Mental Health, Self Help

306 pages, Kindle Edition

First published June 5, 2014

Reviews

[Q · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book was “assigned reading” for me the first time I entered treatment. I just did a reread. I think it did an overall okay job of addressing reluctance. She does get it. At least for me, I felt like she knew and understood the disordered thoughts and ED voice. However, I found the tone a bit...sanctimonious? Like she was trying too hard to make you like her? Other than that, book explores many ideas that would be of interest to someone just starting recovery. I’m not sure if someone who didn’t want recovery would pick up this book. Maybe someone who was seriously unsure. I found a lot of things to think about and journal about in the first half+ of this book. I didn’t like the second half as much. I thought it was too heavy-handed about trying to improve your relationship to your parents. Sometimes it’s just not possible, and it’s a waste of time to try. Sometimes, you even gotta cut them out of your life. I thought the tone of “you should just try! you never know” to be naive. And it’s insulting to people who were badly abused by their parents. Along the same lines, I thought the book was too heavy-handed on forgiveness, and how great forgiveness was. That was annoying, to be honest. And forgiveness isn’t this wonderful freeing thing the book makes it out to be, at least in my experience. My last problem with this book was how it sprung god on you. Towards the end, it talks about the importance of believing in a higher power and talks about god. The book does say if you don’t care for that stuff to skip the chapter, but it references god in all remaining content after that, which I found alienating and preachy. I picked up this book to read about how to want to get better, not be preached too. The god stuff almost made me want to disregard everything the book said, however, I do acknowledge that I found most of the first half helpful. An OK book, if you can get over the fact that it sounds like she’s telling you she’s right and she knows she’s right all the time.

[Kristina Grajeda · Rating 5 out of 5]

I absolutely loved this book. As someone who was in and out of treatment for the beginning of my 20s I love this book. It does a great job of making you feel like you’re not alone without any judgment or shame. Please give this book a read. It’s a solid 10/10.

[M. J. · Rating 4 out of 5]

I cried a lot while reading this, which is something I usually can't do. I think this book is really incredible in terms of inspiring recovery, or at least making you feel like you're not alone. Melissa understands better than anyone I've ever spoken to. The 4 stars is because it is very much for an audience of white teenaged girls, to the point of mentioning skin color- for example, the term "fleshy pink thigh" was used during one of her (potentially triggering) statements that she uses in the beginning, naming different harmful behaviors to try to validate our experience. As a 21 year old white woman in the U.S., I found the book very helpful, but I'm worried it will hurt other people who are also trying to find the will to recover.

[Coffeebelle · Rating 5 out of 5]

Reading this book is like sitting silently with the author at "the edge of the ledge," knowing she gets it without your having to say a word. "Better Is Not So Far Away" gives readers permission to start where they are, and "better" feels a lot closer when you are not alone.

[D.l. · Rating 4 out of 5]

very well written but not what I was looking for. plenty of positive information letting the reader with an eating disorder know that they aren't alone